Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from Melissa. Her daughter WAS sleeping through the night — until the arrival of her new baby brother! She writes:
“Hi, thanks for this videos — they helped a lot. Elise was sleeping through the night until the second week after her new baby brother came home. Now she does not want to go into her crib and is screaming for hours. She sometimes wakes once in the night and we have ended up bringing her into our bed. We are wondering if maybe she needs a toddler bed because she always seems to try to sleep in our bed? I just do not know what to do anymore… Please help!”
Often, what people end up doing is moving their toddler into a toddler bed before a new baby shows up because they need the crib for the new baby. I recommend that people don’t do that because I think that anything before two and half or three years old, is too soon to move to a toddler bed. Unless you have a toddler who is leaping out head first and you are worried about their safety, there is really no need to move if the child is happy in the crib. There is nothing wrong with them staying in the crib. I find that the closer to three that you can get, the better able the child is to understand the consequences of getting out of bed and understand the rules and the transition goes so much smoother.
Anything before around even the age of two, and I just find they cannot resist getting out of their beds and you get night visits. That can be really frustrating, so definitely do not move her to a toddler bed because it is not likely going to help. In fact, it may just make matters worse. Now that the new baby has come what may tend to happen is a regression in either sleep or potty training and it happens almost all the time. It is just a response to the change, to the new family member. If she was potty trained and a new baby comes, she might no longer be interested in going to the bathroom on the potty. Often if they are sleeping well before the new sibling, they decide all of a sudden they are not going to go to bed. The baby does not go to bed, so she does not want to anymore either.
I can remember my son when he was two and a half and his baby brother showed up. He went through a good week of screaming pretty intently at bed time. He just did not want to go. It really was in response to any family member and what I kept in mind was he that he was testing some boundaries. I did not want to have those boundaries shift because then I would worry that he would start to think that our rules were no longer rules. “Not only is there this new little person in my world but now what used be a rule is longer a rule. Who knows what the rules are and how many things can I get away with and I am just going to keep trying!”
I found that the behavior started out with just bed time and then it was temper tantrums through the day, and “I want more cookies!” It can just snowball.
What you need to remember when a new baby comes is that you really have to hang on tight to your boundaries. You cannot let things shift and slide and then bend rules here and there because you felt guilty for brining this new little person into her world. You have to hang on tight to boundaries otherwise a child will feel even more insecure. She pushes a boundary and all of a sudden it changes and it shifts. Now what? You are going to have to be firm with rules about the bedtime routine and about your expectations for her sleep. It might make the transition a little bit easier if you stay in the room with her when she is going to sleep; you could do the whole process of spending a night or two sitting beside her crib. Then move to the middle of the room, then a night or two by the door, a night or two just around but outside of the door and finally the hallway, just to get her over the apprehension she has about going to bed.
For the night wakeups, you are going to have to handle them and the same way, do not start bringing her to your bed. After a few nights in your bed and it is even harder to get her out of your bed, so be cautious. Again, you do not want to be inconsistent with how you handle things and I am guessing she did not used to come to your bed and now all of a sudden she can. You do not want to make her insecurity worse by all of a sudden changing your rules for her. I always suggest people alleviate their guilt in other ways – by making a little mommy-daughter time, going to the park together, or just taking her for ice cream. Definitely give her the attention she is craving, but in different ways than at bed time.
I hope that helps get you back on track with Elise. Thanks for your question and sleep well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
I have a 9 month old who will only fall asleep with me holding her. I go to lay her down in her bed and she will wake up and cry. She will wake up 3-10 times a night, and we give her a pacifier. She will usually fall back asleep but not she is able to stand up in the crib she acts like she is wide awake and ready to go. How do I get her to fall asleep by just laying her in the crib? And, should we rush in there right away every time she wakes and give her a pacifier?
I have a 3 month old and she will fall asleep around 8 or 9, but then only sleeps till about 1 or 2am eats and gets up again in about 2 or 3 hours. I’m so sleep deprived! What can I do to have her sleep though the night?
Thank you,
Rachel has got her first tooth through and seems now to have gotten into the habit of wakening every 3 hours at night, please help upto a month ago she slept from 9 to 6. She is eating some solid food and I have even tried good night formula milk but to no avail she still decides that she is hungry at 5. She will not sleep flat during the day for her naps she sleeps in a chair. Please help
My five month old falls a sleep and wakes up once during the night. I try to pat his butt, have fed him and tried others things but he does not fall back to sleep right away. If I let him cried, he will cry til he throws up. What do I do<
Hi
My 7 month old baby has always woken up on and off all night long. i am a nneb nursery nurse and i have tried every trick in the book. I think alot of his waking is to do with his teething which started early on, and of course his night feed. but i stuck to everything religiously and he still wakes up. He goes to bed no problem its just keeping him there thats the key? In the end i have to bring him into our bed which i know defeats the object but im that tired after 7 months of no sleep. Even when he is in with us hes thrashing about, i offer him water, dummy but i think its his teeth as he eats well and has plenty of milk. Im wondering if this is apparent to alot of other parents who’s babys dont sleep through because it could be there teeth.
My 10-month old daughter has acid reflux related to TEF/EA, for which she had surgery on her esophagus the day after she was born. I know we have spoiled her by holding her to get her to sleep, but we feel like she wakes up because of the reflux and can’t get back to sleep alone without help. She cries and throws up as soon as we put her in her crib unless we wait at least 3-4 hours after she finishes her last bottle. Can your program work for her?
