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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question comes from Kayla:
“My son Rylen is sort of a “hold me” baby. He won’t sit still or play for anything longer than 10 minutes, usually less if I am there to entertain him. He only sleeps for about 30 minutes a few times a day and he will fall asleep only if I rock him. I’m wondering if you have any tips for getting him to fall asleep on his own and how I can get him to play independently?”
One thing I find from babies who don’t take enough naps or sleep that well during the night is that they tend to be a little bit more on the clingier side. Meaning, they like to be held a lot. They don’t have a very long attention span for other activities, they might cry when you leave the room, they might not want to go to anyone else but you, or they have stranger anxiety, and that has a lot to do with fatigue.
If you think about how you feel on a day when you haven’t have enough sleep, most people are more emotional or a little bit quicker to anger or more impatient, less able to focus. All those things are what a normal person feels when they are experiencing fatigue and so that is most likely what’s happening with your son as well.
The good news is, teaching him how to sleep well and for much longer periods during the day will help improve his general mood. He’ll have more stamina, he’ll have a longer attention span, he’ll be a little bit more independent with his playtime and maybe his coping skills will be higher. He might be able to tolerate you leaving the room for a little bit longer or even spending time with people he doesn’t know as well. That’s the good news. You get there by making changes to his strategy for sleep.
Right now, you rock him. The reason why he is only taking a 30 minute nap is because you are rocking him to sleep then putting him down I imagine. Then he’s doing one sleep cycle and then coming to the end of it is where babies tend to wake up briefly because you’re no longer rocking him.
Now he is fully awake and most babies that wake up in that situation often are crying right at the first flutter of the eyes. They’re upset because they are so tired but not tired enough to actually go back to sleep. Then you get in this vicious cycle of rocking him to sleep. Thirty minutes later, he will get back up and the whole day will go that way.
Saying goodbye to the rocking and helping him find some independent skills will the length of his. I would start at bedtime Kayla and I would do a nice routine leading up to his bedtime, bath, jammies, a feed, and a story. Make sure during the feeding that he’s not using a bottle or the breast as a way to start falling asleep. You want to keep him awake through all feedings, awake through maybe a story afterwards and then into the crib awake.
Because he is so used to being rocked, he is going to be a bit startled by the change and you can expect some crying and protest because he has no real knowledge of how to get to sleep without your help, without being rocked. It’s going to be a bit of a learning curve for him to figure out how to get to sleep without being rocked and find his own ways to do this.
I would suggest that you use a stand the room method. That way you can at least be present and supportive and help him through this the best you can. The goal is for Rylen to learn how to fall asleep on his own without being rocked. You are there to be supportive but you have to let him take charge of this now with just some careful touching, say your key phrases.
As your nights go on, you’re going to begin the journey towards the door or where every three days, you’re going to move closer and closer to the door until you’re out of the room all together. Ultimately, your goal is for him to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep all on his own without relying on you at all.
Then you’re going to keep the process going through the night awakenings. Did you mention how old he is, it doesn’t say. If he were a good age where he doesn’t need or require feedings at night, then you would just repeat the process. Go back into his room and sit in your chair until he’s back to sleep. Repeat this process until there are no more night awakenings.
Then you are going to do the same thing for naptime. I would encourage you to set up a little bit of a naptime routine. Maybe go into to his room, read a story, change his diaper, put him in the crib awake or sing a song and put him in the crib. You’re going to use the same three-day process for naps as well until you’re out of the room all together.
If you want to focus on morning naps in the crib then really work on it. You can also keep the option of the nap in the stroller just to encourage him to get enough sleep for the day without going through this two or three times a day. You can get yourself a little break from it. Ultimately, the goal should be that he’s falling asleep in his crib for both nights and naptime. The good news in that all his naps are going to get nice and long and his moods are going to improve as well.
I encourage you to start and get him sleeping better. Thanks for your question. Sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
i have a 10 month old daughter who used to sleep through, now shes clingy i ant lave her or even get up in the same room and move about without her crying. we have always let her fall asleep on us then they her down and we never had a problem doing this untill now. when all this started she had a cold and a ear infection but now shes better and she still doesnt sleep through even in the day now. her day naps was for about 1 – 2 for each nap. nows its 30 mins. im pulling my hair out please help. shes my first
My baby is just 6 weeks old and is very clinging. He will only be rocked asleep and will only fall asleep in the day if he is in me. It is getting to the point where he cannot be ‘put down in his Moses basket – however deeply asleep he seems he wakes when laid down in his bed.
He initially was better at sleeping, but it feels like he’s getting worse. Is it too early to get him into a routine? Can the methods you suggested such as progressively moving out of the room work? Am I expecting too much from small baby? Some people have suggested young babies need to be close to mom initially and it will make them more secure later but it takes so much time to get him to sleep – day or night – and I’m worried I’m indulging bad habits now that will be very hard to break later.
Thanks fir any advice you can give
Adele
Hello,
My daughter, Sunita, is 25 weeks old. She was sleeping fantastic, until she got sick. She won’t sleep thru the night, she screams when put in her crib and needs to be fed/rocked to sleep. Before she got sick she was sleeping 12 hours at night and putting herself to sleep at least half the time. We’ve tried using the same method as last time (we used the ferber method) but it just won’t work!
Any advice you could give would be much appreciated.
Dana, Kayla’s story was my story, now I have a 2 1/2 year old that is still the same way. Your site has gave me some great advice and I have started implementing it tonight. One more question, though. My daughter is an extremely light sleeper, always has been (her dad and I are too, though). We have her in her own bedroom with the door shut, a fan on, and a nature’s sound machine, even then she wakes up to her father driving up our driveway (he works swing shift), the telephone ringing (my husband and I are both on call 24/7), even little things such as our cat walking across our hardwood floors, or me accidently kicking one of her toys across the floor. Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep more soundly?
I have a 15week old daughter. She feeds every 4hours. She’s a very happy little thing in the morning and will happily go to sleep on her own an hour after her first feed. My problem is late afternoons. She gets so miserable and cries alot. She won’t settle with anyone but me or my boyfriend and I’ve a feeling it’s because she doesn’t have enough sleep during the day. She can’t seem to sleep for longer than half an hour a couple of hours after each feed. I feel she would be alot happier if she slept for longer during the day but I just can’t seem to get her to sleep for longer periods. Night times are fine and she goes to sleep no problem and on her own. I just feel she would be alot less clingy and miserable during the day if she slept longer. What do I need to do???
my baby is 9weeks old and the only way she knows how to sleep is in my arm lying in bed with me. being rocked or in her bouncer with the vibrate on. but im struggerling with sleep myself. she still wakes up for a feed during the night. i wanna put her in her crib in her own her with routine but how???? and when she cries when is it ok to pick her up to settle her if shes all worked up. or do i not pick her up?? help please…
I have the same problem, I have 13 month old baby girl, she just sleep if I rock her for both night sleep and naps. If I leave her in the crib, she is crying so bad that I even cannot hear my voice myself. Then she starts coughing and then maybe vomitting. It is horibble to see her like that, so I am not able to leave her. I am touching, talking to her but nothing works, other than rocking. So since she is used to it she wakes up frequently in the night and in the middle of the nap. I put her teddy bear in the crib with her but she does not care. She is very dependent on me, she is not good with strangers too, and she is very timid, she gets scared if she hear a sudden noise. So I don’t want her to feel like I am leaving her alone. she is very sensitive. Do you have suggestions for me? thank you
My daughter molly is 21 months old and used to go to sleep when we took her upstairs and put her in her cot with her comforter, now she has to be in her buggy first or held as she drops off to sleep. how do i get her in a routine of going to bed and falling asleep without the holding of her. When i have tried leaving her in her cot when she is tired she screams and i give in.
my daughter, Iliana, is 2 yrs old and wakes up at the same time every night. She won’t go back to sleep unless we take her to our bed. Now we aren’t getting any sleepd and I would like to brake her of that habit. How is that done?
My 22 month old daughter slept through the night until the Christmas holidays then she started waking up a couple of times at night. I thought it was due to the holidays. She then had a stomache virus for a few days in January and since then wakes up calling for “mamma’ 2-3 times a night. I do hold her until she is almost asleep and then put her in her crib. I do know she can put herself back to sleep as she has done it in the past. At daycare she will lay on her cot and drift off to sleep by herself for 2-2.5 hours. We do have a regular bedtime routine of bath. jammies, book and bottle. I have tried (since this has all started) to let her cry herself to sleep but I feel so guilty and I eventually give in. Can anyone help?!
I have 15 months old daughter. she loves milk and she wakes up at 3 or 4 am and screams for milk. If we give pacifier she wont sleep till she gets her milk. she drinks milk and goes back to sleep. again she wakes up at 7 am and she cries for milk or needs pacifier to sleep. my husband and i find it difficult to handle her. pls help.
My eighteen month daughter is still sleeping in our bed. She wakes up several times during the night and gives out a little scream or she will sit up and cry for her pacifier. Once she get it she will fall back asleep and spit the pacifier out. This goes on 3 or four times during the night. Instead of having to get up several times during the night to check on her if she were in her crib I just have her sleep with us. Even though she travels all over the bed at night. How can I get her to sleep soundly through the night. Is she have reflux at night?
I have a bed time routine already established with my soon to be 2 year old. he goes to sleep very easy in my arms while i rock him. he will sleep about 2 to 3 hours and then wake up, he will continue crying until i come in and pick him up and sit down in the rocking chair.. he is out like a light with in a matter of seconds. this will happen about two or three times durning the night. i started the sleep sense program last week but stop..,, after about 30 minutes of crying, me still in the room, reasurring him, he started banging his head up against the crib, and also hitting himself in the head. i could not sit there and watch him do this so i picked him up and rocked him to sleep. he was out within seconds. and yes it did leave a bruise that i noticed the next day. my daughter in law works in day care and said that alot of the children they keep do this. i perfer that this is not my childs way of putting himself to sleep. any suggestions?
My 15 month old twin boys (one especially) have been getting up very early. We put them down around 730-745 every night. They have been waking and crying around 515am now for the past couple of weeks. A third of the time, they will fall back asleep after a few minutes of crying, but the other times, they scream and scream until we go get them – sometimes for over 30 min. What can we do to get them to sleep in until at least 6am! Most of my friends’ kids the same age are sleeping in until 730 or 8pm.
Hi there, Gabriel is 6.5 months old and has started to sleep a bit better at night ie 7 – 12am BF then wakes around 3 for a while then sleeps till 5/6am, he’s recently started to take a dummy, so I use this when he wakes at 3 and any other time through the night as I’m trying to get him to sleep through till 7am if poss. Is giving him a dummy just creating another prop he needs to fall asleep on his own? (he generally goes into the cot awake after his last feed at 7am awake and gets off to sleep himself but when he wakes through the night it seems to be harder for him to get back to sleep) thanks.
My daughter is 22 months old and was sleeping through the night in her bed and now recently has been getting up and wants to be with me. She won’t go back to her bed and won’t go to daddy; she wants mommy to hold her! She now wants a drink as well when she wakes up and has thrown tantrums in the middle fo the night. We are at a loss at what is happening all of a sudden and don’t know where to go from here….
Hi, My youngest son Connor who turned 2 in November 09 has always been an excellent sleeper just like his older brother Beau, however, I’ve had a bit of trouble getting him off to sleep over the last couple of months. It started with him saying when I’ve put him in his bed that he’s scared. The only way (at the moment) to get him off to sleep with me lying down on the floor beside his bed until he falls off to sleep and then I do a sneak out of the room.
My Son is 17 weeks old he is used to sleep on the pacifier in his dark room at 7 p.m., then he wakes up at 11 p.m. then at 3 a.m. for feeding ( he takes only about 4 oz ) Then he is awake at 6 a.m. not for feeding, but to play and then he takes a bottle at 8 a.m.( 4 oz).
I need your help… i want him to take more ounces with longer intervals to let him sleep all the night without the pacifier.
Thank you for your help..
my boy is 21/2 months annd wont let me put him down day or nite if i do he screems.i feel like im gonna crack up.help
Hi; my daughter is now almost 14 months old & still wakes up 2 or more times at night. Sometimes she’s eating very well, at other times she isn’t. What can you do to help? I am still breastfeeding & mixing formula & solids.
Why can she not get a full 9-10 hours sleep? Her naps are good. But she only clings to my breast for milk when I’m around. She wants nothing else. Her sleep schedule is always interrupted!
I have a alomst 3 year old and she sneeks into my bed at night. She falls asleep on her own at bed time but during the night she will get up and go to my bed. I return her to her bed and she usualy goes back fine sometimes she puts up a fuss. She sometimes does this a couple times a night how do i get her to stay in her own bed all night?
A few weeks ago we were having problems getting our 8 month old son to go to sleep on his own. With some good advise from this website and family and friends we got him to break this bad habit. Although he sleeps good now(a couple of long naps during the day and all through the night) he has recently started waking up crying in the night. He cries so hard it makes me think he is hurt, and it takes a long time to settle him down. Sometimes up to a half hour to get him to stop crying! It also seems that when i go in to see what’s wrong he’s not even awake. What could this be? Could he be dreaming or having a nightmare? What can i do to calm him down when this happens?
My daughter Angelarose has just been weaned off the breast at 26mths. Its going well but was wondering if giving her a bottle in bed is wrong. She is settling down ok without too much fuss considering I used to nurse her until she fell asleep and then I placed her in her cot. She was waking up during the night and I would nurse her back to sleep too. Now she is sleeping thru but waking early and I give her a small drink and she goes back to sleep.I would give her a drink before bed while she is up but dont think she will settle the same. Whats the better way to deal with bed time. Also have dropped the morning nap and trying to have her bed by 8.30pm as I have school aged children that are meant to be in bed at that time. Should bed time be 7.30pm, but I’m not sure if she tired enough.
How can i get my 2 year old son to sleep in his own bed and all night? im so exausted its not even funny…im so scared of having another baby cuz i cant to this again….please somebody help me before i loose my mind.
I’d like to start sleep-training my 4-month old to fall asleep on her own. Currently, afte the bedtime routine she is swaddled and I hold her until she falls asleep (sometimes it’s quick – sometimes not so much) then put her down in her crib (at which point, she sleeps well through the night).
I want to start putting her down and having her learn to fall asleep on her own. Can I do that while she’s swaddled? Or should I wean her of the swaddle first? (I’ve tried a couple times, but even with one arm out, she’s hard to get to sleep by holding her as she’s quite big and flails around alot). Thoughts?
Hi Dana,
My son Aiden is 11 months old and goes to sleep on his own with his pacifer. I want to break him of this but he is doing so well. Sometimes through the night he wakes up and I give him his pacifer and he goes back to sleep. Do you have any suggestions?
My problem is my one year son cry about twice in the middle of the night for a bottle but he doesnt even drink it.it ends up leaking every were because i end up going back to bed.how can i get him to stay asleep through the night without letting him cry because i cant stand to hear him cry.HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
My daughter who just turned 9 months old was sleeping though the night up until about 2 weeks ago. I started to implement this program when she was only 2 months old and it worked great up until now. Now she is waking every night an hour after I put her to bed and screeches. Feeding her guarantees she will go back to sleep but she is feed 8-10 oz before I put her to bed at 7:30 so I do not believe that she is hungry. I have ler her cry for up to 1.5 hrs and then caved with a feeding but am unsure why this is happening. Please advise!!
My daughter Mya is a breastfed 11 month old. She falls asleep feeding while i sit on the couch and she is on the Boppy i wait till i know she is really out before i can pick her up and put her in the crib. But even then she will only sleep for 3-4 hrs at a time and will not self soothe herself back to sleep. She will not sleep if i just lay her down in the crib she will cry hard not just the come get me cry.. What can i do to help her learn to stay asleep and let her know her crib is not a punishment? Her naps are short also what can i do to help her stay asleep?
I have a child who is 2 years old and won’t sleep in her own bed. We tried letting her cry it out and it seemed to be working and then one night she just started refusing to go to bed. She would stand at the top of the stairs and scream everyone’s name as loud as she could until she would finally fall asleep in the floor. Now we are living in a place where she is having to sleep in the same room as us and now we really cant get her to sleep in her own bed. She sleeps with us every night and if we put her to sleep and then put her to bed she wakes up in the middle of the night and gets in bed with us. The only way I can get her to go to sleep at a decent time is to not give her a nap. She sleeps about 12 hours a night and when I give her a nap she won’t go to sleep until midnight or later. I have tried cutting her naptime down to even 30 minutes and nothing is working. She also has a problem with what seems to be nightly nightmares. Every single night she wakes up crying, shaking and terrified after about 3 hours of sleep. How do I get her in her own bed and asleep at a decent time and keep her from waking up every night scared and wanting in our bed?
Hi , firstly thanks for your emails and suggestions it helped a lot.my daughter Zara is now 9 months old. she started standing up and walking by holding on the furniture about a month ago.it was lovely to watch her doing all this alone but now when she wakes up at night she started standing up and crying.I used to leave her for a few mins and she would go back to sleep.Now she stands up and i don’t know what to do.I tried to put her back but she keeps standing up and crying. now i pick her up and rock to sleep it’s like going back to square one.
My daughter, Gabriella (10mo), is still not sleeping through the night. She falls asleep on her own (no soothers) at 7:30pm in her bed w/o a night light. She eats soled food at 6pm and drinks 5-6 ounces of formula before bed. She was waking at 5:30-6am to feed and then would go back to sleep until 8am. The past 1-2 weeks she has been waking anywhere from 3:30 – 4:30am, crying, standing in her crib. For the most part she was going right back to sleep after I nursed her, but past couple of nights she has not gone back to sleep. I’ve let her cry, another time changed her diaper. I’ve tried changing her meal time and what I feed her during the day. Nothing seems to help. She is not teething or sick. ANY SUGGESTIONS??? I NEED SLEEP?
My name is Wioleta, and I have 15-month old twins. Three weeks ago we started sleep training based on your book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. We do crying it out sleeping method (extinction), and it really works. During the first night it took them 55 minutes to fall asleep on their own. Now it usually takes them around 5 minutes. We put them to bed between 6:30 and 7:00 pm. The problem is during the night when they wake up and cry. We try to pat their backs but it does not work. They want to be held and rock to sleep. Sometimes it takes us 1-2 hours to put them back to sleep. What would be your advice? Both my husband and I are seeking any good solution to have a better sleep also.
i tried to move him from my bed to the crib and my 3 1/2 month son, chris cried for 2 1/2 hrs. we couldn’t stand it anymore so we picked him up. he was just shaking and still crying by the time we picked him up. he does have a bed time routine, bath, a short massage, then nursed to sleep. what else can we d0?
My baby is already 4 months old and she wakes at night for at least 3 times, when is she going to start sleeping all night?
Hi Dana,
I have three children, the youngest of whom is 8 months old. I have read all of your words of wisdom and that, combined with the experience that comes with having two older children who were great nappers, but I am still struggling with naptime. Here is the issue: my little guys sleeps great through the night, but has a tough time with naps. He takes 30 to 40 minute naps at a time, sometimes two times a day — that’s it! The problem is that I sometimes have to wake him to take my other two to school or wake him at pick up time. In addition, my kids have after school activities that also interfere with naps. I cannot keep a routine, which I know is major. He will sleep the 10 minute ride to school or activities and that doesn’t help either. He is always getting cheated! We do not have child care help and I am not working outside the home. What can I do about this, if anything???? Thanks.
My baby Maddison is nearly 4 weeks old. She sleeps mainly in the arms of someone else but will not sleep on her back in the moses basket, we have tried everything that we can think of. So at night we take it in turn and stay awake on the sofa while she sleeps in our arms. I do not feel comfortable with her in our bed. I survive on 3-4 hrs sleep a night as breastfeeding, I don’ want her to get used to bottle feeding yet so expressing is out of the question at the moment. I was told this won’t be for a long time but I now get tearful. I have no enthusiasm tp do anything or go anywhere (the snow has not helped over the last few weeks).
Maddison was born 3 weeks early, not sure if thats a reason, but she likes to be held in the fetal position.
The only time we can put her in the moses basket is when she has fallen asleep on us, then put on her front which people do not recommend sleeping on front in cots due to cot deaths, so we only do it when supervised and for nap times only.
I hope you can help.
Hayley Davies
Hertfordshire
UK
Hi there,
My baby girl (Elizabeth) is 15 weeks old and in the early weeks she both had colic and projectile vomited unless she was held upright for 45 mins after feeds. Consequently, we now have a baby who cannot fall asleep unless she is being rocked/held/breastfed.
Her morning naps are in her Amby natures nest (hammock) and she will only have 1 45 min sleep cycle in that, unless I pre-empt this by going in after 40 mins and giving her another push – then she’ll sleep another 45 mins.
She settles naturally about 10pm and will go in her nest. Or, if I go to sleep with her, she is actually tired enough to go to sleep at around 7.30 – as long as I’m with her.
My question is: why is it that she will sleep for long periods after 10pm (4-5 hours) without needing rocking and reassurance, but will only do 1 sleep cycle at best from the time she wakes in the morning to about 10pm???
I feel like the situation is getting worse as she gets older, as she seems to need more rocking the older she gets.
