Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from Kellen. She writes:
“My daughter is 11 months old and still wakes up at least twice a night, and I have tried everything. She falls asleep on her own fine and sometimes she will wake and sooth herself back to sleep. But at the 2:00 a.m. waking she can never soothe herself — she cries and cries!
I still nurse her and I just started nursing her at the 11:00 p.m. waking and trying to let her go through the 2:00 a.m. waking, but it rarely works. When she nurses, she never falls asleep and I put her back in the crib wide awake. If I give in and feed her at 2:00 a.m., she always goes back into the crib fine and sleeps until morning, but I want her to sleep all night… What should I do?””
Well, there are a few really good things that you have done. She falls asleep on her own at bedtime and there are times in the night when she falls back to sleep on her own as well. So that is really the first step and usually the hardest step. You have conquered the hardest part and it is just a matter of getting her right through the night. I hear this question quite often from people, so I just want you to have a look at what you are doing for the night waking. It looks like you used to be feeding her at 2:00 a.m. but not 11:00 p.m. and now you are feeding her around 11:00 a.m and not at 2:00 p.m. so it sounds like it is pretty confusing.
You know what you are doing; this all makes sense when there is a method to all of it. In her mind though, she really has no clue. You used to feed her at 2:00 p.m. and not 11:00 a.m. and now you it has switched. Sometimes, this can just make a baby wake up crying regardless of what time it is. By 11 months old, there is no reason why she should not be sleeping all night so making a few little changes will make all the difference. For every wake up I recommend to first wait about five and even 10 minutes if it does not sound too serious.
There is something special about the 10 minute mark and often if you wait 10 minutes at least some of the time, the baby is back to sleep and you would not have had to do anything. If it sounds more urgent within five minutes, then definitely go in and remind her it is still night. Lay her down, give her back her teddy and tuck her back in. If you want, you can pull up a chair and just sit right by the crib or you can do some careful touching. If it helps to pat her back a little bit, and that offers comfort, that is fine. You just do not want to pat her back to sleep.
Just keep reminding her that it is sleepy time, but do not give in and nurse her. The good news is that while you are nursing her, you are not nursing her back to sleep and that is great. It just sounds like she is sort of habitually night feeding for no real reason. I think she has just convinced herself that is what she needs halfway through the night, and is not really accepting much less. I do not think there is a lot of evidence that feeding a baby more before bed makes any difference to their night waking, but you could try that just for the sake of ruling it out. You could give her a little bit more to eat through the day, by increasing her meals and nursing throughout. Or you could try adding a little bit to the bedtime routine by offering solids before bed and then a little bit of a top-up nurse before she actually goes into the crib. It might help or it might not.
It probably has nothing to do with food during the night though and I would push through the night waking with no feeds at all. That will really clear things up for her. It will be a rough couple of nights because she is used to getting the feeding. But because she already has the skills, meaning she puts herself to sleep at bedtime and occasionally through the night, it will not be as hard. It is not going to be as hard as somebody who is starting with a baby who has no idea how to put themselves to sleep for any of it. Then, it is a tougher struggle. This will be a rough couple of nights for sure but I do not suspect it will be much more than that. You are just going to have to dig deep and get through those couple of nights and get her off these night feeds. I really do not think that there is much use in sort of weaning her down or shortening the feed times.
I think with children her age, it is just better to pull the feed so there is no confusion, meaning every wake up is handled exactly the same until morning comes. I have said this over and over but I do not consider morning anything before 6:00 a.m. so hang in there till 6:00 a.m. and then if she is awake, you can start your day with her. Take her somewhere else, either for breakfast first or for her first feed. You are halfway there; you are really close and you have just got to get over this last little hurdle. Then you should be through it and she should be sleeping all night!
Thanks for your question… and sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
I have a 10mth old, he does not nurse. Ive ruined him by rocking him to sleep then putting him in his bed, but he wakes up in the middle of the night. I want him to go to sleep on his own and not wake up in the middle of the night! What do i do? Last night i did the cry it out method and he slept from 9-1:30 am …im always sleepy at work and its making my days harder. Ive given him a night light, music, and a little teddy bearw/ a tiny blanket attached(lovie) to sleep with for security..I dont know what to do about him waking up…
My grandson is almost 20 months old..he was born 4 weeks premature and slept fairly well until he hit the teething stage then became very wakeful. Now he might sleep 1-2 hours and then he’s up every 45 minutes to an hour the rest of the night. Most of the time he has his eyes shut but he is thrashing like a “fish out of water”..another oddity…his entire body will be cool or a normal temperature but his feet are like they are on fire..this is with no covers or socks on. ..is there such a thing as restless leg syndrome in toddlers? The grandfather, great grandfather and uncle all have this problem..this has been going on for months..every night it is the same routine..he doesn’t sleep so neither do his parents…do you have any advice? or know of any doctor who would be aware of what the problem is…I wish he could have a sleep study so people could see how he does every night…thanks!
My daughter is 16 months old and she is waking up 2 to 3 times a night I wait for about 10 minutes to see if she will fall back asleep, sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn’t. When I go in there to check on her and tell her that it is ok and it is sleepy time she cries hard and wants me to pick her up and when I do she falls back asleep. I feel that she does not like her crib anymore, should I go and get her a toddler bed? I need to know what I can do so that way she can sleep through the night and have a good night sleep. I am going crazy trying to figure a way to keep her from waking up in the middle of the night, I feel that it is her teeth that are still coming in (she was a late bloomer for teeth she started getting them at 10 1/2 months old) My fiance puts her to sleep by holding her and giving her a bottle, should we keep doing that? Or should we tell her that it is night night time and she needs to go to bed and put her in her crib and leave the room. Please help
Thank you
hi… i hav 18mnths old child she is very good but the prob is she is still depending only on breastfeed is it right and somedays i mean 3 or 4 days she preferred rice with dal but again she get back to breast feed.And she wants to eat snacks but she rejects rice ,fruits,oral fluids thats the main problem.Whenever any child is with her she tries to eat something but when she is alone she only depends on breast feed
Here is a question I have searched and searched on but no on seems to have an answer. We have a 28 month old who is a great little sleeper and a routine that is basically set in stone. We also have an 8 month old who cannot stand to go to sleep witout being rocked, patted or at least held for sometimes 5 minutes sometimes 45 minutes. Due to work schedules I do bed time for both boys on my own about 70% of the time and I cannot figure out how to come up with a routine for the younger one that works with the older one.
The older boy’s routine is: a short movie (Signing Time) at 6:30 while we do a breathing treatment, then up to bed at 7:15, bath, teeth, story and sleep. No problem.
For the little one, I try to do a bottle during the movie, then a story (all downstairs) then I get him as relaxed as possible them up to bed around 7. But I have to get back downstairs for the big kid. Just last night the little one got himself to sleep for about an hour but then he woke at 8 and after 5 minutes of screeching (I use earplugs if I am in the room) he managed to make himself vomit all over the bed.
How do people do this without making one kid suffer?
I have two children, one 2 1/2 and one 10 months, that share a room . My daughter has 3 naps a day, I put her down awake, walk away and she falls asleep. I usually put her to bed at 7:00pm, again putting her in awake and walking away. My son goes down at around 8pm, we put his jammies on, brush his teeth, then read him a story. I can no longer get my son to nap at all and it is difficult to put him to sleep at night. It usually involves a lot of screaming and then he wakes her up. He has always been a terrible sleeper. He still gets up at least once a night just screaming (it seems like he is scared of something) and often wakes her up. I wonder if he does it on purpose because she gets so hysterical that I have to go in there, but he has been doing it since before she was born. He had colic for the first 3 1/2 months and was waking up 9 to 10 times a night. His sleep improved after the colic went away, but was still not good. I have tried every kind of sleep therapy on him and nothing seems to work. I let him cry it out and it did nothing, I tried going in and rubbing his back, I tried going in every five minutes. All of these I tried for at least several weeks. Finally at around 1 1/2 years we tried moving him to a toddler bed as I was at my wits end having not had a full nights sleep for a year and a half. It seemed to help for a while, but then got worse again. Then it got better after we put our daughter in the room with him. It got worse again, so we followed your program and kept walking him back in with no communication. I worked, but again got worse tried your same program again because it seemed to have worked, but it was like he figured out what we were trying to do because it turned into a game and he was actually laughing! I contained my frustration with it and kept trying, but it no longer worked I literally spent hours walking him back to his room. I am so frustrated. I have a month left on my maternity leave and am going to have to go back to work when I am still getting up usually three times a night and it often takes me an hour to put him back to bed (they are usually up once or twice each), because I am trying to do sleep therapy yet again (right now I am moving a little closer to the door every night) She is such a good sleeper and I feel like he is almost ruining it for her as I know if they were in separate rooms I would have her sleeping through the night. Unfortunately we don’t have an extra room.
Help me I haven’t slept properly in 2 1/2 years!!!
Dana,
My daughter Sophie is 3 months today and just in the last 5 nights has started sleeping from 7:30-8pm until 5-6am. She usually is sleepy and goes to bed on her own. We are trying to figure out how to get her to sleep until 6:30 or 7am. Is that feasible at her age? Last night she was so sleepy she only drank 3.5 oz of her 6oz bottle and woke up at 5:30 and we fed her at 6. She is still taking 30min to one hour naps 3-4 times daily and the 4th nap is usually at 5 or so and shorter. Should we let her cry in the morning until 6:30 or 7 if she can go back to sleep until then? I know a lot of moms have this question- please HELP us!!!
MY daughter who is almost 1 year old. She goes to bed at around 8pm after a feed, sleepy but awake. I have managed to cut out the 12pm feed using gentle patting etc but at 3/4pm she seems genuinely hungry and still requires a full feed. She is not a very big baby (about 24ibs) . Could she be genuinely hungry at this point? I have tried once to put her to sleep without feeding which took a whole hour only for her to wake every half hour after that wanting the feed. Any advice would be appreciated.
