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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
Is your baby REALLY hungry during the night… or is she using you as a “pacifier” to get back to sleep?
A question came in from Mel who writes:
“My three and a half month-old had been settling herself down for the night, waking for a feeding at about 1 a.m. and then sleeping through until 7 a.m. But recently she’s been going to bed at 7 o’clock, waking up at 9:30, 12:30 and 4:00, and then getting up at 7 a.m. Other than her waking, nothing else has changed. I’ve been getting up to breastfeed her and she’ll go back to sleep quickly. Should I keep feeding her or try to see if she’ll go back to sleep without it?”
I always say that if a baby once slept through the night, there’s no reason why she cannot do it again. Sometimes the consistency comes from you, the parent, just being consistent. If there’s no other reasons for her waking up during the night, I would hold her to her normal schedule of waking only once for a feed.
What can happen is the baby will think “Whenever I wake up and let out a few cries, someone comes and feeds me.” It becomes a fast way for them to fall back to sleep. Since Mel’s baby falls asleep quickly after a feed, I think that she might be using either the breast or the bottle to fall back to sleep faster, not because she’s hungry.
Even if the baby is not nursing all the way back to sleep, she could be using the breast to get herself nice and dozy and drowsy before she lays back down in the crib and falls asleep.
My best advice is that Mel and the baby go back to what was working before; waking up around 1 a.m. for a feeding and a 1 a.m. feeding only.
The next time she wakes up at 9:30, before you go in give her five minutes to just see what she does. It could be just a partial arousal, which is really common in babies up to the first birthday. If it is indeed a partial arousal, she’ll probably cry for a couple of minutes and then go back to sleep. If that’s the case, the problem solved.
What if she goes on longer than five minutes? Then definitely check to make sure that everything is fine. Go in, remind her that “it’s sleepy time,” perhaps give her a quick, comforting hug, and then put her back in the crib. Stay with her until she goes back to sleep or leave and come back to check on her in five or ten minutes, whatever is most comfortable for you. Remember, you’re trying to get her back on track for just one feed a night.
At around 1 a.m., when the actual feeding time comes around, make sure she’s not using the breast or bottle as a way to get back to sleep. Take her out of the crib, sit up with her, and keep a close eye on her while she’s feeding. If you notice drowsy eyes or heavy blinking, give her a couple of pokes or call out her name to keep her awake and actively eating. Try to keep her as wide awake as possible for this feeding without using you as a way to fall back to sleep.
Like she was doing before, the 1 a.m. feed will be her only feeding until she wakes up at 7:00. Further down the road, once she’s sleeping through the night with no other feeds, really hold her to that schedule. Multiple feeds during the night can send your baby confusing messages. Pretty soon they’re not sure what’s supposed to happen and they’ll try all kinds of different things to figure it out.
Again, my best advice to Mel is to get back to just the 1 a.m. feeding and stick to it. And very soon, you and the baby will sleep well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
My Son is 8 months old.He is waking up 2-3 times.He starts to cry out aloud closing his eyes till he is fed. if i make him open his eyes,thn he’ll start to play and it wil take more than an hour to fall asleep.how to get him back to sleep without feeding,plz help.
My daughter is 7 mos old and has began waking 4-5 times a night to nurse over the past month. I have tried letting her cry for 10 min and then going to check on her reassuring she is okay, but as soon as I go in she gets more frustrated. When I put her to bed at night and for her naps she is awake and goes to sleep really well. She has cut her first tooth and the second one is coming, could this just be a phase? Since cutting her tooth she has also decided she does not want to eat any solids and will only breastfeed. Could she be hungry when she wakes or is she just looking for comfort?
Please help
My 7 month old baby will not sleep anywhere but in my bed. For the first 4 months she was sleeping just fine in her cot and sleeping through the night bar a couple of feeds. Now, she seems to feed all night and will not sleep in her cot without massive protest. Both my hubby and I are working and usually to tired to protest, but now its getting to the stage where my hubby has moved out of his bed. She has 3 naps per day, has a good bedtime routine, is being breast feed still. – Please help.
my son is 15 months old and he stills awakes throught the night anywhere from 2-4 times…he goes to sleep around 8:30-9 p.m. (I have also tried to get him to go to sleep earlier with no success), then awakes crying every couple hours later, and only will go back to sleep with his bottle. I am exhausted, I work full-time and I don’t know what to do about him waking these couple of times during the night… I have tried to ‘wait him out’ and this sometimes does work – he will cry a little then go back to sleep on his own with no bottle but the other times, he just continues to cry and get louder until I go to him and give him his bottle. Please help me break him from this habit !
There’s a bad habit I wish for my three and a half year old to break and that’s coming into my bed everynight.
Depending on how tired I am sometimes I don’t even hear her come in durning the night and when I wake up the next day she’s there.
I did, at first, start putting her back into her own bed but, over time, it’s become
exhausting waking up to six times a night sometimes.
This has been going on ever since I made the switch from her cot to her bed which was when she was a year old.
I thought it may have been because I am her only parent and she feels safe and secure when with me.
Her bedtime is normal 8pm. Her whole routine, dinner, bath, storytime then off to sleep ( in her own bed ) with the light on for five minutes and she is almost always asleep before those five minutes because she doesn’t like to fall asleep without any light and I don’t mind as its better for me as a single mum of three children.
How do I get her to stay in her own bed all night?
I do not even put my 5 months old son in a crib to sleep, I just let him sleep in the bed with me. I feel he is safer in the bed with me so I can check him right away if something is wrong or if he just cries. I just leave my breast out and he feeds during the night. I have to get up and switch sides of course but thats it. Am I doming myself to have a child that will always want to sleep with me? I have another son who is 5 yrs old and it was hard to get him out of my bed, but that was because he was scard to sleep in a room without me, not because of feedings. Sometimes I get off work at 1:00AM come home and my baby is still up waiting for me, then when I am ready for bed he is ready to feed and eventually go to sleep (which I usually do before he does) even if my husband feeds him a bottle he will want to feed from me before he goes to sleep and its not a 5 or 10 min feeding its 30 or more. Am I forming bad habbits that later on might be hard to break. I figure that maybe he will want to sleep in his older brothers room when he gets bigger am I just fooling myself?