We tried a gradual retreat sleep program when she was about 10 weeks, reducing the contact every 3 days, but she never made any progress and just screamed hysterically. She seemed to just get better on her own…..will this issue resolve itself in a similar way??
Many thanks,
Linzi
I’m just wanting to know how to dress my 9 month old baby for bed, it can sometimes be around 26-29 degrees celcius in his room when i put him to bed at 7pm, but can drop down to 18-20 degrees by around 4am. I put him in a grobag as he crawls around alot in his cot during the night, but they say to vary what they are wearing and which grobag to use depending on the temperature in the room, well how do you dress them when the temperature varys so much? i have tried going in and putting a cover over him if it’s gotten cold but he just gets out from under it in minutes, he sometimes stirs throughout the night, and i’m never sure if it’s because he’s cold or not!
Please help. My baby , almost 7 months old, WILL NOT sleep through the night, ever. I have tried everything…cereal at night, feeding him right before his bedtime at 8:30-9pm, feeding him again before my bedtime at 11:30pm, regular bedtime routine (which includes bath/bottle), letting him sleep with one of my shirts with my scent, bedtime clasical or lullaby music, ..etc When he wakes up he never wants anything, but we put his pacifier in his mouth and he usually goes right to sleep. He wakes up around 5am like clock work and lately I have been feeding him a bottle at that time. I would really like for him to sleep until at least 6:30am-7am , uninterrupted.
What could we be doing wrong. The only thing I haven’t tried is putting him in his cribe awake . That is my next idea.
Please help, after 7 months of this, it is really affecting our sleep.
Andrea
Hi Dana,
I have a 6 month old daughter who used to sleep through the night beautifully since she was 7 weeks old from 8pm to 5-6am (she sleeps in her crib next to our bed). When she turned 4 months, we followed the same bed routine of bath, breastfeed and sleep (she used to fall asleep while feeding) only to find that she wakes up after 45mins-1hour and this would repeat about 2-3 times until midnight, then she sleeps through till 6am. While we went on holidays, it has gotten worse, she would wake up every 3-4 hours. Now that we are back home for almost a week, I have started a proper routine. Also, I have not let her sleep while breastfeeding (she protested at first, but after a few days, she is ok with it). I have tried to let her fall asleep by herself using the Sleep Sense Technique. I stay in the room with her and kiss her while I stroke her head, she would fall asleep and wake up again after 45mins – 1 hr and does this 2-3 times till around 11pm, then she sleeps till 6-7am. She would then wake up for a breastfeed and falls asleep again on her own for 2-3 hours till 9-10am. Is the long morning nap affecting her sleep at night? How can we stop her to wake up at night. She naps at grandma’s house during the day in a normal bed, grandma sleeps next to her to get her to nap during the day. Should she be sleeping in the cot all the time so that she does not wake up at night?
Looking forward to your reply
Thanks
My daughter Miley is now 18 months old and does well sleeping on her own in her own room in her crib, only waking once throughout the night. We have a wedding coming up in April that is going to take us away from home and having us stay in a motel for a couple days. There are no suite rooms available to stay in and I am concerned how Miley is going to sleep with us in the room with her. She usually only sleeps well when by herself. If you have any suggestions let me know please and thank you.
Tricia Benda
I just found out about your website only recently and I wished I would have known about it 10 years ago. My daughter has had difficulty sleeping since day one and she is now 10 years old. I was told by my doctor(s) to just accept the fact that she is just the type of child who does not require a great deal of sleep. I have also tried many medications to help initiate sleep and none have been very effective. As an infant she always required me to rock her to sleep and yes I was one of those moms who would take her for a walk in her stroller at 2 a.m. She always wants either mom or dad in her room to fall asleep and wakes up in the middle of the night and wants one of us to fall asleep with her. Once again, falling back asleep is always difficult for her even with one of us there. She tells us she is afraid, but does not know what she is afraid of. We wake up in the morning very tired as we never have a full nights rest. We keep thinking things will change, but it has been 10 years!!!! Help!!!
Is it ok to let my 3 month old cry and how long?
My 7 month old (just turned) has started teething (bottom 2) and has now gone off solid food and wakes every hour (he never sleptmore than 3.5 hrs since born). How can I get him back on track with eating, taking formula and have longer sleep periods at night -I’m very tired! Thanks
Hi,
My name is brigette and I am mommy to a 3 year little girl Jazzmin. Since birth she has had 2 seperate households. The other would be with her daddy. I am the primary parent. Jazzmin started sleeping in her crib. When she was 2 years old Jazzmin was move to our adult beds…at her daddy house as well. Almost 3 year her daddy brought her a small toddler bed and place it in his room until she got use it. She still slept with me. Her daddy recently organized her room and has her sleep alone in her bed…sometimes it’s a strugggle for him. He rewards with a candy if she does sleep the entire night in her bed. He seems to believe that it’s because I still have her in my bedroom. I recently got her a toddler bed and we are now going on a week of sleeping by herself but still in my room. I want to know how I can slowly easy her to her own room? Her daddy did it almost immediatly and has shock her that she now wants to sleep only at mommy house. I know we both did wrong by letting her stay in our beds, therefore I don’t want her to feel like it’s a punishment. I want her to feel excited and a big girl for sleeping in her own bedroom, as she does now for sleeping her toddler bed. Thank you!
Our son Wyatt (8 months) is in a daycare that has the kids doing every activity possible during the day. Wyatt just loves going to daycare. Recently, our daycare says that Wyatt doesn’t like to take naps. He usually took about an hour nap in the morning one in the afternoon. Now, we are lucky to have him napping for 15 minutes total for the whole day. He is a completely different baby. He is now very clingy and looks tired all the time. I believe the problem is he falls asleep with the bottle and since the daycare is always so busy, when he gets put down it is after his bottle (like at home). He often cries or gets startled now when he is with us at home and we try to put him in his crib for a nap. Of course if we do that without a bottle, he absolutly won’t sleep. I know I need to get him to fall asleep on his own, but how do I do that short of him crying it out? And how do I find a happy medium so that daycare and I are doing the same routine even though our environments are totally different?
we have a 4 1/2month old who has learned how to roll over onto her tummy. She has not learned to roll back though and wakes up every 2-3 hours in frustration – any suggestions on how to get her to stop rolling over in her sleep plz?
I have eight month old twins that used to sleep beautifully, all through the night, until a very bad cold, and teething. After the cold, they are up at all times of the night, and I have not had a night’s sleep in eight months!!!!!!!!!! My husband grumbles because he needs to go to work, and since when isn’t mothering twins NOT WORK???????!!!!
Is there anything that you can help us with? We live in Sammamish, WA. We have skype, so we can see each other during a consultation.
HELP!!!!!!!!
My twins grandson’s are 15 months old and sleep in the same room. When 1 wakes up, the other one is awakened. Should they be separated or what to do? Very rarely do they both sleep thru the night.
Cameron is 14 months . He goes to nursery five days a week from 8am – 6pm. Well he gets up between 6-7am in the morning . He does not go to bed without me so we go to bed around 8am but at times he does not fall asleep untill 9 -9.30pm. At time he gets up 2 – 3 for a feed. I just give him water at times but he will only have a mouth ful goes back to sleep and 30mins later he crying for milk. I would love for him to sleep through the night what can I do ?
how do you help a clingy, nursing 16month son sleep thru the night, who has been separated from his mom everyweekend since 9mos for overnights with his father?
My 14 month old still not sleeping through the night , me or my husband have to sleep with him. He will sleep good until midnight or so then wakes up and wanting a bottle or is restless throughout the rest of the night
what can i do about this.
Hi dana. i hope to be in the first 50-100 to get your free book.
here is my question. my son Joshua is 7 months old will be 8 months next 20 january. he is 15 lbs, he doesnt go to sleep on his own, we have to carry him to put him to sleep, and he still wake up once o twice at night to eat, i was breast feeding but now am combining breast and bottle. i need help i want to sleep all night and also i want him to take nap during the day without crying and me holding him. same at night.
what should i do?
Kiana is almost 4 years old, she falls asleep by herself with no problem, no teddy bears, no pacifiers, without me in the room. However she wakes up several times just sobbing, I come in aks her if she is ok, she tells me something that does not make sense, like ” I need a Hat” or “MOm said no playing right now” I agree with her statements, lay her back down, and she goes back to sleep. The next morning she does not remember the events. What’s going on? Any suggestions to stop this from happening?
Thank you
I have a one year old that doesn’t sleep through the night. I am at my wits end with it as I work full time and don’t know how much longer I can continue with dramatically less and such broken sleep. He has 1 to 2 naps a day, both of which are in his cot. You can put him down easily awake and he falls asleep no problem. Same in the evening. We have strict, bath and bedtime story routine and again he goes down no problem after a milk bottle. He awakes around midnight and can be up for anything up to 4 hours! I give in after 1.5 hours and bring him in with us and give him milk bottle. Help…Help…Help!
Hi Dana
I have an 11 month boy who is generally a good sleeper ie 7.30 til 7ish to get him to sleep he has a 8oz bottle falls asleep in my arms then I take him to his cot but recently he has started to wake once during the night screaming, i try not to pick him up but some times easier to pick quick cuddle then he goes back to sleep til morning, I have tried to leave him but dont like to see him upset, please help.
My son is 2 1/2 and has always been a good sleeper, until early november we put in into a bed (wouldnt have done it so soon but trip required it!) at first he stayed in bed and was fine. After 3-4 weeks (around christmas time)he began getting out of bed until putting him back did not work so we put a safety gate across his door.
He now will not go to sleep without one of us sitting with him, he doesnt talk or get out of bed, but it can take 30-45mins to get him to sleep!he will sometimes wake as i leave the room, but i leave anyway and he will stand at gate calling for us.
At night he will ususlaly settle within a few minutes and sleep all night.
He is generally very clingy not even liking me to leave the room.
In the day he will not settle unless i sit with him til asleep.this is very difficult as i have a 10month old daughter too!
He has started pre-school also but has been clingy before that.
This is even
Our daughter, Olivia is 15 months old and typically sleeps through the night. However, lately she is getting up around 3 am and takes about 1 hr to get her back to sleep. She shares a room with her brother so it is difficult to let her “cry it out” with him in the room.
Can you help with any suggestions
My baby is 6 months old we have recently moved him onto 3 meals of solids a day so this week dropped his dream feed at 10.00pm. His bedtime is 8.00p.m. Since we dropped this bottle he has woken 8-10times during the night crying, so we have giving him his dummy and he usually goes back to sleep for an hour then wakes up again for it. The problem is he used to get up at 7.00a.m. now he is awake from around six and it is messing up his schedule and making him overtired during the day resulting in short naps. He is put down awake swaddled with a dummy. Don’t know whether to start the dream feed again although he is getting more than enough to eat during the day. Any advice greatly appreciated.
My son is 34 months old and he has recently moved from a cot to a bed. He still has a 2 hour nap during the day. We start the sleep process from about 9-9.30pm with drinking some milk, brushing his teeth, reading a book, changing his nappy and finally putting him to sleep 10.30pm. He always avoids sleeping and I am now sleeping on the floor because he needs me to fall asleep and then he wakes up during the night around 4am saying he is scared. I tell him to go back to sleep and he does. But he wakes up probably every hour until I have to wake up to go to work at 7-730am. I tell him to go back to sleep, but unless I am there he wont sleep. How am I going to get out of this routine. I have been sleeping with him for almost a year on the floor.
My son is 17 months old … and I really don’t know what to do … I work evening shift I came home around 11:45 PM / 12:00 AM … When I get home my son still awake I always told my wife to try to put him to sleep early but she never did … He can’t sleep at night he start being active around 10,11 at night …please I need help what I can do … there is anything tecnique I can try …I can,t sleep at night Iam getting very stressed….
Hi Dana
When my son was born he slept quite well. As time went by he became hungry at 4 months and after we started him gradually on solids he slept all night. Then, just as he turned 6 months he seemed to be waking at night and just wanting to be breastfed. I felt sorry for him because he was also teething at that time. He is now 8 months old exactly, he has two teeth out already and he is still waking often at night. Infact, everything that Kayla describes in her question above fits my situation perfectly. He takes very short naps during the day and when he wakes up he moans and groans and seems tired still. He is also very clingy and seems to want to be on the breast more than usual. He cries when he wakes up. We have a bed time routine, eat, bath, massage then breastfeed and he’s off to la-la land, but lately, not for long. We’ve tried to just put him down while still awake (when he was 3 months old and again recently) but shouts and performs and since we live with other people it is really hard to follow through. I also can’t stand to see him crying and obviously miserable. Please help me to be able to help my baby sleep better.
my 9 mos old son has co-slept with us since he was a couple months old. just before 4 mos we started a bedtime routine and putting him to sleep in his separate bed, next to ours. he would sleep through until early morning (4-6) and then eat and go back to sleep. however, once he cut the first of his teeth and we set out traveling to europe and then cross country for weeks at a time, he is waking multiple times through the night and will only calm down if i nurse him back to sleep. we have tried to start sleeping him in his crib but if we put him down awake he will stand and scream and cry for great lengths regardless of our presence or reassurance. not only is he having night time issues, but since we have returned home he is also no longer napping (he was sleeping 1-2.5 morning hours + a sometimes afternoon shorter nap). he is becoming much fussier and whining almost constantly. he has been such a happy, laughing, active guy (he has started walking at 9 mos) that this mood change is disturbing.
we’re all exhausted. don’t know what to do, as we’ve tried putting him down awake and going in to soothe him, but he will endlessly cry and we cannot handle letting him get so worked up.
My 3 month old (breastfed) is still waking every 2 hours to feed in the middle of night. I am not sure if it is a hunger issue or just an issue of him not being able to put himself back to sleep. Any suggestions for telling the difference and some tips to try to get him to sleep a little longer?
Are there any good tricks to get my toddler to sleep at his scheduled naptime when he fell asleep in the car for 15 minutes? If my son falls asleep for even 5 or ten minutes in the car, he almost never takes his regular nap because I guess he feels he’s slept already. What can I do when those situations arise?
My children were both exactly the same. I ended up scheduling pretty much everything to make sure we were home in plenty of time for sleeps or planning to have them sleep in the car (fine for me as we live at least 30 mins from anywhere!). Where possible, I would plan to put them down for a sleep (like if we were visiting). If they did nap for a few minutes (which happened a bit as they got tired early) then I would either:
(1) put them in bed for some “quiet time” and get them up maybe 15 mins later
(2) put them to bed a littel earlier that night and live with the grizzles for the afternoon. Hope that helps.
My son is 2.5 years old. He has been a good sleeper since 6 months – since we did the ferber method. He was recently sick and I held him in my arms while sitting in a chair in his room to help him fall asleep. He was so congested for several days that he stopped using his pacifiers too. So, we used the opportunity to take them away – telling him the pacifier fairy brought them to babies who need them. Now, one week later, and mostly better from illness, he cries several times in the night for me, asking for me to hold him. I feel like we have regressed 2 years! Was the mistake holding him in my arms when he was initally sick, or taking his pacifiers away, or both. How do I resolve this now? Give his pacifiers back? Let him cry it out like we did for 2 days when he was a 6 month old baby?
Thanks for your time!
I have no problems with trying the program, but my husband does. He feels like kids must be comforted at all times because they are insecure about the world. He would sit with Aleks for hours in the bedroom while Aleks is crying begging to take him out of the crib. He would not let me to sleep-train Aleks. Do you have an advice?
hey,my son is 9 months old now,he use to be a really good sleeper a few months ago,like he would sleep 8pm till aboy 6-7am but when its started getting colder outside he won’t sleep in his own bed he will only sleep in mine,nut when he is in my bed he sleeps straight through,what can i do to get him to sleep in his own cot and sleep through??
thanks,kellie
x
Hi! My daughter Lina is almost 9 month and I have still trouble to put her in bed. She cries and she wants me to stay a bit. Apart from this she always wakes up at least once around 4-5 am. Most of the times she just lost her pacifier and I need to put it back to see her asleep. I have tried to leave her without it but I gave up a few weeks ago. Do you have any suggestion about this? I really would like to through the dummy and get rid of it but I find it quite difficult.
Thank you for your reply!
Rosi
My almost 4 year old daughter won’t sleep in her own bedroom – was moved in with her 2 year old brother about five months ago when visitors needed her bedroom and now she won’t move back. Bedtime is a nightmare, we have to sit with her until she falls asleep – if we leave the room she cries and cries (which will wake or disturb our son) so one of us will give in and go sit or lie on her bed til she nods off. What can we do other than put her back in her room and let her scream it out.
My son has always been a dreadful sleeper, screaming half the night no matter what we tried. He is now almost 2 1/2 years old and had started sleeping most nights and occasionally waking for a bottle (yes we ended up “milking” him to sleep in desperation. He has now regressed back to the screaming half the night and asking for lots of bottles (like 3 in an hour). I have now stoipped the night bottles altogether and have tried staying in the room and then controlled crying, telling him I am going to leave now and not coming back in. Its now Day 13 and he slept for 3 nights in a row but last night was back to the screaming. He settled after 45 mins (phew – a short one) with key phrases and then just leaving him but his history tells me, this isn’t going to work ewither no matter what we try (and we are very consistent!. Any thoughts much appreciated – desperate mum of two who only gets about 4 hours sleep (and then goes to work!)
My daughter Danielle is 2 years and 5 Months and always had sleep problems. She would not go to sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 at night, esp. if she had a good nap. She would also wake up about 5-7 times a night were I had to get up and put her back in her bed. I got your Book online and it helped me a lot. I follow a routine and now she is falling asleep by 9:00-9:30pm if she had a good afternoon nape and by 7:00-8:30pm w/o a nap. But the only thing is that she still wakes up 3-5 times a night. She gets out of bed runes to my bedroom most of the time scramming mommy, and I get up to put her back into bed and she falls back to sleep. Sometime she wants water, or her passifier. Is there any way I can brake that habit. please I am still losing sleep over her. Help!
My son is 14-months old and he sleeps well during the night. He also takes a good 2hr nap in the afternoon. The only problem is that he doesn’t like going to bed or have trouble falling asleep. It’ll take him about 2hrs to finally fall asleep. We do regular bedtime routines (such as reading books) and he seems to enjoy them, but once I turn off the lights he’ll start whining or if I leave the room he’ll keep crying. I quietly tell him it’s bedtime and when I lie down with him he’ll whine again and stands up. He’s been weaned from breastfeeding for about a month now. How do I get my toddler to go to bed and lay down by himself?
Hi Dana, Im a mum to a 26th month old little girl called Ella and am finding it so very hard to get her down for day sleeps and night sleeps. She wont go down at night till 10:30 – 11pm and i have to hold/cuddle her to sleep. I have tried being beside the bed for her and moving further away each night, but she still notices me leaving even after an hour or so and wont stay in bed.
Im so exhausted and i can tell Ella is too. She still wakes sometimes at night and i cant get her back to sleep in her bed. Im so tired that i put her in my bed and she falls asleep straight away. Please help, Ive tried so many things to get her to sleep. many thanks!!
Hi Dana — My son is 20 months old. He takes one nap every day that lasts anywhere from 1.5-3 hours. He goes to bed every night at around 10:00pm. He usually gets tired, grabs his blanket and his passy, and cuddles up on the floor, or with me or dad. I have found that if he falls asleep any time before 9:45pm, he will wake up in the middle of the night and be wide awake. He usually tosses and turns for about 30-45min. before getting all the way up. He is then usually awake about 2-3 hours before he will fall back asleep. On normal nights when he does not wake up, he will wake up at about 9:30 in the morning. I am not sure what to do about this, or why it is happening. But, when he goes numerous nights in a row waking up becasue he fell asleep too early, it really takes a toll on me (and him I would imagine). Any thoughts?
Hi Dana, I have 2 1/2 year old twin girls. One of my daughters sleeps well and the other one wakes up and is clingy to mom. I do work part time so it has been easier to put her in our bed just to get sleep but I know this habit will get worse if we don’t stop now. After the new year we did try the cry it out method which did not work she screamed for 3 hours and woke the whole house up. She likes to play with my hair when she is tired and I have tried to get her to stop that. They don’t always take good naps during the day. Some days we miss naps and she still wakes up screaming at night. I’ve tried meds. from the doctor because we thought she was having night terrors but that didn’t help either. We do have a chair in the room it’s near the door so we have tried that also. Her bed is near the door so thats were the chair is already. Please help any suggestions.
I have a daughter who just turned four in December. Her sleeping has been totally backwards, she is like an infant, she has her days and nights mixed up! She want to stay up all night and sleeps all day, I have tried the obvious with trying to wake her up earlier in the day but to no evail. Please Help!!!!
My child Jalyssa is 15months old & she was on a regualr sleep & nap schedule. Awake at 730am,nap at 1130am, sleep for about an 1 1/2 then back to bed at 8pm. But now after being sick she has thrown all that out the window. Even when I put her down for a nap at her old time which was 11:30,.she cries & refuses for an hour & i cave in & let her stay awake until she gets tired at 3pm!!! Am I helping or hurting the situation by “forcing” her to get back into her old routine?
