Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question comes from Wendy. She writes:
“My 19-month-old keeps taking off her diaper in her crib. Is this a sign that she might be ready to potty train?”
I like this question because it’s a bit different than the usual, and I thought this would be a good chance for me to talk about a few things that are common but aren’t necessarily as popular as some of the other questions we get. One of them is taking off your diaper. That’s actually quite common; you’d be a bit surprised to hear all the babies that try this strategy of taking off their diaper or throwing out their toy. I’ve even had several clients report that their child does a bit of head-banging—rocking the head back and forth and hitting the bar—and they have some concern as to why he’s doing that and what it means.
As far as taking off the diaper, I would consider it more attention seeking than any kind of sign that she’s ready to potty train. I don’t think you’d have much luck trying to potty train a 19-month-old. It’s a little on the early side. I would guess that she’s just exploring her environment and what she can do with herself while she’s in her crib. I can remember my sons going through this around this age. I’d put them down for their nap, and they would be in there for half an hour to 45 minutes, singing and walking around in their cribs and playing with their lovey and just amusing themselves more than anything. Eventually, they’d get tired of that and finally take their naps. I would find that these phases would last two or three weeks and then they’d go away, and then maybe a few months later they would come back again.
You just have to be really cautious how you handle any of these little things that come up. When she’s taking off her diaper, my guess is, somebody comes in, has a chat with her about how she shouldn’t take off her diaper and that you don’t want her to do that anymore, and you leave. And she thinks, “That was kind of exciting. Look at all the attention I got.” So off comes the diaper again, and you come in and tell the story all over again, and on and on and on it goes. It’s similar with throwing out the toy: “I’ve thrown out my toy. I’d like you to come back and get it. You’ll then tell me why I shouldn’t do that and not to do it again, and I get lots of attention, and so I keep playing.”
The best thing to do when you have that kind of an issue is to try to minimize the attention it gets as best you can. Obviously, you wouldn’t leave a diaper off a 19-month-old, because that’s going to cause some problems. I’ve even had lots of clients whose toddlers just take off jammies. They don’t take off their diaper, but they’re in there without any jammies on.
So what are some ways you can prevent it? Sometimes it’s just as simple as taking some more secure tape and taping over the little release straps that are on diapers—duct tape works well—just to prevent that from happening. Then there’s no attention being had because the child can’t get her diaper off. If you don’t want to do that, then you would just go in. You won’t make eye contact, you won’t talk about it. You would just walk right over to the crib, you would fix her diaper, you would leave the room. Or you would walk in, not make eye contact, not talk, take the toy off the floor, and toss it back into the crib. It’s a very boring game, and it didn’t get any kind of response from you. You weren’t even making eye contact. So that game stops pretty quickly because it’s just so boring.
That’s the best way to handle those sorts of problems. The head-banging issue—again, it’s not as uncommon as you would think, and it’s not really anything you need to worry too much about. A lot of children do it as a calming strategy, and it just helps them get to the place they need to get to in order to fall asleep. My youngest rolls her head back and forth. But not gently—she rolls her head quite vigorously back and forth, and she’s done it ever since she was a baby. She’s doing it less and less these days. She’s four years old now, and she does it less, but I still catch her doing it on occasion when I check on her. So, it is most likely just part of their calming strategy. I always think that a child’s not going to do anything intentionally that causes lots of pain, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that either, even if your child is hitting the bar. If you’re really concerned, you could put a buffer there of some kind so there’s a bit of padding. But otherwise, it’s just a phase, and your child will eventually outgrow that. Don’t worry too much.
Thanks for the interesting question, Wendy. Sleep well!
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To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
My two year old daughter is essentially pee-pee trained. Very few accidents anymore. The problem is poop. She has gone on the potty once and was very excited. She hates having messy underpants so she changed her time of day that she goes. She now will talk about going poop when we get her in her night time diaper and so we take her out of crib sit her on potty while she reads or talks – the problem is she doesn’t go and now it is 10 at night – three hours past bedtime. If she doesn’t go, we put her in her diaper (only for nap and night time) and she insists that she has to go. Here we go again. Finally we don’t go get her anymore – she rips of clothes and diapers and poops in her bed. What do we do? HELP PLEASE! How long should we stay up with her not going? HELP HELP HELP!
