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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
Does your baby wake for a bottle during the night? If so, pay close attention to this week’s video. (You’ll get more sleep and your baby’s dentist will thank you…)
Daniela writes:
“My baby is 12 months old and he has never slept through the night. I put him to bed at 8:00 P.M. with no problems but four hours later, he needs a bottle of milk. I feed him in bed with me and then he wakes again around five or six and needs another bottle. He won’t go to sleep without it. I tried to replace it with water and tea but he won’t take it. He screams until he gets his milk.”
First, I’m going to assume that the “tea” Daniela mentioned doesn’t mean what I think it means. We definitely don’t want to give a baby any kind of caffeinated beverage during the night if we want them or us to get any sleep. Okay?
There are some things when it comes to our children that just have to “non-negotiable.”
As an example, sunscreen is a “no-nnegotiable” in my house. There have been times in their lives when my children hated putting on sunscreen. They’d cry, they’d put up a fight, they’d yell “No! No! I don’t want it!” But sunscreen is not up for discussion; it’s a “non-negotiable.” They have to wear sunscreen. There’s no way around it. It is going to happen and we can do it the easy way or we can do it the hard way.
Eventually, they make the wise decision of taking the “easy way” and let me put sunscreen on them.
Brushing their teeth is another “non-negotiable.” At some point in their life, they’ve all resisted the idea of having their teeth brushed. They don’t always like doing it, but guess what; you have to get your teeth brushed. It has to happen; it’s going to happen. Again, should we do it the easy way or the hard way? Eventually, they choose the “easy way.”
Daniela needs to think about her baby’s bottle in the same way; it really has to be “non-negotiable.” It’s not good for his teeth, not good for his sleep and it sounds like it’s not good for her sleep either. And by 12 months of age, there are no good reasons for him to need a bottle anytime during the night.
Daniela says that putting him to bed with a bottle is no problem. But I’d guess that he is bottle feeding himself to sleep or pretty close to it at bed time. That is a problem and that needs to stop. Her first step has to be getting rid of the bottle at bedtime.
I’m a firm believer in a baby not needing a bottle after the age of one. Her baby is one, so it’s time to move away from the bottle and introduce a sippy cup of milk into his bedtime room.
Since the bottle has been a big part of his sleep strategy, don’t be too surprised if he goes on a “milk strike” when he’s offered the sippy cup. He will put up some protest when it shows up instead of the bottle but remember that it’s nonnegotiable. It’s the sippy cup or nothing. Period. Eventually, if he is really hungry for some milk, he’ll have the sippy cup. He will come around to the idea.
After the sippy cup, we will have to brush his teeth. We don’t want him going to bed without clean teeth. After teeth brushing, he should go into his crib awake, without a bottle. No more bottles before going into the crib and no more bottles in the crib.
He will probably have a tough time learning how to fall asleep without relying on the bottle. But he did learn how to fall asleep with the bottle; he can definitely learn to fall asleep without it. It just has to be one of those things that you’ve decided is best for him and now you’re going to stand by that decision. It’s non-negotiable.
When the baby wakes in the night looking for a bottle, you could offer him a sippy cup with water…but that’s it. Chances are, if he wants that bottle, he’s not going to be very happy with a sippy of water but you have to keep offering it. That is the only option; sippy of water or nothing at all.
It may be a bit easier if mom stays in the room with him during the transition. At times like this the baby can be calmer and less demanding for his bottle of milk if mom stays awhile, so that’s okay.
Bring a chair and sit beside the crib. Keep telling him “it’s sleepy time” while you lay him back down, and keep at this until he goes back to sleep without the bottle.
Sometimes a mom’s presence in the room makes things worse on them. If that’s the case, leave the room and check back in every ten minutes. Remind him each time that “it’s still nighty night” and that there are no more bottles until the morning. He will be demanding but he will go to sleep eventually without a bottle. Every baby is definitely capable of doing this.
After you’ve made the commitment to do this, it’s just really a matter of time. The good news is once they learn to fall asleep independently without the bottle, they become great sleepers. They sleep through the night and wake up refreshed. And mom wakes up rested and refreshed as well. It really is a win-win situation for both mom and baby.
Daniela does have this hill to climb with her son though. It isn’t always easy to get there, but it’s definitely worth the effort. Her son falling asleep with a bottle and then demanding a bottle in the middle of the night will not stop on its own. Daniela needs to stop it. It’s non-negotiable.
Most children who have these sort of sleep struggles continue to have them for years because the parents tell themselves “that’s what he needs,” whether it’s a bottle in the middle of the night, crawling in bed with you or some other type of sleep problem. Until they learn that they don’t “need it,” and learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own, most kids won’t outgrow that sort of thing. That’s where their parents come in. Remember, some things are non-negotiable!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
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74 responses so far ↓
1 Rachael // Oct 20, 2009 at 8:14 am
My 14 month old son used to be the perfect sleeper! I had developed a dinner-bath-stories-song routine that we both enjoyed, and then I’d put him into his cot, say goodnight and walk out. He then would go to sleep quietly by himself.
