42 responses so far ↓

• 1 Lori McKinney // Dec 30, 2008 at 11:17 am

  Hi Dana. My husband and I have a frustrating sleep problem with our son, Nolan. He is 12 weeks old and will only sleep in his car seat. When he first came home from the hospital, he would wake up every 10-15 minutes in his crib or bassinet. After a week of complete sleep deprivation, we put his carseat in his crib and let him sleep in it. He would sleep a few hours at a time instead of just a few minutes. However, now I feel like we have created a monster and don’t know how to get him out of the seat! I have tried conforming blankets around him and even purchased specialty sleep pads to recreate the feeling of a carseat, but nothing works. What a dilema! We would sure appreciate any help!

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• 2 Matt's mom // Dec 30, 2008 at 11:25 am

  Hi! I have a question about my 7month old’s sleeping patterns. Actually I would have to say waking patterns.

  We put him to sleep after a bath around 9. He sleep till 4-5 in the morning with maybe one or 2 wakings. When he wakes during the night, we only pat him and he would fall back to sleep. But when he is awake in the early morning, there is no sleeping again until he has his bottle. Once he played by himself for more than an hour before he fell back into a light sleep only to wake up in an hour.

  I torn between not feeding him so that he learns that it’s not time to wake up and feeding him so that his sleep is not distrupted for too long.

  What should I do?

  Thank you for your answer,

  Una

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• 3 Stacy // Dec 30, 2008 at 11:28 am

  I have a bit of the same concern.. We also have a new baby on the way except my 14 month old still will not sleep in his crib through the night. He barely make it 4 hours without screaming his head off. He has horrible sleep issues and I have no idea how to get his to fall asleep on his own let alone get him to put himself back to sleep if he wakes. Please help me!! I fear I will never sleep again!!

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• 4 Diana Dancs // Dec 30, 2008 at 11:34 am

  Hi Dana,

  My son Alex was moved from his crib to a toddler bed 6 month ago(he is 2 now).We had to move him becouse he jumped out from his crib in the middel of the night.He was fine in his new bed but 2 weeks ago he started to come out and visit us in the middel of the night.Now my peferctly trained sleeper come out 10 times in the middel of the night and 10 times around 5am. too .I`m out of ideas what we suppose to do.I`m keep taking him back but no change.

  Thanks

  Diana

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• 5 rabia // Dec 30, 2008 at 11:49 am

  my baby is almost 9 months old and she is getting much better at putting herseld to sleep at night. After I nurse her ,I just put her down sit by her bed and she puts herself to sleep. However, her naps are a different story. I have tried to put her down the same way at night and sit by her but she will protest so long that either i have to forgo the nap altogther or nurse/rock her to sleep. I have left the room as well but she will cry for more than an hour. What can I do to help with the naps.
  rabia

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• 6 Sabrina // Dec 30, 2008 at 11:50 am

  Hi Dana,

  Something very interesting happened last night. Samara is 11months now and last night she woke up at 10pm and 1am and would not go back to sleep and pretty much demanded that i hold her. She is NOT a hold baby and has NEVER need me to rock her or hold her. She has been sleeping throughout the night since 6 months. What’s up with this new behavior?

  Thanks,
  Sabrina

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• 7 Tynisa // Dec 30, 2008 at 1:59 pm

  A’sharia’ was starting to sleep through the night should would wake up maybe once or twice to be feed now she stays at her Dads house and it seems like her sleep is all confused cause she wakes up all the time maybe like 3,4 of maybe 5 times through the night what should I do.

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• 8 Tanya // Dec 30, 2008 at 3:06 pm

  hi,
  Ty has a dummy and blankie to go to bed with and hes 2 and a half. He wakes up during the nite a few times and now comes into our room. How do i get rid of dummy and blankie and get him to stay in his own bed?