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whoah this blog is wonderful i love reading your posts. Keep up the great work! You know, many people are hunting around for this information, you can help them greatly.
my baby is turning four years old and wearing panty is just at night we have a problem cause she pee in her bed , do you thimk that i must consider taking her to the doctor or is it a miner problem.
i have a pretty lengthy response to a similar question above that might help :)
Hi Dana,
I have had amazing success with your sleepsense program and was wondering if you had any advice, input, any strategies about potty training. I am on my 3rd stint with my daughter that is 25 months old. I started at about 21 months with the goal to have her potty trained by her 2 year birthday but she got sick shortly after starting and so I haulted the PT until she got better since I heard to avoid PTing during stressful times for your child but still was consistant about keeping her in pull-ups rather than diapers again. I started back up about 3 weeks later to continue the cycle, staying very positive, we decorated her potty, she picked out her big girl panties, sticker rewards were given with every milestone big or small. Out of the blue, she started resisting the bathroom. Everytime I asked her, “Do you need to go potty?”, she’d run and hide. I didn’t want to make it tramatic for her and was surprised by her sudden reaction(s) so after consistently trying once an hour (with the open door policy where we would also go potty with her) and seeing that she was in protest for 3 days straight, I again, decided maybe she wasn’t ready. Now it’s been a good month since then and I am ready to try again. She is strarting to tell me, “Mama, poopoo” but after the fact. The fact she is recognizing her action(s), I thought, what a perfect time to try again. Do you have any tips or a program like your sleep sense program for Potty Training? HELP!
My 23 mo. old son has quit taking naps. I know he still needs the sleep, but now that he can climb out of the crib, all he wants to do is play. He is a very energetic boy, and we usually get a good 12-hr. night sleep without much problem going to bed. I have been very consistent about our naptime routine for the past 2 weeks. 1:00 every day after lunch with milk and a story (I used to wait until later, but his naps were getting much too late in the day). Last week I stayed in the room and physically made him lay down each time he got up to climb out or jump on the mattress. But now it’s a game. I don’t make eye contact, I don’t talk to him, I don’t give back his lovies when he chucks them out. He isn’t very verbal yet, so that is hard. He does ask me to leave the room after awhile, but it is just so he can go back to climbing or jumping. It may be just a phase, but I want to deal with it appropriately and reinforce that I get him out of his crib so that when we go to a bed in 6 months to a year, we won’t have him wandering into our room. Do you have any suggestions?
My son is 4 and a half and wears a pull up to bed, even though he has been fully potty trained (during the day at during nap) since he was two. He is a heavy sleeper and just doesn’t wake up until his pull up leaks in his bed. Even when I limit liquids right before bed, he still fills his pullup and often leaks. He wants to wear underwear to bed and I certainly don’t want to discourage that but I hesitate to do anything that will disrupt his (and my) sleep, or cause him to feel bad if he’s just not able to do it. Then again, I’m changing sheets almost every night anyway. And even when his bed is dry, it often smells like a diaper! Many people feel that it is a developmental issue that parents should not push, yet children in the UK are sleeping without pullups at a much younger age. I’m interested in your opinion on this.
