Click on the ‘Play’ button above to start video!
Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from Alicia, the busy mother of a 15-month-old twin boys. She writes:
“ I have twin boys who are 15 months old. Each one wakes about five times in the night to drink a bottle. My boys love their bottles. They would not sleep without them. I have tried not giving them the bottles at night but they cry too much. What can I do?”
Wow, five times! That is even more than a newborn so you must be exhausted! Really, there is no reason why any 15-month-old should be waking, even once for a bottle, so five times is too much. I suspect that they probably do not eat very well during the day because they are getting a lot of their calories through the night. It’s time to get rid of the bottle. I would suggest that after the age of one, parents start steering away from the bottle altogether and start using a sippy cup or even a soft top sippy cup. Otherwise, what can sometimes happen is that an association is formed between milk and bottles. If you let it linger much past one (I see it all the time) the child might not drink milk at all unless it comes in a bottle. I would start steering away from the bottle starting with bedtime. The best learning takes place at bedtime.
Start a consistent bedtime routine. Give them a bath, get them in their jammies and the you can give them a sippy cup of warm milk while they look at books. Even if you wanted to keep the bottle, which I don’t think you should, just make sure they do not fall asleep on it. Then you have to pull the bottle out of their mouths when you see heavy eyelids or tickle them or talk to them, keep them awake through the bottle. They really need to lose the connection that the bottle and sleep have anything to do with each other. So they go into their cribs wide awake and start learning skills of falling asleep on their own.
You did mention that you tried to let them cry in the night and not give them bottles. If they are used to falling asleep on a bottle then, they are definitely going to protest the change because that is what they are expecting. It is just like that for any of us if we were going to change habits surrounding bedtime. We would definitely resist that. But they can certainly learn to fall asleep without a bottle. I would suggest that you follow the stay in the room method that is outlined in the Sleep Sense Program so that they learn the new skill but are not alone in doing it.
I always say that if I am teaching my children a new skill, I am going to do all that I can to make sure they are successful. I am going to get them lessons, encourage them and be there to support them but the actual learning of the skill is all theirs. I cannot learn it for them so you really cannot learn this for them; they are going to have to learn this on their own. Once they have learned it, they are going to start sleeping through the night because if they do have a wake up, there is nothing that they need from you. They do not need a bottle in their mouths, they do not need a pacifier, and they do not need anything from you. They just might have a little wake up, roll over, grab their teddy and go back to sleep. It is really going to be the only way you are going to get these boys to sleep through the night and I think you really need to do it.
I wish you the best of luck. Thanks for your question. Sleep well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
Hi Dana,
My 6 month old son sleeps on his own at night but wakes up in the middle of the night, has a feed and poops. The diaper changing activity wakes him up completely and he doesn’t go back to sleep for 2 hours after that. How do I make him sleep again after a diaper change? Thanks.
Dear Dana,
Does your sleep program work with co-sleeping. I very much enjoy co-sleeping with my three and a half month old son, but I do think that he is waking up during the night to be comforted at the breast. I know that sometimes he truly is hungry, but other times he does not know how to settle down by himself. Can your program teach him how to sleep well on his own at the same time that he is in our bed? Also, we have been swaddling him since he was a newborn because otherwise he seems to wake himself up by flailing his arms and legs. I know that eventually he will not even want to be swaddled, but can your program work with this situation? Finally, is it bad for a baby to take a nap that is longer than three hours? Thanks.
Thomas still at the stage where he has never slept thru the night. he wakes about four times a night and cries till he gets fed. has a long feed at first , then later smaller feeds and falls asleep. me holding him and sleeps in my bed. cant find a way to get him to sleep longer than four hours at a time.
My 6 month wakes up crying at night about 3 times wanting a bottle. Is this normal? I have a hard time getting him to sleep. He goes to bed between 8-9 pm, wakes up 3 times and is up by 6 am
! please help with advice.
Hi I have a 3 1/2 month boy. He sleeps with us in our bed. He falls asleep on his own most of the time. Sometimes I have to help him by giving him a bottle or gently rocking him. My main problem is that he will wake up several times for a bottle because he does not feed enough at one time. He will have 6-8 oz at first then sleep for about 4 hours. Then after that he wakes up every 1 or 2 hrs for milk because he only wants 1-2 oz at a time. He will refuse to drink after 2 oz. I dont know what to do. I have to get back to work soon. I am already exausted with this routine. Please help me.
Our daughter Ireland is almost 13 months old. We’ve started the program and it seems that she is slowly learning to sleep. But she’s still not sleeping longer. I’ve read the average sleep in a 24 hour period for this age is 12 1/2 to 15 hours but she only sleeps about 11 hours. The other day I left for the day and my husband was able to get her to sleep quickly, she slept great and for a healthy amount of time for him. I know things are different when dads are around but he is usually gone Mon. to Fri. for work so how can I get her to sleep that good for me? Please help Autumn
Hi Dana,
I know I already wrote a comment, but I have a new question. (PS If you read my last question, the night wakings have gotten better.) We recently started the Sleep Sense program with our 16 month old daughter, Cora. We are now on day 5 and I am still having some issues with her nap. She takes one nap a day and has been for about 3 months now. Since we have implemented the program, she takes an hour to fall asleep for her nap. She doesn’t cry, just plays in her crib. I am using the stay in the room method. She usually gets up around 8 am and her nap is between 12 and 12:30 (the same time as before we started the program). I am wondering what your thoughts are on this issue. Should I put her down later or leave the room? I am also finding that since I moved my chair to the middle of the room, Cora is crying a lot more before falling asleep. She was doing very well when I was sitting next to the crib. Is that typical? Thank you so much for your help.
hello dana,
i am really sorry to ask this question again as you have probably answered this question so many times but i am struggling. so here goes. my daughter is 8 months old and has never slept well at all, she is waking around 5 times and sometimes more just screaming, i will have to either put dummy in or just move her down the cot again as she moves right up to the top of the cot with no covers on.
i do not feed her at night and have been weaning her. i was ebfeeding for 6 months and then went onto formula and weaning her which she seems to be doing really well on. she has a 7oz bottle after her bath at 7 and goes to sleep in her cot, i try make sure she goes into the cot awake and she can fall asleep on her own which is a good thing i suppose.
she also has started to wake at around 3 or 4 wanting to play and whatever we do she just will not go back to sleep, we left her yesterday and she just screamed so loud for us to get her and we ended up just keep going back as we live in flats and our neighbours are not very understanding. i am struggling as i am also working 2 nights a week and i have to look after her in the day as well and i struggle to get her to nap as well, so hardly no sleep in the day and bad sleep at night, i am at my witts end so please please help….
even when she does have good naps she doesnt sleep at night either and vice versa if no naps still same at night.
please help.
