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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question comes from Nicolette. She writes:
“My baby is eight months old and cannot sleep without outside resources—rocking, patting, and nursing. I know this needs to change, but the problem is, I’m a really social person. My husband and I go out at least one night a week, and we like to take the baby with us. However, I’m afraid that my social life will interfere with teaching Kate to sleep. Is there any advice you can give? How do I teach her to sleep even when we’re not home?”
One of the things I think is important to remember is that your child’s sleep needs are just as important as anything else in their life. You wouldn’t let her skip a meal because you wanted to go out. You wouldn’t let her not get exercise because you wanted to go out. So, you really do need to kind of keep that in mind around your life as well.
I can relate because I’m a very social person as well. I like to go out with my friends, I like to go out with my husband, I like to go out with my family, but I really don’t try to combine all of those into one. If it’s family time, we go out at appropriate hours to do things with our family, and then we make sure we’re at home for bedtime. If we want to go out for the evening, we get a babysitter. Or, when we had fewer children, and they were smaller, we would take our Pack ‘n Play along. If we were at a friend’s house for dinner, we would just put our baby down for the night in a bedroom somewhere, and he was very good at putting himself to sleep wherever we went. And the more we practiced, the better he got. He was very portable in the sense that we could take him for an evening, but we had to honor his need for sleep, and that meant when it’s bedtime, off he went.
If there is any downside to having a great-sleeping child it’s that you will find they do sleep best when they’re at home, or at least where the environment is similar to home. The good news is that if you have a child who sleeps great, it’s no trouble to get a babysitter. Grandma could babysit, your sister could babysit, you could hire a babysitter, and anyone is going to be able to do this with the same kind of success that you’ll have. It’s very freeing to have a child who goes to sleep well, and you can feel peace when you go out, knowing that everything is fine at home. You can still have a social life. It just requires a little more preplanning. The spontaneity of my social life is definitely gone, but as I’m planning ahead, I can definitely meet all of my needs, as far as having a social life.
So, I would suggest that you clear your schedule for a couple of weeks. Make training Kate to sleep well your No. 1 priority. Be home for naps and bedtime, and get started on this. You admit that she’s got a lot of props—rocking, patting, and nursing. All of those connections are going to have to be broken, and she’s going to have to start finding new ways to get herself to sleep that are more internal. Ideally, what you want everybody to have is internalized sleeping strategies. “I have the power to do this all by myself. I don’t need to rely on anything external to help me.” That’s your goal with her.
There’s a variety of ways you can tackle it. You might want to do the stay-in-the-room method. If you’re going to do patting, though, be careful that you’re not patting her to sleep. That’s still a prop, and she’ll still want you to come in and pat her whenever she has a wake-up. Make your patting really intermittent. Offer it, withdraw, offer it, withdraw, so she’s not using it as a way to lull herself to sleep.
I hope that helps you and that you continue to have a great social life. Sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
Hello, I really liked this information, I hope you continue updating, Greetings
A different issue is really that video gaming has become one of the all-time most important forms of excitement for people spanning various ages. Kids play video games, and also adults do, too. The XBox 360 is amongst the favorite gaming systems for many who love to have a lot of activities available to them, and also who like to play live with other individuals all over the world. Many thanks for sharing your opinions.
My daughter Makenna is 3 in 8 days and she wont sleep through the night i wish she would. no sleep has left me struggling to stay awake at work and i have been trying EVERYTHING even a comfort item called ‘Fuzzy Bear’ and ‘Fuzzy Bunny’. Please help!
~K
My 4 month old only sleeps for only 20-40 minutes for her nap times. How can I get her to sleep longer? Sleep schedule
wake up at 7am. Nap at 9,12,3 and 5pm. Bedtime at 7pm. She sleeps good at night but wake up twice at 3:30 and 5:30am.
my baby is 8moonths old and lately he wont sleep on his own, he sleep next to me and wakes up every 1 or so and wants the breast or wont go but to sleep, i try to let him cry a bit but still wont work…what can i do.
