Click on the ‘Play’ button above to start video!
Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question comes from Elise:
“Josh used to sleep in his cot through the night then all of a sudden he would not and we had to start bringing him to bed with us. Now, he will not go back in his cot and he won’t fall asleep unless one of us holds him before lying him down. Help us get back to the old routine?”
I am not sure how old Josh is, but I am guessing he is around six 6 months and that tends to be an age where a baby becomes much more aware of their environment, much more aware of their sleep strategies. I have many clients phone up when their child is around six months, saying “He used to sleep great and now everything has gone bad.”
It usually has to do with how they are getting themselves to sleep at night and one thing you would mentioned in your question is that you hold him until he falls a sleep and then you try to transfer him to the crib. Well, nine times out of 10 that is just not going to work. Everybody is very aware of their environment when they sleep so if you fall asleep on the couch and end in up in your bed, you are probably going to wake up feeling fairly alarmed.
Also, in transferring, remember that they were nice and cozy in your arms and now you are trying to transfer them to the crib. Usually, they wake up on route or just a few minutes after they finally get in to the crib so I would just stop doing that all together. It is not very effective way to teach a child to sleep well.
You can start at bedtime by making sure you’ve got a routine in place that outlines the steps really clearly. Consider a bath, getting into pajamas, having a feed then into the crib awake. No more holding or rocking to sleep then and the good news is that Josh used to sleep well so somewhere in his mind he knows how to do this and that tends to make a little bit easier when you are trying to get a child back on track. He has got those skills. He knows what they are. It is just a matter of pushing him back in the right direction.
Make sure he goes into the crib awake and then I suggest you use the stay-in-the-room method that is outlined in the Sleep Sense Program. Using this method, you can be present and you are being supportive but you are not interfering in his skill development. He has got to learn a new way to get himself to sleep and independent of being held and you can be supportive while he figures those things out.
With night waking, you do not want to at decide that he can come to bed with you because that is just going to confuse him. I have had many clients who say “Well, we will not let him come to be bed with us unless it is at least 4 a.m.” Your child will impulsively keep waking up at various times to see it is still night or if it is time where they get to come to bed with mom. It really is an all or nothing situation and if you want him in his crib that is where he should be spending the entire night. For night waking we would suggest you go in and pop back in to your chair at the side of his crib. You are being supportive and you should wait him out until he is back to sleep, gradually working your way out of his bedroom. You already know he can do this because he used to, so get him back on track at least.
Thanks for your question and sleep well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
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87 responses so far ↓
1 Debbie // Aug 19, 2008 at 4:15 pm
my 11 month old son sleeps perfectly at night, but he hasn’t ever been a good napper. at nighttime, he goes into his crib awake and puts himself to sleep. he also falls back to sleep on his own during the night when he wakes up. as far as daytime sleep goes, he will only nap in the stoller, his carseat, or with me. in those situations he will sleep from 30 minutes to 2 hours, but he won’t fall asleep on his own in his crib during the day. any suggestions???
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2 Victoria Feliz // Aug 19, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Hi. I just saw the video about How to get baby to sleep in his bed.
I have the same problem. However, my concern is that if I do what you are suggenting, my baby (12 months) will stand up in her crib to look at me and crying very loud until I pick her up. She is use to be held to sleep.
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3 Leah // Aug 19, 2008 at 4:23 pm
My 10.5 month old son sleeps through the night. on occasion he does wake, but it does not seem to be an issue, The most recent issue is that he is now waking at 5am every morning, when he used to wake up at 7 or 8am. How do I get him to sleep longer? We have tried keeping him up later, but it does not matter. Any suggestions. Thanks.
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4 Nikki Munro // Aug 19, 2008 at 4:24 pm
My 3 yr old son use to sleep exceptionally well up until a couple months ago when he would get up twice a night approx 4 hours apart. We would routine his bed time at 7 pm and that would be it. Now its routine at 7.30 pm so that hes completely ready and he wakes up and comes to our room to be put back into his bed at approx 11-12 pm and then at 3-4 am. Its lik ehavinga new born all over again and its tiring. We took away his night light thinking it tricks his body, we keep the door open so he doesnt wake the whole house when he used to knock on his door. We no longer talk to him when he does get up and he refuses to go back to bed on his own..we have to tuck him in again.
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5 Amanda // Aug 19, 2008 at 4:29 pm
My son just turned three and has now taken to coming in our room and sleeping on the floor in the middle of the night. He screams and cries if we try to take him back to his room, and he will not stay in his room. The problem started when our smoke alarm went off in the middle of the night. It scared him to death and he came to our room seeking comfort. Since then it has become a habit. he WILL go to sleep in his own room at bedtime, but will only sleep on the floor. What can we do?
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6 harini // Aug 19, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Hi… my son is 1 yr old. till he was 10months old, he used to sleep beside me and whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night i used to nurse him and he would fall asleep like that. i weaned him a month back and now he sleeps in his amby bed… but that calls for rocking him through out the night whenever he wakes up… i want him to get out of all these stuffs and develop a good sleeping habit without any of our assistance… and I dont prefer putting him in a crib or his own cot… I want him to be a co-sleeper and at the same time he should be putting himself to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. thanks.
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7 heidi mcdonnell // Aug 19, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Hi Dana,
I guess my question is similar to the last one. My daughter who is now 6 months was sick for a while and had a bad tummy and would wake up between 3-5am and had done a poo. We got up and chnaged her and gave her a bottle and now when she is well she still wakes up at that time even when she has not done a poo. I am tired and dont want to get up at that time anymore. How do I get her to sleep past that and I know she has developed a habit to wake at the same time now and expect a bottle.