My baby is 8 months old and she won’t take the bottle at all, she is breastfeed right now but Iam trying to change it to the bottle cause
Iam not producing that much milk anymore. My problem is that she will just drink 2 oz of milk from the bottle and that will be it for the whole day. Iam very worried she’s not getting enough milk.
Please help
Thanks
my son ben is two weeks off his first birthday for the first 6 months of life he was an angel but even though most of the time he is good at nights he is a pain, i cannot leave him to cry because i also have a 3 year old daughter and another son who is two and i cannot afford for them all to be up during the night. sometimes ben will wake up and the only way to get him back to sleep is to take him out in the car which can sometimes take hours and alot of fuel or i have to carry him around or push him in his pram and as i am 8 months pregnant with baby number 4 not getting a full decent nights sleep is taking its toll on me, it not like he wake up for food as he eat so much during the day that he does not want anything during the night
Hi!
My 1 year old daughter has been diagnosed by the dr. as allergic from any milk other then mine and has prescribed mother’s milk for 2 years.So,I obviously havent started giving her bottle or any thing else. The problem is that she wakes up several times a night and cries until she gets feed from me. You have suggested some one not to feed the baby at night.
What should I do then to make her sleep when she wakes up and cry?
When should I give her feed before she sleeps and after she gets up?
my baby charlize is 6 months old and has suddenly been waking up either to breast feed or to held to fall back to sleep. Before she was sleeping for at leat 8 hours but now gets up every 2-4 hrs an I am so exhausted. She has been teething for about a month amd cries and fusses alot.I have been undecided on whether to get your program for a while now. help
We cannot keep our almost 3 year old son in bed at bedtime. We have the same routine and we put him to bed at the same time every night. We’ve tried the “silent back to bed,” we’ve tried, the “lock the door”, we’ve tried rationalizing. Nothing seems to work. It seems not matter what we do, it always takes an hour for him to unwind and stay in bed to fall asleep. How do we get rid of all the hassle and get him to stay in bed when it’s time???
hi dana,
niamh has just turned 17 months and overall she has been a very ood sleeper. she is still only crawlin and crusing and is gettin very fast at this. she has also started standin up in her cot. when we are putting her down for her sleep she will constantly keep either sitting up or standing. we go in and put her down with very little disruption but it can take up to over an hour for her to settle down – plse can you advise on the best action to take?
My daughter is 13 months old and I breast feed for 1 year. We have successfully weaned her but the only way we can get her to sleep for naps or bedtime is to rock her in her bedroom. The problem is that she crys and fights the whole time until she just gives up.My husband thinks its fine to keep rocking her for now but I feel that we should be putting her in her bed when she gets tried and let her fall asleep on her own. She is my third child and the other 2 girls baby her a lot so we tried a few months ago putting her in her bed and she would scream without a break. She didnt give and go to sleep and everyone was upset at the end. My other children did not have this problem when they were tired we just put them in their bed and they would go to sleep no fighting no crying. My question is do I just leave things alone as they are and wait for her to grow out of it or should we do something now?
I have a 4 month old girl who likes to wake up at 3am on the dot and wants to have a bottle, I’ve tried just waiting to see if she will go back to sleep on her own then she starts to cry and then I try to rock her, no luck and I put my finger to her lips and she starts sucking so I figure she is hungry. We are feeding her rice cereal now but it’s not making her sleep through the night. What am I doing wrong? I don’t want to create a bad habit with her.
I have a 7 month old daughter who is an experienced roller ,she has started rolling over in the middle of the night. She can’t get herself from front to back so she ends up doing a 180 degrees turn and starts crying and I have to go to put her on her back and settle her to sleep upto 2-3 times a night. She is teething so I also give her panadol and bonjela sometimes when she gets up at night in case she is in pain.She has been sleeping through from 3 months up to now…when she has started waking up at night. Also, I have her in a routine and upto now, she has been self settling to sleep, but for the last couple of weeks has been protesting at nap times and also when I put her down for night sleep. She wants me there until she falls asleep and cries bitterly if I attempt to leave the room when she is almost falling asleep.So at nap times I rock her gently on my knees until she is almost asleep then attempt sometimes successfully to put her to sleep.Please help!
MY DAUGHTER IS NEARLY 12 WEEKS, HAS BEEN SPOILED BY MY PARTNER AND FAMILY BY LIFTING AND CUDDLING HER FROM THE MOMENT SHE WAS BORN. I BREASTFED FOR 5 WEEKS AND SHE ALWAYS SLEPT AFTER HER FEEDS. I THOUGHT THIS WAS GREAT!!! NOW I AM TRYING TO ESTABLISH A PROPER BEDTIME ROUTINE AND ENSURE ALL NAPS ARE TAKEN IN HER BASKET…NOT CAR SEAT OR BOUNCY SEAT….AS WAS THE CASE. SHE CRIES HYSTERICALLY, NEARLY MAKING HERSELF SICK. I LIFT HER AFTER A FEW MINUTES BUT SHE TAKES A WHILE TO CALM DOWN. IF I PLACE HER BACK DOEM SHE GOES CRAZY….IS THIS GOING TO GET EASIER, HOW LONG SHOULD SHE CRY FOR AND HOW LONG SHOULD I KEEP HER UPSTAIRS FOR. I ENDED UP GIVING IN TO HER DEMWNDS AND GAVE BOTTLE AND SOOTHER!!!!!!!!!!! HELP
Hi,
I am the mother of a beautiful and charming 16 month old little girl named Sadie Nan. She is going to sleep on her own and sleeping through the night. However she has a new baby brother due to be born in April of next year. He will be sleeping in a bassinet in Mom and Dad’s room for the first little while but will then be moving into his sister’s room.
