Click on the ‘Play’ button above to start video!
Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
A great question this week from a mom named Emma:
“Our son is two and will not sleep to his own bed unless one of us lies down to fall asleep with him. Then he wakes up a few hours later and will not go back to sleep unless one of us comes in and gets into bed. This goes on all night. Is he scared? I don’t think he likes his room. Could this be the issue?”
I doubt it really has anything to do with not liking his room. It probably has more to do with the fact that he has convinced himself that he can only get to sleep if one of you is on bed with him. You really want to think about sleep strategies (and we all have them). I like the same side of the bed every night and a glass of water beside the bed. If I do not have those things, I sort of tell myself that I cannot sleep unless they are there.
So your son has basically told himself that he cannot sleep, unless one of you lies down with him. It has become his strategy. The only way he is going to start sleeping through the night and get more comfortable with being on his own in his bed, is if he practices those skills. What I would have you do is to refrain from getting into bed with him anymore. Instead, sit in a chair beside the bed. He may or may not protest that change. He might ask you to get back in and to that you are going to have to say “I am going to sit in the chair until you are asleep.” You can follow the stay in the room method that is outlined for toddlers in the Sleep Sense Program.
It is there to guide parents through gradual withdrawal of the themselves from the bedroom so that the child can develop some strategies that are all his own. He’ll feel comfortable in his own bed by himself and he can start handling his own night wake ups. Then he will not rely on you to keep coming in or lying down with him.
For night wakings you have to handle it the same way. You cannot teach him to do it himself at bedtime but then get in to bed with him all night long; you will just confuse the issue. So for every night waking you have to go back to your chair, stay with him until he falls asleep and back to bed you go. Once he has become comfortable with being on his own in his own bed, then he will start going to bed more quickly and sleeping through the night.
I hope that helps Emma and good luck with your two-year-old. Thanks for your question and sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
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70 responses so far ↓
1 Vicki // Aug 26, 2008 at 1:29 pm
My 2 1/2 month old daughter doesn’t sleep during the day like she should but she sleeps at night… I’m afraid it’s gonna hurt her because she’s not getting enough sleep for her age. What can I do for her to sleep?
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2 Kim Chisnell // Aug 26, 2008 at 1:48 pm
When my son is teething, he will wake up screaming in the middle of the night and only go back to sleep if i pick him up and hold him or set him on something that smells like me (a pillow for example)? Is this normal to go through -the sleep disruption and wanting me only to sleep? He sleeps in his own crib and we put him down awake each night so he doesnt use me to sleep otherwise.
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3 Kim Chisnell // Aug 26, 2008 at 1:49 pm
My son has learned to roll from his back to belly and decides to practice it at bedtime, middle of the night and early morning. Sometimes he will yell when he is on his belly and cannot get back to his back or has his arm or leg hanging out of crib. Is this normal for them to practice tricks when they should be sleeping? Anyway to stop them from doing this?
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4 Alexandra // Aug 26, 2008 at 1:53 pm
My 3 and half month old girl does not go to sleep on her own, still needs to be swadled to sleep at night and during the day usually takes two 30 minute naps and one hour and half nap with assistance (car ride, stroller, etc.). All sleep coaches talk about putting the baby to crib when tired and awake and let fall asleep an their own, but when exactly is this time? I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now and it hasn’t work once. We have a nice bed time routine with bath and all, but it doesn’t seem to help. Thanks, Alex
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5 Joy // Aug 26, 2008 at 1:53 pm
My daughter only goes to bed peacefully when I put her to bed. She screams when my husband does, despite how hard he tries to soothe her. Will she just eventually get used to him, or is there another method to try?