I have a 23 mo. old who has been going to bed and sleeping through the night successfully since she was 4 mo. old, thanks to your system. She takes 1 or 2 naps a day, depending on whehter she is at day care or not. She has no trouble going down for a nap, and it lasts 1.5-2 hrs. each. Her bedtime is 8pm, and she wakes between 5:30-6:30, but we don’t get her out of her bed until 6am. Recently, she has not been sleeping through the night, and will cry and ask to get up for 1-3 hours at a time. Sometimes I go in immediately and others I wait 10-20 min. She used to put herself back to sleep, but now she just can’t until she’s been up for at least an hour! I work full time, and this is driving me nuts! How can we get back to our sleep through the night schedule?
Hi, I have a 8 month baby girl. She’s teething and is really suffering at times with it. I started giving her a dummy to sooth her at night when I put her to bed about 7.30pm but she’s been waking up 2-3 times in the early hours and crys but goes back to sleep if we pop her dummy back in. How can we get her to sleep through the night without waking up, do we take her dummy away or would she wake up anyway because she’s teething? I am due to return back to work in a couple of months an know this would really be hard on me, it’s already taking it’s toll on my poor husband. Please help!
Dear Dana ,
i have a 8 month old baby boy, with GERD or reflux problem . because he was used to fall asleep while bottle feeding .. i am now trying to keep him awake while feeding … then after that it’s at 9 pm he would fall asleep in my shoulder because i have to keep him in an upright position for 30 mins. because of his reflux , then i would put him to his crib after … he would sleep 2 to 3 hrs straight after that but then he will wake up almost every hour after & each time i have to pick him up otherwise he would fuss around cry until he would cough up then HE’LL THROW UP after , & that’s what my problem … i cannot just stay or sit with beside his crib … i have to pick him up everytime to prevent him from throwing up… & think this is with a mixture of him got used to be picked up because of his sickness… PLEASE HELP ME !!!
Hi,I have a 2 year old and I have a 3 mth old little boy. We have him sleeping in a baby hammock which is working well in terms of him putting himself to sleep initially.
He has around 3 sleeps during the day of about 1 – 1.5 hrs ( he wakes after 40 mins so I sit and pat him to sleep or hold his hand and settle him. Sometimes it works/sometimes not.)
He is breastfed and gets hungry every 2-3 hours all day so I feed him. Bed time is around 7. He used to sleep 7pm – 11pm or 12 then wake every 2 -3 hrs for a feed. He now will only sleep at night 7pm- wakes after 40 mins. I settle him then sleeps maybe until 10pm. I feed him, then he will wake every 1.5 hrs for the rest of the night.
I am just exhausted and seem to somehow have made matters worse.He also wakes my 2 year old with the crying. We do use a dummy and I have resorted through the night to lying him beside me. He will feed every 1.5 hrs all night.
Please help!!
Danielle
my 16 month old son Miller goes to bed at 7pm no trouble,i just put him in his cot awake and say night night. He wakes up about 12ish and wont settle off, i used to give him milk but have stopped this and now give him water! He enjoys this just as much but now still wont settle off after and wants to come into our bed(he sleeps in our bedroom anyway as we have have 3 other children). He wakes up between 5 and 6am and i give him milk in bed!Then we just play in bed until everyone wakes up. Help please !!!
I have a 4 month old who wakes up 8 times a night. He seems to be getting worse every week. We have a bedtime routine and then we have to rock him to sleep. If I put him into bed drowsy but awake, he will wake right up and cry until i pick him up and do the whole rocking thing again. Then he will wake up every hour and sometimes every 20 minutes. He does not know how to get himself to sleep. He only sleeps 2 hours during the day too. Help, my husband and I are honestly on our last ropes.
my 15 month old still wont sleep in his own crib i tryed soothing him to sleep then putting him in his bed to start with where he’d stay for a while but then would wake up crying uncontrolably no matter what i did he would’nt calm and this could go on all night, due to having to go back to work i found the only way i could get a bit more sleep was to cuddle him in my bed even though he’d still wake up multiple times in the night know hes getting older i’d really like him to fall asleep in his own bed
please help
gemma
I have a 6 month old daughter who cannot and I say cannot sooth herself to sleep. She would cry for hours if I let her. She falls asleep nursing or with a bottle because I cannot put her in her crib awake, she crys like shes being hurt or something, when she is really fine. She also wakes up multiple times a night and then we co-sleep (bad I know). She then falls asleep nursing, sleeping next to me while my husband goes to the couch. She and I will sleep like that until morning. I don’t know what to do this is crazyness. We do the whole bath at the same time evey night, cuddle or read at the same time every night then bottle and asleep she goes. But, she will not go in her crib awake, she will cry so hard, even going in every five minutes and telling her its sleepy time and patting her butt. Please HELP!
Sincerely,
Autum
Hello, my son Anthony is almost 4 months old and I have the same problem as Chelsea. What is better for my baby to fall asleep in the evening sucking on his hands or pacifier? He prefers his hands, because he did not learn to suck on pacifier – I have to hold it for him. He already discovered his thumbs and I am worried if I let him suck on them it will be for years to come. I know some kids that sucked on their thumbs intil 5,6 years of age.
As for the sleeping thru the nite we started the training just 3 weeks ago and the hardest is to soothe himself to sleep at 7:30pm. Then he wakes up 2 times to be fed, which I succesfuly narrowed from 4 times.
Thank you.
I wanted to clarify something about my 3 1/2 month old ldaughter. I had said that she gets restless at night (and during the day nap times). what I meant by restless is that she actually thrashes around like a fish out of water. So much so that she would unwrap herself from her swaddle and fling her arms around (I have tried not swaddling her but as soon as she is laid down her arms fling around and she will not sleep) At night I would try and feed her to calm her down but she usually does not want to eat. So I re swaddle and hold her until she is calm and then lie her down again. this may happen several times during the night.
My daughter is 3 1/2 months old. We are having a terrible time during the day at naps. She typically only takes 3-6 20 minute naps throughout the day and perhaps 1 long nap (2-3 hours) during that time. I have tried to get her back to sleep when she wakes up but usually to no avail. She often seems fine during her wake up times (although they do not last long) and I have been able to lately get her to soothe herself to sleep. She often does not sleep well at night, waking as much as every hour because of restlessness. I try to only feed here every three hours during the day and at night. We have had 3 nights where she has gone at 5 hour stretches but then is up every hour after that, restless and not wanting to sleep. I have tried to get her on a schedule during the day, but her sleep pattern is so random it is hard. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. By the way, I have taken her to have chiropractic work done because at around 1-2 1/2 months she was a miserable baby. There were days that she would be up for 12 hours straight crying and then not sleeping at night. She has had 7 sessions with the chiropractor and is a completely different baby. The day of and the following day she will nap well ( 1 or 2 short 20-30 minute naps and 1 long 3-4 hour nap) and sleep well ( 5 hours-one feeding-3/4 hours). Thank you
hi Dana, My daughter is nearly 8 months old. I am still breatsfeeding her, as she is not big on eating food yet. I keep trying her on solids so shes nice and full for the night time, so hopefully she sleeps better. I am trying to weane her off breastfeeding so much, Mainly because the only way I can get her to sleep is to nurse her to sleep then put her in her cot. I know this is a problem because then i guess she startles when she wakes up and i am no longer there. She often wakes up a few time a night and sometimes i have to nurse her back to sleep other times i just pick her up and shes asleep again. Sometimes I am so tired i bring her in bed with me around 4ish, its easy for me to do this because I am on my own, however I know this is not a good routine to get into.
She just works herself up sooo much if i try to put her down for the night to settle herself to sleep. She used to sleep from around 8:00pm to about 6:30am every night and would settle herself really well, but all of a sudden she just changed.
I am a single mother, so its just me doing it all, and am finding it quite hard getting up all through the night, but also know that more so than me she needs a good sleep too. I guess what I’m wondering is as she gets older and walking and crawling around will she just wear herself out so much so that she is so tired and falls asleep herself, or am I going to really have to change how she goes to sleep (i am not wanting to breastfeed any longer than 12 months). I look forward to hearing your response. Thankyou
My daughter is 3 1/2 and has a hard time going to sleep at night because she says that there are monsters and she is afraid of the dark. I have to pat her back or sing to her inorder for her to fall asleep. She tends to wake up 2,3,& sometimes 4 times a night. She wakes up calling for me and when I go to her she tells me that she woke up because she got scared. She goes to bed between 8:30 and 9 and usually around 11 or so is when she starts to wake up. In order to get her back to sleep I have to pat her back or sing her a song. She will not fall asleep by herself. Sometimes it takes up to an hour or more to get her back to bed. She tells me that she is scared of monsters and will not fall asleep at all if the tv in her room is off. I’ve tried turning off the tv after she goes to sleep but she wakes up shortly after. I’ve let her pick out night lights that appeal to her in hopes that she would feel comfortable at night. She has certain stuffed animals that she sleeps with but they don’t work either. She wants to sleep with me & when i’m to tired or frustrated to deal with the situation I’ll bring her to my room (which is very rare) and she still won’t fall asleep because she says its to dark and she is scared. She wont sleep in my room because it is to dark and she wont sleep through the night in her room because she is afraid the dark and of monsters. My husband and I have tried everything possible from talking to the monsters in the closet, beating up the monsters and throwing them out of the house to even giving her a neckalace that protects her from monsters and nothing works. Can you please help us because all three of us are running on only a few hours of sleep a night. Thank you
My son Jason started at 7 months with waking up more then three times every night, now he is 8 months. I think he’s doing this because he he’s teething, I nurse him before he goes to bed around 9 pm and he wakes up between 12-1 am and again between 4-6 am I nurse him again and he goes back to sleep, he doesn’t like his crib he wants our bed and he doesn’t know how to go back to sleep on his own, I’ve let him cry an hour and he doesn’t go back to sleep until I nurse him or rock him. For naps he doesn’t sleep good either sometimes he sleeps an hour but most of the times he takes 15-30 minutes naps twice a day and I have to get up every morning at 6 am to go to work so I’m very exausted. Can you please give an advise?
I’ll aprreciated it!
I’m a first time mom I have no set schdule for my 15 month old son but he wake the same time everyday takes a 3 hour nap at 2:30pm. The problem I have is getting him to sleep by himself at night or getting him to stay sleep. he uses me as a prop to get to sleep. I have lay with until he is sleep around 8 or 9, then he wakes up around 10 or 11 trying to stay up. and I cant’ get him to sleep in his crib never him will cry until you get him out ecspially at night when it is dark. He will cry for hours on in even when do the 5, 10 15 minute check in on him to see if he is alright he still sleeps in my bed with my husband and I. He was breastfeed until about 8 months old he not any more so what can I do please help!!!