I am trying to decide if I should transition Sadie into a toddler bed before the baby comes or after and how to do it.
Hi Dana
My beautiful 8 month old son was such a happy boy when I was doing demand feeds & sleeps believe it or not he hardly ever cried. However, after 8 months of 3 wake ups and feeds a night (even though he was always awake when I put him down in his cot) and very little uninterrupted sleep I could not function, or think from one thing to the next. What a shock to hear him cry when we started to implement sleep training. For the first 5 days my very supportive husband and I saw a little improvement each day. Nap times are very difficult but for the most part he sleeps well at night. In just 5 days we have gone from an average of 3 feeds a night to 0 feeds a night with 1 or 2 short wake ups which end after leaving and checking for 10 min intervals and only last 10 mins.
Nap time has turned out to be the killer. Today I have been trying to get him to have a nap since 12pm. After an initial short nap routine (singing the same song each time and leaving soothing music playing) he settles momentarily & I begin leave & check every 10 mins. After 1 hr of crying we ended up giving him & us a break with quiet cuddles & a dummy. I have been trying to get him to nap on and off for 6 hrs now. During this time we had a nappy change and a dose of children’s panadol as I assumed he was in great pain (teething, belly ache?). My question is how long do you keep training before you cut your losses and let the little guy get some sleep anyway you can or carry on with the next part of the day? Won’t he then be overtired? How do you break the cycle early or is this just part of the initial training?
I have a 3 month old daughter, Ellie. There are two changes I’d like to make so Ellie (and I) could get more sleep. I’d like to move her bedtime up and would like to stop co-sleeping. If there are several changes to make —should I try to make them all at once or make one change at a time?
Hi Dana.
My baby in 5 weeks old and does not sleep enough. During the day she only sleeps upto twice for upto 30min after feeding (breastfeeding) or rocking to sleep. Towards the end of the day I end up putting her in a sling, so I can do some chores, and she sleeps happily for upto 2hrs. She also falls asleep after feeding but only for a couple of min as usually when I move her or put her down in her crib she wakes up. Any advice on how to help her sleep more in the day? Thanks.
Dear Dana,
My situation is soemwhat similar to Therese’s (comment #58). Our little girl recently turned 4 months. She has slept soundly through the night since she was about 9/10 weeks old–until about a month and a half ago. She began to rely on the pacifier and my husband and I were getting up nearly 5-7 times/night. We took the pacifier away from her and have been allowing her to cry–it breaks my heart. We continue to check on her and make sure she’s still covered, but it pains me to hear her cry. Amazingly, upon taking the pacifier away, she began sleeping through the night at about the third night into our breaking her of the habit. Now she is waking up here and there because of moving herself all over the crib–and of course, when we go in to put the covers over her and help her get comfortable again (sometimes she has her feet propped up on the side of the crib and has done a 180 degree turn in her bed), this makes matters worse with her crying. In addition, if I notice she’s really wet, I change her diaper and that adds to the problem. So by this time, I feel as though her little mouth is parched after all her crying and I nurse her. Sometimes she falls asleep (no matter how hard I try to keep her awake) and sometimes she doesn’t. So–this is a four-fold question. 1) What can I/should I do to alleviate worsening her crying when she wakes up (given my situation)? 2) Am I wrong for nursing her after all this? 3) Your recommendation for putting her back to sleep when she does doze off while nursing her? / Do I wake her up before putting her back again (I can’t see myself doing this when it’s 2/3 in the morning, but I don’t want her to become accustomed to relying on being nursed back to sleep)? As I mentioned, I don’t do this intentionally, but sometimes it’s near impossible to keep her awake! Thank much!
Dana,
I have a 1-year-old. He is very persistant with waking at least once a night. I am trying to wean him from nursing completely, so have been using a sippy cup during the day exclusively. I’ve also been putting him to bed without nursing. The only time he still wants to nurse is when he wakes at night. I’ve tried to not get up for him, but he shares a bedroom with our 4 year-old. My husband and I don’t want both boys to be awake during the night, but we are exhausted. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since before I was pregnant with the 1-year-old. What can I do? Please help! Thank you.
Hi Dana,
My daughter is 4 months old. She had been starting to sleep longer through the night. She used to be able to fall asleep on her own. We do have a nice bedtime routine, but now she wakes about 1 hour after falling to sleep and seems to be waking about every hour – we started using the pacifier… which I wasn’t too thrilled about, but she took it and didn’t seem to nurse… I still nurse her every 2 hours or so, when the paci doesn’t do the trick. Her naps during the day have also changed – she seems to take short 20-30 minute cat naps. She isn’t fussy during the day though… just get’s cranky around 6 pm. She will however, take long naps if we are driving or on a walk. I’m starting to get concerned that she isn’t eating enough. She has always been a great eater… she is in 95 %, but I’m wondering now, if my milk is starting to dry up and she’s not getting enough. Or maybe a grwth spurt? I just started back to work, so these nights are tough! Oh… she does sleep in bed with us. She was sleeping for 8 hours at a stretch at about 10 weeks old (lasted about a week). Is your program in line with attachment parenting? Thanks for your time and your work.
