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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question comes from Britney, and she writes:
“Our one-year-old started sleeping through the night at 11 months in her own crib. But during the day, she refuses to nap in her crib. Normally, she sleeps in my arms in the rocking chair for about an hour. How come she can go down great at night but fights her crib so hard during the day?”
Typically, naps can be more challenging that nights. There’s always much more protest at naptime than nighttime and it can take a few weeks for good habits to become established. The good news is that if she can do it at night those skills will eventually transfer to the daytime, but it can be a long process.
It’s probably not ideal for either of them that she’s napping in mom’s arms for that hour or so, and chances are that happens at least twice a day every day. That can be frustrating and time consuming for everyone involved. Ultimately if mom goes back to work or wants to spend a few days at grandma’s house, the baby will need to be comfortable enough to go down for naps on her own. We’d like grandma, a sitter or anyone to be able to put her down for a nap without a traumatic scene every time.
Since what she’s doing at night is working well, let’s recreate that routine as close as we can. Consider starting out by getting the baby in her jammies for the nap. Jammies are sort of a signal to a child that it’s time for sleep and are usually much more comfortable than what they’re wearing during the day. They can help settle them down and get them nice and comfy.
We’re recreating the nighttime bedtime routine and her jammies are signaling that “it’s sleepy time,” so let’s put her down in the crib. Make sure the room is nice and dark. A dark room can help stimulate sleep to occur and then keep them napping long enough.
Not knowing exactly what this mom did at night to get the baby sleeping in her own crib, I’d suggest the “stay-in-the-room” method at nap time as well. For the first couple of days you’re going to stay right next to the crib patting her on the back, gently touching her, laying her back down if you need to and repeating “its sleepy time.”
We want to give it a good solid try at this stage and by “solid try” I mean a good hour and ten minutes of waiting her out until she falls asleep. We don’t want the baby to think that by crying she can get out of the nap. You really want her to know that this is non-negotiable, that it is nap time and that this is really something that is going to happen.
As the days go on, you’ll slowly start to back your way out of the room. Move the chair back about five feet or so every three days until you’re eventually out of the room. The baby will become comfortable enough to go to sleep on her own and she’ll realize that although she may not prefer to take a nap in her crib, that it is something that is going to happen in her day.
What if you have a really bad “nap” day? You’ve tried for the hour and ten minutes and nothing is working; she just won’t fall asleep for a nap. Take a little break. Give the baby a snack to take her mind off of it for a bit then try again. If after thirty minutes she’s still not napping, you could offer either a ride in the car or in the stroller. When all else fails, those are two good alternatives to the crib at naptime that might make her sleepy.
What you don’t want to do is rock her in your arms until she falls asleep. A one year old will figure out within a day or two that if she continues crying, she’ll be taken out of the crib. We don’t want to teach her that you’ll eventually rock her in your arms if she cries long enough. And of course you certainly don’t want to yell or holler at the crib. That just upsets both of you even more.
Commit to two weeks of really giving this strategy your best efforts. At the end of the two weeks, you should see that progress is being made and that naps have started to come around; that your baby will indeed sleep well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
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76 responses so far ↓
1 Andrea // Oct 27, 2009 at 9:39 am
What are good times to put my babies down for the night. I have a 5 month old that I put down about 7-7:15 and is sleeping until 7-7:30. My two yearold goes down between 8:30-9 and sleeps until 7-7:30. Are these good times?
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2 helen // Oct 27, 2009 at 10:48 am
My 22 month old has just got dry during the day and is now crying out at night to go wee wee but the refuses to sleep after - This cant be healthy for either of us - If I am honest I usually wait with her until sher sleeps at night, she did not need touching/patting down just wanted to know someone was there butshe never used to call out for me until morning - Have I created this through my own doing and what do I do to stop it now?? I AM MORE TIRED THAN I WAS WHEN SHE WAS A NEWBORN
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3 Julie Williamson // Oct 27, 2009 at 10:53 am
We recently (for about two months now) have taken my son’s (Connor) pacifier away for good now. We had previously given it to him just for naps and bedtime. Since we have gotten rid of it, he has been fighting naps and bedtime. He will sit in his crib and talk for about a 1/2 hour before his nap but will eventually fall asleep. He does the same thing at bedtime but talks and sings for a longer period (an hour and sometimes a little longer). He whimpers/cries when we initially put him in his crib for nap/bedtime and then it turns to talking/singing. He is two. Is it possible that he is ready to give up napping? And then might fall asleep better at night? I don’t want to give up napping because I am concerned that he will be cranky in the afternoon. Any suggestions/answers would be appreciated. Thanks. Julie
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Reply by Kim Howell:
October 27th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
I have similar issues with my 2.5 yr old, who still has the binky. I attribute her not taking her nap on some days more to what she may have eaten, if she’s had a messy diaper yet for the day, or what we did in the morning- more than she might be ready to give up naps. She often will talk and play in her crib before falling asleep in the afternoon or evening. She isn’t hurting herself, or anything, so I figure she’s at least getting a ‘rest time’. She obviously is tired when she doesn’t take a nap, but I also do not know how to make her go to sleep. I am also dreading taking away the binky.
