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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from Amy. She writes:
“I’ve been sleep training my nine-month-old for two weeks with wonderful results. The problem is that he’s now waking up too early… What can I do?”
I get that question a lot! The funny thing is that any parent in that situation probably would have given anything to sleep more than 5 hours in a row a few months ago, but once they get a taste of it, the next thing I usually hear about is how to get him sleeping past 5:00 a.m.? I don’t think morning starts until at least 6:00 am, so any earlier, even if it’s 5:59, is still not an acceptable, good way to start your day for most families.
Amy, the good news is that this will most likely fade. It’s really common in the first couple of weeks. To a nine-month-old who has had very fragmented sleep for most of his life and now has started sleeping 10 hours a night, he’s probably waking up around 5:00am feeling pretty good. He might think “I’ve had a really good, solid night of sleep and I’m ready to get up now.”
The thing is, if you did get him up at 5:00am, he’s unlikely to have very good stamina so he will probably be tired half an hour later. That really can mess with your schedule for napping and it’s just not good to get up at 5:00am. While a baby is reorganizing his sleep and learning how to consolidate nighttime sleep, they’ll often start waking too early and that will fade with time. Their body will realize it’s good but it’s not enough, and they’ll sleep that extra hour or to really finish off their night.
To speed it along you can choose not to get them up any time before 6:00am which is what I suggest people use as their minimum wake up time. If he’s awake at 5:00am, go in fairly quickly, rather than waiting for five or 10 minutes like other night wakings. I find that if you go in for those early morning wake ups fairly quickly, you will have a better chance of convincing him that it’s still nighttime and that he needs to go back to sleep. Do so quietly, by laying him down, giving him back his blanket, tucking him back in and then give him some pats or strokes for a minute or two telling him it’s still sleepy-time.
Just stay for a few minutes and then leave again. If he goes back to sleep, great! If he doesn’t, you’ll just need to keep going in every 10 minutes and reminding him it’s still night time until at least 6:00am. rolls around. If he’s not back to sleep by that time, then enough might be enough so you would go in and say good morning, turn on the lights and start your day.
Another thing to think about as we’re approaching summer is that the sun starts coming up a lot earlier and it does wreak havoc with everyone’s nighttime sleep. You’ve probably even found yourself waking earlier than you need to. The sun does stimulate us to start waking up and it will definitely do that for your baby.
Work hard in these summer months to make sure your child’s room is dark enough. And I mean dark; try to make it so that hardly any morning sunshine is peeking through whether it’s through using blackout blinds from hardware stores or just hanging a dark blanket. Do whatever you need to do to keep the morning sun out and you’ll probably find that buys you at least an extra hour. Work hard to encourage him to sleep a little later, at least until 6:00am and that should solve your problem.
Thanks for your question Amy. Sleep Well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
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42 responses so far ↓
1 Natasha Drury // Jun 23, 2009 at 9:17 am
My 8 week old baby wakes only once in the night for a feed but will not settle back to sleep after for at least 2- 3 hours or not at all. She will take a feed during the day and settle straight away though? Help!
2 stephanie ogg // Jun 23, 2009 at 10:17 am
I need help getting my daughter to sleep through the night. I usually have to lay in her bed until she falls asleep, which usually only takes 10 minutes. She will than sleep any where from 12 - 2 a.m. and wake up and want in my bed. How can I get her out of this habbit.
3 Tina // Jun 23, 2009 at 10:34 am
My 15 week old has a very sporadic sleeping pattern. He normally is down for nighttime between 9-9:30pm every evening. Sometimes he’ll sleep until 6am, sometimes until 7am, sometimes until 8am and sometimes only until 4am. We have the same evening routine each night. Any suggestions on how to have a more consistent sleep pattern?
4 Maddie // Jun 23, 2009 at 10:53 am
My 18 month old has been waking up at 5am 5 nights out of 7 for the past six months screaming - help! 2 nights out of 7 she wakes at 6am or later. She sleeps through the night, has black out blinds and naps once at lunchtime no problems. Not sure what to do.
