Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from Nicole. She writes:
“My daughter is five months old. She has her last feed at 7 p.m. and will sleep for about nine hours. Then she will be awake from 4 a.m. for about two to three hours. I tried re-settling her, letting her cry or giving her a feeding but nothing seems to work. I have a toddler, so I am conscious of not wanting to wake her. My toddler wakes up 7 a.m. so basically I start my day at 4 a.m. Any advice?”
Okay Nicole, let’s start at the beginning. You’ve have not said exactly how she falls asleep at 7 p.m.; just that her last feed is at that time. So, I wonder if she nurses or bottle feeds to sleep perhaps. The good news is that she does sleep for a nine hour stretch; that’s really great, especially if you are nursing or bottle feeding her to sleep initially at bed time. Then, she is awake for a good part of the night; (and I would consider 4 a.m. still “night”) without re-settling.
Let’s look at bedtime. If you are already doing this next step, great! For those of you out there five month olds who are not implementing this, then this a good time to start.
Going to bed at 7 p.m. is great: that’s a perfect bed time! What you do leading up to bedtime is what we need to look at. It’s important to do a bedtime routine and I recommend starting it with a bath. I think it’s a great way to signal a child or baby that it is night time and it’s something that is so significantly different from anything else that goes on in the day. After a bath, get her into her jammies and have the last feed. It is important that she have a feed before bed, especially if you want to her to go through the night (or most of the night) without one. If she is nursing or bottle feeding, be careful not to allow her to fall asleep at the breast or the bottle. I know there is a fine line between drowsy and awake and some people say, “Well, she’s half awake.” but keep in mind, that she’s also half asleep in saying that. Make sure she is wide awake through the feed, therefore wide awake when she goes into the crib.
Usually, if a baby has been using the breast to get really drowsy, they will expect you to provide the same thing for all night waking. They are likely to think, “I know I need to get to sleep by getting really drowsy using the breast and then I can do the last little bit on my own.” They will feel like they need that “prop” in order to get back to sleep every time they wake, and may wake more often.
If you are having that kind of struggle, the solution really is to look at the bedtime routine. Make sure that your baby has a feed, and stays awake through it. You can try some playful poking, tickling, talking to them, and turning lights on. You may even need to take the bottle or breast out of her mouth for a moment or two, and begin again. Keep them stimulated through the feed to ensure they are not using you or the bottle as a part of their journey to sleep.
The next step is to ensure that she goes into her crib at bedtime, wide awake. That might mean that there will be an adjustment period; what previously could have been a smooth bedtime, might become slightly more challenging for a few nights. She is will be learning how to fall asleep more independently, without relying on the precursor of the breast or bottle. Don’t panic if bedtime seems a little off; it’s part of the process of her learning how to get to sleep from a wide awake state.
With regard to the night waking, I normally recommend waiting five or ten minutes before you go in. When dealing with a night waking, it’s better to give the baby a chance to try to get herself back to sleep. When dealing with a 4 or 5 a.m. wake up (early waking, rather than night waking), being that it is so close to morning , a child may feel that it’s time to get up. In that case I suggest you go in fairly quickly, rather than waiting. As soon as you hear her, just go in and tell her it’s still night-night. Give her back her blanket or teddy (whatever she is using as a lovey) and do a bit of shushing or patting to see if you can coax her back into another cycle of sleep. Stay for anywhere from two to five minutes and then make your exit. If she starts to cry, go in after another five or 10 minutes. Repeat the same process of soothing and leave again.
It sounds like you have a “mixed bag” of things that you try for soothing, such as feeding or walking her. Doing those things might just be confusing the issue, and depending on her weight gain, she might not even need to feed at all in the night. Often, and unless there is a concern about weight gain, I would say that at five or six months, children no longer really need those night feeds.
For the sake of clarity, run it by your doctor and if you are not comfortable with that idea yet, you can offer those feeds. Just make sure she stays awake through the feed is not using your breast or the bottle to get herself half way (or all of the way) back to sleep. Otherwise, pull the feeds altogether.
In that case, it’s best not to offer a feed at all anymore because it might just confuse her. It could be even more stimulating to add calories into her system through the night and it might be even harder for her to hang in there until 6 a.m. I would not let her get up or start the day with her at that point. I would just continue to leave and check on her until either 6 o’clock rolled around or she went back to sleep. If she is still up and it is 6 a.m., then go ahead, get her up and start the day with her.
Then give her the first morning feed and then off you go with your day until her first nap time rolls around. It sounds like there might just be some mild confusion to her sleep skills and you can help by being really crystal clear of what those are for her. If she starts relying on them 100% of the time, then she should start sleeping straight through. A nine hour night is not enough for any baby that I know and she should be getting at least 11 or 12 hours of night time sleep. So there is no reason why she cannot consolidate that last chunk and get through till morning, but might take a bit of work on your part.
Thanks for your question Nicole, and sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
hi dana,
like many other moms, i’m also having trouble with my baby waking early, around 5am (goes to bed around 8pm). baby is approaching 5 months so i understand that it shouldn’t be a hunger issue. but baby is quite small (10th percentile), has slow weight gain and doesn’t feed well. in our case, should we still try to hold off feeding him until 6am, or should we go ahead at 5am?
also, the subsequent wake time varies quite a bit. with the start of our day varying so much, it is very hard to have a consistent nap schedule. every day is different. what do you suggest?
Hi Dana,
My 9mth old little boy has been waking up at midnight every night. He is wide awake and is blowing raspberries, babbling and squeeling like it’s 2 in afternoon. He will not stay in his crib at this time, he screams and cries if I walk out and leave him. Eventually I just take him to my bed where he continues to baby babble for the longest time before eventually falling asleep….Help
Hi,
My 6 and a half month old wakes up at 5am he goes to bed really early by 5:40 or 6Pm he is sleeping. He takes a morning nap usually 1 hour after he wakes up for 1 hou and then an afternoon nap for about 1 to 2 hours depending the day. Then he has a long way to 6 pm. What can I do to have him sleep a bit longer in the morning?
My 10wk old is having some trouble adjusting her sleeping habits. I started giving her bath between 6:30 and 7:00 she would then take a bottle an fall to sleep after the feeding. She then would wake up for her 2nd wind at 10-10:30. It would then take an hour to an hour and a half to get her back to sleep. So, I changed her bathing time to 7-7:30 she then would take her bottle between 9-9:30, fall asleep around 10 and sleep the entire night only waking for her pacifier then get up for her day between 5:30-6. I am going back to work soon and need some help with a schedule. Do I put her to sleep early knowing we will be up when I am ready for bed or what?
Hi,
I just recently purchased your sleep sense program and have been following your advice but my 6 month old son still is waking up 3 or 4 times a night and is still having one night feeding. Then he is waking up to start the day at 5am!
