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If you’d rather read than watch, here’s a transcript of this week’s video:
Hi, I’m Dana and today, I want to talk a little bit about one of my pet peeves and that is crib toys. I think I can imagine a bunch of executives sitting around a board room wondering “Hmm, where can we stick more toys? Where can we convince parents they need more toys? I know, the crib. That’s a great place for toys!”
I’ve gone into clients houses and there is one of those aquariums attached to the cribs and there’s a very colorful mobile hanging above that makes all kinds of noises. They’ve got a light show that simulates ocean waves and there’s 20 different stuffies in there. Really, what bothers me about that is that if you are having sleep challenges as an adult, the number one rule is to make your bed a place where you go to really only sleep. You don’t read in bed anymore. You don’t watch TV in bed. You don’t work in your bed. You start sending your brain and body the message that your bed is for sleep.
That is what happens there. That’s where you’re going and I think the same is true for babies. The only time I ever put my children in the crib was when I wanted them to sleep. The message is you are here now. It is time to sleep. It is not time to play with your aquarium. It is not time to get over stimulated by your mobile. It’s not time to chew on six different toys or teething rings. It’s sleep time. Minimize what goes on in that environment.
Make it as boring as you can so that sleep will come sooner and more easily for your baby. The only thing that I ever recommend be in the crib is one soft ‘Lovey’ let’s call it, safe enough. It’s not big enough it’s going to land on her face. It’s cozy enough that she can cuddle it if she wants to. Most children will incorporate a Lovey of some kind into their strategies. My son, he had a giraffe and he held it and he played with the tag on the giraffe’s leg and that was his strategy for getting to sleep. He wore that tag right down to… There was only one string left and eventually, that was gone too.
A Lovey is OK. I encourage a Lovey buy otherwise, nothing else. Take all the other stuff out of there. There is loads of time in your baby’s day to play. Play is important but not when it’s time for sleep. Even throughout the day, if you need to put your baby down somewhere while you take a shower or answer the phone, a play pen is an OK second option or a baby chair or an ExcerSaucer. There’s load of places.
There’s no shortage of places to put a baby down for any length of time while you do something. Don’t use the crib. That should just be for sleep. If you are having any of your own struggles, you might put that into practice for yourself as well. You just make your bed a lovely place to go when you are tired and when you are ready to sleep. Thanks and sleep well.
How do you get your baby to start sleeping in the crib when she cries the entire time she is in the crib?
I have done a lot of research but found nothing about my child’s particular sleep problem. He went through the the Sleepsense program at six months old and slept beautifully pretty much every night until he turned 14 months. He is now 20 months. For the past 6 months he has woken during the night for about 2 hours at a time talking and talking and talking. This happens about 2 to 3 times per week.
It doesn’t happen at the same time each occurrence. It can be 9pm, 12am, 1.30am, 2am, 3am or even 4.30am. Sometimes he’ll wake with a small cry and then start talking very loudly. He says things like “see mummy, see daddy…dog woof woof, ha ha ha, cat meow meow, sheep, happy sheep, baa baa ha ha, where’s the water? under the couch?” then he will call out “mummy, water” this is quite loud until I bring him a drink. This goes on for about 2 hours. I can’t sleep through the noise. He usually only asks for a drink once the rest of the time he is talking and talking with a call out to me or his daddy thrown in from time to time.
He goes to bed at 7pm every night and is usually asleep by 7.15pm. If he sleeps through he wakes around 6am to 6.30am. He takes one nap per day which lasts about 1.5 hrs to 2 hours. If he has woken the previous night the nap time and morning wake up doesn’t change by much.
The biggest issue is he is very tired during the day and so am I. I feel like I can’t drive anywhere because I am so fatigued it is unsafe to drive.
Nothing we do during the night makes a difference. We might give him a short cuddle a couple of times during his awake time but put him back in the cot and say “shhh quiet now it’s sleep time”. This generally results in him copying what we say over and over again.
