70 responses so far ↓

• 1 Tracey // Jun 16, 2009 at 7:57 am

  Hi Dana,
  This is my dilema. I have two sons, Tom turns 7 at the end of the month and Jake is 21 months. I have always had to stay with Tom till he goes to sleep as he would vomit within seconds of leaving him. I used to lay in the cot with him until we both didnt fit anymore, so he was in a bed at 17 months. Jake come along when Tom was 5, but now he is the same. I dont get in with him but I do have to sit between them until they go to sleep. The boys share a bedroom as we are in a 2 bed house. Once Tom is asleep he usually sleeps all night. Jake usually ends up in bed with us at 2:30am or 4am, some times he sleeps right through. (Jake is still in a cot and has a dummy, they both have bears and there is plenty of light from the hallway, also I have just ordered 2 new fancy night lights, just waiting for them to arrive). Would love to hear from you if you think you can help.
  Kind regards, Tracey.

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• 2 Erin // Jun 16, 2009 at 12:02 pm

  Funny..whenever I see pictures of Suri or Gwen Stefani’s oldest child, I think the same thing..”Why do they still have a bottle?? They are both 3 years old!”

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• 3 Kelly // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:00 pm

  I have an 8-month-old daughter, Fallyn. She usually naps twice a day for about 1.5 hours. Starting at 7PM, I will give her a massage with bedtime lotion and give her a bottle and put her down awake by 7:30PM. She will go to sleep by herself, but will wake up around 8:15PM screaming/crying. I will wait to see if she will go back to sleep for a few minutes, but she doesn’t. I have to go in there, and most of the time, pick her up to get her to calm down. I will try to put her back down but she will continue to scream/cry. She will then try to stay awake until around 9:30PM and I will put her down awake and she will go back to sleep, by herself again and stay asleep until the next morning around 6AM.

  How can I stop her from taking that “little 45 minute nap” before actually going to bed and staying down?

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• 4 Kelly // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:11 pm

  Dana,
  We completed your program with Sylvie when she was about 6 months old. We developed a calm, soothing bedtime routine which consists of a tub, a nice story, some rocking, a few songs and putting her to bed in her crib (awake!) with her lovey and her special blanket. For the past year or so she has been happy to drift off to sleep by herself, saying “night night” as my husband or I walk out the door to her room. It has been wonderful.
  But lately, everything has changed! My now 19-month old is testing limits all the time, which I realize is perfectly developmentally appropriate. However, bedtimes have become terrible. We continue to do the same routine and put her to bed with her lovey and blanket, but she is no longer happy about it AT ALL! She screams at the top of her lungs and repeatedly bangs the back of her head into the solid wall of her crib. The pain makes her scream even louder. I am terrified that she is going to give herself a concussion or knock herself unconscious! A few times I have gone back into her room and tried to soothe her, but it just makes her angrier and intensifies the thrashing and head banging. She does the same at nap time — she takes one 2 to 2.5-hour nap in the early afternoon.
  I thought that perhaps she needed a later bedtime now, but that didn’t seem to work. I know she is tired, but is she just resisting sleep the way she is resisting everything else, just to test the limits? Should I let her continue to bang her head? The only way I can get her to not do it is to get her completely asleep before putting her in her crib and I don’t want to start that trend.
  Any advice (please!)?
  Thank you,
  Kelly

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• 5 Noelle // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm

  I feel like I haven’t TRULY slept in over 3 years! I started out as a single mom with my first daughter. Because it was just her and I, I created a bad habit by letting her sleep in my bed most of the night. I always started her out in her own bed, but she’d inevitably wake up and I’d give in to let her sleep with me. I am now married and have just had another baby. She is 3 weeks old, and sleeps like a typical newborn, but now that my older one has to stay in her own bed, she wakes up about 3 or 4 times a night and WILL NOT go back to sleep unless someone (me) lays with her. It’s very hard to cope with the newborn schedule, when my 3 year old still wakes up all night as well. My husband and I end up playing “musical beds” we call it, going back and forth between children all night long. We are running on empty. Please help me figure out a way to keep my 3 year old from waking up all night without someone next to her.

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• 6 Crystal Hotchkin // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:16 pm

  Hello Dana,
  I need a little assistance with my 5 month old soon to be 6 months on the 9th of July. I co-sleep with her and she wants to nurse constantly when sleeping…. I have decided to transition her to her crib but I don’t really know how… Now, when I put her in the crib she sleeps fine for about three hours but then wakes and needs to be nursed back to sleep and won’t sleep in her crib at all after the first three hours. Can you help? Where do I start?

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• 7 Amy McCutcheon // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:17 pm

  My Jesse is 14 months old and has been sleeping on his own since he was a few months old. I started putting him to bed in his early stages before he was asleep and he has went to sleep on his own ever since. He might get up every now and then when he’s teething or has an ear infection, but now, a few weeks ago when he had a major ear infection, he refuses to let me put him down in his bed before he is asleep. I was so spoiled being able to put him down and actually have me time before I went to bed and now I don’t know what to do. I have tried to stay with him by his crib and he still refuses to lay down. Can you give me any pointers on how to get my nights back? Thanks, Amy

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• 8 Adelle // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:21 pm

  I have a 2 year old son who still drinks milk from a bottle, he has one bottle in the morning and one in the evening. He never goes to sleep with a bottle and never wakes up in the night asking for one. He also has no problem using a sippy or regular cup to drink water, juice or even milk. And he eats plently of food so the milk isnt replacing any meals. It seems perfectly fine to me that he asks for a bottle, he is very happy to sit on my lap and look up at me while he drinks his bottle. I just dont see any reason to take that away untill he’s ready to give it up. If your child is healthy, happy, and sleeping well, then lets not try to fix a problem thats not even there!