My 22 month old twins were going to bed at night without issues. We have a very good night routine. They were sick about a month ago and have had night sleeping issues since. They cry, not just normal “I don’t want to go to sleep cries”, all out wailing screaming cries. This can last anywhere from 20 min to hours. We have tried different techniques, from just letting them cry to sitting by the bed and slowly moving to the door and sneaking out, but nothing has worked. When it lasts for hours and they don’t fall asleep until 10:00, they want to sleep in in the AM, which messes up the day schedule. What do we do?
My daughter will not sleep by herself. She is 4yo. So, I now have my daughter sleeping in my room on the floor in a sleeping bag, my infant son in bed next to me nursing and the hubby in the guest room. We need some major help in the sleep department. I feel I am a good Mom but with sleep I feel I have failed. I don’t want my now 2 mo son to be the same way. Unfortunately he nurses to sleep and will will not sleep unless he is in my arms or next to me in bed. HELP!
All the stories I read are about babies. Kiaria will be 3 September 1st. Can this work for her????
I am indeed a human pacifier, my son who is 6 months has been great at sleeping all night for about 6 weeks now. However the past week he has been sick and will fall asleep himself, infact yesterday I found myself putting him in his crip and leaning over the side to let him continue nursing until he went to sleep, it was only when I went down stairs that I kicked myself into touch, what was I thinking!!!Answer .. I wasn’t I just wanted to get him to sleep!! Help me please!
My son is 15 months old and was falling asleep on his own at 8 pm every night since he was about 8 months old but during the past few months or so he will not go to sleep on his own. I have tried everything to get him back into his routine but he just screams for hours. I did everything I did before to get him on the routine. Now I have to watch his naps closely and make him take a nap at exactly the right time during the day or he wants to stay up till 10 or 11 pm at night (at the earliest). Please help me I dont know what to do. I am a single working mother, who is expecting again and I am desperate to get him back on his routine. Any advice??
Hi Dana
My Daughter Rhianna is 2 1/2 has never slept that great but has got better as she has got older.She goes to bed at 7pm.
Recently she had a sickness & diarrhoea & started waking around 6am crying.She is now better but still wakes just after 6am still crying. She used to happily wake up & wait until i came into her.But now she wont have any of it.She is clearly still tired as she is grumpy.If she has a nap she only has 1/2 hour am i right in giving her that nap or shall i cut it out all together? please help.
Thanks Emma
We moved out 26 month old to a big boy bed, and we cannot get him to bed before 11pm. We start our bedtime routine at 8pm and it takes about 3 hours for him to actually fall asleep. He continuously gets out of bed and he finally goes to bed if one of us lays down with him and that’s after 2 – 3 hours of this process. How can we get him to go to bed ‘earlier’ and stay in bed?
My son is 20 months old and once asleep (about 7:30 pm) he sleeps well through the night until 6:30-7:00 am. My problem is, getting him to sleep initially. His bedtime routine includes a long bath, brushing teeth, pajamas, then he picks out a book, we read 2-3 books in his room in the rocker, he turns out his light himself, then I sing and we rock awhile. I put him in his crib awake where he proceeds to immediately jump up, scream and cry. I tell him “good night, I love you” and I leave, allowing him to cry and fall asleep. Sometimes it takes 15 minutes, sometimes 45 minutes or more! I hate that he has to cry himself to sleep, but I also cannot spend all night in his room rocking and holding him. I have considered converting the crib into a toddler bed, which would allow him to get into bed himself, rather than being PLACED in the crib by me. Maybe then he would feel a little more in control, more that going “Night Night” is his idea and not imposed by me. I could then sit by his bed while he settles down to sleep. What do you think? Do you think this is feasible plan? My son is extremely strong-willed and definitely would prefer to be rocked to sleep everynight, or to sleep with me. I am keeping him in his crib but I don’t feel good about him being so upset at bedtime. Of course in the morning he is his usual happy self. But I would like some ideas to make going to sleep less traumatic and tearful! Thank you, Julie (first-time Mom)
My daughter is thirteen months old and has never slept through the night. She wakes every two to three hours in the night and wants to nurse. If I don’t nurse her immediately, she just cries. I have tried to put her to bed awake after nursing, but she just cries and cries. She cried for an hour and fifteen minutes once before I finally picked her up. That was at eight months old. After that, I gave up trying to put her in bed awake as I don’t want to leave her crying in her crib for that long. She cried until she was almost hyperventilating. Other than bedtime she is an extremely happy, well behaved baby. Could I just have an extremely stubborn child?
Your input would be appreciated! I have a 3 month old who has just started to fall asleep on his own at his usual bedtime of 8:00 after he is given a 5 oz bottle. He sleeps till usually 12:00 and sometimes 1:00, if I am lucky. He then wakes and I usually feed him a 5oz bottle again and he only sleeps for a hour and a half to tow hours before waking again. And recently when I put him back in his crib after his feeding his growing and what not that usually leads to him falling asleep at 8:00 leads to hysterical crying and I have a real hard time getting him comfortable and to fall asleep again. It usually takes about 30 to 40 minutes. He then will wake again 2 hours later. I have tried everything to lengthen his night wakings but he just won’t not wake up every two hours. He takes about 3 naps a day for about a hour or so each and has also been falling asleep on his own, usually, for those. Any input or suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated!! I am having to go to bed at the same time my son does so I can get at least a little sleep but am missing having a life in the evenings with my husband!
Thank you!
My 6 month old has been sleeping through the night since he was about 3 months old. 8pm til 7am. But around 4 1/2 months, he started to wake up at 5am. and would not go back to sleep. I tried to rock him.. let him cry.. etc. So I just got him up for about 2 weeks, he did this and was miserable all day! So one day I brought him into bed with me when he woke at 5am, and he fell back to sleep til 7 or later. He has now been doing this since. I dont want him to stay on this schedule of coming into my bed.. but I want him to get his sleep! When he gets his night time sleep, hes in a much better mood, takes better naps..etc. WHAT DO I DO!!!!???