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6 Katherine // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I recently put my 6mo and my 2yr old daughters in the same room to sleep. The 6mo goes in first and the 2yo goes in 30-45 minutes later. The problem is, the 2yo, while waiting to go to sleep, usually at some point decides that it would be fun to screech as loud as she can to wake the baby up. Or she even yells “wake up wake up!” sometimes; she’s clearly doing it on purpose. I’m torn as to what to do. If I rush in, I’m rewarding that behavior. If I stay out, the baby eventually wakes and I feel like I’m sacrificing her sleep to the older child. They have to learn how to sleep together eventually… but how to deal with this stage? There is a similar problem in mornings… the baby wakes up at 5 and I have to rush in to feed her so she won’t wake her sister, but in the long run I’m training her to keep waking at 5… what should I do otherwise? best, K
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7 angela // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:15 pm
My 3yo has severe eczema and food allergies. He has always been uncomfortable at night (and naps) because he is itchy. He wakes himself up several times a night by scratching, and if we don’t help him (rub or pat his skin for him) he scratches til he bleeds or pulls his hair out. We usually bring him into our bed so that we can stop the scratching earlier, and avoid him fully waking up. As you can imagine, this is not what we ever intended…and after 3 years, we are ready for a full nights sleep. Most sleep advice doesn’t take into account kids with these issues. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
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8 Stacey // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:31 pm
My 2 1/2 year old son falls asleep pretty well at night on his own, but started waking up recently in the middle of the night crying and screaming out for us to come get him. We bring him in bed with us and he falls back to sleep but my husband and I don’t. Also, his crying wakes up my 6 month old. Is he having nightmares? What can I do to stop the nightwakings? Thanks!
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9 Casey // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:48 pm
My 3 and half month old son was going to bed on his own until he started rolling over in his crib. Now he fights me every times he is tired. (bedtime and naps). He won’t even let me rock him or try soothing him. He is even to the point now that when I try to feed him he thinks he is going to sleep and fights me when he eats. I have tried letting him cry it out but he scoots to the top of his crib into the corner and cries even harder. Do you have any advice for me? Thanks, Casey
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10 Liz // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I recently transitioned my 2 year and 3 month old son from his crib to a toddler bed. We find him in the morning asleep on the floor, in a laundry basket, or under his bed. Everywhere but his bed. We watched him one night as he got up and laid on the floor and went to sleep. He seems really restless in his bed. We are using the same mattress, blankets, sheets, etc. Is there something else that we are missing??
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11 Marianna Martin // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I have the same problem like Kim Chisnell. My son is almost 3 months and learned how to roll over. When I put him to bed he usually rolls over and can’t get back to his back so he screams like he is hurt and I just spend an hour rolling him over and then have to rock him or feed him to sleep. How can I stop him from rolling over at bed time?
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12 rachel // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:32 pm
For the past few nights, Ella (11.5 weeks old) has gone for about 7 or 8 hrs. without feeding at night time but wakes frequently during the night for her soother. First, will she start sleeping more deeply and stop waking for her soother on her own? and secondly, would it be too early to try and elimnate the feeding in the night. he has been going to bed a 8 ish, and I have been feeding her in between 3:00am and 4am and she gets up at 6 or 6:30am
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13 Martin Sheppard // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Hi
My son Harry who is now 21 months old has moved to a childs small bed from his cot recently. He sleeps well at night, but we have trouble getting him to go to sleep in this bed in the early afternoon as he takes a long time to settle and keeps getting out even though he is very tired.
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14 Diana // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:48 pm
My daughter ,is now 20 month old and still doesn’t sleep in her own bed. When ever i lay her down does she start to cry and shout untill i’m taking her out again.And the only place she sleeps is in our bed. i Tried so many things and none of it worked.
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15 Laura Domen // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:50 pm
My 3-year-old son, Joey, STILL puts up a fight to go to bed most nights. He won’t tell us if he is scared only that he is, “not tired.” He goes to bed around 10 p.m. (he does puzzles in bed) but for the last 2 nights he hasn’t fallen asleep until midnight. He’ll have to get up for preschool 2 days a week next week- 2 hours before he usually arises now!
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16 Char // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:06 pm
My 15mth old is put to bed awake after her nightly routine and quietly falls asleep on her own, but she wakes several times a night on all but few nights. I can either soothe her quickly with a quiet, “Mommy’s here” or she stands up screaming and won’t settle until she is picked up. “Crying it out” doesn’t seem to help these night time wakings and I have to work in the morning, so I pull her into bed to finish the night through, although she doesn’t always sleep soundly next to me either. I’m not sure what to do because she knows how to put herself to sleep, so what is waking her in the night and why won’t doesn’t she put herself back to sleep like she does when she is first put to bed?
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17 Maria Boros // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Dear Dana
Reuben is 13 months old! He has had many changes during his 13 months in terms of baby sitting and he never had a day only with mummy or daddy there have been always other people around as mummy had to finish her degree, work and be a mum. HE has not yet sept a night through, He seems to scream so much when he wakes and he only settles with milk. Its been 2 weeks since he decided waking once a night at 12ish its enough (feeding) and he would now sleep from about 8pm til sometimes 9:30 am. He does wake at 12 for a feed and then 6(am) for a poo and sometimes another feed. Should I be worried? I am thinking he might like this night time feed as its something consistent and nice and comfortable…on the other hand I am thinking does he realy need this? Should he be sleeping that long in the morning. He seemed to make a habit of waking at 6 am….then he would blabber about and sometimes just falls asleep as soon as he had done a poo….then he comes into my bed and he hold on to my hand and sleeps really deeply like someone who really needs that sleep. When he does not have my hand or part of me (like he keeps his feet on my belly) then he wakes and cries…..