We moved house a couple of weeks ago, and since then everything’s gone topsy turvy with his sleep. He cries as soon as I try to leave, and if I stay in the room, he just plays and chatters and stands up in the cot. Then he wakes up a lot during the night, when he previously was a reliable 11-12 hour sleeper. None of this happens when his Dad puts him to bed, but unfortunately Dad can’t do it every night - and besides, I miss our beautiful bedtime hour!
Please help!
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2 Biddy Kulkarni // Oct 20, 2009 at 9:46 am
Hi there
My daughter (6.5 months) goes down to sleep fine at 6.30pm (doesn’t fall asleep at the breast) but wakes at 10.30pm, 1.30(ish) and 4 (ish) to feed.
We have just started baby led weaning and she doesn’t seem to be swallowing much at the moment so her nutrition is coming pretty much solely from breast milk.
Does she need to be waking this often do you think?
Best regards
Biddy
(London, England)
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Reply by Salvin:
October 20th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
My 6.5 month old does exactly the same as urs..he doesn’t swallow much either n having all his nutritions from Brest millk (I guess)…It’d be great to hv a solution. Thanks.
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Reply by Allison:
October 21st, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Hi Biddy,
My daughter is 6months old as well and up until last month she was nursing at about the same times as your daughter. I was exhausted! I read through Sleep Sense and decided to give it a try… so I didn’t feed her when she cried and instead would leave her for 15 min, then rub her back and speak soothingly to her. The first night she wasn’t too pleased but… she took her solid food brilliantly the next day, cried less that night and by the third night she slept through… 11 hours! She now sleeps so well AND eats so well in the daytime. I’m sure that if babies are nursing all night they aren’t nearly as hungry in the day when we offer solids. Baby led weaning is great, but I do a combination with some spoonfuls of puree so she does get a bit more substance in her tummy but also has many chances to handle and ‘gum’ food. I hope this has helped?
Allison
Southampton, England
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Reply by Stacey Godfrey:
November 12th, 2009 at 10:18 am
My son is also 6.5 months old and he has started to wake up at least three times at night for a bottle. He would only wake up once when he was a few months. He goes to bed at 7.00 and his get up time is between 6 or 7. I have been refuses all feds accept one between 11 and 12. My question is does he need 1 fed during these 12 hours at 6.5 months or should I just be feeding him water through the night?
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3 Dawn McColley // Oct 20, 2009 at 10:40 am
How can I help my almost 6 month old sooth herself back to sleep when she wakes up from naps and when she wakes at night? I don’t really like to hear her cry, but does she need to cry to go back to sleep?
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Reply by Katy:
October 21st, 2009 at 12:08 am
I would love to hear the replys if possible
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Reply by nisha:
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
My 3.5 month old cant sleep without a pacifier/dummy.. he wakes himself up after its fallen out and cant settle himself again till its back in. He wakes every hour after that and gets over tired in the day and night. How can I get rid of the dummy? I have tried leaving him to cry but its more distressing then just giving it to him.
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Reply by Rani:
October 28th, 2009 at 11:02 am
My 5.5 month old son does the same.
I too am eagerly looking for a solution to this.
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4 Lashonda Hobson // Oct 20, 2009 at 10:42 am
My son going on 1 year old everytime its bed time he has to start rolling, flipping and doing other things before he goes to sleep why is that. Another issue how can I make go to sleep on his own without rocking or patting him to sleep
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5 Mellissa // Oct 20, 2009 at 10:44 am
My son is 10.5 month old & isn’t quite yet eating table food. I still give him Gerber 1st, 2nd, & sometimes 3rd foods. He has 2 teeth on the bottom & is getting 5 teeth on the top. But every time I put something in his mouth he acts like he’s going to choke to death & gag. His face gets all red & his eyes water & he tries to spit everything out. I think he has a very sensitive gag reflex & hasn’t quite learned how to swallow something yet. So far I’ve tried cottage cheese, yogurt, noodles, mashed potatoes, and he will ‘eat’ a few bites but is struggling a lot. He does love to gum a pickle though. So I am basically trying to do the transition to table food slowly. But I was very encouraged over the weekend when he was feeding him a pizza crust & he ate some of an oreo cookie. Do you have any suggestions or advice for me on how to proceed? I’m scared to death that my son will choke to death in front of me. I am a first time mom & I’ve never done this before.
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Reply by Tanya:
October 21st, 2009 at 8:32 am
Maybe instead of Oreos and pizza you could try some teething rusks (very hard biscuits that soften on sucking) or strips of cooked then frozen zucchini for his sore gums - the cold soothes the gums. This always worked for my two children when they were teething.