Wendy
Hi There! I bought your book yesterday and devoured it. We already had been pretty much doing the “leave the room” approach. My son is 4.5 months and was born premature. I called he doctor before I began to be sure his weight no normal and the amount he eats during the day was ok. After reading your book I realized a few things. He past the 3 month point and needed to go to bed early. We aimed for a 7:20-7:30 bedtime. Although we had a bed time routine established it was all wrong and took to long. We followed your 20 minute rule set him in bed and he fell asleep on his own. As a hint we also changed the routine for him slightly so it was pretty new (behavior modification) to him (cereal BEFORE bath, then brief lotion massage, a bottle, lights off, bed) and walked out. My husband and I decided to wait 10 minutes before going in. He went to bed no pacifier alone! The first time (12:00) he woke up it took him 7 min and he was out. The second time he woke (3:30) it took him 30 minutes of on and off crying but he never got to a consistent 10 minutes of crying and put himself back to sleep. (the first night I’m not going to lie it was 45 minutes but we supported one another and snuggled to get through it) My question is…the on and off crying did we do that right? Becuase he never got to a consistent 10min of crying we never went in. He woke a third time 5:40 but it was once again 6-7 min and he was out. Finally at 6:30 (our established awake time) I heard him stir and before he could get himself worked up (b/c at this point it was 11 hours) I went in smiled and welcomed the morning with him. He was great! We are motivated and positive and ready to do this again!
But the roller coaster crying is that normal and something that should cease?
Dear Dana,
We have two sons, a 20 months and a 6 months old. The boys are sleeping together in the same room. We are thinking to move the older one into a single bed now and leave the crib for the younger one. He does not have a problem to fall asleep on his own in the crib now and usually sleeps through the night (unless he is sick). However, when he is not tired enough he doesn`t want to stay in the crib, but doesn`t have a choice but to complain, cry, or play with his stuffed animals and eventually he falls asleep. Please let us know what are your thoughts on moving toddlers from a crib into a bed, when is the right time and how to do it right.
I have finally gotten my 2-1/2 year old to go to bed at a regular time every night. The problem I am faced with now is that since we have bedtime at an earlier time, she refuses to take a nap. If I spend hours forcing her to nap it pushes bedtime later. She either sleeps from 8 pm to 7 am or takes a 2 hour nap during the day and sleeps from 10 pm to 7 am. My child will not and has never slept more than a total of 11 hours in a 24 hour period. How do I get her to take a reasonable nap and still have an 8 pm bedtime routine?
my little 5 month old girl zoey, wakes up every morning between 3:00 and 4:00 to jabber, although this was cute at first, miss gabby is waking the entire household, i also have a two year old son, who wakes us early, when he gets woke up, he cries uncontrolably until we put him in bed with us or he vomits and with I and my husband both owning our buisness, we need some sleep, we have two bedrooms in our home, so she must sleep in one room or the other, how can we channel this little socialites routine to a better time of day
my two year old son sleeps well in the night untill 4:00 in the morning, he then will wake up crying to the top of his lungs, and will not quit until we come and put him in bed with us, or let him cry, then he almost always vomits, is he just testing us, and if so, how do we stop this behavior.
My problem is a huge disaster and im afraid its my fault.My baby boy ,Joud, is totally dependant on my breast!He only sleeps if he is breast fed and in very rare times if he is walked in his carrier.To fall asleep i carry him while breastfeeding till he gets drowsy then put him on the bed and breastfeed till he is fully asleep.
he still sleeps with us in bed which is starting to get very uncomfortable for me and my husband who ends up with joud’s foot in his mouth or face.Where should i start??i want to wean him off my breast,in his own bed,in his own room,and sleeping on his own.I’l do anyting.
I have a 5 month old who is now falling asleep on her own in her own bed at about 730. After putting her on her back initially, she usually flips herself over to her belly and continues to sleep there until about 430am. At that point I feed her and put her back to bed and she will sleep until about 8ish. I have two questions: 1. should I leave her on her back to sleep? (she seems to stay asleep longer on her belly) and 2. should I continue to feed her at 430 when she wakes?
My 7 month old gets up before 6 in the morning. I’ve read that putting babies to bed earlier will make them sleep longer. Right now she goes to bed at 8pm. What do you suggest I try to get her to sleep in longer?
Hello!
Okay, I need help like all the other parents on here! My little guy is almost 5 months and although he is pretty happy most of the time (thank goodness) his sleeping pattern is off at night which makes for a weird pattern during the day. I put him down during the day when I see he is getting tired; it’s usually within 2-3 hours of being awake. I am trying to get him on a pattern during the day ( morning nap and afternoon nap). The morning nap, although short, is pretty much established and the afternoon nap I’m hoping will come in the next couple of months (if I remember correctly as I have a 2 year old, too). So, at night we have a good routine of feeding, a bath, a book and then bed. He goes to bed awake without a soother and 9 out of 10 times falls asleep quickly on his own. Good right? Yes, but he then wakens between 11-1 to feed (and yes, he is hungry). I feed him and put him back to bed and then low and behold he wakens again between 4-5 and doesn’t want to eat or go back to sleep. He isn’t usually crying but just doesn’t want to go back to sleep. I try to soothe him and don’t pick him up but I find if he starts to get too loud I have to bring him in to our room because he shares a room with his big brother and of course we don’t want to wake him, too. It’s crazy because obviously neither myself or my husband want to be awake from 4 or 5 on. Please help! Thank you.
Hi Dana,
my son is 10 month old now. his day nap is getting better, 1.5 hour(cry 2-3 times) in morning, 0.5 or 1 hour in afternoon. but the sleep during night is still a big problem. he will wake up 2-5 times between 19:30 to 6:30. some times he just needed to be picking up, then back to sleep. some times he drank only 30-60mls of milk, some times he cried for an hour. he never slept throughout the night. please give me some help. thanks!
is the pain of the teething wakes chantelle at night Se wakes every 2 hours
My 10 week old daughter has severe reflux. She is on Zantac 3 x a day. She has trouble staying asleep. She is wrapped and put to bed in her cot and she falls asleep on her own (with a dummy) but only stays asleep for 20- 40 minutes. Then she wakes screaming in pain, or gurgling from the reflux. She is elevated and wrapped tightly- what else can we do??