My 12 month old little girl Summer has started waking in the night for no apparent reason. I go in to tuck her back in but she crys even more and becomes hysterical. I try to give her a hug which usually calms her down but she continues to scream. I have actually, over the past few nights put her on my breast to sooth her, which i find annoying as she has not been having breast during the night for over 6 months, so why is she suddenly doing this? Could it be a sign of teething? She already has 6 teeth, so i guess it could be the case but i find it strange as she does not seem to be having any teething pains during the day and i have checked her gums and there does not seem to be any redness to show any new teeth coming through. Could you please give me some advice on this and some things to try? I feel as if i am going backwards as she had been really good with sleeping through the night and had finally began to settle really well at night. But now this is a real backward step.Thank you.
My son is 4 months old.I’ll put him to sleep by 7-8 pm.He’s waking up twice in night by 2.45 am and by 6 am.I’ll not use diaper during sleep,so he’ll be fussing whenever he pisses.i’ll change him.After passing 3 times he’ll feel hungry,once i feed(without talking to him,as he’s very talkative)he’ll fall asleep.And he’ll sleep for 10.30 hrs in nite.Is it fine r any changes req? Also how many hrs do he need to nap in morning?
Hello, my 17month old girl has a slleping problem that we fixed at around 15months. Then in the last month she has been testing me. She goes to be at 8:30- 9:30. will sleep till 11pm and then wakws up when mommy and daddy go to bed. I lay her back down and it right back up in 15min. Last night she did this every 15 mins. She doesn’t take really good naps durning the day so I know that she is tired at night. I really don’t know what to do. I think that she is just playing with my husband and I at night. How do I get this to stop? Please help. If you need more info just ask. Thanks Jennifer
Hi Dana,
Need to ask you this ,I know I am being used as my darling baby boys Pacifier.BUT I feel like this is what he needs and it would break my heart to say no to him.I know that there would be other m others out there who would feel the same how do you make yourself feel okay with not cuddling your baby to sleep or cuddling and feeding them when they wake in the night and you are all they want like they fear the rest of the world.I am torn I really need sleep as Parker is 61/2 months old and wakes all night atleast every 2 hours or more BUT like I said I feel so terrible not to give him all he needs and wants. HELP !! Thanks Jade
My nine week old started waking up once a night for a feed, while sleeping in my bed. This lasted only one week until decided to transition her to her bassinet. Now she gets up every two-three hours to nurse for 5 minutes and goes back to sleep. Is she really hungry? Last night she slept in her car seat (only because we were out late) and slept for 7 hours straight. Is my little one pulling one on me?
I have a 2 1/2 year old who will not go to bed untill about 10pm and is waking up between 6 and 7am. He only has a nap for about half an hour, which we have tried to stop but he will just keel over about 3pm and sleep wherever he is. He is at nursery and is constantly running about even up to 10pm – he never stops! He has no sweet/sugary snacks and still drinks milk from a bottle at night and in the morning, please help! Thank you.
I have 15 month old daughter, she is waking up to 3 times in night and did not sleep without breastfeeding also she need breastfeeding for her day time naps. i tried lot of things to quit breastfeeding but she cries horribly in night and that can be a real trouble to my neighbours as she cries in very high pitch.i m in dam trouble bcause of this and want to get rid off as soon as possible pls suggest some way.
I am 28 weeks pregnant and Xavier is now 21 months. I just finished breast feeding Xavier last month and he is very attached to me. He goes to sleep in his own room in his cot no later than 8pm, but wakes every night at midnight/1am and comes into my bed for the remainder of the night. I have tried to leave him in his cot but he constanly cries and wants to know that “mamma’s here”. I am very tired and am still working so bringing him to my bed has been the easiest way for me to get a little sleep to keep going. What can I do to get Xavier to stay in his cot as I am concerned that when I have the new baby it will become impossible.
Thanks for your help.
Hi Dana! Hope you can help! I have a 15 month old who has a hard time falling asleep without me or my husband being in the room. Although he sleeps through night, the putting him to sleep part is always a difficult task. We use to be able to place him in his crib and walk out of the room, then he would just eventually fall asleep with no issues. Now when i put him in his crib and try to walk away, he freaks out and begins to cry. Surroundings have not changed nor have we taken anything away from his room. I feel like, instead of a human pacifier, we’re his human security “blanket”. Any advice other than the cry it out method you would suggest? Thanks in advance!
I have a 6 month old who is addicted to swaddling! She has always been a very good sleeper. I lay her down at night while she is still awake so she is able to sooth herself to sleep. We use the Miracle Blanket to swaddle her. I have tried other types of blankets including the sleep sacks. If she gets an arm out of the blanket, she will wake herself up and the sleep sack did not work at all. When she does wake up I will run into the room, which she shares with her sister, reswaddle her and give her the pacifier. She is not yet rolling from her back to her tummy. But, I am wanting to break her of the swaddle before she begins rolling over. I lay her in between the triangle wedges because I am afraid that if she were to roll over, her arms would be pinned because she is swaddled. Do I need to worry about transitioning her out of the “swaddle” and if so, how? Help? Thanks!
I have started putting my 2 1/2 month old baby boy to bed by 8pm everynight and trying to have a bedtime schedule for the past couple of weeks now. Right after I started we went on vacation and I was putting him to bed by 8pm and he would go straight to sleep for 5hrs and wake up for a feeding at 1am and go right back to sleep for about 3 to 4 hrs and want to eat again between 4am & 5am and go back to sleep til 7am or 8am. Well, since we have been home from vacation he goes to bed by 8pm and wakes back up after an hour wanting to eat again and then goes back to sleep. But he then wakes back up at 1am, 3 to 4am & 6am to eat. So he is waking up more now than normal. I also am starting to bring him to bed with me around 5am because I can’t get him to sleep in his own bed, and once we go to our bed he will sleep til 8 or 9 am. Also he is starting to give me trouble with naptimes. He will only sleep for 15 to 30 min at a time and wants to get up and play and then gets tired again after about 20 or 30 minutes and does the same thing again, sleeps for 15 to 30 min. Finally once I give in and lay down with him for the whole nap he will sleep for 2 to 3 hrs., and at the beginning he will hold onto me and opening his eyes making sure I am still there for the first few minutes before he goes on to sleep. Naptimes used to not be a problem and now they are. Is there a reason for this sudden change? Do you think he is hitting a growth spurt and thats why he is not doing as well now? Why does he sleep at longer intervals with me sleeping with him?