5 Annie Flanagan // Jun 23, 2009 at 10:59 am
My son is 20 months, he keeps wakening at the same time every night. Between 1 and 2 in the morning. He just cries and cries and eventually drifts off after about an hour. This has been going on for nearly 3 weeks. I would like to add that he has just started to sleep better, he use to waken up every couple of hours, all through the night. Please help
6 Cindy // Jun 23, 2009 at 11:07 am
My 15 month old goes to sleep on his own every night at 7 pm with no problem. Every night between 9:30 and 10:30 he will wake up hysterical crying, he will cry for a few minutes then go right back. Sometimes he will wake up another time before midnight and do the same. After midnight he seems to sleep through the night without any wake ups. What is causing this early evening wake ups? and what should I do about it? I haven’t been going to him but is there something waking him that I could prevent?
Thanks
7 Viccie // Jun 23, 2009 at 11:07 am
My 5 months baby is in a pretty good sleep routine - naps 3 times a day and then we put her down at 7, though she can take between 40 - mins to 2 hours to settle, once asleep she generally sleeps through to between 6 and 7. We also wake her for a sleepy feed around 10ish. So I have been pretty lucky, but also worked hard to get this routine. However I am shortly going to the other side of the world and am a bit worried about how jet lag will affect her - there is an 11 hour time difference and we are going for 3 weeks. I am also breast feeding - I would be grateful if you have any recommendations for how to deal with this to try to get her into routine in the new time zone as quickly as possible. Thanks
8 Clare // Jun 23, 2009 at 11:45 am
This was us - and I hate to say it, it took about 6 weeks to have our little guy consistently make it until 6 am. Part of it was that we were still nursing once between 4 and 6 am. We eventually just had to leave him alone if he woke before 6 because the visit in the room made it worse. It did eventually pass.
9 Lauren // Jun 23, 2009 at 12:09 pm
My daughter Emma is having a very hard time falling asleep at a reasonable hour. She is three and a half and it takes her anywhere from 1 to 2 hours to fall asleep at night. Last night it was past midnight. I would blame it on the late nap she had but even if she has an early nap, we can seldom get her to sleep before 11pm. And she is up to start her day between 6:30 and 7:30am. When she doesn’t nap at school, she comes home and can’t make it past 4pm before she crashes. But we can’t guarantee the nap at school either. Our nighttime routine has not changed, we read a few books then lights out with some soothing music but she lays there with her eyes wide open and can’t get herself to fall asleep. I’ve tried winding her down earlier thinking she’s overtired but it just involves reading more stories and more trips to the bathroom and anything else she can distract me with. Please help us.
10 Tricia Fordham // Jun 23, 2009 at 12:52 pm
My 2 year old Alex is now not sleeping at all (well thats how it feels) he wakes at 6am and dad will put him down for a nap with his 1 year old sister and they will both sleep for about 1-2 hours from 11am to 1pm then Alex will not go to sleep again till abuot 10.30-11pm but from about 7 he whines and cries constantly so I know he is tired but our previous routine does not work he wants to be up with us down stairs and screams till he gets his way which wakes his sister in the next room, when he does finally go to sleep on the sofa we put him to bed then he is awake again about 2am and will not sleep until he is in bed with me, a few weeks ago he was sleeping for 8pm to 6am every night. Do I need to cut out his nap?
11 Fatma // Jun 23, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I have been trying to teach my 5-month old baby sleeping on her own for 20 days. She is very well now in sleeping on her own (at about 8 pm), I stay with her until she sleeps. However, in the last three days, she wakes up at 9 pm and cries about an hour and I cannot help calming her. I could not understand the reason. I am breastfeeding and she still wakes to be fed 3 times from 8 pm until 7 am in the morning. How can I stop night feedings? Thanks
12 Bonnie // Jun 23, 2009 at 2:40 pm
My daughter is almost 32 months and has been in her toddler bed for several months now. Before we switched her to her new bed, I was having to rub her back until she fell asleep otherwise she would crawl out of the crib and come out of her room. (Reason being why we made her crib into the toddler bed.) I am still having to sit next to her bed and rub her back until she falls asleep. This can be anywhere from 5-30 minutes. We do read books with a lamp on for a few minutes before we turn out the light. How can I turn off the lamp and walk out without her chasing after me?