WHAT SHALL I DO? Shall i be worried? Am I creating a habit?
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18 nicola docherty // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:36 pm
my son Luke is 13 months old and until recently went to bed awake and settled on his own all night. the past two weeks he will not sleep unless someone is in the room with him and wakes in the middle of the night and early in the morning. his pattern has completely changed, how can i change it back???? your help would be appreciated, my bags are enormous! Nicola x
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19 laura // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:41 pm
My daughter Izzy is 5 and has global developmental delay, so her ‘other’ age is around 2 & 1/5. she never really slept as a baby and had still never slept all night, she is difficult to settle and wakes at least 3 times on a good night. Izzy has been prescibed Melatonin by her paediatrican which has definatly helped. Recently been given a sedative to use to break up the sleepless nights, but she still wakes up - doesnt seem to touch the sides! what next? have now given up work to be her full time carer, but i am still tired all the time. do some children just not nee sleep?
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20 Karen // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:53 pm
My son is nearly a year and wakes anything from once to 3/4 times a night crying. We don’t go in to him now as we were told he has to learn to get himself back off to sleep - which he does but he still wakes up every night (which wakes us up!) - how do we break the routine of him crying? He’s not hungry and if I pick him up he will fall asleep but as soon as I lay him back in his cot, he’s wide awake and screaming again…… HELP!!?? After 11 & 1/2 months of disturbed sleep, something needs to change please……
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21 Abigail // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:54 pm
My question (problem) is exactly the same as Alexandra’s…… Help, having put my daughter (3 months) to bed, content and ready for sleep but awake, and hearing her protesting (crying!) to the point of screaming and getting herself really upset for a month now is really causing havoc with my nerves!
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22 mark & donna // Aug 26, 2008 at 5:24 pm
our girl is 2yrs and 2 mths old, she goes to sleep fine every night but will often wake several times during the night, she wakes up crying i go in thier she stops i tuck her back in she goes back to sleep! she does this once a night or ten times a night and has always done it. i have tryed to just let her cry sometmes she puts herself back to sleep other times just works herself up. I wonder if she just needs to no that im still there?
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23 Tash // Aug 26, 2008 at 6:06 pm
My daughter is 13 months old, and although goes to sleep on her own and quickly at 8pm, she still wakes on average 3 times per night, sometimes more. I am still breastfeeding her, and I had been trying to cut out some these night feeds by other means other than feeding, (which got her sleeping through til 5.30am until we went away on holiday and all got sick!!)
now it doesn’t work and she just wakes all night long. Have since started feeding her again (so we can all get some sleep in our little one room unit) and she will still drink everything. we are exhausted and i am over getting up in the night!!!!
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24 Reva // Aug 26, 2008 at 7:17 pm
My daughter Alexia is now 17 months old and has been sleeping great at nap time and at night. For the past couple of months she has been crying in her sleep. I tried letting her cry it out but the crying just gets worse, and she will do this most of the night. I’m worried because i’m 7 months pregnant and I don’t want her to wake the new baby up if she keeps this up. HELP!
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25 Dottie // Aug 26, 2008 at 8:02 pm
My daughter, 10.5 mos. has co-slept with us her whole life. About a week and a half ago, we started a bedtime routine including bath, book, nursing and lay her in her crib. At first she would only cry for 5-10 mins. Now, it seems like she knows whats coming and won’t settle to nurse. When I lay her down right after finally getting her to nurse a little, she screams and cries. Tonight for 45 mins. We go and check at 5 mins, 10 after that etc. Instead of getting used to a routine and settling down easier, she gets more worked up each night. Any help would be great!
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26 Diann // Aug 26, 2008 at 8:36 pm
my 2 year old and 9 month old daughters are sharing a room but as the 9 month old goes to bed first and the 2 year old screams as soon as we approach the room and refuses to sleep in her bed I don’t know what to do without waking the 9 month old. The 2 year old currently sleeps on the couch every night.
