Click on the ‘Play’ button above to start video!
Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from Alice, who is sharing a room with her seven-month-old daughter. She writes:
“My seven-month-old daughter is breastfeeding and she wakes up four times during the night. Sometimes she is eating and she just sucks it in and falls back to sleep. She also falls asleep during feeding. How can I stop that? She does not like to take a bottle and she sleeps in the same room as us.”
It is okay that she does not take a bottle; it doesn’t matter. It does not make a baby sleep better if she takes bottles. You do need to look at though how she gets herself to sleep but it sounds like she definitely has a strong association between breastfeeding and sleep which is never good. She will just think she needs to eat all through the night and mainly to get herself back to sleep. The best way to start bed time is to make sure you have a nice routine set up, with a bath, brushing teeth, and a feeding.
I definitely suggest that people feed babies before bed because you do want to have them go through the night without food. If you are nursing though, you’ve got to keep her awake; don’t even let her start to fall asleep at the breast. You really want to break the connection that breastfeeding has anything to do with sleeping.
So as soon as you see heavy eyes or she looks like she is starting to fall asleep, poke her, tickle her, talk to her, take her off the breast and dance her around if you need to keep her awake through the feed. Some babies get a little bit agitated that you are not letting them fall asleep, especially if that is the way they are used to falling asleep, and she might just refuse to keep feeding. If you are going to keep waking her up she will probably just decide “Alright, I’m done with this thing.” and that is okay too. If she does not eat as much as she normally does for a night or two, it is going to be okay. At seven months old, as long she is of good healthy weight and has no problems with her health, there is really no reason why she needs to be eating in the night anyway. So start at bedtime, make sure she stays awake during that breastfeed and then goes into the crib awake.
You can even check on her or you can stay. You use key phrases like “It’s sleepy time now.” Or gentle touching might be enough, rub her back a little bit or stroke her cheek. There is nothing wrong with touching her as long as you do not actually allow her to fall asleep with your touch. You just want to be careful that when she learns this new skill of getting herself to sleep that you are not involving yourself in any way. You are there to be supportive and really nothing else. She needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own.
What you could do at first is keep a feed or two, if you do not think she is quite ready to go all night without a feed. You could keep one or two but make sure you do not nurse her back to sleep in the night either. Otherwise she will learn to put herself at sleep at bedtime but then she will think, yes, every time I wake up in the night my mom will just do it for me and I do not have to try.
Usually I find then that they just wake up through the night out of habit more than anything else. They want you to nurse them back to sleep and this just kind of goes on and on and on. So if you do keep a feed make sure she stays awake through the feed just like bed time. Poke her, tickle her, and talk to her and do whatever you need to do, to keep her with you through the feed. Do not let the feed linger and if she is not interested or if she is just using you by sucking, do not let her continue. She is then just using you as a pacifier. If she is not interested in eating then she goes right back to her crib.
That should really help get her skills she needs to sleep well and she should start sleeping right through the night. It might mean you are all up a little more because you are helping her get herself back to sleep and are encouraging it. It maybe it means you need to sleep out in the family room for a few nights until she gets the hang of it, but it’s only a few nights of being up a little more than you normally are, for a longer period of time. At least you are moving in the direction of change. At least you are moving in the right direction and it is all for a purpose of getting her to fall asleep on her own and learn how to do this.
Otherwise at this rate it, it can go on for another couple of months or another couple of years so it is definitely a change worth making, especially being the same room. She will get used to you being in the same room. She already is used to you being in the same room so she will get used to the noises that each of you make through the night and moving around.
So thanks for your question Alice, and sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
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80 responses so far ↓
1 Kimberly // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:16 am
My daughter Natalee is nine months old and forgive me for saying this she sleeps with me and has since she was six months old and suddendly became terrified of her crib. My husband and I have tried letting her “cry it out” but my little girl has gone as long as an hour and a half without any signs of slowing down to the point of making herself vomit. As a parent you must know how heartbreaking this is. I have tried this several times and I always get the same result. Natalee has the same routine every night. We eat, we get a bath and then we have down time. I do not rock her to sleep or use a bottle when we go to bed together she actually wiggles back and forth until she finally falls asleep and usually sleeps through the night except when she is teething. However, I know she shouldn’t be sleeping with us and I don’t know what to do at this point…..
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2 Laura // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:18 am
My 13 month old son can’t switch to fall back hour so he keeps waking up at 5:30 am instead of 6:30, regardless if I put him to bed around 7 pm or 8 pm. He is also in the process of swicthing from 2 naps to 1 a day (2-3 hours long).
Help?
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3 Michele Tuttle // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:19 am
My baby is 8 months old and is still waking up at least 3 times a night. I am not feeding him during the night. What should I do?
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4 cindy // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:26 am
My 2 1/2 year old is waking at 2:30 and going back to sleep until between 4 - 4:30 EVERY DAY!
I feel like we have tried everything to get him to sleep longer. He goes to bed around 6:30-7 each day so he is not getting enough sleep and neither are we. I NEED HELP! How do I re-set his internal clock .
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5 Amy Elder // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:32 am
My 18 month old will not sleep thru the night. She goes down fine for her nap and bedtime without my help, but then she wakes up at 4:00 and won’t go back to sleep on her own until she has a little bottle. I don’t give her a bottle to go to sleep for nap or bedtime. I want her to go back to sleep on her own but I don’t want her to cry either because we have a small house and my other two girls need their sleep for school and my husband needs his for work. My fourth child is coming in February please help because I don’t want to be getting up with two!
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6 David Reid // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:42 am
Each night when we put our daughter to bed she ends up crying sometimes for 10 minutes other times 30 minutes and that can vary too. What else can we do? We changed her sleep time which seems to work but it is the initial lying her down that is the problem.