13 Larine Gerber // Jun 23, 2009 at 3:06 pm
My 3 month old baby goes to bed at 7 and falls asleep with not too much trouble. Problem is, she thinks it is nap time as she wakes up 19h30 and doesn’t settle before 20h/20h30ish (with a lot of crying). How can I get her to sleep through that 19h30 mark? She sleeps well during the night, waking up once for a feed around 3 or 4 am and goes straight back to sleep. She naps 40 mins in the morning, around 2 hours over lunch time and 30 min afternoon.
14 Merian // Jun 23, 2009 at 4:02 pm
My 25 month old is about to be a big sister, she’s been having a hard time to go to sleepy time, no matter what, she keeps screaming, yelling and fighting nap and bed time at night. I don’t think she’s ready to give up naps since every time she has a good nap she’s a happy girl and an obnoxious miserable one when she doesn’t. It’s really hard to see her going through the same over and over again because she acts the same every single day…what’s a good advice in this case? tnx
15 Falia // Jun 23, 2009 at 5:18 pm
My 15 month old just to have a really good sleeping pattern (9:00pm-7:00am) but we recently move and since then he wakes up every night between 2-3 am. I can not let him cry because we live in an apartment now so I have to go to the rescue, after I hold him for about 5-10 min he is back a sleep again, he wakes between 5-6 for a feed and is back to sleep until 9:00 am. I have try staying with him without taking him from his crib but then it takes around an hour for him to go back to sleep. I don’t know what to do.
16 Shachar // Jun 23, 2009 at 5:46 pm
our 5-months daughter have been sleeping 10 hours straight for quite a while now. the problem is that when i put her down (around 6:30pm or 7pm) she fusses & whines or cries for a good hour, half hour if we’re lucky. i stay with her until she falls asleep deeply. we’ve been having real challenge getting her to nap beyond her morning nap (normally 1.5-2 hours, sometimes longer). she cries & fusses then too. she might catnap for 30 minutes once or twice, but most days not at all. i keep putting her down though, hoping that it will eventually stick.
is there anything else i can do to help her with naps? help her so she doesn’t cry before sleep? thanks!
17 alla // Jun 23, 2009 at 8:00 pm
my son is 8 months and started to sleep on his own at five months. he has a routine and goes down by 9pm most nights. he wakes up every 2-3 hrs to eat (breastfeed). how do i get him to sleep at least till 6am without him waking up at night,is it to early to pull the feeding? he cries and cries and doesnt stop until i come in and feed him. he also likes to nap every two hrs. help please!
18 Marianna Wester // Jun 23, 2009 at 9:34 pm
My baby girl Julianna is 9 months old. She goes down for her naps without assistance at 10am and 3pm which last 1.5 hours. She has been sleeping well during the night since she was 4-5 months old, going to bed at 8pm, waking at 6am for a bottle, and back to sleep until 7:30am. Her night-time routine is simple: we read a few books, take a bottle, and lay down in her crib where she quickly falls asleep without assistance. Over the past 1-2 weeks she has the exact same daytime and bedtime routine, but instead of her falling asleep quickly at 8pm, she will play in her crib 1-2 hours before falling asleep. I know she is tired by her signals. If I pick her up to try to walk/rock her asleep she begins to fuss/cry/scream for about 5-15 minutes before falling asleep. Is there anything I can do to get her to fall asleep quickly after placing her in her bed at 8pm like before?
Please help!