Hi Dana
My daughter has just turned 9months old. for the past 2 weeks she has started to wake up every night without fail at 2am and will not go back to sleep till about 5.30am. She will continue to cry and scream through this period. If I go to her she seems to settle if I hold her or just put my hand on her cheek. I know she has been teething and has developed a cold. Could it be the teething or has she just got so used to it and can;t put herself back to sleep? She was fine before and she does go to sleep herself when I put her into her cot although she has started to cry when she is going into her cot.
She has a morning nap of 30mins and a 2.5hour nap at lunchtime. Should I be shortening the lunchtime nap? Could she be scared at her age? I really am a bit stuck on what to do next.
Thanks
My little girl is 16 months old and still doesn’t sleep through the night nor does she know how to fall asleep on her own. When she wakes at night she will be up for 1 hour or longer, while I sweat trying to rock her back to sleep. She is now 25 lbs and I don’t think I can rock her for hours on end anymore…my arms and back are always sore! Please help!
The La Leche League will tell you that co-sleeping, AND EXTENDED BREASTFEEDING ARE BENEFICIAL FOR THE BABIES’ BRAIN DEVELOPMENT. NIGHT TIME NURSING WILL EVENTUALLY FADE ON IT’S OWN. WE ARE SO ASHAMED OF OUR POOR SLEEPERS, AS IF WE ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL OVER ANOTHER PERSON’S BIOLOGICAL SYSTEM. IN MOST CULTURES BABIES CO-SLEEP AND ARE WORN MOST OF THE DAY. ALL WE WANT TO DO WITH OUR BABIES IS FEED THEM BOTTLES, SHIP THEM OFF TO DAYCARE, MAKE THEM SLEEP IN CRIBS, AND LEAVE THEM WITH BABYSITTERS SO THAT WE CAN GO OUT AT NIGHT. YES, MY NON-SLEEPER IS VERY EXHAUSTING, BUT I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT SHE AND I HAVE A BOND MUCH STRONGER THAN BABIES WHO ARE FORCED TO FALL ASLEEP ON THEIR OWN BEFORE THEY ARE READY. A BABY WHO IS TRAUMATIZED AT THE HANDS OF THEIR PARENTS STOPS TRUSTING THOSE VERY PARENTS.
Not every parent wants to ship their children off to daycare or always leave them with babysitters so they can go out. I hardly think it is traumatizing to help a child learn to fall asleep on their own. If you are constantly sleeping with them they will never learn to do this on their own and just because you dont allow your child to sleep with you every night doesnt mean you have less of a bond with them either. Whoever told you this needs to be a bit more educated.
I think never might be a bit of an exaggeration. Also, I never said that children who sleep in cribs aren’t bonded to their mother. The cry-it-out method is traumatizing. If you need more information on why this is so, please contact an attachment parenting group, or read The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.
First of all I am a mother of five children and it sounds to me like you are the one who needs more information and please explain to me how a child will ever learn to fall asleep on their own if you are always there. I tried the same thing with my two of my children, always going to them every time they cried and to this day they still have a hard time sleeping through the night, one is 11 and the other is nine. Since you seem to know so much any information would really help.
There are very well-educated people that you can find on the internet that will caution you to avoid sleep-training. The Ask Dr. Sears website is a goldmine.
A modified Ferber method is the best that you could come up with? Even Ferber has admitted that “Ferberizing” isn’t a good match for many infants. The Attachment Parenting group will also tell you that c.i.o. methods, regardless of the amount of time you spend in the room while the baby is crying in the crib, ARE TRAUMATIZING AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED.
“Clingyness” is an attribute of the high needs baby. The baby needs more love, touch, and attention from mom than does a lower needs baby. “Clinyness” is not neccesarily derived from sleep deprivation. Wakefullness is also a trait of the high needs baby. My friend’s baby is a poor sleeper, but not clingy.
Din is 8 and a half months now and although he hadnt slept a full night til the age of 7 months, I used controlled crying (but I tweaked it a bit to make it kinder) and I cracked it! He slept brilliant from the 1st day tried it! However, Dion was poorly and obviously was waking again and needing medicine and picking up etc. Now Dion has started waking again (not every night but 3 out of 5). He also tends to wake at 5.30 generally for his 1st feed of the day, regardless of whether he has woken in the night or not!! What can I do to at least stop the early waking?
Hello, my son is 3. He had colic as a infant, acid reflux, asthma, and allergies. The asthma, acid reflux and colic of course has all improved or is no longer a problem. He has only slept through the night maybe 8-10 times in his life. He was always up 1-2 times in the crib. We recently had another baby and moved him to his brother’s bed long before the baby was born. He was still up 1-3 times each night. I would go back in and settle him down and he would go back to sleep. He started about 10 months ago coming to our room and climbing in bed. I take him back and he is asleep, I walk out, and he is literally standing by my bed again. He says he is scared and is very anxious. He is now in a little fold out chair beside my bed in the floor just so I can get some sleep. He still gets up 1-2 times a night. Ii is as if he is never fully asleep. He wakes up with the slightest sound and will go to bed every night about 8:00 and will wake up the first time around 11:30 or 12:00. After that is off and on all night. My baby by the way gets put down awake and sleeps through the night and has since he was 2 weeks old. I want him to be comfortable,not be scared, and be rested. I know how I feel, I can’t imagine how frustrated he feels. HELP!
Hello Dana,
My son Marcus is 15 months old and he is finally able to fall asleep on his own crib thanks to your emails( However most of the times, I still have to talk to him or sing a song seating away from him until he is very tired or has fallen asleep). Marcus still wakes up in the middle of the night and expects me to come to see him and either sing him a song or talk him back to sleep. In the past I had to pick him up in order to go back to sleep. How could I get him used to go back to sleep on his own without let him cry out.
Thank you so much,
Martha
PD: I’m hoping to be the LUCKY winner of your program. I have heard such as good things about it!!!!! I read your emails all the time,
(thank you!!!) and would love to be able to purchase your awesome program but unfortunately, I’m a stayed-home mom and can’t afford it right now.
Hello wondering if you had any ideaas to help us. My daughter Mia has always woken up in the night asking for a drink of water or juice we have tried to go cold turkey but that does not work. She has now been diagnosed with diabetes insipidus. Have you ever had a child with this condition also having problems at night sleeping as we are not allowed to stop her drinking now as it could make her very ill! Please help!
I have a 3.5 month old and she has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep due to gas problems. I’ve modified my diet drastically and it seems to help a bit, but she still has a lot of nights where she is waking up every couple of hours due to painful gas. Is there anything I can do to help her sleep better?
Hi! My son, Stevie, is 10 months old, and our trouble is nap time. He goes to daycare during the week, and usually takes 2 significant naps there during the day (usually 1.5-2.5 hrs each). We seem to have a problem there only if NEITHER of his 2 favorite providers are working that day. Then he will still go down for one or two naps, but only for about 30-40 minutes at a time. His normal provider says that she can lay him down in his crib, with/without a soother and a light blanket, and he will put himself to sleep. So I know that he knows how to put himself to sleep.
However, he will not do this on the week-ends. We are having significant trouble getting him to sleep in the afternoon on Saturday and Sunday. Stevie wakes up in the morning, usually about 6:30-7AM, nurses, and then goes back down for a morning nap that lasts until about 10AM. He will then start to seem tired about 1:00-1:30, but we can’t get him to go to sleep. He then starts getting cranky, and we will ultimately have more trouble getting him down for the night than we do during the week.
Night-times during the week have improved GREATLY since he no longer expects to be nursed to sleep. Putting him down at night has become a 10-15 minute routine instead of an 60-120 minute trial, that included a 3AM wake-up call.
I’d like to know how to help them with him on the “off” days, but my main concern is the week-ends. Since we can’t do things for 3 days in a row, how can I help him to take better naps on the week-end?
My hope, really, is that if we can improve week-end naps, the week-day naps will improve as well.
Any help is appreciated!
Thanks!!
Our 17 month old daughter really fights her naps….we stay in there and rub her belly while she cries and eventually gives in after 20-30min and then she only sleeps for 30minutes…she used to nap 2 x a day for 1- 1 1/2 hours….at night she goes to bed around 7:30/8 and sleeps until 5 or 6…so, that’s better than it was….but, the naps and she’s so exhausted! thank you!
My son Josh will be 3 in February and he is in his toddler bed and sometimes he wants to go to sleep on his floor. Every night he will try to come in to my bed at least 2-4 times during the night and I get up 2-4 times a night and walk him back to his bed and it seems like he is back to sleep before his head hits the pillow. I do not know how to get him to sleep all night without getting up. I’m not sure if he awake or sleepwalking. He used to sleep all night. He also doesn’t want to eat dinner. It takes him 1-2 hours to take 5-10 bites. He doesn’t take naps anymore during the day and goes to bed at 11pm and gets up about 10-11 am (with the 3, 4, and 6am wake ups). Pleas help.
Is it possible that my 15 month old son would have nightmares already? He fell asleep on his little fold out couch the other day and I was watching him sleep. About 15-20 min went by and he woke up with his eyes wide open and a very scared look on his face and instantly cried. If it isn’t nightmares what would cause him to immediately cry out of a deep sleep?
My grandson (32 months) insists on touching and even sucking on my breasts to fall asleep when he comes to my house. Of course, when he goes home, it’s even harder to fall asleep since my daughter won’t allow him to do that to her. How can I stop him?
you let your grandson nurse from you????
At what month should you start a routine? There are many who say not to until the child is at least 2 months old and others who say the sooner the better.
My son is 7 months old and he will occationally sleep through the night. I will think “oh maybe this is it, now he will continue” only to find the next night he wakes up 1 or 2 times. He sits up in his bed and cries until I come and get him, give him his passy and get him back to sleep. How can i get him to sleep through the night every night without having to go in and console him?
I have a 3 1/2 month old who is sleeping really well most nights, but I have trouble getting her to go to sleep at a decent time because of how her naps are timed. Do you have an example of what a typical day for her should be so I can have her asleep for the night between 7 and 8 p.m. Thanks so much!
Heidi
Hi,
My mom insists that letting Ethan cry for up to an hour is too long, however, my doctor told me to do it. At 3am this morning my mom came in our room and got Ethan up because he was crying really bad for around 45 minutes. I told her not to, but she did anyway. What is your opinion on this?
Dana, Good morning. What am I missing here??? I have an 11 month old son whose longest sleep session during the night is 7 hours (he wakes up at 3:30-4:00). He has a bedtime routine of bath, bottle, cuddle and put bed awake. He usually goes to sleep within 15min. He gets 2-3 naps during the day at daycare, 2 of the naps are 1-1.5hrs and the third one is a catnap (20min or so). I thought he wasn’t getting to bed early enough during the week (I work fulltime) so on the weekends I try for a 2hr earlier bedtime and longer naps. He still won’t go down until the usual 9:00 or 9:30 at night. His weekend naps are longer though 2-3 naps at 2.5-3.0hrs. What am I doing wrong?
Hi, my granddaughter, Alyssa is 3, soon to be 4 in April. She is having difficulty sleeping in her bed all night. She will start in her bed and then go to Mom and Dad’s bed in the middle of the night, around 2 or 3am. She says she has scary dreams. They let her stay because they are too tired to take her back. Dad has to get up at 4am to get ready for work and Mom gets up at 5am. Do you have any suggestions on what would make her stay in her own bed all night.
My son is 9 months old and waking frequently though the night (every 3 hours). I would like for him to sleep for longer periods of time. He generally naps well during the day. He has spent very little time in his crib since he was born. I didn’t plan on having him sleep with us, it just developed naturally as it was the only way I could get any sleep when we first brought him home. I enjoy having him in bed with us but I wonder if it is contributing to his frequent awakenings. I am breastfeeding and when he wakes I offer the breast and he quickly drifts back to sleep. When I put him down at night and for naps he usually falls asleep at the breast and always with my assistance. I’ve been told to put him down awake but whenever I try that he stays awake and eventually starts crying. Everyone I’ve discussed this with including doctors tell me to let him cry. I don’t want to do that. Please help! Thanks
My son is a little over 3 and I know my husband and I have not handled his sleeping as well as we can, especially with reading all the material you have provided. My question is, “Is it too late?” We have to tackle the rocking him to sleep at night as well as the night waking. He, at one point in time, was a good sleeper when it came to sleeping through the night unfortunately, we have always rocked him but at this pont we are struggling with the night waking as well. He wakes at 2 in the morning and wants to sleep in our bed and at that point it is really hard to do the right thing. We try to but our child is very stubborn and will not stay in his bed when we take him back unless we lay down beside him; therefore, we are at our wits end on what to do and how to accomplish the end result of having a happy, rested child. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
My 7 month old daughter is just barely starting to sleep through the night and I am afraid that with the teething stage coming she will not remember what she learned about sleeping through the night. How can I make sure she is most comfortable when she does start teething?
hi my question is that wts the best age to put your child to sleep on his own. my daughter is now 13 months old. n i think i have spoiled her. she doesnt go to sleep on her own. wont stay asleep for more than an hour or 2. can i do something about it NOW or its too late?(she sleeps either while being nursed or in my lap while im walking)
my daughter kaitlyn is 9 mo old and will not crawl she can not seam to get her legs to move the way they should, she hates to be on her tummie she is about 25 pounds and 9mo old, she tries to pull her self up but cant, what is going on with her.
i have a 22month old duaghter who has never had sleep problems in the past until recently. she used to go to bed at 7pm every nite and straight to sleep.this was untill about 6 weeks ago when she started to cry as i left her room and now she wont go to sleep unless im there with her.as well as this she’s now waking up through the nite for me to be at her side every couple of hours.now her bedtime routine has gone because she just dont seem to work with it anymore.can anyone suggest how i can get her to sleep alone again?
My daughter is almost 16 months and only goes to bed with someone by her side holding her hand… The only time she sleeps on her own is in the car. Ummm did I mention she sleeps with us in our bed every night and in our bed for nap time….
I know we are at fault for this but now would like her to sleep in her own bed, should we make the transition to a bed or a crib due to her age?
Thanks for our help….
Hi Dana,
My question is short and sweet. To help keep my son Jude from waking up because his diaper is wet half way through the night should we not give him a bottle before bed or give him fewer ounces? I seems that is why he is waking at night. Right now he usually has a 6-8oz bottle before bed.
Thank You,
Colleen
Hi, my daughter is going to be turning two in Feb. We’ve recently had to move into my sister’s house temporarily placing my daughter in the same room as my husband and I instead of a room of her own which she is use to. I have problems getting her to sleep without giving her a bottle at night. I can’t just let her cry herself to sleep at night when there are two adults who don’t have kids in the next room, and if I do it takes about 30 minutes to an hour for her to fall asleep. How am I to get her to sleep without waking the whole house hold and without using a bottle?
My daughter, Zajana, now 14 months, moans in her sleep. Sometimes the moaning is so loud that we wake-up and she wakes herself up. I regularly have to get out of bed to change her sleeping position and then she will stop her moaning for a while. She has two naps during the day and then she never moans. It’s only during the night and she usually starts her moaning between 10 and 11 PM and this can go on all night. She started this moaning very young (when she was about 2 months). She eats well, is active, always laughing and developing normally. She goes to bed between 7 and 8 PM and usually falls a sleep quickly and makes no fuss. We sometimes take her in our bed when the moaning is just getting too much and, you would think, she’d settle down, but no. She only stops the moaning if you pick her up. Mind you this all happens while she is asleep and it has no effect on her it seems. When she wakes-up in the morning she is happy and ready to start her day with energy. It seems to be her way of sleeping. What could be causing this moaning? Thanks Claudia
Riley is 13 months and is still waking up during the night and hardly ever takes a nap during the day and if she does, it can range from 20 min to 2 hrs……and that’s if you’re holding her. I work so I’m only home with her at night and I know that part of her problem is me! When she does wake up at night, I go get her, give her a bottle and take her back to bed w/me so I can get some sleep.
She is in a twin bed now and not a crib.
I would be greatful for any advice
How much sleep should a seven month old be getting and what is an appropriate bedtime? Both parents work and if he goes to bed when he is tired, they would not get to spend much time with him. He is staying up to spend time with them and is sleep deprived beyond belief. It leaves him waking up every couple of hours during the night.
Hi, my son is just about to turn 2 years. He has never had a night light and we have always closed his door, but has started to call out in the night, I did’nt know if he is now scared of the dark or being on his own, at what age do children start to get scared at night and how can i reasuure him, without keep going in there
Emersyne is three and has Down Syndrome therefore, sleep apnea seems to be a problem. She frequently wakes up and most often it is around 1:00 a.m. and will not return to sleep until 4:00 a.m. if at all.
Dear Dana,
Our issue is that our relatives live abroad. They come to help 1-3 month at the time. They keep rocking and picking up the baby and after they leave I am stuck with a very clingy baby who screams as soon as I put her down. Bella is 9 month old now. I realized that she is behaving different with me then with her nannies. She is clingier with me. Is this my fault? Bella’s Mom
Olive who is almost 2 yrs, has been sleeping through the night, now all of a sudden she is waking up during the night around 2 or 3, she takes about a 3 hr. nap for the babysitter which she has been doing that nap for at least 6 mos. now, I am wondering if she is sleeping too long during the day and that is why she is waking up now, although she doesn’t do it everynight, or could it be something else. She does get up early in the morning too around 5:30.
Dana,
All of these things are great ideas HOWEVER, how do you handle a crying baby when your other kids need to sleep to wake up for school??? Also, our 18 month old started climbing out of her crib so we bought her a toddler bed and now she has become the clingy baby and sleeps only for short periods of time and in the middle of the night decides she can walk around. Do you recommend gating her in her room or how should we handle. This is my 3rd kid with sleep issues and I’m getting old and VERY tired. I need my sleep and we never have success.
THANKS
My Niece wakes up with night Terrors on a routine basis. Generally they last about 3-5 minutes. Sometimes they last longer. Carley is 2 and has been doing this for about 8 months. She is up 3-5 times a night. Once they are over she has a llittle bottle and is back off to sleep. Generally laying with me or my sister (mom).
My 5 month old has gotten attached to his pacifier and will often wake at night (almost every 2 hours) crying. When he is crying out, however, his eyes are usually still closed. As soon as the pacifier is put in his mouth, he goes right back to sleep for another few hours until he needs it again. I have tried to let him cry it out giving myself a 1-hour limit and he cried for a full 54 minutes. The issue is if I let him cry and cry, he’s waking our 7 year old. Suggestions?
Pick him up! Unless he is actually still asleep, and just sleep-crying, he needs physical contact. At five months old, he probably also needs to be fed. Don’t let Western Culture’s cry-it-out insanity usurp your biological urges to tend to a crying baby.
My daughter, Alexis, is almost 15 months old. She has only slept through the night about five times since birth! She does better some nights but usually wakes up around 3:30 am for a sippy of milk. We have a fairly consistent bedtime routine. She falls asleep on a mat on the floor with me laying next to her (usually without the sippy) whil watching cartoons and then I move her to her crib. When she wakes up she will take her sippy and almost immediately go back to sleep. I can then put her back in her crib and she will sleep until about 9 am. Any suggestions.
How long are you suppose to let your baby cry at nap or night time before going in to console them?
My son, Matthew, is 21 months old and is still not sleeping through the night. We’ve tried just letting him cry, but he gets very upset so we wind up picking him up and holding him for a while before putting him back down again. We are exhausted because we haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a long time. We would appreciate your suggestions. Thanks!
My Son Caiden Now Almost 15months Old Will Not Sleep In His Crib, I Have Tried Everything From Routines, To Feedings, To Lettin Him Cry It Out but The Problem Is His Crib Is In The Room With Our Bed and We Can’t Put Hin In Another Room Due To Our Living Arrangements Right Now, He Knows We Are Right There By Him and Even If He Wakes Up He Will Not Go Back To Sleep Until He Is Back In Our Bed. I Have Tried Ecknoring Him Hopin He Will Just Lay Back Down and Go To Sleep but It Is Hours Before He Will Even Try To and Sometimes He Even Cries So Much He Gets Mad and Fits and Has Tantrums, We Have Just Put Him Back In Our Bed but That’s Not Where I Want Him, I Want Him In His Crib, Help!! How Can I Get Him Use To His Crib Even Though It Is In The Same Room With Our Bed?! Thanks TRACY!!
My question is about weaning from breastfeeding. Everyone always says to remove one meal at a time, but this must only work for moms who feed at specific hours or for specific times. I breastfeed on demand, and don’t have a routine for this. I never did. And now, my little guy is going to turn one and my nipples are going to fall off unless I wean soon (he’s teething like mad)! So, my question is, how do you wean a baby that is breastfed freely?
Help! My daughter turned 1 in November and is still waking up in the night for a bottle. She doesnt have a bottle during the day at daycare. How do I get her off the bottle so she will sleep all night?
Hey, the video for sleep tips for clingy babies sounds alot like me and my 6 month old son Jake. I am going to try what you said to but my question is my son goes to daycare during the day. They rock him to sleep there. Do I just tell them what I’m working on doing and ask them to follow the same steps as me if they can? And what if they don’t or can’t? But I will work on his naps on the weekends.
Thank you for you time!
my 2 yr. old daughter will not sleep at njght and we have tried everything. please give us advice on what to do?