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7 Melissa // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:51 am
At what age should my child be able to sleep ALL night without a feeding? I read a lot that reports on when babies should be able to “sleep through the night.” However, this is often defined as 6 or 7 hours. My 4 month old sleeps a total of 11 or 12 hours at night and I’m wondering when it is reasonable to expect that she will not want to eat at all during her night sleep. She currently eats one time at night.
Do you have any suggestions as to how to get her to drop that one night time feeding?
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8 Lucia // Dec 2, 2008 at 10:03 am
my question is more about a sleep crise I think its related to a milestone
my baby is 10,5 months and is a great sleeper until last week…
she is used to go to bed about 9pm and fall to sleep by her own, but this week she simply start to cry and cry when I get out of her room
sometimes she wakes in the middle of the night anda sarts to cry, I always wait 2 or 3 minutes before I get there and nost of the time she gets to sleep again by her own
teel me…what should I do whem I put her in bed and she starts to cry imediatly??
last night I layd with her about 10min trying to calm her and when she stoped crying I get out of the room (she is still awake anda started to cry again, but I went out I she stoped crying in about 1 min)
Is this the right strategy? what should I do so she dont lost her good sleep habits?
need help
tks
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9 Emma Metcalfe // Dec 2, 2008 at 10:25 am
Help Help Help!!! Jayden is still not sleeping throught the night, he wont even go to bed!! we have tries everything but he gets himself into such a state when you mention bed time its unreal, i am struggling to cope now as Jayden is in our bed every night from around midnight onwards and he is now 2! i feel like such a bad parent, what am i doing wrong! But i will add that daddy isn’t helping at all as he wont let me leave him if he upset, he undoes every process that i try to put into place, my relationship is really being affected by all of this as I feel that there is no point in me even being there half the time as daddy lets Jayden get away with everything and he only does what daddy says. Sorry to moan! i am desperate!
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10 Stacy Marlin // Dec 2, 2008 at 10:26 am
My 5 month old goes to sleep around 8 pm. I wake him around 10 to give him another feeding to try and get him through the night. He wakes up wanting the bottle around 2am and then sleeps until 6am. Should I continue with the 10pm feed, or let him sleep?
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11 Maire // Dec 2, 2008 at 10:26 am
Hi Dana,
My 4 month old started sleeping through the night a few weeks ago so we decided to unswaddle 2 nights ago and now he is waking up 1 - 3 times/night. I go to his crib, give him his pacifier and he goes back to sleep.. any other suggestions for us?
thanks!
Maire
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12 Elaine // Dec 2, 2008 at 10:37 am
Hi Dana,
My daughter is 11 weeks old (gestational age 9 weeks old) and has started to sleep through the night last week from 11.30pm to 7.30am. However for the past two days she has been waking up at 5.30am for a feed. I’ve tried to settle her without putting her on the breast and using a pacifier as well but she won’t have it. She genuinely seems hungry and fed for 15 - 20 minutes when I did put her to the breast.
How do I know if she is going through a growth spurt and need this 5.30am feed, or is she just using me for comfort to help her go back to sleep at this time? I’m concerned if I keep feeding her at 5.30am it will become a habit and don’t want to encourage or perpetuate it. She has learned to self-settle for naps and bedtime and has been going to bed awake for the last 3 weeks.
Elaine
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13 Suma // Dec 2, 2008 at 10:38 am
Hi,
I too have teh same problem with my 9month old son. He is used to falling asleep on my breast and doesnt let go easily. I appreciate your advice. However I have an additional issue. We are constantly on the move and dont have a crib for him. He sleeps with us (on teh ground). Hence its harder for me to just leave him there to fall asleep. He simply cries n gets up else goes off the bed.
Any pointers on how I can manage to get to him fall asleep on his own without a crib of his own?
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14 Rebecca // Dec 2, 2008 at 11:16 am
Since doing the program my 13 week old is now sleeping from 6:30pm to roughly 4-5am. The problem is his naps. He now sleeps only 20 minutes and wakes up screaming and is inconsolable. I have tried patting/shhhhing/stirring slightly - nothing gets him past the twenty minute mark. The days get longer as he doesn’t nap at all. HELP!
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15 MELISSA // Dec 2, 2008 at 11:32 am
hello my name is melissa and i have twin boys that are 13 mon old and they wake more than 7 times a nite. Aiden is always looking for his binky and can’t sleep with out it!! Hunter just wakes crying for no reason and will not go back to sleep!! I put them in their cribs at 8:30 every nite after their baths and they will fall asleep but wake all nite long and i just don’t know how to get them to sleep all nite PLEASE HELP ME !!!! I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. THANKS MELISSA
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16 Kellen // Dec 2, 2008 at 11:34 am
My daughter is 11 months old and she still wakes up atleast twice a night. I have tried everything. She falls asleep on her own fine and sometimes when she wakes she will soothe herself back to sleep, but at the 2am waking she can never soothe herself. She cries and cries. I still nurse her and I just started nursing her at the 11pm waking and trying to let her cry it out at the 2am waking. It has only worked maybe twice. When she nurses she never falls asleep. I put her in the crib wide awake. If I give in and feed her at 2am she always goes back into the crib fine and sleeps until morn. but I want her to sleep ALL night. What should we do?
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17 savita // Dec 2, 2008 at 11:37 am
hi, my son is 12months old , just finished. My worry is he still waking up in the night two/ three times to eat. I have been given him breat so far and he used to go asleep on his own. But now I have completed stopped breast feeding, giving him formula in the night two three times basically when he wakes up. How do I get hin in habit of not eating in the night as i beleive they don’t need food as such if they had good enough during day. Please advise.