My daughter is 13 months. I recently moved her out of my room into her own. She stills wakes one to three times a night.She takes a bink to go to sleep.I don’t think she ever learned how to sooth herself back to sleep.Starting around 2&1/2 months she started getting surgerys.She had her last one on halloween.so when she cried at night I got up with her.Now she screams and cries if I don’t let her out of bed.She has a bed time set and she gets a bath ,story & lovings from me and dad every night. I just don’t know how to get her to sleep all night every night.She will a couple of times a week but not every night.Thanks for your thoughts.
I have been using your program with my son for over a year and we have loved it! In fact, just recently we began thinking of transitioning to a toddler bed (he is now 2 1/2). But in the last week he has started crying out five to ten minutes after we leave the room and asking for more songs or be tucked in one more time, but as you can guess this would go on and on if we let it. He has started climbing out of his crib the last few days, and will continually climb out over and over! We put him back in and leave the room but it goes on and on. I have a crib tent that I’ve never needed, but it seems a little ridiculous to use on a child that is almost old enough for a toddler bed. Any suggestions?
Hello! My boy is now 9 1/2 mounths and I finally got him to sleep true the night, but at the moment the problem is that he wakes up already 7:00 am and alsow that his day naps are only 1/2 an hour at the time What should I do for those things?
Hi I have an 18month old baby who still wakes 2-3 times a night for feeding, i know she deosnt need this and did use to sleep thro but started waking again. She naps fine during the day and goes to bed awake, altho sometimes i have to stay with her. The only way i can get to go back to sleep is a few minutes at the breast, she also wakes every day at 5.10am. I can sometimes get her back to sleep but other times she starts her day there. I really cant leave her to cry it out as this really wakes her and she sill then be awake for 2 hours inthe middle of the night and also she makes herself vomit., she has also climbed out of her cotbed and hurt herself before. I am really desperate i am now pregnant with my next baby – please help!
My daughter is doing your program, but I have a question. Her baby is 7 mo. old and was waking up a lot, he is sleeping much better now, but what bothers me is that when he wakes up in the night and cries, she doesn’t look in on him until he has cried at least 20 minutes. She says this is according to your program. Don’t you think she should check on him when he starts to cry to make sure he isn’t tangled in the blankets or has maybe spit up all over himself? This is her first baby. I think 20 minutes is too long. Sometimes he cries for an hour and a half before he exhausts himself back to sleep. Whenever he quits crying she doesn’t go check on him to make sure he is okay.
Hi!
I’m ready to ween my little man who is now 13 months old! The main problem is I don’t think he’s ready… And he typically only nurses before each sleep time (nap, bed and early mornings). So how do you think I should go about this so it doesn’t stress him out? Oh and one major detail is that I am heading out of town for work in 5 weeks!!!!
HELP!
Courtney
(Chicago, IL, USA)
My 26 month old son has resumed back to his old habbits of waking up nightly. He never slept through the night until he was 11 months old and seems to have returned to his bad habit. I do not feed him when he wakes up but he never falls asleep on his own either. I do go into his room and sit in there until he falls asleep but it sometimes takes him anm hour! He just believes it’s morning which ever time of the night he wakes up, not sure what to do from here…..
Thanks for any advice you have:)
hi there! we LOVE your program!!! our daughter is 7 months old and goes down to sleep for her 930am and 230pm naps and 7pm bedtime without any challenges! we’ve been diligent about following the program to the T and its really worked for us.
HOWEVER, our challenge is 4am…Marley has been weaned from her nightfeeds and my husband can get her back down when she bubbles up at about 230am but struggles with her at 4am when she is up and WIDE awake as in LETS PLAY!! and stays awake crying for one hour. He does the 10 mins wait, then in every 5 mins to sooth her back down to her crib. She stands up in her crib now so we dont want to wait longer than 5 mins in case she falls and hurts herself.
What can we do to get her past this hump?
Not sure if her teething is part of this challenge… any tips you can share?
thanks!!!
Hi I have a son who turns three in May and does not sleep through the night and has not done so for about six to eight months. He wakes for his bottle about three to five tmes per night, which is driving myself and my wife up the wall. we have changed his bedtime routine and now give his bottle down stairs and have a settled bedtime routine but he still wakes.
He sends himself to sleep on his own every night and does not get out of bed which is good its just the waking in the night that is the problem.
any ideas would be great
Many thanks
Colin
My 14 month daughter has never been a fantastic sleeper. However since starting nursery in September she has had constant cough after cold. This along with teething has disrupted her sleep even more and she can wake up throughout the night up to 20 times, sometimes for an hour at a time although she will usually settle easily with her dummy. Despite this she was always really good at sleeping during the day and actually going to sleep. However, she has recently learnt to stand up in her cot so can now take up to an hour to go to sleep, prefering to stand up and bounce! Although her morning nap is still going ok, her afternoon nap is almost impossible and we often end up giving in. I’d really like to get her back to going to sleep relatively quickly and ideally sleeping through the night.
We are finding it hard to get hunter to his bed from our bed when he is asleep what can we do?
Hi Dana,
my 19 week old has trouble going to sleep. I’ve been trying the Ferber method, but I’m not sure whether teething is upsetting her and preventing her from sleeping. She’s usually chewing on her hand or rubbing her hand across her gums. She sleeps throughout most of the night except she wakes up at 3am and I feed her and change her diaper. She goes back to bed pretty much right away and doesn’t wake up until 6:30. Then she feeds, plays and goes back to bed after an hour for about an hour and a half nap. What are your thoughts on the teething interfering with her sleep?
I have been reading your advice on dream feeding and sleeping during the night. My 2 1/2 month old was waking at 3 or 4 am and I was feeding him but he was always so tired and barely woke up. After reading your column I decided to see if we could skip the feed and re-settle. Only two nights did I have to get up and pop the pacifier back in and now he sleeps from 10pm to 6am without any waking and soothing. He has been put in his own bed in his own room from birth and I have been putting him to bed awake so that he learns to put himself to sleep. We have had a bit of a problem with reflux and getting him to nap during the day as he spits up and it obviously hurts as he has quite a high pitched scream!! We have found a special thickened formula and we also give him a wee bit of mashed potato or baby rice in the evenings when he seems fussy and tends to cluster feed. He may fuss for a few minutes when we put him to bed but he settles and sleeps really well so far. I was wanting to start good habits right from birth so that we were not looking for help only when we had a problem!! Thanks for the great advice, keep up the good work!!
Hello,
My daughter will be three this May. She goes to bed at 7:30pm by herself. The room is dark, and she doesn’t wet herself, ever. For a period she was getting up around 7/7:30am, but for some reason the past couple of weeks she is getting up at 5:30am.
She is tired all day, and keeping her up until 7:30pm can be difficult. In otherwords, I don’t believe that she is getting enough sleep at night. I honestly think she needs more, and it isn’t just something that I’d prefer!
I am tempted to put her to bed later in the evening, but frankly when I’ve done that in the past she still gets up at the same time. The only difference is that she will nap, which isn’t practical since it is difficult at her current day care.
Are there any suggestions on how to get her to sleep longer? I am thinking of getting her an alarm clock and encouraging her to stay in bed until it goes off.
Thanks. Jennifer
Hi Dana,
I have 18 month old daughter who has a sleeping pattern. 2 to 3 weeks sleeps fine during the day and night.The next 2 to 3 weeks the sleep is disturbed she wakes up atleast 3 times mostly early mornings at 2,5,6… and then sleeps till 8 a.m. She takes 2 hrs noon nap and her night sleep starts at 9 p.m. I am unable to make her sleep earlier than that..We mostly rock her to sleep. We give her motrin whenever she is teething and that helps her to sleep better, but on other days we don’t know why she wakes up frequently.
Is the sleep pattern normal I notice this after she turned one. Till one year she used to wake several times to feed on me which was understandable…but this is quite unusual..
Please explain.
Thanks
Kana
Hi,
Thanks for your advise and encouragement, i finally trained my 6 month old son to sleep on his own. He now hugs his bolster and happily falls asleep. We also have a good routine, ie , 2 naps during the day and sleeps by 8pm at night. His naps are also longer now. In the past, he would only nap for 20-30 minutes, 2 – 3 times a day, but now he can nap for 3 hours total during the day. My question is that he still wakes up at night. I feed him at 7pm and then he sleeps. He then wakes up at around 10am just crying. He does not want milk. He doesnt want to be put down. I have to carry and walk around and put him to sleep and sometimes it takes an hour. He also wakes up around 2:30 and 5:30 at night. I always think he is getting up for milk but there are times he just drinks 80ml and i dont feel that he is so hungry that he had to wake up. Basically if he wakes up in the middle of the night, i cant put him down to sleep on his own but have to carry and walk until he sleeps. Pls assist. Tks
My baby girl Neko is approaching 4 months old. Our situation is unique in that we live in an “adults only” condo unit, so since Neko was born we’ve tried our hardest to keep the noise to a minimum. As a result we’ve been feeding Neko 4-5 bottles of formula a night at 1 hour intervals, and sleeping next to her crib in the livingroom for easy access, which as you can imagine is leaving us all exhausted. Her pediatrician says she is now well over the curve weighing 20 pounds, and that we have to get her down to a maximum of one bottle a night. So last night we put her in her own room for the first time, after a bath and a story (I talked to all of the neighbours in advance). She had a few meltdowns over the course of the night, but probably slept more then she has since I brought her home. I’d like to know how much I should wean her at this early stage when she’s used to a feed about every hour at night? Last night I allowed 2 feedings, one at 1am and another at 5am. Otherwise I followed the 10 minute guideline when she was crying and she was pretty good at returning to sleep with the exception of a 30 minute crying spree which also left me in tears at 3am. Should I have fed her during the 30 minutes rather than just “visiting”? I felt I should stick to only 2 feedings, and wanted to leave the latter until a bit later. I just don’t want to create any more habits now that she’s in her own room, yet I don’t want to traumatize her with a change overload either. THANKS!!! Renee
My little boy will be 2 next month and will not fall asleep at night time without me laying next to him in my bed. (He came to be in my bed as I could not walk due to a flare of rheumatoid arthritis when he was around 8 months old). Now if he wakes up during the night and I am not there he will get out of bed to look for me and will cry at the stair gate continually until I go to him and get back into bed with him. He gets into quite a state if left to cry and will start coughing and is usual sick. When he gets me into bed, he will hold onto my hair so if I try to sneak off when he is asleep he will wake up. I did manage to get him to sleep in his own bed for a few nights recently after doing his room up and making it a bit more “big boy” special and sat next to his cot bed until he fell asleep (which could be hours) but the novelty has worn off and he now refuses to get into his bed at night time and will have a huge tantrum until I give in. I am a single parent with no family nearby so the constant battle is down to me every single night and I often give in through tiredness. I try to aim to get him into bed by 7.30 although he can still be awake and jumping around the bed at 10.30 no matter what I do or say to get him to lay down. He even pretends to snore! If he has not had a nap during the day, he is usally asleep by 8.30 otherwise he can be awake anything up til midnight. Please help!