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6 nesreen // Oct 20, 2009 at 10:50 am
my 14 year old daughter still can’t go to sleep without her bottle she even still wake up in the middle of the night crying for her bottle and what’s not helping me stop this bad habbit is she sleeps in the same room with me and her dad and we are sharing the same apartments with others so i can’t just leave cry because everyone starts screaming spacially her dad saying just give her her bottle so i’m really confused and i don’t know what to do…..please help
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Reply by Kate:
October 20th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Do you mean 14 month old??? Or are you seriously giving a 14 year old girl a bottle??
Either way, the best advice I can give is talk to everyone that day and explain that for a couple nights you are going to have to let her scream a little bit. And after a night or two of not having the bottle, she will probably get the idea.
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7 katy // Oct 20, 2009 at 10:50 am
Hi,
I wonder if you could help me. I breastfeed my 19 week old baby at 7pm for about 20 mins and then put her to bed AWAKE. She cries a bit (maybe 10 mins) and then falls asleep without a paci or anything. However, she does wake up about 3 more times after this, usually around 11 and again at 1 and 3 and often 6am. She can’t seem to fall asleep independently then. She also seems hungry. I feed her and put her down and she falls asleep fine.
I am not sure if she really still needs the night feeds or if she is just used to them now. Since I taught her how to settle herself at bedtime and also nap time I don’t understand why it won’t happen at night. Please, please help.
Katy
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Reply by Sam:
October 20th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Katy, she’s still very little. You’re lucky your little girl can self-soothe at such an early age although I’ve read that its best not to do control crying till they are at least 6 months because their brains can’t understand why mum is abandoning them. I personally would cut out one of the night feeds. Also are you sure 6am isn’t just her waking time? 7-6 sounds like a pretty long time for a 19 week old to be expected to go without food. Try cutting out the 3am feed and see how it goes then try the 1am one…
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Reply by Anonymous:
October 20th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
She is still under six months old, so there is a good chance she may still be hungry and still need to feed through the night. Hang on on there a bit longer and follow Dana’s guide once she is six months old.
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8 Mellissa // Oct 20, 2009 at 10:58 am
So my son’s peditrician told me to start feeding my son table food & therefore limiting the amount formula & bottles throughout the day. He said that he should eat 3 meals a day & 2 snacks with only up to 24 oz. of formula a day. Well he can’t even eat Gerber puffs or really much table food at all without choking, gagging, or spitting it out. So he’s not doing the things the peditrician said that he should. But I will tell you what we are doing. He still has about 5 bottles a day on average with about 25 oz to 28 oz. And he eats baby food twice a day, once at lunch and once at dinner. Do you have any advice on what I can do to further encourage him to feed himself and get adjusted to eating table food? He does want what I eat but acts like he doesn’t once I give him some of it. And then he ‘mistrusts’ me to feed him again. He has recently fed himself some of a pizza crust but as far as feeding himself goes, he doesn’t really do that yet. He still uses the pincher grasp. Any advice or suggestions that would help us out?
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Reply by Tanya:
October 21st, 2009 at 8:37 am
Melissa how old is your little guy? My daughter only really started eating three solid meals a day when she was ten months. Try and feed him first before the bottle this worked for me she is 13 months now and eats everything in sight.
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9 emma // Oct 20, 2009 at 11:04 am
Daniela’s story sounds similar to what happens in our house - BUT my son does not need the bottle of milk to fall asleep - He has a bottle of milk before he goes to sleep, but it is not an aid to sleep in the way described by Dana, he is awake when we say goodnight and turn off the light - without a bottle, but he does have a dummy.. I think we will try the water in a sippy cup and the accompanying strops for a few nights
I wonder - why do babies wake for milk if they don’t need it?
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Reply by Kirsty:
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Emma, I don’t think they always wake for milk. Sometimes I think they do it as comfort or habit. I found with my first son, the dummy slowed down the process of us getting him to sleep through. With my second, he refused a dummy and he has slept through since 8 months following Dana’s advice. And it only took 2 nights (actually by the second night, he only sooked for a few minutes twice overnight). You can do it!
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10 Tana // Oct 20, 2009 at 11:40 am
I have a14mth old boy who has not been sleeping through the night he wakes up about 4hrs after I put him down for a bottle and then again in the early am. He sleeps in a single bed and after the first feed is up for anywhere betwwen 2-4hrs. What do I do? Please help….
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11 Lacey // Oct 20, 2009 at 11:49 am
my daughter is 16 months and when I put her to bed she dont want to lay down so i let her cry but then when she does fall asleep its standing up. when i try to lay her back down she wakes up even madder then i really cant get her to lay. I just bring her to my bed so i can get some sleep. what can i do
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Reply by vaness:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
My daughter was the same. She would cry for hours and fall asleep standing too. This went on for nights, and eventually I tied her down. She wore a sleep sack, so I took a scarf and strung it through the back of the sack, under her back, and tied both ends to the crib. This way she couldn’t get up. Fighting against it tired her out too. I just waited for her to fall asleep, and when she did, I untied it all and removed it so that she was safe. It only took twice, and she was cured. Good luck.