M. Wester
19 jennifer // Jun 23, 2009 at 11:16 pm
my 5 month old does not sleep through the night… He has been getting up around 1-2am every night crying and rubbing his eyes for about 10 minutes. I have to pick him up and make him fall asleep. Then he’s up again at 5am…i’m up for work at 6:30am
..I dont know what to do please help
20 Mel // Jun 24, 2009 at 12:57 am
My 3.5 month old self settles and up until 10 days ago, was only waking once at about 1am for a feed and then sleeping through until 7am. Just recently she has been going to sleep at 7pm, waking at 9:30pm, 12:30pm, 4pm and up at 7am. Nothing else has changed with her daily routine (2-3 sleeps/naps during the day). I am getting up and breastfeeding her when she wakes and she goes back to sleep very quickly. Should I keep getting up to feed her or try and let her cry for a bit to see if she is really hungry? Thanks
21 Donna // Jun 24, 2009 at 1:06 am
I have a 6 month old baby who has a bottle at least half an hour before she goes to bed between 7 and 7.30pm. She goes to bed awake, with a dummy and falls alseep most times on her own, sometimes after putting the dummy back in a few times. During the night she randomly wakes about every 3 -5 hours and wants a feed to get back to sleep, sometimes the dummy is enough, sometimes, she really wants a feed. Sometimes I just leave her to cry for about 5 - 10 minutes. If I do that for about 3 -4 nights it gets better, but I still give her a bottle at about 2am and 5am after she cries for longer. She shares a room with her sister who goes to school so most week nights I get up quickly when she crys to put the dummy in before her sister wakes. Some nights I may get up 7-8 times, some may only be 3 times for the dummy and one feed. I know the dummy must go, just scared what will happend if she then wants to just feed all night. Help:) I give her an 11pm feed too:) She wakes between 7.30am and 8am.
22 Geraldine // Jun 24, 2009 at 9:24 am
My six month old son loves to fall asleep listening to the stereo with us holding him. He is usually asleep after a bottle within 5 mins of doing this at 8pm. However he then wakes every 3 hours in the night for feeds until he wakes at 9 in the morning. He always goes straight back down from each feed but I am exhausted from not sleeping since he has been born. I’ve started trying to leave him in his cot of his chair in the day to fall asleep on his own but he will scream for hours (3 hours last night) and refuse to give in. Please someone help me!!!
23 Marsha // Jun 24, 2009 at 11:56 am
Could you please resend to me the blog page on nightime tantrums and what to do. I didn’t get a chance to read it well and would like to reread the great advice you gave.
Thanks, Marsha
24 Nadia // Jun 24, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I have just started potty training my 20 month old. I have used the sleep sense program from when he was 8 months and it works great, but he occasionally still wakes in the night, not for more than 5 minutes usually (and I VERY rarely need to go in to settle him). My concern is that when he is ready to go to no diaper at night, I am going to have to go in there right away if he cries to see if he needs to go to the bathroom or if he peed; do you have any tips for me so that he will keep up his good sleeping and not take advantage of me running in there right away?
P.S. He is still in a crib
25 ANA // Jun 24, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Iris is 23 months and goes to bed around 7:45, she sleeps in her crib in the same room as her parents, the problem is she goes to sleep with a sippy cup and I give her cold water.Around 6:30 I start giving her water but she keeps waking up around 2 or 3 in the morning..sometimes twice in the night, she wants something to drink. Either there still will be water in the cup she wants it cold or its empty, she cries. I’ve tried to let her cry and tell her night night but alot of times doesnt work. I do give her a snack before bedtime.. Please Help…
26 Lubna // Jun 24, 2009 at 4:45 pm
I am almost convinced at investing in the Sleep Sense Program but before I do I have an important question. It is regarding the amount of crying that my son will go through.
He is almost 6 months old. His routine at the moment is a bath and then bottle of formula and he falls asleep on his own - but he wakes up 3-4 hours later and then isn’t able to sleep on his own and will just cry if we leave him in his cot. I have tried leaving him to cry and checking on him now and again but I find it really difficult as even if I am standing beside the cot trying to settle him without picking him up he cries so much I end up giving in.. and if I don’t give in my husband does! He is still feeding through the night too so when we eventually get him to sleep after the 3-4 hours he will wake up later for a feed and then will go to sleep in his cot on his own. It seems that he is only currently able to get him to sleep on his own when he has had a feed.