Since I started using this program 2 months ago my 4 1/2 month old son is sleeping through the night. However, every time we lay him down for naps and bedtime he cries for at least 5-10 min prior to falling asleep. To help establish the bedtime routine we read to him prior for all naps and bedtime, it is now getting to the point that every time I go to read to him he begins crying because he knows that he will be going to bed. Please help with this concern I don’t want my child to continue to cry every time we read to him or lay him down.
My 16 month old still wants to nurse every time she wakes up at night. I know I need to change what I do to get her to sleep because like you say if I don’t change it will not just change on its own. But I don’t know how to change it, because all she does is cry until she gets to nurse again. So how do I change it? Do I just stop completely and do something new? Or do I work into it slowly, so she doesn’t resist the change? Thank you.
Struggling with twins!!
Hello… I have 8 week old (tomorrow) identical twin boys. I have been trying since about 5 weeks to get them more “in sync” by waking one when the other wakes, etc. I tried a 3 hour schedule also based on the Babywise method which was incredibly hard since my babies have been fed on demand and probably more than they should have been since birth. I have lots of help but this can cause issues also since they love to rock them to sleep and feed them like crazy (as they should with newborns I feel). I am the one who is suffering at the end of the day though (and my husband) with one twin that might sleep for a 3 hour stretch or two in the evening and another that likes to get up every hour to hour and a half. I am at my wits end and feeling hopeless and helpless. I hear glory stories of twins on schedules that sleep through the night as early as 8 weeks but not sure that I could listen to them cry for extended periods of time. I want to start by soothing themselves to sleep but am at a loss and overwhlemed by all the different advice out there. Your emails always seem right up my alley…. any advice?? My oldest son slept with me until a year old when we had him Cry It Out and I would like to avoid that from happening again – especially with TWO!! Thank you SO much for your assistance.
I’ve got twins, 2.5yrs. One is fairly easy to get to sleep, and she stays sleeping (or puts herself back to sleep) all night long.
The other twin has always been a problem sleeper. Usually after she wakes of crying, she has a series of loud explosive farts, so I’m pretty sure she’s having gas pains. During the day, she doesn’t seem bothered by this and toots away merrily, but at night, she’s such a light sleeper that it does bother her. I’ve tried not feeding her for a couple hours before bed, tried limiting gas causing foods later in the day, but nothing seems to make a difference. She has a sluggish digestive system, and no matter how many prunes she eats, it still takes 18-24 hours to make it through to the other end. Her poo smells awful, like animal dung. Her sister doesn’t have this problem and poos like clockwork.
When the non-sleeping twin wakes up at night she screams to be in bed with me. I keep soothing her back to sleep in her own bed, but at some point she has had enough and won’t go down at all until she’s in bed with me.
Once she is in bed with me, however, she has no problem sleeping!
I’ve tried distancing myself from her with stuffed animals, but she squirms her way over them to snuggle against me. I just can’t sleep well when she’s in the bed with me.
Any ideas?
Hi, I read your blogs weekly and have learned a lot. My daughter is almost 8 months and I have her sleeping through the night with random wake ups, but inorder to get her to go to sleep I still have to nurse her until shes sleeping and then put her down. I have tried on several occasions to put her down awake and with out the nursing she will cry for about 10-30 minutes. We have a bedtime routine. I’m just very concerned for when the time comes that I stop nursing. Thank you for all your amazing info and insight. Brie
Hi Dana
My son Ahren is almost 6 months old and has already started first foods. he started cereal at 4 months and then I slowly introduced fruit and vegetables. my problem is he is a very good eater i.e. cereal, formula, breastmilk and first foods but he is not a good napper or sleeper through the night. he sleeps with me (so that I can get some sleep) as I work fulltime and have a 7yr old daughter who does not get so much attention right now. My son still wakes up 3 times a night. at this point I am not sure whether he is getting enough sleep. he seems happy and thriving. please help.
Hi Dana,
My question is… my son is 7 months now and has been sleeping beautifully through the night in his bouncy seat. (we put him in there after he had a cold and the doctor said to elevate his head)… he will fall asleep in his crib, but will wake up every 20 – 25minutes and be unable to get comfortable enough to put himself back to sleep. Any tips on transitioning from the bouncy to the crib? thanks so much! I visited your website yesterday (or tried to), glad to see it’s back up and running! thanks for all you do.
Thank you so much Dana for all your advice. I am still trying to get my 2.5 year old to fall asleep on her own. She does it at daycare everyday but still wants me to hold her at night. I know she misses me but I really need some help in getting her down by herself. Thank you. Dana
Chase will not sleep thru the night what can i do?
Hi Dana,
I’ve enjoyed watching and reading your blog for many months now! However, my son’s problems have not come up in their entirety in any of the messages as of yet. My son is almost about to celebrate his 1 year old birthday. He has NEVER been a good sleeper. The most we have gotten out of him was asleep for five hours and that may have been a total of 6 or 7 times in his life. He usually wakes from 3-6 times a night from 8:00pm-5:30. The biggest problem is that as soon as he awakes in the night- He stands up immediately and starts holding onto the crib rails and cries to a loud scream pretty soon after along with jumping up and down like he’s on a trampoline. We have gone in now to put him down, use the key words and then hand him a bottle with onlywater in it rather than milk to just get through the night. When we’ve tried the key words for bed time and then laid him down and patted him with no bottle, he will immediately get up right as we walk away and start jumping asnd screaming so much that he will either throw up because he is so upset or get diarrhea. He has had chronic bronchitis and acid reflux in his history of growing up, but is basically a 26 pound happy healthy boy besides those persistent issues. My husband and I both have hour -plus commutes and both work fulltime. We have tried many things from the “cry it out philosophy” to the stay in the room method, to the cuddling and rocking him to sleep. We have a mini bed routine diaper change, pajamas bath every two nights, bottle and then nebulizer (for bronchitis) then key words and lay into bed. Unfortunately NOTHING has worked and he is almost a year old. I know that the bottle filled with water is relying on something outside of himself and will not be a lasting survival method for us for too much longer. Please help us have a big and “well rested” celebration for his first birthday!
Thank you,
Joanna
ps I hope Im the 50th or the 100th- I need some kind of a gift for all this lack of sleep!! :)
I am aware that we have created some sleep problems for our daughter, Pacey. But right now the worst is after her first couple of hours of solid sleep she will wake up crying it seems like every fifteen minutes. She will cry for a few moments and then go back to sleep or after a minute will require her pacifier back or to be rolled over. She is 12 months old and is now sleeping in our bed. She used to sleep in her crib just fine but after continuous colds she ended up staying in our bed. What do I do about the constant waking and crying? Is it all related to her not being in her crib all night?
Hi Dana
My son who is 7.5 months old doesnt nap through the day by himself. The 1st nap he is sung to sleep in my arms and then I transfer him into his cot – he will sleep for approx 40 – 50 minutes. The lunchtime nap, he falls asleep on his bottle and I transfer him into his cot – he will sleep for about 1 hour to 1.5 hours and his last sleep I go for a walk. He then falls asleep for his bedtime on a bottle but will sleep for 11 hours. Should I be trying to get him to learn to fall asleep on his own or as I am achieving the right number of hours, thats ok. I have tried to put him into his cot awake, but he screams and screams and eventually makes himself sick (even with me going in and out soothing him every 5 minutes or so). I would be grateful for your advice. Thanks
Hi Dana,
MY son is now 25 months and has switched from crib to bed a month ago (his choice). Before i was able to plop him down in his crib at 7;30 and he would be ok for me to leave him alone, now in the bed (which is in a different room) – we have another one coming this summer! -he doesnt want me to leave, he wants me to lie down next to him so he can…RUB MY LIPS which is driving me crazy….if i get up he gets up and reaches his arms to find my lips! he has no other attachement to a blanket or stuffed animal even though we tried.
Now it takes me 45 minutes to put him down!
Any suggestions?
Hi Dana,
I have a six week old baby girl, she sleeps for about 10-11 hours through the night waking once or twice for a feed. The problem is i cant get her to sleep till about 2.00am and she wakes around 1.00pm the next day.
How can i start making bed time earlier?
Do i wake her earlier or try to put her to bed earlier?
Many thanks
Shabina
My little girl will not fall asleep on her own and unfortunately, only with me. Both my partner and various family members have tried but she just won’t go to sleep with them! Please help.
Stephanie
Hi, Joshua is now 14 months old and has fortunately always been a relatively good sleeper. Just recently he keeps waking in the night crying and when I go in to check, he is sitting upright. As soon as I lay him down, he falls back asleep.
My son is 11 weeks old. I’m feeding him every 3 hours.
Considering his waking him up at 7am and his bed time is at 7pm, what should be his day time sleep routine?
My daughter Bayleigh is 19 months old now. I have recently stopped pumping but I still nurse at night has started waking up about 2 to 3 am and the only way she will go back to sleep is by nursing her. When she is done, she will roll over and go back to sleep so she isn’t using that to put her to sleep. Any ideas how I can stop this? Thank you
Hi Dana,
My son is now 7 months and up until he was 12 weeks he used to sleep wonderfully. He used to nap on his own in his cot during the day, and would happily put himself to sleep at night (if he wasn’t tired he was more than happy to chat away to himself until he was!!). However, he hit 12 weeks and suddenly his night sleeping became awful!! He was waking every couple of hours, if not more often, and was hard to settle.
It’s got better but we’ve only ever had about 2 nights of him sleeping through. When he cries at night, he’s usually got his eye shut and on occassions you can’t settle him. He’ll wake himself up and will cry uncontrollabley for awhile. Is it night terrors he’s having or real nightmares? What can i do to help him? Poor thing’s so tired all the time.
Logan can’t seem to stick to any routine he can last 2-3 days where he can sleep quite well then he starts having restless sleep then waking frequently from around midnight onwards even though we stick to his usual routine religiously and not give in but he winds himself up that much he cannot settle back to sleep!! Any tips or advice would be much appreciated thankyou.
Hi, my son Eoghan is 14 months and I am due another baby in March. I need to nip Eoghan’s lack of sleep at night in the bud before the new baby come along. At the moment he won’t stay in his cot he want to have contact with us so that means he sleeps with us in our bed. I always put him down in his cot with a bottle but once I leave the room he starts crying and does not stop until I pick him up. We have now moved the cot into our room and he has started to sleep in it for a couple of hours but once he wakes there is no chance of him going to sleep in it again for the night as he wants to be with us in our bed. He also goes through 3 to 4 bottles a night. My husband can’t stand the crying so it hard for me to let him cry himself back to sleep so that is why I have given him the bottle. I know we have done wrong in all this. How do I get Eoghan to stay in his cot and sleep all night without contenly giving him bottles. Also need some advise on to to deal with new babies sleep when it arrives so that I don’t have two babies in the bed with us. Thanks for your help, Maria
Hi dana..
my son is about one and half month..when is the right time for me to use your program as im worried that he is to young to sleep through the night..right now he wake up around two to three times every night and want me to feed him..after that he will go to sleep again..
My daughter Esther is 18 months old and has never slept for more than 4 hours at a time. She cannot go to sleep without being cuddled or by holding her hand. We have tried, when she wakes in the night to put her back in her cot but she clings very tightly and I have to pull her off me to put her down but then she stands up and screams. I have tried to lie her down but she fights and just stands up again. This goes on every night sometimes for as long as three hours, then she may sleep for a while then it all starts again. We may get a few hours sleep if we take her into our bed. Please help!
Hi ,how would I go about stopping the night time feed as I am breastfeeding my 7 month old?
she is asleep at 7.30pm and wakes twice at 10pm and 3 am for a feed
My 10 month old daughter has never slept through the night. She has gone from average of 11 wakenings down to 2/3. I manage to settle her back without breastfeeding her the first time she wakes, but by the second or third wakening she is so angry and just screams and screams until I feed her. Her stamina is amazing, I went back into her every 10/15 mins for 3 hours once. I dont know what else to do, she is waking my toddler and my husband has taken to the sofa! Help.
Is there a way to have my baby no longer require a soother after it falls out of her mouth? She falls asleep well but awakens when she falls into deep sleep and loses the grip on it..thanks!
My daughter laura is 5 and has a similar problem to that mentioned by the other ‘Kim’. She falls asleep ok at bedtime but wakes several times during the night and is really scared. I can’t get her back to sleep without cuddling her and reasuring her. THis will hten happen every few hours. Quite often in the mornign she has no memory of it. any suggestions?
My 16 month old has been sleeping through from being very young recently waking 2 and 3 times in the night – not hungry not wet/soiled. Any help greatly appreciated. Also waking at 4am to get up for the day!!
My 17 month old daughter screams and cries when my partner and I leave the lounge room. It’s like she screams as if someone is in the room with her tormeting her, although it’s only the 3 of us in the house. It’s like she is having a seperation attack or something. How can we get around this?
My daughter Mia is 11 months old she is still not sleeping through the night?? Normally it used to be once a night now it’s 2-3 times and i am finding it hard to deal with. She has 2 sleeps a day between 1-1.5 hours each eats well breakfast lunch and dinner. I am still breast feeding her 3 times a day. Normally when it’s bed time i put her in the cot and she falls asleep no problems but about 1-2 hours after she is up and it goes on all night. What can i do?
HELP WITH TWINS PLEASE!!
I really need some help with 28mth old twin girls who sleep in the same room. They are still in their cribs. For the past few months, they have started playing up at bed time, not wanting to go to sleep. And when in bed (after our routine) they talk and carry on until near 11pm. Then one will finally crash and then the other calls out, gets upset etc etc until Dad goes in and calms her down then she will relax, lie down and go to sleep. HELP. (and this is just one of our many sleep problems!!)
As i am now pregnant with my second child, my first son ‘Aaron who’s 17 months still sleeps in my bed’ and wakes for a b/feed nearly 2/3 times a night!! How can i make the transition to get him to sleep in his own room and get him to sleep all night without a feed?? Also I’ve tried to give him bottle milk which he’ll drink but then he’ll want breast milk to sooth him back to sleep!!
My 8 month old daughter will settle herself at bed time and nap times with no props, usually within 10 mins max but still wakes many times during the night and will cry for up to an hour. She is also incredabaly clingy and wingy throughout the the day.
Sebastian is 8 months. He used to only fall asleep on me, being nursed to sleep, or rocked to sleep, or just carried around until he fell asleep on me. He then slept in his cot, woke for two feeds a night and went back to sleep by himself (no rocking or carrying, just straight back into his cot). Recently, because of a flu I suppose, Sebastian started to refuse sleeping in his cot, he will only sleep in my bed. He sleeps fine next to me, wakes for two feeds and goes straight back to sleep.
Obviously, because of safety reasons, I want him to sleep in his own bed again. He is rolling, albeit not in his sleep, and I do not want him to hall out of bed when he wakes up. What can I do?
My 15 month old still sleeps in my bed. I would be okay with that, but he fights to go to sleep at all. Naps usually aren’t a problem, but bed time is. Why would that be?
MY SON IS 6 MONTHS OLD AND WE STARTED WEANING IN DECEMBER. HE IS GETTING ON FINE WITH THE FOOD AND IS EATING 3 MEALS A DAY. THE PROBLEM I HAVE IS WORKING OUT HIS ROUTINE FOR FOOD & SLEEP. I OFTEN FIND AT ONE OF THE MEAL TIMES I HAVE A VERY TIRED BABY. DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR ME? SHOULD I MAKE THE MEAL TIMES AT A SET TIME AND NAP TIMES AT A SET TIME? JAMES GOES TO BED REALLY WELL AT NIGHT BUT STILL WAKES UP AT 2AM FOR NO REASON. I DO NOT FEED HIM JUST SETTLE HIM BACK DOWN.
My daughter Arwen is the type of child that worries about everything! She is easily frightened as well. She is always frightened at bed time. She has a night light and a bed time routine where I check on her every 10 minutes till she flls asleep but she lays in bed crying quietly to her self many nights because she is so afraid. What can I do?
Hi Kim, I was afraid of the dark and sleeping on my own til I was 15. now I have kids of my own I came to the realisation that what I watched had a bearing on what I dreamed about. so wth my own kids, they dont watch or read anything scarey.
keep communication lines open because when they watch something scary at school they come home and tell me straight away and I have been to the school to explain the situation and they are very understanding, scince doing that they don’t lie in bed crying any more. I dont close the door to their bedroom when they sleep..
I have a 3 months old son. He hasn’t fallen assleep alone. Rocking, sitting next to his cot bed, patting makes him sleep. Because until 6 months he is developing his trust to us, i don’t really want to cry out. On the otrher hand he has to learn to fall assleep alone.
What’s the best way to teach him? When should I start to do this?
Because he doesn’t know how to fall assleep, he can’t have long day naps. It’s usually 45-60 mins for each nap.
Thanks
Does teething disrupt babies from sleeping through?
Hi Dana,
My son James has nights where he will wake up between 1-6 times a night and just needs tucking back up and given his snuggly “bunny” back coz he has lost it under his covers and seetles off abck to sleep, then other nights will sleep all night without waking up. He is also clingy and won’t go to other people without crying even if I am in the room. I was thinking about starting him in a daycare to see if that helps, what do you think? :-) I am in desperate need of some help!! :-) look forward to your repky.. Kylie, New Plymouth, New Zealand
Gosh… sorry about all the spelling mistakes :-)
my son is nearly 10 months old and still is waking throughout the night. he doesn’t seem to be waking because his hungry but because he wants you to put his dummy back in! he still stays in my bedroom as i live in a flat and we get quite a bit of noise from upstairs walking about which always seems to wake him when he’s in his own bedroom. he also wont sleep in his own cot and if i place him in there whilst he’s asleep he will wake and cry hysterically. please help
Ruby wakes many times throughout the night, I have been explaining it away as teething for quite some time now. She stands at the foot of the cot calling mummy, sometimes crys and some times screams! We just go in settle her quickly and quietly and if she is not fussing simply lay her back down and leave the room. We would love her to go back to sleeping through the night but unfortunatly this is a VERY distant memory!
My Son is just about to turn one year and he has yet to sleep thru the night. He wakes up several times and wants to come into my bed it’s exhausting! His daddy is away in Iraq and i have to deal with it on my own for the next 10 months how can get him to sleep thru the night so we can all be less grouchy and have more energy?
My son is 12 months old and still isn’t sleeping through the night yet. He eats breakfast lunch and dinner but still wakes up every 4-5 hours for milk. He also finds it hard to settle back in his cot and ends up in my bed. How can I get him to stay in his cot and encourage him to sleep through the night?
my daughter is 19 months old and goes to bed about 7.15pm each night we lay her in her bed and have to sit in her room until she falls a sleep , she will then woke after about 5 hours and will not go back into her bed and sleeps in my bed for yhe rest of the night after having a bottle. please help
My 13 month old son starts every day by waking up screaming and I would love to know how to stop it! He sleeps well during the night now however he
seems to wake with such a start everyday, whereas when he was younger he would wake cooing or occasionally just shout out to let me know he was awake. He is going through seperation anxiety at the moment and can be clingy during the day. I often go into him as soon as he starts screaming in the morning as I don’t want him to get too distressed. Help! Thanks
my baby is 9 months old and i am still struggling to get him to sleep through the night. I’ve tired so many different things. I got him a night light, I give him a comfort blankie and he has a dummy, but he still wakes up more than 4 times a night! I try to let him ly and cry it out for a few minutes but he has never falled back to sleep by himself during the night. Im really at the end of my rope! how do i get him to go back to sleep without Me!!!
Our 7 week old daughter is able to sleep from 12am to 5am but still wakes up at 5am for a feed. (swaddling has been a godsend!) When can I expect her to sleep for a longer period and how can I facilitate this? I.e. A friend of mine had her 8week old infant sleeping for 12 hours (6pm-6am)!
William is 8 months old and is an early waker. Was between 5 and 6, but has recently been waking as early as 3.45. We have been leaving him in his cot until 6 to try and get him used to getting up at this time and this was working for a bit but has now started going backwards. Any suggestions would be very gratefully received.
Hello. I have an 11 month old daughter. I have tried since she was 4 months to increase the length of her naps from “catnaps” but unfortunately, apart from a few “one offs”, Daisy has never done this consistently. Could it be that I just have a baby who doesn’t need as much sleep? Even when she self settles she has two half hour naps a day and even though she is still waking frequently at night, this is starting to improve.
She wakes full of beans but does get tired again after about 1.5 hours which seems a short amount of time at her age which is why I keep trying!
Thank you
My 9 month old fights his sleep for naps and bed time. By the time I finally get him to sleep I am exhusted! He is so tired but won’t shut down. It last about an hour to an hour and a half at night and about 30 to 45 min before he gives up for his naps. I put him to sleep at night by giving him a bottle and holding him. If I put him down before he is asleep he just gets up and stands up. Of course he is still in our bed and won’t sleep in the pack in play or his crib for naps or night time. I promise he wakes as soon as I lay him down in the crib and then it is another struggle or his nap is over. So at night time I just put him in our bed. I need help to get him to sleep. Don’t know what else to do!!
