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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
Who’s calling the shots when it comes to bedtime in your house – you or your toddler? Have the boundaries been pushed to the point where your little one is now running the show?
This week’s questions comes from Trisha, who asks:
“My two-year-old Alex is not sleeping at all… at least that’s how it feels! He wakes up at 6 a.m., takes a nap from around 11:00 to 1:00 and then he’s up until 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. He starts whining around 7:00 so I know he’s tired, but his previous routine just doesn’t work anymore.
He wants to be down with us in the living room and he’ll scream and cry until he gets his way. I can’t let him cry or he’ll wake up his little sister in the next room. When he finally falls asleep on the sofa, we transfer him to his bed. Then he wakes again around 2 a.m. and will not go back to sleep unless I go and sleep with him. How do I fix this — and do I need to cut out his nap?”
Trisha, I don’t think the nap is the problem; it’s the least of your worries! For now, let’s forget about the nap.
It sounds to me like the boundaries were pushed, then shifted, then pushed and shifted a little more, to the point where Alex is now sort of “running the show.” With a toddler, it’s tough, and it can feel like you’re living with a “little dictator.” You really have to be cautious about boundary pushing.
It’s interesting the way toddlers do it. They don’t push too hard at first, more like just little tiny bits. One night he asks for an extra story and you say “Okay.” The next night it’s an extra drink of water and again you say “Okay.” And maybe then he asks to sleep with an extra stuffed friend and of course you say “Okay.” And so the boundaries start to shift.
Of course toddlers are so irresistible and they keep pushing and pushing and pushing to see where the boundaries lie. At this point, it doesn’t sound like he’s found where the boundaries lie at all. He pushed, you gave in. He pushed again and you gave in again and now he stays up way too late and falls asleep wherever he wants around the house. Where are the boundaries?
You’re afraid that Alex’s fussing would wake up his little sister and that’s a common fear. Many parents with more than one child worry that if you go back to strict boundaries, making things very clear, very black and white for your toddler, that this will involve some crying that might wake up their siblings. The truth of the matter is yes, that will probably happen. Alex is going to wake up his sister, but most likely for just a few days. Soon they’ll both be back to sleeping well again.
At this point, you’re stuck in this cycle. Also, he’s the boss and you’re not. This is going to go on and on until the cycle is broken. Alex is not going to decide one day out of the blue to start sleeping well and going to bed at a decent time. Alex’s mom needs to decide that. A firm bedtime routine is the place to start.
Even if he’s napping during the day, begin the new bedtime routine at 7:00 each evening. A routine I like is a bath at 7:00 for ten minutes, get on pajamas, brush his teeth, read him two stories and then into bed.
You’ve got to be very clear about the boundaries, even the story time boundaries. In my house, it’s been a two story rule since the day they were born. Occasionally they try to push it, but my answer is always no, it’s only two stories. Again, be very clear and have very clear boundaries.
After the stories, it’s time to go into the crib. (Trisha doesn’t say, but I’m assuming Alex is still in a crib, which he should be. That’s a good thing.) Now I’d suggest trying something that is probably different from what you’ve done before, and that is for you or your husband to stay in the room with Alex after he’s in the crib. Bring a chair, sit by the door and say something like “It’s sleepy time Alex” or “It’s nighty-night now.”
Doing that might keep the crying to a minimum and lessen the intense screaming. Or it might not. He may cry even harder when you’re sitting there and not taking him out of the crib. You have to experiment with this to see if it helps ease the transition.
Try spending three nights in the room like this, then maybe a couple of nights just outside the door followed by a couple of nights down the hall. We want Alex to get used to the idea that it’s okay to be in the crib and that there’s no reason to be upset.
Although this might ease the transition, there will be protest. And the reason he’ll protest is because his protests were working before; he’d go to bed and scream until you came in to get him. You can be sure that he’ll try that again. He will cry and scream. But now you’re going to show him that that is not going to work anymore.
This is the time where you tell him that crying and screaming is not a good way to get the things you want and that it’s bedtime. It really is not negotiable; bedtime is bedtime.
Again, there will probably be a couple of nights where he wakes up his little sister and both children will be up. But as I said before, that’s short term and it just has to be done to get through it and get him back on track, on track for everyone in the house to once again sleep well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
My 19 month old suddenly won’t nap. I have done the let him cry it out thing, but he will cry for an hour plus and still not sleep. He even will throw up at times from crying. He sleeps well at night from 8- 6. Cries for a minute or 2 when we put him down (which is also new) please help!
My son is 2 years old. For the past month bedtime and naptime have become very very difficult. More so at bedtime. It started when he jumped out of his crib several times. We were worried that he would hurt himself so we took the side of the crib off. We out one of those sides up so he wouldn’t fall out! The first night he slept all night. then for 4 weeks after that was sleeping all night. It was wonderful. All of a sudden at the mention of bedtime he started screaming. even putting on his pjs was a struggle. It got to the point where he was just getting right out of his toddler bed as soon as we put him in. we usually shut his door too. In seconds it was open and he was down the hall. So we started leaving it open. He slept for nights before it all atarted again. Then we finally broke down and got a full bed. Now one of us has to stay in there till he falls asleep or I have to rock him to sleep. Once asleep he only sleeps till 1 or 1:30pm. he wants to come in our bed and I don’t want that. One of the reasons we got the full bed. this way I am bringing him back to his bed. I don’t know what to do anymore. Its so bad! Help please!
I am experiencing a very similar problem, except that with Liam is seems totally out of the blue. He used to fall asleep in my arms, then transition to his crib. In the last week, he just won’t sleep. My husband and I are firm. No playing, same routine, etc. But, here we are, 2 hours past his bedtime and he’s still screaming bloody murder while being held. I am at my wits end.
The poor kid is 21-months-old and has night terrors if he falls asleep too late. This mommy’s about to break if she hears much more sobbing.
Hi Dana,
We are the frazzled parents to James 23 months and Sophia 4 months. James is the problem when it comes to sleeping. We are living in the UK but are both South African. We have no support system whatsoever and have not had a decent nights sleep in 2 yrs. James wakes on average 1-2 times a night but it takes hours of him crying and screaming before he goes to bed. We go in with him, read him a story, brush his teeth then kiss him goodnight and tell him its time for bed. Once the crying starts we go in every 5 min or so to reassure him and put him back into bed…. this goes on for nearly 2 hours every night. Its killing us. Do you have any sleep sense people based in the UK? Please send their details!!
Kind regards Jenni
Hi Dana,
My two year sleeps through the night most nights. However, she wakes up from time to time. What should I do if this happens? Also, she always seems to wake up when we are not at our own home. What should I do when making trips to grandma’s house? Please help!
I have the same exact problem as Trisha has with Alex. The only difference is that my son is already in a toddler bed. So unfortunately he can get out of his bed. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with a 2 year old who won’t sleep alone in a toddler bed? thank you!
I can get my 2 1/2 year old to nap with no problem , but with his father or aunt (who watch him while I am at work) he wont nap and they have tried. On these days he falls asleep at 6:30pm on the drive home and wont even wake up for dinner. I am at my wits end with this… any suggestions????
i have athree months old twins “boy and girl” they were real good sleepers but 2 weeks ago when they turned 3 months they started to scream every night for hours before they go to sleep,at naps i have no problem they cry for less than 2minutes then sleep,but at night when i start the bed routine they scream and nothing works to calm them down i rock and hold them for hours,i tried even cio but couldnt stand more than 20minutes away ,afte they finally exhaust themselves and me to sleep they sleep through the night!!it started suddenly nothing changed i do the same every night
My son is 4 years old. His bedtime is 8:00pm and we get him up at 6:00am. We have a structured bedtime routine; brushing teeth, kissing/hugging everyone goodnight and a bedtime story. He has his “blankie” that he nuzzles to fall asleep. He’s very active, a good eater with no known allergies.
He falls asleep on his own without any problem but does not sleep peacefully. He cries and yells out, in what sounds to us like anger and frustration, in his sleep without waking almost every night. He has been doing this since he was 2 years old. It begins at around 11:00pm and will continue every 20 to 60 minutes until around 4:00am. If he sounds like he is in great distress or it goes on for more than a few minutes, we go into his room, wake him up, soothe & comfort him and settle him down to go back to sleep, otherwise we let him self-soothe.
He goes to school full-time through the week and on the weekends he takes a 2-3 hour afternoon nap depending on how tired he is. I’m concerned that he has either been traumatized or his subconscious is in great emotional distress. Is there anything we can do to help him sleep peacefully throughout the night?
Our sons who are 3 and 18 mo. do not sleep all night. one or the other or both will wake 2,3,4, times a night. they do and will fall to sleep back on their own. they are both very light sleepers and both sleep in separate rooms. we do have a schedule, 5-5:30 is dinner around 6:00 is bath time, pajamas, we read a couple books and they have their sippy cups with milk, brush teeth and have a little quite time and its off to bed.bed time is 7:30. Both boys are good at bedtime in their cribs and sleeping. But they don’t stay sleeping all night. Then their up at 4:30-5:30 in the morning ready to go. Their naps during the day starts at 11:00 and will last anywhere from 1-2 hours long. we have tried big boy bed with the oldest but he just didnt seem ready for it. we have tried everything, read your book and many others. we have talked to their pediatrcian, seems like this is just not going to change, were just living with it. they are not good eaters, and we can’t force them to eat. we need an answer to this problem thats not getting any better. helpus sleep deprived parents
Hi,
My almost 2 year old has a really good bedtime routine, we start with bath at 6pm for 20 mins, then into pjs and then downstairs for peppa pig for 10 mins and then milk and 1 story in bed and lights out and shut the door. She would get up at 6am (which is perfect as we have to for work).
Now i had a second girl (who is now 3 months) and ever since she was born we will either not go to bed and just scream at the gate on her door until she gives in and goes to bed or more recently she goes to bed but wakes up at around 1-2am and just screams at the gate. We have always done the let her cry method but even that is not working now.
My husband and i do not know what to do, our youngest now goes throug the night but the 2 year old doesn’t, any suggestions?????????