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27 Lori // Aug 26, 2008 at 9:16 pm
I have a 18 month old son and have the same problem as Diana. He slept all night in his crib from 2 months until 7 months (teething) and since then it’s been a constant problem.We tried everything also for six months (the last night in his crib all night sleep was Feb.5) My child can crawl out of his crib. We’ve been lucky to be close by to catch him. He holds his breath until he turns blue and screams and crys till he makes himself sick. We put the matress from his crib beside our bed and he won’t sleep through the night there. I miss my night sleep, bed, and husband. HELP!!!!!!
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28 Lynette // Aug 26, 2008 at 9:20 pm
My daughter is 11 months old. Since returning to work 4 months ago she refuses to sleep in her own bed during the night (even though she has no problem doing it during the day). I have even tried to let her cry it out (which I don’t agree with, but pure exhaustion has led me to) and she just works herself into a total state (crying for over an hour at times, even with me in the room). Could it be that she has issues with me not being with her during the day? I’m desperate for a solution.
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29 Malachi's Mommy // Aug 26, 2008 at 10:06 pm
My 3 weeks old son want to fall asleep on me and then I have to transfer him to the bassinet next to my bed. He holler when I lay him down before he’s asleep and I pick him up again. How can I get out this situation now before it’s too late or is it to early to start sleep training?
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30 Holly // Aug 26, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I have finally succeeded in teaching my 7 month old to put herself to sleep in her cot. This is working well at night and she is then staying asleep. But during the day she will do the same thing but only sleep for 20-30 minutes. How can I get her to have a decent day sleep instead of all these catnaps here and there?
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31 Melissa // Aug 26, 2008 at 11:05 pm
HI, thanks for these videos they help alot. Well one thing I wanted to bring up. Elsie was sleeping through the night, then the second week that Wyatt her new baby brother came home, she doesn’t want to go in her crib and will scream for hours. She sometimes wakes up once in the night but not every night. So we are wondering if maybe she needs a toddler bed now because she does like our bed, which of course my husband had put her in it a few times so now that is where she wants to go to sleep, I know that isn’t a good thing. I just dont know what to do anymore. Help? please.
Thanks
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32 Melanie // Aug 27, 2008 at 1:04 am
Hi Dana,
I know my question doesnt seem as disturbing as the others, i have had alot of trouble with my 6mth old recently in getting him to go to sleep byhimself and we used to have torock him walk him ect.. to go to sleep but i took him to a sleep clinic and they helped me solve that problem he sleeps really well during the day 2 1/12 sleeps aday with some times an extra sleep of an hour . But recently he has been waking up at around the 5 o’clock mark in the morning and is ready to start the day. some times he even wakes up at 4.30. No matter what i try he wont go back to sleep. Its really tiring on me being a single parent and all. especially cause he wakes up bout 5 times during night wonting his dummy and what not as normally babies do. He normally goes to bed between 7-8pm. Do you have any tips on helping my baby sleep longer?
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33 Katie // Aug 27, 2008 at 3:50 am
My son is going to be 3 next month and will not sleep any earlier then midnight. He has all sorts of energy at night and just can not fall asleep. I would make him go to bed at 9 or 10 and he doesn’t end up falling asleep until 2 or 3 hours later. When he wakes up in the mornings he is exhausted. How do I get him to fall asleep earlier.
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34 Circelina // Aug 27, 2008 at 4:19 am
i have a daughter name is Sienna … She a very good girl but i want to know when she is crying what is wrong with her like the sound of her crying …As well she sleep fine at night but no well at the morning she crying and i dont know what to do …She is my first baby ?
i would like to know what wrong with my baby? when she is crying ??
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35 liz // Aug 27, 2008 at 4:46 am
hi dana, my 8month old has just started (touch wood) to sleep through the night. i have been very strict on controlled crying and waiting 15-20mins before we woud go in. it has finally paid off. my question is though, that generally 3-4 times a night she does wake, she will grizzle for approx 30 sec to 1 min & then fall back asleep by herself.
Is this normal behaviour for babies her age? or is this baby sleep talk? should i be worried that she is going to go back to her old ways again?
Thanks, liz.
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36 Kim James // Aug 27, 2008 at 5:13 am
Hi Dana,
Ellen is nearing 7 months’ of age and often wakes at around 3a.m. in the morning. I have tried to resettle her using the dummy but this does not work she gets upset and will not settle back to sleep unless I breastfeed her. She has been on solids for 2 months already. I have followed all the advice by not rushing inth her room when she wakes but she contines to call out until I come in. She is in bed by 7.15p.m. Am I expecting too much for her to now go for 10-11 hours without a feed?