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12 anne Dixon // Oct 20, 2009 at 12:12 pm
my 5 month old used to have 3 overnight bottles, now we’re down to 2 (after a night of crying when i denied the 2nd bottle). at what age should i deny another (or both) remaining bottles?
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Reply by Anonymous:
October 20th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Six months!
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13 sharon ortiz // Oct 20, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I have a 12 moth old baby that takes a bottle of milk at bedtime. She wakes in the night for a bottle as well. We are trying to wean her but we share a room with her. She stands in her crib and screams staring at us for an hour or so. Should we ignore her or try to soothe her? She sees us and knows we are there.
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Reply by Kirsty:
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:27 pm
You can try a lay-down approach that I did with my first son where you stand at the cot and lay her down. When she stands up, lay her down again. Continue until you have laid her down 10 or so times. You will notice each time, that she will stay down longer. If she does stay down, as a reward, place your hand on her tummy and say “good girl”. After 10 times, go back to bed. Wait a certain amount of time and do it again. 10 more times. You will find that eventually she will get the picture and stay down. I think when trying anything like this it’s about seeing it through and everyone has to be prepared to be a little bit tired for a few days. Good luck.
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14 selene // Oct 20, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Hi, my 13 month old son has all of a sudden begun to scream blue murder when i put him to bed at night.We did have a fantastic routine, dinner, play bath, bottle then to bed awake, he would fall asleep all by himself and had been doing this since he was 9 months, he would wake in the night he does have a dummy you could just put it back in and off he would go again and this wasn’t every night, we are back to wakening 2-3 times and screaming you go in the room and he will stop. lie down and try and go back to sleep but as soon as you go to leave him he cries again, i am trying to leave him to cry but i find it so hard so i find myself after 30 mins of screaming i give in and go and sit by the cot until he goes into a deep sleep.Do you have any ideas?Please??Thankyou
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15 Melissa // Oct 20, 2009 at 1:43 pm
My baby still wakes up every night about 2 times (at 12 am and 5 ish) to breastfeed and he is now 8 months old. I am not a fan of crying it out, so I don’t want to ignore him if he is hungry genuinely, but he is eating some solids three times a day and nursing plenty during the day on top of that. How do I get him to sleep all the way through the night without bellowing it out? I am still so tired!
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Reply by Deborah:
October 21st, 2009 at 8:23 pm
My little man is pretty much the same.He is nearly 7 months old and never slept through a night.He goes down at about 7.30pm and then wakes at varying times through the night for a bottle.Sometimes its 2am sometimes its 4am, and not only does he wake for a bottle sometimes he just wakes and I have to go in there and put him back to sleep.He also normally wont nap in the afternoon, so hence he gets over tierd and very cranky.No matter what I do he just wont go down.I am so over tierd myself and cant see the light at the end of the tunnell right now.Please help what am i doing wrong?
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Reply by Kirsty:
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Melissa- could your little one be cold? At around 12 and 4am is when temperatures drop overnight so maybe putting him in a baby sleeping bag (or sleeping sac) could help. Give it a go.
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16 Elise // Oct 20, 2009 at 1:57 pm
My son is 12months and I stared to put music in his room so he could listen to it while he straying to fall asleep. Am I doing something wrong or is it ok. I just get the feeling that in the future my son won’t be able to fall a sleep with out music. Please help.
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Reply by monica:
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
My daughter is 6 month and since I introduced music (lullabies) in her room she falls asleep with it perfectly without my help. I dont see any inconvenient, my older daughter is 3 and still like it. It is soothing and calming for them.
Good Luck!!!
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17 Kate // Oct 20, 2009 at 2:02 pm
My daughter is almost 10 months old and she still wakes several times a night (up to 8 times!!!!) Most of the time she will go right back to sleep, but not without me soothing her somehow, whether it’s breastfeeding, rocking, pacifier, or just rubbing her back a little bit. She is also walking already, so now when she wakes up she wants to stand up in her crib or in my bed and it takes even more work to get her to lay down to sleep again. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried letting her fuss a little before I go to her, hoping that she would settle down on her own, but it just riles her up even more. Could she have a sleep disorder? Would that explain the extensive night waking???
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Reply by lydia:
October 20th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
My son is 11 months old. He co-slept with me because he woke up every 3 hours every night or every 1-2 hours when he was younger. I let him cry for his first wake up and fed him water only. After two days he was fine with water at 12am and went back to sleep in 2 minutes, but did not take it after 12am.
Two days ago, I bought a sleep sac for him because he got cold due to kicking the cover at night twice in past 2 weeks. Guess what? The “side affect” was he slept 8 hours straight in the sleep sac in past 2 days. It had never happened before. And, he used to turn 360 degree at night when he slept, and it does not happen any more with the sleep sac.