I start our nighttime routine a little before 7 by giving him a bath. He has his last feeding after the bath and then we read a book. That helps wake him up some if he gets drowsy during the feeding. Then I put him in bed wide awake. He is usually fine for about 10 minutes and then starts the fussing and turns to crying and sometimes screaming. I let that go 10 minutes and then go in and try and give him his blanket back. He still doesn’t settle down after another 10 minutes so I usually give in and give him his pacifier. Which I am sure this is the first no no. But then he is asleep within 2 minutes. So he is usually sleep by 7:30 at the latest. He then wakes up fussying around midnight and then every hour after that until I give him his night feeding. I try and hold him off until at least 2 am.
Then as I said, he is wide awake and ready for the day at 5am and will not go back to sleep. He is in a good mood, never wakes up crying or is crabby. So he seems rested. Even though mom isn’t since the longest stretch of sleep would be about 3 hours.
And, he does not take naps. He will sleep 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon. We lay him down wide awake and he does the same thing as when we put him to bed, fine for 10, cryies for 10, cries for 10 more and then we finally give in and give him his pacifier.
I have purchased your sleep sense program and have followed everything except giving him the pacifier. I have read three other books and tried the no cry option as well. That doesn’t work either.
Please, please help a very sleep deprived mom!!
You have great advice and I am really trying to follow. Jon is 10 months and a very happy baby, good napper during the day, no longer eating at night and goes to bed very easily at 8pm. Issue with Jon is when he wakes at night he begins to cry…I wait about 5 – 10 minutes before I go in…and once he sees my hubby or me…he cries even harder and we can’t calm him down. I don’t like letting him cry it out…but don’t know what else to do! ~Melissa
My 20month old daughter goes to sleep on her own around 7pm. She wakes each morning between 4:30-5am. She does take a nap during the day at day care for about 1.5 – 2 hrs. I have tried leaving her in her crib to go back to sleep on her own, but she only continues to cry (for up to 30minutes). I have resorted to going into her room and telling her she can lay down with me but it is still night-night time. She sometimes will lay down with me with no problem. She wont go back to sleep but will be quiet. Other times she is screaming for cheese or a snack. Some mornings her diaper is so wet that I think that is what is waking her up, but then other mornings it isnt wet at all. I just dont know if I should let her cry it out or go in and tell her it is still night-night. I think she is up for the day by then and it only aggrivates her if I go in and then leave her again. What to do?
Hi Dana,
I have a 12 week old boy that will not sleep through the night unless he is in bed with us. He has a night time routine of bath, bottle, bed between 8 and 9. It seems the only way that he will sleep longer then 2 hours is in the carseat or in bed with us. In the carseat he has been getting up around 3 or 3:30 wanting a bottle but when we feed him he is wide awake wanting to play. I don’t want to deprive him of the bottle if he needs it, but we know that he can go all night without it. He does sometimes need a pacifier to sleep. I get up at 5 to go to work so with him getting up at 3 it makes it very difficult to get those last few hours of sleep. Please help!
I’ve had to change my 12month daughters nap time from 9am to 9.30-9.45am as she was only having half our nap. Since I have changed it she has been having a good hour nap. My problem is that since I have moved her nap to 9.30-9.45 it takes say 20 min for her to drop off so by the time she wakes up it’s 11.00am which then pushes her afternoon nap to 2.30 and by the time she drops off it’s nearly 3pm and she then wakes at nearly 3.30-4pm. I am finding it really hard for her to go to sleep at 7. Sometimes it’s nearly 8pm before she is asleep. Is she too young to have just one nap during the day? And is there anyting I can do to help my daughter fall asleep quicker. Sometimes she takes 30 to 45 mins to fall asleep. Sometimes happily, sometimes crying.
HI,
my baby is just 5 months old and i try to put her to bed awake at about 8pm after her last feed [breast] but she just crys and crys until she vomits and is so distressed i feel i have to pick her up.How do i solve this,is she too young to leave to cry.I feel she will never stop! [plz help me]
Hi Dana
My youngest son is nearly 9 months and he used to be a really good sleeper he would sleep at least 9 hrs straight before waking for a bottle but the last 3 months he has been going to sleep ok he is awake when I put him to bed and usually goes to sleep within about 15mins sometimes it can take up to an hour. Once he is asleep he will sleep till about 1am then wake I try and settle him but he wont settle I try giving him a wee drink of water but most of the time I am having to resort to giving him a bottle but he is still not settling after that so I am awake with him for anywhere from 3 hrs to 5 hrs straight during the night I have tried everything with him and I am at the end of the line I dont know what else to do please help. He gets up at 7am then has an hours sleep at 10am then he has another hours sleep at 2pm then goes to bed at 7pm.
Thank you
Hello Danna,
I have a 4 1/2 old, we have a night time routine of bath, feed, night time story and she will be in bed by 8 pm, we can put her in bed without a pacifier for her 10 minute music but once she gets really tired the crying starts… i will wait until she starts screaming to pop in her pacifier and then she falls a sleep in no time… then during the night she will wake up at arround 2am and quikly pop in her pacifier so she will be back to sleep again but then at arround 3:30am she wakes up again for a feeding witch she falls a sleep to… and she will sleep to arround 7 or 8am… how can i eliminate the pacifier???????
thank you!!!!
Hi there,
My husband and I have a beautiful 4 1/2 month old daughter and recently she began waking through the night. I had no idea how many people were in this boat until I checked this website! Dana, thank you for your video blogs! It was very empowering for me to realize all the things that we had done well, and very easy for me to pinpoint what went wrong. In one night she was back to sleeping 12 hours through the night and two 2 hour naps during the day. Thankfully, we taught her the best skill you can teach an infant from the time she was born,… how to fall asleep on her own. Before she was born, my husband and I decided that I would breastfeed for as long as possible and that he would have one feed. Her bedtime feed. We always wanted her to know that it was a different time so we bathed her and he fed her Similac or Pumped breastmilk from a bottle. He always made sure that she burped and was awake before she went down, and magically, she slept at least 9 hours from day 2. Now I know why she sleeps so well. I actually started to think that she was getting hungry at night, but then realized that the last few feeds, she had fallen asleep on the bottle before bedtime. Goes to show how important it is to stay consistent. Thank-you so much
Hi,
Kiah is now 5.5 months old and is having solids 3 x a day. However she doesnt seem to want a bottle at all or maybe only 2 oz at bedtime and besause of this she has gone from sleeping till 6 to now 4! She has her tea at 4 but still dosent seem hungry at 7.30 ish before bed.
Hello Dana,
I have two children Evie is 26months and Christopher is 15 months. From birth Evie has slept in our bed. I swore Christopher would sleep in his own bed from birth. That didn’t last long. A couple of months ago I couldn’t get him to go to sleep so I brought him into my bed and can’t get him out. If I put him in the crib he screams before I get him into the crib and doesn’t stop. He also has yet to sleep all night without waking up for a bottle. He only gets a bottle at night not before bed but during the night. Each night I lay down with my kids in my bed watching the lion king with no volume until they fall asleep. Some times they fall asleep in minutes. Christopher usually falls asleep first. Most nights I fight with Evie to get her to sleep. Some times the fight lasts from 8pm til 11 or even 12. Then both of them wake up a couple times throughout the night. Then between 7 and 9 they are up for the day. I have to lay down with them for them to take naps as well. I love my kids and cuddling with them, but I need more sleep and more time for myself to get things done. The biggest problem is if one won’t sleep the other has trouble to. I get stuck giving in to things I know I shouldn’t just to keep them from crying so the other doesn’t get woken up. I can’t put them in their own rooms, because they scream and scream. Not a cry but a horrific scream. Christopher will sometimes vomit from screaming. I am trying to implement a good night time routine. We usually eat dinner, clean up, quiet play, then brush teeth, and lay down. I know we shouldn’t watch tv, but it is the only way the kids will lay still. Often all they need is to lay down long enough to fall asleep. Christopher plays with my hair and is ususally out in 10-20 minutes. Please help me. I don’t know what to do. I worry about our health because of lack of sleep as well as the effects on my marriage.