I need help as my daughter who is two refuses to sleep in her own bed. she just screams and as i work I find this quite difficult as i need to get sleep.
Hi, just a quick question. My daughter Rylie is a good sleeper but recently she cut her sleeping time . She stopped taking naps when she turned two which was this August. She was sleeping 8:00 pm to 9:00 am and no naps. For a few weeks now she is sleeping from 8:00 pm to 7:00. Should I try and make her take a nap again? I feel she isn’t getting enough sleep. Please let me know what I should do. Thank you so much for all your help. Anita
Hi Dana. Thanks for your blog. My daughter Amelie is 9 months old and wakes 1-10 times a night. She falls asleep independently in her cot at bedtime but then wakes several times overnight fussing and moving about the cot and doesn’t seem to be able to get back to sleep herself. All it takes to resettle is me going into the room, moving her back to the foot of her crib and resting my hand on her and she goes back to sleep, problem is I have to do this so many times a night I am exhausted. What do you think the problem is and how should I fix it?
I have twin girls Alya, and Haya, they are 14 months now.Haya has been sleeping through the night from 7 months old, as for alya, she is always been a bad sleeper. Alya would wake up atleast twice a night, screaming for someone for me to pick her up. i tried leaving her to cry but she would cry untill she would vomit.Once she cried for a good two hours.She is ok going to sleep in her crib with me singing to her, but the problem is when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I had to travel for 7 days and her dad got her use to going back to sleep in her crib without him picking her up, but as i came back she became worse, as she wouldn’t calm down unless i put her in the bed with me.and she started to wake her sister up from her screams.HELP ME PLEASE
Dear Dana,
My four month daughter has been on a routine for a month now. She struggles with her sleep at night, waking up up to three times, due to two reasons I am acutely aware of. The first one is a pacifier, which she demands whenever she wakes up. Because I know that her dummy is one of the culprits, depriving her of both a good day and night sleep, I have recently decided to eliminate it totally. It is going to be a hell of a task, but I will try to do my best to win. The second issue, however, is something I have not got the foggiest idea of how to tackle: wind. Olivia is a very good feeder- you can hear when she feeds, but that means she swallows a lot of air. During the day she has no problem burping herself, but after I have given her her dream feed at 11 p.m., trust me I must spend over an hour trying to burp her properly. She is so overtired after the whole day of fighting her sleep that her body is just switched off and will not cooperate with me. Eventually, once she has given the biggest burp, there are still million of little air bubbles bothering her. I normally breastfeed her, but for her 7 and 11 p.m. feeds I apply formula Cow and Gate Comfort 1. In order to aid her wind I add gripe water into her formula but even this does not do the job. I know that it is not the formula that is the problem. I have even tried not burping her after her feed and just letting her go back to sleep, but after 5 mins she would wake up pulling her legs up. That is the way every night looks like and I really hate this time of the day. By trying my hardest to burp her gently and put back to her well-deaserved sleep, instead I must be putting her poor little body in many different positions- eventually doing everything to disturb her sleep, wake her up totally and then struggle for the rest of the night. Both me and Olivia need help desperately as we both suffer from sleep-deprivation and exhaustion. How to solve her wind problem? Help us, please.
Agnieszka
UK
Hannah is 3 yrs old and has never slept well. Even if she was with me she would wake 4-5 times a night. She has her own large bed made just the way she likes it but she wakes at least twice to use the bathroom and then 2 -3 more times for various reasons. She doens’t get out of bed but cries until one of us goes in and fixes what ever the problem is. I can’t let her get hysterical because she wakes the other children. I don’t understand why she doesn’t sleep soundly. And I am so tired now I can’t function properly myself.
hi, my daughter is 18 months old, since she was born she has always been a terrible sleeper, obviously i put it down to her being young at the time, but now it feels even worse, she will go to sleep if i lay next to her, when she finally goes to sleep i’ll sit in the living room with my partner, the moment she wakes up and realises i’m not in the bed she screams the whole house down, i’ve tried everything, from leaving the door open, having a night light in the room, having it dark, quiet, noisy, etc…. nothing seems to work and eventually she’s in the living room running round with so much energy, me and my partner are going out of our minds, we can’t have any time together what so ever, and family and friends refuse to have her because she refuses to sleep, PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!
My son is 3 1/2 months old and has been rolling over for about a month now. Everytime he rolls over it wakes him up. He also fights me rolling him back over for a little bit. I cant get more than a couple hours sleep at a time. Is this a phase or is there something I need to be doing? Im SOOO tired during the days now!
What advice do you have on separation anxiety. I believe my almost seven month old son doesn’t sleep through the night because I have started back working (when he was 5 and a half months) and am gone about 10 hours a day when he was used to seeing me everyday all day. He stays with my mother in the day whom he completely adores. I think my son believes she’s the next best thing to my husband and me. He’s so happy with her, so I don’t think his child care provider is the issue for his waking up at night always looking for me and just wanting to lay on me.
Hi Dana. My daughter is 3 1/2 months old and is having two to three naps a day. It took me a long time and a lot of effort for her to take these naps in her crib but now that I have overcome that obstacle my new problem is that she wakes after only one sleep cycle (approx. 40-50mins). This length if time is not enough for her to wake fully rested and often when I try to resettle her I have no luck. Sometimes she will resettle but often I end up getting her out of bed and cuddling her back to sleep in my arms. My daughter always goes in her cot awake so she can settle herself and does not have this problem overnight. What can I do to encourage longer daytime naps in her crib?