Our 5 month old baby girl is exclusively breastfed with no bottles of breast milk or formula. As per the WHO recommendation, we will not feed her solids until 6 months. She breast feeds 10-12 times a day, evenly spaced out over 24 hours. She will only eat from one breast, then refuses the other. It is impossible to get her to eat if she doesn’t want to. It seems like she likes small regular meals. Her growth is right on her growth curve, so she is just eating enough, but my doctor says she cannot skip those nighttime feeds. Is it possible to do sleep training with a baby like this? Do you have any suggestions for getting her to eat during the day and feed at night?
My baby boy is six months old. I am having a hard time getting him to go to sleep on his own. I established a bed time routine when he was younger that included nursing him to sleep. Now he needs that sucking reflex to go to sleep or sooth himself . I have tried letting him cry but it just seems to make him more mad and I have a hard time calming him down after letting him cry so long. He sleep pretty good through the night when I do nurse him, but I don’t want him to rely completely on that. I don’t know what I can do to help him learn to sooth himself and go to sleep on his own.
My baby boy is six months old. I am having a hard time getting him to go to sleep on his own. I established a bed time routine when he was younger that included nursing him to sleep. Now he needs that sucking reflex to go to sleep or sooth himself . I have tried letting him cry but it just seems to make him more mad and I have a hard time calming him down after letting him cry so long. I don’t know what I can do to help him learn to sooth himself and go to sleep on his own.
My son is 14 weeks old, and I’m wondering how I know when he is ready to start sleeping through the night without needing to feed. Right now, he feeds 1-2 times each night. He’s a really good sleeper otherwise and falls asleep on his own.
I know you said you’re second two babies were sleeping through the night by 13 weeks. I want to get my son sleeping through the night, but he is a really tall boy who has been growing really fast, and I’m afraid he really does still night at least one night feed. Is there any way to know when he is ready to drop the night time feedings and sleep through the night.
Dana,
Our son Parker is 17 months old and sleeps through the night most nights. He can usually put himself back to sleep when he does wake. He takes one 2 hour nap each day and is able to be put in his crip awake and falls asleep on his own, rarely without crying.
My question is regarding putting him to bed at night. Since the beginning, he has had a bottle right before bed, pushes it away when he’s done and flips over onto his tummy on our chest and falls asleep. The times we have tried to give him a bottle earlier in the evening and put him directly into his crib at bedtime wide awake have not been very successful. Yes, we give up easily. We love our cuddle time as well.
What is the most effective way to get him away from nighttime feedings and falling asleep on our shoulders. Since naptime is successful, I would think bedtime would be as well. We do love our bonding time with him and since he sleeps through the night, do not feel he’s dependent on the bottle.
Your advice would be truly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Julie
My son is 3 months and goes down for naps and bed awake and falls asleep w/ little to no fussing. He wakes up 1 – 2 times a night to eat and then goes right back to sleep. That I can handle for now, but what I’m more concerned about is his naps. Like I said before, he goes down fine (awake) but only sleeps 45-50 minutes on average (sometimes an hour). Then he’ll be awake for 1 hour to 1 hour, 15 minutes and goes back down for another 45-50 minute nap. This is how the whole day goes. Is this ok? I have 3 other children, none of which napped like this, so I feel like a new mother! He is not usually fussy as long as I do not allow him to be awake longer than 1 hr, 15 mins. I mainly want to know if that’s ok, but on the side – should he be sleeping all the way through the night now? Thanks a lot.
Off the subject of sleep. I have a 6 month old that I have just started on baby food. Is there any tricks to getting her to open her mouth for the spoon. We have tried everything. Everyone tells us that once we find something she likes she will eat better, but we have tried just spooning breast milk and she is not even intrested in that. We have tried a lot of scenarios. Also, its apparent she isnt liking any of the food and this is a learning process but how long should we make the feedings last because she is disintrested from the get go.
My daughter is one next week,and i always have a problem with her sleeping at night,up 2-3 times,i try to settle her awake but she screams blue murder, then she is so awake that when i go back in to try again,she gives me these big smiles,then is up for 2-3 hours, the only way to get her back to sleep is for me to nurse her, which i know is a bad habit, but what am i to do?? help me please Dana.
ADVICE FOR EVERYONE: We have a 9-months old daughter and we taught her to sleep throught the night when she was 6 m old – cutting out her 2am feed by sending DADDY in instead of the breastfeeding mommy and this worked great for us. first couple of nights she tried to get the feed but when daddy showed up every time, she gave up on it. she still wakes up every now and then when her schedule gets disrupted (visitors, travel, teething) but then it goes back to normal and we never allow any night food, sleeping in our bed or anything else. When she wakes up at night, we sometimes wait up to 20 minutes since she rarely starts REALLy crying – mostly she just wines and “complains” – so DON’T GIVE IN – it will work and both you and your baby will be happier!!! Good luck!
Dear Dana…
My little boy is 9 months old, and I have just started to put him in his crib awake after nursing him. He cries a lot after this. He generally falls asleep in 20 minutes or so, and I keep checking on him within that time. (His sleep time is between 7 and 7:30pm). I try to do the same thing for nap time, but he has such a hard time… One time he cried for 1 hour, and I kept staying with him… I am afraid that if I nurse him to sleep at nap time, it will confuse him… I would love some advise. I have started this sleep routine just a few days ago. I don’t know where it is going! I feel so bad when my little angel cries and cries… Could he be hungry at nap time?
Thank you so much… Kathy
My son is 6 and 1/2 months, I have been trying to teach him to fall asleep on his own for over 3 months but its a constant struggle. He contstantly crys himself to sleep. Sometimes I have to end up picking him up to reassure him and then normally when I put back down its not long after he finally falls asleep… He still doesnt sleep all night and Im extremely lucky if he sleeps 2 hours the whole day?? Is it something Im doing wrong or is just that he has too much energy and hates to sleep??
My 5 month old Viola goes to sleep on her own at around 9 pm. But at night she is speratic. Some nights she wakes up and is starving and will eat anywhere from 5-7 oz., other nights she just eats about 2 oz. We’ve been doing the 5 min and 10 min thing, but either times, she screams and cries the whole time. We feed her rice cereal before bed and then when it gets closer to laying her down she drinks another5 oz. But through the night she is still getting up every 3hrs. Is her age about right to stop the night feedings? Nothing seems to calm her but the bottle, what should I do about that?
Dear Dana
Thank you for your tips for sleeping. My 6 month old little girl goes to bed around 7pm & goes to sleep on her own. She wakes anywhere between 11pm and 3am for a feed. However, she has started waking between 5 and 5:30am. I usually leave her in the cot until at least 6am. But how do I (a) drop the overnight feed and (b) get her sleep past 5am?
Thank you for assistance.
PS. I live in Queensland, Australia & it’s still summer which means the sun rises around 4:30am-ish, so at 5am it’s pretty light.
Hi Donna,
My baby is 6 months old and I breastfeed to sleep. He wakes up about 3 to 4 times a night. How do i get him to sleep on his own and sleep through the night? I have tried patting him to sleep but he just moans and cries. What can i do?
Many thanks
My daughter is almost 9 months old. She is not much of a napper during the day, but the biggest problem comes when it is time to put her down for the night. When I sit in the rocker to read to her, she begins crying. She will stiffen her legs and try to “free” herself. If I hold her tighter, it only makes her worse. Sometimes, she will begin to scream for 5-10 minutes. Even if I put her in her crib and let her cry, she only seems to get more and more agitated. Bedroom is becoming a nightly battle.
Hi Dana,
My son is 91/2 months old and still does not sleep through the night. I give him his bottle around 7:30 pm and he goes to sleep on his own around 8:30 pm. There are some nights he sleeps until 6: 30 in the morning but I always hear him a couple times in the middle of the night. He will soothe himself to sleep sometimes and sometimes he will cry until I go in. Somtimes he is sitting in his crib playing with a stuffed animal and I have to lay him back down give him his pacifier and he usually goes back. Should I not be going in, I don’t know if he can lay back down himself and go back? Am I wrong to give the pacifier? It seems the only way he calms down considering I do give it to him to fall asleep? HELP I AM TIRED!
Hi Dana,
My sweet baby girl is just about to turn 5 months old and is rolling around in her cot, unfortunately she gets stuck against the cot bars and this wakes her up, is their anything you can suggest to stop this from happening or should we just let her figure it out for herself! Thanks.
Hello my name is Samara my daughter Mckenzie is 20mths old. She use to sleep well through the night on her own until 4-5 mths ago she began waking every night at least twice a night starting at one and then again at 3 or 4 in the morning. I would rock her back to sleep and then put her back to sleep then she wake again a few hours later. A month ago i put her in her toddler bed where she stayed the first few nights but now instead of crying to let me know shes awake she come into my room and just wants to get into my bed what am i doing wrong here. She does not like drink in the middle of the night never has not even as a small baby and i don’t want to start that because we are also potty training as well all she does is cry she wont even soother herself back to sleep please help me what should i do.
hi,
i was wondering how many ounces should a 5 months baby be eating (formula) he is still on milk only i will be starting solid food at 6 months. can you give me a feeding schedule and at what time should he go to bed?
thank you.