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4 Jessica // Oct 27, 2009 at 10:53 am
My child is 7 months old. He is large and growing well, but has had digestive issues all his life…they think it is allergies but can’t figure out to what and we are still seeing specialists about it. When he was younger, this would cause extreme discomfort and sometimes pain that wouldn’t allow him to sleep and we would have to comfort him all night. Because of this, he wakes suddenly with a piercing cry still and is ONLY calmed by mom either holding him and rocking or nursing. This happens every 45mins to 1.5 hours throughout the night every night although we suspect that now it is by habit and not extreme discomfort like when he was younger. We can’t let him cry while we comfort him in the crib and do the back away slowly method either because we have a toddler who will wake up with all the noise (small house). Help!!!! 7 months without sleeping more than 2 hours consecutively is REALLY draining!
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Reply by Anne:
October 27th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I just wanted to extend my sympathy (not that it’s very helpful) but I feel your pain…it feels as though you may go crazy! I also nurse my baby (well he just turned one today!) I too had this problem before he started sleeping through the night and I was nursing him every time I heard a peep. To me it was what I was supposed to be doing…I made him a doctor appt and told him about the every 45 min to 1 hr wake up. He checked all the things he should…teeth, ears, etc. and then asked me how I was getting him back to sleep. I told him I was nursing him. And he ever so politely told me that it was OK emotionally and nutritionally to do this but then said “you know, he doesn’t actually NEED the night feedings any more” and he is about that age where he could be dreaming himself awake and just needs to learn to get himself back to sleep and that I could let him cry for 5 min or however long I was comfy with. Well, I desperately needed some consistent sleep so my husband “ordered” me to sleep downstairs for a few nights and he took those night shifts…guess what he now sleeps from about 9:00 pm until I have to wake him at 5:30 am (weekends he sleeps a little longer) Any way not sure if this matches your situation but here’s wishing (and praying) you get some much needed sleep!
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Reply by Marie:
October 28th, 2009 at 11:58 am
I have similar problems here. Any information might help.
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5 julie wassall // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:08 am
My 21 month old son has for at least the last year been sleeping through the night from 8pm until 7am however over the last few weeks he has started to wake up at 5.15 then doesn’t really go back to sleep properly and we get up at around 6.00. His bed time is a little later around 8.30 and I would like to bring this earlier but am finding it difficult. He has a good 2 hour nap just after lunch. The waking up early is making him grumpy as he isn’t getting enough sleep. I can work on bringing the bed time earlier which I hope will make him sleep later. I wondered if teething could be causing him to wake up earlier? Julie
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6 Jill Dierick // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:10 am
My son is 5 months old and I would like to teach him how to fall asleep on his own (self sooth) when he turns 6 months. The problem is that I still swaddle him to get him to sleep. Should I teach to self sooth and then wean him from swaddling or the other way around? He has been an incredibly challenging baby sleep wise right from the beginning so needless to say I’m stressed about doing either of those things! So which one should I do first, stop swaddling or self soothing?
Help!!! Thanks.
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7 Brandi // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:18 am
My son will get into different routines on different nights during the night time. We may have 4 or 5 good nights where he only gets up once to take a bottle and then for some reason he’ll go 3 or 4 nights where he gets up 2 to 3 times, not necessarily to take a bottle but he’s ready to play. We go through the same routine each night with a bottle, bath and storytime but it seems that we can’t stay on a good routine. Thanks, Brandi
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8 Colleen // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:19 am
Hi Dana
I love your clips, they have been very helpful. My question is how do I get my 5.5 month old daughter to take longer naps? My concern is that her cat naps may not be acceptable when she goes to childcare. I can put her in her crib and she may fuss briefly and then go to sleep, but she seems to only stay asleep for a half hour to 45 minutes. Now she does wake up quite happy and there have been times when I have just left her to play (15-30 mins) or until she gets really fussy. Also, she seems ready for another nap within 1.5 to 2 hours. Is the length of her nap time acceptable? Do I need to be too concerned about the length or frequency?
Thank you!
Colleen
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Reply by leanne:
October 27th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
hi i would really like to know if you get your daughter to sleep longer at naps as my daughter is 5 months and goes to sleep on her own but only for half hour and goes back down 2 hours later
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Reply by Amanda:
November 1st, 2009 at 8:49 pm
My 5 month old does the same thing. He used to be a great napper during the day, but now he wakes after 45 minutes (on the dot) I go in and pat him back to sleep and get another 45 minutes out of him (at least) but he is consistently waking at the 45 minute mark - not sure if he is getting used to me going in and patting him back to sleep, but am not sure what else to do??
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9 Coni // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:30 am
My 13month old son Kyren is easy to get to sleep with some rocking and one last bottle but, wakes up all night and is hard to get back down. He usually ends up in bed with my husband and I. He does the same for nap time. I am trying to get him in his crib in my other (2year old) daughter room. Help we need sleep!