Hi Dana!
Here is my issue…My 1 year old daughter moves around so much in her crib that she wakes herself up! She either kicks her feet in her sleep until she wakes herself, or she “sleep crawls” so far forward that she bumps her head on the sides of the crib. She also sometimes gets turned sideways and gets either a hand or foot caught in the crib slats. I put her crib bumpers back up for a while to keep her from bumping her head or getting tangled, but she pulls them down (read: ripped the strings off) and either uses it for a pillow, or gets her head underneath it – SCARY! So I took the bumpers off again. Now we are back to laying her at one end of the crib when we put her down “drowsy-ish” so she has room to move forward. She bumps her head in her sleep almost every night. And since she is asleep when this happens, she won’t back up on her own. All this moving around is causing her to cry out in her sleep when she can’t go any farther forward in the bed, which ends up waking her. She is waking at least twice a week, for between 1 to 3 hours! What is causing this “sleep crawling”? And how can we stop it so she will sleep better? Would a pillow help? How young is too young to consider RLS? I am at a loss on this…I haven’t been able to find out any info regarding young toddlers who crawl in their sleep.
Thanks for your time, and I hope you will respond…we really could use your help!
Lori G.
My daughter is 19 months old. I still do stay with her until she falls asleep because she uses my hair as a security blanket. I have tried giving her dolls and other stuffed animals to replace my hair but nothing has worked. So when she gets up in the middle of the night she needs my hair to go back to sleep. I would like to get this resolved before our next child arrives in June. I have tried to cry it out method and she just vomits all over herself. How can I get her to fall asleep on her own?
Hi,
Zoe is 6 1/2 months and I still have problems with her to lear to sleep by herself.
She is used to fall asleep at my breast and now I don’t have milk any more so she gets frustrated is milk does not come.
She has been introduced just now to solids.
I tried to let her alone in her crib but she will cry and if not so she will get agitated and she will start to play. Some days it take more than 2 hrs to put try to make her sleep and without results During the night she will get up for a feed or a soothing ‘breast’ 4 to 5 times. She sleeps with me. During the afternoon she is over tired but can’t sleep alone. Should I let the feed during the night continuing?
She will not get the bottle with other milk other than mine …. situation is getting frustrating
Thank you for your help
My son Owen is turning 2 in a couple days & my husband & I noticed some changes in his sleep habit. He use to go to bed fine for us but we would have to rock him to sleep. Now he fights with us when we go to put him to bed. We try to rock him but he just won’t go to sleep. Owen only takes one nap during the day around 12noon he sleeps for about an hour & a half to 2 hours. He wakes up in the morning around 8am & we usualy finally get him to sleep around 10pm. I used to be able to get him to go to bed around 8-8:30 pm. Another problem we notice when he wakes up from his nap & in the morning he is still tired. My Husban & I here him up alot at night playing in his crib. What can we do to help our son get better rest so he can enjoy his day and decrease mine & his dads stress level? Please Please! Help!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi,
My son is 7 1/2 months old and was starting to sleep better. I could lay him down drowsy and he would eventually fall asleep on his own. He would wake 2-3 times per night but was beginning to soothe himself back to sleep if I didn’t rush in to get him. Now he is learning to crawl and each time he wakes up (again 2-3 times per night) he rolls to his tummy and can’t get back to sleep so he fusses until I come in. However I have to nurse or rock him back to sleep otherwise he will just cry. What can I do to help him?
My daughter is 14 months old and she is now sleeping through the night and falling asleep on her own. We are having a problem during nap time. She will cry herself to sleep but it takes 30-40 minutes and will only sleep for about 30 minutes. How do we get her to take a good nap without the prolonged crying.
Hi Dana
I have a 21 month old little boy who is a very good sleeper and only wakes if he is teething or unwell. He usually sleeps from 7 pm until 7.20am and takes a nap of around 2 1/2 hrs. However since the clocks changed his sleep pattern is all over the place. I tried putting him down at 7pm new time and he woke up very upset and tired at 6am. He is also only taking a 90 minute nap(can not seem to get past one sleep cycle) and wakes up crying. I am now putting him to bed at 6.30pm and he sleeps until 6.30am but the naps are still short and he is more tired than usual. Hope you can help.
Hi,
My daughter is 19 months old & has usually slept well except for the teething periods. It seems she goes through spurts where she is sleeping 9-10 hours straight and then resorts back to waking up at 4am completely wide-eyed and wanting to play. It takes me an hour or more to get her to go back to sleep and even then she will only sleep for another hour. She always naps well during the daytime. I’m wondering if I made the mistake of staying with her while she falls asleep…I sing to her or rub her back and she goes to sleep with no issues. When she wakes up at 4am, she will not fall back to sleep on her own and I have to sit with her while she is standing up and playing in her crib!! Is there anything I can do or is this just a phase or growth-spurt she is going through?
Thanks!
Hi, i have a 14month boy who has never really slept through since birth. He goes to bed about 8.30 after a bath and super etc. He falls asleep by himself in his cot and then from about 11pm he starts to become unsettled he wakes, i go and check on him give him his dummy but he just doesn’t seem to be able to get himself back to sleep when he evenutally does (which takes a while) he will be crying out again two hours later and this is the same cycle through the night and every night. It seems like he can’t get himself to sleep through the night and cannot stay in a solid sleep for any longer than two hours. Please help!!!
My son is 10 1/2 months old and wakes up 7 or 8 times a night, crying. He drinks one bottle about midnight. We have been putting him in bed with us, but he sleeps very restlessly and then we are all awake anyway.
I have started sleep coaching him recently, staying in his room, but moving away gradually – the first night he woke up 8 times, second night 2 times (so I was ecstatic) and last night 7 times again.
Is this actually going to work?