Hello,
My daughter is 2 1/2 yrs old. She has NEVER slept through the night. I dread bed time. It takes an hour or more to get to go to sleep- I must stay by her side (she is in a toddler bed) until she falls asleep. She wants to do everything but sleep- we have a routine- Brush teeth, Pj’s, read a few books, then she lays down in her bed, and drinks a cup of milk. She tries to get up, and wants to play, read..anything to avoid sleeping. Sometimes I have to do the routine 2-3 a night just to get her to bed. She usually does not fall asleep until 11pm or 12am. Then she wakes 2 times a night for Milk! Some nights she wants to sleep in our bed, and even then it takes forever to get her to bed, and she still wakes several time through out the night. She is a random napper- she can go one day with no nap ,and another day with a 2hr nap. I need help!!! I work full time, and I am so exhausted. I dont know how to get her to sleep. Any advise will help. Please…
Thank you
My 2 year old daughter has always been a great sleeper. she sleeps 11-12 hours a night, until recently. We have a night time routine and she goes to bed by herself with her blanky being her only “crutch”. Lately, about a half hour after I put her to bed she starts getting up out of bed. When I go to put her back in bed she goes back down okay except for the fact that she just starts talking like crazy and has all of this energy. Then she usually gets up 2 or 3 more times after that before she finally stays in bed. I know she is tired and she tells me she is supposed to be in bed, but it’s like she can’t wind down (we do story time and wind down time before she goes to bed). When she finally does go to asleep she tosses and turns all night and talks in her sleep, sometimes even waking herself up. What can I do to get her to wind down and get quality sleep
Hello Dana~
My son is 5 1/2 months old and still wakes up more than twice a night. He falls asleep on his own, singing or turning his head side to side (so sweet) and sometimes will wake and sooth himself back to sleep–especially at nap time. But in the night he can rarely soothe himself — he cries and cries!
In the past, I have kept a journal recording the length of his naps and the amount of formula/food he drinks/eats during the day. He takes two to three naps per day averaging about 4 hours of sleep per day. He gets between 20-25 oz of formula per day along with 2-3 Tbsp of cereal for breakfast, a container of fruit for lunch, 1/2 container of veg and 1/2 container of meat for dinner, and occasionally more cereal just before bedtime. His last feed usually occurs around 7:45pm and he has a nighttime routine of bath or lotion massage, jammies, read a book and is asleep by 8:15 or 8:30pm. He then wakes around 11:30 and I say things like, “Go night, night” or “It’s okay-go night, night with Monkey” and I will gently tap his chest, but with every attempt he gets more and more upset and cries louder, arches his back, kicks his feet and throws a fit, so I usually give in and give him 2 oz of formula ( I use to give him 4 oz) and he goes right to sleep.
Talking to him and gently patting his chest works in getting him back to sleep when he wakes in the early morning hours, but then he doesn’t stay asleep long. If it’s 4am then he’ll wake again at 5am and again at 6am, etc. I’ll do the same thing each time and he will fall asleep only to cry out an hour later sometimes less and it makes for pure exhaustion for me. It’s important to note that Jack sleeps next to our bed in a co-sleeper during the night but in his crib at nap time. Selfishly, I have kept him in our room at night because I seem to get a bit more sleep, which I desperately need, and his night wakings are easier for me to handle from the comfort of my own bed. I realize that I may be contributing to his problem and/or confusing him and I am willing to dig deep and do whatever is necessary to get him in his crib at night and to sleep through the night. Do you think I should feed him when he wakes at 11:30 pm and then not again until morning (6am or later)? If I do feed him at 11:30 should I take him out of his crib and feed him in another location and then put him back in his crib awake? Is he old enough to avoid the 11:30 feeding all together? Can I start putting him in his crib at night and stop the feedings both at the same time or should I stop the feedings first with him in his co-sleeper and then when he is sleeping through the night move him into his crib? Thank you so much for your time and expertise in this matter. Your emails and videos have been very informative. I anxiously await your reply.
Sincerely,
Jill
Dana,
I was wondering if playing soft music to help my 12 month old fall asleep is creating a crutch for her? Is it ok to continue doing this?
Thank you.
My son is 9 months old. He is co-sleeping, which was fine in the beginning, but now it is starting to be more difficult, as Zacharie is getting older, and he is taking much more room in the bed. My husband has mostly reliquished to the couch, which doesn’t do much for our relationship. Also, Zacharie easily wakes from our movements, and when he does, he demands to be fed. Otherwise, he will cry himself awake. I generally give in to his demands, as it simply is easier to give him a little top up than to be awake with him for hours until he calms himself down. Generally, he sleeps in 3 hours increments, waking every 3 hours for a dream feed. We have tried placing him in his bed, but it simply wakes him up and he cries and cries until we bring him back to bed. We have tried to place him in a playpen beside our bed with similar results. Essentially, we have let him continue sleeping in our bed simply because it’s easier than to hear him cry. I should also note that he refuses to take milk from a bottle, so that simply is not an option. The only liquid he will drink from a bottle is water, which is certainly not as satisfying as milk. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
HI Dana,
It’s nice to read other’s comments, it helps to know that I am not the only one!
My scoop is similar to many others. I have a 2 1/2 yr old. I just recently started him on a bed time routine. We brush teeth and either read a book or I display the stars on the cieling and we just talk, but it does take him about 45 minutes or so to fall asleep. That still needs time since we just started this. However, he still wakes up at least once a night crying for me. Since I have a 2month old whom I still nurse and deal with in the middle of the night, I make daddy go in and lay with him. I know its a bad habit, but I can’t have him in my room wiht the baby bc I am trying to get the baby to sleep through the night…which is my next issue. The dr. says he should be sleeping through the night (8pm – 8 am). He just started sleeping at about 5 hour stretches. I made many mistakes with my 2 year old when he was an infant and I want to make sure I get them both sleeping well. I want to eliminate night time feedings and I want time at night with the hubby and I want to feel comfortable with babysitters knowing my kids won’t be a nightmare for them. One other hurdle is that the boys will be sharing a room. I am going back to work in 2 weeks and my goal is to get them to both sleep through the night in their own beds so I can get some peaceful rest myself. How do I do it!?!? What kind of schedule would be good for the infant during the day as far as feeding and napping goes in order to achieve this? What kind of night time routines can I practice to keep my sanity!?!?! Any tips would be helpful!!!
Hunter is now 16months and still not sleeping thru the night. He wakes up screaming three to four times. My daughter and son in law get no sleep!!
He goes to bed at night around 8:30. He no longer has a bottle. He takes 1-2 naps during the day for around an hour and half.
Please help!
Hi Dana,
My son Finlay has just turned one, last week and never sleeps the whole night through. I’m a single mum and went back to full time work 4 months ago – and I know I’ve created some of the bad habits as he now sleeps in with me. This is purely because when he used to go down in his cot at 7pm every night – and fall asleep unaided, he would guarentee wake several times after 1am. He whinges & cry’s. Howvere even when he sleeps in with me, he still whinges and crys out after 1 am for ages in to the night. he eats more than enough and has more than a sufficent ammount of milk. he does have a soother but he can sleep sometimes without it. I’ve tried the sleeping on the floor next to his cot but he will not have any of it. i keep getting told by older peers to let him cry it out for 3 nights but I physically cannot do that as he is such a loud screamer.
Please can you advise.
Hi Dana, with your help Ayla is now in a great routine, but at 7 months she still wakes up after 8 hrs of sleep and she has a bottle before she will sleep again. Is that normal? Also we are going on holiday soon and I don’t know how not to disturb her routine but there is three and a half hour time difference, they are ahead of us! Pleeeeease let me know as we are going in early March…. THANK U SOOOO MUCH….
HELLO DANA ITS STILL ME DIANDRA SHAZNEYS MUMMY THIS IS THE 8 COMMENT I LEFT YOU.CAN YOU PLS HELP ME”’????MY DAUGHTER IS NOW 14MONTHS SHE STILL WALES UP 6 TIMES A NIGHT SHE ONLY SLEEPS FOR 2 HOURS THAN SHE WAKES UP AND CRIES AND CRIES WE MAKE HALF AN HOUR TO PUT HER BACK TO SLEEP BUT AGAIN AFTER 2 HOURS SAME THING.SHE TOOH HER LAST BOTTLE AT 9.00PM ,WE TRIED TO PUT HER TO SLEEP ERLIER BUT AT NIGHT ITS WORSE!WHAT CAN I DO ?IM VERRY TIYERD EVEN HER FATHER I WOULD LIKE SOME ADVISE FROM YOU PLS CAN YOU PLS SEND ME AT CACHIA.DIANDRA58@GMAIL.COM PLS HELP ME
I have an 11month old son that I have to say sleeps twice during the day but… only in his pram. At night I have to give him his milk and rock him in his pram to sleep then transfer him to his bed. If he wakes up during the transfer I have to put him back into his pram rock him and try again later. This is getting tiring. I just want him to drink his milk in bed and fall asleep. What am I doing wrong?
my daughter millie is 12mths old and i have to rock her to sleep then put her down in cot she will wake in the night around 2ish and crys and crys untill i put her in my bed then she will sleep untill morning which is no good as we get no sleep please help
My 8 month old, Lily, is an angel who sleeps very well through the night. However we just can’t get her to go to sleep by herself. She inevitably falls asleep during her last feed, and I have tried waking her to put her to bed, but she becomes completely hysterical. Similarly if Dad tries to put her to bed (at night) she becomes absolutely inconsolable. We have tried leaving her to cry but she just works herself into a total state which then takes hours to overcome (literally she will then only fall asleep after 11). Everyone says to put her down in a drowsy state but she doesn’t seem to have such a state – she is either fast asleep or wide awake. Is it really so bad to let her fall asleep feeding? Please help!
My 4 month old son is generally a good sleeper at home in his cot. However, he will not sleep in his pram at all, or anywhere else for that matter, and ends up becoming overtired and screaming. I have tried giving him the same comforter he has while in the cot at home, and have also tried covering the pram and removing toys to eliminate any stimulation. It’s getting to the point where I’m reluctant to leave the house! He sleeps great in the car seat, but no matter how gently I take him out, he becomes wide awake in the pram and won’t resettle. Please give me some suggestions!