Thanks
Heidi McDonnell
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8 Robin // Aug 19, 2008 at 5:24 pm
My two year old son has not been a good sleeper. He is always twitching in his sleep and wakes himself up. He wakes about 5 times thru-out the night and screams for me. I do not go in there to put him back to sleep unless it goes on for a long time, for the most part he goes back to sleep after a little while. Is there soemthing i can be doing to help him not wake up so much in the middle of the night, i have white noise on and even give him a cup of water in his crib with him, he did use a pacifier until he turned two which was five months ago. Help!
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9 claire // Aug 19, 2008 at 5:36 pm
i have taken loads of your advice on board and it has been fantastic!! i was just wondering though how i can shorten the time i have to spend by my daughter maris’s cot. it has been 4 weeks now and it can take anything from 20mins to over an hour is this normal? shes 9mths old.i find myself playing a game of cat and mouse with her throwing her dummy out the cot and me picking it up i do not give her any eye contact i just pick it up and place it at the end of the cot and she gets it herself. the trouble is she wont sleep without it. im gettin frustrated thinking out chores i need 2 do in the house when im sitting there for an hour as during the day she gets my undivided attention.
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10 Kim Steel // Aug 19, 2008 at 6:14 pm
My baby used to be the best sleeper, we have returned from Scotland to Australia 5 days ago, he still is waking constantly at night, we brought him into our bed for the first few nights as he was awake so much. Now he screams and screams until he is in with us, then sleeps off and on during the night. Any tips to get them over jet lag. I will follow the above steps to get him back into his own bed.
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11 Donna // Aug 19, 2008 at 7:17 pm
I too have a 10 1/2 month old that won’t self settle, he needs to be rocked and yes, he wakes a few minutes after putting him down. He sleeps well through the day, usually 1 1/2 hrs each of 2 naps, still needing rocking to start the nap. But at night he is waking every 2 or so hours. I am exhausted and at my wits end as to what to do, as he will stand at the side and rock his cot or sit and whinge. He hasn’t had a dummy since 4 months and does not feed through the night, going to bed about 7pm and finally up between 5 and 6am.
Please help.
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12 delphine meyer // Aug 19, 2008 at 7:20 pm
My baby is 2 month old i rock her until she fells asleep at night. Is it a bad habit? when should I put her to bed when she is still awake and teach to fall asleep on her own?
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13 katie // Aug 19, 2008 at 7:29 pm
ummm. i’m having a problem with this paci thing. She is now 17 months old. (She just turned 17 months on the 16 of AUG.) Should i keep her on her paci or let her get off of it when she’s ready i’m thinking like 2 years old. Should i take her off of it now or should i wait to take her off of it i’m very scared about taking her off of it. and the other thing is that i let her suck on it all day long is this a problem or should i just put her to bed and nap with it or just take her off of it for good or just wean her off of it.
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14 Laura // Aug 19, 2008 at 7:31 pm
My daughter is 10 months old and when she was first born she had a bassinet that I would have next to my bed. She had terrible GERD and would be writhing for most of the night and also whining while she was half asleep. It was very distressing to me to see her in obvious discomfort. I found that the only way to have her have peaceful night without writhing was to put her on my chest and sleep with her. I was breastfeedinig at the time. I found that I had to start bottle feeding her. That worked after a while and she eventually grew out of the GERD. I also like the co sleeping. She sleeps through the whole entire night doing that. I tried to get her to sleep in her crib but I think I have trained her to sleep in the bed with me. It was very tiring to try and get her to sleep on her own. I cannot put her in her crib awake and get her to fall asleep on her own. She does not get a good nights sleep that way, and neither do I! I wonder if she will eventually go into her own bed and sleep?
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15 Gina // Aug 19, 2008 at 7:43 pm
My daugher Jaime is almost 1 year old and has never slept through the night. She gets up 2 times to nurse and then goes right back to sleep. I am exhausted and want her to sleep all night long. Is there anything I can do to try to help this along. I don’t know if she is really hungry or if it is just a comfort thing. I am very reluctant to give her formula as well. I would like to keep breast feeding for another couple of months even if it is just in the evening.
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16 Shannon Ortiz // Aug 19, 2008 at 8:24 pm
My 2 month old has acid reflux and does not like to sleep flat. She is most comfortable in her car seat and has become accustomed to sleeping/napping in her seat. We have tried sleep wedges, but to no avail. She puts herself to sleep without much fuss and falls back to sleep when she wakes through the night when she is in her seat. She sleeps in her car seat in her crib. I am just concerned about long-term effects and not being able to transition her out of the seat. Her doctor says not to worry, that once she gets older she is going to want to stretch out and sleep flat. Any suggestions or reason for concern?
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17 beth // Aug 19, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I am a nanny of twin 19 month old twins. Except when newborn they don’t sleep in the same bed or bedroom. Both girls need to be held, bottle or breast feed before sleep. They both wake at least 3 times a night. One child sleeps with mom and nurses all night and they other sleeps in the crib in the next room. She has now taken to screaming in the middle of the night to get someone to respond. Both girls do not have the skills to put themselves to sleep. The mother uses the no cry method and won’t let crying or distress happen.
As a nanny of 25 years i feel my hands are tied and these parents are never going to get any rest and the girls won’t be able to self soothe in any way. Please respond, your advice would be appreciated.
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18 Tina Williams // Aug 19, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Antonella is 13 months old. She has done wonderful with your book. But recently it is taking her 1 1/2 hrs to fall asleep at night in her crib. She is just talking away and doesn’t seem to mind she is in her crib I am worried about how much sleep she is getting. She has cut herself to 1 nap from 11:30am-1:30pm so she should be tired at night. Is this enough sleep? If not want should she be doing and what should I do to help it happen?
LOVE your advice…it really works.
Thank you
Tina
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19 DeAnna // Aug 19, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Hi Dana,
Our three month old usually cries himself to sleep but wakes up anywhere from 20-30 minutes later crying. When he wakes up crying, I know he didn’t get enough sleep. Do I go into him and comfort him or allow him to cry himself back to sleep?
