56 responses so far ↓

• 1 jessica // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:08 am

  We have been working on bed time with our new three
  week old baby starting at 8pm. He will not sleep in his
  bassinet, wanting to be held in stead. I admit that we
  eventually give in (our bed time is between eleven and
  midnight). He still needs night time feedings so the
  convenience of in room sleeping outweighs putting
  him in his crib for now. How can we keep from ending
  up in rocky’s situation and still get sleep now?

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• 2 frances // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:11 am

  how can i get my 12 month old baby to sleep through the night without waking up for a bottle???

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• 3 frances // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:12 am

  How do i wean my 12 month old baby off the bottle???

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• 4 Mardi // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:12 am

  My 1 year olds was born 8 weeks early. Her lungs were not developed so we have had issues all winter. When she cries she starts whizzing. Due to this we have never put her in her crib to cry. She is now sleeping with me and my husband. That is one problem. The other problem even though she is in our bed she is still waking up all night. I took her night feeds away at 11 months. She is still needing water at night to calm her down. She wakes up about each hour to find some kind of comfort. Sometimes she is screaming so loud we do not know what to do. We then make the excuss that she is teething and give her some medicine. I do not know what to do.

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• 5 Christina Thanner // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:18 am

  We have a 12 month old who won’t fall asleep in his crib. I’ve tried a modified method of “crying it out”. I go into his room after 10 minutes of cying/screaming just to soothe him. He is usually standing in the crib so I lay him down and rub him a little, then leave. I don’t say anything during this time. As soon as I leave, he starts again. I wait 15 min and come back in. Same thing happens….as soon as I leave, he cries. One night I did this for 2 hours and still no luck. I broke down and fell asleep with him on the sofa. Night after night when he wakes up, I just let him sleep with me on the sofa. I work 12 hour shifts at a hospital so I need my sleep too and although I know both of us would be better off if he slept in his crib, I feel like some sleep is better than no sleep. My husband tries to help but the baby just wants me at night. How do I get him to sleep in the crib and keep my sanity?

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• 6 Wendy // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:36 am

  My son Reece from 2 weeks old went to bed awake and drifted off without a soother or being cuddled to sleep. Just recently at nearly 4 months old he starts to scream when we put him in his cot after his last feed. I am unsure what has changed and why he wants to be cuddled to sleep with a soother, I don’t want to start this, I would rather he went to sleep on his own. Do you have any suggestions.

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• 7 AnnMarie // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:36 am

  I have a question. My son is 29 months old. The problem is that when he was 2, he started climbing out of his crib whne he would wake up. Since that was dangerous and we were afraid of him hurting himself, we changed his crib to a toddler bed. For the first 3 months, he had no problem going to sleep between 7:30 and 8pm and he would sleep all through the night until we needed to get him up for daycare, which was about 6am. The problem has been that he has decided that he does not want to go to sleep until 10:00 or later now and gets up around 4am and climbs into bed with my husband and I. We have not changed any of his habits, so I am unsure as to why there is a change all of the sudden. He is very active all through the day and at night. The only way that we can get him to go to sleep is if he lay on my husband or myself in order to get him to relax and then he will finally fall asleep, we can put him in the crib and he will stay there until 4am. We have tried all of your suggestion on trying to get him to go to bed earlier and stay in his bed, but that does not work. He will cry and not fall asleep, get up and come back out to us, if we take him back to his room, he will sneak out and just stay right out of sight, if we close the door and lock it to keep him in there, he will unlock the door and come out. The mornings are hard, because both my husband and I are so sleepy, that we barely wake up when he comes to our room and climbs in the bed. It is too hard for either one of us to go ahead and take him back to his room, knowing that we need to get up and go to work the next day. He is very active during the day and he takes a nap, he just does not seem tired at all when I pick him up from daycare and we get home he is ready to play and run around. I get him to settle down for dinner which is about 6:30 pm. I get him from daycare between 5:30 and 6:00 so it is hard to go ahead and eat any earlier. Once he finishes eating he is ready to go again. I even try to give him a bath right after eating in hopes this will settle him down and once he is done with his bath and get him ready for bed, he is still ready to run around and play. Any suggestion would be very much appreciated. I feel like I have tried everything in order to get him to go to sleep earlier and it doesn’t seem to work. I know from what I have been told that he needs more than 8 hours of sleep at night, but he just wants to play, he is a very active toddler.

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• 8 Laura // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:46 am

  Hi Dana!
  My baby is 4 months old and her name is Laura.
  As of now her routine of going to bed at night is not steady. Sometimes she goes to sleep early at 7 to 9 pm which is very good but sometimes very late at night 12 midnight, 1 to 2 am. Come to the point that I am very tired. Another thing is when I breastfeed her during the day knowing that it is about for her nap she goes to sleep and then when I put her in
  her crib, she start moving and then wake up. Same thing at night. So what I usually do is we lie down together in our bed, breastfeed her and then when she goes to sleep, I let her sleep for a while in our bed and later on pick her up slowly and bring her in her crib. I really wanted to introduce her to go to sleep early at night and straight ahead to her crib after feeding.