Hello,
Throughout your website you reference the “stay in the room” or “leave and check” methods, at what age can I start using these methods to help my baby fall asleep on her own?
Thanks,
Help – PLEASE!! My 22 month old is all of a sudden having sleep issues. He’s crying when we put him in his crib for naps and bedtime. He hasn’t done that since he was around 9 months old. I went back to teaching a week ago, and then his big sister started school last week. He’s at our house with my mom, which has been fine up until day 2 of mommy and sissy being at school. He isn’t taking naps. Even after going in and saying, “Nappy time” and removing him after 15-20 minutes or so and trying it again. He just stands in his crib, yelling for us to come and get him. Then last night, he wouldn’t sleep at all. It was around 1:00, when I noticed that he finally laid down. However, he woke at 5:00 and stood in his crib until I went in around 7:00. He usually sleeps until 8:30, or so. Nap time was again, a struggle. I finally just got him from his crib and took him downstairs, after the leave method, etc. PLEASE, I would be so grateful for some advice. I need my precious little toddler to get some rest, plus I need some rest, so that I can focus on my 3rd graders at school and my family when I get home!! THANK YOU so much!!
help, my baby is 1 year old, and he does not sleep, he has a 1hr nap in a morning but then doesn’t have another at all, he plays all day and we take him walking in the evening but nothing tires him out, he doesn’t go to sleep till gone midnight, wakes about 2ish, sometimes settles, sometimes he doesn’t, and if he does he’s up at 4.30 – 5.00am and thats it, so in 24 hrs he sleeps 5hrs, including his hour in a morning, is there something up with him? or with me?
My Little girl Bonnie is 4 months old and we have been doing a bedtime routine for a week now. We start bath time a 7pm and I put her down at 8pm. She then would wake up at 11:30 go back down and wake up again at 5am and then fall asleep again until 7 to 7:30am. That was the first part of the week and one would think things were going well! Well thing are not going so well now! We are still doing the bedtime routine, but now she is waking at odde hours of the night. Tonight the routine is:
7:20 Bath time
7:30 Story time (she may not let me read for very long)
7:40 Nursing until bedtime
8:00 Bedtime
She cried for 18 minutes but went to sleep, woke up at 12:30 am so I nursed her for 20 minutes. She went back to sleep.
She then woke at 2:30am,I let her cry it out. I did not picked her up out of her crib. But I have been going in to her room here and there and she will not let me sooth her! At 3:41 I could not stand the blood curdling cries from the other room! I nursed her until 3:54 and put her down again.
What are we doing wrong!
Need your help and sleep
Julie Barlow
214.803.4460
julierussia7@gmail.com
P.S She just woke up again! it’s 4 am!
Hi Dana,
My question is about the upcoming time change. My baby sleeps through the night and wakes up around 7am. I am worried what will happen when daylight savings switches in October. Will I be stuck getting up at 6 and putting her to bed at 6? Is it better to adjust the same way we do (by losing sleep until we adjust)? or should I try to adjust her bedtime a few weeks before?
Thanks for considering my question!
My son is 4months old and still wakes up during the night for feedings at least 2 to 3 times. What can I do?
I have an 11 month old son who has only sleep through the night twice. I used the sleep sense program with my 2 and 1/2 yr old daughter it was wonderful, but he is a different story. He just cries and screams louder. Most nights he is up two times but other nights it is every 20 minutes. We have let the crying go for 45 minutes but that is about all we can take. The harder he cries the harder it is to get him to go back to sleep. I just don’t know what to do. I am very frustrated and exausted. Any advice would be appreciated.
My child is 14mths old, he is generally a good sleeper waking maybe once or twice a night if were having a bad night! He has come to rely on his dummy to fall asleep which is one of the reason i’m having to get up to put it back into his mouth, i have tried the weaning off thing, he would only just cry and get to unsettled and start to vomit! Now i have read in some books that you should put towels down and let them vomit, but my little boy continues to vomit, once he has that gage reflex going he’s on a role! And then he is way to distress, tired and hungry to go back to sleep for a couple of hours! What can i do to wean him off the dummy without coming to this problem?
hi Dana I used to put my baby in her bed & sleeps alone, now, my baby sleeps between us & likes this way. Even when she wants to go sleep, she sleeps in our bed & then I put her in her own bed, but in the middle of the night she cries to come back.