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• 9 Paige Hone // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:23 pm

  Loved the video. My question is this: My baby (4 months) goes to bed with a bottle every night. It’s part of our “routine” for his bed time. Bath, baby massage, eat and sleep. So how/when do I start changing his bedtime routine so it doesn’t involve a bottle of milk so he doesn’t get attached to it like the Cruise baby?

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• 10 Eileen // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:27 pm

  Dana, thank you, I couldn’t agree more with your bottle theory. Recently, my mother and I go into a debate over this very same issue. I feel that my son, 13 months old, no longer needs his bottles, so I gave them all away. And of course my mother thinks I’m being totally ridiculous. I can’t say why I made that decision; it just felt like the right thing to do. I’m a first time mom so I have nothing to base this theory on, but it just bugs me when I see a two or three year old with a pacifier in their mouth or their still walking around with a bottle in their hand.

  Thank you for confirming my instincts, I can’t wait to show my mother your blog entry!

  p.s. – my son didn’t even notice the transition. Tho, it’s not like we just went from bottles to sippy cups over night, we started introducing him to a sippy cup at around six months which made the transition easy.

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• 11 Lindsey // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:38 pm

  What do you think about finger sucking? My son sucks his two fingers (index & middle) for self-soothing. He sleeps like a champ; always has since I sleep trained him at 4 months using a method similar to yours. He self-soothes during the day as needed and to get to sleep. The dentist says I should start trying to get him to stop by around 4 (he’s almost 3 now), due to bite issues. I will try, but I honestly see nothing wrong with a child self-soothing and am glad he discovered his fingers. Once he did, he had no more use for a paci.

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• 12 jen // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:39 pm

  Hi Dana -
  I agree about older kids and bottles. But what advice do you give for a parent of a 15 month old? On the weekends my 15 month old has an early am bottle and a before bed bottle. How do I transition him out? Put water in the bottle? Sippy cup instead and just deal with the screaming for a few days and nights?

  Also - during the week at daycare, they still give him 2 day time bottles! Do I just stop sending him with bottles and tell them to deal with it?

  Please help with this bottle issue.

  Also - will your sleep system help with an early riser? My son goes in his crib while awake and sleeps through the night, but I can’t get him to sleep past 5 am (he goes to bed around 7 pm).

  Thanks!

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• 13 Alicia // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:53 pm

  At what age is it appropriate to introduce a ‘lovey’? I have a 3 month old…and she seems a little young as she grabs it but then gets upset if she gets it up to her face and can’t get rid of it (it’s a very small, soft blankie).

  Thanks!

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• 14 Lianne // Jun 16, 2009 at 2:05 pm

  I have always struggled with Sebastian’s sleep. He is 18 months old, and despite trying many strategies to encourage independent sleep, I always end up reverting to breastfeeding and re-breastfeeding him to sleep. I feel this is the least traumatic approach for both of us but it is tiring. I would obviously love to sleep through the night but don’t want to let him cry himself to sleep because I know I cant do this consistently. is it possible that he will grow out of it in his own time or am i deluding myself?

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• 15 Chelly // Jun 16, 2009 at 2:15 pm

  Dana, I love that you are so consistent with your program. I too hate to see older children with bottles or pacifiers. we continued are adopted son with a bottle first thing in the am, and right before bed until he was past two, then switched to the sippy cup. Even now, he gets warm milk in the am (he’s 5) but I sure wish I had found your program when he was little, because it has helped us so much in helping us be consistent at bedtime, at bathtime, at meal time, and when visiting, and on outings.

  I’ve very happy to have my bed back for the last 3 months. Thank you!

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• 16 Rachel // Jun 16, 2009 at 2:21 pm

  Dana,
  I have an almost two year old, who still nurses a lot. I plan on nursing as long as she wants to. If a baby is bottle-fed, why does there have to be a time limit on the bottle? Why is 12 months the magic number?

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• 17 Gina // Jun 16, 2009 at 2:30 pm

  Hi
  My little girl is four and has alot of medical problems. She has spent alot of time in hospital and has had a pretty rough start to life. As a baby she would wake up vomiting alot and often stopped breathing. We used to have to stay with her until she went to sleep as she had a tube down her nose and would pull it out any chance she could. Now that things are settling we have worked on getting her to sleep on her own. We have done the slowly moving out of the room trick and it has worked except that we cannot get out the door. If she sees us leave she has a panic attack. We have tried sitting on the floor and sneaking out when she is not watching but if she wakes up in the night she freaks out because we aren’t there. And then dosn’t trust us the next night. We have tried to explain that she is safe and Mummy and Daddy are right next door but she is just so scared of being left alone. How can we help her get over this fear?