  Thank you! christine

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• 9 Michelle // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:08 am

  Dana, I purchased your program in December as our almost 5 yo was not just sleeping with us, but couldn’t or wouldn’t go to sleep without one of us in bed with him. After reading the book and having my husband read the book, we talked and made some bedroom changes, (hubby and I moved into the room right next to Joey’s room) and started the program the first night, so we all had a “new” bedroom at the same time. We also chose a start date during my husbands vacation time. The first several nights were very challenging, and he slept curled into a fight little ball, not relaxed at all. It took almost three weeks before he released his fear and relaxed, stretched out, and slept. We are all getting much better sleep now, and he even asks to go to bed when he is ready. I just want to encourage others, that if you haven’t bought the sleep sense program yet, you really really should. It was the best value for the money I’ve EVER spent.

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• 10 Kim // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:10 am

  My daughter Spencer just turned 2. She started climbing out of her crib at 18 months. She has been sleeping in a real bed for the past 3 months. In order to get her to sleep, however, I have to lay down next to her until she is asleep. She also takes a bottle with her - it has 2-3 oz of water in it, and she empties it quickly, then sucks on the empty bottle until she falls asleep.

  She takes a 90 min nap every afternoon. She goes to sleep around 9 or 9:30pm and wakes up around 8:30am. She regularly sleeps right through the night. The big issue is getting her to fall asleep on her own for nap and bedtime, and eventually getting rid of the bottle. I am expecting a baby in July and laying down with her is getting to be problematic. I also won’t be able to do it when the new baby is here.

  I have tried leaving her in her room but she gets hysterical and cries and cries then when I go in to calm her - she just can’t calm down and it takes even longer to get her to sleep…

  Thanks

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• 11 Jessica // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:14 am

  My 6 month old resists going to sleep during the day. She falls asleep while nursing but then I transfer her to her crib and she wakes up and just fusses forever. I stand by her and pat her and touch her etc but she won’t go to sleep. She used to fall asleep in her swing and now she resists that too. She sleeps in our bed at night and falls asleep nursing and sleeps fairly well only waking once or twice during the night. I’m running out of patience!

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• 12 anna scott // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:18 am

  Our 2.5year old wakes up 4 or 5 times a night, immediately that she wakes up she screams for Daddy. The first time it is usually to do a wee but after that she is just screaming and usually wants to come to our bed. If we don’t go to her she comes downstairs on her own. She has a 1-2 hour nap in the early afternoon most days. She has a bedtime routine and getting her to sleep involves story and Daddy sitting outside the room. We are finding that many methods are unsuitable for mobile children. Help!

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• 13 lisa hughes // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:31 am

  my childs 18mths old and still wakes in tthe night for a bottle of milk ive tryed not giving it to her and substuting with water, sqush ect but she will not take it. She will not settle without milk if i leave her cry she makes herself sick. Please help

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• 14 Danielle // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:37 am

  Hi Dana - Please could you share your thoughts on how to get my 6 month old daughter to sleep through the night without waking for a bottle at 3am. She falls asleep on her own at bedtime (7pm) always after some crying (can vary from 10 mins to 1 hr of crying before she’ll sleep). She has a full bottle feed at 11pm - sometimes awake, sometimes while she’s still half asleep. Then she always wakes between 2 and 4 for a feed. I thought by the age of 6 months she would no longer need feeding in the night. She feeds well during the day and continues to put on weight well. After her middle of the night feed she usually sleeps soundly until about 7am. If I do not feed her but settle her back to sleep either she will not go back to sleep, or, if she does, then it is only every for another hour before waking again wanting her milk. Advice would be much appreciated!

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• 15 Jessica // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:40 am

  Dear Dana,
  I desperately need your help! My son and I are both so sleep deprived we wake up tired and grouchy nearly every day. He always had a routine since birth. We take a bath, wind down with a short book or program (usually Elmo!) brush teeth, and I tell him several times (so it’s not a surprise) that it’s bedtime. He lost his father when he was only 5 mo. old & we just lost my sister the same day on his father’s one year anniversary. Brayden just experienced a recent admission to Geisinger Medical Center. He was in the Pediatric Unit for 6 days. He is currently on seizure medication(Trileptal 1ml tid) and his schedule has gone out the window. I’M SO EXHAUSTED as is he. He seems almost terrified od bedtime. He is 2 & sleeps in his own room in a crib. He always slept in his crib in his own room. He finally gets to sleep very late (10:00 or 11:00pm) after an hour of crying and still wakes at least once crying every night. I don’t know what to do? Since the hospital he doesn’t want his bottle anymore, which is how he used to fall asleep. To make matters worse, his Pediatrician lost his “sleepytime pillow”. I’ve bought multiple types to make up for it to no avail. Please help us…we need sleep! Also, he fights a nap all day & becomes too tired and needs a nap late in the day-3 or 4:00pm!(I know, not good!) I’m hoping to hear from you very soon! God Bless!
  Sleepless in PA,
  Jessica & Brayden

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• 16 Rebecca // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:57 am

  I have an adorable 4 month old, Clara. She sleeps about 8-9 hrs nightly. We do put her in her crib awake and she is able to put herself to sleep. She likes her paci while sleeping! When the paci falls out of her mouth she gets restless
  and begins to fuss, but doesn’t wake up fully. We get up to give the paci back to her any where from 5-7 times a night. If we do not give the paci to her, she will wake up and REALLY cry. We need help!!!! I know we need to stop this cycle, as she needs sound rest/sleep, and so do her parents!!!
  Thanks for your help!!!!!!