My almost 11 month old son generally sleeps through the night. I am still nursing and in the evening, he goes to sleep afterwards. The problem is when he isn’t nursed or on the rare occasion (last night though I had to keep laying him down each time he stood up until he was exhausted. I lost almost 2 hours of sleep) that he awakens at night he fights going to sleep by walking around in his crib. We cannot leave him standing because he cannot lay down alone and would be stranded. In the past we did let him cry it out before he could stand up. My pediatrician warned that we needed to get him sleeping well before he could pull himself up!!! He was doing better but has regressed some. I have a nanny during the day and she is struggling and often ends up rocking him. Please help. thanks
My almost 11 month old son generally sleeps through the night. I am still nursing and in the evening, he goes to sleep afterwards. The problem is when he isn’t nursed or on the rare occasion (last night though I had to keep laying him down each time he stood up until he was exhausted. I lost almost 2 hours of sleep) that he awakens at night he fights going to sleep by walking around in his crib. We cannot leave him standing because he cannot lay down alone and would be stranded. In the past we did let him cry it out before he could stand up. My pediatrician warned that we needed to get him sleeping well before he could pull himself up!!! He was doing better but has regressed some. I have a nanny during the day and she is struggling and often ends up rocking him. Please help. thanks
My 3 year old son relies on having a bottle of milk to go to sleep even during the day if he has a nap. He has never been a great sleeper, so when he wakes during the night the first thing he wants is a bottle of milk. i’ve tried to give him milk in something other than a bottle, but he doesn’t drink it. Any suggestions would be great!!
My Son is an absolute gem for going to bed @ 7pm every night, we don’t hear a peep, however when it hits 4:30/5am in the morning it’s a different story!!! He’s 18months, going on 3 and yells out ‘bottle’. I say to myself I am not giving in and let him cry for as long as possible in hope he’ll fall back to sleep.. this does not happen! I’m the only house in the street with the light on and not even the birds are singing.. how do I let him know it’s not an appropriate time to wake up and he does not need a bottle that early??
arrrgghhhh
Yvette
My son is 1 year of age and my concern is, he is still waking up for his night feeds, even though he is starting to put himself to sleep. At the moment he is going through a growth spert and has been waking earlier for a feed. He did start having 6 to 7 hours sleep, but now its back to waking up every 4 hours. What suggestions do you have? I have tried to wean him off his milk, not consistently but he would cry and not go down to sleep. Eventually my husband said give him his bottle to make him settled. I have heard it takes 3 days to break the cycle!!! Please help…Karen
Hello. My 4 month old goes to sleep around 8:30 p.m and wakes up about 5 hours later. I nurse her to sleep, so naturually when she wakes up in the middle of the night, I feed her and she goes right back to sleep. Then, she wakes up 3-4 hours later and I feed her again. I beleive she is hungry when she wakes up at night because I don’t pick her up right away I let her fuss and I hear her sucking her hand, when she lets out a cry that’s when I pick her up. How do i teach her to put herself backto sleep without being nursed?
up until two weeks ago my 4.5 mth old son was sleeping from 7.30pm to 1.30am (he has never slept longer than that) and i can never get him to have longer than 3x 40 min naps throughout the day, he is now waking up after 40 min wanting to be resettled when he goes down at 7.30pm and then if i am lucky i will get another 3 hours of sleep from him before he wants to feed. i have tried taking away his dummy and letting him self settle but he will not settle when he is out and about. we have also tried rocking him to sleep this week which started out great with him having 2 hour or one hour sleeps but he is now back down to only 30-40 min naps. he has also started on solids a week ago. He plays up (fights and cries) when i wrap him and so i tried to let him sleep in a sleeping bag but he kept waking up and crying every hour. I feel like such a failure and that i am doing everything wrong, please help me
I have a 11 month old and a 28 month old they share a room now that we have moved. We have been here for 5 months. I never had a problem with the older one sleeping through the night until we moved (Her father has been away a lot now)and it is getting worse. She screams for hours. We had to take her out of her crib and put her in a toddler bed because she kept climbing out and we were afraid she would hurt herself. She starting opening the door and climbing over the gate ,she will not sleep at all. She now has a little door knob thing on her door to keep her from opening the door and getting downstairs. She now has her younger sister screaming for hours at night. I have tried letting her stay up later but she cries regardless of the time I put her to bed. We have turned on her lamp, turned on the light to her room, turned off her air conditioner she still screams like she is scarred to death. She will not sleep in our bed she tries to play when we put her in bed with us. I am beginning to think she will never sleep peacefully again. Her younger sister on gets to sleep good when we have her in a playpen in our room but that makes me feel bad for her because she does not get the comfort of her crib. HELP!
I can’t handle the catnaps during the day anymore…………I am trying to keep my 6 month old daughter up for a min of 2 hours and then leaving her in bed for up to 2 hours even though she wil only sleep for 40 mins. I am on day 3 of this new idea and the catnaps have not exceeded 40 mins but she doesn’t seem to be resisting to stay up. This amazes me a she usually needs a nap every hour. She is a great sleeper at night(11-12hours). Am I doing the right thing by leaving her in the cot for so long. I needs things to change during the day. Thanks, Anita.
I am a first time mom, of 5 month old son whom I have breastfeed exclusively during the night since birth. I pump milk & give bottles during the day. I have been back to work since he was 2 months old. He generally wakes every 3-5 hours during the night. He sleeps in a pack n play beside my bed. He has to be rocked to sleep every night, and for his naps, he takes them in a rocking swing. He has only slept through the night 5 or 6 times, and that was during a growth spurt. Recently when he wakes I simply put him the bed beside me & I have noticed that when I begin nursing him in the middle of the night he only sucks for a few minutes then goes back to sleep. Of course, I fall asleep too because I am so tired. Therefore, lately he is waking every 2-3 hours, wanting to nurse, but still waking anywhere from 5 to 7 am for a full 5oz bottle. I am exausted and have no clue what to do. Please help me, I am very frustrated with this to the point of being angry. My relationships are diminishing due to my lack of sleep. My work is severly affected because I am always late and when I am really tired, I am like a zombie. I know it is not my son’s fault that he does not know how to soothe himself to sleep. But I really feel that he is only using me as a pacifier, that he’s not really hungry, but simply wants to be soothed back to sleep. He was colicky for the first month so that set the pattern of soothing, I did not know that they were suppose to fall asleep on their own. I just really need your help please. I am at my wits end.
We’ve been sleep training our 7-month-old son for 2 weeks now and he still wakes up once or twice every night and screams for an hour and a half straight. Why is he doing this this late in the game? He takes two great naps during the day.
Hello,
I have a lovely 10 month old daughter who I have absolutely treasured spending nights with but it is time to make some changes. I return to work next month and would like to have the baby sleeping through the night to ensure that I am able to function. It is clear that we have developed some definite sleep associations. She nurses to sleep, and awaits for that time of night when daddy finally brings her down to sleep cozily next to mommy for the rest of the night. While Im trying to break this habit, as of now she is used to spending the 1st four hours or so of sleep in her crib and the rest of the night in our bed. My first question is, do we tackle both sleep associations at once? That is, do I first try to change the pattern of eating to sleep and continue to allow her to sleep in bed with us ? Or, is it appropriate to try to tackle both habits at once? Also, in my attempt to change her current nursing to sleep routine, I find that I am still rocking her to sleep. Am I not just creating another sleep association? Thank you in advance for your advice in helping us to create an environment that will allow our daughter to fall to sleep on her own. That sounds so blissful :)
Ever since we changed our daughter over to a regular bed from her crib she has slept a full night in her bed. The first week was fine but than all of a sudden the same routine doesn’t work. She doesn’t want to go to bed before 10 pm and when we do get her in bed she fidgets and tosses and turns. Plus one of us has to lie down with her and if shes not completely asleep when we try to get up than she starts crying. Most nights at about 2 am she comes into our room screaming that she wants to come into our bed. We’ve made a bed on the floor for her where she can come to but I would love for her to sleep in her own bed for the night and would love to spend the evening with my husband rather than in a dark bedroom.
My 22 month old is very difficult to get to sleep and she still wakes up during the night. Sometimes it take us hours to get her to sleep. She is sleeping in a bed since we have a new baby and had to use the crib for him. Either my husband or I will lay with her and read her a few books and sing her a song to get her to bed, but once we firmly tell her it is bed time she either flops around for ever or she will get really upset when we won’t get her more milk or read her more stories. On top of the difficulty getting her to sleep she also wakes up through out the night. She suffers from night terrors and it is really hard to figure out if she is waking up and having a night terror or if she just waking up. She calls out for Mommy or Daddy about 2 to 3 times per night and randomly asks for things. Sometimes she is really hard to understand and other times she just wakes up hysterical. I know there really isn’t much we can do about her night terrors, but how can we help stop her from waking up during the night and what can we do to get her to sleep faster. Please help!
My son is 2 years 10 months – we have a bed time routine which works fine. I put him down while he is awake and I can leave the room and he will fall off to sleep on his own. My problem is when he wakes through the night he states he’s frightened of the dark. I leave a little light on to try and make him feel more secure and sometimes he may go back off to sleep but more often than not he refuses and wants into our bed. I must admit by this point I tend to give in especially if I have work in the morning but obviously I know this isn’t the right thing to do. Also I want to try and get him off his dummy for bedtime but keep putting this off when he wakes through the night. Can anyone offer advice?
My 11 month old twin grand-daughters have no problem sleeping for 9 or 10 hours, but this is from 2 or 3 a.m.!!My daughter has tried different things to get them to sleep by at least 10p.m., but they wake up in an hour and play or cry. Any suggestions?
My son, Carter is one month old. He never sleeps more than 2 hours at a time at night. I know other babies this age that sleep for 4 hours at a time. In a book I read, it states that when a baby is 12-13 pounds, they are able to sleep for 5-6 hour stretches at night. My son is 12.5 pounds. What can I do to get him to sleep longer stretches?
Our 7 month old daughter was sleeping over 9 hours after just a few days on the Sleep Sense program. However, four nights ago she woke up at 2 a.m., two hours earlier than normal. She was highly constipated, but once I fed her and changed her diaper she went right to sleep. I thought it was a one time thing; but now she wakes up at 2 instead of 4 every night. She cries on and off until I finally feed her, which is at 4 a.m. How can I get her to sleep those two hours again? Actually, we’d like her to sleep until 6 if possible. Please help us. We’re desperate.