Miraan s 19 months old and he still gets up during the night to take a feed (he is bottle fed). When should night time feeding stop? Will he stop on his own or will i have to make him get used to not taking milk once he ahs slept in the night?
Dana,
Lachlan is a very short napper. He is now 21 weeks. At night, he goes down at 7 and will usually sleep 7 hours, wake to feed, then sleep another 3 or 4. He naps three times a day, but only has one good nap during those. The others are 45 minutes at most. I keep him in the bed a full 60-90 minutes, however. He is never cranky, but is obviously not napping as he should. I set the stage, I don’t wait until he is overtired, he gets exercise. What more can I do to help him nap longer? I can lead him to the crib but I can’t make him nap!
hi i have a 4 month old little girl who now takes a 5oz feed at bed time but wakes several times in the night and will take another 4oz feed at least twice if i try to up her bed time feed will it maybe help her to sleep through for longer maybe even till the morning
thanks
Hello,
Our son is 4 months old and now is sleeping 9 to 10 hours through the night. I allow one small feeding around 10:00/11:00 and put him back to bed without any crutches and he sleeps till 5:00 or 6:00 am depending on the bedtime. I like to get him in the crib around 7:00pm. He has a fussy/crying time of 18-20min. If he goes over that I check to see if its something else bothering him. If he plays around in the crib cooing to himself for a half and hour or so and then starts to cry for a longer period than usual I give him another small feed and put him to bed awake is this okay? This can happen at nap time too. I breastfeed and have recently added formula 6-8oz.(not at same time)
Thanks for your time,
Christa
Dana, Dylan is now 12 weeks old, still suffering from the colic, very gassy and i can’t seem to put him down to sleep on his own, what can i do to change this? I dont want him to get use to us holding him to sleep or using the binky, which he doesn’t take too much, but either swaddling, or puttin him on his belly seems to work, but i have ot put him down while he’s going to sleep, i can’t get to the ‘sleep on his own stage, help.
My baby just turned 1 y o last week and we are still having trouble getting him to sleep thru the night. Most nights he’s ready to go down by 9, which works for the rest of the family but only occasionally will sleep til 4A before wanting to nurse. Most nights he wakes 3-4 times a night and then wakes crying. He is still nursing and seems to be using it as security. He will not settle with daddy going in and rubbing or patting and talking to him and if mommy tries to do the same, he screams til he’s picked up and then wiggles til he finds the position that he knows is to nurse. Oftentimes once he is asleep, if I lay him down he will wake up again before I get out of the room. He eats regular food very well and is taking juice and water from a sippy cup but also will not drink milk. We don’t know what else to do because by 5 or 6A, we are exhausted and he is ready to be up for the day or is in bed with us We’ve tried the suggestions in your book but he is wearing us out and nothing seems to be working.
hello, my daughter is 2 she sleeps with my husband and i because my mom is staying with us. she wakes up at least 4 to 5 times asking for milk. i know that she is uncomfortable sleeping in our bed thats probably why shes waking up. im trying to get her to sleep in a toddler bed next to us until my mom moves i will eventually put her back in her room. so far i had one night of sleeping all through the night the rest of the week she has been waking up in the early am to get in my bed. what do i do?
My son is now 10 months old almost 11 months old. HE has never sleep through the night, and has never (even as a newborn) slept more then 8 or 9 hours a night. Also my son Talon takes short and brief naps once or twice a day for about 20 minutes. Recently after receiving the sleep assessment I do not give him milk at night any longer and switched to water in his bottle only. He is sleeping more sound and his duration of sleep has not imporved. Any more suggestions??
sleep
my son is 2 years old only child.From being 6 months old he as never really slept through the night i put him into his own bed which he likes at 8 o’clock when its time for bed he goes with no problems i just sit on the floor and hold his hand the problem is he wakes up around 3 every night i carnt remember the last time he slept through when he wakes up i go in to him lay him down and sit on the floor and hold his hand and tell him its night night time he goes back to sleep when he realizes im not there he wakes up again after a few times im so tired i end up putting him bed with me and his dad gets in our sons bed i no its a big mistake doing that but its the only way to get some sleep im at the end of my tether i really need some advise please help .
Hi! My son (Hunter) is 16 months old, and I am expecting another baby in April. Hunter slept great in his crib up until 1 month ago-… He will go to sleep in his crib, but by 2:30am he wakes up screaming and will NOT go back to sleep unless he is in our bed. We have let him cry, without picking him up, for nights on end- After about 1 hour, our nerves are shot- and one of us picks him up and holds him until he falls asleep- once asleep, we attempt to lay him in his crib- but it is a no go. He wakes up and starts the whole process over again! What can we do? I am ready to give in & up!
Hi Dana
Molly was a good sleeper until she had an operation at 9 1/2 months old. Since then her eating habits have changed dramatically as well as her sleep pattern. She is now 13 months old and is waking at least 3-4 times every night. She has become a very clingy child and won’t go to her her daddy so at night i am the only one who can pacify her. She is now in a toddler bed as she screamed every time she was put in her crib. She doesn’t get out of bed when she wakes but she sits and cries each time. Her room is next to her brother and her dad has to get up for work at 5am, 6 days a week so I automatically go straight into her to quieten her down. She has taken to having a few ounces of her bottle every time she wakes. My question is, how can i get her through the night without disturbing the others. I am really exhausted and fraught and am due to go back to work soon but cannot see how i will cope if she is still waking this many times. Please help as i am desperate. Even during the day at home i cannot move around the house without her clinging to me. HELP!!!!!!!!!!