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• 17 Jennifer // Mar 31, 2009 at 1:24 pm

  I have 2 year old twins. They go to sleep on their own and wake each night. The issue is that several times a night they will wake up and scream to come into our bed. I can not seem to get them to soothe themselves back to sleep on their own w/o coming into our bed. Help.

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• 18 Natalie James // Mar 31, 2009 at 1:53 pm

  Hi Dana. My little girl Isabella is 27 months old. She goes to bed at 7.30 and has had the same routine since about 7 months of dinner, bath, teeth, story, milk then bed. She has always woken up during the night and usually just needed reassurance that I was there and she would eventually get herself back to sleep. She fights sleep and has done for as long as I can remember. Then when she was about 20 months she said she was scared at bedtime and cried hysterically when I left the room - even when I tried coming back in every few minutes to calm her down untill eventually she vomitted through crying so much. Since then I have stayed with her while she went to sleep which seemed to help for a couple of months but now I am at the stage where she wakes up 3 or 4 times a night and after about 4am I struggle to get her back to sleep even lying with her. ‘controlled crying’ techniques seem to end with her getting so upset she makes herself sick so I end up thinking it’s not worth it and I don’t want her to be scared. She averages about 9 hours sleep a night with it being unbroken untill midnight then she’s up around 2, 3 and 4am by then does not seem tired. She has no daytime sleep and sleeps in a cotbed but does not get out. I am out of ideas - please help!

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• 19 Stephanie // Mar 31, 2009 at 1:56 pm

  Hello,

  My husband and i would like to know how to get our three year old to stay in bed all night with the exception of using the potty. He has a bedtime routine, it is as follows by six pm he has had dinner , then he plays for about thirty minutes to get rid last burst of energy and then at 7pm he has a bath , 7:30 he has teeth brush and pj’s . From 7:45 he has a story time untill eight pm after that he won’t stay in bed . Then i end up rocking him to sleep . He will then get up with in three to four hours later . Then i have to rock him again or let him come to bed with us so i can get some sleep and we do this all night . He is a very early riser. I need help , and sleep.

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• 20 Linda // Mar 31, 2009 at 2:15 pm

  AnnMarie problems are excatly like mine. My son is 2, will be three in Oct. I don’t know what to do either. I have tired lots of things. My son does have a t.v in his room and watches the same movie every night. I thought that was the problem so I took it out of his room, but it made no difference. Like I said before, AnnMarie and I are having the same problem. My son comes home from daycare around 5:30 and around 6 to 6:30 we eat dinner. Around 7 to 7:30 it’s bath and then brush teeth and read a book, say pray and then bed. But I have to sit in there and pat his back until he falls asleep. If he starts to not listen I tell him I’m going into the living room. I do this and after 2 mins. he is coming into the living room or whereever I might be at. I go lay him back down and tell him not to get out of his bed. (toddler bed) he doesn’t listen, he comes out again. He finally goes to bed around 10 to 11 at night. Then he sleeps until 4 to 5 then comes into bed with my husband and I. We let him sleep with us because its eaiser and because sometimes he doesn’t wake us up. He has his closet light on and the door open. I don’t want him to be in his room with his door close incase he get’s scared. I need your help.

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• 21 Olivia Joseph // Mar 31, 2009 at 3:06 pm

  Our 8mth old daugher, Kayla wakes up everynight once for no reason. I go in and rub her back every 10 mins or so about 2 to 3 times and then she falls asleep. Is there anything we can do to help her sleep through the night?

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• 22 Stacie // Mar 31, 2009 at 3:08 pm

  My daughter is disabled and won’t sleep anywhere else but her swing. How do i get her to Sleep in her bed without crying through the night for her swing???

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• 23 Carmen // Mar 31, 2009 at 3:17 pm

  I have a 6 month old and my problem is that as soon as I place her down to sleep around 09 or 10. She still wants to be up. She cries and then falls asleep, but only for 10 to 15 minutes. She wakes up again as if she had never stopped crying. Her naps through out the day do not even up to an hour. Should I be concern due to her lack of sleep?

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• 24 sarah // Mar 31, 2009 at 4:28 pm

  my son jake is good in the day when it comes to bed time he is a night mare he settles in his buggy then we carry him to bed but he wakes several times in the night just moaning and wrigling and wont settle back hope you can solve this for us .

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• 25 Tiffany // Mar 31, 2009 at 4:35 pm

  Dana,

  I have been working with savannah on her bedtime routine and found one that has beed working. It is still between 10 and 11pm before she fall’s asleep. But she sit’s in her own bed. Thank you for your advice. I have a question about our 4yr Katarina. She has started hitting and pitting people. What can we do about this behavior? I have also cought her touching herself. What can we do about that? Please help.

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• 26 Jennifer // Mar 31, 2009 at 4:39 pm

  Hi Dana,

  I have a 7 month old and I breastfed him until he was around 6 months old. I had him co sleep with me and he nursed through the night. Now that I am no longer breastfeeding him I would like him to be in his crib to sleep. I have started him on a night time routine and he will go to sleep in his crib but wakes up about an hour and half to 2 hrs. later and he refuses to go to sleep again in his crib. About twice I was accually able to get him back to sleep but he woke up an hour later. He wants to come back to bed with me and nurse, I am still producing milk but not a lot. He will fall asleep at the breast but then if he wakes up again he wants to suck again. I have tried a pacifier and he wont take it, I have tried giving him a bottle but he still wants to nurse/suck. I have been able to get him to fall back asleep without the sucking by patting him on the back and covering up, but that doesn’t happen too often. Is there anything I can do to stop this, I am a very light sleeper and when he moves I wake up and it takes me forever to fall back asleep and he moves alot.