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• 18 Julie Moseley // Jun 16, 2009 at 2:41 pm

  My 26 month old is now sleeping in a cotbed. Before this he went to sleep really well and we didn’t hear him until the next day. However, it is now a battle every night to get him to sleep. He keeps getting out of bed and we keep putting him back, this can go on for hours! Please help, any advice will be greatly received.

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• 19 karen // Jun 16, 2009 at 4:25 pm

  Hi at what age do children stop needing their afternoon nap?

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• 20 Andrea Henson // Jun 16, 2009 at 5:47 pm

  I do agree with your statements about older children using bottles and soothers/pacifiers especially during the day, but I disagree with what you said about the consumption of milk past 12 months. My 10 month old is nursed twice a day (first thing in the morning and at bedtime), and at the moment also gets formula once a day (albeit from a sippy cup/bottle). The WHO recommends breastfeeding (along with complementary foods) for the first 2 years of a child’s life, so for a baby/toddler to wean totally from milk by 12 months seems early. I do agree with dissociating milk from sleep though. (My daughter is back to sleeping through the night after a few months of huge sleeping issues mainly due to food/animal allergies).

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• 21 Amie Davies // Jun 16, 2009 at 6:09 pm

  Just wanted to let you know that we no longer “dream feed” Cohen at 10.30-11pm which is great his last bottle is at 6.45-7pm then to bed after that (he never falls asleep on the bottle) my only concern now is the restlessness after 4.30am, I leave him for a little while but after about 10mins I will go in and pacify him it may work until 6.30-7am other times I can go in every half hour till then but I do not get him up before 6.30am! Are there any tricks? I feel like I’m doing the right thing by not getting him up but would love to know more! He is now 8 months.

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• 22 Trish // Jun 16, 2009 at 6:17 pm

  Help! Why can’t I recognize tired signs in my 3 month old? No yawning, eye rubbing etc. She seems to go from quite happy to very unhappy in a split second! It then takes quite awhile for her to get to sleep. Overtired.

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• 23 Stacie // Jun 16, 2009 at 6:17 pm

  I agree with you about the constant bottle. My oldest son now 3 was off an bottle and onto a sippy cup by 6 months and only before bed/naps and meals. My youngest 13 months breastfed till 1 year and is now on a sippy cup of milk before bed/naps and water with meals, and has only had a bottle a handful of time.
  A friend of mine has a almost 2 year old son (will be 2, july 13th) and evey time, and I mean EVERY TIME I see him he has a bottle. Even if he needs his hand he will bite onto the nipple of the bottle and hold it with his mouth so he doesn’t have to put it down. I think they even put him to bed with it. I have told his parents that him having a bottle all the time like that is not good for his teeth, he is old enough that he shouldn’t need a bottle anymore. No matter how old a child is they shouldn’t have a bottle every minute of he day. All they say is well we brush his teeth twice a day, and it’s a security thing for him. Just like some kids have a security blanket he has his bottle. If he was my child I would never let that happen, I would just take it away, take all the bottle out of my house, and if I had to, get him attached to something else like a teddy or something.

  Soothers also, is an aweful habbit to get a baby started with, I hate seeing older children with a soother.

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• 24 Rachel // Jun 16, 2009 at 6:27 pm

  How can I get my baby to sleep more than 30mins at a time for her day sleeps?! She is 4 months old, I keep her up for 1.5hrs at a time (less if she shows tired signs) but she always wakes up after 30mins in bed.

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• 25 Alicia // Jun 16, 2009 at 9:10 pm

  Hi Dana, a major issue with the bottle and milk and straight to bed or going to sleep with a bot is that milk can actually rot teeth. Milk is a great drink for children over one and it wouldn’t be recommend to stop the milk but giving a child a drink of milk in a sippy cup straight after dinner followed by a little bit of water and brushing teeth will help get rid of any milk still in the mouth and hopefully help save your babies teeth.

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• 26 Tara Cusanelli // Jun 16, 2009 at 9:13 pm

  My 10 mth old son naps at the same time every day (9:45am and 2:45pm for one hour each time) and goes to bed by himself every night (asleep by 8:00pm). He sleeps through the night without waking. My issue is that his waking time fluctuates greatly. Some mornings he’s up at 8:00am, some mornings 7:15am and some mornings 6:00am. Why doesn’t he wake at the same time everyday if his naps and bedtime are always the same?

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• 27 Fatima // Jun 16, 2009 at 9:54 pm

  How many hours of sleep does a 4 month old need?

  How long and how many naps should he be taking a day?

  If my son wakes up from his nap crying, does that mean he’s still sleepy?

  My son’s feeding times fall close to his nap times so it ends up that I’m nursing him too sleep? How do I change this?

  I can’t listen to my son cry how do I get him to sleep with a limited amount of crying?

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• 28 Michelle // Jun 16, 2009 at 10:29 pm

  Hi Dana,
  We are working at establishing a night time routine for our 2 month old. I am keeping in mind that her bedtime should be between 7 and 8 pm. Up until this point she was up until 9:30 or 10 pm. She just will not settle down for a bedtime between 7 and 8 pm. She has 3-4 naps during the day lasting about 1 hr each. It seems once dinnertime rolls around, she gets revved up (we have a 2 1/2 year old so it can be quite loud at dinnertime) I look for sleepy cues from her to decide when to take her up, but don’t really see any. My question is how do I “time” her bedtime?