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20 Nancy // Aug 19, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I love your advise for the 6 month old…but what about a 2 year old. Taylor can scream so loud that my mom can hear her from across the street.
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21 Sarah // Aug 19, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Hello! My seven month old has never been a great sleeper- waking 3-5 times a night- and will only be consoled by breast feeding. At six months we taught him how to go to sleep on his own- but this is only working for his 7-7:30 bedtime. Do you have any suggestions on how to help him put himself back to sleep in the night and for naps? Thank you so much in advance for any advice…
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22 Cathy // Aug 19, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Hi Dana
My 8 month old dtr Aleah has always slept very well through the night and was able to soothe herself to sleep until about a month ago. She has cut six teeth thus far. Now when I place her in her crib for the night at 8:00 p.m she becomes very upset and cries. If I bring her into bed with me she is fine and hardly even seems to be aware that I am l am laying next to her and drifts off to sleep quickly. She continues to sleep 9 to 10 hours at night. I would like to have her back sleeping in her own bed since I am not feeling rested in the a.m. Aleah usually has a three hour nap during the day in her crib without any problem.
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23 Sweta // Aug 19, 2008 at 10:33 pm
my son is 9month and 1 week he dont got to sleep on his own i have to rock of feed, he cries too badly for feed if i dont he does not sleep again, he wake up every couple of hours but when i make him sleep on his stomach i sleeps bit long. how to make him sleep longer or throughout night. please suggest.Thanks
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24 Kris // Aug 19, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I have almost 12-month old who sleeps in a carseat. She was having immense trouble settling to sleep and waking 2-3 times per night at ~8 months old; we placed in her carseat (within a crib) and she goes to sleep peacefully and sleeps 11-12 hours at night. She sleeps on her side, back, and belly in the carseat and seems quite comfortable; bellers inconsolably and at ear-splitting decibels at any attempt to put her in the crib without the carseat. Suggestions for transitioning her to a flat mattress?
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25 CRYSTAL // Aug 19, 2008 at 10:44 pm
HI. MY BABY IS SIX MONTHS OLD(MY THIRD CHILD) AND HAS ACID REFLUX. SHE HAS STOPPED BREATHING A COUPLE TIMES BECAUSE OF IT. SHE SLEEPS UPRIGHT . I KEEP HER BED RIGHT NEXT TO MINE BECAUSE I’M SO SCARED SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN TO HER. NOW THAT SHE HAS LEARNED TO ROLL OVER SO WELL SHE IS NOT HAPPY PROPPED UP IN HER BED. SHE ENDS UP IN BED WITH ME. I ROCK HER TO SLEEP AND SHE WAKES A HANDFUL OF TIMES TO NURSE BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I’M WORRIED ABOUT HER AND DON’T WANT HER TO HAVE TO CRY HERSELF TO SLEEP. IS THERE ANOTHER WAY?
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26 CRYSTAL // Aug 19, 2008 at 10:51 pm
MY DAUGHTER IS ALMOST 4 YEARS OLD AND REFUSES TO SLEEP. SHE HAS BEEN LIKE THIS FOR SEVEN MONTHS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. I PUT HER STRIAGHT BACK TO BED WITHOUT TALKING AND SHE GETS STRIAGHT BACK UP SCREAMING AND CRYING. SHE DOES NOT GIVE UP! WHEN SHE FINIALLY DOES GO TO SLEEP IT’S 6 A.M. SHE WILL SLEEP UNTIL 10 A.M. I’M SO TIRED. I HAVE READ EVERY BOOK AND TRIED EVERTHING I KNOW TO DO. ABOVE IS MY COMMENT ALSO SO I HAVE TWO CHILDREN WHO DO NOT SLEEP. I THINK SOMETIME MY 6 MONTH OLD WILL NOT SLEEP BECAUSE MY 3 YEAR OLD WAKES HER ALL NIGHT. PLEASE HELP!
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27 rasha // Aug 19, 2008 at 11:10 pm
my 9 month old boy is a very picky sleeper, i don’t hold him or rock him to sleep and he goes to sleep well on his own yet he still wakes up once or twice at night if he loses his dummy. i used to give him a bottle to get him back to sleep but i’ve stoped that and he will go back to sleep if i just give him his dummy HOWEVER he has now learned to pull himself up in his cot but doesn’t know how to get back down and he does this quite often during the day and has just started doin it at 4am too, i can’t do the stay-in-the-room method as he thinks i’m there to pick him up, if i just leave he will settle back but i’m getting tired of going in there 4 times during the day to lay him down again and the same at night. is this normal at this age? is this a phase that will pass?(the standin in the crib) if i just let him cry it out he will go back to sleep within 20 min’s but that guarantees his 2 year old brother will wake (he’s a brilliant sleeper but if he’s waken he’s difficult to console and it ends up being a tag team of crying!!!) not sure what i should do..
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28 Timothy // Aug 19, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Hi there!! My 18 month old son still sleeps in bed with us. He will sleep by himself for naps but not bedtime and my wife is still nursing him. Is there any way you can help us figure out a way to get him to sleep on his own at night and not want to nurse during the night?