  Thank you so much,

  Jennifer

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• 27 Amy // Mar 31, 2009 at 5:30 pm

  We recently moved from a house to an apartment. We had our son who is now 13mo old sleeping alone in his crib when we lived in the house. But since we moved he has been waking up at 10:30ish crying to come and sleep in our bed. We have aloud this because we don’t know how to handle the apartment situation and crying. If we stay in the room with him he screams more. We put him to bed between 7:30 and 8pm. My husband and I aren’t getting much sleep anymore. Especially me, I just want him to sleep on his own.
  Please Help.

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• 28 Mo // Mar 31, 2009 at 5:44 pm

  Hi Dana,

  I have an 18mo old boy and he is as most toddlers is super active!

  From the beginning he has never been a good sleeper. At this point, I do have him sleeping in his own crib for naps and at nighttime. He takes a 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day and then for night time we have our routine and I put him in his bed awake and console him by either holding his hand talking to him for a few minutes. I ALWAYS stop the consoling before he sleeps so that he can fall asleep on his own (which he does). When I’m ready to go to bed, I’ve gotten in the habit of sleeping in his floor so that when he wakes up in the middle of the night it’s easier for me to talk/pat his back to sleep again. My problem is that I want him to stop waking up at night. I thought that if he fell asleep on his own, he’d sleep through the night. How do I wean him off of having me there in the room with him? I want to get back into my OWN bed!

  Thanks!

  Mo

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• 29 Vanja // Mar 31, 2009 at 6:53 pm

  I am a single mother and I wanted to keep the crib next to my bed. I bought Sleep Sense when my son was 5 months old and it worked perfectly. At 2yrs, I had to send him away for a month to stay with my parents as nanny quit work suddenly so I needed time to figure out what to do. Even though I bought a new canvas crib to go along, my parents preferred to bring him in the bed with them because it made all three of them very happy. When he returned, of course, he would not sleep in the crib any more. I tried putting him back once he was sleepy or asleep but it didn’t work. I decided to let him sleep with me because: he sleeps normally, we spend only a few hours together during the day and finally, he had too many changes this year, 7 nannies and grandparents baby sitting him. I thought he deserved a little stability for a while. All of a sudden, he started to be afraid of everything, of the dark, of the shower, unknown people, potty, wind, caracters from cartoons…I was just about to buy a kid’s bed and put it next to mine to start changing the habit, but would it be sensible of me to insist if he is really scared? Would I only deepen his insecurity?

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• 30 Jaime // Mar 31, 2009 at 8:33 pm

  Almost everything I read, including SleepSense, recommends putting a child down when they are drowsy. Our (almost) 4 month old daughter gets drowsy fairly quickly sometimes when rocking her or finishing eating and then when we try placing her in her crib her eyes pop open, she laughs, coos and thinks we are playing with her. I smile at her, tell her it’s time to sleep and pat her back, but it doesn’t seem to go anywhere towards her getting to sleep. She eventually just screams when we leave or starts crying while we’re there but I don’t want to leave her there too long with us there and think that it’s a fun place. If we wait until she’s asleep and then put her in then she’s only asleep for about 20 minutes before she is up again and patting her back doesn’t get her back to sleep. Also, she never (not for naps or bedtime) puts her head down no matter how tired she may be at times. I’m on a constant roller coaster or rocking her to sleep every 2 hours or so before she gets overtired with one stroller walk for my sanity mixed in. It’s draining and exhausting and even when I get her to sleep if I’m indoors then I have to hold her for the 1.5 - 2 hours otherwise she’ll wake up sooner and then she becomes easily overtired. How do I get some time back to myself during the day for her naps? Night-time works for us right now - I nurse her and then she wakes only twice during the night and we’re both well rested next morning. Please help me get her nap times back to myself!! Maybe then my husband and I can spend some much needed time together on the weekends instead of switching off who holds our daughter Sara!!

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• 31 Bethany // Mar 31, 2009 at 8:37 pm

  My son is 23 months and my husband and i can’t get him to go to sleep. when he was younger he slept fine, then at about 18 months he started to hate his crib. he would cry if he got near it, so we bought a toddler bed and for the first little while he slept in it fine. but for the last 2 months he won’t go to sleep before 11:00. and he does get up at least once in the night but he usually goes back to sleep when I take him back to his bed. We have tried everything to get him to go to bed earlier. we even tried holding him or letting him sleep with us but he will not go to sleep before 11:00. we try and do a routine , we start at about 8:00 but it doesn’t work and if he does fall asleep around 9:00 he will wake up at 12:00 and want to play. we just want our son to go to sleep at an early hour and stay asleep.

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• 32 hannah // Apr 1, 2009 at 12:04 am

  hi Dana:
  I tried to do what you said about putting Maya in her crib and be around her, I stayed for 1hour and half but it didnt work, and she continued to cry non stop for the whole time. I found that every time I put her in her crib she poops, because she is afraid. I have this feeling that she hates her crib.
  I want you to know that I tried to put Maya during the day time with her toys in her crib to play but she refused…what should I do?