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• 9 Sharon // Dec 30, 2008 at 3:44 pm

  Hi Dana

  I have a 4 1/2 year old who is becoming extremely attached to her thumb. I am told by some to encourage use of a pacifier as you can take away the pacifier but not the thumb so I have been encouraging use of the paci to get her to sleep. Do you have any suggestions???

  Thank you!

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• 10 Sharon // Dec 30, 2008 at 3:46 pm

  Oops!! Sorry - that question above should read 4 1/2 MONTH old!

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• 11 Amanda // Dec 30, 2008 at 3:54 pm

  My 3.5 yo son will not sleep in a bed. We tried to transition him to a big bed at 18 months (only now do I realize that was WAY too early) and he did sleep in it a few nights, but took to sleeping on the floor. Over the past year or so we have tried everyhting to get him to sleep in a bed, to no avail. We have tried even getting him to begin by sleeping on a mattress on the floor, but he won’t even do that. How do we get him to sleep in a bed, or should we just let him go on foever sleeping on the floor?

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• 12 Jenna // Dec 30, 2008 at 4:08 pm

  I am pregnant with my second child (newly pregnant, only 3 months in). I currently have a 10 month old little girl. This new bundle of joy was bit of a surprise, for myself, my husband and our small house! Unfortunately, we were not expecting to have 2 children in this house and it is only a two bedroom. I am a little worried about having the two children share a room at such a young age. I am thinking that if one cries it will wake up the other child, and I will never get any sleep. Help!!!

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• 13 Sara // Dec 30, 2008 at 4:46 pm

  Hi Dana,

  My almost 2 year old has always gone down at 7pm in her cot, and gone to sleep alone, in the dark, with the door shut on her own. She has recently moved into a bed and at first continued to go to sleep as previously, however over the last 3 weeks she has started to get up after being put to bed, and if we don’t go to her she screams and shouts until we do, this goes on for 1 1/2 hours and getting longer. She has also started to wake in the night and it can take 1 1/2 hours to get her to settle again during which time she will scream every time we leave her. We are exhausted, especially as we have a 12 weeks old baby (who sleeps well) and a 3 year old who often wakes in the night (for a wee, to have his covers pullled up) but at least he self settles and we are using a reward system to try and eliminate the nightly wakings. Any help, and advice would be appreciated.

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• 14 Paula // Dec 30, 2008 at 5:45 pm

  My son is 3 mths old and we have recently started trying to implement a routine of one hour awake two down for sleep and so on throughout the day. It has helped a lot because before I used to just breastfeed all day long. However we find it impossible to stick as strictly to the routine as we are supposed to and end up using it more as a rough ideal that we try to achieve. He may sleep for only an hour or an hour and a half and then we’ll get him up because we can’t resettle him for the full two hours. However this had messed up the nice dependable sleep he used to have from 9pm till 11.30 and made him worse during the night. My question is: Is having a fluid/flexible “routine” ok or is this making him confused and is it bad for him? If so do we force him to stay in bed the whole two hours even though he’s clearly not sleepy.

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• 15 Kim // Dec 30, 2008 at 6:52 pm

  I am an exhasuted, working mom of 2 wonderful kids, a 3 year old and 5 month old. The baby will not put herself to sleep except when she is so over tired and that involves crying herself to sleep! I am mostly nursing her still and she still wakes up 3-4 times a night maybe more. I read your articles about not letting the baby fall asleep while nursing and I completely understand why. However, when she does wake up so does not self soothe herself back to sleep, my husband and I have layed listening to her for an hour at the most. So I usually get her and bring her in bed with me to nurse because that is the only way either of us are getting any sleep! I have to get up a 6 am for work and I figure if she is going to scream for an hour I am not getting any sleep anyway so in order to get sleep I am choosing the easy route. What do I do?

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• 16 Asma // Dec 30, 2008 at 7:17 pm

  Hi Dana. My ten month year old sleeps downstairs during the night but upstairs during the day. Both times he sleeps in cots. The reason for this is that his toddler brother wakes him up during the day with his loud sounds. The issue is that my ten month year old still cries to sleep when put down for a nap during the day and only sleeps for half an hour at a time. Is this due to the change in room? I did start putting him in his brothers room three months ago so he should be use to it by now…should he not?