I can’t stand being so tired. But I feel there is nothing I can do to make it change. I would just like to know WHY. Why does this happen? I think an explanation would go a long way to bring peace to my mind.
Thank you so much
Liz
My 2 yrd old daughter was always a great napper and sleeper! Napped 2 hours a day and slept from 7-7. recently things have changed. ( she is still in her crib, b/c she has not yet attempted to get out, however, I am due with baby #2 in April and want to transition her to a “big girl bed” before April. I am very nervous about this by the way!!)
I put her down for a nap at her usual nap time 1ish. She is now laying up there until 3, talking, singing, etc. Because she is falling asleep at 3, she will sleep til 5, which is now interfering with bed time. Here usual time 7:30-8, she now will
lay in her crin til 9-10. it is just throwing everything off. I am really torn on what to do? I would hate to have her give up her nap, b/c I feel like she really is tired. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!
My 8 month old baby boy sweats profusely through the night, during naps and when falling asleep while nursing. Could this be interfearing with his sleep as he now wakes up every 1-2 hours since he was 6 months old. It has nothing to do with being too warm because he will sweat even if the room is chilly. We notice he is starting to get tired when the sides of his head get sweaty.
He only sleeps with nursing and cries and wakes up when transferring him to his crib.
He is healthy.. No issues, happy during the day but has just started to have separation anxiety when we put him down.
My husband and I tried the non CIO method by putting him in his crib and comforting him by talking and patting but he cried for the 2 hours, woke our neighbors and lost his voice the next day. That was with picking him up every 5-10 mins and never leaving his side
My 8 month old baby boy hasn’t slept through the night for two months, he used to sleep 7pm-7am no problem. Our sleep schedule turned upside down when he turned 6 months old and new teeth came through. He would cry every hour forcing me to eventually bring him into bed with us so i can nurse him to sleep. Now he has eight beautiful little teeth and is no longer teething but has established a habit of falling asleep only by nursing, and being in someone’s arms. Like you mentioned in a pervious email, he is using us as his “pillow” when asleep if we try to put him in his crib he arches his back kicks and screams then we have to put him to sleep all over again. We tried your non CIO method by putting him in his crib and staying at his side to comfort him and pick him up when he felt distressed but he screamed for the two hours and lost his voice the next day. We ended up taking him into bed with us again. Should I keep trying? The only problem is that we live in an apartment and I’m afraid to wake our neibours by allowing him to CIO so that’s usually why I give in.
I think he has separation anxiety, through the day he has now started crying when we put him down to walk just a few feet away.
Also when falling asleep and when asleep he sweats profusely! I mean drops of sweat rolling off my arm and soaking the mattress. His swearing has nothing to do with temperature as he would still sweat if he was in a cold room. I think this disrupts his sleeping too because he gets cold and uncomfortable.
Any advise for our dilemma ?
On a regular day he is happy very well behaved regardless of him not letting us put him down. He naps 2-3 times during the day with a nursing and transferring method. Naps range 30-60mins
I’m looking forward to hearing back from you.
How do I make nap time a longer period of time?
My baby 8 months old takes three naps: 9am 1pm and the last one around 4pm. He is placed fully awake and they last about 45min to 1hour. Is that efficient?
Hi my 4mth baby only catnaps during the day.He will only sleep for 40min at a time. I know that this is not sufficient sleep as he becomes overtired by the end of day and is not a happy baby.
Is there away that I can solve his catnapping?
Watch him on a monitor, pay attention around the time he wakes up. as soon as you see him moving rush in and sooth him back to sleep eventually he will learn
Please let me know how I can get my 8 month old baby nap without feeding rocking to him. The Ferber method only work for him to sleep through the night.