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18 Rozsika // Oct 20, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I was in the same situation as Daniela and already follow your advice from the video for my 2 year old. My daughter has a bath, snack, sippy cup, brush teeth, story, some songs and then we put her in the crib for the night to fall asleep by herself, which she does. However, she’s still waking up asking for milk in the middle of the night at some point and cries for milk. We don’t give her any, just water, but she stays awake for 1-2 hours, either fussing or saying she has to go to the bathroom, wanting to play, etc. and then eventually she gets genuinely hungry being up for so many hours, and we have to give her a snack. We leave her in the crib pretty much the whole time. What’s wrong? How can I get her to accept that she just has to sleep and not eat/drink?
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Reply by siobhen:
October 20th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
i have a 5 month old son i was breastfeeding i would put him asleep in his crib about 8 then he will wake up so i would breastfeed but then he would be in my bed all night and got used to it now and wont sleep with out us and even wen he does sleep with us he wakes up constantly tossing and turning plese help
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Reply by Lisa Tanner:
October 20th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
My son is 20 weeks old he some times goes to bed at 7:30pm - 8pm falls asleep at the breast or in the bouncer then gets put in to bed (first mistake) I dont like him crying it out cause it wakes him up. He wakes up at about 10:30pm somtimes earlier to feed then goes back to sleep on the breast then wakes up every 1 and a half to two hours all night. Most of the time im so tired that I will put him in our bed at around 3:30am to feed him and fall asleep till 5:30am feed him then hes wide awake at either 6am or 7am….. I could really do with some help this has been going on for the past 5 or 6 weeks and I could really do with more than an hours sleep at a time!!!!! He has a nap at 9am and 1pm (sometimes) He use to sleep straight through from 8 weeks and was a really happy baby now he is constanty grumpy and unsettled but still has his happy moments to. I could really do with some advice!!!!
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19 Samantha // Oct 20, 2009 at 4:01 pm
I have been able to get my daughter to bed smoothly for a while now, but once a week I play volleyball, and my husband has to put her down. Usually, it doesn’t go too well. Last week he said she didn’t fall asleep until almost 10. How do I help him figure out what he is doing wrong. I have told him what I do, but he just keeps letting her play and never makes her go to bed. I have suggested that we alternate bedtime every other day so that he gets more used to it, but he keeps finding a way out of it if I am in the house. Any ideas?
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20 meliah // Oct 20, 2009 at 4:14 pm
my question is that my baby is 8 months and still cant sleep through the whole night what is wrong?
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21 Rachel // Oct 20, 2009 at 4:15 pm
My son has just gone 4 months he was sleeping great till about 2 weeks ago now he is waking at 12, 4 and 5.30 every night y is he in this habit and why the same times each night. Also when he wakes at 4 i offer him a bottle but isnt hungry so he isnt waking for food HELP.
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22 hilary // Oct 20, 2009 at 4:46 pm
my 20 month old son falls asleep easier but after reading the above blogs it must be because i allow me to finish his milk while lying in his bed. for the last few weeks hes been waking up at 1, 3 and 5 moaning and takes up to 15mins to settle but never on his own. my partner finds it hard to cope with the broken sleep so we try to stop him crying quickly with all the wrong things.
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23 vinoba // Oct 20, 2009 at 5:38 pm
My 6 months old son still wake up at midnight for his milk. I give him a bath at about 6.45pm dinner at 7pm and give him.a bottle feed again at 9.30. He never seems to be able to go to sleep without us rocking him. Whenever I tried to put him in his cot while he is awake he cries murder. I give him a bottle about 12.30 and he used to wake about 6.30 in the morning but recentlyt he keeps on waking up about 4 and I have to pat him to sleep, then he wake up at 5.30 for a feed. The lack of sleep is making me tired and run down and I can’t seem to do any other housework because during the time he is awake he expects me to either sit next to him or carry him. Please help!
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24 megan hunkin // Oct 20, 2009 at 6:00 pm
hi, i have a 13 month old girl who still breastfeeds on demand. she sleeps the whole night in bed with me (im a single mum so its nice to have her so close) but id like to stop the feeds of a night because i dont want to risk bad teeth. what should i do. if i put her in the coty awake she will cry for hours and its very bad. its so nice and happy doing it the way i have been it would really confuse her if i just suddenly said no more sleeping in my bed no more boob to go to sleep non negiotable….. how can i do what i know will be the best thing in the long run without making her think i hate her?
eventually i want her to be in her own bed and sleeping through…. but i need a slow plan that wont be to harsh on our bond. thanks
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25 Lisa Tanner // Oct 20, 2009 at 6:28 pm
My son is 20 weeks old he goes to bed at 7:30pm - 8pm sometimes falls asleep at the breast or in the bouncer then gets put in to bed (first mistake) I dont like him crying it out cause it wakes him up. He wakes up at about 10:30pm somtimes earlier to feed then goes back to sleep on the breast then wakes up every 1 and a half to two hours all night. Most of the time im so tired that I will put him in our bed at around 3:30am to feed him and fall asleep till 5:30am feed him then hes wide awake at either 6am or 7am….. I could really do with some help this has been going on for the past 5 or 6 weeks and I could really do with more than an hours sleep at a time!!!!! He has a nap at 9am and 1pm (sometimes) He use to sleep straight through from 8 weeks and was a really happy baby now he is constanty grumpy and unsettled but still has his happy moments to. I could really do with some advice!!!!