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18 Lisa // Dec 2, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Hi Dana-
I appreciate your emails. I am having trouble trying to establish a routine for a 2 month old. Since we don’t give her a bath every night, what would be an example for a nighttime routine for her? She is feeding every three hours..trying to make it last longer but she is hungry usually around 3 hrs and she sleeps at the most 2 1/2-3 hrs at night. Plus did I mention, she is not even sleeping in her crib. She sleeps in a swing. Yes..lots of issues but my husband and I are desperate for sleep. And what I need to know, in your resources and books, do you have any help on 2 month olds?
Thank you for your time Dana.
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19 Ruth // Dec 2, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Hi -
My 10-month old daughter is breast-fed and settles herself to sleep fine for daytime naps and bedtime after her feed.
However, she still wakes in the night (1-3 times), she is often standing in her crib, I lie her down again with some quiet words and leave her again but after this she is regularly inconsolable - I broke the night feeding a month or so ago so know she is not hungry, but she cries and cries and will not settle again.
Any advice?
Thanks.
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20 Karen // Dec 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm
how long is too long to let my 9month old daughter cry? I breastfeed her to sleep everynight and would like to get out of this habit. we’ve tried to put her in her crib when she is tired but will cry for up to half an hour. i am getting desperate for her to put herself to sleep.she usually gets up 2x during the night so i end up bringing her in bed with us. help!!!
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21 Sharon // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I have done the things you have suggested in getting my 7 month old son to have good sleeping habits. He now sleeps through the night and takes two naps a day, putting himself to sleep for both all on his own. What a wonderful thing! If only I had known this stuff 5 kids ago! As of late though, I have run into a bit of a problem and am not sure what to do. He has not been feeling well the last week or so, and wakes up during the night a couple of times and takes shorter naps. I want to comfort him and hold him when I know he doesn’t feel well. Am I supposed to pick him up and hold him during the night? Then when he wakes up in the night, he acts hungry too. Do I feed him a bottle? I feel so bad just letting him cry and cry. What do you do when a child is sick and it messes up their good sleeping habits? I feel like I have ruined what I’ve done with his sleeping and now have to start over again.
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22 sue peters // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:14 pm
My grandson Alex is 2 years and will only sleep if in my daughters bed. My daughter has intensive study for her Phd in Pyschology and her partner also has a demanding job so they just find it easier to let Alex carry on as he is although they would like him to be in his bed.They have tried everything - have you any ideas as they are exhausted.
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23 Niki // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:15 pm
HI,
My 4 month old sleeps through the night thanks to your suggestion of having a routine every night. The problem is that she is very restless all night long and none of us sleep very well. She will scream and let out little cries every 30 - 45 minutes and then go back to sleep. Is there something we can do to help her sleep better?
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24 Usha // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:23 pm
My son Mason is just over 3 months old and is sleeping through the night from 11:30 p.m. to 6 or 7 a.m. in his crib. During the day I find he has a tough time sleeping in his crib so I let him fall asleep in the swing. My husband thinks it is okay for him to swing away for a couple of hours (sometimes more) but I don’t think we should let him swing this long. I don’t have a problem with him being in the swing during the day but I don’t think he should be swinging this long. What do you think?
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25 Danielle Hobbs // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:25 pm
My son Finley is nearly 16 months old. For the last few weeks he seems to have an alarm clock in his body waking him around 5am and he struggles to get back to sleep. He has been unwell a lot with chest infections, sick bugs, coughs etc so his sleep has been irratic and had his mmr jab around 3 weeks ago which I know can have a few side effects to it. When he wakes at 5am I pick him up for a cuddle but it does not work. I now give him few ounces of milk to try and settle him down (not sure if this is a good idea) been doing it mainly as he has really been off his food during the day, hardly eating so I am thinking he wakes due to being hungry. He tends to then go back to sleep for half hour or so but wakes up again and putting the dummy back in does not seem to work. Most of the time I have to get up with him and go downstairs. He used to sleep so well, just seems like since turning one and being ill too he can’t get back into sleeping through the night. Please help, broken sleep is having a bad effect on us all
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26 Tam // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:33 pm
My son has a similar problem to the one you described in your blog today. I’ve struggled with two problems with him…one, he wakes up 3-5 times in the night and has extreme difficulty going back to sleep without me providing him with some type of crutch (rocking or feeding). I am absolutely guilty of wanting a quick fix, especially when it’s 4 in the morning. My other problem though is that he’s really been reluctant to take a bottle and has just now started taking one 3 times a day…but I would say that on a good day he’s taking 10 ounces total throughout the day. Is that enough to expect him to be able to get through the night too? To top it all off, he’s learned how to roll in his crib and doesn’t like being on his tummy.
When should I start to take away the feedings in the night? He’s a healthy boy (19lbs.) I have been reluctant to do this because I feel like he truly is not getting enough nutrition during the day. (He is taking his solids really well).
Your suggestion of disassociating the breastfeeding with falling asleep is helpful. I will start there. But if you have any other advise it would be greatly appreciated. I’m very tired of needing to drink a pot of coffee to get through my day!!
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27 Elizabeth T // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Hi, Dana!
My exclusively breastfed 3 month old goes to bed at night without any problems and sleeps straight through 11-12 hours. However, naptimes are a completely different story! She will fall asleep on her own, only to wake after 30-60 minutes and scream until I get her up (sometimes up to 20-30 minutes). There is no settling her; I’ve tried your trick of going in and settling her as she is starting to stir, but that didn’t work for us.
We have a 3 hour schedule, but she usually seems a little hungry when she gets up, so I go ahead and nurse her earlier than scheduled (fighting to keep her awake throughout the feed). Since she’s obviously still tired, I put her back down for a nap, and we start the “routine” over again. I’ve tried keeping her up until the next scheduled nap, but she’s extremey fussy because she’s over-tired and finds it more difficult to fall asleep later.