Hi,
My 2yr old was a great sleeper until recently. He now doesn’t like being put into bed and will come out numerous times before he falls asleep. Once asleep he will stay in his room for 2-3 hours and then wake again and wants to sleep on the lounge we have tried for hours on end to put him back into his own bed straight away but he just keeps coming out screaming. Nothing different has been done and it’s getting a bit frustrating as we have started to just let him get into our bed as we both work and need sleep, I know this isn’t helping but have tried so hard to get him back in and he just won’t stay there…..
Please help
Mandy
Where do I start. We have just moved to Australia from France and my baby (9 mths) has no routine at all and won’t sleep in his cot, only by feeding usually.
Today I put my baby down (awake) to sleep for her regular morning nap. She started crying 20 min. later and would not settle. I went in to her, and she had pooped, after a change, would not go back to sleep. What should I have done, also, how do I get her to take longer naps? This is a common occurence with her, I am hoping for a 2 hour nap twice a day, and she goes 45 min. each time quite frequently. Am I expecting too much sleep? She also wants to begin the day at 5:00 or 5:30. Any ideas on how to solve our sleep problems?
Do you have suggestions for a toddler who wakes up frequently in the night and is scared?
We have a nightlight but that doesn’t seem to help.
How do I continue to put Hugh to sleep on his own when he gets sick or is teething, as that he wants to be held or nurse for comfort?
my son is an awesome baby! He’s always happy and has 2 naps a day for about 1.5 each time. He has no problem napping in his crib and generally requires no soothing but at night he will only stay asleep for 45 mins-1.5 hours and then will cry and cry and cry… nothing helps except finally takinghim to bed with me where he sleeps perfectly all night! Help! He’s 7 months and I’m going crazy with exhaustion!!!
Hello, i have a 15 month old son named Brayden. He has always woke up 3 or more times a night. Then i give him his bottle and he goes back to sleep. So TWO questions, 1. How do i get him to sleep through the night and with no bottles in the middle of the night? 2. How do i ween him off the bottle and onto sippy cups? Thank you! your awesome!
My son Jonah is 16 months old and just started sleeping through the night at 13 months of age. Unfortunately, for the last 3 weeks he started waking up in the middle of the night crying while standing at the end of his crib. I just don’t know how to get him to sleep through the night again. He really wants a bottle when he wakes up and finishes 7 oz of milk, which according to his pediatrician he does not need. How can I get him to sleep through the night again without making him cry it out?
Hi, my son Logan is just over 3 months old and has not had a night bottle for about 4 weeks. He generally goes to sleep around 930pm and wakes without fail at 230am then each hour after that until he is wide awake at 730am for a bottle. I’m wondering if he is waking due to being hungry so last night I gave him half a bottle which he drank however didn’t seem to change him waking every hour after that.
Should I reintroduce a full bottle when he wakes at 230am ???
My daughter is now 1 year and she is finally sleeping through (from 11 months). She goes to bed quite easily on her own and sleep through 90% of the time, and if she wakes, I just lay her down and she continues sleeping. I would just like to know to get her to sleep later in the mornings. She gets up between 04:30 and 05:30 no matter what time she goes to bed. We’ve tried putting her to bed anywhere between 07:00 and 09:30, most nights she goes to bed between 07:30 and 08:15, but she still gets up early in the mornings.
My four month old still wakes up every three hours at night for a feed. Sometimes she will only sleep for one hour before waking again. She’s never been a good sleeper, but recently has started also crying from 1 am till 3am. How do I get her to sleep better by herself and self settle?
My son is 7 months old next week, is primarily breastfed & still hasn’t slep through the night. He has always woken up every 1.5-2hrs, except for the odd times when he sporatically goes 3-5hrs. I have been feeding him solid foods for 2 months already (usually as close to bed time as possible). And at times when he seems unusually fussy or hungry at bedtime, I will give him a formula bottle- but neither of these “fill up” methods help him sleep any longer. He seems fixed on waking up to breastfeed throughout the night at his normal 2hr intervals. It’s exhausting.
I did try my own method of sleeping on the floor in his room for a couple weeks, so I could put him back to sleep on the 2hr intervals & try to stretch his feedings to every 4hrs during the night. This seemed to work for a bit (mostly during the times I was sleeping in the room with him), however when I started to sleep back in my own room again…he just started waking up more frequenty as usual.
Now my son can roll onto his stomach in his crib & scoot over to the edges, so it doesnt work for me to sleep in his room to train him any longer, as he can see me & watch me sleeping on the floor in his room & will just continue to cry for me to feed him because he knows I am there.
I have always tried to put Raymon to bed when he is awake or somewhat awake- trying to rouse him if he has fallen asleep on the breast. I am not %100 consistent with not allowing him to fall asleep on the breast, however I don’t kno if this issue alone is the reasonng he wakes every 2hrs in the night to feed.
I feel like I have tried a couple different methods to try & get him to sleep during the night longer, but nothing seems to be working?
Some people say feed him more during the day so he learns that “daytime is for eating & night time is for sleeping”. Which Raymon generally does- he eats frequently through the day like a grazer/snacker- he’s not a big guzzler. But then I’ve heard contradictory statements that if the baby is eating so often/frequenty during the day, then he is going to want/expect the same all through the night. ??????
There’s so much confusing & conflicting information floating around out there, that I just don’t know what method to try for my son & whether it’s working or not.
Is it possible that a baby can be resistant to training or “just not ready to sleep through the night”. Or is it possble that I am not effectively training my baby?
My son is 11 months old and getting him to sleep on his own without nursing him is very hard. He stands in his cot and just cries and screams. I want to wean him off breast feeding but it seems almost impossible!
Hello,
my 7 month old baby falls asleep independently (i put her in her cot awake), then i feed her when she first wakes at around 10, and then not again until after 4.30am (she then sleeps until about 7 or 7.30). however, she usually wakes between 2 and 3am, and often takes 2 hours to resettle, or i feed her once it reaches 4.30am. we have been going in this pattern for a month, and the settling time does not seem to be reducing. do you have any suggestions?
thankyou,
Helen
My daughter cannot fall asleep alone i tried the method same ritual every night (feed, bath, short story, quiet environment and night time) , but still the same since one month, she also get reflux and she burp a lot, she will be 6 months next week, and sometimes she cries for long, so i would like to know what can i do differently for her to fall asleep by herself, and sometimes she gets stuck burps, and she cries how can i know she needs to burp or sleep, how can i see the difference, i make her burp a lot after feeds.
my 23 month old daughter is in a big bed has been for 3 months and just about evert night comes into our room hoping to sleep with us. She`s usually pretty good i can put her back and she stays there, other nights she might come in 3 or 4 times before she realises she`s not going to stay in our bed and then other nights she just screams and i get to the point where i`m that exhausted from fighting with her i give in and let her sleep with but the next night she`ll sleep through. She has a drink of milk and we read books before bed and she has no trouble going to sleep at bed time just this coming in through the night. its usually about 1am
My 2 year old has night terrors. She wakes anywhere from 3 to 7 times a night screaming. She does not know us at all and we have to jostle her awake her to get her to calm down. i am pregnant with my 4th child and my husband works 2 jobs. None of us are getting the rest we need; therfore there is alot of crankiness at our house. Can your program help with this as well? We are getting desperate.
My 19month old has always fallen asleep with a bottle and held. We got her off the bottle about 9 months ago and have been placing her awake in the crib. Lately she has been kicking, tossing, standing up, throwing things out of the crib, etc and this goes on for a good 45 mins. She eventually falls asleep, but is waking up in the night AGAIN! I try to let her cry it out, but she doesn’t stop. Eventually we give up and hold her and she will sleep. Same with naps, she only takes a 1 1/2 half nap, however wakes up screaming and sometimes will sleep another 1 1/2 while being held. I know I shouldn’t hold her, but in the middle of the night, I need to get sleep for work the next day. Please help.
My daughter is 11 months old and still isn’t sleeping through the night. She goes to bed between 6.30pm and 7.30pm everynight, she wakes between 9.30pm and 11.30pm for her nightly feed which I don’t have a problem with however then she is awake again at 12.30am then at 2.30am then at 5am she isn’t getting enough sleep and neither am I. It is extremely frustrating now as the feeds from 12.30am to 5am are comfort feeds. (she is breastfed). I have tried to just hold her back to sleep but she carries on until she is fed so obviously I give in so that I don’t wake the other kids and hubby. HELP!!!
My 3 month old baby sleeps about 12 hours through the night (7:30 pm-7 or 7:30 am) and she does put herself to sleep. Then she’ll take a 1 hour nap from 9-10. However, during the day she always wakes up after about 30 min and does not go back to sleep even though she still looks tired. I tried to let her in the crib hoping that eventually she’ll go back tos leep but she never does and if I don’t pick her up she’ll move and move and after about 10-15 minutes she will start crying. So because of that after about 30minutes after she wakes up after taking these short naps she becomes fussy and “clingy”. Every once in a while she would take a 2-3 hour nap during the day and then she’s fine, but it happends very rarely. Why doesn’t she go back to sleep after the first sleep cycle since she already knows to put herself to sleep and what can I do to help her sleep longer during naptime?
my 15 month old is used to sleeping in our bed and mostly in my arms at night.he wakes up sometimes after 30 min or 1 hour and he wants me to put him in my arms.his crib is right next to my bed. His morning naps are good but he sleeps in my arms and then i lay him down in his crib and he sleeps 1-2 hours.but at night he wakes up several times crying and wants me to hug him.Its been going on for few months.my husband doesnt want him to cry so everytime he cries for me my husband brings him to the bed.last night i removed the one bar from his crib and joined his crib to my side of bed so he feels i am close to him and tonight i layed down beside him but i didnt pt him in my arms althoughe he cried and slept close to me.i was there till he fell asleep,but i know he will wake up again looking for me.I want to know how and what should i do so he sleeps all night.
I worked a late night job and my daughter got used to my sleep scheduale and now that I have an early mornin job wat can I do to change her sleep patters
I have a 14 month old who still sleeps on our bed, we want him in his crib but the last time we tried he vomitted twice. I also don’t have the heart to listen to him scream because I don’t think it will take just a few days, I think it will take longer. What how how do we transition him to his crib?
I have two boys who share a bedroom. They are 2 years old and almost four. My husband and I have to lay in their room until they fall asleep for naps and at bedtime. If we don’t. They will get up and jump on their beds, take the clothes out of their drawers, or just play in their bedroom. They also both come into our bed during the night and if we take them back they keep returning. They were so easy to put to bed as babies. We only needed to put them in their crib, turn off the light and leave the room but when they began sleeping in beds this is what started happening.
Tell me more about teaching a 22 month old to self-soothe. IF using the stand-room method, how long should the process take? Do each time they wake up until they fall back to sleep?
Barret is 7 months old and he has gone from waking up two times a night to waking three or four times a night. He sleeps well during the day with two long naps.
I have got into the habbit of nursing him every time he wakes up and although he is usually partly awake when I put him in his crib he seems to be relying on my nursing him to get back to sleep.
I’m not sure what to do. When is a good age to expect him to go through the night without nursing and how do I know if he’s hungry or just wants to nurse for comfort? He seems to want to eat every time I hold him.
Carly sleep 9 to 11 hours at night . Has a
bottle in the morning then naps for about 2-4 hours. The rest of the day she naps anywhere from
10 mins to 3 hours . But I am not sure how to get her to take better naps for me r the sitter. Thanks Casey and Carly
I’m not understanding your problem. She sleeps 9-11 hours at night and takes saveral naps up to 3 hours during the day. I should have ever been so lucky!!!
Carly sleep 9 to 11 hours at night . Has a
bottle in the morning then naps for about 2-4 hours. The rest of the day she naps anywhere from
10 mins to 3 hours . But I am not sure how to get her to take better naps for me r the sitter. Thanks Casey and Carly
Reese is 3 and still sleeps with a parent. We tried to get her into her bed several times, but she is a very very stroong willed child and just wouldn’t quit crying and this went on all night long. Help!
Hi,
We have 33 month old twins who sleep in the same room. Traditionally, our son was the one who would wake up 1-4 times per night crying for Mommy or Daddy and his sister would sleep through the night (despite the yelling). Now the roles have completely reversed. When either wakes up crying for Mommy or Daddy, we wait to see if she/he will go back to sleep or if the situation will just continue to escalate. When we go to either, she/he wants to sit in a chair and cuddle vs. going back to sleep in bed. What method would you suggest we use to help them get back to sleep, or at least help them feel comfortable being awake and soothing themselves back to sleep vs. calling out and crying for Mommy and Daddy?
My 11 month old son has been waking up every hour for the last few days needing me to put his pacifier back in his mouth. This has never been a problem before. What do I do?
Our 11 months old daughter used to sleep trough the night from 7pm to 7am. We still have the same routine bath, milk and bed. She goes to sleep on her own. Our problem is that since teething she wake up 2-3 times every night. She stands in her cot and does not want to go back to sleep on her own so we have to go and put her down. What shell we do? Thanks
My 2 year old Tucker just does not want to go to sleep at night. Every time I get a routine to work, it only lasts two or three days. Every time daddy comes home off the road we have to start all over again. Please help!!
My son Jack is 14 months old. He has never been a good daytime napper. He does however sleep and go to bed on his own pretty well at night. I’ve been struggling with naps since he was 4 months old. After many attempts of stand in the room method, rocking, nursing, sitting in the room and letting him cry it out. I tried having him lie down in my bed with me. It takes him a while to settle down but it works. He is a very tactile baby. It helps him tremendously to hold hands, touch or rub to fall asleep. I’ve tried having him fall in love with a lovely and it hasen’t worked. He is still nursing. 3 times a day. Once in the am when he first wakes up ( this is in bed with me) then we fall back to sleep. The next is after his first nap. And then again before bed. This feeding he nurses until he is almost asleep then I put him in his crib and he goes to sleep, usually with no protest. at most he will cry for a few minutes and then fall asleep. He can obviously fall asleep on his own and soothe himself at night when he wakes up at night, why are the naps so different? Do you think this may correct itself when he is done nursing? We are weaning now. He ha started walking over the past few weeks I know that can disrupt sleep, which he has been waking up more at night and I do have to go in. I lie down on the floor next to his crib until he falls asleep. Before the walking most nights he puts himself back to sleep. I’d love for him to be able to take naps in his crib, help!
My daughter is 5 months old and gets her last bottle at 9:00 and is usually sleeping by 9:45. Is this normal time for last feeding or would you suggest a earlier time? If earlier, when and why?
Our almost 4 month old boy, Alexander, has “always” slept in a bassinet with the hood closed and he still loves to be swaddled. He sleeps 8 or 9 hours every night. The problem is that he is rapidly outgrowing his bassinet and we need to transition him to his crib. We have been trying to get him to take daytime naps in the crib, but so far, with no success. We have moved his bassinet into his room and that has gone just fine. Now we have moved the bassinet into his crib (it is the type that removes from the base) and that has gone fine as long as we keep the hood down. If he can see out of the bassinet he will not fall asleep on his own and if we put him down asleep, when he wakes up he will not go back to sleep.
Any suggestions as to how to get him to sleep in his crib?
alexander has always slept in his bassinet with the hood closed and he still loves to be swaddled. Our problem is that he is rapidly outgrowing the bassinet and now how do we transition him to the crib. He sleeps 8-9 hours every night now but will not fall asleep in his crib for a nap in the daytime.
Hi
Will he sleep in his bed at night. Try that first
my baby sleeps better at night also. So I just started her out in her bed at night first. It seems to work well. But she only cat naps in the day. Un less I am holding her. Ofcouse
Good luck Casey
I had the same issue around the same age, Nate my now 9 month old was used to an enclosed playpen in our room. I ended up putting in the bumper pads on the crib so Nate couldn’t see out. From what I remember he transistioned to that pretty well.
My son is 13 months old and has never been a good sleeper. He’s very stubborn and has always one the fight. We’re having a hard time going in there every time he wakes up to get him back to sleep in his crib. How long does it take when you’re not rocking them to get them to stay asleep in their crib longer? We’re so sleep deprived that we always end up bringing him to our bed from exhaustion after him waking up every 2 hours. I just want my warm bed and sleep myself. Also any suggestions on what a good routine would be for a one year old? Thanks! Jen mom to Kody
Hi – My Daughter is nearly one year old. At the moment she is having 4 bottles a day. I am wondering when i should cut this amount down and by how much. she also has 3 solid meals a day but i like giving her bottles because i then know she is getting enough fluid in this hot weather and am affraid if i dont she wont get enough. She has a sippy cup but doesnt drink much from it – she turns it into a game and starts spitting it out. Help would be appreciated
My daughter is five months old waking up several times a night wanting her pacifier. My question is….should I continue getting up and getting it for her ? What do you suggest that I start doing for this? She never stays awake for a long period of time. As soon as I put it back In her mouth she is back sleeping.
My beautiful daughter Lola is five and a half months old and does exactly the same thing. Wakes during the night for her dummy. I usually let her go for 15 minutes or so before I go in and give her the dummy as I want her to at least try and self settle….. but the sooking usually builds to crying and I know she’s not going to go back to sleep without it…. I’m not quite sure what to do about this. How to get her to self settle every time she wakes???? Also, she’s a bit of a night owl, and doesn’t go to bed for the night until at the earliest 9.30pm, regardless of what time I get her up in the morning….. not quite sure how to go about getting her into bed earlier at night either????
My 5 1/2 month old is a really restless sleeper. I am still swaddling her to be able to “calm” her down for a night’s sleep. She usually sleeps 8 hours then is awake enough to get out of the swaddle. When should I stop this? We have tried unsuccessfully a few weeks ago.
My baby is 11 months old, and goes to sleep around 7 pm and wakes up at around 7 am, tanks to your guidelines. However when he knows I am going to put him in his crib, he shows quite a lot of anxiety and starts crying, he doesn’t seems happy to go to bed. He usually settles in 5 minutes at night, but when he naps, he takes a little bit longer to calm down and sleep. Is it possible to put my baby relaxed and happy to sleep?
I have 2 precious little boys – Jackson, 7 months and Colden, 3 years. Colden has always been a good sleeper, but Jackson is not! And since Jackson wakes up crying several times a night, Colden has started waking up too. So I find myself rushing in to soothe Jackson (which usually means picking him up) so that his crying doesn’t wake his brother… I feel like it’s a vicious cycle – what can I do?
Matilda is 26 months old and she falls asleep on her on (with us in the room) after her night routine of bath, change, pjs and stories. The problem is that she has so many night terrors wake-ups where she cries and talk and does not even recognize me for the first few minutes. This happens at least three times, every night. What should I do?
Hello
My son Makhi is 12weeks old and has had quite a few nights that he has slept all the way through. Now that he has achieved that should I be feeding him on the nights that he wakes up.
Also he doesn’t seem to nap very much, at his age how many naps should he have and for how long.
Thanks for listening
Michell
I am a teen parent. I live at home with my mom and take care of my daughter. She is 14 mos. old. A few weeks ago I had to go to the hospital in the night and didn’t get home until 3:30 AM. Ever since then Samantha hasn’t gone to sleep before 3:30 AM. Because I’m so tired, I sleep in with her until early afternoon. If we start the program, how do we start getting turned around to a daytime schedule. What time would I start putting her to bed the first night?
christopher is 4 months and i would like to know when i should begin to see a change in his sleep patterns right now it is every four or five hours but with y daughter i let it go on for too long….help me! i need sleep…
Hi,
My son Brandon is 8 months old and refuses to sleep in his crib. He will sleep in his swing chair, on the sofa, in our bed (which we seldom let him do) and of course in our arms. We have tried putting him down when he’s drowsy, putting him down when he’s awake, trying not to rock him, etc. I know that our current daycare provider (his great-grandmother) does not keep him on a strict schedule and she allows him to sleep on the sofa for naps, and I’m sure that is causing a lot of our issues. She refuses to follow our instructions/directions, so all I can do is focus on his routine from 5 – 8 pm. He will be going to child development in March. I am worried that he will not transition well at daycare, since he will have to sleep in a crib there and would like to do anything I can do to make the transition smoother. How can we get him to sleep in his crib at night and in his pack n play during the day? Also, how can we get him to sleep through the night. Right now, he wakes up at least one to two times at night.
My 27 month old(a twin) and once a great sleeper, has recently had difficulty going to sleep, staying asleep and going down for a nap. Since Christmas, he has been experiencing night terrors and night wake-ups. He seems extremely sleep deprived and as a result has developed some sensory issues, including raking his face, tongue and biting his hand. As of late, the only way to get him to go to sleep is to stay in the room until he falls asleep which could take up to 40 minutes(he used to fall asleep in 5) During the day he is so cranky and says he is tired, but once he we put him down for a nap he flips out in his crib for close to 30 minutes. We have begun to change his diet and routine but desperately need to know what else we could and should be doing to get him back on track? We are all so sleep deprived, including his twin and need to figure this out very quickly as I am expecting my third child in four weeks. Help!!!
So, is this where I leave the comment to win the sleepsense program??? I’ve been wanting to get it for weeks but have read everything I can because of finances. Hope I win!!
My son is now able to put himself to sleep (11 months) but has night awakenings…..sometimes for 2 hours. I can only listen to the crying for so long. Help.