We’re tired, what shall we do?
My sister has 10 week old twins. Max is a great sleeper, long daytime naps and 6 hr stretches at night. Alex fights sleep takes very short daytime naps, barely goes 6 hrs at night and is very hard to calm. They are sleeping in the same crib, Alex is so loud that he sometimes wakes Max. Should She seperate them so that one does not wake the other?
My 13 month old grandson has never slept in his bed. He screams when you go near it. If he is asleep and I place him in it, he wakes up immediately. He is a very light sleeper. At home he sleeps in his mommy’s bed and not well and not without nursing first. I end up just holding him and that is tiring and I cannot get anything done. Is it too late now to change his habits. He is strong-willed and smart. Somebody please help. We have tried the different sleep methods without success.
My son Jacob wakes up between 4am and 5am every morning. We put him to bed awake and he always goes to sleep himself. We have tried putting him to bed later in the hope that he wakes later but this does make any difference. He isn’t always hungry as he does not always finish a full bottle when he wakes. He then goes back to sleep around 7am. Do you have any ideas how to get him to sleep longer.
My 1 year old wakes EVERY early morning at 4:47am for a nursing. Then he is put back in his crib and sleeps until 7-730ish…How on earth do I cut that one feeding out? If I don’t go in there, he will scream horribly until I go in…. Please help, it’s awful!!!
My son will only sleep in his crib. Hi Dana, how do I get my 10 month old son to take the occasional nap in a stroller? Because of hard work, he is a good sleeper (all night & 2 naps). He gets cranky if we spend any more than 20 minutes in the car or stroller but he won’t go to sleep and just starts arching his back and protesting. We keep pretty close to home or get a babysitter if we have to go out. Once we took a “porta-cot” along to put him to bed in the evening which worked but took a little adjusting however there are places where that’s just not practical. As a result, I rarely take my 3.5 year old to swimming lessons, playgroup, Mom’s group, etc and feel like he’s missing out because we have to be home for his brother’s naps. I tried to put him to sleep in his stroller using his same routine at playgroup and it was a disaster. I ended up having to nurse him and cuddle him to sleep because he was so overtired and then he woke immediately when I tried to transfer him to his stroller. Any suggestions?
I just wanted to say I have the same problem(?). It’s so great that they are such great sleepers at home but it’s horrible that they won’t fall asleep anywhere else even for the occaisional family visit. My family only sees cranky overtired baby not the happy smiley baby I know because she gets so tired from not napping out of the house.
Hi Dana!
I’m sure you’ve had this question before…..
We have finally taught our little one to sleep by himself or with minimum assistance (patting/singing) for most sleeps. He is now almost 9 months old and is sleeping most nights from 7pm to about 5.30am. The wake up time in the morning is our problem – he wakes around the 5 – 5.30am mark and it is very hard and sometimes impossible to get him to back to sleep without tons of crying. I put him down for his morning sleep at around 9-9.30am. It is hard to get him to stay up till 9am but I have read that that is important so do it. Lately I have been breast feeding him around the 5.30am – 6am mark to try and get him back to sleep but that isn’t working either. He tends to just get more awake and then starts the day from there. Any advice?
Many thanks in advance,
Melissa
ps – his two day sleeps are rarely longer than one hour and ten minutes each but he seems to cope pretty well with this amount.
How do I get my baby to do over night trips and still sleep through the night and do his naps in a foreign location? We tried staying in a hotel once and ended up having to return home at 3am b/c he woke up and wouldn’t be consoled back to sleep.
How do I take my baby on overnight trips and ensure that he’ll still take his naps and sleep through the night at a foreign location? We tried to stay in a hotel with him once and ended up having to leave at 3am and drive home because he woke up and could not be consoled back to sleep.
i forgot to say he goes to be no problem every night at 7pm ish.