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29 Paulina // Aug 19, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Hi !! My eight and a half month old son Gavin has a hard time sleeping at night without breast feeding he just wants to hold it. He has a crib in our room since we don’t have a room just for him, my mother in law ls sick an she moved in with us. My husband is a light sleeper little noise and he can not go back to sleep for the rest of the night thats why when Gavin wakes up at night I pick him up very quickly and lay him next to me that way my husband can get some sleep since he has to work 12 hours. I am tired don’t know what to do I want everybody to be happy my mother in law ,my husband ,my son and myself but how can I do that??????????? Can somebody give me some advice. ( Sorry for my English I am from Poland I learn how to speak English from TV )
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30 Vanessa // Aug 20, 2008 at 12:07 am
hi Dana, I have to say thanks…I’ve started trying your technique on getting my baby out of the night time feeds and I think it might be working, although he still wakes for a feed it seems to be later and later, usually its 9.30ish pm then it was 11pm then around 12.30am and last night 3.30am. I’m keeping him awake and giving him less feed each time so hopefully he will stop soon, I have two issues though. He goes to sleep on his own at night very easily and awake and will only wake as I’ve mentioned but he seems to be waking at around 6.10am - 6.20am and I let him go to try and go back to sleep but his cry is so loud it bothers me so I go and get him because he doesn’t seem to want to go back to sleep, should I? he’s standing up in his cot waiting for me and sometimes throws his blanket out and it’s like he’s waiting for me to pick it up. how do I get him to sleep in longer?
Second question is similar to Debbie’s, my son is 10 1/2 months and for the last few months we’ve travelled then moved house a long distance and he’s in the habit of sleeping during the day in his swing or pram or car but not the cot, he’s screamed himself into an emotional mess the last two times I’ve tried him in there and I’m wondering if I should bother continuing to try and if so how?
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31 Bronwyn // Aug 20, 2008 at 2:20 am
Hi Dana,
My son Blake who is 5 months old is still being wrapped for sleep. This is becoming a big issue as he will not fall asleep without being wrapped up tight and during his sleep he will manage to get out of being wrapped and then he wakes due to his arms moving around. How can he learn to sleep the hole night without needing to be wrapped up tightly?
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32 kirsty // Aug 20, 2008 at 2:47 am
My 8 month old sleeps fine but want to get up at 4.30 in the morning. How can we get him to sleep longer in the morning? He goes to bed at 7.30.
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33 Laura // Aug 20, 2008 at 3:42 am
My 2 year old daughter had been a wonderful sleeper from about 10 weeks old. She’d go 7pm to 7am with daytime naps too, always settling herself to sleep - we’d just pop her in her cot and leave the room.
Now though she has a bed (has had for 2 months) and just last week she started refusing to go to sleep unless one of us was with her - this can take over an hour of sitting by her bed & some evenings much longer. Plus she’s waking at 2am and coming into our bed - another thing she’s never done before.
If we put her back in her bed she literally gets straight back out again !
Why has she forgotten how to settle herself and how can I help her to re-learn ?!
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34 Samantha Cockle // Aug 20, 2008 at 4:20 am
HI Dana Sorry I have not been in touch so much have been going on.
The problem is worse now, Callum is one year old. And it has got to the point where callum comes into our bed and my poor hubby gets out. So not getting much adult time.
I know i have started things wrong and have made arod for my own back and i keep putting things off but i need to sort it out now!!!
Callum haves tea and the bath before 6:45pm, then i have to lie down with him every night till he falls asleep. Then i carefully put him in his cot. We will be lucky if we get the first two hours of him, then he wakes crying, sometimes i can just give him a bottle(which i really wan to stop as well, he has three in the night still). Then after that he could be up every half hour to an hour, so ends up in our bed in order for us to get some sleep. I have tried controlled crying and really can not do it as it pulls on my heart strings. Which other method would you recommend, i have the book but really need some guidance as i am getting desperate. Plus we really would like another child soon, but this has to be sorted out first. I know it is mainly mu fault callum is like this but it is my first child.
please help!!
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35 Maggie T // Aug 20, 2008 at 6:01 am
Hi Dana
my baby is 8months and used to sleep well in her cot. But because she has started to sit ,crawl and stand, when she wakes up she immediately sits up and starts to cry or stands up in her cot. so it is very difficult to put her back to sleep unless i wake up and pick her. Otherwise she will just sit or stand.
This has resulted in her waking up at least 2 to 3 times a night and sometimes we put her in our bed just so i can grab some sleep. When she sleeps with us she ends up sleeping while feeding on the breast. I know that this is becoming a habit which that s not so good.
Help!
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36 Kjersten // Aug 20, 2008 at 7:05 am
Hello! My seven month old is a horrible sleeper and it is most likely my fault. he is use to me rocking him to sleep and breastfeeding him. I can not stand to hear him cry and I am not for the let him cry it out thing so I do not know what else I can do. He will start off in his crib and about 2 hrs later he will scream and will not stop unless I put him in bed with us. I am lucky if he sleeps from 9 to 4 and that is with him waking up at least three times during the night. I know he is not getting enough sleep but this is what he has been doing since he was born and I don’t know what to do. Please help!
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37 Gem // Aug 20, 2008 at 8:02 am
Hi, My little boy (17 months) sleeps in my bed, his daddy then sleeps in the spare bedroom. he also cries in his sleep at least 3-5 times. he hunts for his bottle of water, i wake up at 6:30 everyday and work full time iam always tried. Please help Dana.
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38 Maria // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:05 am
I have just weaned off my 15 month old while being on holiday and since that he has become very clingy and would wake up at night and scream, and scream until I pick him up. Last night I spent 1 1/2 hours just taping his back and sitting next to his cot but in the end felt exhausted and DID pick him up. He screams so loud hat wakes up my other 3year old boy who sleeps in another room. I am trying very hard not to give in but it i very hard to deal with 2 screaming children in the middle of the night. I could move one of them on another floor of the house but I am scared I would create more confusion.
Any suggestions, please?