Hi I have a daughter Mikayla 10 months old and likes to wake up at 3.00 or 4.00 in the morning eyes wide open takes about hour or more to go back to sleep she does wake up through the night 2 3 times i feel she is a very restless sleeper or could it be teething?
How do I successfully transition my 1 year old from the family bed to her crib? She starts out in her crib well but always ends up in the bed around midnight when she awakens and cannot soothe herself back to sleep.
My little David has a 7pm bedtime. He always wakes up around four for a bottle. Is this normal for a sevenmonth old? If not how do I get him to sleep longer? I heard babies his age can sleep up to 12 hours straight. Any suggestions?
Hello
Sometimes my kids have gotten up in the middle of the night for me if it’s before 6 am they do not get a bottle. You are the mom you know if they are just fussy or hungry. For me if they are just fussy they have to wait. Otherwise it just a habit. Good luck Casey
My 7 month old did the same, woke around 4 for a feeding from 6 months until about a week ago and he is now 9 months old. I figured one feeding at 4 wasn’t too bad and was willing to do it, myself. For the past week he’s been sleeping until 8am, so about 13 hours sleep!
My daughter is 3 months old now, I’m breastfeeding and I’m thinking about dropping out the 2am feed. How can i tell if she is ready to go through until her next feed at 6am? Because every time i’ve tried this week, she just cries and wants to be fed. Any advice would be great.
We seem to be fighting with Riley every night to go to bed nothing seems to work. The last few nights he is still racing around the house at 10:30. We have stopped him from watching tv too close to bed time and try and get him to read a book or just have quite time. He always has an excuse to come out of the bedroom. If we ignore him he goes and plays with something that he can find. He is so tired that he has fallen asleep on his bike while been pushed. We just don’t know what to do anymore.
My daughter, Emma, just turned 4 months old today. She is what I would call a “high-needs” baby. She sounds a lot like the little boy, Rylen, you answered a question about previously. My question is related to breaking the eat-sleep association and still getting her to settle. She seems to have no ability to self-soothe. None. She will scream for hours if I do not feed her to put her back to sleep. I know I should probably not be doing this, but it seems to be the only thing that works at this point! We have the night time routine and even with prodding to stay awake, she still falls asleep at the breast. I was using the EASY method (Eat-Activity-Sleep-You time) for a while, but she was not sleeping well then either, due to her inability to soothe herself. She would cry for hours.
In your reply to Rylen’s mom, you mentioned something that sounded like fading yourself from the room…does that mean that I would sit in the room with her until she fell asleep (possibly hours?) Just sit in a chair and wait it out? How far/close to the crib are you supposed to be? Do you say anything or just remain quiet? Do you ever console/comfort or just sit? Sounds like a very hard thing to do, especially when you have other children in the house whose sleep you do not want to compromise…but if it works, I suppose it is worth it.
My 15wk old son, J.P., learned how to fall asleep on his own 3wks ago. Every night we go through our routine with taking his braces off (he has clubbed feet), a bath, feeding, put his braces back on, and then story time. After the book I lay him in his crib and soothe him for 5min or less and he goes to sleep. He wakes again between 0100-0330, feeds, and then wakes for the day anywhere between 0660-0730. I started this early mainly because I work night shift and I really don’t want my husband to have to struggle while I am at work. I have been pretty impressed with how well J.P. has taken to his routine and falling asleep considering his medical issues. Our problem now is that he will only take 30-45min naps. I realize that he is waking instead of falling into a deep sleep. Every few days he will take a good 2-3hr nap. The long naps usually happen on the days that we are out and about for medical appt’s or running errands. Activities that provide a lot of stimulation. We also have a routine at nap time. As soon as I see him start to yawn we go sit in the nursery chair and read a book. When he starts to lose interest I lay him in the crib. I usually don’t have to soothe him at all for naps. He goes right to sleep. He is sleeping so well at night that I really can’t complain, but he is still tired and cranky after his naps because he hasn’t slept long enough. I have tried running in and soothing him into the deep sleep or slipping his pacifier back in his mouth as soon as I hear him start to stir, but it only wakes him and makes him mad. I also try to get him to engage in stimulating activities between naps. Is there anything else I can do to help him take longer naps?
Thank you,
Laura
My 3 month old daughter is able to put herself to sleep when put down in her crib at night, drowsy but awake, sleeps for about 4 hour stretch at a time, and won’t sleep again unless fed. How do I get her to sleep longer? She also refuses to nap during the day unless held, and can cry for hours if left alone (and sometimes even when held). Any ideas?
My 3-month-old son gets colicky around 6pm each night. It feels silly to even try putting him through a routine when he’ll scream almost no matter what we do (he does stop crying for a short time when we bathe him, but that just pumps him up for more crying after the bath). He’s a clingy baby and falls asleep nearly every single time he eats. He can be knocked out (limp limbs) and setting him down will still wake him up. Should we just let him fall asleep at the breast each night? It saves so much trouble for everyone!
I’m loosing my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my 3 yr old does not want to sleep in his own bed……just with me! i keep on trying every night and he always ends up with me since i don’t want my other two kids to wake up with his crying (he shares room with his brother)! This is so draining for me..i need help before my hubby comes back from deployment! NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK….. :(
My daughter wakes up every 3-4 hours to feed and she’s now 6 months old, I know she can make it through the night because she’s done it before, how do I stop this pattern, I’m getting pretty tired of waking up so often during the night!
My 2 year old has recently started waking up at night to play or simply refuses to fall asleep by herself and even when I stay in her room she won’t sleep and wants to play. Since putting her in her big girl bed it has been a nightmare. Not only that, she is becoming more “clingy” refusing to walk in most situations and she is the size of a 4 year old, whew! What can I do to restore the sanity in my household? Please help… When she doesn’t get her way she screams, loudly and then throws herself to the ground in a rage. I try my hardest to stand my ground but it doesn’t always work, and for the pm I refuse to let her sleep in my bed. I have seen to many parents do that and several years later the child still sleeps in their bed. I don’t think so… that is my only salvation at the end of the day or shall I say the wee hours of the morning. Please help a very tired and frustrated mom.
My son is 18 months and still not sleeping through the night. What can i do?
What about teething? and what about a leaky diaper, although rare? Thank you.
My 3 year old has had problems with sleep since he was a baby. I have tried everything anybody has ever told me, and some have helped, but ultimatly he still has issues. His biggest problem is that he still wakes up about 3 times EVERY night and part of the concern is that everytime he wakes up he is crying and inconsolable . We joke that our one year old has slept through the night almost since birth, and our three year old is the one to keep us awake, but it is the truth. If there is any advice you could give to help us help him we would truly appreciate it! Thanks.
And i forget to tell you also that i feed her through formula and after she finished her milk she wants my breast
Hi dana Good mrning!Am from Sydney Australia .My problem is my daughter is already 16 months but still she can’t sleep on her own without rocking or feeding on my breast,playing with my nipple.She sleeps late at night around 9 sometimes 11pm.although her napping time he sleeps around 1 to 2 hrs.She also woke up bet 1am to 5:30 and ask for her milk.Ive been so exhausted.I dont have enough sleep also.Can u pls help me.Thanks dana & i hope i am also one of those lucky person that would received your free sleepsense program.thank you very much.
My 6 month old son seems to only fall asleep in the vehicle during the day. If we do not go for a drive he does not nap unless I hold him and rock him.
Please Help
My 10 month old wakes up frequently at night. I thought it was because of his teething but it appears he only wants to nurse. I think because we leave in small quarters and share a room, he is use to watching our every move…help! P.S. i hope i’m the 50th or 100th person!
I have a three year old who want stay asleep thru the night. We go to bed at the same time and he goes to sleep with no fuss on his own. He has never had a full nights sleep, he wakes up every two to four hours. When he wakes up he don’t cry I try to ignore him but he just wants to get up as if he has had engough sleep. He is ready to play. I always put him back to bed and that is when he starts to cry. It getting worse no one can get any sleep because he wake-up every two to four hours. He bearly takes a nap. he acts the same if he has a nap or not. He is very active and plays all day. Alot of engery
My seven month old son has such a hard time sleeping past the first sleep cycle during his day time naps. He wakes after 40 minutes full of energy and even after an hour of trying he still can not go back to sleep. But then within the next hour he is tired again and miserable. What can I do to help him?
My grandchild Ryliegh willl not settle down for the night until after 11pm it is sometimes 12-12:30 midnight.
We have tried everything you can think of.She does not take long naps during the day so we are always hoping she will be down for the night at 8pm but that is only a nap.
Please help
My 4 month old self settles fine now after a bit of work, but still only likes to sleep for 40-45 minutes at a time during the day. When I go to him if he has his eyes wide open I know I won’t be able to resettle him. If he is crying with his eyes closed I can sometimes resettle him to have a longer sleep. Should I be trying harder to extend the daytime naps – should I persist with resettling during the say?
Dana – I am a single mom to a 14 month old girl Avery who still wakes 1 – 2 times a night. I am still nursing, and she will go back to sleep automatically when I give her a breast. I am up to work early every day and having a struggle trying to follow the advice of your book for having her sleep through the night. Her father will be back in our lives after April this year, is it too late to wait then and try the program. Is there hope in my near future?
She usually naps every day between 1-2 for approx 1 1/2 to 3 hours. And is in bed every night between 7-8 and for the most part a good sleeper (but also a light one).
I am trying hard to wean her (Another battle of her not liking any milk) but also want a good nights sleep.
My almost 4 year old son wakes nightly (sometimes twice) to go to the washroom. Since his birth (and the birth of our second child) we have had a ritualistic bedtime routine. Bath at 6:30pm, get into pajamas, brush teeth, read two story books, lights out, bedtime! However, he still wakes once or twice a night. Fortunately, he goes right back to bed and falls asleep. However, occasionally if he wakes up completely, we could be up for an hour to two befores he nods off again. Is there anything we can do to get him to sleep through the night? Or should we thank our lucky stars that most nights he returns to sleep without incident?
We starting putting our 11 month old son, Clay, in his crib partially awake at around 7 months. Since then he has learned to put himself to sleep every night very easily with 10-15 minutes of cooing and then he is out. My question is about naps, which have been so much harder on us! I used to pat him and walk out, then come back a few more times to pat him until he fell asleep. As I try NOT to pat him and to let him learn to do it on his own, why does it take him so much longer and so many more tears before he will finally nap?
Dana,
My son is almost 8 months old and WILL NOT sleep through the night. I believe he is waking up out of habit, but he actually seems hungry. I have tried giving him just water and I can hear his little tummy gurgling, could he actually be hungry???
HOW do you break a baby of swaddling??? My 11 month old sleeps in a ‘Woombie.’ Lots of room, he can even stand up in it. He’s a great sleeper at night and at naptime. But, when I try to start weening him from it, our good sleep goes straight out the window!!
walker is now 9 months old and he is still not sleeping through the night. I have tried going back in the room when he wakes patting his tummy and telling him its allright go back to sleep now leaving and repeating this over and over again also I have tried letting him cry it out
which is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do. Nothing is working my husband and I never get any good sleep we walk around like zombies. My husband goes to med school and I am a stay at home mom for now. We have one other child named Wyat he is 3 yrs old. My 3 year old is quite active could that excite the baby maybe make him overtired?
Help how can I get my baby to sleep longer at night?
my baby girl starts to moan and babble while we feed her to sleep. is this a way of self soothing? she continues to do it until she’s fast asleep. it’s very unique!! tanja
My son Jackson has been going to sleep on his own since 8 months and sleeping 9-11 hrs at night. He is 22 months now and has been feeling uneasy about going to sleep on his own and me leaving the room all of a sudden. He has woken up in the night recently and not put himself back to sleep as usual. He just stands up in his crib and calls for me. I use the lay him down and say goodnight routine checking on him every 15 min if he isn’t settled but he is much more determined and hard to get back to sleep than when he was younger. He gets himself so worked up and just wants to stand up in the crib. The other night after 5 times going in in to check i stayed by the bed until he fell asleep, now he becomes upset if i leave the room, maybe i shouldnt have done that since has the skills already to put himself to sleep on his own. Should i just stick to the old routine and just keep going in every 15 to lay him down and say night night without staying there? Do you think the more brief i keep it when going in the room the better as it seems the more i stay the more he expects each time?
My daughter, Gabby is 17 mos. She doesn’t seem to want to take a nap anymore. She fights it and cries yet when she finally does fall asleep, she’ll sleep for up to 3 hours. I’ve tried having her lay down later, thinking maybe she’s not sleepy at around noon but that doesn’t seem to help either. I try the same routine that we use at night but to no avail. What can I do to help facilitate nap time?
also, i am having trouble getting him to sleep in his crib…help with this please? i am a first time mommy..
hello my name is star and i am i have a 6 week old boy who is constantly fussy at night and will not go to bed until 2am! how can i help him get to sleep earlier? he never did this as a newborn. It seems as though he still does not understand the concept of day and night…
My daughter Ella is 8 months old. We do a regular night time sleep routine with her, consisting of bathtime, pajamas, feed and book. She goes into her crib awake with a soother and falls asleep with no problems. But, she continues to wake up 3 to 4 times in the night. She stands up in her crib and cries. What can I do to help her sleep through the night?
Liam is 7 months old and breastfeeding as well as eating solids. However he wakes up several times during the night. He goes to bed at 6:30 p.m. and I can not keep him awake past 7:00p.m. He wakes up at 5:00 a.m. for the day. During the night he wakes up at 10:30 p.m., 12 midnight, 2:30a.m., 4:00 a.m. and requires someone to rock him which leads to breastfeeding. I put him back to sleep partially awake. He wakes up at other times during the night and puts himself back to sleep. How do I eliminate breastfeeding during the night? During the day he has 3 naps and breastfeeds before and after a nap. He puts himself to sleep for the naps. He cluster feeds between 3 – 6:30 p.m. He has solids three times a day for meals and one snack totaling 12 tablespoons. Thank you for your reply. Eva
My baby Evan is nearing his first birthday. He seems to be naturally weaning from his bottles. In the beginning he had 8 a day and one by one he went down to three. The problem is that he has been choosing which ones to give up and the middle of the night one hasn’t happened yet…how do I get him to give that one up and replace it with a daytime bottle?
My Daughter Brylee is 11 months old, she has been difficult with sleeping since day one, but it is getting to the point now that I must do something. She usually only takes 2 naps a day for an hour while laying down with me nursing the whole time. If I put her down she wakes up within 30 minutes. Her days are from @6-7am nap at @9am and at 1-3pm then bed 630pm-730pm. After nursing her to sleep at night I put her in her crib and she usaully wakes up at that point 10 20 times a night for no apparent reason. I feed sometimes if she really protest, but I try to just rock her.I have tried the stay in the room & also leaving her alone & returning to reasure her ( these usually last 3 hours & she throws up & I eventually give in). Another way is i may put her in her swing, but she requires me to lay on the floor until she falls asllep. I am exausted. I would like to know how to approach this. Do I do it all at once, just begin with naps then move on to night time, different meathods for different times? I am really at a loss & need Help!!
Thank You Dustin
My son is 11 1/2 months old and the only way I can get him to sleep is to rock him to sleep and at night time he wakes up twice and it generally takes me 1.5 hours to get him back to sleep because he is aware of when I try and put him back in his crib which doesn’t allow good sleep for my son nor myself. I have placed him in his crib to try a fall asleep himself however he cried for hours. Please help!
My baby is 2 months old and does not fall asleep without assistance. I did eventually let my other son cry at betime, but I am wondering how young is too young to let your baby cry and for how long. When we did the stay in the room or checking at intervals with our first son, itseem to get him even more worked up, so we just left him there to cry and it was a horrible feeling, but eventually worked. I feel like at two months he needs me and needs to know that he can trust me, so I have not let him cry for more than 5 minutes and he seems like he is just getting going withthe crying. I want him to fall asleep without getting so upset first and requiring so much of my attention. I do not have tons of time to spend on coaxing him to sleep because I also have a 1.5 year old who is very active and loud most of the day. If I spend too much time with the baby at nap times my toddler just barges in and starts playing beside us or demands attention and is so noisy it startles the baby. My husband works 11 hours a day, so I am on my own most of the time with the kids. I need some suggestions.
I forgot to mention that my baby has GERD and while it is getting better with growth, one of the Dr. suggestions was to hold him upright for 20-30 min. after eating.. which means usually holding him when he is falling asleep. Even when we are holding him, he seems so fussy and cries alot.. it is not like holding him seems to soothe him right to sleep.
Roxane
Hi. My two year old little girl sleeps beautifully at night. We walk out of her room between 6:45-7pm and she sleeps until about 615-630 when she hears my husband getting ready for work. It is naps we have the problem with. She wakes up after one sleep cycle is complete (about 45 min -1 hour) and refuses to go back down. I leave her in her room until I cannot stand her screaming for me any more…usually about 45 minutes. I have tried going in and briefly soothing her reminding her it is still nap time (sleepy time) but she simply stands up and screams for me. I know she is still sleepy and could use more rest time. What can I do?
Thanks
Katie
We have just moved our 18 month old from the crib to a mattress on the floor. He LOVES it. When he is asleep and wakes up at night he stays on the mattress and waits for us to come in, but I can not get him to take a nap during the day. I can hold him and get him to go to sleep, but as soon as I put him down he opens his eyes and is ready to play. The main reason this is raising a red flag for me is that his nighttime sleep has not changed at all, actually he sleeps less now. He used to go down around 8 and get up between 7 and 8am and now he wakes up at about 6am. Should we put him back in his crib? Any suggestions you have would be great.
Thanks!!
Hi Dana,
My son sleeps around 8-10 hours at night, in his own crib. However, when we are on a road trip, he tends to wake up every 2 hours. I duplicate the routine I do at home when I’m away from home such as; bath before bed, reading time, and even placing him in a crib (not his own obviously) but it’s still a crib nonetheless. What am I doing wrong? And what is throwing off his sleep pattern?
My daughter is 3 and still wants to sleep with me. She is scared of “monsters” and doesn’t like being in her room by herself. My husband is usually away so I haven’t been strict with not letting her in my bed but when he is, it’s hard to sleep with 3 in a bed and sometimes I end up sleeping in her bed. I think it’s time for a change! Any suggestions?
I have a daughter too, who is clingy and she will not sleep in the night unless I held her or sleep beside her in the bed. My problem is when she sleeps between 7-8:30. After an hour or two she will wake up crying. When I picked her up she belches and she will stay up til 12mn or sometimes past 1am. I give-in nursing her so she will go back to sleeep.What shall I do so she will sleep through without waking up. Please help.
Hunter is 5&1/2 mths, he is too big for his bassinette now so he has been moved to his cot, up until then he slept through the night but now with this big bed he wakes about 3 times a night and moves around. Any suggestions? Thank you
What do you do with a child who is 5 and still sleeping with you?
My husband and I are working on getting our 3 1/2 year old son to fall asleep on his own and stay in his bed all night. His younger sister (1 1/2) sleeps like a dream every night – goes to bed awake and sleeps soundly or if she does wake up, she may cry a minute or so but falls back asleep w/o us even checking on her. Our nightime routine w/ our son has been to go up for a bath, pjs, back downstairs for 1/2 hour or so of TV or movie then up to brush teeth, 2 stories max and sing couple songs in chair, then in bed for prayers. We’re in hallway now where he can see us if he props up in bed and he continually calls out if we’re still there. I tell him I’ll be here til he falls asleep. It’s been nearly 2 weeks since we’ve moved from me or my husband falling asleep next to him in his bed, then moved to one of us sitting in chair w/ him in his bed. Again, now we’re in the hallway. Our next step will be to move further down hall where he can’t see us. If he comes out once plan to tell him that if he comes out again, we’ll have to shut the door. My question is: if we get to the point of having to shut the door and he starts crying, how long should we have him stay in his room crying w/ the door closed?
My son Ryan is almost a year old. He has no problem falling asleep on his own for naps and at bedtime. My problem is that he only takes 45 minute naps and then an hour or two later is tired again. It seems that he just sleeps that first sleep cycle and then wakes up. He sleeps fine at night, but it is the naps that I am struggling with. How can I extend his naps so he does not want to take another nap two hours later?
Hi Carolyn,
When my son was a a little under 12 months, he would do the exact same thing. Because my schedule is flexible, I just decided that if he was tired, I’d let him take two naps. His morning nap was usually the short one and then in the afternoon he’d take a nap that was about 1 1/2hours long. I just decided that personally it was less stressful for both of us if I didn’t try to fight him so much. I don’t know if this helps at all, but just know that there are others out there dealing with the same thing – you’re not alone!
I am having exactly the same problem with Olivia – 7 months old. She goes to sleep on her own, and can put herself back to sleep in the night – just not when she naps in the day. And she’s always so unhappy and tired when she wakes from a nap.
my goodness! That sounds dreamy!!! They sleep fine at night!!! What’s the problem!!! ???:)
i am having the exact same problem with my son zach 13 months old, he sleeps through the night and can take himself off for naps in the day and at night, but his naps only last 30 mins exactly! ive tried making him stay in his cot for an hour but after 3 weeks it made no difference can anyone please help!!!!