Dawn
Dana, just wanted to let you know that my son Pearson(4yrs) is now going to sleep on his own, with out the cuddle and lay with him to sleep. He is figuring out he is a big boy. Plus he kept saying his bed was always cold. We finally found him some fleece sheet plus warm up his bed ahead of time with a hot water bottle. I can now go to be on my time and not his. It is great.
Hi Dana, I have been watching your video’s and have gotten Dawson to go to sleep on his own at bedtime and during naps without having to nurs him. So thank you for that. My problem now is that when Dawson wakes during the night he won’t go back to sleep on his own. After about 45 minutes of laying him back down time after time after time. I end up nursing him and I will do this twice during the night. I need some advice on what to do. I can’t move him out of our room for another couple months as we are under renovations. Dawson is 10 months old. Thanks
My son is 2mths old and a terrible sleeper. He fusses in my arms with a soother while I rock him. He eventually goes to sleep. I then transfer him to his bassinet only to have him wake as soon as he hits the matterss. We then go through the whole routine all over again. I eventually end up sleeping with him on my chest in a recliner so we can all get some sleep. Help!!!
hi, just a question my son is 19 months with 2 older siblings, richard would not go to sleep early, during the day he’s home with dad, he takes onenap for 15 minutes, and then he up allnight until 2A.M. when i shut the light off he wants to play and there fighting between child and mom
my husband andi live in a 1 bdrm apartment with his dad. we are not allowed to let our 8 month old daughter cry at night and i have been letting her sleep with me and nurse all night to keep her quiet. we don’t get much sleep and she cat naps during the day. I’m not sure how to get her to sleep in her bed without the crying battle. this has been this way since birth! HELP!!!!!!!
Dana,
I’ve been trying to wean Jade from the breast , but she still needs it to go to sleep on. She does this for naps and at bedtime. How do I get her to nap on her own? She also won’t take a nap when her grandmother is babysitting her. That makes for a very grumpy baby when we pick her up. Any suggestions?
Thank You,
Kimberley
Hi Dana, My son is almost 14 months old and has never been a good sleeper. Lately he has been waking 4-5 times, sometimes more every night. I think much of it is the fact that he is teething. It doesn’t take much to calm him and get him back to sleep, but I feel as though I am enabling him by going in to his room, giving him a pacifier, and helping him readjust to get back to sleep. Should I go in initially to make sure he is not wet and is okay, and then let him cry and figure things out on his own? I am torn because I know his teeth are bothering him. What should I do?
Hello my little girl is almost three.
She seems suddenly very afraid of shadows and the dark to the extent that she will not want to leave my side when it is getting dark.
She also will not sleep in a room on her own. What has caused this and how can I reassure her and get her confidence back to sleep on her own.
Hi Dana,
I have a 4 1/2 month old. He had started sleeping though the night (from 8:00pm to 6:00am) at about 3 months. He’s now started getting up again and wants to be fed atleast once each night sometimes twice. And when he’s not awake wanting to be fed he’s whining (not a cry & not content noises, just a “I’m awake & not wanting to be noise and does eventually fall back to sleep). What can I do to try & get back to those full night sleeps??
Thanks!
dawlat will be 1 year old on 18 November and till now she sleeps beside me and doesn’t want to be put in her cribe either for sleep or play or what ever. I’m going crazy what should i do
Hi
Our son is 11 months old and still wakes up every 3-4 hours during the night. He has never slept well at night – his two naps during the day he goes down without a fuss and sleeps for a couple of hours – but at night he is fussy and does not settle down well.
We lived in a basement suite until a couple of weeks ago and I felt (rightly or wrongly) that I shouldn’t let him cry too long (plus I can’t stand letting my kids cry and cry) so usually ended up breastfeeding him to sleep. The problem is that he gets up 3-4 times at night and the only way I can get him to go back to sleep without crying and waking up the whole household is to breastfeed him. This has been going on for months and I’m exhausted, plus I have a 2 1/2-year-old who gets up before my son in the morning and our house is so small he wakes up too. I’m frustrated and would like to get him sleeping better and get some sleep myself! Thanks.
Hi, me again,
Should also add to my previous question that my daughter has NEVER slept through the night, and when she does wake in the night (usually around midnight), she gets in with us, and then whole family sleeps for the rest of the night (well, until around 5:30am at least!!).
Look forward to hearing your comments/suggestions!!
Hi,
My 25-month-old daughter is getting quite bad at night sleeping. She sometimes won’t go down until 9.30pm!! She sleeps well in the day (2 hours), plays well and actively. She will fall asleep on our bed, but the transfer to her cot is difficult. This is only a new problem for her. I know there are many factors involved here – she breastfeeds, she is not a HUGE eater, will not take a bottle (formula), she used a dummy/pacifier. I TRY to make a good routine for her – dinner, bath, teeth, stories, then breastfeed and then cot…used to work a treat, but now??? I guess this is the ‘creation of a rod for my own back’ that old ladies have been telling me that I was creating since her birth!! Anyway, I’m not really sure what to address first!! Any hints?
My son is 3 months old, how do you get a 3 month old to fall asleep without soothers. I can lay him down in his bed and he will scream forever.