How do I change her nap habits without messing up her fabulous night time sleeping routine?
Thanks, Elizabeth T.
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28 Klara // Dec 2, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I am trying to switch my 10-month old daughter to formula from breastfeeding as I do not have enough milk anymore and since she has teeth, she is biting me as well. She refuses to drink the formula, and will not fall asleep unless she can breastfeed. She goes to bed awake but if I do not let her breastfeed she will just keep crying. I have two questions: can I switch to regular milk since she does not want to drink the formula; and how can I get her off the breast without her screaming and getting very upset (to the point that she can not go to sleep).
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29 gail lesley // Dec 2, 2008 at 3:50 pm
My 7 month old has a great bedtime routine and goes down with no problems afte a bath bottle and cuddle. I must confess I HOLD HER TILL SHE FALLS ASLEEP SORRY!!!!. She wakes at 12 or 1 for a 3oz or 50z bottle which then takes her through to 5ish when I give her another which then takes her through to 7am. When do stop feeding her. She has 3 solid meals a day and 3 bottles throughout of 30z or 5oz. Im trying to be relaxed as she is obvoiusly hungry but im tierd and wonder if I could start changing anything as im back at work soon. She has one nap or two in the day total hours of 2 hours per day.
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30 Cas // Dec 2, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Dear Dana,
My daughter is 28 months old and she still uses a pacifier and will not fall asleep alone. I tried moving her into her own bed but now I have to stay in her bed with her until she falls asleep. Often times I will get up and go back to my bed until she wakes up crying at 3 am. But most nights I just fall asleep with her. Needless to say she tosses and turns all night so I never really get much rest.
Do you have any advice as to how I can wean her off of the pacifier and get her to put herself to sleep?
I am a working Mom who is sleep deprived and I have to do something before I go bonkers!
Signed Sleep Deprived Mom.
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31 Amy Berryman // Dec 2, 2008 at 4:11 pm
How can I get my 8 month old to go to sleep on his own and how can i tell if he spoiled?
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32 Elizabeth // Dec 2, 2008 at 4:27 pm
My 5.5 month old son, is able to put himself to sleep at bed time but not for naps. How can I get him to get him to fall alseep on his own for naps too?
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33 Joanne // Dec 2, 2008 at 4:32 pm
is there anything wrong with having a newborn sleep on your chest through the night?
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34 Stacey Paul // Dec 2, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Can your period interfer with your childs sleeping habbits? My daughter is 8 months old and when I put her down for a nap she puts herself to sleep. I leave the room, she has a bit of a chat to herself and she then falls asleep for about 1.5 hours. It seems when I have my period, she needs my help to fall asleep and she doesn’t like it when I leave the room. She gets so upset that I need to pick her up and hold her. As soon as she stops crying I put her back down in her cot, the crying starts up again, she climbs up, I put her back down and pat her on the back. This continues until eventually she falls asleep. After my period she goes back to her old routine.
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35 loula // Dec 2, 2008 at 5:34 pm
my little boy is 13months and in the day he will not sleep in his cot only nap in his pram but at night he will go down no problem in his cot. do know why? because i dont understand why? hope u can suggest anything thanks.
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36 Dawn // Dec 2, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Hello,
Like others above,Ihave a 9month old who is breastfed and falls asleep very easily at the brest with her last feed of the night (7.30pm)
She goes to sleep for her naps every morning and every afternoon by puting herself to sleep so I know she can do it. The problem is I have to strap her in her pram. When I put on a specific musical toy she recognises it and knows its nap time, and she will be sleeping within 5 minutes.
If instead I put her in her cot she stands up and plays. She wont stay lying down (hence having to strap her in her pram), I have tried to use the music toy to signal it is nap time, but after a few attempts with her resisting for up to 2 hours I have to give in so that she has sleep before the next meal.
If I put her down at night without feeding her to sleep we have the same “stand up and play” scene to deal with. She is so tired she cries hard and screams and just doesnt know what to do with herself.
How do we teach her to settle down and stay lying down in her cot to sleep?
Many thanks
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37 Suzanne // Dec 2, 2008 at 7:51 pm
My 22 month old little boy is in a big bed now (we thought that might help) but has always woken up in the middle of the night. He just gets up and comes into our room now and stands beside the bed until I pick him up and put him in the middle. He’s back to sleep within 2 minutes. My husband and I love it but I guess we all need to sleep through the night. To get him to sleep at night, we read books, he has some milk and I lay with him until he’s asleep (I guess thats the problem!!) but he just screams and gets out of the bed if I leave before he’s asleep. Is there any easy, gentle fix???
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38 rachel // Dec 2, 2008 at 8:26 pm
My almost 6 month old daughter, Ella is sleeping through the night. 7pm- 6:30am but is also very difficult at nap-time…especially the pm one. It is usually quite short and is then grumpy till bedtime. If I go to her she seems to continue fussing or crying and if I leave her the same thing. Ideas or will she just start sleeping by herself?
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39 Lisa // Dec 2, 2008 at 10:11 pm
My 7th month old sleeps and naps fine at home. (Asleep 7/7:30pm, up 6:30/7am, two 1.5 to 2 hour naps, and possibly a 45 min nap around 3.) However, he has to go to daycare 5 days a week (at a center, not a family home). There he naps horribly 45 minutes here, up for 5 hours there, I am thrilled when he sleeps at least once for 1.5 hours. Luckily it hasn’t impacted his night time sleep, but he has to sleep for at least 45 minutes - or more - sometime between 4 and 6 just to make it through to 7 and it cuts into what little time we get to spend with him during the week. Any suggestions on how to work with the daycare center to improve his napping? (The babies all sleep in the same room they eat and play in.)