I know it has been quite some time since you posted this- but I have two very different boys and may be able to provide some insight- my oldest had a really hard time with night-time potty training and was in pull ups for bedtime until he was just about 4 and a half–at which point we started keeping a written chart for him to track the mornings he woke up dry- what we actually wound up doing was going in and waking him once a night to go pee for a week or so- and eventually he kind of got the hang of waking up on his own to go- it was also a point to make sure he not only limited liquids before bed but completely emptied his bladder before bed- I would not say your child is having any abnormal issues- I just think every child is different- for example, our youngest son is just the opposite and wakes US up when he has to use the potty at night-time and almost always wakes up dry and he is just about to turn 2- so they are worlds different even though we haven’t really done anything different with them (in fact we give the youngest a full cup of milk before bed where we never could do that with our oldest) the best thing I can say is to be patient- I would say if the pull up is leaking it is an inappropriate size and you need one designed for night time- but if he wants to try underwear at night- it may be worth a try- because it might help him sense that he is wet sooner and get him in the habit of getting up and at least finishing going potty IN the potty rather than in the pull up (which tends to wick away the moisture and makes it harder to feel when they are wet until they are saturated)- hopefully this issue has resolved for you by now- but if it hasnt I hope this helps- and if it has i hope it helps someone else along the way :)
Hello Dana,
I’m Dalia …my daughter Renad is 19 months now i’m trying to potty train her….. she sometimes respond and other times she refuses to enter the toilette…….is this normal ?
can you tell me what shall i do to train her and teach her how to tell me if she want to go potty????Thank you
My 26 month old daughter takes one afternoon nap around 1 pm. But for months now she doesn’t really sleep the same amount of time each day during her nap; sometimes it’s 1.5 hours another day it’ll be 2.5-3 hours. (She goes to bed around 7 pm each night and sleeps until about 7 am the next morning. I can usually hear her talking, singing etc. at bedtime, in her crib so she probably doesn’t fall asleep until 7:30 or 8.) Should I be concerned that her naps aren’t consistent? Is there anyway for me to get them to be longer and more consistent?
Thanks,
Sarah Rodenhi
My 11 month old son won’t fall asleep unless he’s holding on to my hair. He has no favorite stuffed animal or any other toy that he can fall asleep with. I tried everything, I even let him cry two times (based on many and many suggestions) but he makes himself vomit. I love my son so I will let him hold my hair everytime he will go to bed. I just don’t know how it’s going to be in the future when he turns two or three……
i have 16months old baby girl. She is still nursing from me. I don’t have enough milk to give her. she isn’ gaining weight because he doesn’t eat much at all. She just waited for my milk. she has teeth and she bits during her sleep. I really would like to have her stop breastfeeding asap. can you help me?
when should my child stop breastfeeding? her teeth are coming out and she would bit me when she sleep while nursing as her soother. I don’t have enough milk to support her and she doesn’t eat at all. all she does is waiting for the breastmilk from me. It’s very frustrating and I need help. she isn’t gaining pound as she should be. I really don’t know how to get her eat more and stop nursing.
Ryder is 4 months old and the ONLY reason he wakes at night is because he is HUNGRY! I believe he is to young for anything but formula.
None of your advice will apply if the baby is hungry during the night. He was 9lbs at birth and is 15lb now. If the only reason he is not sleeping 8 hours a night is hunger I can deal with it til he’s 1 year.
This is my Dr’s advice, any foods before an infant is 12 months, could make for an obese child.
when she wakes up during the night, she will come to our room climb in bed with us and go right bed to sleep with no problem.
WE TRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME AVA FALLING ASLEEP ON HER OWN WHICH SHE DID GREAT BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS HALF ASLEEP FROM THE CAR RIDE HOME. I AM AFRAID IT WONT BE AS EASY AS IT WAS THE FIRST NIGHT. AVA TENDS TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS OTHER THAN JUST CRYING OR FUSSING. HOW DO I GET HER CALMED DOWN? WHEN I GO IN TO CHECK ON HER OR GIVE HER HER PACIFIER SHE WANTS ME TO PICK HER UP SO HOW DO I GET HER TO STOP HER SCREAMING? HELP ME!!!
Since Caelum, 1, was 2 months old, I have nursed him to sleep. I was tired and took the easy way out. Now its been so long that I don’t know how to get out of doing this without letting him cry himself to sleep. I have NEVER let him cry himself to sleep, and refuse to start. I should also mention that we bedshare. He has never slept in his crib and I like it that way. However, I should mention that my son is a very active 1 year old, so if I let him play until he falls asleep, it will take hours and mess up his routine. He is on a routine and has been since 2 months old. What do I do?