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• 17 Lora Tell // Dec 30, 2008 at 10:55 pm

  My 11 month old will only fall asleep with me or my husband in our bed. This habit got started because he had open heart surgery when he was three months old and I was worried about his breathing. I’ve been putting him in his crib and sitting next to him for the last five nights. He just stands up and cries and his crying escalates no matter how much I try to soothe him. I won’t do the cry it out method without me in the room since I’m worried about the stress it will put on his little body. I feel like its hopeless to get him to bed by himself.

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• 18 Sheila // Dec 30, 2008 at 11:53 pm

  Hello Dana

  My 7 month old can now sleep on his own at bedtime, which is about 6-630pm. The problem is he would wake up at 11 pm or 12 midnight. My husband checks in on him about every ten minutes, pats him and tells him it’s sleeping time but he will continue to cry for about an hour and then I would come and pick him up and nurse him. I put him back awake in the crib and he sleeps no problem only to wake again at about 4 or 5 a.m, the same story, will cry and cry until I come in and nurse him after crying for a long time. When I do nurse him, he nurses well and seems to be very hungry. He has his dinner at about 530 pm before we start his bed time routine. Help!!

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• 19 Deborah // Dec 31, 2008 at 12:16 am

  I have a toddler 15 months who sleeps great during the night ie. 9pm-8.30am. During the day I don’t really have a set time but when I see he is tired and rubbing his eyes I try different methods depending on my whereabouts. I find it exhausting staying home with him all day because I am 6 months pregnant and he is at that “tantrum, I want to explore the world and no body is going to stop me” phase. He’s also quite heavy to have to carry and lift all the time. He easily sleeps in the car but not in his bed. I give him milk, sing to him, rock him but he still cries once I put him to bed and will then sleep only 20-30 mins. What should I do to get him to sleep during the day as a new baby is coming in 4 months.

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• 20 Daniela // Dec 31, 2008 at 8:24 am

  Hi Dana, our 14 months old baby only gets to sleep at night after being rocked in our arms and with a soother, and she also wakes up a few times during the night, looking for her soother - sometimes (lucky times) she manages to find it, but most often I have to find it for her. The strange thing is that for her daytime nap, she is able to fall asleep on her own, in her pram outside in the park, with no rocking and no soother!!! What am I doing wrong, and why can’t she replicate the skills from her daytime nap during the nighttime sleep, too? Many thanks.

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• 21 Joanna // Dec 31, 2008 at 8:29 am

  Hi Dana,
  I have a question regarding my 10 month old twins. They are doing well through the night, but one wakes up every morning at 5:30, nurses for a short time, then goes back to sleep for 1.5-2hrs. The other twin does the same about 3/7days per week. I find they are in a lighter sleep at this time, and allowing them to cry (which I have done, and works in the middle of the night) inevitably wakes both up (and usually the rest of the family!) How do I stretch their sleep out a little longer, so they wake up rested and ready to start their day?

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• 22 Heather // Dec 31, 2008 at 12:26 pm

  Hi Dana! We have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 5 month old girl. Alot has happened lately, we had a baby 5 months ago and moved into a new house 3 months ago and also switched our son to a big boy bed when we moved. He was thrilled with it for the first 2-3 weeks (sleeping great) in the new house. Now he has started to want a movie before bed or for us to lay with him until he falls asleep. It has become a nightmare since we are now laying with him every night and he screams for the first 5-10 minutes because we make him stay there. Please help! Our infant goes to sleep like clockwork and it’s just getting to be very hard when we take him to bed around 8:30 and he won’t fall asleep until maybe 10:00! HELP!