My son Will is 7 months old and I am having a terrible time getting him to fall asleep on his own. He is also waking several times throughout the night and not being able to self soothe. I have tried to let him “cry it out” but that is simply not working. He will cry forever it seems and even after you get him out of his crib the crying continues sometimes up to 30 minutes. I am desperate to teach my son how to do this on his own and need to in order to get the sleep that we both deserve. Please help.
Hello-
My son is 14 months and never was able to sooth himself to sleep. I have tried music in his room and the crying method but then he started to scream and shake real bad if I let it go to long, And that was the 10 min. trial. So hate to admit it but I hold him while he goes to sleep. We do have a bed time routine and he understands nighty,night!! For two or three months he slept all night long.Then slowly it started to change when I haven’t changed anything. And well here we are he waking up two-three times a night. And can’t sooth himself back to sleep. Very seldom he can fall back to sleep. Just the past two nights he slept 12 hrs. straight. Yeah…It is hit or miss. Anyways how can I start him falling asleep on his own and sleep through the night. Naps are ran the same way. I know I have to change that some how. His naps change day by day. One day its two one hour naps the next day is one 90min nap. I try to stay on a schedule…but it doesn’t work out for me all the time. Please help!!
My daughter is 9 and a half months old…..she goes to bed at 9 pm but wakes up at least twice during the night. She stands up in her cot and starts crying until we come and lift her up. She does not know how to o back to bed on her own and we have to pat her back to sleep. Sometimes it takes as long as an hour. How can I make her sleep through the night as well as teach her to go back to sleep on her own?
My daughter is 3 months old. We put her to sleep every night around 8:30 and she did great for about a week and is now having a hard time and crying again. We do give her a pacifier when she goes to sleep because she likes sucking on her hands and even though I know this is a good way to soothe herself back to sleep, I don’t want her to suck her fingers. (I graduated with a girl who still sucked hers). Not sure what I should do. Allow her to suck on her fingers (which hasn’t really helped her to fall back asleep) or use the pacifier.
My son is 8 months old and he still does not sleep through the night. I saw your blog on the soother and that is him to a T. He wakes up several times through the night ( like every hour or two) I can go into his room after waiting a few minutes put the soother back in his mouth and he will go back to sleep. But now that i have took it away and are trying to break him of it he will wake up maybe once or twice now and throws a temper tantrum because i won`t give it to him. He screams franticlly for about an hour or more. He has a favorite stuffed animal that he sleeps with and a favorite blanket in his crib. He also is on a really good bedtime routine.. He has a bath at 7:30 bedtime snack of cereal at around 8ish and bed between 8:30pm and 9:00. He is sleeping in his own crib. He naps twice a day once after breakfast around 10:30am for about an hour to an hour and again in the afternoon around 2:30pm for about an hour to an hour and a half. I really don`t know what else to do.Please teach me to teach him to sooth himself so he can begin to get the rest he needs. If you have any advice please help me. We are willing to try anything!
I have a similar question to some of those I read above. My daughter is almost 6 months old. She goes to sleep pretty well at 7:30, and she seems to put herself back to sleep sometimes throughout the night. However, I usually have to feed her twice during the night (once around midnight or 1:00 and once between 3:00 and 4:00). Then she usually wakes up for the day around 7:00. Should a six-month-old be able to sleep through the night without a feeding? Should I be able to cut back on at least one of the feedings?
My almost 3 year old grandson has lived with us since he was born. His mother has been out of the house for 2 years, and she comes to visit for a few hours about every other day. He won’t sleep in his twin bed in his room. He sleeps with grandpa and me every night. He wants to rock to sleep, and when he falls asleep we put him in his bed. About 2 hours later he runs down the hall, and gets in bed with us every night. We are not getting any sleep, but don’t want to have a big fit in the middle of the night. He can throw some terrible fits, and grandma and grandpa are to old to fight it every night. We thought he would outgrow it but we are beginning to wonder if we will ever get any rest! Help, is there any thing we can do that will help without a constant battle every night?
Thanks,
Sherri
I have purchased your book and about to embark on the sleeping program. I have a 16 week old baby girl who had severe colic.
As a result of her colic, she was up sometimes over 20 times a night in pain from week 3 through to week 11. As she was in pain, I had to feed her and rock her back to sleep. Even though the colic has gone, she now wakes frequently expecting the same treatment.
She goes to sleep at the moment by herself but with the aid of a dummy and a mobile.
After reading your book I now realise that I need to get rid of both the dummy and the mobile. My question is, she often poops at night, as often as three or four times! What do I do in this situation. I have to get her out of bed to change her nappy etc so is it a good idea to start sleep training now when she is pooping so much?
Two very sleep deprived Kiwi’s need your help!!!!
my 11 month old does not fall asleep without a bottle for his naps or at night time. he usually wakes up once , sometimes twice through the night and he almost always wants a bottle to help him fall back asleep. how can i get him to learn how to soothe himmself to sleep?
Hi Dana i have a problem with Makenna falling asleep alone now that she learned to climb out of her crib.I sit in her room in a chair until she is sleeping if I leave before she is asleep she freaks out and pulls a fit . Now she is 22 months and she is in a toddler bed and I still have to sit in her room,and she also wakes up in the middle of the night and comes in my room one to two times a night. Since I had another child 5 weeks ago sleep is very important. How can I get a good night sleep and have her fall asleep alone and stay asleep all night.
My daughter will be turning 2 tomorrow and she still does not sleep on her own. I am still nursing her at night, and usually nurse her to sleep. And that time is usually 9 or 10 pm. and sometimes that is if I take her unto our bed and nurse her to sleep in bed. I get a half night sleep out of her but around 2 – 3 am she wakes up, nurses if she’s in bed and falls back asleep, then I have to wake her up to get rady for the day. Every once in a while she’ll stay asleep in her bed, and more infrequently stay asleep all night. I want to wean her off nursing and out of my bed. Help!
hi,
my son is 11 month, he will be 12 month on 1st march, but still he awake twice at night to drink milk. we feed cereal at 10:30pm before he go to bed. he is too active he like to play even he go to bed at 12:00 pm sometime as he get tired he sleep in middle at 9:30pm so i try not to sleep but he cry to sleep. that make him to wake late and wake at midnight. he even getup at 6:00 am in morning we give him cereal and milk after i give him bath around 8:00am. please help me how i make him to sleep whole night constantly, i know he should i tried.
My three month old Sofia has recently started fighting her naps and her bedtime. Prior to about three days ago she was sleeping for five to six hours a night and waking only once to feed. Now she is waking every two hours and crying like her life depends on it. I try not to feed her–she is thirteen pounds–and thriving and clearly doesn’t need it. I have even taken her to the doctor twice just to make sure it wasn’t an illness (she did have pinkeye recently). I try not to let her fall asleep on the breast but she does frequently and then when I put her in her crib she wakes up and starts rooting. Last night I let her cry for a 1/2 an hour–I was so exhausted. I feel held hostage from 7:30-9:30! ALl My three year old doesn’t see me anymore after 7:00pm!
I am having the same problem as Gloria and Molly above.
My 4 month old daughter seems to be doing well. We have a great bedtime routine in place (consisting of dinner (some pablum), bath and then bottle) and she goes to sleep on her own no problem! But usually somewhere between 12am and 2 am she is up for a feeding. She’ll polish of a 6 ounce bottle in no time flat and put herself back to sleep almost as soon as her head hits the mattress. Is it too early to be trying to cut this feeding out? She acts as if she needs the bottle still but other mom’s tell me how their kids were sleeping through at 3 months. Any advice would be great!
My son is 5 months old. When he is not having a gassy day, he sleeps pretty well through the night. He goes to sleep on his own by about 8pm and sleeps usually til 4am. He can’t seem to pacify himself at this point, but if I take him out and sing his nighttime song, he calms down enough that when I put him back down, he goes to sleep til about 6:30. While I wish he’d sleep through til 6am completely, that’s not my biggest issue.
We seem to have gotten stuck with several crutches in the nighttime routine. First is swaddling. He will not sleep unless swaddled. We’ve tried letting him cry it out for hours and he still refuses. Once we give in and swaddle him, he goes right to sleep. We assume he’ll grow out of it at some point, but I don’t like feeling like I have to rely on it currently. What’s weird, is that he doesn’t even have to be swaddled tightly, but if the blanket doesn’t surround his arms, he wails and flings his arms all about and wil not sleep.
Next is the pacifier. He doens’t use it at all during the day. And most of the time, it’s a toy more than anything. I’d have half the time he falls asleep just holding it in his hand, and the other half, we won’t fall asleep without it. I wonder if that’s maybe what he wants during those 4am wakings.
And lastly, we are living in a very dry wintry area so we keep a humidifier going every night so he breathes easier. I’m worried that he’s getting attached to the noise. If we put the humidifier on a setting that automatically turns it off when the desired humidity is reached, Easton will wake up because the noise is gone.
What’s the best way to break him of these crutches? Please help!
My son Amil is going to be 14 months on Feb 19th and he gets up 3 times in the night and cannot go bak to sleep on his own. He hates the crib likes to sleep in the middle I put him in thecrib he wants to be in between the two of us. He get sup at 12:30 then 2:30 and 5:00 and he needs milk.
I try giving him an empty bottle for the 2:30 feed sometime it works some days no.
It is becoming hard and I am expecting my second child in August. I really need to train him before that.
Hi Dana, my 1 year old boy naps twice between 20-30 minutes everyday. I have started nursing him to nap as it does not seem to make a difference whether I do the routine thing or not, infact sometimes he sleeps longer this way. I have tries several methods to make him sleep longer but it does not work, even when he cries to sleep he will still wake up the same time. Is there anything I can do to make him to sleep longer? At night times he sleeps through the night and puts him self to sleep.
Over the last couple of nights I have tried to take more notice of the day time routines and put Sonny (10 weeks old) to bed between 6 & 7. Sonny wakes about 10.30 I give him a feed and have tried the crying tecnique through the night. Last night he woke 1.45am until 3.45am then woke again 4.30am really sucking on his fist I thought he was hungry so I gave in and fed him – he lasted 5 mins before falling asleep. Do you think 10 weeks is too early to go from 10.30-7am as he’s a hungry boy and nearly doubled in weight already. Please can you advise as normally Sonny waking every 2/3 hours – exhuasted……….
