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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question comes from Lisa:
“Adam is five and a half months old and has been pretty good during the day but still isn’t sleeping through the night. He wakes about four times a night; his longest sleep is three hours. My girlfriend says it’s because I’m breastfeeding. How do I get him to sleep through the night?”
Okay, I do not feel the fact that he’s breastfeeding has anything to do with it. It makes me laugh a little bit when people say that formula-fed babies sleep through the night faster than breastfed babies do. You know, I just don’t find that that’s the case. If formula is going to buy you any extra time, it’s usually only an hour.
It’s funny because it’s not meant to be in their stomach. It doesn’t last forever and it might be a little bit more difficult to digest and last a little bit longer, but not much. So instead of every three hours, you might be getting up every four, which still isn’t great, okay? So erase that from your mind. It has nothing to do with your breastfeeding. Let’s see if we can work this out.
My guess is that he breastfeeds to sleep and that might be more the issue that you’re dealing with Lisa; he’s using breastfeeding as his vehicle back into sleep probably at bedtime and definitely through the night. Now, you haven’t mentioned his weight but I’m just going to assume that he is a healthy happy five and a half month old.
In my experience, I have seen many five and half month olds who can sleep all night and by all night, I mean 12 hours without a feeding. That may be something you want to discuss with your doctor to see if you have the green light on that. Definitely, how you feed needs to change a little and I would start at bedtime. Set up a nice bedtime routine that’s step-orientated so that his mind and body fall into line and it becomes predictable for him, every night is the same.
If there is a feed in the routine somewhere make sure that he stays awake through the feed, okay. A lot of people and even people who write to me and say, “Well, she falls asleep during the feed but then I wake her up after the fact.” You really can’t even do that, especially if you’re trying to break a nurse-sleep association.
Why let her fall asleep there? It almost doesn’t seem fair because she falls asleep at the breast but you don’t let her stay there; you wake her up. That can really frustrate a baby. What you want to do is break the connection that feeding has anything to do with sleep at all. Yes, it’s a nice lovely time, its cuddle time with mom, it’s feeding, but that’s only two jobs. It shouldn’t be involved with sleep at all.
So make sure he stays awake through the feed, tickle him, talk to him, take him on and off whatever you have to do to keep him with you and then he goes to his crib awake. Your first goal is to get him to fall asleep without relying on you at bedtime. I would suggest the ‘stay in the room’ method. It’s outlined in the program, moving every three days until you’re out of the room and letting him learn how to do this more independently.
Then for the night awakenings, you might just want to see how it goes. Often by just teaching a baby the skills he needs for getting to sleep at bedtime changes the whole atmosphere of the night, meaning the stretches start to get longer and longer naturally until a month from now, they’re not there anymore at all. That would be the best scenario. For many people, I say, well, why don’t you just see what happens? Really focus on the bedtime part and then kind of let the night emerge on its own and see how it goes.
There’s no reason why he needs four feedings a night. I think we can all agree that that’s too many. So I’d cut it down to one, two at the most, and you might decide yourself what times those are and when they’re going to happen.
Don’t nurse him back to sleep in the night either because you don’t want him to think, “I’ll do it myself at bedtime and then I’ll take the easy road all through the rest of the night.” You really want him to master his skill and use it 100% of the time.
So do the same thing. Turn on the light, watch him, poke him, tickle him, and talk to him, whatever you have to do to keep him awake through the night feed then back to the crib awake. Give it a week or two, and if nights are improving, great! You’re on the right track don’t worry.
If they’re not improving, meaning he’s still up randomly four times a night and nothing is really improving or it feels worse, then you know that the feeding is probably the issue. He can’t quite figure out what’s going on.
Sometimes he wakes up and gets a feed, other times he wakes up and he doesn’t. Some babies can become confused by that wake up randomly all over the place wondering, “It is feed time isn’t it? I don’t know I’m going to see what happens.” If that’s the case, you’ll have to consider the option of just pulling his night feeds cold turkey and just getting him consistently sleeping through the night.
Those are your two options. It starts with bedtime and then the night follows, so I encourage you to get started. Thanks a lot for your question and sleep well.
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To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
My 6 month old wakes up in terrible pain once at 11pm and again at 4am every night for the last month. He has always had a lot of gas and farts all day. I can only think it’s trapped wind but nothing can get it up and even pushing his legs into his tummy doesn’t work anymore. I massage it and few fart come out but then he wakes again. I end up feeding him to calm him down as by that time i’m so tired and he ends up with more wind.