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40 Jenny // Dec 2, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Hi,
My 4 month old daughter, has 2 naps during the day and only for half an hour each. Her last nap is 4 o’clock until 4:30. I give her, her last bottle at 7:30pm and she is down by 8pm every night. We have the same routine every night. Once she is in her crib she sleeps well for a few hours but wakes frequently during the night for her soother. Sometimes she just stays wide awake at 3am. I have tried to let her cry it out and it doesn’t work. She doesn’t want to eat I have tried.What can I do to get her to sleep right through without waking up?
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41 Asha // Dec 3, 2008 at 1:40 am
My baby, Naomi, who is now 21 months old still won’t fall asleep bgy herself. Someone has to sit in her room until she falls asleep in her crib. She goes to bed at 9:00 and sleeps until 8:30 the following morning. I would like for her to just fall asleep by herself in her crib without someone anyone’s presence in her room. What should we do?
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42 Rose Scully // Dec 3, 2008 at 3:25 am
Hello Mrs. Obleman My name is Rose and I have a son his name is Ian and he is going to be 1yr old on December 5th, He is still having trouble sleeping throught the night, he wakes up about 3-4 times during the night, he goes to bed around 8-8:30pm everynight. He sometimes gives me a hard time but he ends up falling asleep, my concern is that during the day he doesn’t really wants to take naps he does maybe once a day and sometimes is an hour or less but never more than an hour. So my question is what do I do to get him to sleep through the night and take naps during the day?
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43 sam lewis // Dec 3, 2008 at 4:08 am
hi,
my daughter nina is 10 months old. As of four days ago she was sleeping fron 7pm until 6.30am. However she has now started waking at 5.30am and will not settle back to sleep. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t want to give her a bottle as it will turn into a bad habit. Could it be the vhange from anti reflux thickened formula to normal making her wake eary as this is the onlt thing that has changed in teh last week?
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44 chaitanya // Dec 3, 2008 at 4:24 am
my18months old son,rushil is now started sleeping through the night but he wont sleep is his crib,and when he wakes up in the early morning in between 4to 6am he calls me mummy mummy and searchs for me when i go near to him he automatically fall asleep.and one more thing in between the sleep he speaks some words like car,cat ,apple so on is this a bad habit iam concerned plz help me
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45 Amy // Dec 3, 2008 at 4:58 am
My 8 month year old son has never been slept through the night, I will be returning to work in January and im dreading being exhausted and not functioning properly through lack of sleep. He had colic for the first 3 months and we used to rock him or feed him to sleep. He sleeps in his own room. We have a bath, story and bottle routine everynight, his last bottle is at 7pm and 9 times out of 10 he is asleep by quarter past but falls asleep whilst feeding, he then wakes between 2 and 3 for a feed he takes a good 7 oz drinks all of it and then returns back to sleep, if he wakes at 2 then he is wide awake at 5am if he feeds at 3 normally awake at 6am. He is a big boy and is having an 8oz bottle at 7am solids at 8am lunch at 11.30/12, bottle at 3.00, soldis at 5pm and then bottle at 7pm. Beacuse i have always rocked him to sleep in the day dor naps he either sleeps in a rocking chair, car or pushchair, he only naps for 30 mins at a time and he one in the morning, one at lunch time and one in the afternoon. Is he waking out of habit?, do i go cold turkey or reduce the amount of feed over a period of time at night, how do i teach him to get himself to sleep.
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46 Ami // Dec 3, 2008 at 5:52 am
my 11months doughter khushi still awakes 3 times during night and ask for bottle or dummy . she goes to bed around 9pm after proper food .i dont give bottle at that time.but she first awake at 10.30 .now i dont want to give her eighter a bottle or dummy and i wants to stop awaking during the night. what should i have to do…. pleasr advise me..
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47 Aayman // Dec 3, 2008 at 7:41 am
my son is 15 months old still breast feeding wakes up 5 to 6 times at night and sleeps for only 15 to 20 mints in day time i want to stop breast feed any suggestions plz help
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48 Aube // Dec 3, 2008 at 11:19 am
My 8 1/2 month old used to sleep great, all through the night until around 8 months old- she is also teething her 4 top teeth but they have all came in now and she still won’t sleep. Through the teething we somehow got into the habit of rocking her to sleep with a bottle at night… not intentionally it just seemed she fell asleep, then we would just put her down. The past 2 days I’ve tried laying her down awake and its like she has completely forgotten how to fall asleep on her own. She can pull up now so she pulls up at the crib and just cries until I come back in and lay her down again. After 3 or 4 times of this she eventually falls asleep, but only to wake up 2-3 times during the night… and takes forever (usually 30 min.-1 hour) to fall back asleep. HELP ME PLEASE!!! She used to be such a great sleeper!
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49 Rebekah // Dec 3, 2008 at 12:18 pm
my daughter is 10.5 months and has just learned to put herself to sleep at night in her crib where she has slept since she was born, She doesn’t take a whole lot of formula during the day and will often wake up at least twice every night, when she wakes at night, I try to rock her back to sleep without a bottle, that works 20% of the time, she normally takes at least 3 ounces and will then go back to sleep, any suggestions?
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50 Burcin Kocabas // Dec 3, 2008 at 12:50 pm
My seven month old daughter started using pacifier as a tool to fall asleep. She started doing this after fifth month. She wakes up at least 5 times waiting for us to put the pacifier back in. What should I do about it?