I have to say – me too!! I have been having this same problem with Alyssa – 7 months – since birth. We finally got her to go to sleep on her own at night and through the night. However, naps are such a challenge!! 20 – 45 mins. 2 or 3 times a day. She goes to daycare 5 days a week and we even told them to put her in her crib and let her cry for a 10mins, tend to her, and put her back. She now falls asleep on her own(sometimes crys to sleep), but, will not stay asleep for very long!! I am so frustrated, because our evenings are spent trying to give her another nap, feed, bath, get ready for bed – all in 3 hrs. No time to play and enjoy each other!!! Please Help!!
I am in the same boat with my 5 month old – Holly. The only difference happens when it comes to those days where I need a nap too so I have an afternoon nap with her in my bed. For this nap she will stay down for at least 2 hours and I have even woken and left her there for a further hour without a peep from her.
I need the answer to Carolyn’s question plus should I stop napping with her for day naps (these are not occuring everyday)?
I found there is a magical time when your child is tired enough but not overly tired for a nap. When they are not tired enough or overly tired they will wake up sooner. For my little tike it was 3 hours after waking before a year and slowly stretched out to 5 hours after waking now at 2 and 1/2 yrs. As long as I found that magic time she would take naps anywhere from 1 hour (twice a day) to 3 hours (once a day when older). Now she has settled into one hour and 1/2 nap. Anyway if you can experiment with some different times for naptime maybe you can find that magical time for your child when its easy for her to sleep and stay asleep.
My 3 yr old wakes up a few times a night demanding that I come and fix her blankets. She cries and cries until I come and do it. She used to just come in and sleep with me when she woke up, but now that I’ve got her staying in her room all night, she presents this “tucking-in” need. I’m developing insomnia over the issue. I’m tempted to just let her go back to sleeping with me when she wakes up, but I know that’s not the right thing to do for the sake of her developing healthy sleeping habits.
We have been co-sleeping since our son was 3 weeks old and diagnosed with reflux. Now that he’s reflux is starting to get under control I would like to transition him from our bed to the pack and play in or our room or better yet, his crib in his bedroom. How can I do this? He is still nursing a few times during the night.
When should you start trying to get your baby on a sleep schedule? I have a newborn.
My daughter Kayla goes to sleep fine on her own. She still wakes up about three times a night. I try to soothe her without picking her up but she cries for a while. What should I do?
My daughter will be 2 years old next month. We have been thinking about transitioning her from a crib to a bed. A couple questions:
**What is the best way to do that so we aren’t constantly interrupted at night?
**When do you buy a pillow for a child. Do you normally add a pillow when they transition to a bed?
Hi. My 15 month old son wakes up EARLY. Let’s just say that if he wakes up in the 5:00 hour, we are happy. The other morning he woke up at 4:05AM!!! We went in and told him “it is still sleepy time” three times, but he just stayed awake in his crib chirping and calling to us. We finally got him up at 5:00. Is there anything we can do? We have a good, consistent bed time routine – he is usually in his crib by between 6:30 and 7 pm and he takes a fairly good afternoon nap (noon until at least 2 or 2:30). Any suggestions?
Thanks,
Nicole
Our Zachary naps from 3 til 5 and then doesn’t go to sleep until about. 11 pm . He talks to himself for at leastan hour before falling asleep by himself ! Have tried to have an earlier nap but he doesn’t seem sleepy at all What can I do to get him to gpto sleep earlier or should I just think this is his normal pattern ?
My suggestion would be to put him to bed an hour later and see if he sleeps any later.
My son is 18 weeks old and started sleeping through the night since he was 12 weeks. However, he started waking up in the middle of the night. At first, i thought he was going through a growth spurt and would get over it but it continued for 1 week. Please what do i need to do? thank you
How do I get a sick child to sleep?
My 4 month old son has a lot of the issues addressed in the clingy baby video and I have two follow up questions. First, at what age is it appropriate to implement the method that you described? Second, would it be best to begin follow this program for naps, bedtime, and nightwakings all at the same time, or is it okay to start with just the bedtime?
I am using the Sleep Sense program and I love it! I am having trouble, though, with the timing of the naps! My 6 month old is doing well and napping roughly every 2 – 2 1/2 hours, but depending on when he gets up and how long his different naps are, I run into the problem that he is often ready for a nap at 5:30 pm or 6:00 pm. Keeping him up another hour, hour and a half, until bedtime at 7pm, is very difficult because he is so tired and fussy. I have tried putting him in bed earlier, say, by 6:30pm, but then he wakes up at 4:30 am, 5:00 am. (10 hours) Thank you for any suggestions you may have!
My 4month old baby sleeps really well at night generally, wakes at 5am for a feed waking again at around 7am yet i have great difficulty getting her to take longer than 40 – 60 mins sleep through the day.
how mant total hours a day shouls almost 1 year old sleep (and how much is during naps)? what to do with teething 1 year old who wakes during night?
My 11 month old is currently teething. Some night he does well and only wakes up once. Other nights he is up every three hours and wants to be held in order to sleep. I am using baby teething remedies, but they are hit and miss when it comes to helping him sleep. Any tips? Thanks!
hello dana: want to tell you how much I enjoy your site and would like to know what you would recommend to find out which foods I should avoid while breastfeeding,, my baby is upset alot of the time and has alot of fussy periods with wanting to eat alot,, I have been trying varoius things and need some help…
i forgot to put in my address and name
Alyssa is 3 1/2 and she doesn’t go to bed until between 9-1030, sometimes later if she has had a nap in the day, which is rare these days.
She doesn’t eat well, infact, sandwiches with peanut butter and jam (jelly) and vegemite is all she has.
Once she is asleep, she stays there for a few hours, then sneaks into our bed, I have ‘caught her out’ at 2am. Because we are both there, we both think it is the other spouse and don’t fully wake up. It is only in the morning (or when I wake to feed the baby) that we find her there.
I just don’t know what to do.
My daughter(3 months) won’t sleep on her back. She spooks herself and wakes up. Is it really important for babies to sleep on their backs?
Please help me! My 11mo girl is waking up at night 3 to 4 times. I go in and lay her down with her blankie and binki. She dosen’t cry. I think she is trying to get herself back to sleep and she just can’t do it 1/2 hr. later she cries out again and I do the same thing. She has been getting herself to sleep since she was 3mo. old and I know she can sleep thru the night because she did for a few months. The night wakings began to become more frequent. What to do?
My 4 month old has a bassinet (co-sleeper) in our bedroom – there’s just no other place for it. He wakes up about 4 times a night. Can the Sleep Sense solution work for a baby that is in the same room as the parents?
Hi Dana,
I am just wondering i have started the dreamfeed to Micayla, but i am just wondering on how many times do i need to do it before i can stop that dreamfeed feed at 10.00
Thanks Isabella
My son Wyatt will be 3 in March, He is a big boy. He likes to do everything by himself but when it turns to bedtime he is the worst to get to sleep, I feel like I have tryed everything. We do the same thing every night to let him know it is nite nite time, bath brush teeth wash face pj’s ext.. But he is in a big boy bed has been for a little while now and he just gets up every 2 or 3 mins, He says that he is scared but when you ask im of what and try and talk to him he just points to anything, also he has a night light. On a good night it takes me 2 hours of putting him in the bed for him to finally fall asleep. I am expecting another baby and i just dont know how much more of this I can take any suggestions would be helpful. Also once he is a sleep he wakes up about 2 or 3 am and wants to get in the bed with me…. please help!
Is it common for 9 month old babies to suffer from night terrors and is a night terror distinguished by the baby not knowing where they are or who you are?
My baby is breast fed on demand so we don’t have a routine. How can I get into a nap routine if feeds are at different times each day? I crave the routine formula fed babies have but want to continue breastfeeding.
I feel guilty that my child has to sleep at daycare when i know that she cries everyday to put herself to sleep. i don’t want her to cry at night too, so i nurse her to sleep in my bed and we are all happy except my dear husb. who is now sleeping on the couch. what should i do? she is 15 months now. thanks
My daughter is 12 months and up until 3 weeks ago was a really good napper and night time sleeper we had her on a great routine!. I don’t know what happened but ever since then she will not nap without a big fuss and cry, and she fights going to sleep at night too, and then she is up 2-3 times at night crying aswell…..before I could just place her into her crib at night and nap time with her being awake and she would just fall asleep without a fight……now I just don’t know what to do??
My daughter is two weeks shy of 1 year old. She has NEVER been a good sleeper, but I thought it would get better. Some nights I am up with her every two hours. She just wants to be cuddled. I go back to work in two weeks and can’t do this anymore. HELP….what do I do to make her sleep for longer periods of time…thanks!
I think 4 motnhs Alyza have a bad pattern of sleeping, what is the proper sleep pattern for 4 months old. many thanks
My 5 month old girl is my 3rd child. She has 2 brothers who have a very busy after school schedule. I have to get the boys to school for 8:50 and pick them up again at 3:00. It is at this time that Catryn needs her afternoon nap so very often slleps in the stroller. Some days I go straight home, other days I go on to swimming or gym club. One day a week I go straight home but have to go out again to Cubs. It’s, therefore, very difficult to stick to a regular sleep routine in the afternoon. Sometimes she sleeps for 2 hour, sometimes 30 mins. Do you have any advice?
My 3-1/2 yr old has been waking nightly for a year crying for me to come sleep with him in his bed. I do just because we’ve tried letting him cry it out, sitting on the floor til he falls asleep, nothing has worked. It turns into a stressful time if we try to make him sleep alone. It started when he potty trained so I imagine he’s waking up to potty as he still wets every single night. Any suggestions would be helpful.
My son is nearly 9 months old his name is George and only has power naps. Its like he onlt needs half an hour then he wakes up as fresh as daisys. Its not good when he’s doing thin all night we have tried feeding him up thorght the day, keeping him away throught the day, feeding him throught the night, we have also done the cry themselves to sleep but nothing seams to work. How can we get him to sleep longer
How can I get my 10 month old son whose is “spoiled” to become a self soother? He was sleeping for 9-10 hours at time until he starting cutting teeth. Every since he has progressively gotten worse & wakes every two hours needing me to put him back to sleep.
I have 10 month old twins and they were sleeping pretty well into the night until we got off track because one was waking up teething really bad and the other got a cold. I was going in to tend to the first one that was crying immediatley because she was waking the other one up, but doing so has created a really bad cycle. It has been about 3 weeks. What can I do to get them to fall back asleep on their own again?
My son is 8 months and will sleep really well during the day but my nights are a nightmare. He will sleep for a period of 4 hours and then wake wanting food or his dummy, then sleep a further hour or two and then want the breast again. Sometimes he is good and only wakes at 2am and then 4 am and then at 7 am but lately i have been putting him to sleep at 7pm and he will wake every hour till 10pm, I give him his dummy each time trying to get him to put it in his mouth, then he will wake a 12 for a feed and then at 2, 4, 6, how do i change this without upsetting the house hold with crying …
Ella Got sick this week and is clinging and now we are worse then when she was first born. Any hope she will get back to our normal sleep routine and sleeping through the night again?
Hi Regina, my son had the same problem when he had a cold, he became clingy. I did this and it worked- i started his bedtime routine over again like i did the first time, it did cost him some tears but i was determined and guess what…he started sleeping through the night again.
Archer is 10 months old and isn’t TOO bad a sleeper… but he wakes a few hours after going to bed and needs a feed to go back to sleep. Is there a way to stop him waking at this time? its usually between 10-11.30 ish.
Thanks!
My little girl is 16 months and has never been a good sleeper I have tried lots of methods some work well but I don’t seem to be consistant enough to see things through and after a week revert to puttong her back in our bed any tips please help
My son is now six months old and has been sleeping for at least 6 hours straight since he was a month old. He goes to bed at 9pm and usually is ready get up at around 9am but he has just recently started to wake up at 6am ish to eat only to go right back to bed. In the books I’ve been reading it says that babies his age should be able to sleep for 12 hours straight without food. What do you think about this?
My son is now 13 months and since I started working 5 months ago my son wakes up 3-4 times a night and he only sleeps 1.5 – 2 hours during the day… I am trying to do a consistent routine at night but if he doesn’t have one during the day is it ever going to stop??? Is the inconsistency at daycare the problem ( he over tired?)
My 11 month old daughter has always been very good at sleeping and has slept through since she was about 13 wks old. However, after a couple of bad colds, she has been waking in the night and climbing around her cot. I try to avoid picking her up, and just give her reassurance, but she finds it hard to get back to sleep. Sometimes she is up for over an hour. Her daytime naps are often too short, with her finding it difficult to get back to sleep whe she wakes. She uses a soother at bedtime which sometimes helps (another thing I don’t know what to do about!) Any advice?
I have 9 month old twins who don’t soothe themselves to sleep. We run to get the one who wakes up before the other one wakes up too. They are in the same room. Is it better to put them in separate rooms before we teach them to soothe themselves and cry it out?
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January 12th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Hi Dana! I’ve watched your video reply on Kayla’s question about her son Rylen’s case. My son’s case is similar, and apart from the bottle in some cases, he gets to sleep being rocked and cuddled. He’s already 1 year old. Will the same process work with my son? Or do I need extra steps to help him go to sleep? I do follow a routine at night. At times, I would try putting him on his crib awake but sleepy, but he starts moving about and standing up making him lose that sleep window. Then I would have to start rocking him to sleep in the end.
My 17 mth old daughter does okay if I put her down awake…for a few hours. Then it’s back up again. The routine is that I then go get her with milk in hand and bring her to our bed. Kind of restful until she gets to stirrin’ again for a sip. Between this and life in general I am tired!!!!:-)
I recently had my second child and he is a wonderful baby and is sleeping though the night at 3 months old. However, my 2 1/2 year old daughter has begun to get out of her bed at night. She sometimes will get up numerous times before finally falling asleep. We do not lay with her or allow her to sleep with us, but we simply put her back each time and remind her it’s bedtime. Do you have any sugestions on how to get her to stay in her room? We’ve experimented with moving bedtime up to 7:00 because when she gets up frequently she tends to fall asleep later than her usually 8pm bedtime. She is a great sleeper once she goes to sleep though! Thank you!
My 2 year old wakes for no apparent reason at least once a night. As soon as I pick him up and cuddle him for a minute he falls right back to sleep. How do I go about getting him to fall back to sleep by himself?
Hi Dana
My son is 8 weeks old and is swaddled in the miracle blanket at night when he sleeps in the crib. It has been working wonders!! But, when he gets to big to swaddle, how do I make him feel safe and secure in the crib to sleep? Once his arms start flaying up, he has been waking himself up. Thanks!
My 4year old will not sleep through the night. I have to sit in the room with her until she goes to sleep (between 8:30-9:30pm). She sleeps until 2 or 3am & then calls for me or my husband. How do I get her to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up?
Thanks!!-Alana
Lexi usually sleeps well at night although she never was much of a “napper” while I was on maternity leave. She also had colic so I basically held her all day….that was the only way that she seemed to sleep. Otherwise she would only get 5 – 10 minute naps. She seems much better now but still is a light sleeper. Any ideas? I’ve always heard that you don’t need to make the room silent but to carry on normal activities….is this correct? I’m a first time mom…?
thanks!
We just moved and for the past 9 months my 22 month old has been sleeping in our bedroom. Do you have any ideas on how to get adjusted to sleeping in his own room?
How do I get a 3 year old to stop coming out of his room after I put him to bed to ask another question, tell me another “anything” or ask for another glass of water/ I am so tired of being tired because he won’t sleep when I put him down..not ever! If I had a dollar for every time I said “Get back to bed.” I would be rich. Thanks
How do I get my almost 2 year old to stop screaming at his brother in fraustration?
Hi, I am a first time mom. My son is 13 months old and does not want to go to bed at night. He cries and cries!! Sometimes he will wake up about an hour later crying. There are even times he doesn’t sleep through the night. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you,
Tina
i listened to your blog about kaylen and her son rylen. you mentioned about putting him in his cot and staying in the room and gradually getting closer to the door, i just want a little more information on this. I have tried this with my son Evan he is 7 months, and the only way to calm him down is to hold him, if i lie him in his cot to go to sleep he bangs his legs on the matress and cries till i pick him up. how can i get from this stage to just letting him be ok with me just being present in the room with him?
lisa
When do children start to stop napping during the day? My child is almost 3 and a half and does not nap during the day. But if she naps then at night she is up for an extra 1 to hours before sleeping.
ok so i have a 18month old who is in a toddler bed and the only way she will fall asleep is if mommy is laying by her and every time she wakes up though the night i have to get up go to her room and lay with her til she is asleep again i knw the only way she will sleep all night is to stop laying with her but i tried that and she just screams in bed for a few min. then gets up and starts heading either to the doorway were i am or our room what do i do to get her to sleep all night and take longer naps during the day when she can just get up
How do I brake m7 6.5 month old of co-sleeping with me?
My 4 month old son is quite happy to be put in his cot awake for sleeps during the day, he looks at his toy for a few minutes then falls asleep. However when it comes to the evening we do his bedtime routine at the same time every night – bath, feed, story then into bed and he cries for and hour to an hour and a half before falling asleep. We go in every 5-10mins to calm him down without picking him up but he just gets so worked up he wont stop crying when we come into the room and pat him or shoosh him. We’ve tried putting him down earlier and tried keeping him up later, we’ve tried missing the bath or stories, weve tried having the curtains open and shut… but he does the same thing no matter what. It is a horrible way to have to end each day. How do i get him to go to sleep quietly at night like he does in the day?
My 20 month old granddaughter goes to bed great, but wakes up around 3 am to 4:30 am and it’s very hard (or impossible most mornings) to get her to lay back down and go to sleep. How can we get her to sleep later (hopefully at least 6 am)? Knowing I shouldn’t, but I have put her in bed with me and she goes back to sleep quickly.
I have tried everything to get my 2.5 year old to go to sleep at 7-8- at night nothing seems to be working getting him up real early in the moring and now its 5:50pm no nap from him and he still stays up to 1-2-3am before he finally falls a sleep. i need some serious help with the child i cant even function myself to take care of him or the rest of my family. I do the bath time book time bed time thing every night no LUCK!!! Sincerely Linda HELP!!!!!!
My 18month old son Jonah will not stay asleep through the whole night. He goes to bed between 7-8 with out much fuss but rarely will sleep the whole night. He naps almost everyday between 1-2hrs without a problem.Actually without a nap he is up restless almost all night long.What do I do?? My husband and I are getting VERY exhausted!
Is there anything wrong with a 3 year old using a soother if they sleep well at night?
One thing I don’t understand is how a little pat or rub on the back and saying a little key phrase is supposed to help. My JJ is 16 months old and he stands up and screams to be picked up out of the cot. If I leave the room he screams until he’s choking with tears and it doesn’t stop even after ten minutes which is as long as I can stand to leave him and I’ve only tried that a couple of times. Going in and comforting him with a pat is like a drop in the ocean if he is screaming and reaching to be picked up. Can you please explain what I can do to keep him happy in the cot until he is sleepy enough to even try putting himself to sleep? I do also try the whole routine thing but he just keeps playing unless I breastfeed him to sleep.
Similar situation to Patricia’s 3-year old… with some additional issues as well… my 4-year old son John is in daycare. I wake him at 7am and have him at daycare by 8-8:30 for breakfast. He has lunch at 11:30 and naptime about 12:30 or 1 until around 3 (although sometimes he doesn’t nap the whole time). Then he is up until usually 10 pm. If we’re lucky we can get him in bed by 9 but it takes a long time for him to fall asleep. Absolutely no interest in going to bed any earlier. Maybe he’s ready for no nap? But with daycare providing the opportunity and him not going to bed earlier, he takes it. Then come the weekends, he’s still up late and wakes up early… but won’t nap unless we’re in the car around 3-4pm (or later)… then he may fall asleep just because he’s so tiredand the car helps… but he won’t willingly go down for a nap (and certainly not at a decent time)… this of course means he’s up late as well… if we let him sleep. But even if he stays up (with no nap), he still won’t go to bed early… at least not most days… how do we get him on a more regular schedule and how much sleep does he really need?
I have a two and a half year old son who still wakes up at night for milk. I have heard that this is common because some kids wake up because they have nightmares and need reassurance. But my son wakes up every night. Is this normal and what can I do to make sure we both get a good nights sleep? Thank you
Hi. Our son is almost 8 months and still doesn’t sleep the whole night through. Sometimes he will cry and cry until we get him out of bed – we sometimes bring him into our bed. What would you suggest? Thanks, Michael
What do I have to do to get my son to fall asleep on his own? He will be three months the 21st and he relies on me to feed him in order for him to fall asleep half the time he just wants to chew on the nipple of the bottle.
My daughter Ariyanna (18weeksold) has to be on a weird sleep schedule because me and my husband work different hours. I work 6:30 am to 3 pm and he works 1:30 pm to around 10 or 11 at night… So I try to put her to bed after he gets home so she will sleep long enough for him to get some sleep. Well I have started putting her to bed awake…making sure she is very tired but she still wakes up 3-4 times a night. I read that babies should sleep for around 12 hours a night… and I feed her when I wake up at 5 AM. If she wakes up before or after that we put the binky in her mouth and she ususally goes right back to sleep… the past couple of mornings she is waking up very early and not wanting to go back to sleep. She is also swaddled and will not sleep if she is not wrapped up. We really need some advice on what to do to get her to sleep unwrapped and all night.