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• 23 Monique // Dec 31, 2008 at 1:26 pm

  My son joshua is 2 years old and I am still breast feeding him to go down for a nap in the afternoon and when he wakes up he asks for the breast. He generally sleeps for about one and a half hours to 2 hours. Then in the evening when it is bed time which is between 9 and 9.30 he is breast feed to go to sleep and then still wakes up 3-5 times during the night. I have tried on numerous occassions and followed advice read books to try to stop breast feeding and for him to sleep through the night. And have failed every time, he protests and cries so much i just end up giving into him so this i really my last resort.
  I am interested in purchasing the sleep sense program, so basically what i want to know is will this program help my solve these issues

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• 24 shelly // Jan 1, 2009 at 11:30 am

  I have a question, my son is almost 10 months old. He falls asleep on mom or dad as soon as we put him in his crib, he wakes up crying. How can we get him to sleep through the night by himself. It is putting a strain on our relationship and we are both tired all the time too, so we don’t hardly get any alone time.

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• 25 Kristin // Jan 1, 2009 at 1:17 pm

  Hi Dana,

  My 2 1/2 yr old was falling asleep on his own after a routine of bath, books and milk. Just in the past few weeks he started climbing out of his crib. He would only do it in the morning around 7 am. I was okay with that since that was the time we get up anyways. Just this last week he has been doing it as soon as we put him to bed at 8pm. We would walk him back to his room and lay him down again and he would climb out again. He has asked us to sit with him while he falls asleep which my husband or I did a few times. He would fall asleep and we would try to leave but then he woke up and cried and came to our room when he realized we were not in his room anymore. This sometimes would happen at 3 am and we kept walking him back to his room and 2 minutes later he would be crying and back out of his room. It would go on until 6-7 am and by then we had to get ready for work and him ready for daycare so we all just got up. Well last night it started right after I put him to bed and refused to stay in his room. He got up and I would put him back with no emotion like I have read to do. We did this all night long. I think he may have gotten a hour of a sleep and me none. He would cry and throw a fit when I put him back. Sometimes he would say he had to go potty so I would take him. He is not really potty trained but I felt like since we are working on potty training I had to let him try. I have also tried sitting outside his room so that he knew I was close just to help support him if was scared that did not seam to make a difference. This went on all night long until 6am and then we had to get up for the day. I feel like since we got up, I gave into him in the end. I am out of ideas and feel like if this goes on, I will be out of my mind. Please help me

  If you can’t respond in the video question of the week, will you please email me privately. I feel like I am at my wits end.

  Thanks

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• 26 Lesya // Jan 2, 2009 at 4:19 pm

  Hi Dana
  My husband and I have practiced attachment parenting and although we are getting quite sleep deprived with Sophia waking up by 1 am and then 5 am, we tend to be too tired to try anything but lie down with her in her. (She has a crib she starts out in although she usually wakes up 2 or 3 times for water and then by 1 am she wants to snuggle in the bed we have set up next to her crib)

  Do you have any advice for parents who want to stay connected at night and practice attachment parenting?
  thanks

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• 27 Laura // Jan 2, 2009 at 4:27 pm

  My 10 month old can put himself to sleep at bedtime at 7:30 but he still wakes up at 3:30-4:00am for breastfeeding. I try and just shh him back to sleep but he is determine to feed. He sometimes wakes up at 2am but can put himself back to sleep.The doctor says he is at good weight and there is no reason for him to need a feed in the middle of the night. What should I do?

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• 28 Jenny Bates // Jan 2, 2009 at 4:42 pm

  Hi Dana,

  Your website is fantastic - thank you.
  I am worried about my 3 month old son. We follow the same bedtime routine each night - breastfeed, bath, massage but then I am unable to put him to bed without feeding him again and during this feed he always falls asleep but always takes both breasts (even if asleep after the first).
  Then because I know this is a recipe for disaster I then have to wake him up so that I am able to put him to bed awake. He generally sleeps for 12 hours with 2 feeds (although again he often falls asleep when feeding).

  However, in the day I am able to put him down for a nap without feeding.