We started the Sleep Sense program a week ago with our 6 and 1/2 month old daughter Lilu. We got her on a solid bed time routine and she now goes to sleep at 7 p.m. She was sleeping until 4 a.m., at which time my wife would feed her; however, she’s been waking up earlier and earlier… 2:30, 2:00, 1:50 etc. My notes show that this change coincides with her eating solids, mainly cereal. I thought solids were supposed to help babies sleep longer. Please help my baby make it until her 6 a.m. wake up time!
My 4month old son never sleeps for more than 1/2 hr at a stretch in the daytime, also he needs to breastfeed to put to sleep.how to make him sleep during daytime and also change the feeding to sleep habit
my youngest son is 21 months old and the oldest is 32 months old… with the little one we don´t have any problems, he knows that when he is in his crip he needs to sleep.. the other one happen what we watched on the video… sometimes he cries but you think that the other one hears something ___ nop,… my little one is deeply sleep that he doesn´t hear anything… sometimes he does but usually he go back to sleep right away, THANK GOD…
Our daughter, Elise, is 23 mths old.
She was using a water bottle and sleeping well, however, we stopped the bottle and now we are the pacifier.
She was jumping out of her crib as well and now she WILL NOT stay in her bed.
What can we do? I thought about changing back to the crib until she learns to sleep without the bottle and us. Worried about her safety, jumping out again.
hi, isils sleep is fantastic she is 2 months on the 18th of July she leaps at least 6 hours straight at night when i put her down between 11:00pm and 12:00pm, the problem is i need to rock her in her bouncer to put her to sleep. during the day is the same she wakes up about every 3-4 hours but still falls asleep with me rocking her, i have tried leaving her there but she screams like saying i cant sleep on my own what else can i try? im worried because i may need to do this when she is older
I have a six 1/2 month old who has three night straigh without wanting to sleep! Yesterday he woke up at 11:45am and slept during the day for like 15minutes!!! then he didn’t fall asleep till 3:43 am and I get no sleep since I work nights and I come home to try to sleep him. Also, he doesn’t really like his bottle because he like to be breast fed to fall asleep….please help!!!
I have a two year old that has never never been a good sleeper. I rock her to sleep and that is no problerm, but she wake up at least once or twice a night and is getting harder and harder to get back to sleep. To make matters worse, we returned from California last week and perhaps b/c of time change it has gotten even worse, she wont sleep unless I sleep with her…WE have got to stop this now so we can get some sleep. We have tried the crying it out method or sitting it there by her but she shares a room with her 4 1/2 year old sister so her screaming and crying always wakes her sister up…….Thanks for your help!
My 6 month old daughter goes to bad at 8PM and sleeps through the knight pretty well except that very often at 4:30AM she cries for a bottle. I give her only 2 oz of formula and this is enough for her to go back to sleep. I tried not to give her a bottle and leave her in the room crying but she would keep crying until I feed her. Need your help. Thanks.
I have a date set in a couple of weeks to get my children in a proper sleeping arrangement Ocean 5 Westly almost 3 both boys have always been co slept with first with myself then with their father as the next was born right now I’m with the 3rd child Cyrus 11 months our sleeping habits is tearing mom and dad apart for we have not slept together for 6yrs..and dad has so many sleepless nights for now the 5 yr old and 3 yr old sleep together in a queen bed and dad right beside them in a single bed dad sometimes comes out of the room when they fall asleep at exactally midnight 3yr old wakes up screaming daddy but now he wakes up about 10 times through the night saying daddy to see if he is their I basically know how to get them into their own beds do I keep them together in a bed or each in their own beds or each in their own rooms??how do I handle the 3 yr old constantly waking asking for daddy??? as I’m usually busy with the 11 month old at bed time and nursing through the night and daddy doesn’t have the patients to deal with this thats one of the reasons its taking me so long to deal with this situation for I ‘ve been busy dealing with the baby but it has gone on for too long and understand its going to take a week or two to make this transition but just want to know whats the best way to go about it ????
What is the earliest age that a baby can start being sleep-trained?
I’m so stressed out and very crossed with husband been a mother and working full time from home.
My 17 months old goes to bed fine. We have the same routine since he was born. He has never been a good sleeper and lately is waking time around 2 to 3 times during the night. In order to go back to sleep Im bringing him to my bed but he spends all night looking to find my hair and pulls it all night along for comfort. If I don’t bring him to bed he cries till I give up.
PLEASE I NEED SOME HELP!!!
What shall I do???
I love my hubby and want to be married to him for the rest of my life. But if we keep this way I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
hi, my daughter is 2months old she is having her last bottle at 9pm and waking around 3-4am for a bottle and goin back to sleeep till around 8am how can i get her to miss that bottle at 3-4am she doesnt have a problem falling to sleep on her own
hi Dana my baby she is not stopping breastfeed.i want to stop her could u tell me how to stop .when i dont if her breastfeed she is start cry.
hi Dana my baby she is not stopping breastfeed.i want to stop her could u tell me how to stop .when i dont if her breastfeed she is start cry.
her.
Hello
My little boy Charlie who is now nearly 7 months is still not sleeping through the night. He goes to bed with no fuss at 7 as we have a good bedtime routine however he then wakes at 10.30 for a bottle and then again at about 3. When he wakes at 3 I try to settle him without a bottle but he won’t go to sleep until he has been fed.After feeding him I leave him awake in his cot and he will put himself back to sleep after a bit of chatting. He is on 3 full solid meals in the day (mix of carb and protein) and he also has a little bowl of porridge before bed using some of his milk as he will no longer take his bedtime bottle. Likewise after the two milk feeds in the night he will not take his morning bottle however he has half of the milk mixed with his cereal which he eats all of. He is a good eater and I can’t believe he is still hungry at night but it appears to be the case. Hope you can help me. Kind Regards Elizabeth.
My 23 month old son cries & screams & is up & down for at least an hour before falling asleep at night. We have a routine for him & his 3 yr old sister, but he still fights us every night! I finally got him sleeping all night at 14 mths, but since we moved him into a single bed he carries on like you wouldn’t believe. He was even waking 2-3 times a night. At your instruction, we got rid of his dummy, but he still has 3 teddies, a night light & music to help him off to sleep. Without these he screams like he’s in pain & gets hysterical. My husband & I are at our wits end & the screaming is stressing us both. I am on medication to keep calm. Please help as we believe we have tried everything.
My daughter Carley has just turned nine months old. About a week and half ago her sleep pattern has changed. She was sleeping through the night. I would put her down between 6pm – 6.30pm and she would sleep through to 6am and sometimes she would sleep through till between 6.30 – 7am. She has never been much of a daytime sleeper. Most days I could get her to have 3 x 45 min naps. However it has all changed. She has started to wake up at 5.30am and I will give her a feed and sometimes she will go back for about 40 min sleep. She is getting cranking during the day and I can only get to have 2 x 30 min naps. So in the past week I have to put her down about 5pm – 5.30pm. I have tried to keep her up to her usual bedtime but she will not sleep any longer. I need help in getting my daughter to have longer naps and why all of a sudden she is waking up early. Also is between 5pm – 6pm too early for a bedtime.
Hi Dana,
My 3 1/2 month old has got me stumped. From birth he’s been a really good sleeper. We were easily able to get into a routine of bedtime, naps during the day, etc… with very few problems.
For weeks he’s been sleeping through the night with no problem whatsoever and then waking up a very happy, content little guy in the morning.
All of the sudden about a week ago that all changed. He goes to bed great with his regular routine at his regular time of about 8:00. Sleeps wonderfully until sometime between midnight and 1:00. But then at that time, wakes up crying. I go in, give him back his bink and his ‘lovey bear’ and he seems to go right back to sleep. But then the same exact thing happens an hour later. And the hour after that, and the hour after that… the entire rest of the night! So for the last week I’ve been up literally every hour from midnight on until morning, and it’s getting so exhausting!
He’s not acting hungry… I tried a couple times feeding him at that first wake up, but he would just nurse for a minute or two, fall asleep at the breast, and be awake again an hour later.
His diaper is never more than just a tiny bit wet at most.
I’ve tried picking him up and burping him and then putting him back down, but that only seems to wake him all the way and therefore make him mad when I put him back down.
What else can I do?? I haven’t the slightest idea why this has suddenly become habit.
I should mention too that about the same time this started happening at night, he also started having trouble staying asleep longer than about 20 minutes during his daytime naps. I’ve read your previous blogs on that subject and have handled that the way you suggest. So usually I can get him to go back to sleep and finish the nap. But it’s just so odd.
Thank you for your help, and for this wonderful resource!
Thank you for your sleep sense, Dembe is much improved but she still wakes at 1am for a feed then 5-6am for another. She is 10 mths now and tha advice from a child health worker was to give her half dose formula and reduce the amount – is this correct? She is well fed and meeting her goals. She is also trying to stop having two naps and often will only sleep a 30-40 min nap for 1 and then 1-2hrs for the other, but she is extremely grumpy. Up until recently she would have a good 2 naps of 1-2 hrs each. Any help would be great. Thanks Tanya
My son goes down to sleep pretty well most nights, but we are having two problems. Number 1, he frequently wakes up in the middle of the night and has wet through his pajamas (even when we tried a larger size diaper). It seems like he’ll never be able to sleep through the night.
Number 2, he wakes up at a ridiculous hour the last couple of weeks (4:00-4:30 a.m.) and is ready to start the day. He starts yawning and rubbing his eyes by around 6:00, but I try to keep him up until his normal naptime around 9:30.
Help! I’m exhausted!
My 4 1/2 month old daughter goes to sleep on her own, sometimes with a few minutes of half hearted crying but not always. That is thanks to you program. However, she occasionally wakes 1-2 hours after being put to bed (always by 8pm) and doesn’t always put herself back to sleep. I leave her for at least 10mins before going in to calm her. She has also gone from waking at 6-7am to 5am! Ready to start the day. Needless to say, we aren’t. I don’t know how to get her to sleep a little longer. Could she be teething or perhaps ready to start some solids?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Trish, Paul and Maisy.