My grandson has never been a deep sleeper or great napper. He is four and a half months old and will commonly be awake most of the day except for a few twenty minute cat naps. From the very beginning my daughter in law put him on a three hour feeding schedule just so she could better cope with no sleep.
As a grandmother I wonder why sleep patterns aren’t discussed in the medical community. When I see ALL the material given out to new Mums, there is very little about the education of sleep. Most of the information states that babies will ‘let you know’ when they are sleepy, hungry, etc etc…
I think your approach to training babies to sleep just as to walk, makes so much more sense . Unless new parents talk to other parents or do some research on their own, they are missing out on vital education that could be the difference between them coping and not.
My main concern with Hunter, is that he is at the bottom of the weight and length charts. He was born at 8 lbs 4 oz and now weighs 13 lbs. He seems realtivley happy but when awake he moves around a lot and I suspect he must burn off a lot of calories.
He was unhappy and awake prior to four months, but now he seems to be content and very curious about the world around him.
But, his Mum and Dad need some sleep.
Please help,
PS they are battling thrush again for the second time so have just run the course of a second dose of meds.
Help my 3 month old son Joshua was till a few days ago sleeping through the night but he now wakes up around 3/4 am dose this mean i need to go back to giving him a night feed as i did this last night after trying every thing and he went back to sleep.please say you can help as i do not want to go back to night feeds i thought we had gone past that stage.
fiona
Please help my 3 month old son Joshua has benn sleeping through the night but a few days ago he sarted to get up at 3am and be awake till about 5am.does this mean i need to go back to giving him a night feed.
fiona
My 3 month old son sleeps fairly well. He goes to be between 6 and 7pm (depending on how well he sleeps during the day) and wakes at 7am with usu 2 awakenings at night. During the night he has a feed, I put him in his cot awake and he goes to sleep by himself. Unfortunately, during the day he usually only sleeps for 40-60mins at a time and then cries. I leave him to see if he will settle (which sometimes he does) but other times I need to help him resettle. I can usually pick him up and his eyes shut almost immediately because he is tired. Why is it that he settles well at night but not during the day? Am I doing something wrong?
my baby is 22 months old and is still not sleeping through the night, any suggetions, she takes her dummy to be with her.
Help! My almost 7 month old daughter does not know how to soothe herself. She will literally cry for 2+hrs if I lay her down in her crib for a nap. When is it too much crying…when do I give in? I try comforting her without picking her up and it just makes her more mad. The only way she will sleep is if I rock her and then it is only for 30 minutes because she wakes up and doesn’t know how to fall back asleep. I am at a loss…I have tried cry it out methods…but she just keeps crying. Advise please.
Is it okay to let your baby cry themselves to sleep? If so how long should I let her cry?
My 18 week old son gets around by doing a caterpillar crawl and he does this in his cot at night. This is fine except for the fact that once he gets to the top of the cot he tries to keep going and eventually gets very frustrated and starts to cry. Is there a way of stopping this or is is something he’ll just grow out of once he starts to crawl properly? He used to start doing it from about 4am although now he starts about 1.30am – has a feed and then starts again about 6am. He’ll settle with a dummy in the morning however we’re hoping to wean him off the dummy fairly soon (he only has it at night to send him off but if he goes off without it at the moment he’ll wake up about an hour later crying). We would like to stop using the dummy and leave him to cry it out but we don’t want our older daughter to wake up as well.
Two questions. We have switched my 1 year old over to whole milk. She has never been much of an eater and I am concerned that she isn’t going to get her proper nutrition. She has always favored her formula over solids and I never worried because it provided her nutrition. Now she is on whole milk and if she doesn’t eat I worry. She still wants her bottle..do I keep feeding her milk? My second question is my daughter has always been a 10 hours sleeper. She would awake at 6am and go down for a nap at 10am. Lately she is waking up at 7:15 and now won’t take her reg morning nap. She wants to sleep around 11:15 or so which is interrupts lunch time. Should I hold her off and rearrange all her bottle and lunch feedings to put her down after lunch? I find it hard to adjust myself when I have been used to her schedule for so long. Thank you!
have you tried waking her at 6am, so as to continue fitting in with her old routine? Also, you can get toddler formula, which I assume has more nutrition than regular milk.
i tried your method lastnight and it worked, she pnly woke up once, :) but do you think the jonsens baby wash and baby lotion really works to put the babies to sleep?