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• 29 Jodie // Jun 16, 2009 at 10:41 pm

  Hi, what disturbs me the most about Tom, Katie and Suri having a bottle is the fact that some people find it necessary (especially publicly) to judge others on their children and their parenting! Seriously who are you/we to judge anyone on anything to do with their families. If you and your family are happy, content, loved and heathly it is no-one elses business! If there is an issue, sure, get it sorted and ask for help and get an opinion, otherwise keep your opinions to yourself! There are children in this world being abused, starved and goodness knows what else and you are worried and judging people on their toddlers having bottles and dummies. Come on people, get a life! Perhaps throw your judging hats into a different arena? ie parents who dont look after their toddlers at all! As women, mothers and parents we should all be more supportive of each other, no matter who we are.
  There is my rant for the day………

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• 30 Michelle Young // Jun 16, 2009 at 11:16 pm

  I have a 17 month old son, Jameson, that I am working on weaning from the breast as well as getting him to sleep all night in his crib. He’s down to nursing just once or twice a day but he won’t go to sleep on his own. He has to be rocked, nursed or in our bed. I have tried leaving him in his own crib and he screams and even vomited one time. I just can’t deal with that as it makes me feel terrible. How do I teach him to soothe himself to sleep on his own and get him to stay in his crib all night? I am so ready to have my bed to myself and my husband again!

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• 31 Theoni // Jun 16, 2009 at 11:23 pm

  Is it normal for some babies to always cry it out before sleep? Our 4-month-old son is a good sleeper. He sleeps for 11 hours uninterrupted in the evening and takes 3 naps: 8:30 am for 1.5 hrs, noon for 2 hrs, and at 4pm for 30 min. He seems like he just needs to cry himself to sleep. He rarely cries for more than 10 minutes, but I thought he would have figured it out by now. We have tried putting him down earlier to prevent an over-tired state but still he cries. Will this just be a part of sleep process?

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• 32 Brenda Asberry // Jun 16, 2009 at 11:57 pm

  Adell,
  I have to disagree with u on that one.He two years old and doesn’t need a bottle.He needs to drink from a sippy cup not a bottle.You’re going to have to weem him from his bottle.My son was a year old a year and a half before I weem him.It took him a while to get use to it but it work.If u don’t do it now he think it ok to drink from a bottle and not a sippy.Julie what u need to do is tell him no u going to have to sleep in you’re bed and don’t get out.What u could do is read to him before bed if he likes to be read to and sing to him to try to get him to sleep.karen about 6 or 7 years old is good to quit takeing naps.lianne he will eventrly grow out of it.I agree I think suri to old for a bottle and needs to have a sippy instead or she never learn.She 3 not a baby.

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• 33 Sandra // Jun 17, 2009 at 12:25 am

  Hi Dana my delema is i have 3 children helena who is 4, Christian who is 2 this week and Andrew who is 8 1/2 months. we have not slept in 2 years christian still wakes up in the night screaming for someone and i mean screaming he can do this from 2-6 times a night.we have a good bedtime routine and he can put himself tosleep although the last few weeks he is screaming at bedtime.I also have Andrew who still wakes and feeds nearly every 4 hours and i think he is getting woken up from christian. Both boys are very clingy i even went to sleep school for christian and they said they had no answers controled crying will not help he just has to grow out of it. please some advise would be great

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• 34 tami // Jun 17, 2009 at 12:29 am

  kena is 2, she is not sleeping thru the night, what to do. also how many hours sleep does she need at night and how long of a nap is acceptable or needed?

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• 35 Halie // Jun 17, 2009 at 1:18 am

  My daughter is 19 months old and uses a pacifier at bed time and nap time only. We are wanting to wean her off of it because she is starting to ask for it more and more often through out the day and especially whenever she is in her car seat. We have no idea how or where to begin. Cold turkey doesn’t seem to be an option as she gets extremely upset sometimes when we “forget” to bring it with us in the car and don’t give it to her. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

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• 36 Angela Dunn // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:07 am

  I have justed started sleep programme. My daughter would go to sleep with a bottle she is 14months. First night went not too bad. My only worry is that she is not great at eating and I feel she needs milk for nourishment and the only way she will take this is from a bottle. My plan is to try and get her to sleep on her own first. We now give her bottle before bed and put her down wakened, which she did not like. Once she learns to sleep on her own then I was going to introduce milk in a sippy cup and disregard the bottle. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

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• 37 shaena // Jun 17, 2009 at 7:15 am

  hi Dana, my first baby who is 7 months old sleeps between me and my husband in the bed. it’s a kind of funny but could you please suggest that how can i make him sleep in his cot? by changing his feeding or sleeping habits and or schedule.
  i am nursing him and he takes my feed almost 3-4 time during night.
  please help
  thanx
  shaena

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• 38 Karly // Jun 17, 2009 at 8:14 am

  Hi, I have a 20 month old boy who not only doesn’t sleep through the night he won’t go into his own bed, and wants to be in our, i also have touble getting him settled to go to sleep and sometimes he is still awake 10 at night i try to stick to the same routine of bath then bed at about 8 o’clock but it doesn’t seem to be working he still has a bottle and most nights falls to sleep drinking out of his bottle. he wakes up about 6 times a night asking for his bottle and thats the only way he will go back to sleep so then i have to change his nappy up to 4 times a night This has been going on for about 7 months now.