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10 Taryn // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:30 am
Since my daughter was 7 months we’ve had a very strict bedtime routine. Bath, milk, books, rocking, singing, bed. Now she is 22 months old and she still protests her nap and bedtime every day. She knows the routine well, she even helps, but once we get her close to her crib she screams! And just recently her attitude has gotten worse, she throws things out of her crib and she stomps. What are we doing wrong? Why hasnt she adjusted yet?
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11 michelle sherba // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:34 am
My daughter is turning 1 and still wakes at night every 3-4 hrs. By saying night night and go to sleep she lays back down but wakes every 10 minutes crying until I feed her. I am also having difficulty getting her to eat solids.
I’m afraid because she doesn’t eat enough during the day, she is waking at night hungry.
What should I do?
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Reply by annette c:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
My baby is one too and we are having the exact same issues……
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12 Alana Beck // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:37 am
My two year old will not use the potty to move her bowels. She was successfully potty trained at 2 years and 2 days and since then (she is now 27 months) she says it is sore and holds on for as long as she can before using the potty, usually along with much tears from both of us. I am a single mum and am at my wits end on how to handle this, I work 4 days a week and Shannon will only go when she is with me. The Doctor prescribed Movicol but doesn’t seem to be doing the trick, please help as by about the 4th day of not going Shannon is tired, irratable and cranky and I really am at my wits end and feeling extremely anxious
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13 Amy // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:41 am
My son is 12 months old. I still nurse him. He wakes at least 4 times a night and only goes back to sleep by nursing. When will he sleep thru the night?
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14 Tamsin // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:55 am
Hi,
My 4 month old will not nap for longer than 45 mins at a time and fights being put down to sleep. I watch him for tired signals and always take him to his sleep zone after and hour and a half for some wind down time.
I play the same music, put him in his sleeping bag, have a blankie for him so he should know it is sleep time.
However even if he is really tired I have to rock him to make him sleepy , but when I put him in the crib he just screams. As I try and put him in sleepy but awake. I then pat him and try not to pick him up , but he goes into hysterical mode pretty quickly so its hard to leave him crying for long. I end up picking him up and rocking him again.. this can go on for hours… rocking, putting him down, he cries, patting, picking up.. he just doesn’t seem to be getting it!!
Eventually I give up and have to take him for a walk in the sling so that he sleeps..sometimes by this stage he has been awake for 3 hours or so.. not with lack of trying to get him to sleep.
He goes to sleep well at 7pm, but I think this may be because he has just eaten and is so tired from the day. As he isn’t napping well he wakes up a few times in the night. But goes back to sleep well when I put the dummy in or feed him. I am having to feed him twice in the night as he is an early riser too.. at 3am and then at 6am. Lately he is waking even earlier.. at 2am, so I have had to feed him at 5am. He is surely old enough not to need 2 feeds in the night? He weighs 8 kgs already so is a big boy. do you think he needs solids already perhaps? He is breastfed currently.
I am going insane as he doesn’t have a long nap ever in the day, there is only so much you can do in 45 mins! He is obviously not linking his 45 min cycles as he cant put himself to sleep.
Please help
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Reply by wendy:
October 28th, 2009 at 8:22 am
Hi, my 6 month old is exactly the same. You can set your watch by her waking exactly 30 minutes after she has been put down. This means that I can’t get anything done in the home because i only get a half hour window and she ends up going down (if she does go!) up to 4 or 5 times a day.
She’s now also waking at 3am and again at 6 and needs to be soothed back to sleep.
I have tried all of the techniques i can find on the net to try and make her sleep longer but they don’t work…I too am at the end of my tether…PLease help us Dana! xx
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15 rebeccah // Oct 27, 2009 at 12:04 pm
my daughter is 14 months. for the past month she has been waking up extra early in the morning (5:15). We try to wait until at least 6 to get her but she is usually crying by 5:30 or 5:45. She will then take her morning nap at 7:30 for about an hour and a half to two hours. Then she will sometimes take a second nap at around 12:30 - sometimes she fights it and stays up. She has a bedtime of 6:45.
There are two problems. Is it possible that she fights the second nap because she is transitioning out of the nap? If so then this connects to the second problem. He only nap cant be at 7:30 AM but because she wakes up too early she would be exhausted if we pushed off her nap.
We have tried changing her bedtime in both directions. Making it early did help with getting her down for two naps but it did not seem to effect her wake up time.
She wakes up unhappy - no babbling in the crib or anything.
How do we help her get more sleep.
She goes to sleep on her own although sometimes she falls asleep while nursing and misses her bedtime store (even when i put her to sleep as early as 6:15)
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16 Rhonda Dalley // Oct 27, 2009 at 12:29 pm
My 2 year old won’t sleep through the night. He only sleeps about 9 1/2 hours at night which I can live with. The problem is that whille he goes to sleep fine without any props or rocking etc he always wakes up crying at around 2:00AM and then again at 5:30 AM like clockwork. I go to him at 2:30 and tell him its still sleepytime and he goes right back to sleep within a minute. If I don’t go in though his crying escalates. At 5:30AM I bring him to my bed and I can maybe get another hour sleep. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks Rhonda
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Reply by hilary:
October 27th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
this sounds exactly the same as my 21month old son. i have ran out of new things to try. he will go bk to sleep easily at 2o’clock but come 5 he wont go back with coming in our bed or having some milk!