I have been using the ferber method for one week and it seems to work for the night. My 8 month old sleeps 10 hours through the night, however he it does not seem to work for the nap times. and nap time I Ferber him for 1 hour only but he still will not sleep. I need help!
there is no other easy way to put him to sleep, either you soothe him or let him cry. Try not to traumatize your poor baby with all the crying. a baby is not perfect nor can you make it be thankful he sleeps at night at least love him at nap time. he is a baby this is your job to love and soothe him he has his whole life to learn to sleep.
hi,
I have a son who just turned 4months. Can I expect him at this age to sleep 11 hours at night or is he too young?
Hello Dana,
How do I get my 9 month old daughter off her pacifier ? And also, how do I keep her from standing up on her crib and crying at bedtime ?
Thanks.
how do we do activties during the day without having to adhere to a sleeping schedule?
My seven week old daughter will not nap during the day. She has couple cat naps for 15-20 minutes but that is it. By 5 pm she is screaming from being tired. She used to sleep longer during the day with the soother but she woke up during the night every two hours asking for it. I took it away and now she sleeps from 8 to 2 am or 4 am and then wakes up around 7 am. I’m pretty content with the night, she mostly goes to sleep by herself. She cried herself to sleep for two nights in a row and now sleeps better and longer. I do have a routine, bath, bottle and then sleep for the night.
For her naps, I do not have any prop, I put her in basinet to sleep. I did try the pick up when crying histerically and then soothing her. When I put her down she starts screaming immediately. I tried this for 3 hours straight and then she was hungry from all the screaming. I know that naps are harder to conquer but what am I doing wrong? And the problem is that when I pick her up it takes her at least 15 min to calm down, it seems that she gets even more mad that I pick her up. I know that she’s soo tired…what should I do?
My baby is almost 5 months now. He can’t fall asleep on his own. I have to rock him, or nurse him. Sometimes that doesn’t even work. He fights sleep so badly. When he finally gets to sleep he doesn’t sleep for very long. Still waking up every 2-3 hours. We’ve tried him in his crib, going in to comfort him every 10 minutes, but the more he cries, the worse it gets. He doesn’t give in. His crying is now disturbing my almost 2 year old in the middle of the night now. Don’t know what else to try anymore. How can I get him to self soothe?
My 7 mo. old has recently been sleep trained and is now sleeping through the night. Now he’s only napping 40 minutes at a time and the third nap is too close to bedtime. We’ve tried eliminating the third nap, but end up with a very tired baby who wakes up 40 minutes after we put him down at bedtime. When this happens he’ll cry for over an hour. Naps are in quiet, dark room with a noise machine and he falls asleep unassisted. Help!
My baby is three weeks old, since three days ago he has a hard time following sleep after his feeding or he wont sleep at all at night.
What can I do? When is the perfect age to start a bed routine?
Thank you
My question:at four months my son gets up every two hours to the minute to feed during the night.i think he’s hungry, not sure . But I know try to give him the pacifier when he wakes up. Am I doing the right thing? Is he really hungry? I try to calm him with the pacifier instead of my breast as much as possible during the night since I got him on this bad habit to nurse and then fall back asleep. He’s four months and eighteen pounds
I also have a 4month old, 2nd child, and know exactly what you mean. I don’t know your sleeping situation but i co sleep. If you lay right next to him, he will smell you and want to nurse, so you have to keep your distance. He probably is hungry but more so every 4 hours so push the pacifier. bad habit or not at this age either you let him cry or give him your boob or pacifier. When he gets older and you sleep with him and he doesnt really need night feedings wear a tight bra to bed so subconsciously you dont feed him. he will cry and then just cuddle with him shushing him. he will cry for a minute or 2 but it wont be bad cuz he is more so complaining but at the same time you are consoling him. eventually it cuts out the middle of the night feedings. I gave the morning ones to keep them sleeping . before you know it he will be a year old and it won’t be an issue so don’t fret enjoy the time with him just give him the pacifier you will know if he is hungry he wont let you sleep
Hi, my 22 month old which has slept thorough the night and in his own crib since he was 4 months old has been taking one nap since he was around 17 months old. They range in length from 2-3 hrs and he sleeps about 12 hours a night and never wakes up during that time. He goes down around 730 and is up by about the same time in the morning. 2-1\2 weeks ago he just started refusing his nap in the afternoon. He actually jumped from his crib in a fit of crying ( which was really scary). He is obviously tired as he lays his head on my shoulder and sucks his thumb but the moment I put him in his crib he freaks out. I have never had this problem with him and I am exhausted tring everything to get him to sleep. He has fallen asleep twice on his own after 45 min of crying and twice in my bed. I am trying to implement quite time but he just doesn’t get it. He simply freaks out when I leave the room. Today I experimented and tried sitting I the room and never spoke or made eye contact and he played for 45 minutes in his crib. The moment I got up he started screaming and attmepting to get out of his crib again. I am at such a loss as to what to do. Isn’t he too young for the toddler bed? Does anyone have any sage advice? we both need the down time but I have no idea what to do from here. Many blessings!