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• 33 Catherine // Apr 1, 2009 at 12:53 am

  Hi there
  My son is nearly 16 months old and still isnt sleeping through the night. He has to have a bottle to go to sleep at bed time and his day nap. Every now and then we get lucky with an all night sleep but only maybe once a month. He goes to bed between 7.30 - 8.00. When he wakes in the night he will sometimes go back to sleep with just a roll over and pat on the back but other times I have to cuddle him or give hima bottle if he wont settle and the last few nights even that hasnt made a difference and he has been in our bed. I dont think he looks for the bottle for a feed its more of a comforting thing for him. I cant figure out why he might be waking in the night as no 2 nights are ever the same. Could you please advise me what to do to get out of the bottles for sleeping and to have a great nights sleep. I am super tired and cant wait for a full nights sleep.

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• 34 Katie // Apr 1, 2009 at 8:18 am

  Hi Dana, your website is pretty informative, and I just watched how to get your baby out of your bed. My 9 mth old baby boy has been getting woken at early hours of the morning (4.30am) by the truck across the road reversing out. Normally I would just get him out of his cot and bring him into our room to go back to sleep between us…..PROBLEMS!!!!!!! I think that he thinks now if he wakes up during the night he can come into our room! I’ve done this the last 2 nights (12.30am and 1.50am) then when he drifts off, I take him back to his room. It only takes 10 mins or so for him to drift back off….but I want my all night sleeper back! He started putting himself to sleep about 8 weeks ago…and has a dummy at bed time. Thanks

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• 35 Stephanie // Apr 1, 2009 at 12:43 pm

  I am having a tough time getting my 10 month old girl to sleep. I have been either nursing or rocking her to sleep and it hasn’t bothered me until recently. She seems to fight sleep and it is getting harder to “get her to sleep”. I really want her to be able to fall asleep on her own and I know now that what I have been doing is almost all wrong.

  Once she is asleep though, she sleeps for up to 6 hours. I nurse her twice in the night and she quickly falls back to sleep (and so do I). During this time I often notice that she has gas. I this what is waking her at night? She has gotten herself back to sleep on her own occasionally. I have heard her cry, and in a few minutes she is quit, sleeping again.

  We start the bedtime routine at 7. She goes to sleep usually around 7:30, wakes up at 1:30 and again anytime from 3:30-6 (this is when I’ll nurse), and is up around 7am. Also, she naps once or twice a day usually for 1.5 - 2 hours.

  My problem is: when I try setting her in her crib sleepy but awake, often she rolls onto her back (from her side), looks up at me with a big smile and thinks its play time. She kicks her legs and doesn’t seem sleepy at all anymore. I leave the room and check in on her after that. She makes really happy noises for a while but eventually she gets upset and I resort back to rocking or nursing. It doesn’t help to comfort her by talking or rubbing her back. This seems to make it worse. And I can’t just leave her to cry because it gets so intense that she chokes and coughs.

  I haven’t heard of any other mothers having a baby that wants to party when put down to sleep. Can you help?

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• 36 Elizabeth // Apr 1, 2009 at 3:19 pm

  Dear Dana,

  Our baby boy is 11 months old. He usually wakes up 2 times at night and we are trying your methods to get him to self sooth himself back to sleep. He used to fall asleep for naps and bed time on his own. But the last couple of weeks he has learned to pull himself up and stand in the crib which is in a corner of our bedroom. The other day I lowered the crib mattress so he won’t fall out. He was present when I lowered the crib mattress and I let him play with, and sit on the mattress, so there were no surprise come nap and bedtime. Since then he will no longer fall asleep by himself. When we lay him down we give him a softie blanket and tell him it’s nite nite. He instantly stands up and starts crying. I rub his back and hold his hand for a few minutes and then tell him nite nite and I leave the room (I usually do this for about an hour which is how long the nap usually is) but he screams until I come back in and “rescue” him from his bed. So nap time is being pushed back farther into the afternoon (3-5) How do I get him to like his bed again?

  Our night time routine needs some help also. We have two older children who have evening activities that we have to run them to, so baby doesn’t always have the same bed time. Should I move bedtime from 7:00 back to 9:00 pm to get a more consistent bed time?

  Thank you very much for your time.

  Sincerely Elizabeth and Stirling

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• 37 Kim // Apr 1, 2009 at 3:34 pm

  Hi!

  I started your program during my spring break, because I’m a teacher, and I figured that I would have a lot of sleepless nights.

  My 5 month old was sleeping with us and is now doing pretty well sleeping in his crib. We’ll have 2 or 3 good nights and then he’ll wake every 2-3 hours. I’m sure that is very normal for some time.

  My main problem is that he doesn’t nap during the day. I tried letting him cry-it-out during my spring break, but he would cry nonstop. I would pick him up, wait 20 minutes, or so and then try again. It started to affect bedtime, so I thought maybe I should just focus on him being in his crib for the first time, falling asleep on his own, instead of naps.

  Needless to say, I know that it is very important for him to rest during the day. On the weekends, he will sleep for me if I hold him. As soon as I put him down, he wakes up. I did try putting him down while he was still alert, but immediately he would start crying hysterically.