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26 sue // Oct 20, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Hi! My 5 month old baby has never slept through the night. I have been breast feeding him & putting him down awake. But, he cries till I pick him up & rock him to sleep. Sometimes, he refuses to sleep till 10pm. He wants to feed every 2 hours at night. I started him on solids thinking that would help him sleep better. But that has not helped at all. Help!!! I want my evenings back, and atleast a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
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27 Jaclyn Tagg // Oct 20, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Please Help!!
My 17month old has always been a bad sleeper. When I finally started a sleep/eat routine it took a week for breastfed 13month old bubs to sleep throught the night going to bed awake - from 7pm to 7am. Then he got sick and wouldn’t have any liquid other than breast, so I fed him whenever he needed it, including 3 times through the night.
When he was better, he’d go to bed fine, awake with no problem. Through the night I let him ‘cry it out’ and the next night and the following nights he slept from 7pm to 5.30am. It didn’t bother me, it was better than the original waking every 2 hours.
As things got better, Baby Rhys at 16months old got swine flu. An extremely terrible and scary flu. He would only take breast, and most of the time wouldn’t even take that. He would scream most of the day and night and would only settle in daddy’s arms and go to bed asleep, then sleep for 3 hours, then up again and daddy would take half an hour to an hour to get him to sleep then bed.
When he was better, again, he went to bed awake and without any trouble, through the night I left him to ‘cry it out’ again. He was waking at midnight for a feed and at 5am. I let him cry at the midnight feed and after a couple of nights, now sleeps through from 7pm or 8pm going to bed awake, to anywhere between 4.30am and 5.15am. When he wakes at these times, he’s starving. I’ve tried letting him ‘cry it out’, but he cries for half an hour, sleeps for half an hour, then wakes again and cries and screams. I can’t get him to sleep past 5.30am without a breastfeed.
How can I get rid of this feed?
He has one or two small milk drinks through the day before his day nap (going to bed awake and going down without any trouble). I give him 3 meals a day until he turns his head (or in his case, flaps his arms and says ‘no’), and he has healthy snacks through the day.
I need to sort this out - It’s getting easier, but it’s been so hard up until now. Especially since my husband goes away for work for 2 to 3 weeks at a time every 2 to 3 months.
Thanks for listening.
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28 Hannah // Oct 20, 2009 at 9:36 pm
My 6 month old wakes every hour for the dummy to be put back in. I’ve recently stopped her having an early bottle at around 5 and push her to do 12 hours between feeds which she is nearly got the hang of. But now I am up ALOT putting the dummy back in. I am getting hardly any sleep. Most times she’ll go back to sleep quickly, but sometimes she cries on and off. I’m also still wrapping her with her arms down which she isnt keen on. She likes them up and free but then she pulls the dummy out and cant get it back in. I dont know what to do. I am exhausted. My husband does night shift so I’m on my own and I’m just not coping with the lack of sleep. She eats her last meal (solids) at 6.30, then bed at 7.30 then I’ll feed her in the morning at 6.30am again. Thank you
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29 m fanelli // Oct 20, 2009 at 11:11 pm
My 3 month old son does not take more than 20 minute naps in his crib during the day. However, if I put him in his car seat he will sleep 1-3 hours. He does sleep 3-6 hours in his crib at night. How can I get him to sleep in his crib during the day? At what age do you put a child in his crib awake and expect them fall asleep on their own? Also, how do I get him to sleep through the night?
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Reply by Candice:
October 21st, 2009 at 4:25 pm
My son does the same thing. He is just over 3 months old. He is a good sleeper at night, goes to bed around 8 and still gets up once at about 3, and then around 7 to start the day. BUT during the day it is difficult to get him to nap for any length of time in his crib. When in his swing, the stroller or the car he often falls alseep immediately and for long periods of time. I too would like to know how to get him to have better naps during the day without relying on the car or a swing.
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Reply by emma:
October 24th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
My daughter is 6 months old and has only recently started to sleep during the day and from when she was born to 4 months only slept for 1/2 hour a day - it does get better she now sleep 3 hrs during the day but only in her pram which I am now switching to her cot which is a slow process. But remember that it all melts away when they have a big smile on their face in the morming.