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37 Genevieve // Aug 27, 2008 at 6:15 am
What age should I expect my baby to start to self settle to sleep in her cradle?
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38 Alicja // Aug 27, 2008 at 6:46 am
My 7 months old daughter is breastfeeding and she wakes up about 4 times during the night. Sometimes she is eating and sometimes just sucks a little bit and fall asleep. She also falls asleep during feeding. How can I stop that. One more thing she doesn’t like anything from the bottle olny juice or tea, no milk, no water. And she sleeps in the same room with us cos we have studio flat. Thanks for answer!
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39 jocelyn // Aug 27, 2008 at 7:46 am
My 3 month old son slept perfectly until recently maybe getting up once to eat. I went back to work about three weeks ago and ever since, he wakes up 3/4 times per night starving. He would eat my nose if i let him! He shouldnt be this hungry every two hours like this! He also refuses to go to sleep without being held.
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40 Shameema // Aug 27, 2008 at 8:30 am
I have twin boys,they are 15 months old.Each one wakes about 5 times at night to drink a bottle.My boys love their bottles,they won’t fall asleep without it.I have tried not giving them bottles at night but they cry to much. During the night they often wake up at different times.PLEASE HELP
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41 Chitra // Aug 27, 2008 at 9:35 am
Hi Dana
My son is 1 year old. He wakes up very often in the night and starts crying until I breastfeed him and get him back to sleep.
I tried singing a song/ rhyme and swinging him to make him sleep. It sometimes works to make him sleep , but if he wakes up for the 2nd time and so on, I have to breastfeed him.
I would be very thankful to you if you could provide me solution to this problem as I have never had a continuous sleep for more than 2 or 3 hours since one year.
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42 Toni // Aug 27, 2008 at 10:21 am
yes, we have to lay with our nearly 4 year old to fall asleep in this room, and then he crawls into our bed in the middle of the night…sometimes without us even waking!!
If we try to put him back to his bed, he screams so loud he will wake our baby that sleeps through the night in her own room! What to do to get him back to his bedroom @ night?!
Thanks!
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43 Tamara // Aug 27, 2008 at 11:28 am
How do I teach my 10 month old son to soothe himself without giving him a soother. He wakes at night, can’t find his soother and can’t fall asleep quietly without it. We took it away and are letting him cry it out but it’s breaking my heart at 3am when he’s crying and I’m doing nothing to comfort him! He still wakes up one to two times a night. We took the soother away 2 days ago.
Also, can I give him the soother during the day but at night or during naps? Myhusband thinks this may be more confusing for our son.
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44 Angel // Aug 27, 2008 at 11:50 am
My 20 month old daughter wont sleep in her crib and only goes to sleep when im lying next to her in my bed. When she finally goes to sleep,I place her in her crib but she wakes up in the middle of the night and I get up and put her back into the bed. This routine is getting old and is very tiresome……PLEASE HELP.
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45 laura bray // Aug 27, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Hi, my 7 month old daughter, Rose, falls asleep in the evening pretty well, after a bath and a bottle, in her own crib, but after that she wakes up crying and screaming every 30, 40 minutes, throughout the entire night, we go to her and give her the pacifier, she calms down for the moment but does not go back to sleep, it takes about 20, 30 min(we keep our hands on her until she falls asleep), just to wake up in half hour again with the same problem. She has a slight cold, with stuffed nose and cough, for 2 weeks now, that’s about the time when it all started, I also switched from breastmilk to formula ( she had bad colic before, and as my husband is allergic to milk, we thought that it’s the same with her, but we tried yogurt, and formula before, and she seemed to be fine)…She is teething, too, so that might be the case as well. What do you suggest for this baby that wakes up every half hour all night? Thank you ,
Laura Bray.
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46 Jennifer Niven // Aug 27, 2008 at 12:40 pm
My baby is 9 months old and sleeps well through the night, although still needs a feed at 10:30 (she was a reflux baby so struggled to get enough milk during the day because of the reflux when it is worse). Her reflux has finally started to improve, so that we can now put her into her cot during the day (whereas she had to sleep upright on us before because of reflux). Our problem is all about naps, and I just cannot seem to find a solution to get her to sleep during the day!! All the advice is about nighttime, I need help about naps!! Can you offer advice re: naps. So far we struggle to get 1/2 hour per day of naptime. Bedtime is 7pm on the dot.