My 23 month old son is not a sleeper and I spend most of the night sorting him out and then most of my day exhausted. He usually has a bottle at bed time round 7:30 and I lie with him till he falls asleep. He does not fall asleep with his bottle but afterwards with his pacifier. He loves to cuddle and I don’t mind that but do mind not getting a nights sleep. He wakes at least 4 times during the night and either I give him some watered down juice or water or his pacifier and he goes back to sleep. I have tried to cut that out but somehow it hasn’t worked(my fault) Most times I bring him into our bed so I don’t have to keep getting up – have to worka full day! And then we both don’t sleep well as we are conscious of him. I need help but am NOT a fan of letting them cry all night. Some crying I can do. (:>) I have read loads of books and can’t seem to find the right way for me and him. I have kept him in the cot but am planning a change soon if I can wake up enough to sort it!
Hello Dana,
My son is 28 months. He has always been a great sleeper, self soother and sleeps in a big boy bed as of his second birthday. However, as of recently (3 – 4 weeks ago) he has been waking up between 2-4am and coming into our bed telling us that the shadows on the wall are scary. We ( my husband or I) will take him back to his room and explain to him there is nothing scary about the shadow but night after night we still seem to have this problem.
I feel as though this is starting to have a strong effect on his needed rest because he is normally a very happy boy and he tends to be much more crabbier than normal.
Any suggestions?
Thank you,
Tina
Hi, My problem with jade is she just wont go to bed unless it is in my bed with me. If she goes to sleep on the couch i can put her into her bed and then she wakes at about 5.30am and comes in to my bed.
Jade dosen’t have a nap in the afternoon she goes all day right up 9.30pm-10.30pm and by then i’m so tired that it is just easier to let her to go to sleep in my bed,but i dont want her in my bed because i dont get a good sleep and then i’m to tired to do things with her. Please Help.
Hi, We also have a 15 months old who still does not sleep throught the night, she wakes several times for a sip of her bottle (does not take a soother) and falls back to sleep, this goes on for about 5 times most nights, as we have another baby arriving in 3 weeks I cant let her cry it out, we also have a 6 year old and that is why we never let her cry it out, did not want everyone wakened!
I have twin boys too, 14 months and still not sleeping through the night. I can’t believe how they are still 2 to 3 times a night for milk or for their soothers, my daughter was almost 3 months when she started sleeping through the night and I thought that was normal thing for babies to do at that stage. But these boys of mine, gosh they really are double trouble. We don’t have enough room for the boys to have their on rooms, so they are in the same room. But seperate cot beds, sometimes they wake each other up by crying so loud if we don’t get to them soon enough. We live with my husband’s parents and family, so we can’t really let them cry. Because somebody would come and hold them, annoying I know. Do you think there is any other way of getting them tp sleep through the night?
Hi Dana,
I have a question for you that I’m sure you have answered a billion times, but I need to ask!
My 7 month old son has always been a great sleeper (apart form now but I think it might be teething, not too sure), however, he has always been swaddled, and always had a dummy/soother.
When he was around 8 weeks we tried to get rid of the dummy, but he became hysterical (screaming, getting all sweaty, and not settling, so we reverted back to the dummy…but only for sleep time, prior to that he’d had it during the day because he had reflux and the dummy helped keep everything down as he was constantly swallowing).
We ultimately want him to settle himself to sleep unswaddled, and without the dummy, but each time we’ve tried to remove either of them, either slowly or cold turkey, its resulted in a week of hystercal screaming, and rarely any sleep.
We tried a gentle dummy removal technique (I’m sure you’ve heard of it) but to no avail. We’ve tried swaddling with one arm out, but he removes the dummy with his hand and can’t get it back in…its a nice little cycle (not)!!
Also, just a a suggestion for Jules on the wetting through, have you tried making the bed up in layers (mattress protector, fitted sheet, flat sheet, matterss protector, fitted, flat, matres protector fitted,flat) that way, you dont have to look around for new sheets, and make the bed, just whip off one layer and you’re good to go for round 2…just a suggestion.
HELP!!! my son is almost 8 months and he started sleeping through the night when he was a month old! IT WAS GREAT! Well right after he turned 6 months we went to visit my in laws for a week and a half while my husband was out of town. my son started waking up in the middle of the night screaming between 1am and 3am. He will not so back to sleep until I give him a bottle and even then it is only 30% of the time. Then he will be wide awake until he takes a nape at 10 am. for 1-2 hrs then another one at 3pm for another 1-2 hours. He goes to bed between 9-10pm. PLEASE HELP!
Hi, I have a 27 month old boy who wont go to sleep unless I lie with him. He is extremely stubborn and will cry and get out of his bed over and over again until I give in. This can go on for hours. We have a routine in place, I read to him, he brushes his teeth and then he goes to sleep. He also wakes up during the night and will not go back to sleep unless I lay with him, or let him sleep in bed with us.
My son christian is 16months and he still wakes up during the night. he has no trouble going to sleep on his own with his blanky but wakes during the night anywere between 2-8 times for no reason. we do not feed him and we have tried everything from letting him cry all night to controlled crying. that has been going on for 2 1/2 weeks and he still wakes. to make things worse we have a new borm 6 weeks that wakes and a 4 year old to look after please we need some sort of help.
Hi, i have a 15 month old daughter who wakes at least 4 times a night. When i go into her she is usually soaked from head to foot where her nappy has got so full. I change her at least twice a night due to this. I then have to re make her bed and by that point she is wide awake. She has milk before bed but only 8 oz. She only seems to wake if she is wet through! I have tried every nappy even the twelve hour huggies ones to try and help. Im running out of ideas of what to do because its not nice for her and she never gets a night sleep due to this.
Thanks for your email.
My problem with Jay is not that he can’t self-sooth to get over to sleep (I put him in his cot with his blankie – both for naps and nightsleep – and he has a wee cry for 1 or 2 minutes then goes to sleep by hinself no problem). The problem is he wakes usually between 2 and 3am and cries on and off till about 5am. The whole time I’m awake as I can’t sleep listening to him.