Thanks
Reece often wakes at 5.30am. I try to get him back to sleep but he wakes again when i put him in his cot. Other times he’ll sleep to 6.30. No pattern at all. He’s 18 months. Thanks
Reece has one nap per day for one hour
My baby is 1 year old and since birth she startles herself awake, almost with a pattern consistency. her pediatrician and a nuerologist only suggest melatonin or butter in rice cereal. The issue is not her falling asleep, its staying alseep. I cant see why she does this so often to wake up. Its ever single night, and every signle nap. Can you offer any help or suggestions?
My 7 years old daughter still having problems to sleep by herself. She goes to be very late and although we have a routine for her she still wants me or her dad to be in bed with her until she falls sleep.
The routine is very simple. After the bath, she reads to me for about 30 minutes (she seems sometimes really tired as she read) after that, we let her watch T.V for 30 minutes; then we read a book to her for about 30 minutes (her dad or me) and after that we turn the lights off and wait with her until she felts sleep that sometimes can take her one hour an a half.
I know it is our fault since we spoiled her to much and she does not know how to settle herself to sleep. We talk to her and told her we think she is ready to sleep by herself but still have problems trying to do it. I reward every little progress but we are not there. What should I do??
thank you for your attention
my grandaughter is 21/2 and still sleeping in bed with her mommy and dad. how do they breadk this habit.
Hi Dana,
We finally got our 15 month son to fall asleep at night without some of the ‘props’ (nursing, rocking), though he still uses his pacifier. The problem is that he only sleeps for about 3 hours intervals and then awakens and we have to soothe him back to bed. This usually involves laying him down and patting him, and if nothing else works, nursing him. The longest stretch he has ever slept was 6.5 hours (and that only happened once when he was extremely exhausted). Any suggestion on how I can help him sleep for longer stretches?
Hi there, my son is now 1 year old. And what a year, He is doing so well. The first 4-5 months were pretty tough though. I committed to helping him to learn to self settle but it just wasn;t as easy as that. There was his food sensitivity to soy milk (I’m gluten and dairy intolerant) and then there was his sensitivity to zuchini, which caused so may sleep problems dispite the fact that he absolutley enjoyed eating it. And his tendency to fall in to bad habits easily. Like when he got a cold this winter and woke from his blocked sniffling nose and his teeth giving him grief. When he was better again he just kept waking anyway, I guess because thats what we were doing for a week while he was sick. He ahd to be left to self settle himself….no matter how desperate the cries seemed.
It’s so great when things are great and it’s tough when there are other ‘real’ factors sneaking in and it’s hard when there are bad habits that are learnt so quickly.
With each new factor, I learn a little more about our beautiful son. How fragile he can be, how strong he is, and how absolutley forgiving he is.
I love him so.
My husband and I borrowed the Sleep Sense book from a friend. Our 6 month old son had been sleeping through until about 2-3, waking and then I would feed him and he would go back to sleep no problem. We started with the sleep sense when he started waking two to three times a night, once even before midnight. His bedtime is and was between 7-8. We followed the Sleep Sense Program and the first night it took him 1/2 hour to get to sleep on his own. He woke up twice and we soothed him back to sleep quite quickly. The second, third and fourth night he went to sleep in under 10 minutes and didn’t wake at all. Now the past two nights he has woken at 3 am and I’ve left him to see if he can go back to sleep but his cries become very insistent. I go in but there is nothing wrong with him. He keeps getting up on all fours. (He can crawl but it’s not on all fours, more like a combat crawl.) It has taken me 2 hours both nights to get him back to sleep. He is getting so upset. I’ve given him water and gripe water. He just seems so sad and he’s not a crier so it’s really upsetting me. He screams and wails and sobs. I had to pick him up and sing to him which calmed him for a bit but then he will push against me so I put him down and he just rolls around and sobs. For the last 1/2 he makes little peeps every now and then and sometimes that starts him up again…. HELP! I was finally getting a full night’s sleep and now I’m more sleep deprived than I was before!!