My daughter is 9 1/2 months old and is VERY energetic – she never stops moving, climbing, crawling, playing, talking, etc and she has always been busy. Even as a newborn, she was very interactive and loved watching action. She usually sleeps 10-11 hours at night (except when she is teething, she will wake 1-2 times), and we will bring her into our bed around 6:30 am (our choice – it’s the only time she will stay still enough to cuddle) and she will sleep for another 1 – 1 1/2 hours. She naps 2 times a day, totalling 2 – 2 1/2 hours of nap. The problem we are having is getting her to sleep – we literally have to hold her down to get her to stop moving long enough to fall asleep some days. Often, there is no crying or fussing, but we have to lie with her in our bed and keep lying her down, shushing her, and try to get her to stay still until she falls asleep (15-45 minutes), then put her in her crib. If we put her in her crib, she will play for a few minutes, then stand up in her crib and WILL NOT lie down. No amount of comforting will convince her to lie down and rest on her own, only physically holding her down, which is not something we want to do. We would love any advice from anyone who has experienced this and resolved it!
I have the same problem with my 1 year old, who has always been nursed to sleep! He is always moving and if I let him just play until he falls asleep, he will not sleep. I don’t know what to do either! Sorry I am not helpful!
Our little boy has always been very active and we had similar issues earlier on around 10mths. He’d be lovely an calm after his bath/quiet play/story until he was put in his cot, it’d take 45plus mins to settle rocking/patting/sushing. We found that by being in the room with our son we were distracting him. What we did was to do the wind down with him and then take him to his room give him a kisses and cuddles and then pop him in the cot and leave the room. He cried for about 10-15mins for a few nights which was a bit tough but ever since he has self settled with no grizzling – and he is now 20 months. All the best to you both
hi,my daughter is 4 years old.she still do potty in the diaper.she not feel comfortable to sit on the toilet.now she is going to school next month.i am worried that how she will manage in the school.please tell me what should i do.how can i encourage her to do potty in the toilet.she is not wearing diaper all the day.she do pi in the toilet herself,she just wearing diaper when she have to go potty.
Your daughter may feel more comfortable going to an adult toilet if you place a child seat insert into the seat (which makes the hole smaller) and give her a step box on which to rest her feet. It is a better position for them in which to sit for their pelvic floor muscles etc. and does not feel so intimidating to them. You might find that the toilets at school are smaller than adult toilets and she won’t have any troubles. Try talking to her school maybe.
Hi, my son is nearly 6 month old and still wakes in the night usually twice on average every 4 hours for a feed and has about 14oz of milk through out. Is their anything I can do or give my son to help him sleep straight thru? All my friends babys started sleeping right the way thru from about 6 weeks.
Lately, when I try to view your videos, they will not play for me…
Dana, I purchased your sleep sense book yesterday and my husband and I will be starting to train our 3 1/2 yr old daughter on Sunday… Wish us luck and I will post with updates…. We are still deciding between Option A or doing Option B, but we both need to be on the same page before we begin!
Here’s to a more restful sleep in the very near future!
our pediatrician gave us Calma baby (Erba Vita) to give my daughter aged 11 months old, before bedtime so that she can sleep better. The reason he gave us that is because she keeps waking up every half an hour every night! Is that a good medicine? is it safe to give my baby? please answer back soon. thanking you in advance.
please help me get my 3 year old to stay in her bed all night without coming into mum and dads bed EVERYNIGHT!!!!!