Dana, I have a 3 1/2 month old and we are implementing many of your techniques. My question is how important is having the same bedtime every night? Our schedule is different everyday b/c my baby wakes up at a different time usually every day even though it may be between 1-2 hours difference so that throws us off at bedtime and every night is different. Could this be the reason she is still not sleeping very well? Thanks
Chloe is 3 months old and we cant get her to sleep in her crib she will only sleep in her swing shes getting bigger by the day and I’m very concered. I dont know what to do.
My daughter, 17 months, has always had a hard time staying asleep. She has a hard time falling asleep but 4 hours of continuous sleep is a huge accomplishment and I know she should be able to sleep longer than that. Do all kids wake up many, many times during the night (and after an hour or shorter nap) and just leave them to their own devices to fall back to sleep or if she’s standing up in her crib do I need to start her routine all over again?
I have a 2year old girl Olivia that will not go to sleep unless myself or my husband sleep in the bed next to hers. It is better with my husband because she at least stays in her bed. With me she keeps getting out of the bed & either trying to crawl into bed with me or run out of the room. How can we get her to sleep in her bed without us sleeping in the same room?
My little guy (Justyn) really tosses and turns at night. This started since about 3 months, but it became worse from about 4months to where it would wake both him and myself up. He goes to sleep on his own with no problems and he doesn’t seem to be looking to be held or anything. I wonder if his tummy bothers him because he has always slept on his tummy (he would roll over and even if I put him back he would just roll over again). He is eight months now so I don’s worry about him being on his tummy. The constant moving about became a little less in the past month, but in the last week it has started all over again. The major changes he has is that I have weaned him off of breast milk to formula but it doesn’s seem to matter to him. I wonder again if his tummy is too full, but I wait about half and our to 45 min. before I put him to bed at night. The thing is that he will usually be asleep within 10 mins and sleep sound for the first 2-3 hours then all the movement starts pretty much for the rest of the night.
Dear Dana;
I am a Mother to 3 beautiful children ages 5, 9 & my youngest, Jordyn, 11 months. Jordyn naps consistently & religiously twice a day, which has just recently decreased to about an hr at a time & she falls asleep unassisted with minimal fuss/& or crying. Her bedtime commences at 7 p.m every night with the regimented routine of bath, breastfeeding, story & bed. My husband & I are perplexed as to why she has difficulty falling asleep at bedtime since she habitually cries intermittently for up to 1/2 hour each night prior to falling asleep – unlike her naps. In order to help reassure her, I have been standing just outside her door, without making any eye contact. Is there any suggestions as to how I can help to faciliate a more smooth transition to bedtime?
Thanks!
My 21 month old refuses to give up her bottle at nap time and at bed time. Most of the time she goes down well for the night at 9 pm but starts getting up around 1 am and continues to get up every hour until 6 am. Sometimes she want s a bottle, other times she wants to be held or she throws a tantrum. I need help, I haven’t had a full nights sleeps in two years and I’m seven and a half months pregnant. I need some peace before the new baby. What do I do?
i have two girls, one is 26 months and the other 5 months old.
the older one was doing great! now she is waking up 2 or 3 times per night. i assumed it was a good idea to go to her room, tell her everything is ok, and that it is time to sleep. i can leave her all by herself, but she will wake up in a few hours. then she stars her day at 5 or 5:30 in the morning. she has a good night schedule and normally falls asleep at 7:30 or 8… i don’t know what is happening because she was very good to sleep thru the night.
my youngest, still wakes up 2 or 3 times at night. i normally take her out of her crib because i don’t want her to wake her sister. she is still sleeping in our bedroom, because i want her to first learn to fall asleep by herself and don’t wake her sister during the night.
if you can help me… i will be very very happy!! thanks!
What a great site! My boy really doesn’t have these issues any more, but I wish I had seen this site when he did. Will post your site on mine if that is alright.
Jennifer FitzGerald
http://www.bestinfantcrib.com
Hi Dana
My baby is 3 months old. Since turning 1 month she has not been able to sleep a full 2hours at her lunchtime nap. She has 30-45mins in the morning and goes down at 12pm for the lunchtime nap. Although she will put herself to sleep at the beginning of this nap she can only stay asleep for 30-40 mins max. After that she wakes up crying and does not go back to sleep. i have tried rocking, using a pacifier, etc but nothing seems to work. I know 30mins is not enough as she becomes cranky later on and tends to fall asleep whilst feeding at her 2.30pm feed.
Please Dana what can I do?
Thanks
i have twin girls, 10 months old, i usually put them sleep at 8 pm, but they wake up at 5 am and want to stay awake until i give them a bath, arround 9:30 am… I am really tired waking up this early what should i do, to make them sleep at least to 7am
HI, my little boy is 13 weeks tomorrow, he has JUST started sleeping through the night (7.00 till between 4.30/5.30) i decided 3 nights ago i would remove his dummy completly as i had worked out he was no longer waking in the night to be fed, just to have his dummy replaced. however, he now only wakes to suck, i feed him as sometimes it has been over 12hours since a feed asnd hes bound to be hungry, but he just suckles and if i dare remove the bottle he screams, this has gone on over an hour before he will finally take the feed and go back to sleep. i dont want to complain because i have waited so long for him to sleep over 4 hours a night. just want to crack this waking for sucking without resorting back to dummy, he has done well enough without?? any help would be brill!! thankyou, Sarah
Most of the comments are with younger children; however, my daughter is 4 1/2 years old. Her problem is not with sleeping through the night (Even with our first encounter of an earthquake this summer!). The issue I have with her is that upon picking her up from kindergarten, where she has spent from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with a nap midday, she gives me this awful attitude. She hits my arms, she kicks me, she calls me a “moron” (I know it came from Disney’s Cars movie). I tell her it’s not okay to hit me, kick me, and call me names. She just keeps doing it. The other day, we were on the train and she wanted to keep running up and down the aisle with people sitting and the train moving – I said no moving – sit down and hold on! She just wouldn’t. I took her out of the train and let her cry for 5 minutes. We got back on, with a much better attitude; however, on the bus after the train, she fell asleep.
At bedtime, same as the above video, she calls the shots. She could stay up until 10/11 p.m. every night if it weren’t for waking her up at 7 a.m. every morning. I think 9 p.m. is early for her, even though I try earlier. The same episode that happened on the train happened at nighttime for FOUR nights in a row. We’d lay in bed and she would just elbow me in the chest for no reason. “I don’t WANT to sleep!”
I don’t know what to do. My husband’s mother is woken up, the neighbors below us asked what is going on at nighttime, and it is so embarassing to see people look at me like I am a bad mom on the train full of strangers. If she sleeps well through the night, takes a midday nap, is it still lack of sleep? Is it hunger? I bought some of the Sleepytime Bath Gel (Johnson and Johnson) like we have in the States. The last two nights she has showered we use it and she has been better. Maybe she just has too much energy or too wound up at bedtime she can’t relax. What else can I do to help her relax?
Thanks, Dana.
hi i need help getting my eleven mnth old to sleep in his cot..hell sleep a hour after hes bath then hell wake up maybe four hours later an he wont go back to sleep unless i breastfeed him an let him sleep in our bed…plz need help i need sum time with my husband an time for myself.
where do i start! Aiden is 6 months old and althugh he is a very good happy baby and oes go to sleep in the evening in his own room, everytime he wakes up duing the night he will not go backt sleep unless i breast feed him. I don’t mind at the moment but i have t go back to work soon an don’t think i could face waking up with him 2-3 times a night.
we started with your program when elina was 3 months old, it did wonders to our life, traveling was easy, going out was easy!! she would sleep and wake up all happy, she is 14 months now and she still sleeps well, puts her sleep to sleep by singing and play in her crib, in her room with us not around, but WAKES in the morning crying. she has 2 naps, a long one inthe morning and a shorter one in the afternoon, she wakes happy from her morning nap, but her afternoon nap wakes up all cranky and crying! it takes us about half an hour to make her happy. i dont know where i am going wrong, i just want her to wake up and not cry!!!
thanx
My daughter is seven month now.Always moving around her bed,i mean she doesnt sleep on one side.And also she is cying on her sleep.She never sleep silencely.
thanxs
Four year old has begum expressing extreme fear of “some” bugs or monsters or things in the bed that are “eating” her skin. She is very afraid, and the fear seems real. She is not allowed to watch much TV at all – mostly Disney, etc, and nothing that is very scary – no witches, etc. So I don’t know where this could be coming from.
She is extremely well cared for and has a pretty firm bedtime routine. This is new. How should we handle this. There is nothing worse than really being afraid.
I have an almost 6 month old daughter that does not like to go to bed early. She can get up at 7.30am have a few naps during the day and still stays up til between 10 and 12pm. She treats her bed time sleep around 7pm as a nap and no matter what I do she just sleeps for 45 minutes and refuses to go to bed until later, the nap lets her kick on for 3 more hours, I have tried stopping the nap but she gets overtired and cranky. I have tried every combination of sleep times, naps and wake up times but she just adjusts and stays up late no matter what. Any advice? I am over going to bed at 1am everynight.;
my daughter is 15 mths old… she is still waking in the middle of the night for a bottle… i want to know how do i get her to sleep all through the night without waking for a feed?
she goes to bed between 6:30pm and 7:00pm, sometime 7:30 the latest and she puts herself to sleep, i lay her in her cot with her bottle and her music playing and she goes off to sleep no worries… but then wakes from anytime between 12am and 3am for a bottle.
i have tried waking her and feeding her before i go to bed around 9pm to 11pm but that makes her more hungry during the night, so she ends up waking a number of times throughout the night, so that doesnt work!
i know that she associates going to sleep with her bottle but i dont know how to faze her out of it… i dont know how to get her to sleep through the whole night, please help
Thanx
omg dana it’s me yandel’s mom. as i write to you i’m crying i’ve lost your webpage and to cover it off i change e-mail address. you are my mentior with yandel i’ve beening trying to do lots of things with yandel his 15months now he uses a zippy cup for water and juice i would like to know how to do to get him to drink his milk out of the zippy cup as well. and i want to start potty training i just don’t know how to start. and the most problem of all for some reason or an other he wakes up once or twice at night crying with his eyes close facing the wall with his hands up in the air. omg i’m so sorry so much at once but i really need your help!pls. i’ve been trying to find you for ever and i’m so glad and thankful that i found you. opps! one more thing i put him to sleep in the rocking chair as he falls a sleep with a bottle i know it’s wrong but i really don’t know how to fix the problem.ok that’s it for now lol thank you hope to hear from you sooooo soon.