Hi Dana
I live alone with my 2.5 years old son. When I changed his crib for a toddler’s bed (that he can get out of) he started coming into my bed and spend part of the night sleeping with me.
As time passed by, he came earlier and earlier, and now, he sleeps in his bed (no issue to put him to bed in the evening) a few hours and comes in my bed at about 1AM every night.
I would like to change this habit back to him sleeping all night in his own bed. I tried last night, by promising a reward if he spent the full night in his bed, but that didn’t work. I took him back to his bed when he came, but he cried and I had to stay with him a couple of hours until he fell asleep again (he was watching whether I was still with him, grabbing me to make sure I was!)
Can you give me any advise on how to change this habit? I’m aware he is too big now to co-sleep with mummy, but I also know it’s going to be a big change, so, not sure how to handle it.
Many thanks in advance for your precious help.
Marie
Loved this article video from Dana because my second bub 5 months is a great sleeper in his own cot, but I’m getting alot of grief from family and friends who expect me to drag him here, there and everywhere and wonder why I’m not too social with him at the moment! Dana, after feeling down all last week you’ve just lifted my spirits about putting his needs first and I feel great now!! :) His time in the big world isn’t far off, let him slumber!
Couldnt agree more! I’ve also experienced the same and been left feeling like an over cautious pedantic mother. Sleep time and baby routines are sacred in our house; we still socialise but it’s within these routines. They’re young for such a short time
My son is 11 months old and has been sleeping well since he was about 5 months old. He goes to daycare and takes two naps during the day. At daycare he naps for about 1.5 to 2 hours. However, for the past couple weeks, on the weekends at home he’s only been napping for an hour or less. How can I get him back to napping longer?
My son is 11-months old and has been sleeping well since he was about 5 months old. He goes to daycare and has two naps about an hour and half to two hours. however on the weekends for the past couple of weeks, he’s only been napping for about an hour or less with each nap. How can I get him to go back to taking longer naps?
Dear Dana,
My almost 17 month old daughter Kara used to put herself to sleep pretty well and stay asleep most nights. In fact, it used to be a rare occasion when she would wake and need me to come tuck her back in. Lately something has drastically changed and I’m not sure what has caused the sudden change in her sleep. She isn’t as easy to put down anymore. She trys to cling to me when I go to put her in her crib and cries as soon as I put her down. If I give her some time she’ll usually settle down but wakes up crying frantically at least two times throughout the night. I can’t figure out what has happened. I’m tired and frustrated. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. Thank you.
Hi Dana,
I have a 9 month old boy, Quinn. Lately we have been having difficulties getting him to sleep if I’m (his mum) in the room. He is fine to go off to sleep if Dad puts him to bed. I tried to put him to bed the other night and he started off well, my husband said that he was playing with his comforter just as he does for him and behaving the same way. However, after about 10 mins he started to cry and stand up in the cot and not settle down to sleep. My husband ended sitting between my babies cot and myself and then Quinn settled off to sleep because he couldn’t see me.
We often find that when taking him up to bed he is reaching out for me and pushing my husband away. Especially for instance when he has been put to bed and starts to cry and stand up in his cot. He just seems to want to be cuddled by me but then he will only settle down and go to sleep for dad.
My husband has been going into him during the night for the past few weeks if he wakes up. Quinn generally sleeps through most nights. As a couple of weeks ago if I went in, it would take him 2 hours to settle down to sleep. We just aren’t game….
Do you have any ideas? Is it ok for me to put him down and leave the room – I have read somewhere that breaks his trust in me?