  PLEASE HELP!

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• 39 Wil // Jun 17, 2009 at 9:52 am

  Ok Dana, here is my problem. Just before my daughter’s 1st birthday, I lost my job so my wife went to working full-time and I picked up the child care. At the time, she went to bed with a bottle & woke up once during the night, at which time we’d give her a pacifier and she’d go right back to sleep.

  It took me about 10 days to break her from BOTH. She started falling asleep with no bottle and would sleep through the night.

  I put all the pacifiers away. Then, I got a new job and went back to work, this whole process took about three weeks.

  I came home late one evening after work, and my wife was putting Yana to sleep WITH A PACIFIER IN HER MOUTH!!! I complained but she told me “she needs it” so I shut up.

  Now, at 22 months, Yana refuses to sleep without the pacifier. How do we break this habit?

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• 40 Lori // Jun 17, 2009 at 10:23 am

  I was always wondering the same thing - why is that child always with a bottle?

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• 41 Terri // Jun 17, 2009 at 1:12 pm

  Dana,
  I have been trying for over a 3 years to get Hanna to sleep without me staying in her room. I’ve taken everything away, no effect. She dosen’t have something that she cares that much about that makes her want to be good. She has not had a passy since she turned 2, I still give her a drink of milk before bed, we have a bath, then story time on the couch, then at 7:30 we read 3 more books in bed and we say goodnight but she won’t go to sleep. She wants more stories, I say no then she starts to get out of bed, running into the other room for my husband, then wants him to put her to bed. We switch off and the stories and talking continue, then she wants me again. It used to take 2 hours to put her down, now only an hour. She does not nap when she is home but has rest time at daycare 3x’s a week. They say she dosen’t sleep but those nights are the hardest. I try to remember I’m the adult and try not to get mad but we end up yelling before she will settle enough to get her to go to sleep.

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• 42 Beth Murphree // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:25 pm

  Jayden is 5 months old and the most he sleeps in a stretch is 6 hours. He has laryngomalacia and acid reflux and started cutting teeth at 3 months. He is currently on 2 medications for reflux and is cutting his 4 top front teeth. (He has the bottom 2 already.) When he wakes up in the wee hours of the morning he gets 4 ounces of formula with 10 teaspoons of cereal. Sometimes he goes back to sleep and sometimes he doesn’t. Should he be able to sleep through the night despite all his health problems? He usually takes 3 naps during the day lasting from 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours, rarely longer. Thanks!

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• 43 Hazel // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:49 pm

  My daughter is 9 months old she currently is in a routine of waking up at 7am and going to bed for 7.30pm. I realise this is very good for the above age. However the problem i have is once she has gone down for 7.30pm she awakes around 12ish and i have trouble soothing her back of to sleep in her own!! cot in her own bedroom!! she is aware of her environment when she first goes down. How do i get to stay in her own cot through the nigh?t i have tried nearly all tactics such as, soothing, mobile, radio, ticking clock, leaving the room e.g. controlled crying etc. I refuse to give her an extra bottle as i dont want this to become the new reliance… but i seem to be spending 2 hours or so trying to get her to go back off and believe me when i say i do my best to tire her out all day… but so far i feel more restless and tired than anyone in the house, because i haven’t had a consistent sleep with no disturbances for some time.

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• 44 Hazel // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:58 pm

  would just like to add further to my comment… my daughter has a 1 hour nap through the day and 30mins in the morn… the rest is play time or shopping. Then at night time when the demons set in her lovely little angel sparkle eyes!! its keeping mummy up until way past her bed time (”,)

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• 45 Brandy // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:30 pm

  At what age would it be appropriate to transition the child into a toddler bed?

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• 46 Brandy // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:34 pm

  I have a 20 month old daughter who refuses to go to bed at night.. for her age what is a good bed time?

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• 47 Charity // Jun 17, 2009 at 6:18 pm

  My son Cayden, is 33 months old. We sleep trained him with your system when he was around 7 months old and has done great at sleeping through the night. That is until recently. We put off potty training due to the arrival of our 2nd child and a house move. We had read that when introducing a new child or having a major change like a move that potty training should be put off until everything is calm so the child doesn’t revert back to diapers. Anyway, ever since we potty trained him he has been waking up a few times a night and coming into our room. He doesn’t wake us up he just lays on the floor next to me and I usually wake up to find him there. Once I find him I take him to the bathroom and put him back in his bed. This happens anywhere from 2 to 4 times a night. Do you have any advise on how to get my little man to stay in his room and stop sleeping on my floor?