Hi my 10 month old Jack still wakes for a bottle in the middle of the night around 2am.He drinks the whole thing then puts himself back to sleep straight away. Is this bottle a comforter for him or is he just really hungry because the whole bottle is always gone?
He has 2 1/2 hours sleeps in the day and is in bed with a full belly by 7pm and is able to put himself to sleep.!!
Hi, My son James is 6 months and 1 week old. He’s never been a very good sleeper, he will either fall asleep after being fed *hes a breastfed bubba* and then placed in his rocker chair, or being placed awake in his rocker chair and then rocked to sleep. He won’t sleep in his crib straight away, its like he has to be in the lounge room with us. Just before i go to bed myself i give him a dream feed *he doesn’t wake up but has a feed anyway* and then he will happily go done in his crib *he sleeps in our room as he still sometimes wakes during the night, not every night but quite regularly* He also still needs to be swaddled quite securely, he still uses his woombie *like a sleeveless all enclosed sleeping bag* other wise he hits himself in the head and wakes himself up.
He also won’t sleep in his crib during the day, he has two 1/2 hour naps, one around 11am and the other around 2-3pm, he has these in his rocker chair wherever i happen to be at the time.
He has been on solids since he was 2 1/2 months old *with the blessing if our doctor* and now has a fairly large evening meal. He has dinner at 5 a bit of time with daddy while i get our dinner organized and then a nice bath.
He is then placed in his PJs and Woombie, given his feed and he’ll *usually* go to sleep.
We’ve tried placing him in his cot, but he just screams, for over an hour, and will not sleep. Even going in and giving him back his dummy and stroking him to resettle does not work.
He is a mummys boy and i spend a big percentage of everyday carrying him around while i try to get any sort of house work done, if i don’t he sits there and cries if he can’t see me, or is in his chair for too long. Also if i get him to sleep and duck out to go grocery shopping 1/2 hour after i walk out the door, he is awake and screaming and giving my husband no end of grief.
We have a 4 year old daughter and im not overly concerned about her getting woken up as she is very easy to resettle and explain things to.
Sincerely
Chantel
please help erin my six year old stepdaugher has to have her dad lay with her til shes aslep then wilwake up at two and try and climb in bed with us i wont let it happened i put her back to bed she thn throws a tantrum till he gets up and lays with he again he started it wh she was little now he wants help please help im going crazy
My child Franco its having problems sleeping throughout the night, he wakes up almost every hour.
Hi Dana, we have a beautiful 17 months old wee girl who is a very happy girl. We have a very strick routine with her. Her nightly routine starts at about 5 – 5.30pm with either a bath first or dinner, depending on how late she has had her lunch. Once bathed and fed and into her pj’s she is allowed to play a little, we read books to her or she watches a wee dvd of hers to settle her into sleep time as the whole dvd is all about going to bed. Bottle time is generally about 6.30 – 7pm at the latest and into bed at 8pm at the latest. She settles herself to sleep at this time with no problems at all, we tuck her into her cot, out we go and within 30min she is asleep. We are having major problems with her waking in the middle of the night anywhere between middnight and about 1 – 1.30am and she cant seem to settle herself back to sleep, we let her grizzle for up to an hour then we have to either go in a comfort her or give her a very small bottle to get her back to sleep. She then generally wakes again between 5 – 6am, we give her a small bottle and she usually goes back off to sleep, this time is not really an issue to us but the midnight waking is!!! She always has one sleep a day, usually late morning to up to two hours at the most, if we can get her to have an afternoon nap that is a bonus but dosent usually happen, which is not too much of a concern to us. She is a very healthy happy wee girl and eats well. So…..please help us with the middle of the night waking, we a exausted and im running out of energy!!!
What about co-sleeping? My child is 13 months and we are trying to get him out of our bed. We have a routine then he falls asleep. We then proceed to put him very delicately into the crib. He will sleep until 1 am or 3am then will flip over, stand up, and then cry. We “rescue” him and he sleeps with us the rest of the time. The cry it out method is too much for my husband and me. Any thoughts?
Hi Dana
I have a 17 month old who falls asleep on his own, however after 3 hours of sleeping he wakes up crying and standing in his bed. I have made the mistake of letting him sleep in my bed espically if I am exhausted. I am expecting another baby and would love any suggestions you may have to try and break this habit before the baby arrives.
Thank you.
Hi, I got your book of the internet and it has great information but i have a few more questions. im doing everything you say about day time sleeps but my little girl (5 mths)is still waking after 40 mins. she goes down with out a dummy but when she wakes she want settle with out it so i give it to her…….night sleeps are great. she is sleeping 7pm till 4.30 am. then i do control crying or give her the dummy till 6am when i feed her. please give suggestions for day time sleeps may help her sleep till 6am.
thanks
We are going to be moving house soon and I am quite nervous about the impact it will have on my one year old and two year old’s sleep patterns. My one year old has never slept anywhere other than our house ever, and my two year old has not slept anywhere other than our house since she was eleven months old. It was such a trying experience getting them to sleep through the night and take naps that I’m afraid to go anywhere that requires being away from home during the night. Are there ways to prepare them for a move, or going away on vacation? What are the best ways to tackle sleeping in an unfamiliar environment?
Hi Dana,
What should I do when Kaden (6.5months) wakes up after 2-3hours once being put to sleep at around 7pm? I let him cried for 5-10 mins but he doesn’t go back to sleep, I have once or twice let him cried himself back to sleep which can take up to 1 hour. When I pick him up cause I thought he was hungry he just falls back to sleep after a couple of sucks. He keeps waking up at 10.30pm, 2.30pm, 5.30am or 6am. Anything after midnight I just grab him and breast feed him that way I can get sleep as well. What should I be doing to help Kaden sleep though the night or at least just wakes up once at night?????
Thanks
Goy
Hi There,
We have a 22 month old who has been a reasonably good sleeper till recently. We also have a 6 month old. We have just won the battle of him going down to sleep without him getting out of the bed constantly, until this he would go to bed with one story and we would leave the room no worries. Our 22 month has decided it is ok to get out of bed and scream the house down when he wakes during the night. We sleep the other end of the house with the baby in the next room, but he is very loud! He is difficult to then put back down to bed without any fuss.
Please any suggestions or ideas?
Thanks
My daughter (21mths) goes off to sleep easily most nights (7.45pm). She has a good routine – bath, bottle, book then bed. I put her in her cot, say goodnight and leave the room. She may cry for a minute or two, but not for long. The problem is she yells out during the night (approx. 9pm, 2am, 4am, 5am – and from then on until she gets up around 6-6.30am. I’m not even sure she is awake most of the time (sometimes she is awake, and is very difficult to get back to sleep – she usually will only settle with a bottle and in our bed if this is the case). This means my husband and I don’t sleep much past 3 or 4am as we’re very aware of her restless night. Is there any methods to improve our daughter’s sleep so that it is more peaceful? (and therefore more sleep for us!
where do i begin………. asghar has never slept a full night he is now 25 months old. he was breast fed so used to fall asleep while feeding, this led to him thinking that i should always be there with him. at 14 months i stoped breast feeding and that went pretty well, he moved on to fresh milk. he dosent have abottle at night, but he wont let me leave the bed, then i have to wriggle free, because he will hold on to me, as soon as i have left a while after he will be up and crying very loudly as if he is scared then again it starts, by myself laying with him, my daughter who is 8, was bottle fed, asghar is still in our bed, he has a nap in the day,12- 2, or later now if my daughters at home he can keep going till 5, then be fully awake till midnight. we did consider a crib, but i know he would just climb out of it and it will end up as a huge laudry basket we get up at 7 to start our day,he is also up around that time, napping midday, i need help, how can i get him in his own bed and make him feel safe and he hardly sits down all day he is so active is over tird?
Hi Dana
My 3 year old daughter sleeps through the night most nights. The last few weeks she has started getting out of bed about 2am and going to sleep on the lounge. If we hear her we go out and put her back to bed which she does without a fuss and goes back to sleep. Sometimes she will just call out to us and we find her sitting on the lounge. She returns to bed quite happily. Any idea on what might cause this and how to keep her in her bed??
I have a 3month old baby boy, when he sleeps during the day it usually only lasts about half an hour then he’ll be up for no more than an hour and just be tired and cranky so I’ll put him back to sleep. It seems I spend most of my day putting him to sleep because he doesn’t seem to sleep enough to be happy. Also he’s still not falling to sleep on his own and wakes up during the night for a feed and sometimes its not so easy to get him back to sleep again, sometimes it can take hours, when I finally get him back to sleep he might sleep an hour or so then he’s up again and tired and cranky… again. I’m trying my best but not sure if what I’m doing is best, it seems he has his own routine and its all over the place, Is there an easier way or something else I could try??? please help
Hi Dana,
I have just read your topic from last week “Are you becoming a human pacifier for your baby?”
and yes I have been one and am now paying for it.
My son, Joel, is now 8 months old. He has never slept through the night, the longest he has slept solid is about 5 hours. He was waking every 2 to 3 hours and I was feeding him to go back to sleep. I have just stopped breast feeding and he is not having a lot of formula during the day (150ml four times a day). I give him a feed at about 10.00 pm and he wakes approx. 2 to 3 times before 7.00am. I have a bedtime routine which is the same every night, he does not go to sleep by himself very often. I will nurse him and put him down in his cot and he will usually cry and I eventually go in and nurse him to sleep. He is in the habit of feeding every time he wakes and if I do not feed him he cries until I give him a bottle. Do you have any suggestions? I have a 2 and a half year old and a four year old and after 8 months of broken sleep it is beginning to take its toll.
Thank you.
hi dana orshena’s geting wors she never sleeps for afternoon time she is waking up at 10 am and nevr go to sleep until 11 pm i tried with bathing here at 6 pm and put here in bed at 7 she start crying hard for more then half of hour and she want stop and she will stay awake untill 11 pm i feel sorry for here but i dont know what to do becuse i’m geting tierd to if you can pleas tell me whats the best option to tech here how to go to sleep . many thanks jina
My son will be turing 3 in september and is struggling with letting me go at night. My son slept in our bed for quite sometime due to my husband and I seperating and we felt he needed that physical closeness, but now that my husband and I are back together we wanted him to start back in his own bed.