Hi there, I am tired and frustrated! My son will be 20 months at the end of July. He has been a reasonable good sleeper for the last months. He does not have a dummy or bottle to fall asleep with and falls asleep on his own in his crib. However the last weeks he has been walking up around 12 am, crying and wanting to go into our bed. We have let him a couple of times as we were so tired. When he sleeps with us none of us get a good sleep as he fitgets and tosses all night. Last night we let him cry for 2 hours to the point of me being in tears as well. What can i do, i have tried going in his room every 10 min to settle him but 2 hours later this still had not paid off. He is sooooo persistent.
What can i do as we are all exhausted.
thanks Judith
Hi, My 6 month old son is waking three times plus in the night. He has recently been sick with meningitis and was in hospital for one week. While is hospital I would feed him when he woke because it seemed to be the only thing that could settle his pain from the sickness. The Doctors told me to give him another two weeks after his medication stopped before he should be feeling better and have no pain. I now believe that he has no pain and that the waking has become a habit and he finds it comforting to feed when he wakes. How do I get him out of this habit? I am exhausted from being up all night and need to make some changes… Thanks
HI ……………………DEAR DANA………
FIRST I WD LIKE TO THANK U FOR GREAT ADVICESCONCERNING MY BABY BOY.MY BABY PUNEET IS 3 MONTHS AND ONE WEEK OLD .FROM ONE MONTH HE IS SLEEPING ALONE IN HIS CRIB .HE SLEEPS AT 11 OR 10.30 AT NIGHT AND WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AFTER 6 O”CLOCK.HE THROUGHS HIS LEGS AND ARMS A LOT DURING HIS SLEEPSN SNORS A LOT .IS IT A SERIOUS MATTER?PLEASE GUIDE ME
REGARDS FROM MY SIDE
ROOP
My baby fights sleep. My baby would become very grouchy when tired and it was very difficult to get her to go to sleep. I began soothing her to sleep an hour after she woke from each nap and putting her to bed between 6 and 7 each night and this worked beautifully for about 5 days. I have maintained the system and watch carefully for sleepy cues, but she resists sleep while growing increasingly fussy. If I get her to fall asleep, she only sleeps for about a half hour and is grumpy because she is still tired. Night time sleep is not a problem. She sleep at least 7 hours most nights. Help!!!
I have a 2 year old and lately she has been coming in the middle of the night to our bed. When i take her back into her room she cries. I pick her up about 6:45 pm. Then I take her home and feed her dinner. So she ends up going to sleep after 9 pm. We don’t know what to do any more. All she wants is to sleep with mommy and daddy. Sometimes she doesn’t cry when she wakes up, she just climbs into our bed and goes to sleep. So we have no idea she is there until one of us wakes up and sees her sleep next to us. What can we do, please help us!
My 14 year old daughter has never slept throughout the night. It is mainly my fault as I have let her feed from me in the middle of the night just so we can all get back to sleep. She is capable of falling asleep without me as her Dad puts her to bed in the evening with success. She then lasts about 7 hours and is wide awake. The only way I can get her back to sleep is to breastfeed. She appears to not require a huge amount of sleep. This often does not cause us an issue as we all sleep pretty well, although she always ends up in our bed. I need to kick this habit for her sake.
My son will be 1 yr. old next week. When he was 5-6 months old he slept in his crib, but lo and behold, he began teething! He didn’t want to be back in his crib, so we gave in and he sleeps with us. Yes, he’s still with us. I, too breastfeed him, but the doctor said that he should be sleeping through the night, and that has yet to happen. He often wakes up at night for feeding, and sometimes I can hear him do the “sucking” sound with his lips, so I nurse. Sometimes he nurses for 2 min. or as long as 20 mins! I’m tired, restless and most of time sleepy!
my 9 mo old can and will cry for over 4 hrs straight if i do not nurse him back to sleep every time he wakes up. he wakes up about 6-7 times per night. it’s not fun, but i have tried EVERYTHING! and i’ve been consistent for what i consider to be long enough (2 weeks of letting him cry), but after a few days the amount of time he ends up awake at night because of the crying throws everything off and it only gets worse. he won’t eat breakfast in the morning cause he’s then too tired and will finally fall asleep. then he’ll sleep for several hours instead of just one or two sleep cycles….etc etc. he’s my second boy and the first one was the same. could easily cry for over 4 hrs before falling asleep exhausted. it gets to the point that the hysteria begins when i just walk in the bedroom with him to put him to bed. my olider boy didn’t sleep through the night until 3 yrs old!!! i can’t bear to wait that long again!!! but i can’t keep letting my baby cry for SO long!!
I have the same problem as Andrea. My daughter is 9 1/2 months and does the exact same thing. She will wake anywhere from 3-5 times a night, and the only way she will go back to sleep is if I nurse her. I have never given her a bottle so I am the only thing she is use to. I have tried bedtime routines and nothing works. I try for hours to get her to sleep at night. I am a first time mother and my husband is so busy he sometimes isn’t home to help with the bedtime routine. She has slept through the night before at about 3 months and hasn’t in awhile. Please help I would just like to get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep.
Hi Dana,
My 14 month-old son is a really early riser. He generally wakes at about 5h30 after being put down at about 19h30 the night before. Sometimes he wakes at 4h30 or 5h00 though! I do realise that this is 10 hours worth of sleep, but shouldn’t he be sleeping a little longer at this age? Is there any hope of my husband and I ever getting to sleep beyond 6am in the morning? Also, over the last week or two my son has had episodes of restlessness at night – sometimes waking every hour. He generally sleeps right through with perhaps just one waking a night, but is easily soothed back to sleep. I am not quite sure what has caused this sudden disruption in his sleep, but it is very tiring. He is not ill, but some people have suggested that it may be due to teething of the fact that he has started walking in the last month or so. What do you think? As soon as I go to his room and pick him up he is fine. He allows me to put him back into his cot and falls asleep easily enough, but is then awake a short while later.