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51 Mel // Dec 3, 2008 at 4:56 pm
My daughter is 12 months old, and was a great sleeper up until 10 months when she became mobile. Most nights she would sleep thru the night and if she woke up would put herself back to sleep. She goes to sleep on her own at bedtime and for her naps, but will wake several times a night sitting up in her cot screaming. This has been happening for the last 2 months. She will not lie back down to go back to sleep. We have to go in and re-position her to lay her down and she will then self settle back to sleep, this can happen up to 5 times a night. She already self settles at bedtime, but how do we get her to also self settle throughout the night without needing us to re-position her back to sleep? We have tried extending the time before going into her, but she just keeps on screaming and sobbing until we come in to settle her. Can you please help us?
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52 Jaqui // Dec 3, 2008 at 5:19 pm
My daughter Hailey will be 10mnths on Dec. 11th. She has finaly learned to fall asleep on her own but she still gets up a few times a night to feed. I do not feed her to sleep at initial sleep. Her crib is in our room and it makes it very difficult whe she gets up in the middle of the night. She gets up, stares at us and screams. We have both tried to hush her back to sleep, pat her back to sleep ect…. The only thing that works is feeding. I breastfeed so I am exhausted. Please help me, I need sleep.
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53 Barbara Rossini // Dec 3, 2008 at 5:36 pm
My son, Anthony, goes to bed in his crib usually by 8:45 pm, 9 pm the latest. He cries for maybe 5 mins, but that’s it (He is at the very tired stage, but still awake). He will then wake up anywhere between 2 to 4 am (it depends) and he will cry for nearly an hr (sometimes more) and then falls back to sleep (we let him cry it out). How can I get him to STAY asleep the whole night through until 7 am (time he wakes up for the day). We have a bed time routine and like I said has no problem being put down to sleep. Thanks in advance.
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54 Sophie // Dec 3, 2008 at 8:08 pm
My 9 month old son, Nathaniel, is terrified of being left on his own and I have no idea why but it means he won’t go in his own room if he wakes up even for a moment and cant see me he makes himself hysterical. I’ve never left him on his own and it’s getting to the point where he screams if I leave him in a room with anyone else I really dont know what to do but if he doesnt go in his own room soon I’m worried we will have real problems, please help!
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55 Angie // Dec 4, 2008 at 12:39 am
My 22 month old son still goes to bed with a bottle, but I put him to bed when he’s wide awake and he gets himself to sleep just fine. But he does HAVE to have his binky, too, so he’ll wake up atleast once a night crying and I’ll go in there and he’ll say “where is it?”, and that means he wants his binky…then I’ll give it to him and he’ll go back to sleep just fine. And I also have to have a noise maker on for him to go to sleep, and at nap time, too.
I sleep trained him where you don’t go into the room at all, and it seemed to work ok, but it was really sad, I think I cried as hard as he did…is that why he still wakes up at night? I guess I have a few problems, what should I do?
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56 Sara // Dec 4, 2008 at 12:50 am
My 10 month old son Quentin was doing great with sleeping. He would go to sleep about 8:30pm and stay asleep until about 7:30-8:00am. He was doing this everyday for a few months but just recently, I’ve been having some problems putting him to sleep. Before he would go to sleep in about 10 minutes, but sometimes now, he’ll cry and cry and wont go to sleep. I’ve noticed too that just recently, he is a very light sleeper. The tiniest peep will wake him up and then I can’t get him to go back to sleep. What can I do to help him to fall asleep easier and not wake up so easily?
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57 Emma // Dec 4, 2008 at 3:30 am
My 13month old boy still wakes at night and stands in his cot crying waiting to be put back down. We have got into the habit of giving him a dummy when he does this. We don’t ever give him a dummy to go to sleep with but only after he wakes and stands up. How can we help to teach him to put himself back down to sleep?
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58 Héléna // Dec 4, 2008 at 4:56 am
hi
my baby is 10 months old,
she doesn’t sleep during the day with me around, wakes up at night. I have been trying a lot of different techniques, which don’t work and involve a lot of crying. She would fall asleep when I am not here (working parttime) only. Looks like she doesn’t want to miss out. But how can I reassure her?
thanx a lot
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59 Lucy // Dec 4, 2008 at 9:04 am
My baby daughter Christobel is now 21 weeks old and still has a very sensitive and often sore tummy after her intial colicky start to life, this has made it impossible for me to leave her crying at all. She had been sleeping in her cot but now is in my bed,(afet a bad cold for 2 weeks) feeding to sleep then waking betwenn 1 and 3 times a night to have a nuzzle to get back to sleep, she will only sleep in her pram in the day, cries in the car 2 out of 3 journeys and I just can’t get her into her cot. I feel it is too young to do controlled crying and often she has trapped air that wakes her. She does now sleep for 1-2hrs after waking in the morning in her pram outside! sometimes a nap in the car or in my arms at teatime. I have tries putting her to bed early, late but nothing seems to work. She definitley needs her 2 -2 half hours sleep in the day but only manages about 8-9 total at night. It seems impossible to get her into her cot at all at any time without her screaming into a state of panic and upset. I try picking up and putting dowm again but nothing placates her apart from the breast, please advise, thank You.
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60 karen mcwilliam // Dec 4, 2008 at 5:37 pm
my baby is one month old and while i know i don’t expect him to sleep longer than 3-5 hours at a time, i want to set the stage for good sleep habits now for the future. we co-sleep and he breastfeeds. what are your suggestions?
thanks!
karen
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61 Suzanne // Dec 4, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Dana,
My baby Cooper is 8 months old and has started having difficulty with going to sleep on his own. He was doing well but lately he cries and cries if I leave his room for naps or bedtime and I have to sing to him to get him to sleep (I do not pick him up.) He is taking very short naps now too, 45 minutes to an hour 2 times a day. He wakes up 1-2 times a night. I know he is not getting enough sleep. How could he go from going to sleep on his own, sleeping all night, and taking good naps to what he is doing now? I don’t know how to fix it. I have two other children also and it is difficult to let him cry it out in the middle of the night. Thanks so much.