We have done the progression idea and he is doing ok with it at bedtime as long as he can still see me. He can lay in bed and see me in my room directly across the hall. But when it is night time and he cant see me he still comes to get me. I know that the suggestion is to lead him back to bed, tuck him back in and leave again, but this now seems to be his new need.
How can I get him to fully transition off of needing me when we have got this far? We have not given in to allow him into our bed or vice versa, but it seems like we are now stuck at this new stage.
Help!
Thanks so much,
A very sleep mom
Hi Dana,
I have a question about my 2 year old son, Greg’s naps. He will not sleep during the day if I don’t lay next to him. I have tried leaving him alone in the crib and he will cry for hours. By this time it’s already too late for him to nap, since it will interfere with his night sleep. He is fine at nights. I just put him in the crib and he sleeps by himself without a problem. What can I do different, so he’s able to nap on his own? Oh, I should also mention that he sleeps in his crib at nights, but in my bed during the day.
My daughter (age 7) will appear to be sleeping very shortly after lying down and then wake up in what seems like a panic attack. She seems to be in a daze but at the same time is crying, trembling, and asking for help. She has gone as far as saying “Im going to hurt myself”- “where am I ” etc.. and I don’t know what to do for her. I can tell you she only does this when she has not had enough sleep. I don’t know if it is a panic attack, or a dream. What I do know is that it scares the heck out of me. Please help.
Thanks
I have a five month old daughter that does not want to sleep through the night. She has a bead time routine we start at 7:30 with bath, the lotion, then I breastfeed here and lay her down around 8:30 most of the time she goes right to sleep. Then she wakes up at 11:30 or 12 and wants to eat, and this were it goes bad she ends up in bed with us until the morning. This is bad because she tosses and turns and ends up wanting to eat very 2 hr after that. I recently went back to work so I haven’t enforced her to go back to bed yet; are there any suggestions of how to make this a smooth transition?
My Daughter who is 5 months old used to sleep through the night without waking up…this was untill 5 weeks ago. Now she wakes up crying atleast 3-4 times in the night (She sleeps in a co-sleeper next to our bed). My husband and I have to wake up to put the pacifier back in her mouth (she falls asleep with one) to make her sleep again. She also seems to nap a lot during the day. She sleeps for atleast 2 to 2.5 hrs after her morning feed then about 1.5 – 2 hrs in the afternoon and an hr to 1.45 hrs in the evening before going to bed at 10 or 10.30 pm. I know I know you will say “What is she doing up that late? ” Trouble is , if I put her to bed by 8 pm she will wake up at 11 pm to feed (she stopped feeding in the middle of the night since she was 6 wks old). I have a bed time routine for her, massage followed by bath at 8.30 pm and then milk around 9.30 pm. How do I make her sleep through the night without waking up. We both work full time and waking up 3-4 times each night leaves us exhausted during the day and is affecting our productivity at work. On a side note , it’s not possible to move her in to a separate room untill August end.
my 9 mth old has always had problems sleeping through the night, i did get him into a routine of sleeping from 8pm till 5am, then he starting teething and waking through the night, and now he has just has conituned with this pattern waking at 1am then 5am, I have tried leaving him to cry for few minutes sometimes works sometimes dosnt, I am going back to work in a couple of months so i am guna struggle waking during night to feed and getting up in morning and going to work?
My daughter will be 4 months on July 16th. She has been sleeping through the night since she was 6 weeks old. I started her on a schedule at 2 weeks old. We do her bed time routine then she is put to bed awake. She is normally asleep from 7:30pm until 7:00am. I am just having problems with her napping right now. We are on a 3 naps a day schedule. I put her down awake and she falls asleep with hardly any fuss at all and will sleep for 45 minutes then awake. I let her fuss for 15 minutes then go check on her, then let her fuss another 30 minutes and she still won’t go back to sleep. She does this with all 3 naps for the day. I have been doing the same thing for almost 4 weeks with no luck. She is not hungry I have tried to feed her, thought maybe she was going through a growth spurt. I know that she needs more then three, 45 minute naps a day. Since day one we have never used a soother, rocked her, or anything to put her to sleep. She has always been put down in her crib awake and put herself to sleep. Does she just not require as much sleep during the day since she is sleeping through the night?? I have no idea what is going on. I don’t want her bad napping to mess with her good night time sleep. PLEASE HELP! Thanks!
I have a ten month old daughter and she still wakes up for night feed and has about 6oz she has about 24oz during the and bits of meals ive tried giving her more feed or more food during the day but if she is to full she wont settle and ends up throwing it all back up again x
MY SON SLEEPS GREAT NOW FROM YOUR TIPS, THANK YOU. BUT ! FOR A 2 YEAR OLD HE SNORES, QUITE LOUD FOR A LITTLE BOY. DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOMETHING WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT?
My son is almost 7 months old now and still wants to feed 2-3 times in the night. My doctor says that he doesn’t need to feed in the night anymore. How do I stop the night feedings? Should I stop him cold turkey or slowly wean? What is the best approach?
I am hunters human dummy. And doesn’t sleep through the night. He doesn’t like any formulas and dark blue milk he won’t any of them. What can i do?
My son is 15 months old and a relatively good sleeper. Recently he’s started waking up at between2-4am every night crying. At first we thought it was a bad dream or teething. However, we gave him a bottle the other night as he was clearly hungry and he settled straight away. Now this keeps happening. I don’t want him to think that 4am is part of his routine for feeding. Feel like we’ve regressed back to when he was a little baby. What do you advise?
My 6 month old son sleeps in his crib and has from about 6 weeks. The problem I have is that he goes to sleep between 8-9pm and wakes up aprox. 30-45 minutes later every night, waking up every 30-60 minutes until about 11-12am. I go into his room and try to sooth him while he is in the crib, but that rarely works, I have to pick him up and rock him back to sleep… I have to go back 3-4 times until he is out, he then sleeps until about 4am and wakes for a feeding and then 6am and then usually gets up around 8am.
I am not sure what I am doing wrong???? At 6 months it seems cruel to leave him in the crib crying. I have tried and he just screams and sobs uncontrollably.
He has stopped taking his soother about 1 month ago, but last night he did take it, but once it fell out of his mouth he started crying again.
HELP. :)
My son Evan is 14 months and has never slept through the night IN HIS OWN CRIB. He will sleep fine in my bed and will go back to sleep if I go in and pat his back or pick him up and put him back down. He is clingy throughout the day as well and will cry if I start to even walk away. This night waking happens about 3 times a night and if I let him cry he wakes up my 5 year old and possibly my neighbors next to me (we live in a town house).
My son Joaquin is 9 months old. He has never slept through the night. He wakes around 6 am and only takes two 30 minute naps during the day. He will not go down for the night until 10 pm or later. We are moving to central Asia in August where the time difference is 12 hours. Can you help me to get my son on a fresh, successful sleep schedule quickly once we get to Central Asia?
Hi Dana,
I have a 4 month old daughter that we have been trying to improve her sleep routine. We have implemented the bedtime and nap time routines which are working well and she is only up once in the night to feed now and is waking up between 5:30 and 7:00 in the morning. My question is about naps. I have been putting her down for naps as soon as she looks tired which has been working well for the most part. Except that her naps are very inconsistent. Sometimes she will sleep for only 30-40 minutes then others she can go for upwards of 2.5 hours. This makes it difficult to plan out any sort of activity during the day and we have often run into the situation where she finishes her second nap at around 3 or 4 pm, is in need of another nap around 5 or 6 but this is getting close to her bedtime of 7:00pm. My husband and I are unsure if we should be putting her down for another nap so late in the day, letting her ‘cat nap’ or putting her to bed earlier than her scheduled bedtime. We have tried all of these options and none seem to be the right thing to do… putting her to bed earlier just means she is awake earlier for her feed during the night and putting her down for a late nap has meant waking her up just to get ready for bed (at which point she is wide awake and not wanting to go to bed!) Please help, Thanks! Kelly
My 5 month old refuses to sleep in the day unless its in the car or being pushed in his pram. I’ve tried putting him in his cot awake which is what we do at night and 9 times out of 10 he’ll fall asleep on his own but won;t do it in the day. Also he used to be a really good sleeper going from 8pm to 3-4am, feeding anbd then sleeping another 2-3 hours but hasn’t done this for weeks. I’ve tried baby rice at night but that doesn’t work
hi again
Vanessa is sleeping ok, but we are going away for a month to see family and I am so worried about her sleep and what impact lack of sleep is going to have on her behaviour. please help any tips much welcome.
thanx elizabeth
My 8 month old daughter, Olivia, has stopped taking naps for me during the day on the weekends. She stays in an in-home daycare during the week and does great over there, but when she stays with my parents one day a week and with me on the weekends, she will not go down for a nap. I’ve tried making the room darker, making the room brighter, turning on music like her nanny does, putting toys in her crib to play until she falls asleep, taking the toys out, and none of it works. She just sits there and cries and cries – I’ve let her cry for up to 45 minutes before (of course checking on her periodically to make sure she’s okay), and she won’t give up. Should I just be okay with her not napping on those days, even though she’s tired and cranky, or is there a trick to getting her to sleep for me, too? At bedtime, I put her in her crib awake, and she usually doesn’t protest at all, so I’m not understanding the nap issues. Thanks!
My 7 month old is teething and I was wondering if it’s normal for him not to want to take his naps during the day. Lots of fussing and crying! I am trying to figure out if it’s because of the teething or he just doesn’t want to take the naps???
Hi…My daughter is having a hard time establishing a bed time. Liam’s (1yr) room is the dining room, they only have a one bedroom apt., so there is no way to shut the door to give him a quiet place. Any suggestions?