A few general points – he sleeps well during the day with two naps of about an hour to an hour and a half. In general, he falls asleep pretty easily and generally puts himself to sleep – sometimes we just have to stand at the cot for a little while. He has a great appetite and still has two bottles a day – day and night. He has his bottle about half an hour before going to bed and about half an hour after waking in the morning.
Thanks in advance.
Kim – South Africa
Firstly, let me say how fantastic your sleep sense program is. I recommend it to all the mums in my group. We love it. My question is about sleeping being affected by toilet training. Our son is 20mths old and still in his cot. Do we have to change him to a toddler bed so he can get up to the toilet in the night? Should we go through that transition before tackling the toilet training or can we do all at once.. HELP! I really dont know how to get him into a toddler bed and keep him there. I would rather he stay in his cot as long as possible but it doesn’t seem to be an option with TT.
Thanks so much all your wonderful advise. Your E-book has helped us time and time again.
I have a 14 month old boy and I am trying to get him to sleep in his cot without breastfeeding as he won’t have a sippy cup for bed and refuses any cows or powder milk dummys or bottles. So this leaves me with very little to work with as he doesn’t have any attachment to anything or any one other than me. When I get him ready for bed an dmake him drowsy I put him in the cot and stay in the room with him till he falls asleep. The reaction from him is to scream untill he throws up! so I have to change the bedding at least three times a night. I have been doing some asossiation techniqes to get him used to his room and his cot but nothing seems to work. As I am going to start working soon I’ll need him to be in a routine so I can get some sleep. My partner is unavailable yto help me as he works in the day and is training to be a boxer in the evenings, and my and his relitives live on the otherside of England and there is no one around to help, so I have been doing this from the start on my own and I’m running low on energy.
I will be looking forward to you response.
Regards,
Violet Brown
I have a 15mnth old daughter who has been a shocking sleeper since birth! Ive tried the cry it out method but she got so upset and vomited everywere(never again). she wakes up to 3 times a night! ive tried giving her less and less milk each night in her bottle! i got down to 20ml and then she craked it! what other strategies could i try??????
I have 10 mth old who will not sleep unless breastfed and sleeping next to me. Becoming an all night feeder although only sucking. Tried all but nothing works if leave her to cry almost vomits so I cannot do this again. HELP!
My baby is 20 months and she keeps getting up 3 to 4 times in the night and woun’t go back to sleep untill she feeds on me. I have tried patting her but she gets too hysterical and cries a lot. I don’t know how to stop her from feeding on me. Please help.
Hi there! I think, there is nothing wrong on beeing a ,,human pacifier,,. This is the simplest and most natural thing I can do for my baby, good for her, good for me. I have a 13m old, and she sleeps trought the night since 6 month. Never used a dummy. She had times, when she was up every night every 2h and breastfeeding until ,,breastmilknarcosis,,, but those nights past, and what are couple of nights without proper sleep in a lifetime? Now she still sleeps with us in family bed usually, and often falls asleep on her own, but if she is overtired, or sick or unhappy for some other reason she choose to fall asleep while breastfeeding. In last months she started to ask to be put for sleep into her cot – and I believe, she is quite happy now to sleep in her cot on her own, that she know, any time she needs or wants, she can come back to her mum and dad
Dana,
PLEASE!!! I NEED HELP !!! My fifteen months old daughter just won’t sleep at night. She normally have a nap at 5.30pm and wakes up at 7-7.30 pm. I have discouraged that by playing with her and she sometimes sleeps at 8.30-9 pm or sometimes not at all. When she sleeps at 8.30-9 pm, she would always wake up at 10-11 pm and just won’t sleep !!!!She always goes to bed at 12-1.30am in the morning!!!! I have tried everything, letting her cry , soothing etc….I am doing something wrong???? It’s becoming very depressing!!!
I have a 16 month old who still gets up once or twice a night. I have tryed everything….what do I do. I feel bad right now too, cause she is getting three teeth so she has been getting up every three hours. I don’t let her cry now…cause I know she is in alot of pain…but I don’t want her to get used to that either. I don’t know what to do!! I am four months pregnant and tired and am sick in the mornings when I don’t get enough sleep.
My son is 8 months old and he is just learning how to put himself to sleep. Our problem is that he will stand up in his crib and I have to lay him down at least 2 times before he will go to sleep. My question is how do I get him to lie down without physically having to do it for him?
I really don’t have a problem with night sleep. But I do have a problem with nap time – most often she ends up going through the day without a nap no matter how many times we try to put her down. On occasion we wear her down and she eventually falls asleep and the length of the nap tells me that she really need to nap in the afternoon. I just need to be able to do it consistently without her resisting it so much.
My son is 9 months old and has been sleeping in bed with me. I stopped breastfeeding about 1 month ago. My husband works a night shift so I am alone in bed at night. I realize this is a bad habit and I would like to start putting him to sleep in his crib. I have put him to sleep in my bed and transfer him to the crib. This does not work anymore. Please, any suggestions? Thank you for all your wonderful advice. Rebecca
my daughter is 16 months old and she stills awakes throught the night three or four times or sometimes five times…she goes to sleep around 7:00 p.m., then, she wakes up like at 10:00 p.m., then at 1:30 a.m., then like at 3:30 a.m., then at 5:00, then at 6:00 a.m. and finally she wakes up totally at 7:00 a.m. and I am exhausted, I have to go to work (part time) while my husband works full time in the afternoon, but both of us are very tired, oh and every time I give her bottle, immediately she goes to sleep…please help me, I am pregnant again, and I don’t know what to do with my sleep…
I’ve been a human pacifier for about 11 months now!! My son, Zachary, goes to sleep well around 8:30, but then wakes and wants to eat around 1. Then he falls asleep and wakes again at 6 eats then sleeps again until 8 or 9. How do I communicate to him that the 1 am feeding is not ok, but the 6 am one is ok. I feel like I am sending him mixed messages if I let him cry at 1 and then get him at 6 and yet he still goes back to sleep after the 6 am feeding. Should I make him get up and start his day at 6 so that he know that is why he is allowed to eat? But, I don’t know if I’m willing to give up those extra 2-3 hours of sleep, if I do that! Also, we are going away for a week in two weeks. His schedule is going to get very messed up then, should I even bother to start sleep training him now, or should I just wait until we get home?