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• 48 nikki // Jun 17, 2009 at 6:37 pm

  hi Dana ,i cant believe people who complain that ther child wakes at 6 but has slept all night,i have a five month old who wakes five times a night and only sleeps for 1 hour during the day and this consists of 6 ten minute naps usually on the school run in the car .he normally falls asleep during a bottle this is only at night he will then sleep for maybe 1 hour then wake have a little more milk but not a full bottle then sleep for another hour or so and this continues throughout the night,i have tried putting him down awake but he just screams and screams,please help why wont he sleep,iam suffering with no sleep help me

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• 49 Elizabeth // Jun 17, 2009 at 7:33 pm

  My son will be one on July 5th. He was born 8 weeks early. I am having problems getting him to sleep and to stay asleep during the night. Here is the routine: 6:30pm dinner time which is a tub of baby food vegetable and half a tub of fruit. After that he will either get a bath or will be allowed to play a little on the floor with his toys. 7:30 comes around and we make a bottle for him. Usually 6-8 oz. So, first we used to feed him the bottle and he would fall asleep and then we would put him in his crib. Then not more than 3 hours later he is up again and is wanting a bottle, which we give to him and then lay him back to sleep. Then he is up again another 3-5 hours later. My husband thinks because he eats the bottles that he must be hungry and since he was a preemie, he thinks he needs the nutrition. I have been reading up on your site about how to get them to sleep. (unfortunately, being a state worker for the state of ca, I cant afford to purchase the program at this moment).
  I thought I would give you advise a try. I feed him his bottle and usual routine and then put him in his bed awake. He cried for almost an hour. When I try going in every 10 minutes to tell him it is time to sleep, he will scream even more. But finally he went to sleep around 8pm. Then he will wake up at 3-4 wanting a bottle. So of course, my husband makes one and then takes him and sleeps with him on a pad he brought in to the room. He feels like he should not cry and thinks he needs the bottle for nourishment.
  So, I guess my question is; How long do you let your child cry before you go in and pick him up, If he doesn’t have a wet diaper and we feed him before bed, should we just let him cry until he falls asleep? I don’t think going in there helps because he just cries louder. I also have to admit that my husband has been sleeping either with him or by himself on the floor basically since he was about 6 months old. How can I get my husband back in bed with me (since he is ready to come back) and get Shawn to sleep by himself through the nigh. Please help. I miss my sleep and my husband.

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• 50 Wayne // Jun 17, 2009 at 8:22 pm

  I made the mistake of rocking our liitle girl (now 8 months) to sleep for her naps and nighttime until she started waking up every couple of hours in the night. We began to change the way she went to bed ie, putting her down awake and gradually letting her put herself to sleep. This was beginning to work really well, she even slept through the night on two consecutive nights, untill a couple of days ago when her daytime naps were only lasting 45 mins to an hour. Then yesterday she would not sleep at all in the afternoon. She woke up twice in the night, we fed her the first time and she went back to sleep fro two hours and the second time I resettled her (after half an hour). She sits in her high chair at breakfast time and yawns, rubs her eyes and grizzles. She is eating very well and putting on weight at a healthy rate. I hold her for about 10 mins to calm her before wrapping and attempting to put her down but as soon as I lower her into the cot she screams the house down. I don’t know what to do. Has anyone got any ideas?

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• 51 Amy // Jun 17, 2009 at 10:00 pm

  Hey Dana~ My 5 month old son, Noah, soon to be 6 months on July 5th is still waking in the middle of the night (2am). He is a breastfed baby but I have now introduced baby food & cereal as well. He goes to sleep on his own in his crib at 7:30. At this age, does he still need to be fed in the middle of the night or is this 2am waking just habit? I just want to make sure he isn’t hungry. Thanks!

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• 52 Karen // Jun 17, 2009 at 10:24 pm

  Hi Dana,
  My 11th month old girl hasn’t really gained any weight for afew months now. Her pediatrican suggested Organic Whole Milk after she refused formula in a bottle. I tried giving it to her in her sippy but she almost threw up. I just don’t always want to give her watered down pair juice and concerned that she is not getting enough nutrients as she seems to be less interested in nursing now.

  Please help!
  Thanks,
  Karen

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• 53 Chelsea // Jun 17, 2009 at 11:00 pm

  I have a 7 month old who uses a pacifier to fall asleep with at night. If we give it to her, she can fall asleep both during nap times and at night by herself. When it falls out, she doesn’t wake up, however, when she does wake up at night or during her nap, we have to give her the pacifier back so she can fall back asleep. She wakes up multiple times a night and will not go back to sleep unless we give it to her. So, my question is, should I take the pacifier away from her and if so HOW?? She only uses it when she is going to sleep. My husband and I would REALLY APPRECIATE your advice on this.

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• 54 Rachel // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:24 am

  Jodie’s comment was along the lines I was thinking…We all have our ideas on the best way to do things (I’m big into child-led weaning and co-sleeping) but every parent has to decide what is best for their child.
  My mother nursed all of us for at least 2+ years. My youngest brother was adopted, so she bottle fed him in the same way. He did not fall asleep with it, it was just his special time on Mom’s lap…as he neared his fourth birthday, they told him that four-year-olds did not drink from bottles. On his birthday they put the bottles away. That was that…
  Does it matter to others when each parent/child decides to give up the bottle? Do what is best for your own child.
  Every child is unique, as all parents know.