  The other issue that I have is that he’s with my mom during the week at my house. She’s not able to carry him up and down the stairs for naps, so I’m not for sure if that will also be an issue for naps because he will not be sleeping in his crib. He will only sleep for 5 minutes, or so and that’s it. Also, how many naps and for how long, do you think a 5 1/2 month old - who is 18 pounds???

  The other issue that I keep dealing with iis that many friends, etc. will tell me that he may not be a napper. They will tell me that their child was not a napper. I really don’t feel that way. I just need to know how to train him to be a good napper.

  THANKS so much for your help!!! He so needs it.
  Kim

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• 38 Elisha // Apr 1, 2009 at 6:08 pm

  My 14 month old used to sleep from 7pm to 6am (I was so lucky!!). Now all of a sudden she wakes up at 4am and refuses to go back to sleep. I have changed her bed time to 8pm but it hasn’t made any difference. She settles herself to sleep very well except for when she wakes at 4am. I’m also not sure how much sleep she should be getting during the day. She usually has 2 naps of around 1 to 1.5 hours. I am due to have my second in a couple of months and am terrified I’m not going to cope with so little sleep. Please help….

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• 39 Derek Gracie // Apr 2, 2009 at 8:45 am

  Tobias is 2 years 7 months he has never slept much he is in his own room but if he sleeps during the day then its at least 9pm before he will be tired and he fights till the end to go to sleep and then still wakes at least 3 times for juice and to come into mum and dads bed. For a little while he was starting to only wake once at night but it has started to be 2 -3 times again and we now need help.

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• 40 Kimberly // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:14 pm

  I went throw a very smiler sleeping pattern with my Daughter (now 21 months old) and it took me till she was 19 months to finally get her to sleep in her own room and bed with out a fuss!

  I should mention that her room is connected to mine and when the door is open she has full view of my bed.

  my back story: I’m a single mother, & I am still breast feeding my daughter. When she was first born i found it easier for me to get some sleep i just kept her in the bed with me. then at 10 months i tried the crib but she hated it….. it did not work at all. so i tried putting her in the spare room in a single bed… i would nurse her to sleep then i would get up and leave the room.
  that seemed to work until she became to mobile and i would find her in the middle of the bedroom floor during the night (please note she was climbing down, not falling off the bed)
  so then i started to bring her back in my bed just so i knew she was safe!
  they we went back and forth between my bed, her crib and the single bed for MONTHS after!!!!!
  finally when she turned 18months i took the crib out of her room and gave her a toddler bed.

  it took a couple weeks for her to get use to it but now she is fin sleeping in it all night with out me.
  (however she still wakes up in the night for feedings)

  she also has now become attached to 2 stuff animals which help her with the separation between us.

  I hope that this helps some one else…

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• 41 Jessica // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:16 pm

  My 5 month old baby is taking the dreaded 45 minute naps. My older son did the same thing when he was the same age. I know he needs to sleep longer, at least most of the time. Sometimes he falls back to sleep with a little encouragement, other times, it is hopeless. What is making him wake up so suddenly at 45 minutes (to the dot!) into his nap? Any advice? Some people say, “oh he just doesn’t need that much sleep” others say, let him cry it out so he gets at least and hour and a half of sleep each nap. What is your recommendation? Thanks!

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• 42 Aminah // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:16 pm

  Hi Dana,
  My Daughter is 23 months old and she wants to sleep with us in our bed. We know it’s out fault for letting her in the past, but we have been trying for months to get her out and it’s up and down. She wakes usually twice a night and we know we have to flip her twice a night b/c she is physically challenged and cannot change positions on her own. I have gotten her to the point where she will fall asleep without me ciddling her, but I have to be in the bed with her, but the issue is getting her back to sleep when she wakes up at night. It takes hours and even if I lay beside her and reassure her she screams for 1 to 3 hours. I have a baby on the way soon and I don’t know how to manage this with 2! Everything that worked for my friends doesn’t seem to work for my daughter.

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• 43 Angela // Apr 2, 2009 at 5:11 pm

  Hi Dana,
  First of all, thank you for your sleep tips!
  My one yr old daughter, Ariana, takes two naps a day lasting around 1 1/2 hours each. For her morning nap she usually gets a bottle & we rock until she’s asleep. I run a daycare, so I’ve had a hard time letting her cry as she wakes the others up. For her afternoon nap, we’ve broke the need for a bottle & I lay her down in her Pack-N-Play (she still sleeps in our room) while she’s still awake. She usually cries for 5 minutes & is out. For bedtime, she drinks her bottle while I put her pjs on, & we rock for awhile. Some nights she falls asleep in my arms, some nights I lay her down as soon as she’s relaxed. She will usually sleep until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning by herself, & then wants a bottle & to sleep with my husband & I. It seems if I let her cry it out at this time, she wakes up many times during the rest of the night terrified.
  Am I confusing her by rocking her to sleep at times, & not others? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!!

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• 44 Amanda // Apr 2, 2009 at 7:26 pm

  My son is 10 months old and has never slept through the night. He wakes up 2-4 times a night wanting to nurse back to sleep. He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8p and wakes up at around 7am. My husband and I have tried holding him to put him back to sleep, and well as me holding him with the pacifier in his mouth to make him think he is nursing and he just stares up at me until I feed him. And when I do give in and nurse him, he’ll nurse for about 30 sec., go back to sleep and then we put him back in his crib. He obviously isn’t hungry because he falls asleep so quickly. I know he needs his sleep, but I’m dying during they day because I have no energy from waking up so much during the night. What can I do to help him sleep through the night? Please help!