Hello! My daughter is almost 2 1/2 , she has been fully potty trained for 3 months and is already in preschool. She doesnt take naps and if she does it backfires & she is very cranky. She also doesnt sleep through the night and probably has only a few times. At night she will only fall asleep on my lap and has always hated going to her room to sleep. Shes had two surgeries and has had tests done for her kidney since birth. I believe that is why she wakes up and has such a hard time but what can I do to help her fall asleep and stay asleep?
My two and a half year old baby has started using the potty but she doesn,t tell me if she wants to use it. She does it by herself n. It kinna worries me. What. Should I do toget her telling me
Dana, yesterday my wife purchased you Sleep Sense book. A quick question. We understand that the baby will cry when we are trying to train him. However, how long should you allow him to cry?
My 8 month old daughter most of the time fights her naps. Sometimes when she rubs her eyes, I put her in her crib, she falls asleep right away. Most of the time, she cries or screams until I cant take it and give her a bottle, or just go get her. Why do they do this? How can I get her to nap every time she is tired and I put her in her crib? I am getting really frusterated
my son sleeps in my bed i have tried to put him in his cot and leave him cry but he doesnt stop
Ali is nearly 3 in Sept and he has been a very good sleeper from 4 months old.
We moved him into a big bed about a month ago and he started off quite well but recently has taken to waking twice a night, he never cries or wants milk, he just comes into our room and I take him back to his bed with no complaints both times. I don’t think he is sleep walking as sometimes he does speak but generally is happy to go back.
He has recently started childcare x3 week as I am working part time so I am not sure if it is related to this as he does really enjoy it and never had a problem settling in.
I really hope you can help me as the broken sleep is affecting both myself and Ali, who is more grumpy during the day and before bedtime. I am not much better! I do hope you can help restore my life.
Kind regards
Naila Rahman
My baby screams when put in his cot to sleep, the only way for us to sleep is on a mattress on the floor. Is a very restless sleeper, and can’t get himself to sleep and stay asleep. Is there an answer. ?
My 8-month old baby gets up screaming in the middle of the night. Somehow, anything that I say or do doesnt seem to pacify her. After about 5-10 min of furious screaming and crying (all with her eyes closed all the time) she settles back to sleep. My girl who used to sleep with just 2 breaks till she was almost 5 months old, keeps getting up every hour or so from 2 am till the time she wakes up at around 8. Am not so bothered about her waking up, rather than the screaming bit. What could be the reason?
my child of 2 years still sleeps with me every night in bed. how do i get him to sleep in his own cot now???
he also will not eat everything give him and find myself cooking him something else.
PLEASE help me! My now 10 month old was sleeping through the night perfectly, until he started teething at 6.5 mos. Since that time, he wont fall asleep AT ALL unless I nurse him, but then as soon as I put him down, he would wake up. So, I have resorted to side nursing, and because I am so tired due to his lack of sleep, I have been unintentionally falling asleep in his room. When I do escape, and he wakes to find I am missing, he has complete meltdown. I’ve tried putting him in the crib awake and checking every 2-20 minutes, but as soon as he sees me again, he cries for another 2 hours. What can I do to ease these insecurities and get him back into his routine??
When do children generally out grow naps? Is it a good idea to put my 3 year old down even if she doesn’t sleep? I consider it a rest period but she really only falls asleep 1-2 days a week at the most.
My baby is 4 months old and i breastfeed him. he takes a good and routine naps in day time but he doesn’t sleep through all night, he wakes up min 3 times to feed then back to sleep but not in cot with us as if he awake then never sleeps in cot. I tried to make him comfortable in cot but couldn’t get success as he cries alot and i can’t leave him like that. so at the moment he sleeps while breastfeed then I put him in cot otherwise he sleeps with us . Please suggest me how can i improve his sleeping patern in night.
hi i always read your emails and blogs and most the time i agree and often i get some good ideas from what you write but today reading this i think you have said the wrong thing. whats wrong with stating toilet training so early. My daughter will be 2 in september and she is toilet trained, she only has nappy on for naps and 90% is dry when she wakes up.