Thanks,
Jenni
My toddler (18 months) is asleep by 7 but wakes between 5am-6am – more likely 5:30am since at least 8mos. We tried putting to bed later/earlier – it made no diff. We also leave him in bed till 6, but sometimes we find he’s done a monster poop and feel bad. He’s only ever gone back to sleep a handful of times. There are no lights/sun/sounds to wake him. Now we have a 6 week old boy who sleeps fairly easily all day and night but wakes up and cries inconsolably every night at 6pm-9ish – we’ve tried clustered feeding, I nurse every 3 hours during day. It takes everything for my husband and I to settle him. is it gas? Hunger? Overtired? Separation anxiety? He rarely takes pacifier… Is our social life over because of night owl and early morning riser? It’s starring to feel depressing…
parents are far too selfish these days.. if you want a social life dont have children.. its only a short time you have to sacrafice.. youre babies need you.. give up the social life for just a while.. i think leaving babies with babysitters is cruel..
My two year old daughter has slept through the night since she was born until now. I put her to bed at 8 and she at first screams and cry for the First ten minutes once she calm down she plays in her room till 10-11 sometime in the middle of the night she climbs in my bed and falls back to sleep. Is this a bad thing to not put her back to bed? Any suggestions on how to make her go to bed at a decent hour? She takes naps at day care and I can’t tell the provider not to because this is her lunch hour. Help!
My 11-week old is really fighting sleep every day during naptime and when I know she needs it. Her eyes will be closed (after having been awake all morning), but she sill wimpers and cries.
I put her down in her crib well before she should be tired so she can learn to fall asleep -and it worked for a few days. But now she fights it until she finally goes to sleep out of sheer exhaustion, and then she sleeps for 3-4 hours.
Am I just expecting too much out of her little self?
My 2 year old grandson won’t sleep thru the night, although he would until he taught himself how to “escape” from the room. When he wakes up, he thinks everyone should wake up. How can we teach him to not get up unitl it’s morning when he can’t tell time?
My sister got a clock which has a red light on it for during the night and lights green for the time you say they can get up ie 6.30-7 and you set the clock for that time. So even though they don’t know the time they can see the colour and red means no to coming out of his room. Might help..
Anyone have an idea where I can find such a clock? This is just what I’ve wanted but couldn’t find!
My 9 month old will not stay asleep past 20 mins if I am not holding him. How do I get him to sleep on his bed or play pen?
One of the twins has so much energy just before going to bed, he turns and rolls around trying to find a comfortable position but this may take about 1 hour or sometimes longer. During the day he may take one nap but the same situation happens for the nap. During the night he wakes up crying for something to drink and this may happend 2 times. What do you suggest?
I am not sure my daughter, who is five months old, knows how to put herself to sleep yet. She is not using the Binkie anymore or being swaddled. She has a very very difficult time napping. the second I lay her down in her crib for a nap she screams. She screams so much that her voice becomes hoarse. She cries for so long I give up and go and get her. At bedtime she is so tired that she falls asleep during the bottle. I have no idea how to make naptime easier for her. I am going back to work in two weeks and my mother is watching her. I want her to be better at napping for m
My baby is an excellent sleeper, we eat, play and then sleep in that order all the time. she is 5.5 mos old 14lb and 26inches she is very active sits on her own for a month, stands with assistance since 3mos. she goes to bed at 730 and sleeps till 10 eats, then eats at 330am and back at 7am. However, 2 weeks ago she slept the whole night 3 nights in a row had a teeth come through the next day and now she wakes at 830pm wants a feed, 1030 wants a feed, 130 wants a feed, 330 wants a feed and 630am. What is going on? I try to console her, usually 130 i dont feed her but have to at 330 or i would be up at 430, 530 and 6am. What is happening to my baby and what can i do?
Also, other than a soother, she has no props, i put her in her crib and she goes to sleep but once a week we attend an evening meeting at 730pm and she is in her carseat, she has trouble settling down to sleep. what can we do,leaving her at home isnt an option
Hi, we’ve rocked our 15 month-old twin boys to sleep since birth. I don’t particularly mind it, as I feel it’s the only one-on-one time I have with them during the day, and they sleep through the night and take good naps when we do so. But I’m home alone during the day and one is of course left screaming gated in the playroom while I Pyrrha other down and it’s miserable. They are in separate rooms. We have tried training in the past with miserable results. They are strongwilled. I am finally ok with letting them cry now that they are older. Should I just end nap routine with placing each of them in their cribs and walk away and let the
CIO? This has resulted in poor naps for both and a very miserable day for me in the past but I’m willing to try again. Sa
E with bedtime too? Although I will miss that special time.