Hi
We have a 4 mth old little girl who is sleeping through the night, with the help of a soother. She goes to sleep awake in her cot but always with her soother, sometimes she wakes around 4am I give her the soother and she goes staright back to sleep til about 7am, other times she sleeps all the way throught o 7am. What advice do you have for doing away with the soother at some point…..thanks.
Hi Dana,
Our daughter is 21 months and has been sick off and on for most of her life. She has acid reflux, had tubes placed in her ears when she was 14 months, and has had sinus infections off and on. Our newest adventure was a 4 day stay in the hospital for the flu (or so they say it was), she is now sick again and they are unsure what is going on. All that aside it seems as if everytime we get her on a semi-good sleep pattern she gets sick again. She does not fall asleep on her own she lays in bed with me, sometimes she nurses and some times she will take a warm sippy cup of milk. On an average night she will wake up atleast twice. Sometimes it is to nurse and others it is just to make sure that we are there. She has been through alot in 21 months! Is there anything that my husband and I can do to help her sleep better? We both work full time and do not like the idea of cry it out. Any suggestions?
Hi,
Should 8 months old baby be fed during nights?
Our 2 year 8 month old still wakes in the night, he goes to bed every night at 7.30pm it can’t be any earlier due to our work days, we have the same routine milk, wash and clean teeth, one story book only then tucked into bed and goes off to sleep by himself no problem. More often than not he will wake again around 9.30/10.00pm, either one of us will go in to settle him, by tucking him back in and leaving and he tends to settle himself back to sleep, he then wakes again around 12.00pm and refuses to settle. I am 7 months pregnant at the moment and it has just been getting too much getting up for him all the time. We did get into a habit of letting him into our bed just to get any sleep at all – now I am much bigger this was getting ridiculous so we invested in a ready bed that we put on the floor, explained to him that as much as its lovely having him in our bed he’s a big boy now and needs to stay in his own, if at anytime he comes into our bedroom he would have to sleep in the bed on the floor, we had read somewhere that this would be a good transition and that he would soon realise it was better in his own bed. Well he took to the ready bed very well but he doesn’t seem to think its better in his own bed in his bedroom – he still wakes up at least once during the time he is in this bed aswell around 2/3am and will always wake around 6am if not before that. As parents we like to go to bed around 10ish on work days so to be woken at 12am and 2am really unsettles my sleep especially as I then feel the baby moving and can’t get back to sleep do you have any suggestions?
My son will be 1 year old in two days. He has been really sick since he was three months old. Two surgeries, and lots of sleepless nights. Since he’s been sick so much, dh and I ended rocking him every night all night. He is starting to get better but as i’m sure you can guess, he doesn’t know how to soothe himself to sleep. We have tried to put him to bed groggy but awake, and sometimes he can “sing” himself to sleep. But mostly after around 30 minutes to an hour of the
‘singing” he gets frustrated and begins screaming, throwing whatevers close until I come in there. I tried sitting in there with him but he screams over and over again until I pick him up. Im a full time mom of two with little help from dh who works nights and im exhausted. I need help!
Thank you, Dana, for your helpful suggestions. Jared is doing much better, the crying period when put to bed is shorter, but, because he is still at times being nursed by his mother until he falls asleep and then is put to bed sleeping, I , the grandmother, don’t have the results when he is staying at my house. I realize, unless we are all consistent in our actions, we will not get the results that you describe.
My son was 2 at beginning of February. He had never been a good sleeper since birth, but we did the sleepsense program (Option A) at beginning of January and it worked a treat – he now goes to bed no problem and sleeps through. However after 3 weeks, he started waking and coming into our room again around 4am wouldnt go back to sleep again. We let this go for about a week and moved him back to the cot. This worked for another week, and now he is back to waking at 4 or 5 am and will not go back to sleep. We leave him crying for 10 mins, then go in. Then 15, then 20. But its got to the stage now where he is just crying non-stop from the time he wakes up until we all get up. I have a 5 month old, and he is now being woken by the crying too – and he had fab sleeping habits so I am nervous now his patterns will be disturbed by the toddler!
The 2 yr old goes down to sleep awake. He also has a sleep around 1pm for about an hour.
Any and all advice welcome…..
Kind regards
Roisin
My problem sems similar to many of the others here…. my 4.5 month old daughter fights napping during the day and gets really exhausted and wired. Bedtime routine is great- shes in bed and asleep by 7-730pm- usually my boyfriend sits by her cot until she goes off. Then she wakes at 11pm and 3am for feeds and then goes back off to sleep. During the day, no matter what I do or how she goes to sleep (on her own or rocked till she is a bit sleepy) she wakes up within 20 minutes and is inconsolable. I’ve tried ‘check and console’ method, ‘let cry’ method, going to her cot after 15 minutes to try and lull her back to sleep the minute she stirs, getting her up and trying again later …everything, and all with the same result- failure to sleep. Help, she’s exhausted, I’m exhausted and out of ideas!
My son was born 2 months early. When it comes to bedtime routines and sleep expectations, do I treat him as a 9 month old, or his corrected age?
My question is so similiar to many of the other mothers. My daughter is 5 months old and usually will only sleep during her naps in your arms. I will try to put her down, with music and she only lasts around 20 minutes sometimes an hour. She still will not go to bed until after 9:30 pm….and wakes 2-3 times during the night. I do nurse, but she gets a bottle of formula after bath time. I would really like her to nap, and get to bed at a decent hour and sleep through the night.
My 17 month old Haley still wakes up once every night. She is taking one nap each day for about an hour and a half at 2:00 p.m. She goes to bed each night at 6:45 p.m. with a bottle and is usually asleep by 7:00 p.m. but wakes up between 12:30 – 1:30 a.m. almost every night for a diaper change and another bottle and then will sometimes go back to sleep but other times want to eat. After going back to sleep (which sometimes takes a couple of hours) she awakes at 7:00 a.m. My concern is that since she is a very finnicky eater and doesn’t eat much during the day…. that she is not getting properly nourished. And… meanwhile, my husband… 5 years old and I are not getting enough sleep… and either is she for that matter. Help!!!
I have a 7mnth old and she sleeps until 9am every night straight. She takes 2-3 naps during the day: 1030am, (sometimes 130pm depending if i take her to her afternoon pr ogram or not), and 430pm. Each nap lasts 1.5hrs long. My problem is that she will not go to bed until midnight! We feed her dinner at 6pm (bf, then vegtables), bath at 830pm, bf at 9pm, and formula at midnight. She used to sleep @930pm no problem before, but for the past month, when we put her in her crib after the 9pm feeding, she will just cry hysterically; and she can cry all night long if no one picks her up. Whe she is finally picked up, all she wants to do is play. I dont know what to do, she used to be such a good sleeper. pls. help.
Hi please help, I have used your wesbite before and have found it very helpful. From 7 months my son started sleeping 12 hours straight through the night, then gradually by the time he was 10 months he was waking between 2 or 3 times. Now at 13 months old he is waking every single hour of the night, on the hour. I used to be able to leave him in the dark with the door closed (just a night light on) and he fell asleep himslef. In the morning he would wake and play by himself for about 20mins. It has turned into a clomplete nightmare as my husband and I both work and are terrible exhusted. He has become extreamly clingy (where before he wasn’t at all) He cries if I leave the room and we have to now stay by his bed until he falls asleep. I have resorted to putting him into our bed most nights in the middle of the night as I’m too tired to wait for him to fall asleep (i have to stay by his side or get a screaming fit) As soon as he is in our bed he’s out like a light. Nothing has changed in our circumstances but I did have an operation recently and couldnt walk much or lift him for 2 weeks so we both stayed at my mums. He is very happy there with my family but during that time I couldnt do much with him. He’s not a big eater and I struggle to get him to eat 3 meals a day though he snacks on our food and enjoys his milk. He also enjoys 3 hours nap during the day, without any waking, but its still the same now where I have to stay by his side until he falls asleep. I dont understand why he sleeps fine in the afternoon but not during the night. I would really really apprecaite any advice you could give.
Many thanks
My 7 mon old is similar to others described in your letters. At 3 mon she slept 10- 5 consistently. I returned to work and she began waking 2-3 times /night. Now it’s better but she does not stay asleep from 9 – 11 pm. She will cry and fall back asleep when I reassure her most of the time. At least once though she will cry more w/ more volume ( and the sound is “Ma Ma Mamamama” ) with actual tears but immediately stops when picked up. If put back down after brief soothing, she will quickly wake up and go through all of this again until nursed. I was planning on weaning her soon, but this makes it hard to do. I feel like she needs the comfort and I don’t know what to do if this continues because she may not take a bottle then. It breaks my heart to hear her get so upset. She is my second baby, my first slept great and weaned himself.
hi there, my son finley is 18 weeks old now and has a really great bedtime routine bath at 7-30 bottle at 8 then straight into bed awake, he does need a soother to go to sleep but spits it out pretty quick once asleep. he sleeps until 2-3 am then wakes wanting his soother ive tried leaving him for 10 mins and sometimes he will go back to sleep but only for about 30 mins to 1 hour then im up all the time putting his soother back!!!!! i want to get rid of the soother but dont know how what do i do please help im exhausted!!!!!!!