Hi Dana,
I am in desperate need of HELP! Our son Ryan is 6 1/2 months. He has 2 older sibblings (12 year old brother, and 9 year old sister, so it has been a while since we have done this)
Anyway, Ryan has never slept through the night. A good night, is going down around 7:30 (he always falls asleep with the bottle. I am not sure how to stop this) and then wakes around 12:30 for another bottle, and then again around 4-4:30.
Latley, he has been only sleeping in 2 hr spurts! Needless to say it’s exhausting us! And, not only that, but he seems to want to just be with us. His crib is in our room, because I don’t want my other children’s sleep distrubed.
Ryan wakes, and then usually pulls down on the bumper so he can see us, and then whales.
I always pick him up, because again, I don’t want to wake the others.
In theory, I know this is wrong. I know that he should not be falling asleep with a bottle either, but I am at a loss, and near tears every night!
Please help….
Lynne
I have a 3 1/2 month old son. Lately his has decided that he wants to go to bed around 6pm. I think it is way to early, so that’s problem #1. Problem #2 is of course he is going to sleep with a bottle or rocking (my fault). I just came across this great program, so I’m just beginning. We are starting a rountine, but when I put him down to sleep he cries and cries and cries….Problem #3 is he does get up around 12 crying. I have toddlers I’m not wanting to wake so I feed him around 6 ozs, and usually he will go back to sleep on his own. He does still want to get up around 4am…What to do about that.
Please help!!
Hi Dana,
My son, Aarav, is 15 months now, and we have been trying to train him to sleep for about 3 weeks now.. we have a routine that starts around 7:30.. bath time, then a full bottle with rice cereal in it, and then we lay him to bed when he’s drowsy.. but not sleeping yet.. he’s out by 8:15pm. He will sleep through till about 1:30am.. and then wakes up and cries.. we let him cry for a bit.. and then cjeck on him.. we don’t pick him up.. just reassure him and lay him down again.. then he’ll sleep again till about 4:30am.. we let him cry it out.. he usually falls asleep again (sometimes) otherwise we reassure him again.. and then he finally wakes up at 7:30am. How do we get him to sleep through the night without having to get up and go to the nursery to reassure him. He literally see’s us, has a sigh of relief and goes off to sleep again.. please help us.. thank .
Forgot to mention that of course when it comes to bedtime she gets quite grouchy and I think that is why she finds it a struggle to sleep then as she is overtired from being awake so long. I think she would probably like a nap arond 5 but then that would ruin her bedtime routine. AArgh!
Hi Dana,
Lola is 14 weeks, my main concern is her naps during the day. She has bath, massage bottle then bed at 7 – it is usually a struggle to get her to sleep in her cot and I usually have to soothe her quite a number of times before evetually I can put her down and she will sleep. She has a dream feed at 1030 then will wake between 330 and 5 – if before 5 I can usually soothe her back to sleep by rubbing her nose and shushing but at 5 I hear her tummy rumbling so give her half a feed. She wakes at 7am and wont eat a full feed so I am pretty sure I can start cutting out her night feed. Then she is awake for an hour to an hour and a half when she gets tired so I take her to her cot and she grizzles for about 10mins but will then fall asleep. My problem is that she wakes after 45 mins clearly still tired but will not go back to sleep. I will soothe her for hours then give up and let her stay awake til her feed at 1045-11 when she is exhausted and falls asleep on the bottle. When I try and put her in her cot she screams and screams til eventually I keep picking her up and putting her back til she sleeps. Then again she wakes 45mins later and I have to do the whole thing again, ususlly 30mins before she goes back to sleep for another hour or hour and a half. She then feeds at 230, and after a couple of hours I try and get her to have another nap but often she just wont and is then up for 4 – 4and a half hours before bedtime. I am sure she needs more naptime than this and am at the end of my tether as I feel I am constantly battling her to nap. Please help, any advic would be much appreciated. Thank you
Hello Dana..
Ryan is 10 months now, and since 3 weeks now, even i’m always teaching him to sleep, he keeps on waking up 4 times at night. Before, last year, he was sleeping, after the program. But now, i dont what happened, he wakes up and wont go back to sleep till i go in his room and breastfeed him.. Please help me because its being a nightmare for me.
Thanks a lot
Yes, I have a son who will be 4yrs. old in May. He does very well with sleeping and has since he was 6wks. old He recently has started waking up around 3 am. I do believe that it is to do with nightmares from things he is seeing on tv. Some cartoons can even have scary things in them so I am addressing that myself, but I also have a daughter that just turned 2 in Jan. She does not and has never slept all through the night! We have tried everything and recently even put her in a toddler bed. She has never slept in a bed! I have always had to bring her back into the front room on her little couch. She will not sleep in a bed. She never rests. She constantly moves in her sleep and wakes up 4 to 5 times a night most every night. I too, am exhausted and at witts end. Im ready for a good nights rest in my bed instead of in the floor! What is wrong with these kids? Just about every baby I know that was born around 2007 is doing the same thing. Im wondering if there was something in the good start formula!
Hi Dana
Thanks for your help w/Luna. Well since the first time I contacted you about Luna I had another baby, Leilani. She just turned 1 about a week ago. This is my current situation, both girls have to share a room. Leilani has been a pretty good sleeper from the beginning, but for several months when Luna wakes up for whatever reason Leilani wakes up too and I have to take her (Leilani)out of the room so she’ll go back to sleep. I don’t want her to get used to this idea (cause then i have the same problem that i did with Luna, not wanting to sleep in her own bed). Then if for whatever reason Leilani wakes up, Luna sometimes gets up also. So now I have both of them awake and crying, Luna doesn’t want me to leave the room and won’t be quiet and Leilani is standing there in her crib crying and awake because she hears her sister and won’t go back to sleep! How can I get them back to sleep individually, without having to remove or bother the other. You know, I thought ONE was hard but I have to make a correction, cause TWO is worse!!! PLEASE help!
My 4 month old baby still wakes 4 or more times a night. Each time I have to breastfeed her to get her to go back to sleep. She doesnt fall asleep at the breast but I do feel she is using me for comfort and it has become a habit. Our nighttime routine is a bath and then a feed before going to bed around 6.30pm. She will then sleep for 4-5 hours but then wake every 1-2 hours until getting up around 8.00am. During the day she also wants to be feed before each nap which I am now not doing and she will cry for 10-15 mins before eventually going to sleep and never sleeping more than 40 mins at a time.