Hi, I don’t know if this will help but I take my son in my bed and read to him very softly. I usually pick a long book. sometimes it takes 30 minutes but its nice bonding time and least he gets his nap. If you are uncomfortable wit the adult bed maybe try a toddler bed, he can do naps there and the crib at night they are pretty small. Its worth a try.
My 11 week old has a hard time staying asleep. It sometimes takes a long time to put her to sleep (mostly during the day) and once she’s in her crib, she’ll wake up 10 minutes later. This happens pretty often and is very frustrating. I feel like all I do is feed her and try to put her to sleep. It also appears that it helps her to fall asleep having my breast, bottle, or pacifier. Sometimes, she’ll only take cat naps throghout the day and not have one real nap which leads her to be overtired when it comes to bed time at 7:30pm.
Can you offer any assistance please????
I have a toddler sleep in the next room from my 5 month old so if I let her cry during the night to put herslf back to sleep, it wakes him up and nobody gets sleep. So what sould I do?
I use whitenoise for my toddler, I have it playing on my ipod for her through the night. It blocks out other noise and she does not hear the baby crying or if anyone uses the toilet next to her room in the night.
My son is 7 months and all of a sudden he has gone from sleeping through the night around 7pm till 7am to waking up too early ( between 4.30 and 5.30) at first I thought it was teething but it’s been going on for 3 weeks now and it’s roughly the same time every night. I try to hold him off to feed him for as long as possible as don’t want him getting used to a night feed again ! I haven’t had to do that since he was around 2 months. How should I deal with this ? I am starting back at work in 2 weeks so dreading having to work and having and being so tired too!
Karen
my 7 months old son has 3 bears in his crib and that was to make him love being there but he doesnt want them there and he wont even sleep in there for more than an hour 30 mins. so every night, i wake up more than 7 times at night and to make life easier for me, he now sleep in my bed but it still has not stopped him from waking up at night. it just makes it easier for me to cuddle him back to sleep. please help.
Hi my question is my kids go down easy every night my 8 mnth 630 my nearly 3 year old 8pm n most nights sleep through my problem is they both wake up every morning around 5am how can I get them to sleep longer in the mornings
I found with my son who is 13 months old needed to be bundled up and cozy. He used to sleep under 11 hours and then I realized he was probably cold when he started sleeping 10 and a half hours. Now he sleeps 12 hours a night.
Great advice
My son is 4 in december an still waking through the night and climbs into bed with me! How can i get him to sleep allnight please help!!!! x
I just want to thank-you for your help. I followed your suggestion on a regular routine . Dinner, play,bathe,bottle and alittle more play bedtime 7:30. I have been following this routine for one year my now 18 month old has been sleeping all night since 7 months.
My 13 month old daughter will not sleep in her crib for more than 3 hours at a stretch. I am worried she will wake up her 3 year old sister which she shares a room with if I don’t go in right away. She ends up sleeping with my husband and I which isnt great either. My pediatrician says to try the Ferbe method, but am not crazy about that. That would keep everyone up at night. Don’t know what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you
I agree that when the baby is young that no toys is the way to go. But now that my twins are 2.5 years old, I always send them to bed with a few toys that they pick (usually some hot wheels cars with my son and a few dolls with my daughter) and they play quietly and then go to sleep. It also helps in the morning…they will play quietly for 30 mins before calling for me.