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30 Jeanette // Oct 21, 2009 at 1:02 am
My daughter is 14 months old. She has always woken once, twice or more during the night and cant self settle. We give her a bottle before bed at night and place her into her cot asleep. I know this is the wrong thing to do but all attempts of putting her to bed awake are met with screaming which she can seem to do all night. When I or my husband go in there she just screams more until she is picked up and then it takes a long time to calm her down. Leaving her to scream is just awful and this is why we have given in to the bottle again and again. We have started controlled crying but she gets so worked up its hard to continue with it. When all else fails we bring her into our bed which means none of us get a good nights sleep. Please help! Thanks
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31 Kerry // Oct 21, 2009 at 1:43 am
My 5 month old has been sleeping quite well. She wakes up once a night for a feed, but is very restless in between. She settles when I put the pacifyer in her mouth, but she seems to need the pacifyer several times during the night.
I have a two year old who stopped sleeping well from around 6 months (waking 6-8 times a night). She also used a pacifyer and we had the same problem.
I’m concerned that the pacifyer is playing a roll in disrupting her sleep and that after she turns 6 months, we are going to battle with the same sleep issues that my 2 year old had.
Can anybody comment on this and let me know if they have experienced something simliar?
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32 Elaina // Oct 21, 2009 at 9:16 am
My son will be three in November. He sleeps in his own bed now for about six months. My problem is he is waking up two or sometimes four or five times a night. So I am walking back and forth all night getting no sleep. Last night he woke up at one in the morning and wouldn’t go back to sleep until two and then got back up at three and came to my room. I never let him sleep with me anymore until after seven. But he does take a sippy to bed. But he thinks I have to come in his room to hand it to him and set by his bed (not touching him) until he goes to sleep. What am I doing wrong? I want to get some sleep. I have had enough after three years.Help!!!!Please!!!!
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33 Terri // Oct 21, 2009 at 3:42 pm
hi dianna,
my daughter is now 3 months old and she is starting to go funny at night and starts to stir and winge in her sleep anout 1hour be for she wakes up for her feeds. we have a bed time routeen - she has her 1 hour quite time be for bathing (and for some reason she dose not like the bath and crys every night when she touches the water) and then has her milk and then gose to bed around 8.30pm every night and wakes up at 2.00, 6.00 and then 8.30am
so my questions for you is
> how can i get my daughter to like bath time
> should she still be on so may night feeds
>when should she be sleeping through the night.
i look forward to hearing from you and your help with my problems.
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34 estera // Oct 21, 2009 at 3:58 pm
hi, i just want to know what should i do now, my baby is 6 mounths and 2 weeks old and i think he is teeting, he cant sleep during the night becouse of tha pain, what should i do to calm him down? and he still wakes up to feed during the night, he dont want to eat solid food just milk, what should i do?
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35 Marie Ashton // Oct 21, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I have a young toddler boy who I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep without props. He is a great sleeper now but unfortunatly I have built a rod for my own back by having almost silence when he is in bed. I am expecting our second child in December when the other is 2 and a half. and I’m dreading the wake ups that will be inevitable. Is there a way to get him used to the noise gradually??
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36 Dara // Oct 21, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Dana,
What should be done with sleep training when you know that your child is teething or sick and is uncomfortable? How much should we “comfort” our children at that time without developing bad sleep habits?
Thank you.
Dara
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37 Rosalia // Oct 21, 2009 at 9:37 pm
My 9 month old is on a sleep routine. However, tonight we did sleep routine however he was not doing his normal playing/talking to himself before he falls asleep, he was quite restless and it turned out he was a bit gassy and finally needed his diaper changed (number 2) after I put him down to sleep.
At this point he is sleepy but awake so my question is: Do I re do the entire sleep routine to get him to bed? all I did was read the last book of three short books about bedtime that I read to signal bedtime… it worked but did I do the right thing?
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38 Renata // Oct 22, 2009 at 7:13 am
Hi, everyone. I have a 2 and a half year old daughter. She has always been hard to put to sleep. But latelly it has become harder. Few months ago I managed to get her to go to sleep in her cot with no help from me. We’d read few books, hav a quick cuddle and snuggle and than I’d put her into her cot, give her a quick stroke through her hair and leave. That was in a 3 month period when her dad hasn’t been around. And than all on sudden he decided he wants full weekends with her, not just a day. After that first weekend, she is back to where she was a year ago. I have to rock her to sleep. If I try to put her into her cot when she is half asleep, she will start kicking and screaming. Couple of nights I tried just putting her into her cot and trying to pet her or hold her hand or anything instead of rocking her. One night I managed to put her to sleep like that, but than she kept on waking up and eventually I had to pick her up. With the screaming, I worry about what the nighbours must think. Please help.
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39 Rosalia // Oct 22, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Hi again! My 9 month old son! I am on mat leave and I dont want to wake my husband so when my baby wakes up at night I will go in and nurse him. I am also nursing him because during the day I dont think he gets enough milk because he gets so distracted every time I breast feed him. At night he really is focused on breast feeding and takes quite a bit in…anyway I try to make sure he is awake when I put him back in the crib like the sleep sense program says. sometimes he is sometimes well he isnt and I am so tired so I leave it.