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• 45 Michelle // Apr 2, 2009 at 11:22 pm

  My son is 10 months old. We want some guidance on helping him to sleep better. He currently begins his night time sleep at 7:30pm. He then wakes hourly for the first three hours, and then every 1.5 - 2 hours until 7.30am. I nurse him back to sleep. Each time we have tried a different method, eg dad rocking him, leaving him in his crib, he becomes hysterical within minutes, and is inconsolable for at least 30 minutes. His crib is in our room, however by midnight I am exhausted and find it easier to have him in bed with us, given he wakes so frequently and goes back to sleep within 10 minutes of nursing. Ideally, we would like him to sleep in his crib, self-sooth to sleep and sleep the night through. He does not nurse to sleep in the day. He sits on my lap until he falls asleep, however if I put him in his crib if he is sleepy, yet awake, he becomes hysterical. Where do we begin??

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• 46 Elizabeth // Apr 3, 2009 at 12:53 am

  Hi Dana,
  My son Jayden is about to reach his one year birthday and he is not sleeping more than an hour on his naps and during his bedtime at night. Jayden maybe sleeps a total of five hours through the course of the entire day and those hours are broken up between naps and actual nightime sleeping. I’ve tried your solutions / suggestions on developing other ways to put him to sleep and I seem to be having more trouble with him during the past two nights, where instead of him falling asleep in his crib - he’ll just start playing for two hours and then I’ll have to pick him up and nurse him in order for him to fall asleep. Jayden used to be able to fall asleep during nursing at night and now he just refuses. I was wondering if I should just start to nurse him once prior to bedtime and then try regular / baby food during the daytime to help me out with this problem. Do you have any suggestions as to what else I may try in helping him fall asleep for longer periods. Jayden usually takes his bath 1 hour before bedtime and I usually try to put him to sleep at around 7:00 pm (my time), but for the last two days - with trying your method, he is now (barely) falling to sleep at around 9:00pm (just playing in his crib before he begins to cry). Can you please offer me some other guidance on what I can do about his sleeping issue…….I wish I could just get a solid couple of hours of sleep…. Thank you for all your help.

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• 47 Amanda Turner // Apr 3, 2009 at 4:52 pm

  I have a 4 year old who still wakes up in the night and a 17 month old who is sleeping in our bed and waking hourly to nurse. I would like them both sleeping through the night but my biggest problem now is my toddler. How do I wean him from night nursing, should it be gradual or do you recommend going “cold turkey.” We want to move him to his crib but it is in our room now and the only other option is his sister’s room. Would it be better to keep him in our room as we transition him to the crib or put him in his sister’s room? My concern with his sister’s room is that we will have to move her out of there in the initial crying phase and then she will get comfortable in our room and we will have another problem on our hands! I have read your book but was not sure about the solution to our specific scenario. Thanks!

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• 48 Tatyana // Apr 3, 2009 at 9:45 pm

  Hi Dana,

  Our little girl Elena is turning 2 this month. It’s been always a challange to get her to sleep. When she was a newborn - she was colicky, then by 5-6 months she seemed to do better at night, (fall asleep on her own, without a soother or me in her room), but then we started having problems with her naps! It used to take me 40 min to 1:30 to get her to sleep! And even then it didn’t work sometimes. Then when she turned 10 months we started having problems with her at night. She hated her crib all of a sudden! I tried rocking her, and she would be sound asleep, but you could not put her back down in the crib! She’d wake up at once, stand up in the crib and cry hysterically until she’d throw up! It happened more then a few times, so we kind of gave in and let her fall asleep with one of us on the queen size bed and then sneak out of the room. She would still wake up at night for a few times (2 - if we “lucky” and 6 - if it’s a bad night). When my Mom was visiting she co-slept with Elena for 6 months. She said that Elena would get up to check if someone was in bed with her (even touch sometimes) and go right back down. Well, my Mom left and we simply can’t function like this anymore! If she wakes up at night, she gets out of the room and waits by the stairs for one of us to come and put her back down. We have our bedrooms on separate levels and it’s a nightmare go up and down all night long.

  Finally, a few weeks ago (after I lay in bed with her for 1.5 hrs and she still wasn’t asleep) we had a little “family conversation”. We told her that she is a big girl and has to sleep on her own. It feels like we’ve made some progress, she finally is falling asleep on her own at night and during a day. She is still waking up at night (sometimes she puts herself back down), but mostly we have to go in and just be present in the room. But at 2 or 3am it’s very challenging and now she can stay awake until 5 or 6 in the morning!! Poor thing is exhausted herself, she tries hard to fall asleep but can’t for some reason. We did give in after couple of nights like that and slept with her again.

  After reading your book (that we’ve purchased a few days ago) we decided to introduce the crib again (it seems like not a good idea, considering her age- 2years). This way she won’t be able to leave the room. To my surprise she is taking a nap in it right now (it’s been almost 3 hours). We’ll start following your program tomorrow and see where it takes us.