I have a 2 year old and I’m finding it very difficult to function on such little sleep
Thankyou
My son iss six months old. He has his last feed (nursing) at 8 p.m. and will sleep for about two to three hours at a time. So I get up two to three times a night to breast feed him back to sleep. Then he will be awake from 4 a.m. for about two to three hours. I tried re-settling him, letting him cry or giving him a feeding but nothing seems to work. I have a 11-year old son, so I am conscious of not wanting to wake him. My 11-year old wakes up 6 a.m. so basically I start my day at 4 a.m. He takes two one-hour naps at 11Am and 2PM. Please help very sleep deprived at night.
My son Tristan now 18 months gets to sleep between 7 pm and 7:30 each night, he has a bath about five pm then a feed then usually watches a kids video for a while then by 7ish he gets a bit grumpy and waves to me and his dad good night and that is when we know to put him to bed, give him his dummy and no bottle at this stage put him in his cot with radio on low and light at the dim for a while till he sleeps then a couple of hours later I will go in switch off lights leave music on all night really low volume and give him his night feed between 9:30 to 10:30. He will sometimes wake up a few times for his dummy but not all the time but then as soon as we find it goes back to sleep till about 5 am for a bottle feed, nappy change and usually sleeps again till 8 am. But how to get rid of his dummy that is my challenge now! mind you he only has it for bedtime or naps only
Hi,
We implemented the Sleep Sense Program with our 9 month old daughter when she was 3 weeks old. By 9 weeks she was sleeping through the night and bedtime has always been EASY – we have a bedtime routine and rarely does she fuss when we put her in her crib. However, this past week or so, bedtime hasn’t been as easy because she is dealing with some separation anxiety. We do the entire bedtime routine without any problem, but when we put her down and leave the room, she cries extremely hard. We let her cry for a little bit, but then go calm her down, leave, and then its just the same cycle over and over. We have tried the “staying in the room” method, but that just seems to make it worse. We aren’t against letting her cry some, but it’s difficult to let her cry it out when she is this upset. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. One more thing – she doesn’t have this problem for naps – just bedtime. Thanks!
Hi Dana,
Naps
My 9 1/2mth old son doesn’t seem to want to sleep during the day. Every nap time is a struggle, taking up to an hour to go to sleep, if he goes to sleep at all. I know he needs to nap, as he’s a different baby the days he has slept. I’ve tried moving nap times, and tried to let him cry, he just got very distressed and started to hate his cot. He sleeps well most nights and is going to sleep at 8 and wakening at 6/7. He goes to sleep in his cot at night but just crys and stands up during the day. What nap times should I be aiming for, and how should I deal with his day time tantrums? Everytime I leave him with anyone, they either rock him to sleep or give up altogether. So I want to get it sorted, that anyone can put him in his cot when he’s tired and he will go over to sleep himself. Any help appreciated.
Thanks
Hi Dana! I have a 10.5 month old who was waking up 6-8 times per night and would stand at the side of her crib. We actually started going in and laying her back down before we started your program and now that we have implemented your program, she has been falling asleep better, but when she wakes up, she still stands then after 10 minutes of crying when we go to check on her, she is sitting up sleeping. She won’t lay down unless we lay her down. She has never done this on her own ever! I have even left her like that for 30 minutes and she fusses off and on as her head bobs and wakes herself up, but she won’t lay down on her own!! What should we do in this situation??
hi my son is 10 months old he wakes about 5 times a night i get up and put his dummy in his mouth and every night i have to give him a bottle this can be any time of the night He goes to sleep between 7.30 and 8 pmand cgoes to sleep by him self how do i stop the night time feed.
My 22 month old son use to get up in the middle of the night and come and sleep in our bed, now that we got him a bigger bed we are trying to get him to sleep all night in his bed but to no avail. We have no problem getting him to go to sleep in his bed by himself after a bedtime story but still he wakes up in the middle of the night to try and sleep in our bed or for one of us to go sleep with him in his bed. He has only slept through the night once in his bed with out getting up in the middle of the night.
My husband and I are at our wits end and don’t know what to do anymore we have tried everything we can think of.
Please help us.
Hello Dana. My daughter Iris is 17 months old and I’ve started the sleep program with her for about 3weeks. Iris sleeps in the same room as my husband and I but in her crib. Her crib is on my side of the bed. When I started the sleep program I had a stomach virus and I was sick for 2weeks. I would bath her, sing to her while I put her pajamas on, give her a snack, then I would put her down between 7:00-7:20pm. Iris normally falls asleep around 7:45 everynight, before she wasnt going to sleep till 9pm or later. I did sit by her crib but since I was sick, I would sit as long as I could, then I would lay down since my stomach was hurting and tell Iris “night night” she would fall asleep, then I would sit in the middle of my bed, same thing, she would fall asleep around 7:45 which was ok with me. My husband and I noticed she was sleeping thru the night, she would wake up and be back to sleep withing 2 minutes, but now Ive put the chair on my door way and when she falls asleep around 7:45, I notice shes waking up every 30 minutes to an hour all night, she seems like if shes uncomfortable. I do check her diaper and only offer her water in a sippy cup, sometimes she will take the water but most of the time, she just cries and since we share rooms, I tell her “night night Iris” she will lay back down but then gets right back up. Also another problem Im having is her naps. Her grandma takes care of her while my husband and I are at work and she says Iris naps for about 2hours at the same time but when I have her I have a hard time putting her down for a nap, she screams and cries and I can tell shes tired, but she wont sleep. Please Help
Thanks
Ana
Hi Dana;
I have a 21 month old son who will not sleep through the night. During the day he will take a 2 hour nap and ,he goes to bed around 9 pm with me and his stuffed lamb, I lay with him until he falls asleep singing “twinkle little star”. He stays asleep until around 2:30 AM, then he is up and down the rest of the night, he is a very restless sleeper and is all over the bed at night. Is there anything I can do to get him to get the rest he needs at night?
I wonder what your response was to Emma #13, her baby sounds a lot like my little granddaughter ,although Maggies does not nap well, sleeping about 35 minutes for 2-3 naps per day. She needs to be nursed or have a bottle or stroller ride to fall asleep during the day and now none of those works well anyway. She is now 7 months and at 6 months my daughter started to put her to bed at 6:30 p.m. After 3 weeks of this bedtime routine as you recommend she still cries for at least 15 minutes ( very hard crying) but then manages to soothe herself to sleep. At the beginning it was an hour and a half which was very hard for my daughter to allow as she hardly cried at all prior to this new bedtime but always fell asleep nursing. Now she sleeps for about 45 minutes ( with her new bedtime around 6:30) awakes for a short time and wakes and cries after about 7:30 or so but is back to sleep on her own after 10 minutes of crying then she sleeps until midnight or 1 a.m. wakes up wanting to nurse and will cry hard if left in her crib ( going in soothing and leaving as you recommend only makes her hysterical when you leave , becoming more hysterical with each coming in soothing and leaving) so my daughter takes her to her room feeds her for 5 minutes and she always falls asleep, she puts her back in her crib and then she wakes at 3 and 5 with the same routine. At 6 she wakes for the day and my daughter takes her into her bed until 7 but she may or may not sleep , sometimes plays but my daughter does not interact with her when she get s up with her at 7. To complicate matters she
has been teething since 3 months with a lot of pain and 2 teeth finally coming through this week(at 7 months).