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39 Heather // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:09 am
Logan is almost 13 months old. He hasn’t slept a full night in his crib since he was 6 or 7 months old. He sleeps with my grandmother. He has a bedtime of between 8 and 9 pm. Usually at about 8 o’clock he will grab his bottle, paci, and blanket and walk to her room, and if the door is open walk to her bed and beat on it until someone puts him in it. He lays down and puts his head on her arm and out he goes. Straight to sleep. We have tried taking him to his crib once he falls asleep but he wakes up an hour later. Not sleeping in his crib isn’t really a big deal to us because he does fall asleep rather well. And his naps are usually great. But here lately he wakes up at 3;00 am wanting to play, doesn’t want to go back to sleep. The he gets out of bed at about 7am every morning. Im just afraid that maybe he is waking up b/c somethiing is wrong. What do I do? No one is sleeping like we should.
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40 Stephanie // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:28 am
Hello- Iam trying to get my two monyh old in to a routin at night. I give him a bath and then a feeding. He is ready to go to sleep so i wrap him up and put him in the crib but he will just screem and cry until i pick him up. What should i do?
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41 Andrea // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:33 am
I have a 22 month old, she wakes up approximately 2 times every night. I don’t let her cry too long only because I don’t want her to wake my other daughter. She still takes a nuk at night and lately I’ve put a small sippy cup of water in her crib. She takes one 2 1/2 hour nap during the day. A few times a week, she is up and ready to go at 4am - all smiles. Any suggestions?
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42 Robyn // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:51 am
My son just turned 1 this month, he has never slept through the night.
As a infant he was extremely colic, he suffered from acid reflux and was treated. Now he is better and still won’t give me a full nights rest. Hie naps 20 -30 minutes at a time during the day.He is tired by 7:30 - 8:00 at night, I give him a bowl of oatmeal , a dose of reflux medicine then bed . And then it starts. He also shares a room with his sibling who is 4 and has started preschool and needs a good nights rest.
Please help my family ,
PLease , how can I break this cycle so that my family can rest at last.
Please help !!!!
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43 claire // Aug 20, 2008 at 10:09 am
Hello , my six month old baby used to sleep through the night but since getting her first tooth she can be up between 6 and 10 times a night mostly just for her dummy and occasionly wants to play . she does got down to sleep in her own cot alone with her dummy we are trying to wean her of her dummy to see if ts makes a difference but we havent had much luck with this so far. do you have any suggestions for us ? thank you
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44 Diane // Aug 20, 2008 at 10:09 am
Kyleah is now1, goes to sleep with a bottlebed and nap time wakes 1 or 2 times atnight for more milk. how can I get her to bed without a bottle and get her sleeping all night?
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45 Maureen // Aug 20, 2008 at 10:23 am
Riley is 13 months old and has never slept through the night. We have let him cry (he’ll cry for HOURS!) and he stubbornly screams. We go in and comfort him but he cries until we finally put him in bed with us. I am presently 6 1/2 months pregnant and am exhausted. He needs to learn to sleep through the night before I have this next baby. HELLP!
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46 Indy // Aug 20, 2008 at 10:32 am
We feel that we have a pretty good nighttime routine established with our 3 month old: she goes down around 7 or 7:30 every night. I feed her at 10 or 10:30 while she pretty much stays sleeping. Then she sleeps until 2, or 3am. She wakes up crying (not just fussing–we’ve tried to just let her be to see if she falls back to sleep, but it always turns into a cry). We put in her paci and she instantly falls back to sleep until 4 or 4:30. I nurse her and she sleeps until 7 or 7:30.
We read about “waking to sleep” and actually tried waking for 3 nights in a row at 1am (since she always wakes at 2am or so). On the 4th night we did not wake her and she slept until 4 all on her own! But the next night we were right back to waking in the wee hours only to need a paci put in.
This often happens an hour into her naps as well. She just seems to need the paci put in.
Of course we don’t mind being at her beckon call! But is there something we can do to help her sleep through naps and night w/o waking? We don’t want to get ourselves into a “bad” pattern here.
What do you suggest?
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47 Joan // Aug 20, 2008 at 11:32 am
I know my 10 month almost 11 mth next week knows how to go to sleep on his own, unless it is in the crib. I have tried to put him in there awake and stay in there but he cries and cries and will not go to sleep What do I do?
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48 Dana // Aug 20, 2008 at 1:39 pm
My child is 14 months old and she has always been rocked to sleep. She would always wake up several times in the night and finally I got to the point where I needed to get some sleep so she sleeps in my bed. Now unless it’s nap time, I can’t get her to sleep in the crib at all and when I put her in the crib she cries like it’s the end of the world. She only stays asleep if she’s in my bed, whether I’m in the bed with her or not. I don’t know what to do to get her back in her crib without traumatizing her. HELP!!!
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49 Jessica // Aug 20, 2008 at 1:55 pm
My daughter is 19 months old. She has been sleeping in a toddler bed for about 2 months now. She was doing soooo good. Falling asleep on her own, even telling me when it’s time for bed. She would hardly ever get out of bed and I only would get her when it sounded like she had a nightmare. When that would happen I would soothe her and put her back in her be. About 3 nights ago she started throwing a fit when I would try to put her to bed. It’s like she’s almost scared of the bed. She wants to sleep with me and her father and we don’t want that. She won’t go to bed and when we finally get her to sleep she wakes up only hours later screaming and yelling for me. She won’t even lay back down in her bed. We have spent hours trying to get her to sleep, even put a pallet on the floor. HELP!!
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50 Michele // Aug 20, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I have a five and a half month old baby girl who up until 20 days ago was sleeping eight hours straight a night. then she suddenly stopped doing that, and wakes several times during the night, sleeping a max of 4 or five hours straight. she doesn’t go to sleep early (usually between 8:15 and 9:30) and wakes up early to eat. She also is still swaddled, and wakes up quickly if her hands/arms are left out. this worries me as well, since she’s just learned how to roll onto her stomach. i nurse her to sleep - a habit started when she was colicky - and only recently learned that doing that is a no-no. between the swaddling and nursing to sleep, i have an uphill battle. what suggestions do you have for tackling them both?