I am totally lost!! My baby is now 5 months and is going backward in the way of sleeping through the night. Even when he was first born he never woke more than twice and would usually go from 8 until 3 before waking. Now he is waking at 11 and then every three hours after that. The strange thing is that he can fall asleep by himself at all his naps and when he goes to bed, but rarely in the middle of the night. I am super tired. Please help!!
Hi, my son Brandon is 26 months and has been in a twin size bed for two months. At first he would not fall asleep unless I was in the room with him. After a few nights of letting him cry it out is able to fall asleep without me in there. The problem that my husband and I are facing now is him waking up between 3 and 4 in the morning and not going back to sleep. I have tried the method of going in 5 minute incriments and increasing the time each time. This is not working, he refuses to fall back to sleep and then by 6:30 in the morning he is nodding off to sleep again. Help how can we get him to sleep through the night again?
HI DANA,
I HAVE A NINE MONTH OLD WEE BOY WHO HAS NEVER SLEPT VERY WELL ,APART FROM THAT HE HAS BEEN WAKING UP WITH WHAT I THINK ARE NIGHT TERRORS ,HE SCREAMS SO VIOLENTLY IT SOUNDS ALMOST LIKE A SQUEAL,HE DOENT LOOK LIKE HE IS FULLY AWAKE AND WE JUST HAVE TO RIDE IT OUT FOR UPTO 15 MINS .
IT IS AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE AND I WONDER IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ON THIS CONDITION,
THANK YOU .
Hi,
I have a 21 month old little girl. Who at the moment is a bit of a vampire. She has never been a really good sleeper. But with the help of a local womens and childrens hospital where able to help me get into a really strict routine. Which i have not changed since she was three months old. Until one ago, it stopped working and i dont know why. She can now wake up any where between 12:30 and 4:oo in the morning and stay awake for hours on end. Playing, kicking the wall, laughing, screaming and on occasion crying. Now i have rung all the child nurses i know of and they all seem a little stumped. The only answer they can give me is to do controled crying with her. Well thats just my problem. Shes not crying, shes playing. And if she does cry its for about 5 mins then she moves onto her next activity. This now is effecting the whole family as she is soooo loud. And ive had to resort to sleeping in the lounge room just so i dont lose my mind. Not a very comfy way to relax. If only i had a bigger couch. Some sought of insight into this problem would be fab. As noone else seems to have a clue.
My lil man is 6 months old. For the past few months I put him to sleep at 7pm and he sleeps til around 3-4am. He will then go back to sleep til abour 6-7am…Perfect:)
For the past two weeks he wakes at 11pm and then again at 4ish. He goes back to sleep til 5am and then screams til I go and get him and put him in with me and nurse him on and off til 7ish.
For the past 3 nights he now wakes at 11pm and screams til I take him to my bed and nurse him on and off all night. I have done ‘controlled crying’ in the past, but it’s just not working at night now and he has never been a night crier. Please advise…Should i just leave him to cry (for ages) and never put him in my bed again???
Maya is 6 1/2 months old. She was sleeping through the night (8-6:45) and started waking up early (5:30) and having night wakings (1-2). She was on a three nap schedule and we have tried to see if a two nap schedule was better for her while moving her bed time up to 6:30. She still has night wakings (2-4!) and her naps haven’t been as good as on 3 naps. Don’t know what to do anymore.
my son bridger is now 10 months old, the past month he has been sleeping through the night from about 7:30pm to about 9 am it has been great! but for some resion he has been getting up about 2 times a night wanting a bottle his rutine has not change, nothing has changed, i just dont know what is waking him and why he cant get back to sleep with out a bottle. please help :) thanks lacey
My son Braedyn is 11 weeks old and has been sleeping with me in bed because he simply will not stay sleeping in his crib. During the day I will lay him down for a nap when he falls asleep, but he will immediatly wake up and start crying until I pick him up and then he falls right back to sleep in my arms. It makes it really hard to get anything done during the day. I noticed during the day if I lay him on his stomach, he will nap for a couple hours without waking up. I’ve tried laying him on his side at night, but that doesn’t seem to work either. When is is sleeping with me, he will sleep 5-6 hours and then wake to eat. What can I do to get him to transition into his own bed and sleep peacefully so that I can get a peaceful night’s sleep?
My 3-year old son Noah has always taken mid-day naps at school. Lately, when it’s a weekend or day off of school, we put him down for a nap at typically the same time they would on a school day. But it’s hit or miss whether or not he’ll fall asleep and sometimes will go without napping.
At what age do naps become “optional?”
Thanks.
thank you Dana for ur concern,
my daughter goes to sleep only after precking me for some time.and we sleep togther.she wants me around her.whenever she wakes up she looks for me
Hi Dana, my 6 six month old daughter is going to sleep by herself at 7pm and sleeps through to 3.30 – 4.00 pm. Some nights I am able to settle her back to sleep but only for an hour or so. She is not hungry as she still doesn’t has her breakfast until 6.30-7.00am. or She has an hour nap in the morning and in the afternoon. Do you have anu suggestions on how to get her to sleep for longer?
Hi There,
My 12 month old son Aaron (who currently has a very bad cold and cough constantly) awakes and has woken since birth at around 4 am ish, 5 am ish and 6 am ish and then is up for the day. He does not seem to be able to self settle and since he is in my room and it is freezing at night, I bring him into my bed and end up breastfeeding him back to sleep.
This has gone on for a year now and I am so drained. Do you have any ideas on what to do please?
I tried a control crying technique once and that worked for about 5 days until he had to go to childcare and got sick there and I had to abandon that idea, but I am really against that method anyway as it is too stressful for parent and child even if it does work.