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• 55 lorna // Jun 18, 2009 at 5:07 am

  hi, my 3year old daughter maya used to sleep through the night up untill a year ago, she now wakes up roughly 3hours after i have put her 2bed, she will go 2sleep with me sat on her bed.
  when she wakes in the night she can be up for hours during that hour i am getting tired so it ends up with maya in my bed with me, is there any advice you could give me?

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• 56 Nanny Stefani // Jun 18, 2009 at 3:30 pm

  I believe Suri is Breast Fed which to most of us, who believe in Breast feeding, is done for more than a year for optimum health. So to avoid Katie’s body parts showing up in tabloids she puts the breast milk in a bottle for going out in public. I get that a cup is better for cow’s milk like with meals but kids get used to Breast Milk being in a breast & a bottle is enough similar that some babies “get it” when it’s in a bottle but not when Breast Milk is in a cup, so bottles are just for that one type of liquid.

  Just a Thought, Nanny Stefani

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• 57 norma // Jun 20, 2009 at 2:23 pm

  hi dana,
  i have 15 month old daughter that wont go to sleep by herself at night or at nap time. i get really frustraded because not only does she cry every time she needs to nap or at bed time, but she cries all day long. i really need your help, i am so close from my breaking point, i dont know what to do. i also would like to learn how to sleep longer. every morning she is up at 6 am. please help!!!

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• 58 Sonja // Jun 20, 2009 at 6:36 pm

  my 1 year old still does’nt go to sleep by himself. I have to either put him to sleep in my arms with a binky and blanky, or put him in his crib and lay in my bed so he see’s me laying down also. If that doesnt work, he lays in my bed with me. Is it still ok to let him cry to go to sleep by himself at this age, and for how long? We try when nothing else works for 5 min., but he really crys distressingly, and it kills us. What should we do?

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• 59 Malki // Jun 21, 2009 at 1:40 am

  1)My baby is 14 month and will only fall asleep with me sitting next to his crib if i leave he cries and screams, should i still be staying with him or its time for him to learn how to go to sleep on his own? same for napping.

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• 60 Janna // Jun 21, 2009 at 1:43 am

  My son Kirk is almost 3 yrs old does not like to sleep. No matter what I do he ends up in a schedule of going to bed around 3am and getting up around 1pm. He almost always naps around 6pm. He likes to fall asleep in our bed or the couch and refuses to sleep in his toddler bed. I usually transfer him to his bed then he gets up and crawls into bed with my husband and I at a different time each morning usually 6am. Some times if he doesn’t get a nap he will go to sleep at night and only sleep 2 hrs then up all night. Do you think he has his days and nights mixed up or do I need to get a single bed in his own room. Any advice would be great!!

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• 61 LaShonda // Jun 21, 2009 at 12:20 pm

  Hi Dana,

  I have a newborn that’s turning 3 months in a couple of weeks. There are a couple of habits I’d like to change.
  First - when my child was 1 month he would nurse and go to sleep when tired and sleep well. Around a month and a half he started to get fussy, rub eyes/nose on my shoulder. I tried different things to help him doze off for naps and bedtime. I found that patting him on the back while walking around with him over my shoulder was the only thing that worked. He would fuss,cry rub his eyes and squirm on his back for several minutes. If I picked him up and put him on my shoulder and he would be out almost immediately. Now that he’s over 12lbs and about to be 3 months I would really like to find a better way to put him down to sleep. Can you help?

  Second-His 1st month he would sleep fine in his bassinet. Of course he would wake to nurse and go back to sleep throughout the night but he would go back to sleep. Again around a month and a half he changed. He would constantly wake up once placed in his bassinet. He would wake even if he was in a good sleep in the day or night. I guess due to his reflux he sleeps better on his stomach that during the day when I could keep an eye on him. I found he sleeps longer and better this way. At night when it’s bedtime he sleeps well on his back if he’s on the couch or on my bed. The later is what I have resorted to but it’s now interrupting how my husband and I sleep. My son will be 3 months in a couple of weeks and has just started reaching out his arms to feel for someone. I never wanted him to co-sleep with us. Can you help me get him out of our bed and into his own sleeping quarters?

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• 62 Elana // Jun 21, 2009 at 12:53 pm

  My daughter was weaned at 14 months. At about 9 months I started her on a sippy cup. She loves her sippy cup. I give her her sippy cup before bed and when she wakes up. The problem is she has become attached to her sippy cup. She sleeps with it and sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night asking for more milk in her sippy cup. She will go right back to sleep after I give her one. Is this a problem? Should I wean her from her sippy cup? How would I do that with out disturbing her sleep? She is 21 months?