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51 Katy Warren // Aug 20, 2008 at 3:49 pm
My daughter Emily is 5 months and seems to be waking up more instead of less during the night. She seemed to be doing well with one wake up around 2 am. For the last week or so she has woken up at about 12:30 and 4 or 5. Sometimes I feed her and she goes right back to sleep. but sometimes she is squirmy and fussy and is difficult to get back to sleep.
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52 kirsty smith // Aug 20, 2008 at 5:30 pm
my 11 month old son kaden doesnt know how to go to sleep on his own ive tried leaving him in his cot awake for 5 minits then comin back it doesnt work i really want him to start sleaping through the night he sleeps for a couple of hours then he is ready to get back up and play again i just dont know what to do everyone tells you how to get your child to sleep at there bedtime but not how to get him back to sleep when he wakes at 3 aclock in the morning ive tried taking away his bottle at that time, teething gel, nothing works can you tell me what to do please im in desprate need of sleep his twin sister abbie sleeps all night 12 hours if you let her what do i do please tell me ?
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53 Libby // Aug 20, 2008 at 7:57 pm
my 91/2 month old boy has started to refuse to take an afternoon nap. He has been consistently taking two- hr to hr and a half long naps earlier in the day. He has stopped taking his afternoon nap, and this is affecting his sleep at night- waking up more and earlier. How do I get him back into his afternoon nap schedule?
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54 Brooke // Aug 20, 2008 at 8:22 pm
My son is 7 weeks old, and i have a horrible time with naps. Some days are great (feed, wake time for about 1 hour…including feed…then nap about 2 hours), other days and nap periods either he wont settle down at all, or he falls asleep quickly only to wake up an hour before its time for his next feed. How do I get him to fall back asleep on his own? I’ve tried the shush pat, pacifier, cry and check every 15 min, everything….nothing works. He’ll even go 2 or more naps without napping….just crying off and on throught the nap period. HELP!!! I know he is tired!
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55 Jen // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:01 pm
My 10 week old daughter was sleeping through the night from 9:30 to 5:30 and sometimes 7 am. After she had her 2 month immunization shots, she started waking in the night again. Should i be feeding her? Is she too young for crying it out? And when I put her to bed at night i have to keep giving her the pacifier because she just screams. Help!
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56 Charlotte // Aug 20, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Hi Dana I have a 17 month boy and since he was born he has slept in our room but in his own bed first the bassinet and then the crib, when do you think we should put him in his own room and what’s the best way to do this he is so used to being in our room and I fear that moving him in his room will make him feel insecure of his inviroment and interfere with his sleep can you help?
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57 Nita // Aug 20, 2008 at 10:48 pm
My 5 month old, Evan usually takes a nap every two hours during the day. They only last around 45 minutes. Are they supposed to be longer? The reason why I ask is because we have a hard time getting him to bed at night. It usually takes about an hour to get him to sleep. 6:30 is bath time, then jammies then he starts moaning (our signal that he is tired). We have to walk him around the house before he falls asleep around 8:00. We have tried putting him in his crib right away but he gets so worked up its even harder to get him to sleep. And yes, he gets up twice in the middle of the night for feedings. (Im still breastfeeding.) HELP!!
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58 Cathy // Aug 21, 2008 at 12:58 am
Hi. My 4 month old goes to sleep well every night, between 8-9pm. We just put him down in our co sleeper and leave the room. He is usually awake. At 11pm we feed him and he falls back to sleep no problem but he awakes again at 2-3 am. We try to just to console him with some water and maybe change him but dont’ pick him up. Then he awakes again at 4pm starving. How do we wean from that 2-3am wake up without feeding him. He’s a big boy, could he always be hungry? Thanks for your advise.
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59 YING // Aug 21, 2008 at 1:26 am
My 3months baby girl is very difficult to get sleep if do not carry her and rock,even when she very very tire I put her into her car seat and driving,she will never sleep.And when she get sleep,she alway like in the deep sleep,but alway 10 minute,20 minute wake up at the day time,at night time is little bit better than day time,20 minute ,30 minute, the longer one can sleep one and half hour and wake up,I had bring her to see the specialist paediatrician Dr.,and the Dr.say she is fight sleep,but 1month pass,not any way to solve this problem,i am so worry my little one,she just 3 months and alway look tire.How can i do for my baby.Hope can see your reply,thanks.
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60 Rach // Aug 21, 2008 at 6:12 am
Hi,
We suffer from the same problems as Debbie (Aug 19, 2008 at 4:15 pm) in that our 7month old baby does not sleep in the day, but does well at night. (always to bed awake and soothes himself to sleep at night etc etc)
I would also add that my baby would scream for hours if I let him in the day. It is as if he is so anxious and scared to be separated from me, but how can I make him feel safe? I go in to him constantly, while still giving him time to settle himself between visits.
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61 Lauren // Aug 21, 2008 at 10:11 am
My daughter just turned 6 months old. She is very pettite for her age. She only weighs 12.4 lbs, but she is very healthy. From day one she wouldn’t sleep in her crib. Part of it is me too. I can’t sleep because I worry about her in the crib. Will she roll over and cover her face and not be able to breathe, and the whole SIDS scare. She is rolling, she has great head control. She will sleep in ther crib for about 4-5 hours then she wakes up screaming, and I bring her to bed with me or I put her in her swing. What can I do to get her to sleep the whole time in her crib and how can I make myself relax enough to know that she is ok.
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62 Ana // Aug 21, 2008 at 11:32 am
It sounds good, but my problem is that I still nurse my 12-months-old baby, his rutine to bed is reading, bathing, and nursing. So, he always get sleep while nursing, then when I put him in his crib he suddenly wakes up & cries without stoping until I hold him again. Then we have to rock him to calm him. All nights is the same & he finally get sleep in the crib after more than 4 or 5 tries to put him back to his crib. It takes too much time for my husband & I to put him to sleep. The process usually starts at 9:00 p.m. & he finally stay in calm sleep in his crib around 11:00 - 11:30 p.m.