I need some good strategies that me and my husband can both use. He always puts him back to sleep rocking and me breastfeeding!
Many thanks
Lyn
My 7and a half old son Ayden used to have no problem sleeping through the night. He started when he was 3 months. We would feed him lay him down and he would fall asleep on his own. He went through about a month of being constantly sick, during which we would have to rock, sing, soothe, hold all night long because he wasnt able to breathe at night very well. Now he’s doing great health wise, but he wont go to sleep without being rocked, he fights sleep, kicks, throws his head back and screams until we get him out of the crib. Then, he’s all of a sudden waking between 1and 3 in the morning wanting to feed and play. I have to be at work at 5am. What am I doing wrong, I am in tears by the time I leave for work.
hi reading allof these i am so glad im not alone, i have 2 girls choe 23 months and grace 8 months chloe has never slept though the night, she falls to sleep sitting with us drinking a bottle or have her dummy when shes asleep we put her in bed than she wakes 3-4 times a night sometimes more she wont stop crying into we go in her room and lay with her and give her her bottle or dummy, she has a night lightn and is in bed by 7 just dont know what to do its really hard has grace steel wakes onces or twice a night and she really hard to get to sleep we put her n her bed but she crys and crys what do i do and how.thank u
Dear Dana,
My 9 month old daughter has been sleeping through the night, for the most part, since she was about 4 months old. When she would wake up she was able to put herself back to sleep most of the time. However, since learning how to stand up on her own and since teething she is now waking up several times a night. I let her cry for awhile, but I admit I am a softy and can’t let her cry more than 15 min or 20 min, and when I go to comfort her she is standing up. This has prevented her from soothing herself back to sleep. I then lay her back down, which she screams about, and try to comfort her back to sleep. Most of the time it works but sometimes it doesn’t. What can I do? Is it the teething? Will she ever sleep through the night again?
Thanks for your advice. As a new mom I want all the good advice I can get.
Jana
I just want to say a big thankyou to you for all the useful free tips you’ve given me and my friends. I recommend you and your website to everyone. You have helped so much a thousand thankyou’s
jan x
Hi Dana, firstly, thank you for all of your great tips, they are wonderful. Our son Callaghan will be a year old November 5th. He has been sleeping in his crib and falling asleep on his own since around 5 months old. Recently, he has started waking up hungry at night. This really baffles me because he eats really well during the day. Some nights he will wake up 3-4 times and drink a combined 20-24 ounces of milk! I assume he must be hungry but I know he can sleep through the night at least 12 hours. He is great at going to sleep on his own. I’m at a loss and just don’t know what to do. He screams and screams until I give him his bottle? Help! We were where we wanted to be but now it feels like we are almost back to square one! Thank you for your time Dana.
Hi Dana,
I have a question. My daugter was a sound sleeper untill her older sister started school in sep. Then she started waking up in the middle of the night 2 to 3 times. I tried to solve the problem by going to her room where she sleeps with her sister & stayed with her untill she went back to sleep but it became a habbit for her. She gets scared & start crying. she wants to hold my hand always while she is sleeping so i end up coming back to her over n over again or otherwise staying with her.
Hello, my daughter is 8 1/2 monthes old and has always been a good sleeper usually 6:30 – 6:30 or 7 -7, however lately she has been waking up very early, before 6:00AM and is still tired. I do go in and get her and give her a bottle as she has been down for so long, but because of her actions I don’t believe she is really waking from hunger. Should I not be going to her if she wakes up to early in the morning?
Our son Jack who is 29 1/2 months who at 10 1/2 months started night terrors sand stop sleeping in his crib at night. has finally move to a cod by our bed but only for a few hours 2-5 per night which is a start . How do we get him to sleep in his own room where he has a crib and toddler bed?
My son is fourteen months and will not sleep throughout the night. He goes to bed around 9 and wakes up every two hours. I am very Exhausted and scared to have another baby.
My son is 30 months old and has night terrors, and sometimes they are frightening because he arches his back and tosses and turns in his crib, how do i deal with those?
my son is 8 months old and does not nap longer than 20 minutes twice a day. He is usually in bed by 7:30-8:00 and wakes up at around 3:00 for a bottle. Is this enough sleep for a baby his age or should I be concerned? I dont know what I can do to get him to sleep longer.
Hi Dana, My son who is now 12 weeks old, takes naps great and sleeps well at night… WHEN he finally gets to sleep. His bed time is between 7-8 and he has a routine of bottle, book and bed. However, he just does not settle down easily at this time of night??? Are we missing something. He usually will stay awake for about an hour crying. We have tried a later bed time and nothing seems to help. What is your advice?
My daughter just turned 2. She still does not sleep though the night. She falls asleep anywhere between 9:00 – 10:30pm and usually wakes around 3 times during the night. She demands a bottle of formula and will then be able to go back to sleep. How can I get her to sleep though the night without needing a bottle to soothe her??? PLEASE HELP! My husband and I are EXHAUSTED!
Hi My 2 months daughter sleeps maximum 3 hours at night and I end up not having any sleep… What should I do to make her to sleep longer?
PLEASE HELP!!
Hi Dana: My 5 month old daughter Sophia doesn’t seem to want to sleep in her crib. She was like that from birth…even with her bassinet. It seemed she hated the bassinet and now is not too fond of her crib. We wondered if comfort was an issue. If I do get her to sleep in her crib, she’ll only stay there for an hour or maybe two, then wakes up, and we can not get her to go back to sleep in her crib. We used to sit her in her swing, (without the motion) and she used to sleep a little better in that, but that isn’t working now either. We can, however, get her right back to sleep if she is in bed with us (although if in bed with us, she still wakes up once through the night). I would appreciate your thoughts on this. Thanks.