She has had a lot of homeopathic teething remedies which help minimally but even Tylenol was not really helping and the Dr. has now recommended Motrin which is better but my daughter wonders how much all of this has impacted on her sleep. Suggestions please!!
Hi,
My son is 8 months old and is able to fall asleep on his own during his naps and night time. But he still wakes up in the middle of the night for his milk. He sleeps by 8pm and normally wakes up at around 11pm and around 4am for his feeds. He sleeps again on his own after his milk. He is taking his 3 meals plus 3 milk feeds (ie every 2 hours he is either eating or drinking milk). When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he seems to be hungry. He drinks his milk really fast and i burp him and put him down. He needs around 5-10 minutes to settle. My question is that if my child really needs 2 extra feeds at night. He has been having a small appetite since birth (ie he drinks and eats small amount every few hours). What should i do to let him sleep through the night. I am worried that he really needs his milk at night…..
Hi Dana-
Help! My seven-month old is STILL not sleeping through the night. For the past month, I’ve been following the same bedtime routine-massage, botttle feed, followed by bath. I put him down between 6:30 and 6:45 pm; he is drowsy but awake.
He wakes every two to three hours and nurses back to sleep.
During the day he takes about two naps for a total nap time of 2.5-3 hours.
He is usually very tired and sleepy by 5pm.
I thought that if he goes to sleep unassisted in the evening, then he is likely to fall back asleep when he wakes in the middle of the night.
How can I help my son sleep through the night?
Thank you for your time.
Alison Bacchus
Hello,
I am hoping someone can help me with my nine month old baby. I have established a sleep routine with him, in which he gets a bath around 7pm and takes a bottle right after to keep him warm, and falls asleep by nine. It is impossible to do it any earlier because my 3 year old is very active and loud and would wake himn up. So by nine they both go to sleep. My baby doesn’t need a bottle to sleep or be rocked, we place him on the bed an he will fall asleep just by patting his back. I know this is a problem but it is the only way. When we try to put him to sleep on his own he cries badly until he throws up. We place him on his crib and he will wake up at least once through the night. It could be 2am, 3 or 4, or 5am and he’ll cry, and when we try to ignore it he cries so much he will wake up his brother, stands up on his crib and will not go back to sleep. So after many restless days we decided to help everyone sleep by picking him up when he cries and placing him in our bed. He automatically falls back asleep but if we place him back in the crib later on when he wakes up he screams. I don’t know what to do anymore. I need help… what can I do to help my infant sleep through the night in his crib, and let everyone sleep in peace and quiet. oh, and did I mention that we live in a small apartment of two rooms, therefore the baby has to sleep in our bedroom because there are no other rooms available in the apt.
PLEASE HELP
Hi Dana,
My daughter is 19 months old and we have a bedtime routine that starts with a bath. I know I need to stop, but she gets a sippy cup with warm milk and takes it to bed with her. If that doesn’t do it then she gets some water also to fall asleep on.
Our biggest problem is she wakes up anywhere from 4am-7am. At that time I give either more water or another warm milk, because I want her to sleep for a little longer. How can I get her to sleep without a bottle?
Thank You!
Hi my daughter she is 16months she go sleep 7pm but wak up 5am she palin herslef but not
carrying she is not back to sleep. day time she sleep 11:30am to 2:00pm.I tray everyting pleas you help me. thank you.
my daughter is 23 months and is waking up 2-3 times in the middle of the night. She gets up and walks to our room. We immediately turn her back around and tell her “no – you have to sleep in your bed like a big girl”. She normally will just lay there and fall back asleep within 5 min – but then she is up again walking to our room 2 hours later. Sometimes she will cry when I put her back to bed until I stay by her side until she falls asleep again. How do I get her to stay asleep all night?
Hi there,
My daughter is 22 month old. She has a set bedtime routine that we follow, goes to bed awake, gets her last drink of warm milk in a sippy cup no later than 7PM and is in bed around 8PM. We always make sure to change her bum before she goes down, but it seems as though she holds her pee until 4 or 5AM and cries because of the really wet diaper. Many times she leaks and I believe this is why she is fussing and won’t re-settle herself until we go in. She wears a size 6 Baby Dry Pamper. We try to leave her as long as possible until we think her fussing is escalating. If we do change her bum, we simply sing a song and put her down awake – same as bedtime. Is there anything we can do if it is the wet diaper waking her up?
MY BABY KEEPS WAKING UP.HE IS THE TYPE WHO HAS TO GET HIS REG.NAPS,ETC. OR HE GETS SOOO WIRED I CANNOT GET HIM TO SLEEP. HE WILL SLEEP ABOUT 1 HOUR AND LIKE CLOCKWORK ,WAKE UP. I LEAVE HIM BE UNLESS HE GETS TOO UPSET AND ALOT OF TIMES AFTER BEING AWAKE FOR 20 MIN OR SO HE WILL GO BACK TO SLEEP., AND THEN AWAKE AGAIN ….BUT IT IS A CONSTANT CYCLE. I CANT PLAN ANYTHING BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE ABOUT A 2 HOUR WINDOW BEFORE HE IS CRANKY AND READY FOR BED AGAIN.
IT IS LIKE SOMBODY GAVE HIM CAFFEINE.HE SLEEPS FROM 8 PM TO APX. 7 AM.SOMTIMES WITHOUT WAKING,BUT GENERALY HE WAKES 3-4 TIMES A NITE.BUT HE DOESNT STAY AWAKE LIKE DURING THE DAY NAPTIME.I FEEL HE HAS GOT TO BE WAY OVER-TIRED.
IF HE HAS MISSED EVEN 1 NAP IT MESSES UP THE REST OF HIS SLEEP PATTERNS.
HE WILL NO LONGER TAKE NAPS ON THE GO. HE WILL FALL ASLEEP FOR 20- 30 MIN.IF HE IS EXHAUSTED BUT OTHERWISE HE IS AWAKE THE WHOLE TIME WE ARE OUT, AND I KNOW IT IS NOT SIMPLY BECAUSE HE IS NOT TIRED ,BECAUSE HE GETS CRABBY AND HIS EYES GET RED AND GLAZED OVER TO THE POINT YOU WOULD THINK HE WOULD SIMPLY PASS OUT. BUT HE KEEPS ON GOING….THANKS FOR ANY HELP,TRACY
my daughter 22mths does not go to bed until 10:30 sometimes 11:00. i put her down in the bed but shae just plays and talks and does everything else but go to sleep. most of the time she sleeps through the night and is usually up in the morning by 9:00(or i will get her up by then). i generally let her nap about 2-2 1/2 hours then i will get her up. what should i do about this problem. most of the time when she goes through her bed fits she is calling for daddy who picks her up and soothes her or holds her or rocks her hoping to put her to sleep. 80% of the time it does not work and he ends up putting her right back where she was which makes the problem worse i feel. how do we get her to go to bed at a decent hour(preferably between 8:30-9:00.