How can we solve this situation? - We want the best for our baby…
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63 Carol Mullican // Aug 21, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Hey, am writing about Rhys again. He is now 13 months old and we did a great job weaning him off the breast at 11 months. He would go down about 8:30 and sleep until 6:30 or 7.
Then he started teething and he had a virus with fever and now he will go down easily but awakens once or twice during the night and we have to sit with him, sometimes an hour or more before he goes back to sleep. Sometimes he takes a bottle.
We both work and we are TIRED. Help?
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64 rachel // Aug 21, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I have been putting my 11 week old baby girl, Ella into her crib for almost a week now. She will go down drowsy most of the time but has to have her soother. I put her to bed at10pm and she usually is hungry by 2 at the latest. After nursing her for the first time ( only once last night), it takes me 1 to 2 hours to get her to fall asleep again …and that is with her soother. By 3;30 in the morning she slept until 6am and we got up. And of course I am up a couple of times putting the soother back in her mouth. If I don’t give it to her she works herself into such a state. Any suggestions?
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65 Jenny // Aug 21, 2008 at 4:33 pm
My 5 month old was starting to sleep for longer stretches at night but then about 3 1/2 months came and he started waking 3-4 times per night crying and the only way to get him back to sleep is nurse him. He won’t take a pacifier unless I nurse him first. Should he be sleeping for longer stretches at night by now or is he really still hungry and do I need to supplement with formula to help him sleep longer? Also how can I get him to take a longer nap instead of 30-45 minute naps throughout the day?
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66 beth // Aug 21, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Hello,
My question is my daughter is 11 months old, she takes two naps a day, no problem goes to sleep by herself with her binki of course (binki doesnt bother me). Sleeps for about two hours each nap. Her problem is she will go to sleep easily at night but has been waking up crying several times a night and wont go back to sleep, we have to put her in our bed. She use to sleep in our bed when she was a newborn until about 3 months until I transferred her to her bed. She has always slept threw the night since she was 4 months old, but now shes not. Any suggestions to help her sleep all night.
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67 Melissa // Aug 21, 2008 at 9:04 pm
We moved at the beginning of July. My son Ian was 12 and a half months. He always woke 2 -3 times a night. Since the second night in our new home he has been sleeping through the night the last couple weeks he wakes up at night sometimes he will go back to sleep on his own other times he just starts screaming and will not stop until we take him out of his room. he will go on for hours. At first the only way he would calm down is by coming to bed with us. I tried the couch but it wont do. I didn’t want him in the habit of sleeping in our bed cause now that he’s bigger I can’t sleep. Now I can sit with him in my computer chair in the kitchen for five to seven minutes and most of the time he’ll go back to sleep. I don’t mind getting up for five minuted but what could be scaring him? He loves the pooh stickers on the wall. closet door is always shut. dresser drawers shut. if you have any ideas I would love to hear them.
THANKS!
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68 melina garcia // Aug 22, 2008 at 9:40 am
Nyana has had a few sleepless nights but i found out that it was do to growing pains, where they tend to be more painful at night . so her pedi suggestied massage and a warm bath before bed time. and that seems to be working and she does wake up at night as often as she did. any more suggestions are welcome Thank you
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69 Kelly // Aug 22, 2008 at 9:56 am
Hi
My 6 week old son screams when I put him in his cot and continues to do so until 3 hours later of picking up. What can I do he hates baths aswell.
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70 Jeanni // Aug 22, 2008 at 2:48 pm
My 8 week old daughter sleeps well in her crib at night (although she still wakes to eat every 3-5 hours at 12 pounds).
Daytime naps are the problem. She is tired after being awake for 1 to 1 1/2 hours. If she is drowsy and not overtired, I can put her in her crib awake and she will fall asleep. She will sleep 45-50 minutes, not the 1 1/2- 2 hours she probably needs. I have not been successful in getting her back to sleep. She will nap a few more minutes in my arms, but does not go back to sleep if I put her back in the crib (awake or not). Could one sleep cycle be 45-50 minutes? If so, how do I help her learn to get back to sleep/move into another sleep cycle. -I’m afraid she’s not getting the rest she needs.
Thanks!
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71 Linda // Aug 22, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Hi,
My name is Linda and I can’t get me 12 month old daughter to sleep at night. The only time she would sleep is when I put her in the bed with me and my husband, other then that she will not sleep at all. I’ll put her in her crib and she’ll just scream and scream and scream until either me or him will go and get her out. eventually were just so tired that we put her in the bed wit us. I tried letting her cry it out but it doesn’t seem to work. I set up a routine were she will get a bath, bottle and change of clothes and it still doeesn’t work. I even brought her to the doctor and he said everything was normal, I just wish he can go through what i got through. To be honest I really don’t understand why this is happening because she used to sleep on her own all night in her crib and then all of a sudden things just changed from one day to the next. If you can help me out and give me a little bit of advice it would really mean the world to me.
Thank You,
Linda
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72 debbie // Aug 22, 2008 at 7:21 pm
maddi is 18 months old and has been co sleeping since day one as my partner is in the army and co sleeping was easier , sadly my relationship is suffering and my partner sleeps in the spare room when he is home. i have tried maddi in a cot , tried crying it out but eventually just get so tired i give in …. any ideas? Deb
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73 jasintha // Aug 23, 2008 at 5:44 am
pease please please i need your help i have two kids my daughter is 3 1/2 and i have a 6 month old boy. i haven’t slept for a long time and my son keeping me awake almost every night all night is starting to effect me mentally and physically, he just wont sleep for long not even if he sleeps with me anymore( that was the only time i used to be able to atleast get 2 hours) please give me some suggestions. im going crazy.