Last night he woke 3 x and this morning he only had a 30 min nap, he is now awoken from an almost 3 hour nap. My question is should I wake him after 2 hours of afternoon napping or should I just let him catch up on his sleep? I am also trying to wean him onto a bottle with formula and it was working for a little while and now he is no longer taking the bottle …. do you think this is connected? HELP!
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40 sarbi // Oct 22, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Hi, I have two kids. the second one is two months old. and at night time he get every half hour average. And I dont know what to do. And it is very hard to let him cry. He crys a-lot if dont give him milk, i tried once. I just do not know what to do.
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41 Sarah Jane // Oct 22, 2009 at 10:53 pm
My son is 6months old now and he is still not sleeping through the night. And during the day he only takes 20 minute naps. He wakes up 4-5 times during the night at all different times and will only go back to sleep if i breastfeed him back to sleep. He is on solids and i no he is getting enough food and drink through the day, he has a bath at 6.30-7.00 and is in bed at 7.30-8 so why is he still waking? i dont no what to do im so tiered.
Thanks
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42 vaness // Oct 22, 2009 at 10:57 pm
My almost-two-year-old daughter sleeps in her own bed. I leave her door open, so that I can hear her sooner if she wakes. When she does, she usually doesn’t cry, but comes to us. We bring her back to her bed, and she usually lays there quietly, but comes back out after 10 minutes. It’s rare that she goes back to sleep for the night. If we’re too tired to keep bringing her back, we’ll pull her into our bed but she doesn’t sleep. She just tosses and turns for over an hour. I think this is what’s happening when we put her back into her bed too. Why is she doing this? I don’t think it’s wanting attention, cause she’s not getting it. I think she just can’t sleep. There are nights that she doesn’t wake up at all too. Do I close her door and let her start crying till she figures it out? Any Advice?
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43 Angela // Oct 23, 2009 at 11:41 am
I did exactly what you told me to get him off the bottle at night and now he doesn’t wake up at all for a bottle of milk. He goes to sleep at 8 and wakes up at about 7:30 with no problem. He know only drinks milk out of a cup. My son just turned 2 last week and is doing great at night. Thank you for your great advice!
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Reply by Adriana:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:52 am
My 22 month daughter goes to sleep at 8:30 with no problem she takes water when going to sleep and through the first few hour, but get’s up around 12 and cries until we get her into our bed, then she is happy for another 2 hrs until she asks for milk (she doesn’t use bottles anymore) and she won’t stop crying until she gets her milk. Still then she would wake up another 1 or 2 times looking for the milk.
Which problem should I solve first and HOW???
Thank you for your help with this…
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44 Belinda // Oct 24, 2009 at 4:45 am
My child is 2 yo. We got rid of his dummy about 2 months ago and now he relies on his mum to go to sleep. I must “sit” with him. For some reason in the last 2 weeks, he has now started to wake every hour or so at night calling out for mum. I only need to go, fix his blankets and he goes back to sleep. How can I get him to sleep through the night? He is in a bed so I cannot leave him to cry as he simply climbs out of bed. thanks
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45 Fiona // Oct 24, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Hi Dana,
My 9mth old boy is still not sleeping throu the night. The routine is great. He goes to sleep on his own, but he is still waking during the night at which time he may need a change and feed, then back in his cot when he will resettle himself again. what am I missing, do you have any suggestions.
Thanks Fiona
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46 leah // Oct 25, 2009 at 10:03 am
how can i stop my 15 week old baby feeding at 12 am and 4am?????????
many thanks
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47 gemma byron // Oct 25, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Hi Dana thanks for taking the time to read this. I am a first time mom and have a daughter that is 9 months old. I have been very lucky as she sleeps through most nights and has done since she was 5 months old apart from she stirs at 11:00pm every night.
Sometimes we have had to go up to her and just pat her saying sleepy time now and she does go back to sleep after a little cry. Is there something we are doing wrong in her bedtime routine or is it part of her sleep pattern? I feel for her as when she does wake you can tell she wants to just go back to sleep. Your website has been a god send with other sleep queries we have had but can find nothing on this. Thanks and take care
Gem
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48 Natasha Aicken // Oct 25, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Hi,
My son Riley is almost 6 1/2 months old and he co sleeps with us at night and I nurse him to sleep. We have decided to get Riley into his cot and when he finally goes to sleep he will wake again after 40mins and I end up feeding him again to get him to sleep,can you suggest the best way to help Riley sleep longer after he first goes down?
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49 katarzyna // Oct 26, 2009 at 6:31 am
If my daughter is almost 4 months old and sleep 10-11 hours at night let say from 19 to 4 o’clock, does it mean that she should go back sleep at 4 o’clock as it would be more than 11 hours?
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50 efi // Nov 18, 2009 at 8:11 am
my daughter is 3 months old and she sleeps during the day on the lap of my mother (I work) and at night on my breast around 9-9.30. but the last days she wakes at 5, while she wasn’t doing that. she never slept alone , as she had a surgery when she was 40 days old (spina bifida). what can i do to make sleep more and alone?
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