27 Nancy Sparkes // Jun 24, 2009 at 5:35 pm
I have two school age children aswell as my 5 month old who sleeps in the room next to them. How do I sleep train him without disturbing their sleep… he DOES wake them often.
28 Lorraine // Jun 24, 2009 at 10:19 pm
My daughter is a twin with a brother sleeping in the same room. My twins are pretty good with sleeping. My daughter however, occasionally wakes at various times in the night and has difficulty getting back to sleep unless I give her her pacifier for a little while then I take it out. She goes down between 7:30p and 8pm with out the pacifier. I would like to have her totally off of it. Should I make it a gradual thing and just go in there 5- 10 15 min like I did in the begining to get her to get herself back to sleep. Thanks
29 Jennifer // Jun 25, 2009 at 2:08 am
My 13 month old Ava was not going to sleep on her own at all until I purchased your book online.. Now we have got the bed time routine down no problems.. The odd time she cries for upto 10 minutes. My problem is that at nap time I cannot put her in her crib at ALL. The only way she will sleep is on me. I have tried both of your strategies and it just isn’t working.. When I just leave her to cry she will cry for 1 hr 30 min, but when I do the other method, she will sometimes fall asleep for upto 15 minutes. Please help me with her nap time
30 juleen Tjauw // Jun 25, 2009 at 3:38 am
my 3 month old gets very windy (not colic) at night time. We endeavour to have a bed time routine with a bath, feed and bed, but this is always disrupted by having to comfort him, so he falls asleep in our arms. My concern is how can I teach him to self soothe, as any crying may be due to wind.
31 Stephanie // Jun 25, 2009 at 10:51 am
My 5 month old sleeps all the way through the night, from 8 pm to 7 am, which is great. But she won’t take naps during the day. I try to create a routine at the same times during the day, but she just won’t settle down and I end up letting her cry in her crib. She just isn’t getting it. What can I do?
32 Pat // Jun 25, 2009 at 11:07 am
I’ve been sleep training and weaning breastfeeding (at the same time) my eleven months old for 1 week. I put him to sleep in his crib usually around 6:30 p.m. but he fights, cries, fusses, and screams excessively for hours until he finally falls to sleep around 8:30 to 9:00 p.m,, but I have to stay with him until he falls to sleep and put my hand on him occasionally to assure him. He also cries, screams, and fusses at a nap time. But I don’t want to stay with him and put my hand on him too often because I don’t want him to depend on them. Another problem is that he wakes up every morning before 6 a.m. with a dirty diaper, so his total sleep time is less than 12 hours. Then, he is tired half an hour later after he woke up. Another thing is that he shares a room with us, so every little noise wakes him up especially when my husband has to get up early to go to work. I’ve tried lovies, blankets, pacifiers but none of them worked because he wants mommy’s breasts. What else can I do to help him stop crying before he sleeps and at nap times and not becomes dependence on me?
33 sharon kincaid-clark // Jun 25, 2009 at 4:00 pm
What can I use to help my daughter self soothe herself other than a pacifier or her thumb/fingers. She is not using either at this time and I like that since I will not have to break her of this habit but she needs something to help herself at night.
34 Andy Galbraith // Jun 25, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Hi There
I think my wife has emailed you but since I put our Daughter Elise to bed I wanted to ask a question or 2. Elise is 2 yrs and 4 months old. At night when I put her to sleep I read a book or 2 and she goes of to sleep, however if she is still awake when I finish reading and I leave, she will start crying and won’t stop until I go back in and read until she falls asleep. How can I get her to learn to go off to sleep by herself?
Secondly she has been waking up around 2am and then not going back to sleep by herself, she calls out for us and then cries when we don’t come. I have to go in a settle her. How can we stop this from happening?