I started toilet training when gracie (my baby girl ) was 6 months old. It was more toliet timeing then but im so glad i started when i did. Id sit gracie on the potty for every nappy change and if she did something id go mad with excitment and praise. She loved the attention. Gracie learnt to say poo and wee very early and from 6 months she would tell me when she needed to do a poo. i have not changed a pooy nappie since then. she still did her wees in the nappy untill about 2 months ago whn i simply said no more nappies, wees go in the toilet now. she wet herself 4 times the first day, i told her it was yukky and bad and i made her know i was not impressed, she has not made a mistake since that first day.
I think my baby is very clever but i know it was all the preperation that made this last step to toilet training so easy.
Toilet training should be something to start preparing for as early AS POSSIBLE.
i think getting baby used to sitting on the potty befor they can get up off it by them self is better. if you start later they can just get straigt up and walk off.
well thats my thoughts on toliet training.
Thanks
I have had to get up out of bed a few times because she wants to go to the toilet, which i dont mind at all, it means she really doesnt want to do a wee in her nappy, and soon ill be able to never buy another box of nappies again.
she is grownin up and i have to grow as a mother as she grown into a child from a baby.
No more geting up for breastfeeds.. yet i will still have to get up when she yells out for a drink of water.
No more getting up to change a wet nappy, yet i will still have to get up to take her to the toilet.
Mothering doesnt stop when your baby isnt a baby anymore, it just changes as she needs help with different things.
My daughter is 17 months old and breastfeed. She nurses only at nap and she wakes up during the night about 7 times. She has never slept through the night nor slept in her crib for a full night (she comes to our bed, because I end up so tired). I have not slept through the night in 2 years. I can not leave when it is nap or night time due to the fact that i am the only one to get her to sleep I have done everything you have suggested in your material. I have a huge problem. Even when I sit by her bed she cries. The problem is that she gets herself so worked up in just a few minutes she vomits. Last time I tried she cried for 10 minutes then I had to change her sheets. I put her back in the crib then and within 8 minutes again I then changed her clothes and the sheet I then put her right back in the crib and within 5 minutes she had vomited again. . Please help!
This sounds exactly like my 14 mth old daughter!! She has never responded well to CIO and it just made her more unsettled at night. I attend to her every cry now and normally BF her back to sleep as I know one day she will not require it anymore as she will outgrow it in her own time. I believe she is highly sensitive and from what I’ve read highly sensitive children don’t respond well to CIO. A strict sleep routine and an early dinner so she can use up her energy before bedtime seemed to help us. I think the more the baby/toddler feels safe and secure with a trusting relationship between Mum & Dad the more they will sleep. Hope you are able to catch up on some sleep during the day! It’s amazing how just 20 minutes catch up sleep can help!
My 20month old son used to nap around 10:30am. Now he refuses to nap until later around 1:00pm. When he naps at one he won’t go to sleep at night
until 8:30pm before Charlie would sleep at 7:00pm
please I need to know what can I do to change his sleeping pattern. Or how to help charlie wake up later in the morning. Thanks
My daughter is 2 and last week decided she didn’t want to wear nappies anymore and so potty trained herself within a few days and we have not had any accidents in the day for the last 4 days. At night and sleep times I am having to put her in pull ups and call them pants, but she has started demanding going on the potty after I have put her down to sleep but then not doing anything. She is using this as a delaying tactic and doesn’t want to get off, I don’t want to ignore her want to go on the potty incase she does actually need it, but equally this is becoming a control thing for her and I don’t know what to do. Any advice/ suggestions would be very gratefully received.
Thanks
Hannah
Hi hannah. As I am only a new mum i haven’t endured this with my son yet but I have heard of this happening before. I believe the advice given was, to make sure that your daughter has done everything possible (for which she could make an excuse) prior to going to bed. For example, brushed her teeth, gone to the potty and washed her hands, said goodnight to other family members. Let her know that once she is in bed she is there to sleep and if she does not do these things before going to bed then she will not be allowed up to do them. Hopefully this helps. Not sure if it works but it sounds hopeful :)
my son is 22 months old and he has been sleeping in our bed this whole time. we are finding it very hard we just bought him a new toddler bed how do I get him to sleep in his bed with out us?