Thanks !!
My 1yr old co- sleeps with me. He needs to nurse to sleep; however sometimes he tries to sleep on his own, switching back n forth between nursing a few minutes & then not, or nursing first then rolling around with his teddy, until he drifts off. He continues to wake several times thru the night, where i wait a few minutes bfore soothing him; i used the modified CIO method once but he cried until he vomitted. Any advice is appreciated. Thx.
The 1st time I did the CIO method my son vomited 3 times! Babies/children have a VERY sesitive gag reflex and this is expected the older they get. there is a video on this in the archives look it up it really helped me.
My son is going to be 6 months old this week and is still getting up 2 or 3 times a night – I am still nursing and have been nursing him when he wakes up because he eats everytime he does wake up but he is still half asleep because as soon as he is done nursing he is already zonked out. Thinking about weaning to formula because then I feel I’ll know that he is getting enough to eat during the day and would feel more comfortable letting him cry it out at night – is that a bad idea?
Hi Michelle,
Your son is probably getting up because he knows he will get fed. Or the only way he knows to get to sleep is to nurse. Even if you give him formula he will still wake up for that. As long as you are drinking lots of water to keep yourself hydrated he is getting enough to eat from you. Think of it like this… if he is drinking 6-8 ounces per feed you need to drink at least that much in water just to produce that milk. It will be a rough couple of nights to let him cry it out, but will be worth it in the end. Good Luck.
What I do is I pump before I go to sleep, and get bottles propared. That way I know how much my baby ate. I think the longer baby is on breast milk the healthier she’ll be…
With my kids, when I decided to start weaning them from night feedings I would have my husband check on them at the times other than when I would nurse. They know they won’t get fed if you nurse and dad checks on them. After a couple weeks they weren’t expecting to nurse and I could then check on them again.
My son Jordon Asher will be one on thursday. He sleeps very well at night and takes 1-3 naps a day lasting 30 minutes to 2 hours. He has changed this in the last 2 weeks though. He is going in for surgery on monday to correct his lambdoid synostosis and I’m worried this will cause problems while he’s at the hospital in recovery. Do you have any suggestions on how to help him get back to his regular schedule? My mother in law and her brother keep telling me I’m not doing anything right from feedings to putting him down for sleep. He’s a big one year old about as big as a 3 year old. And his doctor says he’s reaching his milestones early or on time and that he’s not obese. But the critisism is getting to me and my husband. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
still Connie wakes in the night and stays awake for quite a while, i am so tired
My daughter has a medical condition that fluctuates on a daily and weekly basis. At certain times depending on the levels of medication she is very sleepy and other times she is in discomfort and cannot sleep. She is 6 months old and this will be her reality for the rest of her life. Is there anything I can to do help give her good sleep habits? I remember with my other girls I would excuse bad sleeping when they were teething (although realistically they were teething for months on end!!) or sick.
I have a 7 mth old who is a great sleeper. She wil sleep where ever we put her down at, however, my problem is, she uses a dummy and at different times throughout the nite it falls out n she starts 2 cry. What wod u recommend we do?
My son did this to and I am trying to get my daughter not to use a passy (she is 10 wks) My personal opinion is stick it out, try to get her to put it back in her mouth durring the day and she will do it at night. I put 5 pacifiers in my sons crib at night and he always found one after a few min of crying. After a while (a week or so) it was very rare that he didn’t find one on his own maybe like once every 2 weeks or so I would have to go in his room and find one. Now he is 2 and I have one on a pacifier clip attached to his pillow and he automatically reaches for it with out even opening his eyes. Your daughter is at the age where she should be able to put it back in her mouth on her own, and if she is not there now she will be soon.