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Reply by Rhonda Dalley:
October 27th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I meant to say he wakes up around 2AM and I go right into him then. I don’t wait until 2:30AM. That was a typo.
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Reply by Natalie:
October 30th, 2009 at 2:57 am
My daughter is 15 months old and I have the same issue. She goes to sleep anytime between 6 30-7 00. No problems there but wakes around 1 30 but will go straight back to sleep if I go in and stroke her hair (just 10 seconds will do) but then she is up with the birds just after 5am. Arrggg…I have no ideas.If I take her to my bed she thinks its play time so dont go there any more and just do the 15 minutes and go in and shush her….zI do thos till 6 30 when its time to get up….by then she is grumpy and fed up.
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17 kimberley // Oct 27, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Hi I have a 4month old boy and would like to put him in his cot at bedtime (happy) with no dummy, bottle or mum!!! and to sleep all night.
I find that needs 2 be with me to go 2 sleep with dummy or bottle. I cant put him down awake in his cot, if im lucky he will lie there with dummy or bottle and eventully he will drift of, but never happens without one of the 3 (me, dummy, bottle)
he will wake up threw the night and it will start all over again. please help. kimberley
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Reply by Laura:
October 27th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Ditching the dummy is the best way. We did exactly the same with our little girl at around 3 months old. We had 3 really bad nights of her waking up, but we went in every 10 minutes until she settled back down. She sleeps well now but does wake up early though. hope this helps x
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18 john durso // Oct 27, 2009 at 1:02 pm
hi dana my son johnmichael is 2 now and he wont take naps anymore we just bought him his first toddler bed is that normal at his age or did i buy him the toddler bed too early.all he wants to do is play.also during the night he likes to climb our daughter bed and play all hours of the night while she sleeping.then he gets himself so tired by not taking naps he has tantrums all day when he doesn,t get his way.please help me.
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19 Filitsa // Oct 27, 2009 at 1:17 pm
My 23 month old wakes up at least once during the night. One of us has to go in her room and tell her that she needs to go back to sleep. This usually works if it’s early in the night. If she wakes up after 2 am it is very difficult to get her to go back to sleep. We have to go in her room several times before she goes back down. She will wake up at around 4 and won’t go back to sleep. She will cry until we take her out of her crib and out of her room. One of us ends up taking her downstairs and watching tv so the other can sleep. She falls asleep on the couch for a half hour or so and then is up for the rest of the day until her nap. How can we get her to 1)fall back asleep on her own when she wakes up at night and 2)get her to sleep later in the morning.
Thanks!
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20 Karen Serna // Oct 27, 2009 at 1:47 pm
My son, John is 7 months now and is a great sleeper because of your program. Thank you! However, this Saturday the time will change, and I am concerned about how that will affect things. Please help me know how to make this transition.
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21 Kay // Oct 27, 2009 at 3:00 pm
My husband works the night shift, and needs to sleep late in the morning, my son is a great sleeper thanks to your program and i am having another bundle of joy in a few months. I was wondering if it is ok to adjust their schedule to ours? can they go to sleep at 9 or 10 at night if they don’t wake up till 9- 10 the next morning?
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22 Melita Sager // Oct 27, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Help! My son is 7 months old, and we just moved him to his own room. He will only sleep 20-40 minutes at a time, and wakes everytime he loses his pacifier. I am exhausted and can’t see myself doing this forever. Any advice?
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Reply by Laura:
October 27th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
My 9 month old has taken to only having 1 hour of sleep a day (either 1 hr or 2 x 30 minute sleeps). She goes to bed fine at 7pm, (pj’s, milk, cuddle etc) but she wakes up anytime between 5-6am, she doesn’t want milk or breakfast (i’ve tried that) and she will not go back to sleep, how can I get her to sleep a bit longer in the morning?
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23 Stacey Paul // Oct 27, 2009 at 4:14 pm
My 18month old is going through the transition of cot to bed. She thinks it’s a bit of a game everytime she gets out of bed that I come in and put her back in. This can go on for nearly an hour before I give up and end up staying in the room with my hand on her back until she falls asleep. I’ve pulled all her toys out of her room so there is nothing to play with but she still gets out of bed. She was really good at naps, (putting herself to sleep etc) now the only way for her to go to sleep is with my hand on her back. How do I get her to stay in her bed and fall asleep by herself?
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24 Adele Fisk // Oct 27, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Hi there,
We have had some progress with my 2 year old thanks to your program Dana she will now go back to her bed and settle herself without me in the room. I just have one last problem in that she comes into our room two times a night to check on us and have a cuddle. How do I encourage her to stay in her bed for the whole night? She sleeps in the same room as her brother for company.