Natalie I have exactly the same problem. Few weeks ago I put my 28 month old daughter in a bed and she just will not stay there! after sometimes hours of persistant, silent returning her to bed to get her to sleep in the first place, she eventually passes out but is in my room getting into bed with me just a few hours later. And she doesnt settle. We are both constantly shattered and I just dont know how to stop it. Im exhausted and often just let her sleep in with me because im too tired to go through another 2 hours of battle getting her to sleep again. If you find a miracle solution I will pay you for it lol! good luck x
My son Dylan is 5 months on Thursday as is sleeping well through the night (almost 10-11hrs) with maybe one wake in the middle of the night but he just chats to himself and then falls back asleep. The day sleep vary from 1-2 1/2 hrs 2-3 times a day, so overall i am happy, BUT he has just discovered rolling back to front and he can’t get himself back onto his back. he also won’t relax on his tummy and put his head down, so instead he just evetually gets frustrated and cries. This could be a while until he works out how to roll back or relaxes and sleeps in that position, but until then he is breaking his sleep and going from a “good” sleeper to a self disrupted sleeper.
I am not keen on the tools that “tie your baby” down as I think what he is doing is his natural development process, but in the meantime how do I manage his sleep?
HELP and thank you :)
My 19-month old wakes up between 5 – 6am each day. On the days he’s up closer to 5 he’s crabby until nap time. How can I get him to sleep later?
My daughter is 8 months old and she just started sleeping through the night (or 8-10 hours straight). However, lately she begins to wake up at 1 AM and is fully awake. Nothing I do seems to help me put her back down for sleep. What can I do to help my daughter sleep through the night? So far we’ve been following the nightly routine of bath, bottle, cuddle time and then place her in the crib for the night since she was 3 months old.
My son Cal is 2 months old and colic. He sleeps pretty well some 4 and 5 hour streches. He is breastfead. Our nightly routine is 7:00-tubby time, followed by a dark roomed massage with some music, then a quick dance with mommy (or daddy) and then we feed and go down by 8:00. He then makes it till 1-1:30 before he wakes and wants to eat. But this is where it all falls apart. He then starts pushing because his belly is hurting. He makes it till about 3 and then a melt down usually occurs. I know that the colic has alot to do with this, but he sleeps so well in the beginning and I am afraid that this is going to ruin what good we have going for when the colic is gone. Any ideas???
I have a 12 month old, I have made a mistake
by letting him sleep with me when I was nursing. Now he is dependent on going to sleep in our bed and has gotten into the habit that we both have to be in bed for him to fall to sleep.. He has never spent a night or a nap in his crib. I am expecting another child in March. please help we are both exhausted this is not Tristan’s fault totally mine… and now we are all paying for it…. Please help
my little guy has just started solids but is still finding he wakes up twice a night for a bottle, is this normal?
My name is Krystal and my 8 month old son Zachary still isn’t sleeping threw the night. He is up by 7:30 every morning then wants to take a nap at 11 he usually sleeps for a few hours sometimes its only one hour. Then he takes another nap around 3 and wakes up at 5 some times the second nap varies and he won’t nap until 5 then wakes up at 7. He generally goes to sleep at 9 and is almost always up around 1 or 2 in the morning to be fed. If you have any ideas on how to get him to sleep threw the night I would appreciate it. Also I always lay him in his crib awake and we have a normal routine that we follow everynight. Bath bottle then bed. Thank you, Krystal
My 21 months old son was sleeping through the night on his own, but a few nights ago, he started to cry in his sleep, as if having a nightmare, then he would bolt out of his cot to find me. Any suggestions? I am thinking it might be growing pains, because he sometimes rub his knees and points to it when he is awake.
How do you change feeding pattern at bedtime to help with a better sleep routine?
My LO is 13months and has bath, boob, bed. But recently I feel he is hanging onto feeding (although more suckling than feeding) to stay close to me. It also seems to keep him awake as he resists sleeping. Any advice on how best to change this and improve his sleep routine?
Thanks
Hi my son is turning 8 months, but he cries in his sleep. He is fast asleep. Is this normal for babies to do? How can I get him to stop crying in his sleep?
My 18 month old baby is not sleeping well, but you mention not to use a bottle to get the baby to sleep. She uses a blanket and a bottle. But, are we too late to get the bottle out of her routine? When she first came to us, getting her to go to bed at night was a fight. But, watching your website has helped us define a routine (even down to the Star Trek we put on TV), but the bottle is part of it. The problem is that at 3am she always wakes up and needs more milk. What can we do? My wife hasn’t slept in months. We are grandparents taking on this role. It’s tough.
My baby currently only sleep in his own room and environment. When he’s out about, he would not sleep even he’s exhausted. How do I have my baby sleep anywhere?
my son is 18months and i having a hard time falling alsleep until about 9pm to 11pm. he has been really fuddy lately. how do i get him on a sleep routine?
We just began doing foster care and lots of the books that I have read on sleep are not really helping because he (6 months old) very much needs to feel secure and not scared or left alone (his history). How can I make him feel secure/loved/safe/not alone and yet get him to sleep by himself (without waking frequently)? Any suggestions would be appreciated!! :)
We just brought our newborn home and our 18 month old daughter who has been an awesome sleeper will just stand in crib during nap time and bedtime. This is heart breaking. I have tried two things not going in and she will just continue to stand even up to 3 hours. Or I have gone in and told her that it is bed time and lay her down and then leave. She immediately stands back up! How can I get my once great sleeper to sleep again?
My son is 18months and has been really fussy lately and is having a hard time falling sleeping until about 9pm to 11pm. How should i get him on a routine.
jake has always been a good sleeper but up till now at 21 months he is really clingy and seems to think that he needs to be my arms awake and asleep. I will try your solution as the above just does not work for me. I hope I get the sleep sense program as my two children are nothing alike and the first one was easy.
Hi Dana,
Thanks for all of your blogs on getting children to sleep better! My son is now 10.5 months and was sleeping through the night at 7.5 months. He likes to sleep with us when he gets sick, and then we have to train him to sleep on his own again and through the night after that. It is mostly for my convenience that I pull him into bed with us since he wakes up so often when sick. Is it a mistake to pull him into bed when sick, or is this normal to have to retrain them to sleep well after being sick? He just got over pneumonia and we are on Day 3 of retraining him and it just breaks my heart to put him through that if there is a way to avoid it. I was very spoiled by my first son who slept well even when sick since he was 4 months old! Thank you!
I have a toddler, whos bedroom is on the 2nd floor and ours on the first. He says he’s scared, so I have tried a night light, etc, but I can’t get him to even lay down in his bed without running for the door. Eventually this turns into him throwing a complete fit and hitting and kicking me. What do I do???? Do I get a baby gate. We live in an old house and his bedroom door will not shut all the way. However, I’m afraid he will climb the gate at night and maybe get hurt…. Ugh!
My son Anthony is a few months into being 2 years old and still sleeps in bed with my husband & I. AND he still nurses to sleep almost every night and wakes up several times a night wanting to nurse often for extended periods. None of us is getting the sleep we need; please help!
Just wondering if you had tips on transitioning your child from one sleep pattern (four naps to three naps, or three naps to two naps). Any tips to make this transition flow smoother? Also, at what time should parents expect a reasonable bed time to be for a 5 month old.
Thanks
I have a 21 mo old and a 5 mo old. Since the baby has been born, the older baby has started refusing to take a nap in the afternoon. She’ll just flop all over the bed, talk to herself, and play. She’ll finally want to sleep in the late afternoon, but I don’t want to let her sleep because she’ll do the same refuse to sleep behavior for several hours at bedtime and still be awake at midnight. How can I encourage her to take a nice nap in the early afternoon? Thank you.
My twin girls are 9 months old. I hate to compare, but the oldest twin, Kasandra, has been sleeping through the night (with the exception of during times of illness) from approximately 6p to 6a from 4 months of age. The youngest, Gabriella, wakes (like clockwork, it seems) some time around midnight. She will take a bottle, diaper change and it’s back to bed (drowsy, but awake) and back to sleep til morning. We’ve tried to let her put herself back to sleep at this midnight waking, but she does not and just gets herself worked up. The last time we tried to let her “cry it out”, she got sick the very next day so, needless to say, we don’t want to try that again. Plus, with the twins sharing a room, it definitely disrupts Kasandra’s sleep. And Gabriella does not do well if I just stand there to comfort her or if I’m anywhere in the room, within eye sight.
Both twins take a soother, but do not require re-plugging. Even the midnight waking is not for a replug. And Gabriella does not fall asleep with the bottle. Additionally, she often stirs about 45 minutes after being put to bed, but if left alone, she soothes herself to sleep, so I know she’s capable of it.
Should I just continue with the midnight feeding?
What is the best way to handle my 10 month old when he is scratching me, pulling my hair and biting? He will then turn around and give me a kiss before starting all over again!
My daughter is now transitioning into a bed however seems to be having a hard time staying there. Her bedtime routine has not changed from when she was in a cot but now in a bed she has realised a freedom that was not there when she was in the cot. How do I go about getting her to go to sleep in her bed without coming out of her room constantly with me now having to stay with her until she falls asleep
Hi mabye have a night light next to her bed if you don’t already. The nights she does sleep in her bed praise her the next day by saying how she is a big girl now by sleeping in her own bed all night and mabye even get her to make her own bed each morning so she associates herself with it. We never had trouble with our first daughter as once she was in bed and we were ready to turn out the light she would start cring out for me to stay and as much as i didn’t like it i would have to be firm and say goodnight and walk out. She soon learnt that she could sleep all night by herself in her own bed. Good luck
http://www.goodnitelite.com/index.php
i have heard good things about this.
Hi. used to have the same problem, but we got a reward sticker chart and she got a sticker for staying in bed and a special sticker in the morning for staying n her own bed all night.
she doesnt need t any more
Hi there;
my six month old is still waking up throughout the night to nurse. I’ve tried not nursing her but she appears really hungry as she will feed from both breasts, is this normal? What can I do to stop this?
Thank you
Don’t feel guilty. My son did the exact same thing at that age. I felt puting him to bed when he seems so hungry seemed cruel, until I realized that when someone else helped him back to bed, nursing was the furthest thing from his mind. If you could get help from another family member for a couple of nights, it doesn’t take them too long at that age to adjust their sleep patterns. Hopefully in a week you too can get some rest, Good luck.
I was having the same problem with my 6month old and she was taking a full 7oz bottle at 7pm and another at 1pm. I have read so much condratictory advice about it some saying its normal and others saying its not. In the last two weeks I moved her 1pm feed forward 1/2 hour each night until I got to 10.30pm (dream feed time) and then she just starting refusing the feed. I also increased her solids in line with this. During the first few weeks she was still waking but with a gentle pat and ssh she went back to sleep. Its been 2 weeks and I have got her to go 7-7without a feed. She has stopped waking before 2am so a little more work to do but I am continuing. I have had 2nights were she has gone till 4am so I know she can do it. I figure they will stop when they are ready but found the above info I have given has helped.
We are having a tough time with our 5 month old who has an ear infection and wakes nearly every 2 hours at night. It is exhausting ~ any suggestions?
My older son used to get a lot of ear infections when he was little. My pediatrician told me to “prop” the crib matress by putting a thin pillow under the head of the mattress to keep him from lying flat. You can also try putting cotton balls in their ears to reduce the amount of air on them (they don’t always leave them in). Hope that helps!
What do you think about the sleep traing method? Basically, you do the same routine every night, you then say the same thing, lay the baby down and walk out of the room. you then could to ten, walk back into the room, say the same thing, lay the baby down, and walk back out, until baby is asleep. I have a 1 year old daughter, who is addicted to nursing, and who has slept with us since day one!
My daughter Georgie is 23 months, and since the age of 1 has been quite a good sleeper, ie: going to bed at approx 7 – 7.30pm each night and sleeping through to approx 6-6.30am, without any disruptions.
However in the last 3-4 weeks, she has been going to bed at the same time and then waking at 10pm and up sometimes until 2am. She is screaming out of control as if in pain, but the minute she is being picked up she laughs and it stops.
Im sure this is a behaviour problem, but how do I get her back to her normal routine, as I think it has now become a habbit.
Thanks So Much
Victoria
I am experiencing the same thing. What did u do?
I am having problems keeping my son on a nap schedule. With the busyness of the day, they are at different times, although I always make sure he has two. How important is it that I keep the naps on schedule, and, if I nurse him right before a nap, will that negate the hard work I have done to put him down for the night without a nursing session?
Thanks!
Hi Emily. Just watch your baby doesn’t get over tired in the daytime. It’s a bit about give & take. You might have to adapt your busyness a bit. Try watching for eye rubbing or vague stares and try really hard to put your baby to.bed then if at all possible. My bub refuses to feed anytime other than at the last minute before naps… I was worried too but I find that the recommended feed play sleep routine revs her up too much & she needs quiet time before a nap anyway. She goes to bed at 6pm & sleeps 12hrs without a sound so it doesn’t seem to bother her (she’s 6 months).
My 11 month old just started waking up for 1-2 hour stretches in the middle of the night…she’s been sleeping well for about 2 months prior to this. She seems to be groggy for a while and quiet, then just wide awake. Any ideas? Thanks!
Hi Dana! I’ve watched your video reply on Kayla’s question about her son Rylen’s case. My son’s case is similar, and apart from the bottle in some cases, he gets to sleep being rocked and cuddled. He’s already 1 year old. Will the same process work with my son? Or do I need extra steps to help him go to sleep? I do follow a routine at night. At times, I would try putting him on his crib awake but sleepy, but he starts moving about and standing up making him lose that sleep window. Then I would have to start rocking him to sleep in the end.
My 7 1/2 month old has not yet slept through the night. I have dilligently attempted to try several sleep techniques and continue to not have success. This is my 4th child and I feel that I am at my wits end. My baby goes to sleep just fine on her own, while awake. I provide the same bed time routine, however she wakes up between 1-3 times per night and I have gone from letting her cry for over 2 hours in the middle of the night, to nursing her to get her to go back to sleep. Her typical sleep hours are bed around 6-6:30 pm and her first wake cycle is around 10:30-11:30, with subsequent awake cycles around 2-4 am. We try to have my husband calm her by patting on the back and giving her a pacifer, but ultimately it makes her even angrier and I end up feeding her so she will calm down. I have tried to calm her as well and only get her more upset. she takes 2 good naps per day around 1.5 to 2.5 hours each one in the am and one in the early afternoon. any suggestions would be appreciated.
try putting her to bed a little later. maybe about 7. then try and alter her naps around that too so then during the day she is sleeping a little later on then her nights might get that bit better :)
hi,
i dont have an answer for you but it sounds like you are talking about my 7 1/2 month old! i dont no what to do, i dont want to not nurse her if shes actually hungry yet she has 3 good meals per day and snacks. she wont stop crying until i go to her. id love some advice!
Don’t know if this will help you two, but my child did this and my doctor said it was just to get the social attention. So I did nurse her just as she wanted but but started slowly weaning her off – every three days cut the amount back. The first three nights she had regular nursing sessions. Then I halfed the amount of milk (as best you can when nursing) for the next three nights. Then I halfed that amount for the next three nights until she was down to just a couple of swallows at each feeding. If she fussed when I took her off I put her back on for just a few more swallows. I also did not look her in the eye or talk to her at night, but I did keep rocking her for a few minutes until she fell back asleep. That way she was soothed but didn’t realize she was also getting used to less attention and milk. She decided it wasn’t worth it in the end and started going back to sleep on her own.
I have a one month old and he only sleeps when I put him on my chest. When I put him down he wakes up and starts crying. So for the past week he sleeps in the bed with me on my chest so that both of us gets sleep. He wont even sleep during the day with out being on me. He just always wants to be help. What can I do to get him to sleep with out him being on my chest or in my arms?
Alicia, Please let know if you get any suggestions I am experiencing the same thing right now with my 6 week old! He seems to be fussy/gassy every evening until midnight when he finally goes to sleep by that time he and I are so sleepy I let him sleep on my chest also. We are in a vicious cycle I am not sure what to do to break it. Help!!!
I would like to get my baby to sleep in his own cot but we have to give him a feed to settle him. He does drift off to sleep on his own but on our bed and then we lift him into his cot. If we try and put him into his cot awake then he just cries to get out. I don’t like leaving him to cry. What is the best technique? We have a 3 year old who is woken up by his crying so we then have to get them both off to sleep again. So we usually revert to getting him to sleep and then lifting him in to the cot to keep the noise down.
I had this problem with my 11 mth old i got around this by taking her into her room and laying her down in her cot with her bottle/milk/Juice. Taliking to her and letting her know i was there making sure she can see me atleast for the first couple of days/nights and slowly getting further away and less talking now i leave her in her cot on her own and leave the room..she does talk to her self for a while but eventually fall fast asleep.Keep putting in the cot wide awake it all pays off in the end
My son easily falls asleep on his own, however, he has been waking every night around 3:15. So frustrating!!!! He goes to bed around 7:30pm. What do I do?
I am also having the same problem with my son. He wakes up every morning around 4am and will not go back to sleep. He has been doing this for a while now and I am concerned that he is developing a pattern that he cannot break. He will put himself to sleep with ease during naps and bedtime but wants to be up at 4am. I tried the going in every 5-10 mins and it worked for about 3 days and now it is back to the crying/screaming until I take him downstairs. I also have to wake him up from his naps during the day because is sleeping for about 3 1/2- 4hrs long. Any suggestions, I am expecting my third in June and I need some sleep myself. My son is 22 mths old.
I’d say they are getting cold. This is the coldest part of the night. try adding another layer of clothing or turning up your heater a click, it might take a couple of nights to get out of the habit now but try to let them self settle at that time if they are warm enough.
very possible, agree w/Julie. If my 15 mo old daughter gets cold she will wake me up at night, is the only reason she would!
Ruby is 16 months old now i put her to bed each night at 8.00 awake with a bottle of water. She falls asleep no problem but she wakes up at 5.00am. I go in to her after five minutes and put her down and assure her that i am here for her and tell her it is still night time, then i go in every ten minutes and put her down, i do not speak to her, we did this until 7.am and she never went back to sleep.
JORDAN IS 3YRS OLD & DOESN’T WANT TO GO TO SLEEP UNTIL 9, 10 & SOMETIMES 11PM..LUNCH AT DAYCARE AT 11:30AM & NAP AT 12 NOON TO SOMETIMES 2 OR 2:30. HE GETS UP AT 5AM & AT DAYCARE BY 6AM THEN I PICK HIM UP AT 4:30 PM & WE ARE HOME BY 5:15PM…I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING TO GET HIM TO GO TO SLEEP BY 7:30 OR 8PM…..I AM REALLY WORRIED ABOUT HIS HEALTH SINCE HE NEEDS TO GET RESTED….EVEN HIS EATING HABITS ARE GETTING BAD AS TO NOT WANTING TO EAT SOMETIMES WHEN i BRING HIM HOME…..PLEASE HELP i AM REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT HIM…THANKS
Patricia, maybe the issue is that you are putting Jordan to bed too late. I would try an earlier bedtime, maybe 6:30/7:00pm, especially considering how early he has to get up in the morning.
Hi Patricia,
My 3 year old has the same issue when his nap is too long. I do not let him sleep longer than 45 minutes since it now interferes with night sleep. Please ask the caregivers at the daycare to gently wake Jordan after 45minutes (1 sleep cycle) then put him to bed by 7:45pm.
I promise it will make a big difference. Most kids their age are actually starting to drop their nap altogether so it wouldn’t be unnatural to cut the nap time down.
Hope that helps.
I was just hoping this was just a phase… I started shortening his daytime naps… which does help put with bedtime, but not so much with his mood;
My son was much the same at this age. I cut his lunchtime nap to 1 hour max. Dis the usual bedtime winddown from 7pm bath books etc. Layed with him at bedtime 8pm till he fell asleep for a couple of weeks while we listened to music, then I stayed just for 2 songs now one song and he is happy to stay in his bed and soon falls asleep. He has a night light on and black out blinds. Then we tackled the early mornings with a day/ night clock by his bed and set it for 10 mins after the time he usually wakes 5.30am and as the weeks went on strentching 10 mins every couple of weeks he now wakes at 6.50am without using the clock. If he relapses we use the clock again. I have also used sticker charts and rewards to help along the way but find they only work short term!
I find this so strange. I’ve always been taught that sleep brings sleep, that holding a baby awake makes them over tired & harder to settle. Personally I think the original posters baby is over tired by 8pm & needs to go to bed earlier. My 6 month old goes to bed at 6pm sharp every night & sleeps 12 hours without saying boo. She generally feeds at 6am then is back to bed for a bit & still has 2 – 3 short day naps (1 hr 20 approx) be careful of cutting back day naps to get a baby to sleep over night. Try an earlier bedtime for a while before you change day time naps. They will settle better if not over tired.
My daughter Jenna is six months old and is still waking 3 or 4 times during the night. Sometimes it will be to eat others just to be held. It has been very stressfull lately. I have tried the “cry it out” method, but is just too painful. Help?