HI Dana,
My daughter will be 11 months old in about 2 wks. I’ve done everything that you’re not supposed to do with your baby. For starter, she has always and still is in my bed (daddy sleeps on the couch because she’s not willing to give up her spot in mommy’s bed). She’s getting fed throughout the night whenever she wakes and lastly she not going to bed until 1030-12am. I’ve trying to establish a schedule but with my husband and I both working full-time and her being with my aunt (baby-sitter) 3x/wk it’s also very hard to do. I say establishing a schedule is probably most hardest task because I feel like I do not get to spend as much time with my daughter as I would like therefore she’s up until 9:30-10pm playing with mommy and after that I’m trying to put her down for the night and daddy comes home and feels the same way and want to play with her and before you it it’s midnight. Whereas on daddy’s days off (2 days/wk) I’m trying to put her to sleep at 9:30pm so mommy and daddy can have some QT and she’s not having it. I attempted the “putting yourself to sleep method” but within the fourth night I gave up so now I’m back to rocking her to sleep. Like most mom, I find it extremely difficult to allow my child to cry so she only scream for 5 sec. or your rule is 5-10mins. I need some assistance with how help my soon-to-be 11 months old fall asleep on her own and how to develop a schedule.
hi dana…..
i have a 10 1/2 month old son…..and he suffers from eczyma…..i am trying to get him to sleep thru the night but in vain
His routine is as follows…..he has a good and filling dinner at 7 30 pm …then a feed of soya milk as he is allergic to sma etc etc….at 8 15pm..then a bath at 8 30pm….then he has a bath at 8 30pm ..then he is in his cot at 845 pm or latest at 9 00pm……..I have to pat him till he falls asleep…..he then wakes up at 11 30pm …and i have to again pat him to sleep……he then wakes up at 1 00am…and wont stop crying till i take him to bed next to me…and he then wakes up at 7 30am for his feed/breakfast….
all this makes me really tired and also a ain on my marriage as my husband cant sleep in the same bed as me and my baby due to the lack of space…….
the reason i give in to my baby and take him into my bed is because he starts itching himself etc and that i cant bear to see him do
please help me…what do i need to do to get him to sleep thru the night????
my lil girl is 9 months old,she has a bottle at 8 then i lay her down and she goes to sleep on her own she has never been a big drinker she will only take 4oz feeds,she will go through to 2am and then wakes for feeding again she eats 3 full meals a day so is she getting enough food to sleep all night or is she still not getting enough as she only has 4oz feeds,i want to get her to sleep through the night help!!
My little boy is 9 weeks old and once he falls asleep at night he will usually sleep about 6-7 hours however the trouble is getting him to sleep at night. He is fine with his naps through the day but he will have a good few hours crying on an evening and if I try to put him to bed anytime before about 11pm he just cries and cries (I have to give him a bottle at 11pm to calm him down before I can put him in his moses basket).
My 16 month old daughter stills sleeps with me in my bed. I give her a bath & put her in her playpen & she will fall asleep on her own. When I bring her to my room I want to put her in her crib but am afraid if I do she will wake up & not go back to sleep so it’s just easier to put her with me. What should I do? Please help!
I know you deal with mostly infantile sleep problems, but my husband, our other daughter and I are truly sleep deprived. We have a 3 yr old daughter who was diagnosed with eczema when she was 4mths old. She did not start scratching until after she was 1 yr old. Then she started waking up three and four times a night. Their bed time is 8pm. She would wake up literally every two hours until about 4am and going into a dead sleep. But each time she wakes she says she is itching. Now she just turned 3 and we believe it is either habit or she just doesn’t know how to sleep because she is used to living on a limited number of hours. Which really bothers me because my baby needs more sleep. We’ve tried cutting her nap time in the day, letting her stay up longer(that makes it worse), we’ve discplined (time out)her for it because she doesn’t scratch until time for bed. Sometimes when we give her timeout she will go back to bed and sleep the rest of the night. We’ve tried letting her sleep with us, she falls alseep but as soon as we put her in her bed, she will wake up at least once, maybe more. We have put socks on her hands and feet. We have a cool mist humdifier, allergy free mattress and pillow covers. I use 100% cotton sheets and blankets. We really believe now she is playing us a lot of the time. I know she itches some of the time too, because I have eczema and know what she is feeling, but not all the time. I know this is not your normal sleep questions, but any advice would be appreciated. Thank you
Hi dana,
My son is 5 months and he’s not sleeping through the night.He takes a bottle at 9:30/10 pm goes to sleep and then wakes several times during the night. Lately , he’s been waking up at 11:30 and again at around 3 am.He wakes and I try to just give him the paci but thats not enough.He starts screaming like he’s starving.Do I try to push through or am I really starving him?After that feeding , he sleeps until about 6 or 7am.He usually takes a 1 or 2 hour nap after breakfast and then maybe another later on…Also, how can i change his bedtimefrom 10 pm to 7 or 8 pm ?
my 5 month old baby girl wakes up every 2 hours throughout the night and cries for her bottle- i was breastfeeding her until recently but now she only wants the bottle-If I pick her up right away and give her the bottle,she drinks it with her eyes closed-about 4-6oz.-and goes back to sleep in her crip- I tried not to feed her every 2 hours ,but she cries and cries-I am totally exhausted and do not know what to do- thank you for your advise!
Hi Dana,
My son just turned six months old. He goes to sleep by himself for naps and sleeps anywhere from 1 – 2 hours. And for bedtime he goes to sleep at first by himself as well. My problem is that he wakes up all throughout the night at various times. I have taken him into my bed and nursed him back to sleep. Sometimes when he wakes and I offer my breast he doesn’t want it but fusses until I touch him. I’m confused about what he wants and what I should do. I just started him on solids but it is not firmly established yet so the majority of his food is breastmilk. Is he hungry? Last night I waited to go into his room and let him fuss but it turned into an all out cry. I’m just not sure what to do and would love some advice. Thank you!
Nancy
my 2 year old little girl has been getting better, now only waking to go to the loo, then usually straight back to bed, but my little boy who is 3, he has a mild form of cerebral palsy, but has been quite a good sleeper, it’s just that when he wakes up during the night, he usually SCREAMS for me, then i need to go in and sooth him back to sleep. this isn’t too bad, but how can i reassure him that i am only in the next room so that he doesn’t wake the whole neighbourhood up!?!?
Hello Dana,
My son Jacob is 4 1/2 months old. And is a fairly good night sleeper. However he is not a good napper. I can never get him to take more than 1/2 hr maybe twice a day. His bed time is 7pm and he is exhausted and stressed by 6:30. I want him to be a healthy sleeper. How can I get him to take at least 1 good nap preferably in the afternoon.
My 3 1/2 month old is the same story as the previous post from Gloria. When she wakes for the middle of the night feed between 3:00/4:00 she is really hungry and finishes her bottle very quickly, she also goes right back to sleep. However, my question is, is she even ready at 3/4 months to sleep through the night? And doesn’t she need that bottle? How do you know when they are ready to skip that feeding? I don’t want her to starve, she seems to really need it. Thank you for any insight.
I have been trying the steps that you have suggested for my 10mnth old and he still wakes up around 3-4 in the morning and sometimes I can get him back to sleep and sometimes he doesn’t go back to sleep for about an hour. He is being really stubborn !!!! Is there anything else I can do???
Hi Dana
Thank you for sending through the blogs, it’s always reassuring to discover you’re not alone! I feel a bit embarrassed to admit this but my son was 3 in December and still not sleeping through the night all of the time. He regularly wakes once or twice in the night.
He goes to bed between 7.30- 8.00pm and is always wide awake between 6.00 – 6.30am.
I’ve tried leaving him to cry but he ends up working himself into such a state, he gets really hot and bothered and sometimes starts choking! I admit I also find it really hard to leave him crying, particularly as I am working full time.
I do go into him, and I simply say it’s still bedtime, tuck him in again and he goes straight back to sleep, so it’s not as though he is crying for any length of time. But the constant interrupted nights are starting to get to me.
Am I being foolish by constantly going into him?
Arlene x
my 4 mth olds go to bed at 7pm then get up at 11pm-3am and 730am… how do i drop the 3am feeding.. i think its harsh to let him cry in out at this age. When he wakes he eats 6oz and goes right to sleep.. I hear him wake up at other times and goes right back to sleep ( so i think he is self soothing himself) I hear so many moms say their 4 mth old sleep thru the night I have no idea how to do it…
Kellen’s story sounds just like ours, except our son is only 5 months old. I wonder at what age we should start withholding the 2am feeding?
at 8 weeks old we stopped our night feeds with our son. We ignored his cries for 2 nights, and he started sleeping through until 6.30-7 am. Only grizzling for his dummy sometimes.
Our daughter is nearly two years old and, because she has fallen out of her cot (in anger) a few times, we have decided for her to sleep in a cot bed.
This is fine as she enjoys her bedtime routine (bath, feed, books and then bed at 7.30 p.m – she goes down perfectly) but always wakes at 1 a.m the following morning! She screams & cries & shakes the stairgate – we have tried gentle comforting & talking, no eye contact & no talking, wait 5 minutes then 10 etc…but to no avail.
She is now throwing all the books and anything else in the room over the stairgate!
We have stuck to a routine that, come 6 a.m and not before, she is allowed to come into our room…maybe this is what she wants at 1 o’clock in the morning? Any help to get past the very early morning wake up call gratefully received
I have a 9 month old who goes to sleep around 7pm. She will wake up around 12 for a feed and this sends her to sleep, I cannot keep her awake after this so i put her back in the crib until around 4am she gets up numerous times wanting to get into our bed. She will fight sleeping even though she is still really tired, and the only thing to get her to sleep til morning is by putting her in bed with me. Iv tried just leaving her to cry but she doesnt stop even though i always leave it ten minutes and sometimes longer. Please help me get some sleep! Thankyou x
Dana,
My 7 week old son fights his naps really bad. We have a great nighttime routine and he does very well with it only waking once a night. I put him to bed around 8:30-9:00 PM and he then sleeps til 6AM only waking at 2AM for a bottle. The problem is, he just won’t take naps during the day and ends up fussy in the afternoon and evening. I know he is sleepy because he can’t hardly keep his eyes open when in his bouncy seat or swing. He may drfit off and 5 minutes later, he is wide awake. Also, at night, I lay him down while he is awake and let him put himself to sleep. I do this at the 2AM feeding as well. I usually have no problems there. Can’t do this during the day. Please help me get my son to rest during the day so he can be a happier baby.
My one month old Sarah does not nap at all during the day. She does sleep at night 11pm – 3am, feeding then 4am – 6am, feeding, 7am-10am.
but during the day, she is wired. She does show signs of tiredness (yawns, pulls on ears, rubs eyes, drowsy eyes) – but she constantly fights the sleep. Stroller rides and car rides help….but is there a way to get her to nap (and at what times?!?) without the use of motion? Desperate to see this little one nap
My daughter is 2 1/2 years old and still wakes frequently througthe the night. She goes to bed no problem around 7pm and is happy to go to sleep as long as I am sitting next to her bed (there is no physical contact once lights out). However she will start waking anytime between 9.30 and 11pm and refuses to go back to her own bed. My husband and I both work full time and started taking her into our bed and the situation is just getting worse. Any advise would be much appreciated.