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25 Nicole // Oct 27, 2009 at 4:29 pm
My younger son is almost 1 year. Since he came home, he has always slept in our room. The idea was that we didn’t want him to wake our older son (already not the best sleeper) who is 2 1/2 now. He started in our bed, but we moved him to a crib in our room eventually. However, he does wake often in the night or very early in the am and the only way to get him back to sleep is to bring him to our bed. We’ve tried the make him wait 10 min, 15 min, 20 min routine, but he continues to stand up in the crip and cry/scream unless we’re holding him or bring him to the bed. How do I stop this? Obviously I want to move him out of our room eventually, but I’m afraid to put him and our other son in the same room for fear neither one of them will get any sleep and then I won’t either.
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26 Candace // Oct 27, 2009 at 4:32 pm
My Grand-son is almost one and he still wakes up every 2 or 3 hours during the night. My daughter has even tried to let him cry it out, but the little guy never gives up, he is still crying a hour later, she has tried everything. Most of the time she can give him a bottle and he goes back to sleep. He goes to bed at 8:00 p.m. no problem, but is awake within two hours for a bottle and is wanting to get up at 5:30 a.m. What’s going on with our little guy, he has always been a speedy guy since birth, he doesn’t seem to require much sleep and is always on the go. We have tried a routine but the problem is getting him to stay asleep during the night.
My daughter works and she is so sleep deprived……….Please help.
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27 Cherie Schultz // Oct 27, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I don’t know what to do!!!! I have two little girls, 7 and 4, who are scared to sleep in their room. My oldest won’t sleep on her bunk bed because she’s scared, so she sleeps with her little sister on the bottom bunk. I don’t think they sleep good that way because a twin bed for the two of them seems to be a tight squeeze, so they wake up during the night and crawl into my bed to sleep with my husband and I. We are all sleepless!!! I tried having them sleep on the floor on a sleeping bag when they crawl in our bed, but they end up right back in bed with us! I have read a book before that mentioned to put them right back into their beds every time they come to our bed, however, I don’t always wake up when they crawl in bed with us, do you think this is really the solution though? I thought about getting a full size bed for them to share but we can’t afford it right now, can I actually get my oldest to sleep in her bunk again, I don’t want to terrify her. She used to cry herself asleep for at least an hour because she was so scared.
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Reply by Tanya:
October 29th, 2009 at 2:32 am
My son went through a phase of night terrors and being afraid of the night. We made a bit of a story out of slaying the dragons with a magic potion (water in a spray bottle that santa had given us) and spraying around the room. Then left the bottle in his reach at night. This seemed to work and only occasionally do we have to do this now - he is 51/2yrs now.
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Reply by Cherie Schultz:
October 29th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Thank you so much for your reply, I will try this method, I think it would make bed time a little more fun! I wish there was a story book to read to them that relates to this method so they can have a broader imagination and they’re not just hearing how this solution would work from their “mom.” I know this could work on my 4 year old, I wonder how it would work on my 7 year old…Thank you so much for your idea, I’ll let you know the outcome!!!
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28 Vicki // Oct 27, 2009 at 5:00 pm
My little girl is just over 11 months and has slept pretty well from about 5 months old. However in the past few weeks she is waking 6 or more times a night really crying. My husband or I go in and soothe her without getting her out of her cot and then leave the room slowly only for her to then either immediately cry louder or about 10 minutes later start again. She naps fine during the day and has always been put into her cot awake so knows how to fall asleep herself. I know this is a key time for teething but wow its tiring!
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29 Jennifer Beckey // Oct 27, 2009 at 5:05 pm
My almost 14-month old son is still breastfed at bedtime but not to the point that he’s sleeping. I do it until he’s groggy then lay him down and shhh/pat him to sleep. I like the closeness that breast feeding provides both of us and since he’s transitioned to whole milk when he was 1, I weaned him completely except for before bedtime. Is this an acceptable practice for now and when I’m ready to stop this…probably in the next few weeks, what is the best approach? I’m scared he will feel like I’m abandoning him. I’m certain this feeling is probably more of a fear that I have versus how he will truly feel. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Jen
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30 Laura // Oct 27, 2009 at 5:13 pm
My 9 month old is having 1 hour of sleep during the day (either 1 hr or 2 x 30 minutes sleeps). She goes to bed with no problems at around 7pm (bath, pj’s, milk, etc) but she wakes up anytime between 5-6am. It makes no difference what time you put her to bed. How can I get her to sleep for longer in the mornings?
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31 Lauren // Oct 27, 2009 at 5:52 pm
My 8-month-old has always been a pretty good sleeper, doing 11 to 11.5 hours at night. She usually wakes around 6am (give or take 15 minutes), gets fed, then goes back to sleep for another 1.5 hours or so. I have heard that this “nap” could in fact be the tail end of her night time sleep becoming separated and I would like to join it back on! Is this likely to be the case? What can I do? If I leave her to it, she usually flips onto her front and becomes distressed as she hasn’t worked out how to flip back. If I go in, she becomes excited and/or even more distressed and wants to be fed.