  How do we get her to stay asleep for the night? She does have a stuffed animal, but she is still insecure. At least we think that’s the reason of her waking up. We’ve tried the night light, modified “cry out” method - nothing works. We’ll try now putting her to bed earlier between 7-8pm. What I want to ask is, how can she get 10+ hours of uninterrupted sleep? Sorry for such a long letter, but I feel that it is important that you know as much as possible.

  Sincerely,

  Tatyana

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• 49 Tina // Apr 5, 2009 at 8:56 am

  Dana,
  My daughter Hollie is now 7 months old and has been sleeping in her own cot in her own bedroom since she was 5 months old. My problem is that at around midnight she wakes up and cries. SWhe only stops crying when I get up to put her dummy back in her mouth. This goes on every hour all night! Please help. I dont have any problems with her going off to sleep when I put her down initially. I feel that I have a good night time routine established, it’s just this night time waking and by now im exhausted!

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• 50 kathy // Apr 5, 2009 at 9:05 am

  My daughter is 2years and 4 months old. I took her out of the crib and put her into a child’s bed three months ago when she would scream when I put her in the crib and wake up all night sceaming. I also did the routine before bed and she started sleeping throught the night. On certain nights she will wake up and crawl into bed with me but I put her straight back and tell her she must sleep in her bed. How can I stop her from coming into my bed and how can I not get out of the room after the night routine as she cries as soon as I leave the room. I also am not able to get her to nap and she tends to fall asleep on her own sometimes too late. When she falls asleep between 11 and 1 she is fine at bed time but if she falls asleep later she won’t stay in bed.

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• 51 Tara // Apr 5, 2009 at 9:26 am

  My 6 month old has slept through the night only two times. He is in his crib. Lately he has been waking up screaming, stiffening his body, etc. He does not want to lie down, even if I put him in the bed with me. He is getting his 6th tooth. I am thinking he is teething but I have tried everything I can think of to relieve some of that pressure. I took him to the doctor thinking he had an ear infection but he does not. I am exhausted and do not know if anyone has experienced this same issue. Is it teething, does he just want attention, etc.?

  Thanks!

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• 52 Alisha // Apr 6, 2009 at 8:09 pm

  My baby just turned 4 months old and he will not go to sleep anywhere but in his cradle, even car rides don’t put him to sleep. We can’t take him anywhere because when we go out he gets tired and refuses to go to sleep without being rocked in the cradle. He just cries continually. I will be taking him and my 4 year old to visit my parents out of state in just a few weeks. I am terrified that he will cry the whole time and that no one will be able to enjoy the visit. I am especially worried about naps. We have an established bed time routine which includes a bath, bottle and music which works well most of the time but he still needs to be rocked to sleep. He still wakes up about 3 times a night for a bottle and sometimes has to be rocked back to sleep in his cradle after he is done. What can I do to transition him to a crib without everyone losing sleep? He sleeps in the same room as his older brother and moving him to his own room is not an option.

  Thanks!

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• 53 Katherine // Apr 7, 2009 at 9:06 am

  My 25 month old daughter goes to bed fine on her own. I put her down awake and she goes off to sleep.

  She wakes at some point during the night and won’t settle with out me lying with her (either in her bed or ours!).

  I have tried laying on her bed and sneaking out when she falls back to sleep. However as soon as she wakes again we have to start all-over again. I’m usually too tired and she comes into bed with us.

  If my husband gets up with her she screams until I come in.

  We live in a mid-terrace house and we are afraid of disturbing the neighbours if we leave her to cry, and this seems too mean as well on her.

  Please can you help, we are desperate for a good night’s sleep. My husband is studying for some really important exams to help his career and lack of sleep is really effecting his revision.

  thanks

  Sleepy mummy (Katherine)

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• 54 Lucy // Apr 7, 2009 at 9:58 am

  Hi Dana…
  I have a 11 mth old baby girl who is just full of energy and getting her to sleep exhausts me. I dread bed time every night. My husband and I don’t have quality time together anymore. My little angel doesn’t NOT want to sleep ubless she is on my bed. She hates her crib. I tried everything and I am worn out. sometimes she is still up at midnight. What do I do??? as I said I tried everything. One night she cried so much she vomitted in her crib, it was horrible. please help me!!!!

  Lucy

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• 55 Melissa Barton // Apr 15, 2009 at 4:05 pm

  My daughter is 20 months and since we got her a toddler bed she only sleeps for a few hours in her own bed and then comes crying into our room wanting to get into our bed,which in the middle of our sleep we let her,she then sleeps fine for the rest of the night with us,how do we stop this,thanks Melissa

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• 56 Mikala // Apr 28, 2009 at 5:50 pm

  My 9month old baby has never slept through the night although she has slept better then she has now. She wakes up about an hour after going down to bed and then another 4 to 5 times after that during the night. Shes put to bed awake and falls asleep by herself and she has a very strict bedtime routine. When she wakes up the first time I can usually get her back to sleep pretty quickly by stroking her head or tummy. But after that it is almost impossible unless I breast feed her which is my last resort. She can scream from 11pm-3 or 4am so by this stage after going in every half n hour or so to settle her I end up feeding her and she goes back to sleep or if i put her into bed with us she will go back to sleep. It seems anything i try to get her to sleep through or better isn’t working apart from feeding which I know is making her think she needs it to fall asleep again. This has been going on for at least 2 months now and I cant seem to break the habit.
  Any advice would be a great help, thanks!!

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