  He is gaining weight well but I feel with this bedtime routine we may be setting ourselves up for future problems.

  I have no idea what to do and would be grateful for any advice.

  Many thanks,
  Jenny

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• 29 Rachel Hall // Jan 2, 2009 at 10:49 pm

  My son is 2 years and five months. He has a little sister who is almost 8 months. Suddenly he is refusing to nap. We know that he still needs the sleep because he is so tired and is acting out the later half of the day. Then he resists bedtime as well. It is worse that it has ever been. Is he reacting to his baby sister who is now getting more attention as she starts to crawl around? Is it the terrible twos? Is he just trying to assert his independence? But most of all, how do we deal with this and get him back on a sensible sleep schedule?

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• 30 gloria // Jan 3, 2009 at 12:40 pm

  i have a twin question, we have two boys that are 12wks old and have been sleeping in their car seats since day one.. the reason was becasue they do not enjoy the flatness of their crib.. i have their seats in the crib and have tried elevating the crib to give the incline feeling, still no luck. I have them done in their crib at nap time but they give me 30min at the most.. they love sleeping in their swing and bouncey seat.. i can get at least 2 hrs in for nap time.. i also just had on boy sleep 7hrs in his car seat last night, the other wakes evey 3-4hrs.. shoudl i wait to have them sleeping better thru the night b4 teaching them to sleep in the crib or will it be hardeer for me if i wait until that happens?

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• 31 Charisma // Jan 4, 2009 at 12:10 am

  Hi Dana,

  Charisma is still waking up during the night and I cant settle her without putting her into bed with us, still. could you update me with some help. please.

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• 32 Gena leveson // Jan 4, 2009 at 3:08 pm

  My 9 month old daughter has a habit of doing a poo every time I put her down for a sleep- both at naptimes and at night. Since starting your sleep programme- which has been hugely successful, this has become more and more common I would say 99% of the time. I followed the stay in the room approach which has meant ihave been able to change her quickly and put her back in her bed. This usually works at night but during the day she is taking longer and longer to do her poo and she then becomes overtired and takes a v long time to go to sleep. I have now been following your programme for a month but am still staying with her until she falls asleep so I can change her nappy . I am worried that this has become a strong asociation for her as this is the only time she poos. Do you have any suggestions? I have missed a couple of nap poos and she does go to sleep but wakes up after 45minutes. Thanks. Gena

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• 33 kylie // Jan 4, 2009 at 7:56 pm

  Hi i have a 23 month old girl and a 3 month old baby boy.My problem is our daughter wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and calling out for us, and we don’t know what to do anymore.She goes off too sleep on her own, takes her soft toys to bed with her, but even that is a mission sometimes as she keeps calling out for us. It’s getting pretty stressful now as it is affecting us all we are all sleep deprived.
  Can u please help?

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• 34 Michelle Gordon // Jan 4, 2009 at 9:16 pm

  I am the new mother of twin girls. They were born at 36 weeks and are now 5 weeks old today. When they came home from the hospital they were sleeping good at around 3 hours at a time and then we developed acid reflux and it went to an hour and now we are around only 2 hours at a time if that. We have medicine for the acid reflux but I think lying on there backs is contributing to there wakening so soon, how can we get them on a schedule and get them sleeping more through the night. My husband returns to work tomorrow and then me shortly behind him…..Please help!