I usually leave him and he goes back over after about 2hrs (I have tries going in to him but he then gets louder). He’s not hungry as he gets a bottle at 11pm.
I’ve tried earplugs, turning down the monitor but nothing works. How can i help him to sleep through?
Please help, I’m exhausted!!!
Hello Dana,
I have a 5 month old boy named August. He does have night time routine of bath, pj’s, books and feeding (breastfed) and typically falls asleep while feeding, is burped/held/rocked for another 10 minutes and put in his crib. If all goes well (which is about 75% of the time), this is good for about 4-6 hours. Most nights, he will wake up within a 1/2 hour, but once picked up and held another 10 minutes will fall back asleep. He then proceeds to get up two more times, is nursed and falls back asleep without incident. Often he ends up awake between 5:30-7 and will stay up for an hour and then take a short nap before starting his day. he is not consistent, he seems to only be soothed at night by nursing and he is moved into our bed after the first wake up. Any suggestions on how to teach this self soothing skill?
Thanks, Rachelle
My 6 mo. old baby goes to bed well at night but often uses a pacifier. I put her down between 7 -8 and she often sleeps until 7 in the morning however she wakes about 3 times during those 11-12 hours and screams. Sometimes I give her the pacifier and she will go back to sleep but other times as won’t and I will nurse her, she then goes right back to sleep. If I stop all of this cold turkey how do I let her know she is safe but still needs to go back to bed with out being nursed?
my 7 month old son sleeps about 12 hours at night but only cat naps during the day (30-50 minutes at a time for 2 or 3 naps). He seems groggy and irritable during the day. I’ve tried leaving him in his crib for an hour during his nap time, but it has not helped to lengthen his naps. On nights when he has gone to bed late, he tends to nap better the next day. Are we letting him sleep too much at night?
My 15 month has already learned how to sleep by himself when we put him in his crib (this is at night, during the day only sleeps in stroller or car seat). However he wakes up 1-4 times per night. Sometimes he will go back to sleep, other times he only calms down after we give him water. During the day, he is such a good drinker, that we think he really needs it, but we wish we did not have to wake up.
My 14 month old son goes to sleep in his crib on his own (without a bottle) and sleeps through the night, but he wakes up just before 5am every morning and wants to nurse. Then he is up for the day. He seems cranky and sleepy until his nap. I usually put him to sleep at 7:30pm and he wakes up early even if put to sleep later. Twice I have tried letting him cry himself back to sleep, but after a week of crying for an hour or more every morning I gave up. I know he needs more sleep at night. What can I do to help him sleep later in the morning? Do you think he is truly hungry?
HI Dana,
Just wondering what you would suggest. My 14 month old son is going through a teething bout and wakes up 5-6 times a night screaming and wanting to be nursed. It seems cruel to try and take away his only source of comfort when he is already going through so much. Seems like sacrificing my sleep is the only way out. Is this the right time to try and teach him to sleep on his own? Somehow I have mixed feelings (esp guilt) even though I am desperate for sleep.
Exhausted.
Roshni
My daughter Isabela is 2 1/2 y.o. She was born naturaly, la leche league advices and Dr. Sears book insites, but now I’ve got worn out from that style of parenting. She doesn’t have a structured routine, I don’t have either ’cause I work evenings sometimes. So my biggest goal is to get her to fall asleep on her own. I have to lay down with her, after reading, singing, stories and prayer it takes an hour and some times a lot of winning and excuses for delaying sleep time. I really need to get her on a right bed time routine. WOULD THAT EVER BE POSSIBLE?
My second child is on his way hopefully a water birth, due december. After reading baby wise, baby wisper and some of your work I’m defenitly going to put this one on a more structured routine.
hello, my daughter is going to be 22 months, she will ot give up the night time bottle!! people say just take it away..ya right! my husband and i are by no means lazy and just want to hush her, weve done the 3 day thing the doc said just let hher cry it out all that… she does not give up..lol ive rocked her ive layed with her ive read to her sung everything…and its just at night, i dont have 100′s to spend on miricle cure or help stuff, ive taken her to the dentist they say her teeth are just fine, she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming for a bottle, ive got a 8 month old boy tht does fine all night long my 8 yr old did great when he was a baby…i have no clue what to do about it she cant have a bottle at 5 yrs old! lol
All right…here we are again…I am exausted I cannot take this anymore…Hopefully Dana you can help me this time.
I have tried and tried to follow your suggestions and teach my 9-month-old Evelyn to learn to fall asleep by her own, but living with my parents makes everything too hard. THEY DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THE BABY CRYING, WHICH IS EVEN WORSE AT NIGHT TIME.
My daughter ONLY falls asleep if rocked or next to me on the bed…I try to lie her down in her crib when I see that she is very tired and has closed eyes, but she keeps getting up for me to grab her…if I do not do so…she cries and cries getting all the time even worse…what can I do? I NEED HELP!
My 10 month old son, thinks it’s a game if I put him in his crib when he is still awake, even drowsy. He suddenly gets a burst of energy and crawls all over the crib chatting. I try put him down again but he just gets up again. This happens over and over until he starts crying hysterically and does not clam down until I pick him up and put him to sleep in my arms.
Hi, my four-month old needs the pacifier to fall asleep and we have to replace it at night. We are getting ready to take it away at night, but are wondering if it is okay to allow it for naps? I’ve heard that babies’ brains organize day and night sleep differently. Thanks!
hi Dana
my 5 month old daughter Isabella was sleeping for about 6 hours in a row but since we moved her from the pack and play in our room to her crib in the nursery about 10 days ago she is waking every 2 hours. We try soothing her for one of them but i end up feeding her 2 or 3 times a night again. We are all tired in our house again. We have a good bedtime routine, an she goes to bed at 8.30ish. I feel like we have gone backwards!! can you help?
kind regards jojo
Hi I have 10 month old twin boys who still wake for a bottle on a night, they nearly sleep through, but I`m wondering when I should stop the bottle of milk before they get in to routine of alling asleep on the bottle if infact I`m not there already!