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47 Jenn C. // Aug 27, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Our boy/girl twins just turned 1 year last week our daughter has been sleeping thru the night in her own crib for over 8/9 months our problem is our son!! He does sleep thru the night ….as long as he is in our bed!!! Having twins is exhausting enough without having a thrid person in our bed. My husband & I get so little time together as it is I just would like to have one place to call “OURS.” My husband gets upset to have to listen to him cry and I try to tell him that we are doing this NOT as a punishment to the little guy but to help give him a better nights sleep. I just don’t want to wake up one morning and have a 3,4, or even worse a 5 year old little boy STILL sleeping in my bed!! HELP ME PLEASE!
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48 Donna Smith // Aug 27, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I have a 9 week old daughter. Trying to get her to sleep through the night is being difficult. I give her a bath at around 8ish and then a bottle (7oz) with a story. She will sleep for about 4-6 hours. When she wakes up after this…the longest she will sleep is for 3 hours. What can I do to help her sleep longer? I do not put her in her crib for naps…the only time she is bathed or in her crib is bedtime. She usually drinks 4.5oz of milk every 3 hours.
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49 Jennie // Aug 27, 2008 at 8:33 pm
My 21 month old son Cooper is a good sleeper, since he has stopped teething, he doesn’t wake at all during the night, however is an early riser. He goes to bed at 7.30pm and wakes between 5-5.30am. Is there anything I can do to keep him in bed an extra hour of a morning or am I just asking too much? He has a 2 hour sleep each day.
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50 Lisa // Aug 28, 2008 at 12:54 am
My 11 month old son is finally sleeping through the night but now his naps have shortened to less than an hour each. He looks so tired. How can I help him continue to sleep through the night but also take long enough naps? We had to let him cry at night and it took so long for him to finally sleep all night long- it was heat wrenching to hear him wake up and cry every night- should I let him cry if he wakes up too early from his naps? It seems if I go in to comfort him or stay with him while trying to get him back to sleep he just get’s more worked up. Thanks for your help. Lisa
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51 Cindy // Aug 28, 2008 at 2:02 am
My son is 22 months and he won’t go to sleep alone. We are sleeping next to him at night. He screams when we try to get him to go to bed. He wakes up screaming at night and in morning and often crys in his sleep. Help
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52 Kelli // Aug 28, 2008 at 4:12 am
Hi Dana!
My daughter has just turned one and I have only just stopped wrapping her. She will now take ages to go to sleep because she keeps standing in her cot. I have to go in to her and put her back down sometimes up to 15 times! I have read your book and followed the instructions however it doesn’t seem to be working. I would leave her and not go in but I don’t think she knows how to lay back down? Do you recommend anything else such as the Safe-t-Sleep wrap? I would really appreciate your feedback, Thank you - Kelli
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53 Kelala // Aug 28, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I have a 16 month old baby she is 16 pounds.I nurse her to sleep. I get two hours to sleep for the last four nights she wakes up crying every night. She has had all the tests you can run she just small.How can i get her to fall asleep at night? I want her to stop waking up to nurse so much help please.
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54 Teresa // Aug 28, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I have 2 daughters. My oldest is 4yrs old and my baby is 11 months. I have problems with both girls. My oldest Angelina will not go to sleep unless my husband is in the extra bed in her room. He ends up falling a sleep in her room, must of the night. When he does get up, she will come in our room to get him. He goes because he does not want to upset her and make her cry. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
My baby Bethany has not slept thru the night once. She always wakes around 12-1 and again around 4-5 in the morning. The Doctor says let her cry it out, but she screams and I don’t like her getting that upset. She always wants a bottle. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!
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55 maj // Aug 29, 2008 at 12:28 am
hi dana,
i’m always checking out your advices of how to train a baby to sleep by her own. i tried it and it really worked. Before , i had to rock her, feed her to sleep. She wakes up every 3 hrs to feed eventhough shes5mos already. Now at 7 pm i bathe her, feed her n put her to crib awake and she falls asleep by her own. at first she cried, but now she goes to sleep w/o crying.So i already have time to rest longer. Thanks a lot. God bless n more power-maj
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56 Soraya // Aug 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Hi,
My son is turning 3yrs in Oct. I follow your guide routine of what to do at night like giving a bath, reading and all other things. My son still dont want to go to bed by himself he will sleep in his bed as long as I am in the room with him. It is really difficult for me because I look after a disabled person and need my sleep as well. He still wake up at night at least two or three times do you have any other suggestions.