Suzanne
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62 Sukhbir // Dec 4, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Hi, this is sukhbir. my daughter is ten month old and she still wakes up two or three time night. when i put her on my breast she keep sucking and sucking and dos’nt leave untill she fall asleep. i try to cut it off but she start crying and crying. becouse her father has to go work early morning so i have to give feed untill she sleep. but i feel very tired , i have to wake up for one or half an hour then i can’t go back to sleep for another one hour. and mostly she sleep after nine o clock. some time 10′o clock. please help me ahnd tell me what else should i try. waiting for your suggestion. thanking you sukhbir.
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63 Mina // Dec 5, 2008 at 1:26 am
Hi, (HELP I am in a “danger zone”).
My daughter Barka is 21 months now! She never really slept consistently through the night. I think we tried everything possible. We EVEN let her cry. She can cry for up to 2 hours (but we would check on her every 15 or 20 minutes and keep an eye on her with the video monitor). I even hired a sleep specialist. I was told that I was doing everything right but… Nothing has really worked!:
-her sleep environment is healthy, good
- She has a routine.
- I don’t nurse her until she falls asleep (yes I still nurse her because I want to)
-I focus on training her to fall asleep by herself at 7:30 ish pm
- Once she falls asleep (up to 3 hours later) and she wakes up at around midnight and or 2 am I nurse her and put her back to sleep (and again 2 hours later, etc…) but sometimes she won’t let go of my breast at night (I do so in order for her and I to sleep at night otherwise she would not sleep for hours and we end up all exhausted in the house (sleeping very late and struggling to sleep at night). My aim was to teach her to fall asleep by herself. Once she does that then I can focus and it is easier on helping her during the night wakening.
-I got help from my nanny and for almost a month she was training her (as per my instructions (unfortunately I found out they were not followed to the letter) BUT there were some progress and Barka although she fought to go to sleep she would sleep through the night (until 5:30 - 6am, sometime 7:30)
when I take over and I do the same things she starts waking up again at night. So back to square one. I can’t have my nanny do the job “for ever” and my husband works hard so I do not want him to help too much either.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT TO DO I AM EXHAUSTED!!!
THX A LOT
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64 sonia // Dec 5, 2008 at 11:10 am
Hi Danna…
my daughter Ellena is now 3 months old, she was on my breast for about a month and then i changed to formula i stil have trouble finding her the best formula because she keeps getting conctipated and dont poo properly though she sleeps well at night always have from the day shes been born , but the problem is she doesn’t have a routine until now shes awake till late at night till about 12/ 1/1.30 am and i know that shes suppose to be sleeping from almost 7/8 pm and also as soon as she wakes in the afternoon obvisouly because she sleeps so late so she wakes up late she does not go back to a long restful nao through out the day untill its bed time again at about 12/1 am as i mentioned before… please help me out it worries me alottttttttttttttt……..
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65 Louise Chatterton // Dec 5, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Common thinking seems to be that you must help your baby get themselves to sleep.
How do you actually do this?
I understand that you need to gently wake then before you set them down, but inevitably they then start crying and the whole process then has to start again ….
I can leave my 2 month old to cry for 5 mins max but then i go in and rock him to sleep in my arms (he’s getting heavy!) and put him down.
The thought of waking him before I put him down again seems like insanity! Is it a question of repetition?
Many thanks
Louise
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66 Lisa Marie // Dec 5, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Hello my daughter Elizabeth is 15 months and was premature so has had some allergy and breathing problems. She has to have a breathing treatment before bed every night and this puts her to sleep. Everything you ever write on your blog states to put them into the crib while still awake so when they wake during the night they can put themselves back to sleep. Elizabeth falls asleep every night at 7:30 and use to sleep til 5:30 every morning without waking up once. Lately she has been waking up 2-3 times and can’t put herself back to sleep. I cant not give her the breathing treatment so what else can I do? Also I have tried to push bedtime to 8-830 to see if she would at least sleep til 6-630 but she seems to sleep worse if I don’t put her to bed at 730?? Thanks for your time and any suggestions would be great
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67 farah jandali // Dec 6, 2008 at 10:57 pm
hi dana , my son salim is 7 months old ,he was only on my breast but now i changed to formula to sleep more at the night but he still wakes up twice time for feeding what should i do, by the way he goes to sleep at 8 ????????? it`s ok or????????? plez send to me & thanks
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68 Soshanna // Dec 7, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Hi
I would like to try sleep training my 2 months old but have a problem I am not sure how to deal with, we all share a room and my toddler is a very light sleeper with sleep issues of her own. What do you suggest?
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69 CATHERINE // Dec 7, 2008 at 5:51 pm
hi, my son myles, 9 months, can settle himself initally to sleep…he has breastfeed abt 645 and goes down at 7-715 however after abt 20 to 30 mins he wakes and just screams..i have tried both leaving him for timed periods and the staying with him in the room tactics..all that seems to settle him is him gripping my hand to his face, i really dont want to keep this up, cause i dont want that to become the norm for him to get to sleep.
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70 sarah // Dec 7, 2008 at 7:17 pm
I have a 7 week old baby who was 5 weeks premature. She is fine during the day sleeping for up to 4hours between feeds from bottle. At night after her feed she struggles to go back to sleep,she closes her eyes but then within a couple of mins she is awake again and crying and won’t settle,she senses she wants more food. How can we get her to fall asleep after her night feeds,sometimes she can be awake for several hours in the night. Please help.
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71 Andrea // Dec 8, 2008 at 9:19 am
My 7 month old son is on a crazy schedule. His dad works at night and I drive him to and from work. So my son has gotten into the same schedule. He doesn’t go to bed till 4 or 5am then doesn’t wake till 1 or 2pm sometimes even 3 or 4pm. He takes 2 or 3 hour long naps a day also. How do I get him back on a normal day schedule? Or is it impossible since he is being woken to drive with me to pick up his dad? Please help.