Hi Dana,
I am a single Mom, living with my mother. My daughter Brooke is 26 months old and sleeps in my bed and is use to me laying down with her to go to sleep. I am afraid of how it would affect emotionally her if I change the routine at this point. But this routine is not working for me and cuts into my nightime rountine. So with Brooke not sleeping in a crib, although I have one, and is use to me laying down with her to go to sleep, what do you recommend I do to transition into a more toddler independent:) sleep routine? By the way, my Mom, her grandmother sees nothing wrong with the current rountine and can not stand when she crys at bedtime…what do you recommend and do you think this will have a negitive emotional impact on her? Thanks, TammyT
We still can’t get yle to sleep through the night !!!
He is 15 months now
What can we do.
Hello, I really need help getting my four month old to sleep through the night. I am a single mom and waking up two times a night is really hard on me and Andre. He was waking up only once at 3am until a couple of weeks ago and now he gets up at midnight, 3am, and 3:45am. I have to get up for work anywhere between 4:15am and 5:15am so it makes my day harder to be woken up that many times and that close to the time I actually get up. I am not sure what to do. He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00pm, before bed he eats, takes a bath, gets a massage and seems to fall asleep very easily and once he is asleep it is a deep sleep but I don’t know how to get him to stay asleep. Please help me. Thank you.
dear dana, i have 8 month old twins and they have never slept in a crib (they sleep in vibrating bouncy chairs), only for fear of crib death. and now my question is, is this ok and when should i stop, considering thats how they have been sleeping for the last 8 months…. i did however co-sleep with them…but only until they started roling over, oh and they can only role over and not back the other way ( there really fat ), well thanks if you can answer this.
max
my daughter is 10 weeks and is definatly not sleeping through the night. However for a few weeks straight was sleeping from 4-6 hours stretches from 8 ish on. She then tends to wake up every hour after that. Is this typical of that age? Is there anything I can do to help her sleep longer stretches?
my daughter is 8 months old se go sleep at 7 o’clock she wakes up every 2 hours i tried everything se goes to sleep with the bottle or a dummy she das no go sleep bai her self i have to give to her the dummy or the bottle Wat sall i do about the night waking please help
Hi, just had a question about my little Lucas sleeping on his stomach. He wakes up multiple time each night on his side and during the day I put him on his tummy and he will sleep for hours(ofcourse with me checking on him a hundred times). Is it still not safe for him to sleep on his tummy at night? He is 6weeks old.
Hi, Dana!
I brestfed my daughter Evelyn until she was 7 months and she slept with me -I know this is bad…^_^ LOL!-.
Now she is 8 months and it is still hard to make her sleep through the night without waking up or feel confortable in her bed.
Also she wants a 3 oz. bottle around 10.30 p.m. both if she is still awake or not!
What can I do so that she won’t need this extra bottle and sleep trough the night till next morning without waking up not even for a sip of water?
HI there!
My daughter who is 5 months, 3 weeks old has slept through the night since she was 2 months old. Now as she is approaching 6 months she is waking between 2-4 am. I let her fuss for at least 30 mins, but she does not go back to sleep unless she is fed. She falls to sleep herself at 730 pm, and I hear her wake earlier in the night, to fall asleep again just fine. Could she really be hungry at this time ? I do not want to “spoil” her with night time feedings, but how do you really know what she needs?
Thanks so much,
Kristine
Hi Dana,
I think my 3 month old daughter is doing very well i can put her to bed awake and she cries abit but i go in and rub her head and cover up and yes i use a soother but she only uses it for a few minutes and spits it out and goes to sleep, however she sleeps for a solid 5-6 hours and shes back up and she eats a whole 6 ounce bottle and she gets changed and goes back to bed fully awake with no soother and she talks to herself for a bit and falls to sleep but is back 3-4 hours later so my question , is this normal? everyone is telling me she should be sleepin straight through the night but she is only 3 months.
I have twin girls both 25 mos. They both used to sleep during the night from 8pm-6am no problem. Recently, one of them will not only not want to go to bed, but if we can get her to sleep relatively easily, she will wake up during the night intermittently and will not fall back asleep unless we sleep with her on the floor. We’ve tried to let her cry it out but ends up waking her sister–who is a great sleeper. Which version of your sleep sense program can help me the most? Given their ages, I wasn’t sure if I needed the first or second version.
My daughter Caitlin is almost 11 months old and has suddenly started waking up during the night screaming and crying. Nothing will make her happy except mommy holding her. For the last 2 nights I have gotten up with her and layed with her on the couch until she goes back to sleep. I am doing this so her sister and dad can get some rest without all the crying. I fear that this is a mistake, her dad said that he would do it if she would come to him. My question is should I just let her cry it out and keep everyone awake or keep doing what I am doing. Also during the day she suddenly wants to be held constantly or she just sits on the floor and cries, this is trying on all of our nerves.