I am going through the potty-training process with my 3 1/2 year old son which is going great. My issue is that once he is in bed with lights out at 8PM, usually by 8:15PM he is either calling out to me or getting out of bed because he has to go to the bathroom. He almost always has to go and I do not want to discourage him but not sure how long I should tolerate it. I always ask him to go before turning out the lights but he says he does not have to.
How do we stop rocking before bed?
Dana, my son is 21 mo and we’ve bounced or rocked him from day one-now we have a glider-for the past year-it seems to be the only way he will calm down. We read books before naps and bed and sit on the floor-he is up and down and will sit on our lap to read, or stack books or whatnot-but it is quiet time. Then we turn out the light and rock for 5-10 mins so he will settle down-esp at naptime. I really don’t want to rock anymore. I’ve tried just doing the normal routine and putting him in his crib-but he plays bust mostly yells/cries-I leave him about 20 mins then go back in-and rock-he often drops his lovee stuffed animal that he sleeps with-I know he probably does this to get me in there. He’s also been waking again at night and wants to be rocked! We do put him down awake though-but naps are much harder-somedays he won’t fall asleep after an hour so I go in and hold him till he is alsleep! UGH I am at a loss.
thank you
Keri
Dana. Ana Julia is 16 months old, she has a really good bed time routine and was working for me but not anymore, she goes bed wild awake after a bottle and sleeps until 5 a.m. for another feed, she won’t start her day until 9a.m. I may be wishing too much! but I’m 26 weeks pregnant and I’m worried about when the new baby is here,I don’t have much help so what should i do?
Hi Dana
I am so exhausted. My son is six months old and has never been a sleeper. I cant get him to sleep during the day for more than 45 min at a time, he is very cranky and must be so tired, I also cant get him to sleep more than a few hours at a time at night, he will go to bed awake at 8:00 but needs me to help him by rocking him. He will wake up at 11:00 or 12:00 and no matter what I do he will not go back to sleep unless I feed him, I have rocked him for an hour in the past and he will not fall asleep, so I can’t imagine he will get to sleep by himself without me. Even with feedings in the night he seems very restless, he does sleep with me because I can barely function with him next to me, I can’t imagine having to get up every hour sometimes to go to his crib. He is breastfed and is in the 90th% for weight, he does not need to eat, but I end up feeding him 2x a night. Then he is awake at 6:00 for the day. Oh my I am sooooo tired. I never thought it would be this hard Please help us, he must be so tired too. I am worried for him.
Thank you
my 10 month old will go to bed fine but wake up screaming into the night. Not sure if it teeth, do i let her cry it out. We did that once and she cried for 3 hours… I am so tired of getting up and want to know what is the answer. I do not want this to be a habit for her.. Please help…One tired mother
Hi Dana
My daughter Dembe is 6 and half months and for the last month we have been doing the bath/pj/feed/sleep at 7-7.30pm, this works with her only crying for about 10-15mins before falling asleep. During the night however she wakes at 10.30pm(sometimes earlier)for a feed then about 1.30am, 4am, 6am and then awake for the day at about 7.30am. She doesn’t settle unless I feed her and consequently doesn’t feed well during the day. I have tried not feeding her when she wakes but she can scream for 2hrs!! and I have a 5yr old that needs his sleep for school and I am back at work 3 days a week. I can see I am not the only one with this problem, nice to know I am not alone. Thanks
Hi Dana, my daughter is four months old. I currently am mainly breatfeeding but top her up with bottles as she gets really hungry. I have a good bedtine routine of bath, book or song then I feed her by breast. The problem is that the only way I can get her to sleep is by me feeding her. I have tried feeding her and then putting her in her cot awake and patting her, she is ok for about 10 minutes then she screams… and I mean screams. I go in and settle her then leave the room again but she continues to cry, this can go on for 1/2 an hour if not more of intense crying. The only way to settle her is to feed her! (which I know is not good) Over the past month her sleep routine has improved, she is only waking twice but does wake at 5:30am. During the day I can now pat her to sleep which is great, I just want to be able to do the same for night time. Any ideas?
Hello!
My son is just over 6 months. He takes 2 naps for 2 hours each where he can go to sleep on his own. He goes to bed after bath and feed awake 7-7:30. He wakes a few times but I’m pretty sure it’s because he rolls onto his back and can’t go back to his tummy. I’ll wait like 10, sometimes 20 minutes and he won’t go back to sleep. By then I just give him a couple ounce bottle. I know he can put himself back to sleep because he would before he learned to roll over! I think tonight I’m going to go in and roll him on his tummy before he fully wakes. What do you suggest?
I have a 16month old who sleeps in a hammock during the day.This was the only way he sleeps for 2hr during the day.When he was a baby he would only have two 20 minute sleep which was too short of a sleep for a baby so I had to resort to a hammock .Now he is too big for the hammock and I want him to sleep in his own bed during the day.How can I do this?
Ps.My son had a sleeping problem since he was a baby with colic.
Hello Dana. My daughter Erika is 5 and a half months. We are going on holiday to Europe in 2 months. Do you have any tips on changing her day and night sleeps, as the time diference is minus 8 hours? She currently goes to bed at 7pm and starts the day at 6 to 6.30 am. She wakes up 3 times at night, because she is used to be nursed to sleep. At the moment I am in the process of getting rid of that habit, so hopefully by the time we go overseas, she can put herself to sleep. Thnak you.
Dana,
My 9 1/2 month old daughter, Brenna, is taking a much later morning nap and sometimes won’t settle down at all for a morning nap. How long do you recommend between wake up time and naps for that age of baby? She wakes for the day between 7:30 and 8 AM. I am sure that she still needs a morning nap as she acts overly tired by 12 PM or so, crying and fussing at me. But when I put her in her bed to take the morning nap at about 9:30 AM she plays and even cries for an hour or more before falling asleep around 11:00 AM. Then it seems the whole afternoon is off! What should I do to help her take 2 naps during the day?
Hi, my 20 month old son goes to bed fine, but then wakes up at about 3:30 am screaming ans shivering and heart racing as if he had a night mare we pick him up because of his shivering to comfort him and he goes back to sleep only to wake again at 5am. I know then a toddler wakes thru the night you are not supposed to pick them up and aide them back to sleep bc they will then expect you to aide them back to sleep that way every time, but when he has had a nightmare we can’t help but try to comfort him. Any suggestions.
Dana!!
My daughter is 6 months old…Im struggling with her naps….she just takes 2-3 naps a day, which is approximately half an hour each….i tried to rock her as soon as she wakes up, tried reading, rocking, lullabyes, etc and even left her to cry for 45 minutes, but she doesnt go back to sleep…..she appears tired during day, yawning, rubbing eyes…..i tried to even take her for a drive, but she doesnt nap in car either…..she falls asleep while feeding, sleeps for half hour and then she is awake…..tried putting her in crib in drowsy state…..she would cry for an hour, but doesnt sleep on her own…..i end up rocking and putting her to sleep…..guess she associates feeding with sleep…..overall, she sleeps around 12 hours a day…..touchwood, she sleeps at night, goes to bed around 8-8:30 pm and wakes up around 7:30 am with no night feedings….im lucky for that, but her naps r big struggle……if we go out, she doesnt feed nor sleeps….i feel guilty taking her out, disturb her schedule, but i just cant stay home whole time…..