My 9.5 month old son has been sleeping through the night since he was about 4 months old. Since he started on 2 naps about 2 months ago, he has been very predicatble doing a 1h and a 2h nap most days. Suddenly he seems to have forgotten how to sleep happily. He first challenged me with standing up at bed time. I battled with him for 2-3 days, relentlessly lying him back down until he stayed down then leaving him to go to sleep. He now stays lying down and is calm as I put him into bed, draw the curtains and give him all his word cues for sleep time, until I reach the door when he starts to panic. I reassure him all is ok and continue to reassure him as i leave and then from outside the door until he calms down. This seems to be working, however for his naps now, he wakes with a 1-5min cry at every 30 min cycle, which he never used to do. Sometimes he doesn’t go back to sleep, and after 10-15 minutes of crying I give up and go get him. And for overnight sleeps, he stirs 3-4 times every night. Mostly he puts himself back to sleep, but on the occasion that we do go in when the crying escalates and goes for longer than 10 minutes, it takes almost 2h to settle him. This has all coincided with huge developmental changes in him so i wonder if it’s related tot hat? If so, how can I help him learn that it’s ok to go to sleep on his own and that even though we leave him, he is not on his own, as we are just next door.
hi Monique,
I’m no sleep expert for sure, but the one thing I can tell you, just from talking to friends with children in various ages, is that you THINK you got their sleep pattern all figured out, and then they change it on you! similar thing happened with my daughter, so I stopped going in when her cry escalated, and found that within 3-5 minutes it got better and then stopped as she faded into sleep. once your son figures out that escalating his cry will bring you in to his room, he’ll always do that, so maybe try to leave him be for a few days and see how that works? maybe just listen by his door to make sure he’s not choking or throwing up (anyway, you probably wouldn’t want to let him SCREAM his head off for more than 15-20 minutes). hope this bit helps. GOOD LUCK!
Hi Monique,
I too have a 9.5 month old who started giving me a hard time about a month ago after sleeping through the night since 4.5 months. Because he started waking up after being such a good sleeper, I figured something was wrong and I tried everything to calm him for an hour, but nothing work until I fed him. Then he went back to sleep fine. Well he continued this for a week and I was exhausted because I also have a toddler (3 in October). Anyways, we had used the Sleep Sense book with our toddler when he was a baby and it seriously made all the difference between being a stressed out mom and loving parenthood. So when I looked back at the book I reread how they will always test the waters now and again. The next few nights my husband and I slept on the couch so that the little one would figure out to get back to sleep on his own. He cried A LOT the first night, but less and less each night after. He didn’t even wake our toddler, which we were prepared for. Since then he has been doing good at night, but randomly fusses at naps when I put him down. If I know he is tired, has a full belly, and dry diaper I feel comfortable just giving him a kiss and leaving the room to let him know that he has to get to sleep on his own. Hope this helps!
HI at 9.5 mos. he is more aware of things so he wakes up and wonders where you are and calls out. You should go in real quick just to check the first 2 or 3x, and reposition him if necessary but just pick up if you need to but don’ t carry him! And leave promptly even if he is still crying as long as you know nothing is wrong; than he will settle himself back to sleep on his own which again is a learned skill that he obviously already has so don’t start a habit! Again he’s just more aware now bc of his age so if you want to maintain his sleeping through the night skills let him cry!
Sahara seems to be really unsettled from 6pm-9pm. not sure why. She doesn’t want to feed, she is burped, nappys changed – what else…. my husband thinks her tummy is sore so we give her water but still she is very upset. What is happening what can I do???
thanks
I got to say, that’s exactly what my baby does. My baby is 4 1/2 months old, though she is a preemie. She was born at 30 weeks of pregnancy. Me and my husband have tried everything too. I always though it was because she is a preemie, and her tummy is more sensitive. Did you have a stressful pregnancy ???
Sounds like she’s tired. Try putting her to bed earlier. Our baby used to fuss during that time but now we put him to bed earlier and he is fine. He is now asleep by 6pm every night.