(I realise this is a minor issue compared to some of your other readers, but it’s a really tricky one for me!)
Thanks!
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32 Molly // Oct 27, 2009 at 7:06 pm
My 10 month old wakes up too early. We have no trouble with naps or going to bed alone, but he wants to get up and start the day at 5:30am.
He takes a morning nap and a late afternoon nap during the day, sometime between 7 and 8 pm he gets really grumpy and tired so we put him to sleep. He definitely can not stay awake later as friends have suggested, he just gets grumpier and grumpier.
How can I help him to sleep in longer in the mornings?
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33 Karla // Oct 27, 2009 at 7:49 pm
My 6 month old has never been the best napper. I have no problem getting him down for a nap, sometimes he cries for a few minutes but he always falls asleep sometimes with no fussing at all if I get him down at the exact right moment. He almost always wakes after 40 minutes and cannot get himself back to sleep. If I go in the room to try and soothe him back to sleep, there is no way he’ll go back to sleep. I’ve tries rubbing his belly, singing rocking but he will not go back to sleep. He goes to sleep at 7 pm, always without a fuss. He usually sleeps through the night and wakes around 6 am. I can normally leave him until 7am in his crib. His first nap is between 830-900 and is always only 40 mins. I try and let him cry for a few minutes to see if he can get him back to sleep but he never does. Second nap happens around 1130. Again after 40 mins, he wakes. This is the only nap that I can sometimes seem to get him to cry a bit and go back to sleep for another hour. Next nap is often around 330 and is 40 minutes. He cannot get himself back to sleep after this. How can I get him to nap longer without him having to cry himself back to sleep after 40 minutes every time?
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34 Julianne // Oct 27, 2009 at 8:34 pm
My daughter who will be 2 in less than a week is a special case. My husband and I both work nights and she adjusted to our sleep schedule very early. While it was nice that she would sleep in past 12pm for us. I’m afraid that it is not healthy for her. She averages 10 hrs a night plus a possible nap. Now for the past 2 weeks we have been in this rut with her. She will fall asleep by 10pm then like clock work she wakes up 2 hours later and is totally wired bouncing off the walls until at times 7 in the morning. One time it was 8am. Then I have to get her up by 2:30 to get her ready for the day and go to grandparents. last night we tried having her be in the back room and stayed in there with her and wouldn’t let her go out of the room. I had to hold her in bed to calm her down, then read to her for over 20 minutes. She at least fell asleep by 5am. I hear that she should be falling asleep by 8pm. However, my husband and I cannot get into bed till after 2am. So my question is since my daughter doesn’t have to get up in the morning to go to daycare or school is it okay for her to sleep in past 10 am or should she go to sleep by 8pm and wake up around 8am. Thank-you for your help and suggestions.
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35 sophia // Oct 27, 2009 at 8:50 pm
My three month old daughter does not sleep from the hours 7pm- 12am. She is fed and bathed before 7-730 depending on when she eats and i put her down in the crib and she only sleeps for twenty minutes. When i put her back to sleep she constantly spits out the pacifier and cries. This happens everynight until about 10-11 oclock she decides she is tired. What can i do?
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36 nicole coller // Oct 27, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Well my son is 13 months old…and you are absolutely right, he will cry in the crib i mean before i even lay him down for a nap…hes already crying. luckily its just a tired cry, sometimes its a horrifying cry. (i feel so bad) but if i go for a car ride he will sleep for an hour or sometimes longer. when i lay him in the crib, he wakes up at exactly 20 mins, or 30 mins…not much longer, and wakes up crying and yawning because he is still tired. ive left him in there a little bit to see if he would fall back asleep but nope. although i shouldnt be complaining becuase he knows his bedtime is 8 pm, he will sleep til 8am. 12 hours every night. i jsut need some help with the nap times.
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37 mary // Oct 27, 2009 at 10:21 pm
my 4 months old son wakes up constantly during the night, and when i say constantly i mean every hour or so for a bottle is this normal and how can i get him to sleep through the night? please reply asap because i dread going to sleep knowing that i’ll be up so much!
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38 vaness // Oct 27, 2009 at 10:30 pm
I’m wondering if there are reasons why kids wake up in full blown crying - no fussing first. My 4 month old is doing this alot, generally after about 15-30 minutes of sleeping, for naps or bedtime. Then it takes quite a while to calm him down, and generally after that he doesn’t want to sleep anymore. It’s frustrating. He’s breastfed and does have problems with digesting dairy/soy products when I eat them, but I’m watching my diet strictly, so I don’t think that this is what could be bothering him - especially since it generally happens after that 15-30 minute mark. Help?
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39 dahlia // Oct 27, 2009 at 11:23 pm
my baby wakes up throughout the night. Sometimes she makes a little noise or fussing two hours after falling asleep and then she will wake up around 3:30 screaming and crying - which is 6 hours after initially falling asleep. She will wake up screaming and crying again at 6:00. This is much better than what I was going through before I got her to sleep in her crib. We were co-sleeping but I didn’t get any sleep. now she is in the crib but I would like her to sleep for 9 to ten hours is this possible for a one year old?