Help me to schedule her naps without crying please…..
Hi my name is Karyn, my little boy Casey is 20mths now and since he was sick in hospital at 12mths he has not gone back to sleeping almost through the night. He was having a dinner at around 5pm, then A2 milk about 100mls at 7pm before bed. He goes to bed awake and settles himself. But is waking again for a bottle of soy formula at around 9:30 and wakes again around 2:30pm and then again 6pm and getting up about half hour later. I need advise on how to get him off the bottle and to get him to sleep through the night. He has a morning sleep of just over an hour each day around 11am.
Thank you.
hi i put elijaha to sleep at 9pm in my bed, then carry him into his room he’ll sleepfor 2 to 4 hrs then climb into bed with me i wake up to find him there. what can i do?
HELP! My 6 and a half month old Bailey is a wonderful happy baby but also a bad sleeper. We have recently started trying to get her to self settle in her cot but we are still at the stage where I need to be there stroking her hair until she is at least very drowsy. We try to keep the same bedtime routine every night. Bath and then PJ’s and then bottle, which we always try to keep her awake for. Her bed time is usually around 9-9.30pm. No matter what time we put her to bed she will wake a few times through the night – actually in the past week there have been quite a few nights where she has woken every hour! Before this occurance though she mostly wakes at 3, a pat on the bum will sooth her back to sleep and then a gain at 4 with the same result (sometimes more throughout the night). The worst part is, she wakes at 6 EVERY morning, which I know can be lucky for some, but she is still obviously tired and the big thing is she doesn’t want to feed until at least 9am! I try to get her straight away so the chances of her going back to sleep are grater but it hardly ever works. Lately I have let her gurgle to herself for a while but by 8 or 8.30am she is too tired to feed so I will have to put her back to bed before her bottle. How can I stretch her night time sleep so she wakes up closer to her feed time in the morning? I have tried feeding her earlier but she just isn’t interested!
My son is 6 months old and completely relies on his soother to fall asleep. We have a bedtime routine that we follow every night at 7:00 – - bath, p.j.’s, bottle and Jackson is normally asleep by 7:30 p.m. We put him in his crib awake and with a soother. We will sometimes spit his soother out and we have to go and put it back in or he will not settle. He will work himself up into tears. I have to get up about 3-4 times a night to put his soother back in his mouth. We have tried to leave him but he wakes himself up and then it takes longer for him to go back to sleep, so I quickly get up and pop it back into his mouth. This broken sleep is starting to catch up to me. He normally needs a early morning feed between 5-6 a.m. and then will go back to sleep until about 7 am (or 8 am if I bring him into bed with me after his early morning feed). How can I get my son not to rely on the soother at night???
Hi Dana,
I read your articles and find them helpful, as I have a 16 month old and although she occasionally wakes up in the night it’s so rare that I consider myself fortunate for a baby that sleeps through the night!
But, I have a question for you: I’m wondering if you address night terrors and other difficulties around sleep as potential effects of a baby/child being sexually abused. The stats are 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by the time they are 18, and sadly sexual abuse can start as early as infancy.. so I’m wondering if for parents that have issues with their children sleeping or that have night terrors if you advise them to rule out any abuse that may be occurring in the household. I know it sounds unbelieveable that this could happen and many parents do not want to even think or believe that this could happen in their home, but it does. I know that there are many other reasons for sleep issues, but wanted to see what your thoughts are on this. I am a LCSW and have worked with sexual abuse survivors and do prevention in this area so this is a topic that is near to my heart. Thanks for your response!
o yes i forgot to say she does not go back to sleep untill 4 or 5 am after waking at 2 or 3
Elise will be 3 in june she goes to bed at 8pm after she has had her wash change and milk . she wakes at 2 or 3 in the morning crying and we have problems getting her to settle againe ,but when she does finaly go back to sleep, she is awake again at 8am . she is also going thou the temper tantram stage
Hi there,
My 7 month old goes to bed every night at 7pm…bath, bottle and to bed wide awake. She is a dream that way. The only thing is, she wakes up once between 3-4am for a feed….is this just out of habit…..she is a good sized baby, she shouldn’t need to feed anymore….should I let her cry it out for a few days?
Thank you :)
Wendy
My son is 4 YEARS old and does not know how to go to sleep on his own. He insists we sleep with him, and he wakes a number of times each night and comes into our bed. While he is sleeping, he continues to reach for me, and moves his hands on my neck and you can tell he never gets a great sleep, needless to say, neither do I. When I try to stay out of his bed, and get him to stay in his bed, he starts sleeping with his eyes partly open. I am his sleep toy. What can I do. Desperately Seeking Sleep! Please help!
Dana!
I am so tired by now… my son has never slept good for me… For the first 9 weeks he would only sleep during the day, there was no way to get him to stay awake more during the day, so he didn’t sleep all night .Thank God I had my mother with me for 8 weeks! She would take care of him during the day and I was awake with him all night long. That went for 9 weeks. Then all of a sudden he started sleeping from 12 AM to 5 AM, wake to feed and sleep till 9am. That lasted 4 weeks. After that we started a new routine: bath,pj’s, feed, bed. He started falling asleep all by himself (to sleep at 7PM). Since we started the routine (that was about 6 weeks ago, so he should be well used to it by now!!!!!!!!!) he wakes between 4-7 times a night, that means every 1.5 to 3 hours. It is so exhausting! I have no energy to take care of him during the day… I started to resent my own baby… I am desperate for just 4 hours of sleep… Sleep is the only thing I can think about all day! He naps 3 times a day for maximum of 45 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s not even enough for me to fall asleep! I work from home 30 hours a week and I am completely exhausted deperate for some rest! I can’t live this way anymore! We cosleep and breastfeed, he is almost 5 months old.
Please helpppppppppppppppp!
Sorry–forgot to mention wee Aidan is 10.5 months old.
Thanks,
Jennifer
The 530 AM wake up is a torture! I’ve appreciated your comments, we follow all your good principles, but nothing has helped. Our latest theory is that his poopy nappy is what wakes him at that hour–is that possible? He just won’t go over again, and changing his dirty nappy just means he’s wide awake. Help!
I have a 5 month old that is waking up too many times at night. She goes to bed at 9:30. We give her a bath then I nurse her and she is awake for about 10 minutes then I put her down. She usually falls asleep just fine. If not, we’ll give her the binky then she’ll fall asleep. Then she’ll wake up (cyring that turns into screaming) about 2 hours later, sometimes it’s been sooner. My hubby goes in and puts the binky in her mouth. Sometimes she’ll go back to sleep and sometimes she doesn’t. If she’s still fussing after a few minutes, I’ll give him a break and go in and try getting her back to sleep myself. Most of the time she’s still screaming and so I nurse her and she’ll fall asleep after that. She’s awake during the feeding so i put her back in her crib awake. Sometimes she’ll be asleep for a few more hours after that, sometimes not. Sometimes when she has woken up crying at about 4 and won’t go back to sleep with the binky, i’ll put her in our bed and she’ll sleep till about 7. I really don’t want her in our bed at all but I know that she’ll sleep ok when i do. How do I get her to sleep through the night? Waking up 10 times at night is wearing on me!