Dana,
I’ve left a comment already, but things are getting worse and I have no idea what to do. My 6mo old son, Jacob, has never been a good sleeper…he’ll sleep for short periods of time (20-30min) during the day and that’s it, always waking up happy though, as if that’s all the sleep he needs. At night, for the last few months, he cries in his sleep. It took awhile to realize he was actually still sleeping, after realizing that we just let him cry and he eventually goes back to sleep. Lately, however, it’s gotten worse. He’s only quiet for 40min – an hour at a time, then cries again…sometimes the cry lasts 15min sometimes 30, other times he eventually wakes up. He goes to bed around 7:30-8 each night very regulary, he’ll fall asleep on his own in his crib, I even wake him up if he falls asleep during his last feeding, so that he’s awake when he goes in his bed..he is up crying by 9:30, and this goes on all night. Usually he’ll do good for 5-6 hours from around midnight-6, but that’s stopped now. I don’t know what else to do, I don’t pick him up unless it gets really bad, and we’re dealing with bad eczema on his cheek that is infected so sometimes I have to go in there to stop him from rubbing it. I just have no clue what to do. His naps are just as bad now, waking up cranky…I leave him in there hoping he’ll go back to sleep, but he never does. Help!
Laura Harper
Dear Dana,
Your email information seem to interesting me already.
My question for Grace’s sleep is:
She doesn’t drink up to the amount she should have for her months old and she seems to drink better in half sleep, that why I always give her a bottle when she is ready to take a nap or bedtime. What should I do? My worries that she would be hungry at night.
Thanks
Esther
Hi Dana,
I live a very busy life which |I can’t afford to change at the moment. Matthew sleeps well in the evening and goes to sleep around 8pm after his bedtime routine. His daily naps are not so good though. Ironically at work I have a nanny who takes him to the park so he sleeps 2-3 times a day for at least an hour. When I’m working from home he’ll sleep an hour in the morning (around 10am, he wakes around 6am) but after that he doesn’t even though he’s tired. He’ll sleep 15-20minutes but no more.
Many Thanks!
My daughter is just over a month old. She sleeps well at night already and has two stints of 4 hour sleeps. The problem is she just wants to suck all the time and seems to want to suck her own fingers but can’t. I’ve tried a dummy but she doesn’t like it. She’ll only get to sleep sucking my finger whilst lying in her cot.She’ll only take 10 to 15 minutes getting to sleep and then i can remove my finger. How do I get her to not want to suck my finger? Should i encourage her to suck her own fingers as she gets older?
help! my daughter is almost 15 months old and STILL cant fall asleep without sucking on MY finger! Recently she’s been waking up a LOT at night, and i think soome of this may be because she “needs” the finger to fall back asleep. I dont know what to do anymore! Did you ever figure out a way to get your child to stop? help!
My daughter skylar also pushes her limits at bed time, except it is harder for me because she sleepin in a bed.. she sleeps great through the nigh however it is getting her there what should I do?
Madison is 6 years old. I have visitation every-other weekend except when school is out then I get her for a full week 4 times. She spends most of her time with her mother and a babysitter. Her mother has always let Madison sleep with her. When I have her I try to get her to sleep in her own bed in her own room by herself. That is where the problem is.
I don’t like to have her go to sleep crying. She loves it here with me and does not like to go to her mothers place. She is living under two sets of rules.
How can you help?
Roger
My son Liam is waking in the middle of the night and he refuses to go back to sleep. When we put him down at night he goes into the crib and we sit in the room until he falls asleep. We are having a hard time simply putting him down and then just leaving the room, so when he wakes in the middle of the night and finds us not in the room he cries and won’t go back to sleep until we come in and sit again until he falls back to sleep or simply refuses to go back to sleep at all or until he comes out of the crib and back into our bed. HELP!!
Luna is a great sleeper, but we’re having nap issues.
First, she is almost 10 months old and sleeps 10-12 hours every night. I put her down around 7:30 and she sleeps until 7:30-8:00.
I give her a nap at home, in her crib, for about 2 hours from 11 – 1. This nap was once at 10-12, but she would not sleep so early, so we moved it an hour.
My husband and I own a store and must take her with us most days. She pretty much refuses to nap at the store. I have a play yard in a back room and we tried a routine like we have at home, but she screams at the top of her lungs when we try to put her down for a second nap there.
Unfortunately, we can’t let her scream at the store, so I end up putting her in her Baby Bjorn and she’ll sometimes nap.
My main concern is that she’s quickly getting too big for the Baby Bjorn, and I need some advice.
My doctor said that she was getting enough sleep, but she seems really cranky around 5, and we can’t bring her home to go to sleep until around 7.
Thank you for considering my question.
i’ve got my son going to sleep at 7 and doesn’t have any feeds through the night but i’ve got into a terrible way of geting him back off to sleep when he wakes through the night. i have to rub his back so he falls back of to sleep again what can i do so that he doesn’t wake through the night?
My 3 1/2 month old son just started having a middle of the night (very messy) poop. Sometimes it’s during the middle of the night feeding sometimes not. In order to change him (sometimes have to change the pjs and all) I have to turn on a slightly brighter light to see the real mess. So then he wakes up all the way, and then last night he wanted to eat (again) at that time, and it seemed to be the only way to get back to sleep. What do I do with the midnight poop disasters?
your site is very interesting, Madeline is sleeping very good, she got moved to a different room and that is all it took, now her brother is in that room and is having trouble, it used to be grammas bedroom and she passed on 2 years ago and there seems to be some strange things that go on like noises are heard over the moniter at different times and so I think Ben who is a year and a half may have to be moved out also.
Dana- I am in a tough spot. I have a 15 onth old daughter who has slept with me from day one. She has to sleep curled up right next to my chest and I cant move all night or she awakes screaming. She is my last baby and I cant beleive I did this. My other two slept in their own beds. I have a toddler bed next to mine but she will awake and crawl up next to me. She has never slept in her beautiful nursery either. I am desperate at this point! Please help!
I have a very similar issue with my 2 1/2 year old boy – but he is not in a crib and has not been since 2 – he kept climbing out and risking injury. Once he is asleep he sleeps well – the occasional time he will wake up and expect us to lay with him .
What routine do you suggest in a regular bed that he can also open the bedroom door?
Also, I find that whenever he gets to bed before 9:30 or 10 p.m. he is wide awake and ready to go by 4 or 5 in the am which is way too early!
I have a 10 month old boy and he wakes up once or twice a night. I have to go into his room and hush him to slepp whilst he lies in his cot. Why wont he sleep through the night? How do i get him to put himself back to sleep?
Hi,
Our son knows how to climb out of the crib. He just turned 2 and first climbed out at 15 months. We put a netted tent over the crib but now he knows how to unzip it so basically we let him fall asleep on the floor of the nursery with me sitting next to him and then my husband carries him over to the crib and zips him in. He usually sleeps through the night and as soon as we hear the zipper on the monitor, we run in and get him. We have a mattreess to convert the crib to a big boy bed but we are afraid to let him sleep on it just yet as he’ll try to jump on the bed or climb on the rocker in the room. any suggestions.
My 18 month old son has been sleeping at 8pm. Before he goes to bed, i give him a bottle. After 3am he would wake up and fuss and ask for a bottle so i give him some. I only do so because he does not eat solid food very good during the day. What should I do to make this stop?
What an appropriate email: Thank you!
MY Galleni has but turned into a monster with the bedtime thing.
I emailed you a while ago about if it was ok to give her a book and maybe leave the light on for her to settle and go to bed… but I never got an answer.
anyway,
I had this sense yesterday, so I let her cry till she fell asleep. I figured she had retrieved the upper hand lately as she just will delay bedtime and cry for no good reason.
Yes, I am still doing the routine.
I do want to ask: how can I get her to catch up on sleep when we have a late night out and she goes to be bed at like 9:30 instead of 7?
Can I shift her to a later bedtime spot for summer and then switch her back?
I also put cardboard in the window for her to sleep at nap and night time.
let me know PLEASE
and thank you
Maria
My son Connor, who will be two in August, was recently awakened during a very loud thunderstorm. He was very scared and shaking and now is afraid of the “boom boom”. He used to go down for his nap/bedtime very easily but now cries and clings to my husband or myself whenever we try to put him down. We have been putting him in his crib and after a short period of him crying, we will call into his room telling him that he is o.k. and that we are right outside. He eventually will fall asleep but this process goes on for a while before he does. And he wakes up from his nap or in the morning crying, seeming to be afraid and mentions the “boom booms” when he used to wake up happy. Do you have any help/suggestions to turn his sleeping back into a positive experience and are we doing the right thing by calling in to his room or should we be sitting in his room with him for a while? Thank you in advance.
Not only can I not get my 3 1/2 year old out of the habit of sleeping in my bed, if he wakes up and Im not in the bed or room with him because im in the den with friends, he’ll come running out of the room angry, screaming and crying and will refuse to calm down or go back to the room unless i come and lay down with him,which pretty much cuts short my evening with friends. Being a single mom, I admit getting him into bad sleeping habits but now Im afraid its to the point where its out od control and irreversable. Help!!
I know you don’t believe in the cry it out method. Am I supposed to let him cry no more than 10-15 minutes, go check on him and then leave and keep repeating this process until he goes to sleep. (he’s 7 months old) and I need a good routine that’s easy to put him to bed, especially if we have sitters. I want it easy for them as well to put our baby to bed.
Ella, 4 months old, wakes up when I try to put her down for her day naps and will cry unless I am holding her for her entire nap. Night time sleeping is not a problem – once she is down anywhere from 9pm-9:45pm, she’s down for the night until around 5 am, then back down until around 8am-9am. But during the day, she just will not sleep on her own. When I’ve successfully put her down, she’ll awake within 20 minutes. How am I to put her down and keep her asleep for 1-2 hours? She’s in a room away from noise and I turn the exhaust fan on in the bathroom for quiet white noise.
Thanks! Karen
My 19-month old baby girl still uses her pacifier to fall as sleep. I want to take away from her but it seems like Mission Imposible! She only use to fall asleep at night, at daycare they keep telling she doesn’t use it and that she naps fine without it. Last night we put her to sleep without it and she vomited two times because she was crying and angry asking for her paci. We ended up giving to her again. I’ve truly have tried everything: I cut the tip, but she still want it. Please help me out
Th
My son Lincoln is 16 months and I would like to know when will he start to sleep thou the night? I know a few people who have children around the same age as my son that sleep thought the night.
Thanks,
My 16 month old daughter, Katie, has been very good up to now with her sleeping.She has a nap in the morning and we have a strict bedtime routine in the evening with bath,story,milk bed process which begins at 6.15pm and ends at 7.00pm.She goes to sleep just fine, now she has started to wake at about 10.30pm every night and the only way to pacify her is to take her into bed with us.We are fed up with this.I have tried putting her back and going back at 5min intervals etc but it seems to have no effect.