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40 Arati // Oct 28, 2009 at 12:10 am
Aditi, my 17 month old baby refuses to sleep alone in her crib. She insists on sleeping with me by her side & also needs me to pat her to sleep. She wakes up in the middle of the night and demands that i pat her back to sleep. How I get her to sleep alone in the crib?
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41 marine // Oct 28, 2009 at 12:33 am
Hi Dana, my doughter Lorena is 2.5 years old and she is a pretty good sleeper. Me and my husband go on vacation every year and leave her in the care of my parents. I was wondering how can i teach her to maintain her sleep routine even when she stays with them in their house. I other words, how can I get her to learn to nap and sleep overnight in hteir house without interupting her sleep routine that she is used too? thanks
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42 rikki // Oct 28, 2009 at 12:45 am
hi my child is 17 months and co sleeps with me and he still insists on having breatfeed before bed i am currently slowly trying to get him to go to sleep during the day without breat, some days he does but there is a short crying session, while this is occuring i am in the room with him……i have found that at night he has his bath, brushes his teeth and says to me ni ni which then he lies down and expects me to breast feed him until he falls asleep. he carries on hysterically until he is exhausted if he does not get his way….please help
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43 cami // Oct 28, 2009 at 7:52 am
my baby won’t sleep without nursing and without the noise of the hair dryier.she is 8 months and she wake up 3-4 times per night for feeding.how can i help her to sleep better and without nursing? thank you so much!
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44 vicky tyers // Oct 28, 2009 at 10:02 am
Hi
Our son dylan is now 15 months old and has been sleeping through the night since 5 months. Usually put to bed at 6.30-7pm and wakes around 7am. Occasionally we hear cry for a few minutes during the night but he soon goes back to sleep by himself. For the last 2 weeks Dylan has been waking at around 10.30-11.00pm screaming standing in his cot and wants to play. He stops crying immediately when the light goes on (it has a dimmer) and either myself or my husband enter the room. He remains quiet for the period of time we are in the room but the minute we leave starts to scream. The screaming can last up to 2 hours and we have been entering the room every 5 to 10 minutes. Please help
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45 Rani // Oct 28, 2009 at 10:47 am
I have a 5 and half months old son, he has now learnt to sleep without feed when I put him in his cot to sleep at night.But in the middle of night he wouldn’t go to sleep by himself. He wakes up four to five times during the night for nursing. Last night, I tried not to give him the breast and instead tried to put him off to sleep by patting him,walking with him and doing everything I could.But he went on crying for 1.5 hours when I gave up finally and nursed him and he went of to sleep. Again he woke up after an hour and the same story was repeated.
Please help
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46 Anna Beaver // Oct 28, 2009 at 1:12 pm
My child is 11 months, i have been giving him a bottle of water every time he wakes up in the night instead of milk. I have been trying this for over a wk now and he still gets up atleast 3 times. Do i need to take the water away and just let him cry?
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47 Katie Nealy // Oct 28, 2009 at 4:32 pm
My son is 23 months old, every day at nap time and every night at bed time we have to continuously tell him to quit playing with his toys and get back into his bed. We have to do this for about an hour to an hour and half every time we lay him down. How do we get him to get in his bed and not get back out of it to play?
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48 rachael mtowa // Oct 29, 2009 at 8:01 am
hie
i am still breastfeeding and
my baby does not go to bed until 1am in the morning,she will be playing making noise even if we try ignore her,switching off the lights she still continues playing on her on,we still sleeping with her,what should i do to stop this.
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49 Natalie Brookins // Oct 29, 2009 at 4:15 pm
My 4yr old will go down in his own bed but always ends up in our room on the sleeping bag at some point during the night. This is an improvement, he used to be in our bed. I now also have a second child who is 9mo old and we were happy to just get the 4yr out of our bed but now we need him to sleep in his room ……..all night! He states that he is scared, etc. He has a night light. He knows his little brother is in his own room. Why does he keep coming to our room. I know this is a behavior that we have brought upon ourselves. I just want to fix it. He starts school next fall and I know he needs better rest.
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50 Dana Obleman // Oct 29, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Hi Natalie,
Thanks for your message. How is he used to falling asleep initially at bedtime?
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51 Dana Obleman // Oct 29, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Hi Rachael,
A consistent bedtime routine that you follow carefully every night will help cue her body that it is time to sleep and prevent her from becoming over-tired. When children get over-tired, this tends to show itself as hyperactivity when in fact they are very sleepy. Hope that helps a bit!
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52 kerry // Oct 29, 2009 at 7:08 pm
my 6month old daughter used to be a good sleeper but lately she gets resless for her dummy in the night she used to suck her thumb in the night if her dummy fell out but now she suddenly stopped stucking her thumb and moans in her sleep for her dummy and goe s straight back to sleep once i put her dummy in, and also around 5am she’l wake up and start laughing and doing baby talk for about 30mins- a hour then wil go bk to sleep til 8am .. is there any tips on gettin her to sleep without her dummy and not to wake up 5am?