My 2 1/2 year old goes to bed around 8pm (sometimes 7 or 7:30), gets up between 5 and 5:20am every morning. And he wakes up 1 to 3 times a night 4 to six nights a week, the other nights he makes it all night long. He goes down with no soothers, no rocking-all & by himself & he goes to sleep easily-it’s just in the middle of the night when he wakes & when he does, I re-lay him down, and he goes right back down immediately. I’d be up for some ideas too. Thank you.
Does he have his two-year molars yet? Could he be in pain?
I think he has all of his teeth~he has two big ones on each side of his mouth, top and bottom: 8 big teeth all together. I don’t think he’s in pain, ’cause I just run on downstairs, he’s standing when I open the door & he lays down even with out my help most of the time; I re-cover him with the blanket & he stays quiet and goes back to sleep.
What time is his nap and how long is the nap?
His average nap is 11am or noon & he sleeps about an hour & 1/2.
Is he too hot or cold?
He doesn’t get sweaty; but I do have to re-cover him with the blanket; but I keep the heat at 71 degrees all night long. His hands don’t seem cold either.
we have the exact same problem with our little guy – he was sleeping right through 10 hours straight from about 12 mos and then a week shy of his 2nd birthday he started waking up during the night and calling for us, but like your little guy, he settles relatively quickly with no pick-ups, etc but it feels like a regression because he’s up every 3-4 hours it seems…not sure what to do about it – he’s going down with no sleep props so presumably he should be able to get himself back to sleep as it’s the same enviroment as when he fell asleep? Help!!!? It’s been going on like this for over a month now….
Did you ever figure out how to get your little one sleeping all night long yet? My little guy sleeps in a big boy bed now & well…I don’t know how to teach him to stay in his bed; I almost spanked him in the middle of the other night after several get ups in a row, but when I threatened he didn’t get up again. I have given him a spanking at the beginning of bed time when he wouldn’t stay in bed & that helped…but I don’t feel like I can really do that in the middle of the night, because how would he know it’s not morning with it being dark outside when it’s morning in the winter anyway.
My baby is 9 month old. My problem is she has never slept on her own either I sleep on the same bed with her or carry her before she will sleep. If I dont do any of these then she will never sleep and cry the whole day. Im worried about her. Pls help me
I can totally understand where you are coming from my 7 month old hasn’t slept a full nite and instead of him improving his seems to be getting worse. he now wakes on average 5 to 7 times a nite i also have 3 other children that i dont want to disturb, so im not sure how to attack this problem either also my husband works away alot.
my 11 months baby is the same , he needs rocking or feeding to go to sleep, otherwise he doesn’t know how and it has never happened for me to see that he slept with out me even in the car or pushchair, trough the night he wakes up every one or one hour and 30 min, this is my first child, I am truly tired and I don’t have any family here to help me and I don’t know what to do please advice me ..i need it extremely
thanks
My 2 year old has started getting up at 5:30 EVERY day. He used to sleep until 6:30. I’ve tried adjusting his bedtime but he’s up the same time no matter what. I understand it just may be his biological clock, but just confused why all of a sudden? Nothing different in his routine otherwise. Is he too young to try the clock method, of telling him that ‘wake up’ time is 7 on the clock? I also don’t want him lacking in sleep as his nap at daycare is at 12:30. Anyone have ideas??
Did his change in wake up time happen when we changed the clocks from daylight savings time? If so, then 5:30 now is the old 6:30… Have you tried putting him to sleep a little earlier?
we taught our son the number seven at 19 months. He turns three in february and we still wake up every morning to our son-the-alarm- clock, “papa, it is seven!!!!”. he is often awake before, but never gets out of his bed and rarely calls for us before he sees the seven.