Regards Sally
I have a six month old little boy. He is able to put himself to sleep at night and only waking up once to eat but over the past few weeks he is waking up and screaming until he gets a bottle ( at least twice a night). I’m not talking about crying a little bit or fussing but literally screaming bloody murder, like he is in pain. He is fine if you pick him up or feed him. I have tried just changing his diaper and soothing him but he continues the screaming. At first, I attributed it to a growth spurt and his 6 month vaccinations. But I think it has becaome a habit. I know he isn’t necessarily hungry and that it is a habit but how do I get him past needing to eat to calm down? Do I have to just let him “cry it out”?
My son will be 3 on December 14th. He’s never been a good sleeper. As a baby, when I went to lay him down he would wake as soon as he left my arms. We went thru a stage where he would go to bed fine, but wake up several times a night. Now, however, he WILL NOT go to bed without a huge fight every night. My husband and I will put him down as many as 8 times before he finally stays in bed. He refused to go to bed and stay there unless I am also going to bed. He sometimes still wakes up in the middle of the night calling for me. Another thing that upsets me is that he ALWAYS, ALWAYS wakes up crying. Please tell me what to do. I’m at the end of my rope!
Thanks!
I JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS, I WATCH YOUR VIDEOS ALL THE TIME AND THEY HAVE HELPED SO MUCH!! I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY SON BUT NOW HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT AND IF HE WAKE UP DURRING THE NIGHT HE CAN FALL BACK ASLEEP WITH OUT A BOTTLE AND WITH OUT ME :) ITS GREAT!! THANKS SO MUCH
Here is my challenge with letting Owen cry it out w/out my rocking or pacifier….I run a home daycare and have other little ones that nap a little earlier then Owen, how do i let him scream and expect the others to sleep??????
My son, Hunter, is 15 months old and is sleeping in our bed. I usually rock him to sleep, because he screams horribly when I put him in his crib. Once asleep, I lay him down and sometimes it takes several tries. He will stay there for several hours and it seems has night terrors. He screams the most disturbing, shrill scream with eyes closed. He stops when he opens his eyes and seems stunned and confused. He easily falls back to sleep in our bed and stays there the remainder of the night. He often cries out and has to be touching or clinging to me.
We did what we had to do to function, and we fell into this trap and can’t seem to find out way out.
When he was 6 months or so, we tried putting him in his crib at bedtime just like we had been told to do, go in and reassure him and check on him. He screamed for 2 hours straight!! I couldn’t take it. He does not go down without a fight! Please help! Thank you
Dana,
My breast-fed 11 month old was doing okay- up once a night which I was fine with. Then when she started her latest round of teething, and then a cold, she is up 3-5 times a night and having difficulty napping. How can I help my daughter sleep better when she is so uncomfortable?
Thank you!
Aimee
My 2 year old daughter will only fall asleep if she is in her swing. After she falls asleep, I place her in her crib for the night. I try to put her in her crib while she is awake and she cries and then vomits. I have tried sitting with her to comfort her until she falls asleep, but no success. Please help my swinging baby, she is getting to old to continue this. Thanks, liz
My 12 month old cannot fall asleep on her own. We’ve tried the leave her alone in her crib, sit by her bedside, routine, everything. She will literally cry for HOURS! We end up rocking her then laying her down. Shortly thereafter she wakes up screaming histerically. She hasn’t been this bad in awhile. I truly think she’s terrified to be in her room by herself. We have a nightlight and have tried it with and without. When we sleep with her in our bed, she will sleep fine. How do we not make her scared of her own room?
Hi!
I have 11 month old twin girls who have kept me awake very much this year. ;-)
Falling asleep is never a problem, but waking up during the night definitely is!
One of them started to sleep the whole night without crying about two months ago and after a long time of keeping the other one quiet we now let them sleep in separate rooms. With Linn – the one that wakes up so often, I have tried almost everything. When she wakes up crying at might, usually around 2, I comfort her in her bed – no bottle or anything, just the pacifier. She falls asleep and five minutes later she wakes up again, crying. This goes on for about an hour (!), before she finally stops waking up. I have done this for many months now and I’m all exhausted! What else is there to do??
We have regular sleeping times during the day (about an hour in the morning and one and a half hours in the afternoon) and very consistent bed time routines…
Hi, I signed up a few months ago and then decided not to go through w/ your program. After trying a few things on my own I thought I might check back. My daughter is Lilly, she’s 11 months, is now sleeping in her own bed, falls asleep to nursing, being held, and on her own in her bed after being held for a time but put down while still awake. She naps in her crib w/out difficulty, as well (sometimes for 2 1/2 hours. I have cut out her afternoon nap). She generally likes her crib and loves to sleep w/ her stuffed dog. The issue is that she still wakes every 2-4 hours to be either nursed or helped back to sleep. I don’t mind getting up once a night to nurse her after she goes to bed around 8pm, but not the every 2-4 hours as mentioned above. I am a strong believer in attachment parenting. So if I am to buy into your program this must be factored in.
Thanks so much for your time, Dana.
Rae
hi i was wondering how your system works for toddlers who are already in a single bed with no way of keeping him there if he doesnt want to be there. As my son is 22mths old and has very rarely slept through and never sleeps more than 9 hrs a night. he is now in a single bed as we hoped this would help but it hasnt would your system work for him and how, as i need sleep as im half way through my second pregnancy.
Hi,
Our son is almost 2 1/2. He has been a great sleeper up until now. He climbs out of his crib so, we moved him into a toddler bed. We now are struggling for over an hour to get him to stay in his bed and to fall asleep before 9:30-10:00. He use to fall asleep on his own shortly after laying him down and sleep through the night and now he’s getting up once or twice and waking early in the morning. Please help!
Jodie