what age should i get rid of his little friend or what i call it the pacifier i think it’s becoming a habit he uses it to confort himself when he’s upset and to fall asleep at nap and bed time i just want the nap pacifier gone and i also want when he’s upset about something i don’t want him to use it but he starts pre-school when school starts up and i want his nap-time pacifier gone before that time and his night time is fine but he’s 3 years old. Do you have any advice to give me. I’m can really need your help on this one. he’s starting to become a paci jucky and i don’t want him to become one of them. please help me before school starts.
My son is about to turn 1. I have just started working again full time. since my return to work my son is very unsettled at night waiking2-4 times in the night unsettled. He has 2 teeth but no signs of the next one comming through. what methods can we used to try and get his sleep pattern back to normal waiking 0-1 times during the night
my one year old daughter wont sleep through at night. she still has a feed through the night which I dont think she needs she has enogh milk and calcium through the day and is a good eater. it is really starting to take it’s toll. i can’t remeber the last time i got a good night sleep. she wont take a dummy so it’s like she is replacing a dummy with a bottle through the night. thanks :)
I am a human pacifier, but it is so hard for me not to be because Gianna wakes up crying and passing tons of gas. She only wakes up when the gas starts and the only way to calm her down is to nurse her again. We see a GI doc and she is on medicine for reflux and I am on a very strict diet b/c I am breast feeding. I don’t want to let her cry b/c I can tell she is in pain, what do I do? Gianna just turned 4 months. Please help me!
My 2 1/2 year old cries at night but I don’t think she is awake. Her eyes don’t open. When she finally opens them she searches for me and does not stop screaming until she sees me. We adopted her a year ago from an orphanage in China. For the purpose of attachment and bonding, having her sleep in our bed was recommended. If she sleeps it really is OK with us. The problem is I think she has nightmares. She is a very happy little girl when she is awake and has definitely attached to us extremely well. I don’t want to leave her in her bed at night because she screams bloody murder for as long as it takes me to come in and get her. She was terrified of the crib as she was tied to it in the orphanage, so we got rid of that and got a toddler bed. She is not afraid of it but she does not like being alone. What am I doing wrong? How can I help her sleep better?
Baby Luke will not settle at bed time following the usual ritual of bedtime routine ie: bath, bottle, quiet time with book etc. Cries sorely, standing up in his cot, until lifted and on a second or third attempt will eventually with lots of persuasion go over and sleep until morning! We find this very distressing as he seems to be terrified of his cot and being left to sleep alone?
I have a 13month old son who wakes up ever 45min to 2hours to be resettled. I have been to a sleep specialist Ngala for a 3 night stay and even they were shocked at his endurance. He slept for only 5 hours in 3 days! He will not settle in the cott so he is in bed with me. I tried not feeding him back to sleep but I would have to rock him and found I was alot more tired rocking him as I had to get out of bed and walk around with him so I am feeding him back to sleep at the moment. Obviously I am a human pacifier. He will cry for hours if I don’t settle him back to sleep by either breast feed or rocking. Please help, my husband has been away for work for the past 6 months for work so I am managing on my own at the moment. He has been like this his whole life, so I haven’t had a proper sleep for over a year and would love a resolution. Many thanks
My 10 month old son is driving me to insanity. I haven’t had one night of sleep since his birth and can’t seem to pull it together lately. I go back to work in September and need him to become a sleeper. He only has 1 nap a day and lately it lasts no longer than 30 minutes. At night, he is put to bed and falls asleep on his own – but that only lasts for maybe 2hours and then he screams and screams until someone goes in. He shares the room with his 5 year old brother so we have to go in and settle him. He does this every 1 1/2-2 hours the entire night and is getting harder to settle. Sometimes I end up nursing him, rocking him, and even have brought him into bed with my husband and I – which I really don’t want to do. I’ve had my husband and other son sleep downstairs for a week so I could try and get him on a routine and it was disasterous – I need help!!
I have a 2 1/2 year old who still wakes up several times in a night. He has done this since he was about 11 months old and no matter what we do, he still gets up. I have changed his bed times, let him go without a nap and even a shorter nap in the afternoon, but nothing seems to work. He falls back asleep again, but only if I lay down on the floor in his room hoping to sneak out when I know he’s back asleep. But no sooner do I leave his room and it’s like he has this sense that I’m no longer there and he wakes up again. If anyone needs a nap or an earlier bedtime it’s me!
Please please don’t let your precious babies ever cry it out alone, all you’ll end up with is anxious and scared children and toddlers with night-time issues. My parents used to let me cry it out and even now at 37 years old I am scared of the dark at night… Go with your motherly instincts, you know, the ones that nature gave you to automatically comfort and nurture your child. Once I started doing that and my baby knew I would be there, he calmed right down and sleeps… like a baby! It doesn’t matter how long it takes… one day they won’t want to know, then you’ll miss those days and nights when you were needed. It will pass. Loosen up, expect the worst and just love them within reasonable boundaries. Please don’t let them ‘cry and cry’ it breaks my heart to hear that!