Thanks
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57 Jane // Aug 31, 2008 at 3:43 am
Hi Dana,
A napping question:
My 4 month old daughter is sleeping well during the night (about 11 hours) but her day sleeps seem to be getting worse. I’ve been consistent with her routines before bedtime, and let her settle herself but the crying times are still just as long as they were when we started - sometimes she cries for the entire time that she is supposed to be sleeping!! (with me going in at set intervals to calm her). Should her crying times be getting shorter or is there something else I could be doing to help settle her?
Thanks very much.
j
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58 marie // Sep 3, 2008 at 5:24 am
Hi my 3 and a half year old daughter will not go to sleep on her own without a fight ! Every night my husband or i read Abigail 2 stories one short and one long one her choice of books, but when we have finished reading if we try to go out of her room she kicks up a fuss and screams, throws her things off the bed, including pillows blankets etc…, and starts to play whilst giving the quick scream here and there. There is a baby gate up at her bedroom door so she can not get out. She has a dummy and throws that out then screams for it back because she can not sleep without it.
Once she has finally fallen asleep if we lay with her which we do almost every night we can be up there over an hour and sometimes end up falling asleep ourselves. If left on her own it takes between 30 and 60 minutes, but this upsets my 6 year old daughter as she is also trying to get to sleep.
Then half way through the night she gets into bed with us and we dont even know she is there until morning this happens every night please help us solve this problem
regards marie
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59 Paula Roberts // Sep 3, 2008 at 5:28 am
My 6 month old daughter won;t goto sleep without her soother, sometimes she sleeps from 10 the dream feed until 4.30 then through till 6.30 but other nights she wakes every hour and won;t go back to sleep unless i give her the soother any ideas? how do I get her to go to sleep without the soother I’ve tried sshhh ing her but that doesn;t work any help please.
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60 Rosemary // Sep 4, 2008 at 6:38 am
I read my 19mth old 3-4 books, put him down for his daytime nap, say time to go to sleep, then leave the room, he cries for maybe a minute, then usually crashes and wakes up 3hrs later. My problem is night time, he gets 3-4 books read to him, then put into cot but if I leave the room, he screams his head off, even if we settle him back down, leave the room it starts up again, so we have to stay in the room until he is asleep with means up to 2 hours! Why is night time different to day time?
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61 Priyap // Sep 4, 2008 at 8:54 am
My 7 month old wakes go to sleep at 8pm after having had milk at 7.30 and dinner at 5.30. She then wakes at 11-11.30pm and has 6oz milk and goes back to sleep. Next wake up is at 4.30. In the last 2 daysI have stopped feeding her at this time as this would stop her eating her breakfast at 8am as she has a belly full! She cried from 4.30 until 6.30am by which point I had a headache so I fed her and she immediately fell asleep. I can’t leave her to cry as I don’t agree with letting her cry it out. I did lie next to her, whisper,and give her diluted formula to drink to try and calm her but she was so angry, sobbing and screaming. After her breakfast she normally plays then has milk at 10.30am and sleeps in her cot, by herself, until 12. She then has lunch,plays until 14.30 then has milk and sleeps for an approx 1 hour. I wake her if she goes over 1.5 hr. Dinner at 5.30 then the cycle starts again. Ideally,I would like her to sleep after her dream feed at 11pm until at least 6. How do I drop the 4am feed?
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62 Nathan // Sep 4, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Our daughter Taylor is a newborn, only three weeks old. When Taylor is tired and decides to sleep it seems impossible to keep her awake. We have tried rubbing her back or belly, tickling her feet, moving her arms and legs. She just sleeps through everything. Taylor is usually awake for a couple of hours during the day, and then from about 11:00pm - 2:00am. We understand we will still have to wake her for feedings, but what can we do to rearrange her sleep habits as far as days and nights? Can your program help us with our newborn daughter?
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63 Sherry // Sep 5, 2008 at 9:54 am
Hi, Dana,
I’m wonder if my son has sleeping disorder or if he is hungry. He is going to be 6 months on the 15th of this month. Our day starts at 5a.m. he will take a 6oz bottle around 7 then a 15 min nap then i will feed him around 9 , he will then take another 6oz bottle around 11a.m. then a 15 min. nap then we will eat lunch at 1p.m. , a 6oz bottle around 3p.m. one more 15 min. nap then supper at 6-7 p.m. he will then get a bath and take a 6oz bottle to go to sleep at 8p.m. he will then give me 1 1/2 of sleep after that forget it he is up every hour on the dot for a 4 oz. bottle till 5 a.m. This is every night! He didn’t sleep from the time i brought him home, the docter told me that he will grow out of it! I’m starting to think that he has a sleeping disorder. What do you think??