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• 35 Trina // Jan 4, 2009 at 11:22 pm

  Hi Dana,
  What happens when a child who has been on doing great on the sleep sense program suddenly changes?
  My daughter is 22 months old and has been sleeping through the night since she was 10 weeks old. For several months her routine has been to have get in her pj’s, get her special blankie, sing songs, with mom or dad and go to bed. She goes to bed in her crib, awake and falls asleep. Her schedule has been to go to bed at 7:30 and wake around 7:00 Am. One nap at 12:30 until 2:00 or 2:30.
  For the past month she has been completely out of sorts. Some days she barely naps. Some days she cries for long periods at bed time. Some days she wakes at 5:00 AM crying and will not go back to sleep. For the past three nights she has cried EXTREMLY hard at bed time and has taken 2 hours to fall asleep. Today she cried off and on at nap time for 2 hours and never went to sleep. She has never slept in our bed, her routine is the same as always. I am at a complete loss and very worn out. Please help.
  Thank you,
  Trina

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• 36 Kirsty // Jan 5, 2009 at 7:31 am

  My 6 month old son, Luis, wakes 2 to 3 times a night for feeds. He is a “big for his age’ baby. Am I expecting too much for him to sleep through the night without feeds. He used to sleep for up to 7 hours when he first went to bed, then I started giving him a dream feed before I went to bed around 10 - 11pm. He now wakes expecting this feed, even if he’s only been asleep for 3 hours. We have just started him on solids, but he is still more interested in the breast.
  His daytime sleeps are usually between 30 and 45 mins. Bedtimes always start with a screaming match.

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• 37 Angela McEleny // Jan 5, 2009 at 9:02 am

  Hi My 9 month old daughter recently had a bad cold and we were up during the night several times and then brought her into our bed to get her back to sleep but when we put her back in her cot as soon as her head hit the mattress she would wake up kicking and crying until you picked her up again and then she would instantly be quiet. Since then we have stopped bringing her into bed with us since she is better now but is waking up 2 to 3 times in the night crying and standing up in her cot and she can’t get back over to sleep. She goes to bed at 6pm and is up at 5.30am every morning. Help any suggestions.

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• 38 LYNDI GORDON // Jan 5, 2009 at 10:48 am

  my 14 month old will not go to sleep without being cuddled. Sometimes for an hour before she will nod off!! I had her trained to fall asleep by herself at around 9 months. i dont know what happened. She also wakes up no less than 2 times EVERY night. I have tried the “control crying” to no avail. I am running out of ideas. Please help!!

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• 39 Anielka // Jan 5, 2009 at 1:59 pm

  Hello Dana,
  I have a 4 month old that I unwilling taught to sleep either listening to music while being carried or being nursed/bottle fed in my bed. When I carry her and she falls asleep I take her to her crib and as soon as her head hits the bed she wakes up until I carry her again or when she falls asleep in my bed while nursing I pick her up and take her to her crib and again she wakes up and cries until I nurse her to sleep again. I need to get her into her own crib and learn to sleep on her own without waking tru the night to feed. Please help.

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• 40 Kassie // Jan 5, 2009 at 3:10 pm

  Hi Dana,
  We have been using your program for a couple of weeks now and the kids are doing well (32 mos and 12 mos old). We have another baby on the way in 3 mos and I only have two rooms for the kids, so someone will have to share. Is it better for the older two to share a room or another combination?

  Thanks for your help,
  Kassie

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• 41 neima // Jan 6, 2009 at 4:07 am

  hi Dana
  I have a 10 months old daughter that i’m having to put her in bed. I tried a rooutine bed a soon as put her crib to sleep she star cring non stop and i find that naps are easier then bedtime, i turn a music it doesn’t help so pls i need big help. help me

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• 42 Heather // Jan 10, 2009 at 11:02 am

  Hi Dana. I have a daughter who will be 3 in a few weeks. We recently moved out of state and my daughter is having a horrible time with the transition. I’m 5 mos. pregnant and gave into her cries at night but now she wakes every 2 or 3 hours and wants me to lay with her for “a minute.” Before the move, she would go to sleep by herself and go back to sleep by herself. She says she dreams about monsters and that she is scared in her room. I’ve tried sitting outside her door while she goes to sleep and it takes about an hour or two. Then when she wakes, she wants me to sit outside her door again. I’m totally exhausted. Would it be too emotionally traumatic for her to make her cry it out?Sometimes she cries so long that she pukes and I can’t let her sleep in puke. Please help.

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