I have a 2 year old (just turned) and she is waking up to 3 times in the night, she goes to bed at approx 7 and then about 11.30, 2.00am and 5am she will wake, I have tried leaving her and she just crys and crys, when I go in and lay her down she goes back to sleep. She use to be a great sleeper until about 6 months ago. In the begining I use to bring her into our bed when waking at 5.00 but have since stopped that, when I did this she went straight back to sleep
I’m wondering what is the best strategy for maintaining good sleep patterns when travelling. I will be travelling across Canada next month and my 8 month old will be adjusting to a 3 hour time difference travelling west. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Also tips for the plane, best times to fly and what to do with my infant’s naps on a 5 hour flight would be helpful as well!
thanks!
leah
Olivia was such a good sleeper up until 6 months old, so much so she was in her own room at 2wks old and we never needed a monitor. Her waking co-insided with her teeth coming through. Since then, we’ve instigated a gentle wind-down routine, of teeth clean, bath, babygrow, gentle play and story if she chooses. She has just one nap of 1.5hrs in the morning and is usually in bed by 7pm (except when she has had two daytime naps which happens sometimes depending on the days activities). I took your advice and now make sure she is awake when she goes into her cot and now I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I’ve run out of ideas. She is now 16 months old and still wakes for a full 9oz bottle of cows milk usually between 1am or 3.30am. If we refuse to give her milk by leaving her in her cot she makes herself sick in frustration, if we get her out of her cot, she will reach for her toys to play.
Do you have any tips for helping my 11 month old with jet lag. We live in Asia, but we occasionally travel to the US to visit family. The 12-13 hour time change can be difficult for our sweet girl. She normally takes two naps of 1 to 1.5 hours and sleeps for 12-12.5 hours. With the jet lag, however, she wakes in the middle of the night wanting to play. I go to check on her and make sure she is not hungry (jet lag can make you hungry at odd times), change her diaper, and then put her back to bed, but she cries. I know she would stop crying if I got her up to play, but I feel like this will prolong her adjustment. Any ideas?
Freya aged 18 months still not sleeping through, we dont go into her anymore we just tell her to shushh which she usually does, but sometimes like last night it was 5 times.dont know what to do anymore i also have a 5 year old who was, and still is an excellent sleeper.What am i doing wrong??
But recently she’s been going to bed at 7 o’clock, waking up at 9:30, 12:30 and 4:00, and then getting up at 7 a.m. Other than her waking, nothing else has changed. I’ve been getting up to breastfeed her and she’ll start playing after. Sleep is very expensive for me, i am sooo tired.
I am a human pacifier ;o) How long should you let your child cry before you go in the room? My daughter is 13 months and she is used to being rocked to sleep. I want to change that and hope its not to late. Thank you
My 2 year old wakes and comes in my bed at night and has a couple of bottles in the night. I know it’s not the right thing to do and worry about teeth aswell, but I can’t let him cry and we both get more sleep. Any gentle methods of improving this situation? Thank you
My son has got to be the worst sleeping baby ever,my daughter was the same didnt sleep untill she was three i dont think i can cope with another two years with no sleep,he is now one my daughter is three and a half and sleeps in my bed my son has no routine ,i have tryed everything apart from letting him cry he wakes almost every hour most nights for bits of milk or his dummy or for no reason,he too spends most of the night in my bed it his awful,i start him off in his cot usually its between 9 or 10 ,i have tryed the 7.3o time but it makes no difference,he will go a couple of hours in the cot and then it all starts ,i dread going to bed
i am going through the same here i am a human pacifier for my son, it is hard to believe but he is 18 months now, i cant wean him and i cant stop him from waking up in the middle of the night at least 3 times,, i am not getting enough sleep till now and he is getting much attached to me then before i cant go anywhere,even his dad cant touch him if he was crying.
i really need help, i am willing to keep breast feed him till he is 24 months but i still i want to sleep for 4-5 hours at night without breast feeding.
I have a set of 5 1/2 month old twin boys. I put them to bed at 7:30pm and than they wake at 11pm-3am-6am-7am. I always nurse(I exclusively breastfeed) them back to sleep because I figure they’re still small and require night feedings. Is that true? Usually it’s just one that wakes up, and than 20 minutes later the other will wake up. I’ve been waking them both so I’m not up and down all night/morning.
Is waking them both at these times the correct thing to do? Should I be feeding so often through the night? I also can’t get them to wean off their pacifiers and swaddling.
In fact as I’m typing this both boys are screaming at the top of their lungs. The cry it out method is not working as well as I’d hoped with them. It’s extremely stressful. I’m so exhausted!
I feel everyones pain my daughter Kendra is 12 months old and still gets up at least twice a night. She slep through the night for about a week and the had RSV in the hospital the night time routine was broken with a treatment every two hours. She now sleeps for about four hours at night and then wants the breast, she is only on for about 5-10 mins then she is back to sleep. It seems she feels comfort in nursing every 4 hours. Please help I would love to have a renewing night sleep
in desperate need of napping help!!! maya is 7months old and will not nap…….unless she is in the car. I try to put her in the crib but unless she is nursed to sleep and rocked for awhile she wont go down and when she does its only for 20min max! what do i do?????
jackson was doing well, however when mom went back to work and a nanny is on the scene, Jack is back to his wakenings more than ever, very difficult to keep him sleeping, he is just about 14 mths old and does not sleep more than 1 hr thro th day.
help.
I have a one year old daughter, Samantha who as a baby slept brilliantly with no dummy or sleep props. Once she started teething she would wake sometimes 3/4 times a night. At first I thought it was just teething (which it probably was as she cut 4 teeth together) then she had two colds back to back which meant she couldn’t breath through her nose. She does unfortunatley sllep in our room due to a lack of space but she wakes at least once sometimes twice/three times a night. She will go back to sleep once she’s had milk but so far has NEVER slept past 5.30am!! I have tried to leave her for 5, 10 15 minutes respectively but for my sanity and sleep I’ve relented and fed her. I’ve even tried to partition off her cot so that she can’t see us. She has a good consistent bedtime routine which includes a bath and story and is put down between 6.30/7pm.
What am I doing wrong and how can I get her to stay asleep and not wake until 6/7am?
I currently have my 3 1/2 month old in a bassinet in my husband & my room. She has starting to sleep through the night without requiring feedings more consistently for the past couple of weeks. It now seems that if my husband or I get up early in the morning before she wakes or in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, we wake her. My question is, is it too early to move her to her own room in her baby bed? I will absolutely be using a baby monitor. I am just wondering at this point if we are disturbing her sleep patterns. She appears to be a light sleeper & I do not want to interfere by waking her.