Am I missing something?
Neill
Hi Dana,
My son is 19 months old and adorable. He just started sleeping through the night at 16 monnths. Night time was very difficult for a long time I tried everything, I couldn’t go more than 45 minutes wiht the cry it out method without giving in, I was so tired. it was terrible. In desperation we brought him in our bed and gradually we finally started sleeping throug the night. We would like him to sleep in his own bed. You’ve covered this before, but it’s been hard on the marriage. My son will screan until he vomits. We started a daycare ( he has been with a nanny). and I have alread had to pick him up twice becasue he has cried so hard that he’s thrown up. He sleeps beautifully during naptime at home if he is tricked into falling asleep (car, stroller, bottle (sigh, yes sometimes we give him a bottle still). At school, he totally loses it at nap time and has no idea how to handle it, but he isn’t liking anything about daycare. I was too exhausted to let him scream to teach him to sleep (I work full time) but We’ve gotta solve this problem so he can handle day care and bed time. what do you think?
Kimberly
Elias will be 3 months old on the 17th of July. For the last 3or4 Sundays that I baby sat (I am actually the Grandma), he slept for 8 hours straight. But the last few nights he’s up in 6. Should we be counting are blessings instead of complaining, or wondering why?
our son always slept very “deep”. At 4 months he finally wanted to stop being swaddled (yeah!). However, since then he sleeps SO lightly that everything wakes him (even things like the A/C turning on). Now at almost 6 months he doesn’t get that deep sleep. He doesn’t fuss and want to get up, but isn’t well rested in the morning. Help!
I have a 7 1/2 month old baby girl who does not like to sleep. She goes to bed at around 7:30 sleeps good till about 11pm then every hour she is awake. I go into her room and give her her soother and she goes back to sleep, just to wake up again in 1 hour.
She awakes for the day at 6am. Durning the day she may have two naps which are only for 20mins or 1/2 hour. Don’t small babies need more sleep then that? I know I do!!!!
Feeling really tired Michelle
My 15 month old is waking anywhere between 4.30 and 5.30 each morning. He goes to bed every night at 7pm without fail or fuss (we’ve tried keeping him up later but he’s exhausted). Some mornings (i.e. today) he woke at half 4 and we left him for around half an hour to see if he would drop back off on his own but just screamed the whole time and became very distressed. Eventually I went in and gave him milk then he went back to sleep until 7.45 but normally he absolutely won’t go back to sleep for at least 2 hours. He clearly needs to sleep till at least 6.30 as he’s usually quite grumpy but I have no idea how to get him to stay asleep or go back to sleep. He has a dummy / soother and a snuggle blanket but they both get thrown across the room as his crying builds which is obviously an attempt at getting our attention but it’s very difficult to leave him when he’s becoming hysterical.
my 9 month old daughter has to have a bottle to fall asleep. she fights her sleep so much, the only way to get her to sleep is to give her a bottle. any suggestions??
My 3 mo. old falls asleep on her own for a nap with little help from me but can’t seem to do the same when it comes to bedtime. She needs me to hold her so she can fall asleep. I need help! Is it normal for her to wake up once in the middle of the night if she goes to bed at 8:30pm?
My 2 year old goes to bed fine but wants to start his day between 4am and 5am every morning. We are at our wits end. Please advise!!
my 3 1/2 year old daughter seems to have dreams/nightmares which are waking her at more or less the same time every night – 1030 and 2am – she screams and screams til I go to her room and then refuses to go back to sleep unless I go sleep with her or she sleeps with us. She often is awake, tossing and turning for hours – asking for milk to drink or to go to the toilet or to go watch tv. We are exhausted as this has been going on for months and getting worse – is it possible for a child to suffer with insomnia? We have a baby too who sleeps well and we don’t want her sleep disturbed every night so tend to get up to Elizabeth before she wakes the entire household. We desparately need some help. She goes to bed reasonably well at around 7.30pm every night – but I just know shes not going to stay asleep – I’ve begun to dread the nights – I never get more than 2 hours sleep at a time!
My 2 year old goes to bed fine. However he wakes up between 4am and 5am and wants to start his day. We are at our wits end, please advise!! thanks in anticipation.
Karen, Liverpool
I just switched my 27th month old son, Milo, out of the crib and into a twin bed. I also got him off the bottle (finally). I did both at the same time and it worked really well. The reason I put him in a big bed was because he climbed out of his crib and into my bed EVERYNIGHT! I was hoping the new bed would be exciting and he would stay there, but it didn’t work. Now he is either in my bed or I am in his.
How can I get him to sleep in his own bed? He won’t stay there unless my husband or myself is there. Help!
About 2 months ago, my toddler ( 16 months )started waking in the middle of the night screaming. He used to sleep through the night, now he is up every night crying. When he first started this, it startled us so we ran into his room and got him out of his crib thinking his gums were bothering him or something was really wrong. He has continued this ritual every night. He knows how to put himself to sleep but I don’t know why he wakes in the middle of the night and won’t go back to sleep with out my husband or me going into the room and picking him up.
How do I get my 3 year old daughter out of the habit of me sleepine with her.
My daughter is 23 months old…when i had my son 5 months ago my husband started laying with her to get her to sleep…now she wakes up after an hr of sleeping wanting someone to sleep with her and if one of us doesnt she has a fit…after an hour and a half she usually goes to sleep then wakes up again…now my husband is starting to bring to bed with us…what to do?
I just submitted a question and had an old email address. Above is the correct one. My apologies.
Lara
I am experienceing this exact scenario with my 22 month old. We stopped her nap about 3 months ago to try to make bedtime easier – it has had little impact and we are now battling to put her down for a nap in the early afternoon.
At bedtime, she has started climbing out of her cot, so the side is now off and she also climbs over a stair gate. We have had to resort to holding the bedroom door closed whilst she screams on the other side before she will give in and go to sleep.
Either my husband or I have tried sitting with her – the result has been that we spend a minimum of an hour in her room and she lies in bed singing, we become frustrated and leave the room – net result screaming starts at 8 not 7. This pattern is repeated in the night – general waking time is 3.10am.
She has an older sister and we have always had a bedtime routine for both of them, but Lottie is now running the show and we seem to be powerless to maintain control without resorting to what feels like draconian measures. Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi!
My name is Lara and I am a first time mother of an almost 7 month old Keegan. He is a great baby however he is not sleeping through the night yet. We have had a night here and there where he will sleep from around 6:45pm til 5am – yeah. Now here is my question. We have established a bedtime routine which is as follows: we start with a quick bath, then he gets a massage (has dry skin so we cream him up), put on his PJ’s, then he is breast fed, placed in his crib awake and then we say our prayers and it is lights out and time for bed. He will usually fall asleep within about 10-15minutes. Now this is the tricky part some nights he wakes up at 1130pm other nights at 1am for a feed. I have tried to let him cry for a few minutes bf going in to see if he will go back to sleep but no luck he cries and cries. I have tried to give him a pacifier and leave the room sometimes he will fall back asleep for 30minutes but then is up and ready to eat. He will eat for a good 10 minutes. If the pacifier doesnt work I will then feed him. Now after he eats I try to put him back in his crib as awake as I can and he goes right back to sleep. This sometimes only happens once a night and other times 2-3 times. At his age he should be sleeping better. He has recently started solids and he can eat. So is he just not getting enough food during the day? Please help. I long for a full nights sleep more than once in a blue moon. Thank you for answering my concern, what do I do differently????
My 3 1/2 year old has yet to sleep through the night. She wakes up 2 to 3 times a night. I usually just have to walk her back to her room and she will go back to sleep, but some nights she screems and yells and says she does not want to sleep, she sleeps with her 2 year old sister who is a great sleeper unitl her sister starts screaming. I dont know what to do anymore, I am soooo tired! Please help.
Cheryl, I feel your pain. My twin girls are three years old and they do the same thing. I haven’t had a night sleeps since they were born and I am so tired. Putting them to bed is like a circus and once they fall asleep, they wake up about 2 to 3 times a night crying for me. I spend so much time trying to get them to sleep that it’s fraustrating. It takes about 1 – 1 1/2 hour for them to fall asleep at bedtime and about 1/2 each time the wake up. They scream bloody murder if I leave the room and I don’t know what to do to fix it. So let me know if you figure out something.
Thanks
Natasha
Tianna wakes up every morning at 3am call my name to come and get her. Once I go and get her she goes back to sleep in my bed. What can I do? Help!!
Sleepless.
I need help getting my lil boy to sleep past 6am
hi sam, i had the same problem wit my 19month old daughter,she used to go to bed everynight at 8 and wake at 7,so tiring,so i kept her up longer 1st half 8,then 9 now she goes to bed every nite at half past 9 and mite wake once for her juice which i leave in her cot,and we dont usually get up till 11,but the best thing i ever bought was,black out blinds, day or night when there closed she constantly thinks its nite time,so she sleeps untill i start stirrin which is fab,hope something wrks for u..
ever since my 10 month old daughter drew was 1 month old, we’ve had to give her naps, solely in our arms, bouncing on an exercise ball… its the only thing that works. at night drew sleeps in bed with my husband and i, we’ve tried the crib, and shes become a crib climber, were nervous shell hurt herself falling out, can we try a todler bed? or is that worse… and after a half hour asleep in the crib (after already crying for 40 mins) she will re awaken with a burst of energy to scream even louder and longer. its our fault for sleeping with her we realize, but how will we ever get her out of bed? we would most like to drop the 3 naps a day on the ball, our backs kill, and we want her to like her crib. please help!
I am the person in our house who puts my grandson to bed, I won’t go into why
He is almost eighteen months old
I have put him to bed since he was one, rocking him and singing a couple of lullabys till he went to sleep which was always very quickly
He got to the point where he slept right through the night without waking up
Now he is a little older he seems to not want to be rocked so I hold for a short time then put him down in his bed and I stay with him till he goes to sleep
Well, now it takes an absolute age for him to go to sleep and leaving him doesn’t work
To add to this, since he was ill a few months ago he hasn’t slept right through the night except for a couple of times
I’m really not sure how to change the bedtime routine. Can you offer advice?