Hello! I have a 16 month old and a 6 year old. My 6 year old has been clinically defined as an ‘asynchronous learner’ – or a gifted child. There are more of these children out there than you may be aware of and we need help with a lot of issues; one being sleep! My daughter never sleeps and has the WORST time getting to sleep. Although this behaviour is quite typical of a gifted child, I wonder if you have had experience in dealing with this and can impart any wisdom?
Thank you.
kshykula
My daughter is just over 5 months old, and I believe she has started teething. We went from waking up 0-1 time a night, back to 4 times a night. Is there any suggestions you can provide to help my baby get some sleep, during teething?
Please help,
Sleepless in Colorado
My granddaughter is 14 months old – she goes to bed around 8 and gets up around 8 or 8:30. The concern is that she wakes up around 3 or 3:30 in the morning and talks and plays in her crib. Her room is all dark and only has a duck in her crib that she has slept with since she was 6 months old. She does go back to sleep by herself. Is there anyway to stop this and is it an issue?
Okay, so what to do about my almost 11 month old that is refusing to sleep through the night??? We tried sleep sense when he was 7 months old and he did really well after only about 3 nights. However, 3-4 weeks into the program, we had a couple of out of town weddings, a trip planned, and a few other out-of-ordinary events. Since then, to say the least, he has slept terrible and I’ve done myself a great disservice by being inconsistent with him. I’ve tried the program several times for about 2 week stretches since then, but he will literally cry for 5 hours at a time. He goes down for naps during the day as he should (just lay him down and he goes to sleep for about an hour an a half) but wakes frequently at night. Help! I know his sleep issues are probably mostly about consistency, but how do I “start over” to retrain him?
My grandson has recently started getting up during the night. He will be 3 in November. He had been a very good sleeper after we used your program when he was very young. This is new behavior, he wakes with a start, climbs out of his bed, goes to mom & dad’s room, making various demands. many times it seems as though he’s not even totally awake. Often he is very upset & difficult to calm.
He recently started pre-school & is not getting as much sleep as he used to. This behavior started around the same time. Before starting school, he was being taken care of usually one on one.
Hi Dana,
My 2 year old son is used to falling asleep at night while either my husband or myself sit beside his bed.
Unfortunately, this can take 15 min or even an hour. We have tried putting him in his bed, explaining to him that we are in the next room and eventually leaving the room, but after 2 min he gets out of his bed and comes to us.
I know we should have dealt with this at an earlier age, maybe even before we changed his bed into a toddler bed….
How do you recommend that we teach him to fall asleep on his own, without one of us sitting next to his bed?
Thanks,
Ofira
I have the exact same issue w my toddler please lett meknow how these parents were advised .thanks.
My 4 1/2 month old son has stopped feeding well during the day. He has a great feed right before bed (20 mins) and a good one at about 3 am. When he wakes at 7 am, I can’t get him to feed for more than 5 minutes. Through the day, his feeds are approximately every 4 hours, but he’ll only breastfeed for about 10 minutes each time. Should I stop feeding him in the middle of the night to increase his appetite during the day? Do I just go cold turkey or should I decrease his night feeds first?
Hi Carolyn
I just thought i’d let you know that my 18 week old has only ever really fed between 7& 10 minutes each feed. He used to feed 2 hourly but moved to 4 hourly after about 8 weeks. The health visitor just says that they start to feed a lot more efficiently as they grow older so this may be what’s happening during the day for you. There’s so much to see and do now that he feeds very efficiently but then at night he’s in a calmer frame of mind maybe. My son’s still piling on the weight so he’s getting all that he needs from each feed so as long as you’re son’s still putting on the weight i don’t think you need to worry too much.
Anna
My husband and I bought your book about a month ago. My 2 year old is now sleeping much better, however still wakes at about 1:30am and 4:30am yelling she has to go potty. Should I leave her or bring her to the potty and back to bed? She is about 90% potty trained during the day.