Reagrds
Andy
35 Julie // Jun 26, 2009 at 12:52 am
My 6 month old has never slept for more than a half an hour at a time during the day but he does this every 2 hours. He also fights to stay up late or wakes hourly till 11pm or later when I try to put him down for bedtime at 8pm. He wants to start the day again between 4am and 5am. Can I change this? Even if he doesn’t soothe easily, and doesn’t have a lovey. Please Help!!
36 larise // Jun 26, 2009 at 8:58 pm
My 21 month old and I sleepshare and I have no problem with this as I believe he’ll leave my bed when he’s ready, at around age 3, but I struggle to get him down (he screams and cries even though he’s really tired) and wakes frequently during the night and battles to settle again even though he’s tired. Do I have to get him into his own bed before trying your sleeptraining method?
37 Kim // Jun 26, 2009 at 11:32 pm
HELP!! I started sleep training my 8 month old for naps at the end of May. He started off sleeping 45-75 minutes per nap. Now, it’s late June and he’s only sleeping 30 minutes per nap. The problem is that he’s still tired and cranky when he wakes up. I’ve tried leaving him in his crib longer, I just don’t know how long to leave him?? He’s also requiring at least 3-4 naps a day. He just can’t last 3-4 hours between naps, because he’s so tired from not sleeping long enough the nap before. I really need to get this problem solved before I go back to teaching in August. : )
38 Inoka // Jun 28, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Hi Dana, my 6 week year old does not sleep during the day unless I hold her, if I dont, she cries and wont settle, but obviously I cant spend my whole day holding her, and i’m worried that the bad habits will start. Just after breast feeding, I burp her well, but at this point she becomes more alert, this is where the problem starts… so I’ve tried to make sure the bedroom is dark, tried a soother, tried a baby bouncer, tried the warm bath, soothing music, even a play mat to distract her, but nothing sends this child to sleep during the day. Plus in addition to this, her witching hour is 7p.m, she cries like mad during this time for no reason everyday, and it’s hard work to settle her down. But at night, (after 8/9p.m), she sleeps for 3 hours at a time, and my methods are the same as the daytime which I cant understand ??? What else can I do ? With sincere thanks, Inoka.
39 Danijela // Jun 28, 2009 at 11:04 pm
My 15 week old baby son is sucking his hands & falls asleep. Is this a bad habit I should break?
40 Shannon Alfaro // Jun 29, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I was a stay at home mom for 2 years and now I have been thrown back in to the working mom world. My husband has started going back to school, which on the days that I have to work and he has school the kids go to daycare. My littlest (22 mths) is having such a hard time with this and is terrified of me leaving him. He freaks out when I pull into the parking lot. He cries for me all day and is not really consolable. What can I do to help him with this hard time. Even when he doesn’t go to daycare and I go to work and he stays home with his dad he asks for me all day. Please help me.
41 Kim // Jun 29, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Hello,
My daughter is 4 1/2 months old and I have gotten in the bad habit of letting her sleep in her swing. We do not leave it swinging! She usually goes to sleep on her own in the swing at 7pm and usually wakes at 1 and 5 for a feeding and goes right back to sleep. I have tried to put her in the crib for her morning nap, but she only sleeps 15-20 minutes. She makes up for it by taking 3 hrs naps in the afternoon. It has been over a week and I am afraid this lose of sleep will interfer with her sleeping at night. How do I get her to sleep in her crib without ruining the sleep she is doing now?
Thank you!
42 Caron Monk // Jul 1, 2009 at 10:17 am
My son Sebastian is 22 months old. He has gone through cycles of good and bad sleeping. Right now he falls into the early riser category. He is awake between 5am and 5.30am every day! I had just started the training to get him to sleep without me in the room by leaving & returning at scheduled intervals. This has led to him discovering how to climb out of his crib & run after me!!! Now, in the morning, he wakes early and before where I could leave him, he now toddles into our room having escaped. How can I keep him in his room and crib? I don’t want injuries so am thinking of removing the side of the crib but that only gives him more freedom.
Thank you! Your advice is always brilliant.
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