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• 63 Rozsika // Jun 21, 2009 at 5:12 pm

  Our daughter is 1 ½ years old and has never slept through the night. We’re tried lots of approaches and books to try to help her sleep through the night, but nothing has seemed to work. She has had reflux and medicine for it, and has a really low pain tolerance for teething both at night and during the day, so that complicates things. She has a consistent nap time and routine of 1pm and sleeps until about 3pm. It feels like every time we are close to having her sleep through the night, something like a cold/sickness or vacation messes things us. She has a pretty consistent bed time routine at 8pm eating, then bath, then sippy cup, brush teeth song & book, then we put her in the crib and she falls asleep herself. But she still wakes up to have some milk at night, so we got tired of getting up and giving her milk (she would drink around 10oz 2-3 times a night, not any consistent time) and put a cup holder in her crib and put her milk in that so she drinks it herself now and wakes us up less. But even then, she still wakes up at other times for no apparent reason. She doesn’t necessarily need us to touch her or put her back to sleep. We just ask her to find her soother that’s attached to her, and lie back down, but she doesn’t have a sleep association with a soother. She is finally over her reflux and off medicine. She can fall back asleep herself when she wakes up and sometimes without a soother (I watch her do it sometimes when she calls out and I don’t go to her and peek through her door), so we just don’t know what to do to help her sleep through the night and we don’t understand the problem. Because of her teething, we also don’t want to let her cry it out if she’s in pain. We’re pretty tired. We are going on a trip in a couple of months and will need the soother for the airplane ride. Would helping her stop drinking milk at night be the answer? If so, how do we go about that?

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• 64 Angela // Jun 21, 2009 at 8:05 pm

  Georgia is 18 months old and goes to bed at 7-7:30pm and puts herself to sleep (goes down fully awake with a teddy).
  Lately she has been waking early in the morning (4:30am) and eventually going back to sleep after crying out for about 10 minutes, but waking again within the hour. This means most mornings I am up with her between 5 and 6am.
  The other night she woke sounding very distressed at 12:30am and wouldn’t resettle without my comforting her. She often seems to wake (even at normal times) very suddenly and loudly crying out. Is this normal?

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• 65 Dina // Jun 21, 2009 at 11:06 pm

  I still don’t get why it bothers you and others so much. Your video doesn’t really give a reason, other than they should learn to self-regulate. Why can’t we let babies be babies. My 2 1/2 year old had a bottle until 2. I would have never taken it away from her at 1 because it brought her so much comfort. I don’t want my baby to self soothe. She is a baby. I want to provide that comfort for her. When I fill that dependance she will grow to be independent. Which despite having a bottle until 2, she is one of the most independent 2 1/2 year olds out there.

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• 66 Amy Solik // Jun 22, 2009 at 10:20 pm

  Dana,
  Could you please address the use of a pacifier for sleep. My 11 week old is stuck on it (my fault for starting her on one). I’m not sure if I need to go ahead and take it away or let her keep it. It is driving me crazy putting it back in every few minutes until she falls asleep. She is so dependent on it though! Help!

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• 67 Jenny // Jun 22, 2009 at 11:01 pm

  I have a 3 1/2 month old who will not go to sleep without being swaddled and nursed to sleep (and this process usually takes al almost 2 hrs of nursing to get him to go down). Even still he will grunt and grown and try to escape the swaddle as he sleeps and he never sleeps more than 4 hrs at a time. AS for naps - if I am lucky he does 2 1/2 hr naps before 1 pm and then anywhere from a half hour to 2 hours in the afternoon. He is constantly overtired. How can I get him to sleep unswaddled and un-nursed??

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• 68 rachel // Jul 8, 2009 at 6:34 pm

  I have a 2 and a half year old, for about a year she stayed with her father at night while I worked third shift, he has always allowed her to sleep with him in bed. How do I break this habit? Also I am working on potty training her, she seems to be doing good, when I am home all day I leave her diaper off and she will say I hve to go potty and she will go straight to the toilet, then there are times that she will go hide and go right on the floor, poop or pee. How do I stop this? I do reward her when sh does go where she is suppossed to. Also I took the bottle away when she was 1, she acted like she didn’t want it anymore, now she drinks from a sippy cup, off and on throughout the day, at night she feels she has to have it every other hour or she throws a fit, she takes it to bed with her and has to have it whenever she just lays down. How do I break this habit of taking the cup to bed with her and then the waking in the middle of the night every other hour or so? Oh and when she does want the cup she will drink sometimes all of it or just a few drinks and then give it back.

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• 69 Ivy // Jul 26, 2009 at 7:29 pm

  I have a 2 year old who for the last few weeks have been waking up around 2.30-3.00 in the morning. She stays awake for around 1-2 hours talking/playing in her cot. She is content to just lie there. However, I feel that she is not getting enough sleep as she is awake for so long. She goes to sleep on her own with her dolly and blanket. She gets a cuddle before she is put into her cot. Normally she has a little cry but settles very quickly (within 10-15 minutes). Also, she still has a pacifier and milk out of a bottle. She goes to crech 2 days a week where she does not have her pacifier unless really upset. I am working on taking the pacifier away but not with much success.

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• 70 Kitty // Sep 7, 2009 at 4:54 pm

  Human beings are meant to nurse for a number of years and to sleep with their mother, so that need to suckle and be close to their mother does not “magically” end at one year old. Katherine Dettwyler, who has studied the natural age of weaning, says that humans do not normally wean before 2 1/2 years with the average age being around 4.2 years. I think it would make perfect sense if a child did not give up their pacifier until they were 4 - like I did.

  I think our society, thanks to all of the Male baby experts and being out of touch with nature, has some very unrealistic expectations for our children. We should stop asking why are they not doing what we think they should be doing and ask ourselves what is our problem with expecting them to grow up too fast?

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