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53 Audrey // Oct 29, 2009 at 9:09 pm
My daughter is almost two and is ATTACHED to her pacifier! I never wanted to use paci’s and I’m not even sure how we started! She just started using them about 10 months ago… I would really like to take them away but it seems impossible for her to fall asleep at night without them. She just screams and cries for what seems like forever but the second I give her a paci she’ll go right to sleep. I have heard “just let her cry she’ll eventually go to sleep” but you can only let your child cry for so long…Any suggestions on how to wean her off, or teach her to fall alseep without the help of a pacifier?
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54 Ashley // Oct 30, 2009 at 2:05 pm
My 11-month old son wakes up several times a night and will only go back to sleep if he is nursed. How do i get him to fall back to sleep without nursing him?
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55 stacie mcneill // Oct 31, 2009 at 12:58 am
Dana ,Our daughter is 22months old she naps during the day but only for about 30minutes to an hour my question is at night we put her down at about 8:00 then she’ll wake up about 12:00then go back to sleep then she’ll wake up again at 2:00 she’ll go back to sleep and i’ll have to wake her up to carry our 11year old to school so please help!!!!!!!
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56 Tifanee Gold // Nov 1, 2009 at 12:22 am
Hi
My child is 21/2 months old and he takes really bad naps. He usually will take one 2 hour nap and then take 2-3 half hour to 45 min naps. I feel like he should be taking more naps and longer ones. What can I do
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57 Melissa // Nov 2, 2009 at 1:04 pm
My 7 month old will nap a couple times during the day (varying nap time and nap lengths). The problem is that I can’t put him in his crib and have him fall asleep on his own. I watch for all the signals telling me he is ready for a nap - rubbing eyes, yawning etc . I hold him to settle him down for a few minutes and he relaxes and often starts to close his eyes… but, once I try to transfer him to his crib (sleepy yet not asleep) he either rolls over to sit up or starts crying. If I walk out and leave him, he’ll either continue to cry or just sit and play in his crib. I don’t understand why he seems so tired for a nap, but when I put him down he simply won’t sleep. Any suggestions for getting him to have a nap without having to rock, hold and keep laying him down (when he just sits himself back up)? I feel like we spend so much time throughout the day just trying to start a nap. What does work like a charm is the old car ride! Thanks, M
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58 Dana Obleman // Nov 2, 2009 at 9:25 pm
That’s a very common issue! You want to look at how your child falls asleep (even after a night waking). If they are accustomed to being patted, rocked or nursed to sleep, they will wake expecting it and seemingly be unable to settle without. The key is to ensure that they learn the skills they need to fall asleep on their own so that if they wake, they can resettle without your help. Implementing the methods from The Sleep Sense program will enable them to do so and for everyone to be better rested. Hope that helps a little!
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59 Dana Obleman // Nov 2, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Hi Anna,
If he believes that he needs a bottle in order to fall asleep after these wakings, that would be a good idea! Removing external sleep crutches allows them to learn to use their own skills to fall back to sleep.
Thanks!
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60 Heather // Nov 3, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Hi Dana,
I was wondering when the best time to start sleep training is. I have an almost 2 year that sleeps well and also a 2.5 month old, both girls. She is exclusively breastfed so I don’t think she should go the entire night yet without a feeding or two right? Sometimes she does two, but I think she is starting or in a growth spurt because last night it was four times. When does morning officially start for feedings typically? Sorry, I guess that is a couple of questions. Thanks, Heather
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61 Sherri Brouwer // Nov 7, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Hi Dana,
I have a 3 month old who is going to be well for the evenings and is getting about 5.5 hours sleep before a feeding and then sleeps for another 3 hours, feeds again and then goes down for another 2 hours before a wake-up somewhere around 8am. All of these he is going down awake. Currently naps are a challenge, we sometimes get a sleep in the crib in the mornings but afternoons seem to allude us. We try to get him down in the afternoon for a while but so far have only been able to get him down for 40 minutes total. When we are at our wits end with the stay by the crib method we put him in a kangaroo sling which he will sleep easily 2-3 hours in. Are we creating a different crutch? How do we get our newborn in the right direction with naps?
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62 Adriana // Nov 10, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Hello Danna,
We are going to travel out of the country the next month, actually we are moving out, so the first couple weeks we are staying at my families house, so I-m very concern about mu baby sleep habits. She is 16 months old, she has great sleeping habits, she is used to 2 naps, one in the morning which last almost 2 hours, and another one during the evening which is about an hour or more. Then at bedtime she perfectly goes to sleep at 8 an wakes up until 8 am. So, I dont want this to change, what can I do to make this process (new home, new people, new noises) as easy as possible. As I said, we will be staying at my sister’s house for two weeks or so, she has kids, and I’m afraid i wont be able to keep them quiet during my babys nap, and then at night we will have to share room with my baby…help me please!
And thank so much for all your valuables advices.
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