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72 Meghann // Dec 8, 2008 at 11:51 am
My daughter is about 10 days away from being 6 months old. She normally sleeps all night until last week. It started where she was getting up around 4:30-5:30 a.m. Now she is waking up every 2-3 hours. I haven’t changed anything about how she goes to sleep. Can you please help me get my sleep back?
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73 Lynel // Dec 8, 2008 at 10:42 pm
My son Tyler is 4 months old and weighs 15lbs and I also have a 2 year old daughter. The problem is I have slept my son in a bassinet in the dining room since birth for fear of my daughter disturbing him due to her incessant talking (approx 45 min ) once she is put in her room for bed. Tyler hasn’t slept in his crib in her room once, and only sleeps for approximately 3 hour intervals in the bassinet, please offer suggestion on how to get him to sleep well laying flat in the bassinet and or crib. Tyler will sleep for long periods of time in the swing , I am also breastfeeding if that makes a difference. Please help I am working and exhausted.
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74 Leah // Dec 9, 2008 at 11:11 am
Hi, my son Matthew is 2 yrs. old. From the time he was born to now he has been very overactive in his wake as well as his sleep. I have a problem trying to get him to be at a decent time. I put him in the bed at 8 pm. and and he gets up and I put him back as many times as it takes. However, I find that no matter how many times I put him back he is still up and awake at least till10 or 11 pm. When he does fall asleep, he is always tossing and turning and crawling around the bed in his sleep. He also depends on a pacifier to sleep and when that falls out of his mouth is gets up and I have to be looking for it. How do I break him off the pacifier (he has been on it since the night he was born) and get him in his own bed at a decent time? Help Please!!!!!!
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75 Jamie // Dec 31, 2008 at 4:09 pm
My son is 16 months old. He has slept through the night only once. We have read many books and most talk about the sleep routine when we put him to bed, however this seems to be fine for us. He has a routine of nursing, a book, cuddles with his big brother (in that order) and into his crib fully awake around 7:30 with nothing but his blanket. He does not cry at all and goes to sleep on his own. Then he sleeps soundly for about 4 - 5 hours then wakes crying and wants to nurse. This continues hourly or more through the rest of the night! Even after nursing he is restless and seems to have trouble getting to sleep. We are trying a chiropractor due to him having fluid in his ears but no improvment in sleep
We have two other children who are and always were great sleepers. We are at a loss with this one! Help!!
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76 Lisa // Jan 4, 2009 at 12:26 am
My son is nearly 7 months old and he is still waking up atleast 3 or 4 times a night and on every occasion he crys until he is nursed back to sleep. I’m so tired and just don’t know what to do. He also isn’t taking solids very well, only about 4 teaspoons a day and I’ve been told that it isn’t enough for his age. Please if you could give me some advice that would be great. Help!!!
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77 Sam Montoya-Jones // Jan 4, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I have a 6 month old who has never slept through the night yet. I breastfeed him and am trying to get him on the bottle (but he is not that interested - he will somtimes take the bottle but not very often). He wakes up during the night and will scream for nearly 2 hours (even with my husband and I going in to try and pacify him) and will not go back to sleep until I breastfeed him. He has been quite poorly lately and coughs and chokes through the night so I have taken him in to my bed. He wakes 2 or 3 times during the night and will not go back to sleep until he has a feed.
Also he does not really have any naps during the day unless we go out in the car or the buggy - I try puttin him down during the day but he just screams. Do I have a child that has insomnia or am I doing something wrong? Help - from a mother who now needs a full nights sleep.
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78 Kimberly // Jan 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm
We have been trying a no-cry solution with my 13 month old son for months! He was doing great, sleeping in his own crib until 6 months, then started teething and waking up 5 times or so a night, when this happened, I brought him in bed with me so I could get some sleep. He has been waking 4-6 times a night ever sense. At around 10 months, we tried the cry it out method a couple of times, but it was terrible, and he never even came close to calming down. I never let him go past a half an hour though. I want to say here, I don’t give into tantrums during the day, but these crys are different - he sounds scared. No matter how deeply asleep he is, when he realizes he is in his crib, he screams in fear. I was able to night wean him but still use bottles 1-2 times per night to get him back to sleep. I gradually 1) night weanded. 2) moved him to a mattress on the floor, 3) moved him into a toddler bed in his room sorrourned with pillows so I could rub his back. and get him back to sleep. I think we’ve made some progress, but he still wakes up 5 times or so a night. Sometimes, if I am right there he really tries to fall back asleep on his own, but if I get up to go to the bathroom, he wakes up and cries. I’ll put the crib rail back on tonight for safety, because I think we are going to try to let him cry again. I am really heartbroken.
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79 Caroline // Jan 10, 2009 at 8:16 am
I am keen to find out how to drop a very stubborn 7 month old’s 5am feed.
He self settles and will sleep for around 2 hours after the 5am feed. But even though I want him to start his day at 7am he is then usually not hungry enough to eat until 8am or so.
I have tried twice to get him to drop it simply by ignoring him when he wakes up so he cries himself back to sleep. We did pretty good by day 3 when he slept until 6.30am, but then on day 4 he screamed hysterically, I gave in and we went back to square one.
Any suggestions would be great.
Thank you
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80 sehrish // May 12, 2009 at 3:57 am
my daughter is going to be 4 months old after 2 days she sleeps from10:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. and wakes up twice in between. i feed her 5 to 10 minutes and she falls asleep again i believe this is because i feed her as many times as she demands in the day time so she feels not much hunger during night.
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