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64 Sara // Sep 6, 2008 at 6:22 am
My 3 year old son has a set bedtime routine and generally goes off to sleep by himself.However he wakes up 2-6 times in the night and stands by my bed.I have to take him back into his bed.I do not talk to him and he falls back to sleep on his own but this happens over and over again.He has a 1 year old sister in the room next door who is now also being disturbed by the constant waking.My husband and I are so tired and are struggling with this.Please,please help!.
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65 Melissa // Sep 9, 2008 at 10:07 am
My 10 month old daughter has gotten pretty used to her routine. She usually takes two 30 minute naps per day and then goes to bed for the night around 8pm. However, she still is not sleeping in her own bed. She sleeps with us and this is crucial because it is affecting my relationship with my husband! I have tried countless times to put her in her crib, stay in the room with her, encourage her, but she just screams and screams for up to an hour if I let it go on that long! It absolutely breaks my heart. Even getting her to go to sleep in our bed is a routine in itself: make her a bottle, feed her and rock her until she’s almost asleep and then lay her in our bed and me lay next to her until eventually she falls asleep. I guess one good thing is that she’s not waking up in the middle of the night though. Do you have ANY suggestions for me? I HAVE to get her out of our bed!!! Please help us!
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66 victoria // Sep 9, 2008 at 7:39 pm
ok cj turns 1 on the 13 of this month. &I can not get him 2 sleep by himself.everyone tells me 2 put him in his bed &let him cry him self 2 sleep?i tried it but he cried4 an hour &10 min.i could not lethim keep it up i thought he was going 2 be sick. please help me get cj 2 sleeping by himself he is a big boy now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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67 alexandra // Sep 24, 2008 at 12:45 am
Hi Dana,
My son Damian is 2 years old. He usually pretty good to fall asleep by himself. However, I decided to stop putting him in a sleeping bag during his afternoon nap. He sleeps for about 35-40 minutes and then wakes up and cries. I tried to let him cry for 10 minutes but he doesn’t settle! I get him, give a drink and put him back in bed and is right for another hour. I still using Damian sleeping bag for the night and is Ok. What should I do ? Thanks
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68 nicky connors // Oct 7, 2008 at 6:41 am
Dear Dana - My family is on the brink of collapse after 2 and a half years of chronic sleep deprivation. My toddler screams at night for anything between 3 and 10 times and up to 7 hours at a time. Up until 2 months ago he was always a terrible sleeper, but then he miraculously started to sleep through for 6 weeks. We were overjoyed. NOTHING different had changed to his routine/diet/bed/family dynamic (I have kept a vigilant diary of everything to try and identify reasons). We have seen several specialists over the years with no real answers or results and have tried everything :co-sleeping (which he hates), having him in a cot in our room (no improvement) and controlled crying for 3 weeks (did not work, he just became more hysterical and vomited). He sleeps through 90% of the time when he stays with my childminder in a cot by her bed. I feel suicidal with despair, I am unable to live on 2-3 hours sleep every night for years on end. he gets off to sleep beautifully on his own when he first goes to bed(he has a bottle before bed but has never had a soother and is always awake when he goes down). He ususally sleeps well between 7pm and 11pm, and then the horror starts 11pm until 6am. please help us.
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69 Curtis // May 22, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Just testing your comments section!
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70 Donna // Oct 21, 2009 at 4:03 pm
My son, he’ll be 3 in December, suddenly started being afraid to be in his room by himself. (I think it’s due to scarey halloween decorations he’s seen around the neighborhood.) Just over a week ago he’d been going to sleep all by himself, just fine. Then suddenly he was too scared to be in his room alone and cry and scream and not want us to leave his room. It’s gotten a tiny bit better now. My husband and I sit in his room on the floor until he falls asleep at night. But then during the night he wakes up 3-4 times and each time I go in and sleep on his old crib matress on the floor until he falls asleep. When he wakes up 1-2 hours later he cries because I’m not there. My husband cannot afford to loose any sleep while my son’s crying, but I’m tired of sleeping in my son’s room 3 times a night. If we just ignore him, he’d just come out of his room. What can I do to help him get back to sleeping on his own and me not have to sleep in his room til he falls asleep during the night? Thanks!
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