I have a 6 month old who I am working on getting to nap and sleep through the night in his Crib. Before this I would keep him in my bed for naps and through the night. On top of that I would breast-feed him to sleep. Now I am trying to let him fuss, then check on him after a few minute and I do this cycle for a good 30 minutes….what should I do? Should I pick him up and distract him and keep trying. It seems so hard on both of us, he is a tuff little guy.
Thanks,
Amanda
my baby is 26 months old, since one year he has been waking up at night, sometimes at 2 am or 4 am and he wants to come and sleep wit us. Sometimes i sleep beside him until he falls asleep but that did not stop him from waking up at night. He takes a shower before he sleeps and drinks his milk before that too and when he is very awake. He sleeps alone so there is no problem with all that but what can i do to make him sleep through the night without waking up.
my child is 7 1/2 months old and does not sleep through the night, she goes to bed awake at 7 usually sleeping by 7 – half past 7. she has a routine bath,pjs,feed,bed but she then wakes at 10.30 and will not settle until i feed her again. i leave her to settle herself but does not work then she wakes up between 1-2, 4-5, and 6 and then we get up at half 7. each time she wakes through night she knows its night time and wants to sleep as she does not want to get up but will not go down herself always wants to feed. she naps great and eats great druing the day. can you help plaese??
My daughter is almost 16 mos old. Since she was 4 mos old she has been having (what i think) are nightmares. she cries in her sleep – and even laughs and giggles in her sleep. Some nights I am up with her 3 or 4 times trying to calm her down. Some nights – she’s perfectly fine. Due to these “nightmares” she has been sleeping in our bed since shes been 6 mos old. My question is – what can I do about these nightmares and how am i going to get her to sleep in her own bed if she is still having these cries in the middle of the night. Help…
Hi Dana,
I have been feeding my 9 1/2 month old before she naps and before bed time for quite some time now. We started off settling her before sleep, without feeding her, but she was having trouble gaining weight and concentrating on feeding, so I added in the extra feeds. She is definately alert after the nighttime feed, and then Daddy puts her down to sleep for the night, but the naptimes, usually involve her falling almost asleep and then blinking her eyes a bit before I put her down in her crib. I will be starting back to work in a little while, and need to grasp a new way to settle her into her naps, so that she can be cared for and put to sleep without mommy (breastfeeding her). Any suggestions?
Thanks,
Jamie
My 12 months old baby wakes up at 5:30 a.m. to start the day. His bed time routine is bath,pj’s, pray and put him in bed totally awake at 8:00 p.m.
How can I stretch his wake up time? I know he needs to sleep 11 – 12 hours.
my baby is 9 weeks old he falls sleep at 7pm after a bath, feed and a book (awake). then he wakes up around 1 am for food (i feed him and put him back in the cradle). then he keeps changing, he can wake up once or 2 times more (2am or 4am). how can i make him sleep the whole night).
My 6 month old goes to bed btween 7-8 PM after a bottle and a bath. We are trying so hard to put her in her crib awake, but she just stays awake, then after about 15-20 minutes, she starts to cry. I go in at intervals and shush, pat, soothe her without picking her up. She just never settles down. SOmetimes I can get her to go back after long persiods of soothing. Other times I end up with her awake for a bottle, or rocking her for up to 2 hours ( sometimes longer). Last night she woke at 1130 PM and sayed awake until 2 AM!! Then she only stayed asleep until 6. She is just not adjusting to soothing herself to sleep. What do I do?
I have a question about swaddling. My 5 month old still wakes himself by rubbing his eyes until he is upset, so we have continued to swaddle him. Is this something he will grow out of or do we need to ease him out of it? If we do need to do something, how do we do it?
My 3 1/2 month old son wakes several times a night. He wakes at 1 or 2 and then again at 4 or 5 but only eats 1 or 2 oz rather than his full feed of 6oz. Is this waking due to habit or is he really hungry? I dont want to starve him if he is hungry but if its not, how do I get him to sleep through those fake wakings?
Ps. We have a bedtime routine of bath and last bottle, he goes down awake but needs a pacifier to really put him to sleep.
My son is 22 months and still does not sleep through the night. He was born with an under developed larynx, known as laryngo malacia. As a result, he would choke often, which made me paranoid and always catering to him at night. I believe as a result, he is dependant on me and wakes at night. He goes to bed around 10 pm as suggested by the pediatrician (after having had a bath and pablum). I read him a story, put him in his crib and sit by his crib while he plays with my hair and goes to sleep. He will wake about two hours later for a cuddle and to come to bed with me and again another two hours later for an 8oz bottle feeding. I’ve tried letting him cry, but now he gets so worked up that he throws up. I need to get him through the night, in his crib. Please help.
My son Lincoln started the sleep program and has been going down between 6:30 and 7 each night and waking up for the day at 6, which is great. My issue is that since he started this training he has been screaming when we put him down for the night and for each night waking. He does not use his normal cry, it is like he wakes up and he is terrified. We just wait for him to fall back asleep, and he does fall back asleep without help, but I don’t like that he sounds terrified. Will he stop screaming and be ok soon when we leaving him in his room for the night and if he wakes up at night?
By daughter Julie has has sleep problems since she was born, starting with colic. She is now 21 months old and is now having night terrors. Do you have any advice on how to handle this?
My 10 month old gets up around 4am-5am every morning. I usually feed him and he will go back to sleep until 7am or 8am. I put him to bed around 7:30pm and he is usually wide awake but relaxed after eating. I want to cut out the feeding but he won’t go back to sleep unless I feed him. How can I cut out the feeding?
I have a nearly 8 month old and I want to stop feeding her at night but it is really distressing her when we try and soothe her without feeding.
She goes down at night into her cot, and for naps, totally awake and has done this for several months, from a very early age. So she has no sleep/milk associations. She might mither for a couple of minutes but usually she just puts her thumb in, cuddles her toy zebra and off she goes.
I’ve been following your column for quite some time now, ever since I had my 3 year old older daughter so I’ve tried a number of things already but I just can’t get Emma to translate her nap and bedtime skill into the middle of the night when she wakes for that feed. It can be anytime between 1am and 5am.
We did go through a period with other night wakings and your suggestions worked for these but not on this one. And yet when I do feed her it is very quick. Sometimes it is just a couple of minutes and almost as if she needs me to settle her in the night with milk. But since she doesn’t do it any other time I don’t really understand why.
She will just cry and cry, really hard, she gets really distressed. But I don’t really want to start cuddling her to sleep at this point as I don’t need to do it any other time and I’m worried that she’ll then start translating that need to her nap and bedtimes which would be an enormous backward step for us.
HELP!