We have a baby girl (Danica) 6 months ago and we also have a 4.5 year old daughter (Sydney.) Sydney was sleeping in her own room (periodically she would come to our room but we would take her back sing her a song and she would go back to sleep.) Since the arrival of the baby, we can not get her to sleep in her own room. She goes to bed in her own room but when she awakes, she sneaks into our room careful not to wake us and spends the remainder of the night on the floor. My husband and I both figured Sydney would give up and go back to her room at some point especially since she is sleeping on the floor. This has NOT happened. We have even put a lock on her door (we haven’t used it yet) and have told her we will lock her door. We have spent a couple of nights taking her back to her bed continuously and holding the door closed. Once she stayed in her room but after we fell asleep she crept in to our room slept on our floor (neither of us noticed she was in the room until the next morning.) We thought of locking our door but the baby is next to our room and we are afraid Sydney will wake the baby trying to get in our room. Sydney says she is scared but won’t say what she is scared of. She has a night light and refuses to let us put an alarm clock in her room.
Any advice you can give will be much appreciated. As for the baby..Danica usually sleeps through the night but has had a couple nights of waking to eat. I think it may have to do with a growth spurt. As you advise I don’t let her go to sleep while she drinks her bottle and she gets herself back to sleep once she is in her crib.
I have an 8month old son and he still doesnt sleep thru the night. He goes through good nights only waking 1-3 times and bad nights waking up to 10 times. He eats good and gets a bottle right before bed and finishes it almost every night. He is still taking the binkie, and we want to take it away because that is what it seems like he wants, he either cant find it or wants us to put it back in for him. How do I take it away so I can sleep a full night one day? PLEASE
My daughter is 2 years old and a terrible sleeper. For the first 6 months of her life she wouldn’t sleep any longer than 20 minutes. She screamed all day and night. Over tired and unhappy. It was then that the doctors discovered that she had silent reflux and lactose intolerance. She got a lot better after the discovery but she still wakes up every night up to 5 times. She doesn’t go back to sleep for 2 hours and with a new baby at home we are getting really tired.
How can I get Rachel to stay sleeping and stop wandering the house at all hours. She isn’t scared of her bed or room. She sneaks in with us but won’t lay down. She looks so wide awake. She started play school now and it is hard for me to get the kids out of the door before 10 because we usually don’t get back to sleep until 6am.
Any help would be very appreciated.
Dawn
Hi Dana!
I have a 12months old son. He has been sleeping through the night until 2 1/2 weeks ago. Now he is refusing to stay in his cot. Last Friday he has been crying for 2 hours while I was trying (staying with him in the room) to get him to stay and sleep in his cot. I’ve been back to work three days a week, from the begining of September (a month ago) and he has started nursery at the same time. I would greatly appreciate your help/advise on this matter. Thank you very very much. Kind regards, Isabel
Last year we went on vacation with our 2 yr old son. He had to sleep with us in hotels. It is now a year later and we can not get him out of our bed. Help
My daughter is now sleeping through the night, she is almost 1 year old. It took until she was 11 months before I would try the cry down technique, but it has worked amazingly. Now when I put her in her crib at night, she will cry for about 20 minutes before she falls asleep. However, when her daddy puts her to bed at night, we don’t hear a peep out of her and she just goes to sleep. Why is this, is there anything I should be doing as her mommy that would make it easier for her when putting her in her crib?
Dana,
Our daughter Ella is 10 months old. She sleeps in the bed with us. Latley she has not been sleeping and wakes up crying. She sounds like she is in pain. Not sure what to do. Hope you can help.
Sincerely,
Harley
Up until the time my son was about 8 months old, we had him in our bed with us. I know….NOT a good move and I will never make that mistake again. At 8 months we started trying to put him in his crib….didn’t go well, as you can imagine. Add to it, the fact that my husband absolutely cannot handle our son crying…especially for long periods of time. When I could no longer take the sleep deprivation, I begged my husband to let me try a 3-night experiment where I go to him when he cries, but do not pick him up. Within 3 nights he was falling asleep in his own (with me standing there) and was sleeping through the night. He is now almost 11 months old and recently started waking several times a night again. He also never slept beyond 5 or 5:30 am. What can I do to get him to sleep through the night and possibly sleep longer in the morning? Keep in mind that when he does wake in the night, I have to go in and stand at his crib until he falls back to sleep. If he is not REALLY tired, he cannot fall alseep without me present in the room. HELP!!
My son will be 2 in november. we had to move him to a toddler bed becuase he was climbing out of his baby bed. We had just got him to start falling asleep on his own in his crib before we had to move him to the toddler bed. now i cannot get him to fall asleep on his own without me laying in there with him. then he always wakes up in the middle of the night and stands by the gate in his door and crys until we come and get him. i also feel the reason he is waking up is because he tosses and turns so much and I think he is having night terrors. I am not sure what to do next, but I feel like we have a newborn again with him waking up at all hours of the night. PLEASE HELP
HELP!! My son is 3 months old and will not sleep more than 4 hours at a time. I’ve tried the 10pm dream feed, with no luck. I’ve tried to let him wriggle in the co-sleeper, but when he wakes every night at exactly 2am he truly is hungry….Help!! I’m so exausted
Hi dana! Thanks for providing such a wonderful resource to us tired parents! Our 4 yr old daughter has always been a farily good sleeper but a few recent changes have left us with difficult bedtimes and nights where she’ll be up 10+ times. First, her baby brother was born in June and on her 4th bday in August she gave up her binky, which she had slept with every nap and night since birth. We know it’s normal for a little disruption but this is crazy! She claims to be “afraid” of being alone and is frantic about sleep now. It doesn’t seem to be a game or power struggle. How do we uncover what she’s “afraid” of and what do we do about the night wakings??? Thanks!