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74 Wendy // Aug 24, 2008 at 3:56 am
Hi I put florence age 4 1/2 months to bed for the first night of controlled crying going in at 5 minute intervals and after an hour she was sick all over herself and the bed so I had to get her out and strip bed and bath her. I felt so terrible and she ended up not being put back. What is your advice. Many Thanks.
Wendy
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75 georgegina tierney // Aug 24, 2008 at 6:15 pm
HI DANA,
Isabells is now almost 7months now an still not sleeping though the night. her bed time is 7pm an goes to sleep on her own now but she’s still waking up 2 or 3 times in the night. How can i get her to sleep better?
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76 mary // Aug 25, 2008 at 11:37 am
Hello Dana
I recently brought my 16month old on holiday and during vacation, he had to sleep with me in a single bed becoz there was no other room!
I had him in a great routine beforehand, going to bed awake and sleeping through!
Now he screams until i left him and wont sleep alone! it is ruining my life! I tried the cry it out method, but he actually managed to fall and tumble out of his cot, when frightened me so much so now i just gave up and have him in my bed! Please help, and do u believe in cry it out mehtod???]
Thanks, a concerned mother, Mary!!!
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77 teena // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Hi Dana,
This is about my 11.5 month boy, he has been sleeping in his crib through the night for last 3 nights. First day he cried for about 15-20 minutes, second day for 2 mintues or so but yesterday & today was a little different. When I put him in his crib he started crying a lot and stopped within a minute and sat with a blak face staring at the door, I peeped in to check & he was still staring without any reaction whatsoever. I rechecked after 2 minutes and he was still sitting so I decided to go in to check, he stood up held me tightly while standing, I talked to him a bit , put him down & left the room. He didn’t cry or anything we checked after a couple of minutes & he was well asleep. I am really worried why he stops crying after just a while and sits up with a blank face staring towards the door, is it something to worry about? Am I giving some sort of shock to my baby? Is this normal? He has become a good sleeper ever since he has started to sleep in this crib & am so happy about that but at the same time I can’t stop thinking about his behaviour. Your advise in this case would be really helpful. Many thanks, Teena
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78 Tynisa // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:04 pm
What do you do if your baby cries when you put her in the crib she plays but she doesnt want to stay in there long im trying to get her to sleep in there
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79 amy // Aug 27, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I have sleeping problems with my 4 year old daughter. She wount go to bed till im in bed and wount go into her bed she wants to be in my bed with me. When she is in bed with me she sleeps the whole night but when she is in her bed she’ll wake up screaming and come in to my bed and wount go back to her bed unless i go lay down with her and she will hold on to me to make sure i dont leave. amy
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80 Patty // Sep 14, 2008 at 3:26 pm
My son is 10 months, has never slept through the night. Does not take a pacifier. He does not nap well, ususally 20 mins. Now he won’t sleep in his crib. I really need help because I am 4 months pregnant. It would be great if he would sleep in his crib and through the night by the time my next baby arrives.
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81 Julie // Sep 23, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I am finally able to get my soon to be 3 year old to sleep by himself although we have to sit on the floor beside his bed. He normally is fast asleep within minutes. How do I just put him in his bed and then leave the room while he is awake?
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82 Melissa // Sep 23, 2008 at 2:40 pm
My baby is almost 8 months old and we are having major sleep issues. He usually ends up going to sleep in his crib and then when he wakes we go get him and he comes to bed with us. I know that is not the ideal thing to do however we both work full time and sleep is imporatant to us as well as him. He has also started waking up literally every 2- 2 1/2 hours and the only way to get him back to sleep is to let him drink a liitle from the bottle then he is fast asleep again, however I know we are performing bad habits and I would like some advice and how to correct them. Please Help!!
Sincerely,
Melissa
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83 Joanna // Sep 29, 2008 at 6:09 am
Hi Dana,
My son is just over 2 months and is not sleeping very well during the day. He falls off to sleep for about half an hour and then keeps getting up with a fright inspite of being fully feed. I am worried that he is not getting enough sleep during the day. Please help.
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84 Joanna // Sep 29, 2008 at 6:16 am
Hi Dana,
I rock my 2 month old son to sleep and as soon as I put him down he gets up and starts cyring again. Once I left him crying for at least 10 minutes but could not take it anymore so pick him up. He stopped crying immediately. I want to him to fall asleep on his own without crying but not sure what to do. Is there a kinder way for me to put him to sleep without rocking him or leaving him to cry himself to sleep. Thanks Joanna
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85 Joanna // Sep 29, 2008 at 6:22 am
Hi Dana,
My 3 year old daughter is dependent on the bottle to go to sleep. Please advise as to how I can break this habit. Thanks Joanna
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86 Kinnal Patel // Sep 30, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Hi Dana,
Kai is almost 2o months and have real major issue falling sleep on his own without any help and also no matter how tired he is it takes him really long to fall sleep every night … …. He always refuses to sleep untill midnight and still wakes up few times or more through the night and suprisingly he has been like this since always … … I have tried EVERYTHING. As we share same room I put him striaght back to bed(crib or in bed with us) without talking and he gets striaght back up screaming and crying.. He would just not GIVE UP and finally by the time he falls sleeps(either by patting or sucking his pillow) its almost past mid night … Now that he has started going to day care i am worried that he is not getting enough sleep as he wakes up at 8.30/9.00 am and takes one nap of 45 min… please help me how to deal with this ….
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87 heather // Oct 1, 2008 at 7:07 am
Hi I have a problem my 18 mth has a big fascination with my hand he doesnt have a favorite blanket, no pacifier. He loves to hold my hand as his pacifier every night he goes to bed holding my hand through the side of his crib I have to keep it in there until he falls asleep which is usually 20 mins.I need to get him to not depend on me so he can be moved into a toddler bed. PLEASE HELP
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