I would really appreciate your advice on this issue. Thanks.
my twins will not fall sleep unless i bounce them to sleep, i use babybjorn bouncers. If i try to put them in their cots and leave the room they will cry but not fall asleep, no matter how tired they are.
Hi, I have a 6 mos old son who goes to bed around 7-7:30 pm and wakes up around 2am crying. If i leave him, he usually falls back to sleep within 20 minutes. He then wakes up between 3 -4 am at which point I nurse him. He will usually sleep till 7 am. Should I feed him at the 2 am waking and see if he will sleep till 7 am? When should i stop the night feedings? THank you.
Ella sometimes wakes up in the night crying for no apparant reason and sometimes she is sleeping and crying if that makes sense is she dreaming or something?
My 18 mo. old twin is still waking up 3 – 4 times a night. Shamefully, we give her bottle each time to fall back to sleep. She is a twin and in order for us to get any sleep we have allowed this to go on. When we try to wait it out, she stands up in her crib and screams for an eternity. She is still in my husbands room. The other twin is in his own room. He has slept through the night since 5 months. Ava is keeping my husband up all night with this behavior. Please help!!
What to do then when its your toddler wakes up during the night for no apparent reason? We are near the end of your sleep training program but he still comes in our room around 1am and wants me to either get him something to drink or to sit with him in the room till he falls asleep. What is the appropriate action? Thanks
My baby was sleeping from 8 pm-6:30 am every night since she was 10 weeks old. She is now 6 months old she is now waking 3-4 times a night. She received her 6 month immunizations, ran a really high fever and was vomiting. Therefore, she was up all night. Every since this night, she has been waking 3-4 times a night. She will go back to sleep with a pacifier, but she still awakens at 4 am now. Is this teething or what can I do about this? HELP, I need to work and I am so sleep deprived!
My son is 7mo. He was started sleeping through the night at 4 1/2 mons. With in the past month and a half he has been wakin gup several times. I dont think he is hungry because when we try to feed him he doesnt eat. Do u think this could be due to teething or that he just wants us to go in with him? When I let him cry it out he crys hard for about 5min with no letting up. I hate for him to cry that hard. What should we do?
My daughter is 2 years old, she goes to bed on her own with a little bit of issues but we get past it, then after like 2 or 3 hours she wakes up and wants in my bed, she only wants mommy and freaks out if dad or anyone tries to soothe her. We let her scream for 1 hour last night and she did not stop until I let her in my bed. I need help, I am having another baby in 6 weeks… How do I fix this. She keeps getting out of her bed and I keep putting her back in.
I’m angels motherinlaw. I’ve wittnessed this myself. We’ll keep zane up most of the day. He’ll take a power nap of about a hour and a half. Finally, His mother will put him down for the night, after being so tired he get fussy, and wines. Now he’s finally fast asleep for the night. everyone relaxes. His father comes in from work. He get off at about twelve midnight. When he walks in the door, and says hi to us, Zane eye pop open, and he’ up for another two or three hours.what’s that all about? missing his dad? His dad is with him until four o’clock when he goes to work. Help
Tomas has just turned one an has started waking at nite for a bottle more than once. my husband started to put him to bed and hand him a bottle to suck it to sleep. i know this is the problem but if i put him down without it he does not settle. he goes to bed at 7 30 awake.
PLEASE ADVISE ME WHAT MUST I DO CONCERNING MY 2 YEAR OLD, HE WAKES UP TWICE DURING THE NIGHT FOR A BOTTLE, AND HE DOESN’T NOT SLEEP UNTIL HE GETS HIS BOTTLE AT NIGHT, PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS SITUATION AS I HAVE ANOTHER BABY DUE ANY WEEK NOW AND I DON’T NOW HOW TO COPE.
I know this is hard to believe, but my baby is 10and half months and he wakes up more than once a night. I tried to let him cry until he goes back to sleep while I am sitting next to him and he cried for more than an hour without going back to sleep. Jonathan is one of those babies who is a light sleeper. Any kind of noisewakes him up and he takes a long time to go to bed. I have tried to be consistent but it has not worked.I really do not know what else to do.
Help me please!!!! :)
My son is 6.5 months old and he sleeps no better today than he did when he was 2 or 3 months old. He wakes up every couple of hours through out the entire night. I always let him try to get himself back to sleep, he his grunting always escelates into crying and he gets really upset. Most times that he wakes, I can just give him his pacifier back and he’ll go back to sleep, but he still insists on being fed at least 2 or 3 times a night. I’ve tried EVERYTHING that anyone has ever suggested to me and I’m out of ideas!! I’ve tried keeping him up later (he’s naturally tired and ready for bed about 8 or 8:30), I’ve tried feeding him some rice cereal shortly before bed to fill his tummy, I’ve tried a bath right before bed, I’ve tried ignorning him at night and letting him try to put himself back to sleep (and he always just gets more and more upset), I’ve tried using a mobile with soft music with and without the nightlight on it, I’ve tried weening him off of eating at night by giving him only 2 ounces when he wakes…..and all of these things I’ve tried for at least a week or two at a time. And I giving up too early? Is there something else I can try?? I’m a single mom and I haven’t had 1 single night of 8 hours of sleep in over 6 solid months!! I’m exhausted and don’t know what else to do!
Oh, and he sleeps in his own crib in a dark, quiet room. Can you help me??
Thank so much!!!
Sarah
I AM a human pacifier. My daughter is 6 1/2 months old and is getting more attached to the breast as time goes on. She will not go to sleep at night without it and will not let go until she is asleep. I have been trying to break this habit by putting her in her crib after the last feeding. She is ok at first just laying there playing a bit but once she starts to get really sleepy and realizes there is no breast the crying begins. I am trying to just rock the crib and pat her back but 2 nights in a row it has not worked. She became so hysterical it was scary and absolutely would not calm down without the breast. This went on for over an hour last night. What can I do ? I fed from 7:45 to 8:15 then put her down – they hysterics lasted until 9:20 and after I gave in twice by giving her the breast she then would not even fall asleep on the breast – she just kept sucking and sucking and the minute I took her off – hysteria. Help !!!