So far my 11 week old can outcry the sleep sense program into day two. He cried through the first two naps attempts both days. We are attempting the pick up put down method. He continues screaming when you pick him up and at times the only way to calm him is to give him the soother (this is our last resort and does not always work). We take it away from him while he is still awake. The first day we tried the car seat and drive which only gave us 10 minutes of sleep. We came home and had to sleep him on us to get a little. He is colic and does not fall asleep/stay asleep in car seat, stroller, or swing. He eventually just starts screaming. Last night he fell asleep on 2 occasions for approx 30 min but basically cried through until 2 am (started at 8 pm) at which point we just put him to sleep like we normally do on us and then transferred him to crib. He appears to have an issue making it from the light/rem sleep into the deep sleep as this appears to be a constant in night and daytime sleep. We are frustrated and scared as our little guy has slept through the night from day one 5-7 hours from day one and for the last month weeks 9-11 hours. We have always been consistent with night sleep, always in his crib, and in the beginning first 3 weeks I would lay him down slightly groggy and after a few mild cries and squawks he would fall asleep and I wouldn’t hear from him until morning. If he awoke in the night it was for gas cramps or a feed which only happened rarely (maybe 4 times), he would go back down just as easy. When his colic starting kicking up at 3.5 weeks (including constant hiccups and reflux) we started feeding him to sleep, holding him upright on us 20-30 min, transfer to crib and then we wouldn’t hear from him for 10 or 11 hours. We don’t want to fix something that isn’t broken, or break something that has been working for so long as I fear we are wrecking what was our constant routine. We started the program due to his issues with day sleep because he does not do well with the REM/light sleep, so his naps were constantly short. Our only solution for getting him decent naps was to have him sleep on one of us so we could quickly get him back to sleep when he wakes slightly from a shorter nap. This day sleep ensured he was not getting overtired during the day and that his night sleep continued to get longer. So my question after all this is if he continues to cry out and only have such brief naps, and if he cries and does not fall asleep for longer than 30 min at night (and keeps us going until 4 am) should we continue the program just for day sleep, but put him to sleep as we normally do at night because it is working for now. We are so afraid of wrecking the night sleep we have as well as having an extremely overtired and miserable child. When he stays up so late at night I have no choice but to feed him. I am starving the later I am up I assume he would be the same. So I am scared he will get used to being fed in the night if he cries if we continue. He is absolutely miserable without sleep – cries enough as it is due to the colic. Any assistance/guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Alyson
My son is 14 weeks old. He suffers from mild reflux. He feeds during the day and night every 3 hrs, at night it takes nearly an hour for the feeds as I am holding him upright for 20 minutes for his reflux. He falls asleep on me at night. What else can I do? I would like him to be settling himself in his cot as he is now struggling with this during the day. And how can I get him to feed less at night?
I have a 2yr old who still is nursing at night and at nap tome. He wakes 3-4 times at night, nurses and goes back to sleep. After 2+ years of little sleep I can take no more. What would be the best way to wean his night nursing? I am desperate for sleep. Our other 2 children were not like this. He has a very strong will.
Hi Dana,
For the past 3 weeks, my 5 month has been falling asleep on his own, at all times, I put him in bed awake and he falls asleep within 10 minutes (his afternoon nap is more challenging though, sometimes takes 30-40 minutes) but regardless, in general it is going well. However, his naps are still only 30-40 minutes. His naps are not timed right after feedings, they are in between feeds, but I have to admit that he always wants to fall asleep on the breast because he has not had enough sleep and when I get distracted, I look down to see he fell asleep so I wake him for him to continue feeding but he sometimes does get upset when I pull him off if he is really tired. Could this be the problem?? He is fine at night and some mornings, at his 8:30am nap (1 out of 6 times) he will take a long nap (1.5 hours) so it’s doable. He wakes once or twice at night and has a 7pm to 7am schedule so I feed him then. Why can’t he sleep longer during the day? He has the skills to transition between sleep cycles but he just doesn’t. Is he just built this way?
Tanya from Montreal
Our beautiful little Millie is now 5 months old and is often waking at 5am, sometimes she’ll go through until 6:30am, after her dream feed at 10:00pm, but usually 5ish. She cannot be settled back to sleep, yet will only feed for a few minutes before falling asleep and sleeping until 7:15am when we wake her to start the day.
We have followed the same routine as our son’s routine (he was sleeping from 7:00pm until 8:00am from 12 weeks, bliss) yet Millie really will not allow us to settle her at 5:00am.
Millie goes down for every sleep awake (apart from at 5:30am) and self settles quite easily, she just cannot be convinced to go back to sleep at 5:00am. We have left her to cry out softly for nearly an hour until she becomes a little too hysterical. We have raced into her room to try and settle her before she really wakes up, but all to no avail.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciates.
Heidi from Australia.
Hi! I’ve used the sleep sense program since Chelsey, my daughter was less than 3 months old. All worked great! :) Now she is 4. Please help me with the bedtime routine as it’s taking an hour to put her to bed! Routine: 6:30ish – put on pj’s; brush teeth; wash hands and face; (there is lots of running around, back and forth, fooling around going on and I often have to start counting to get her to settle down to the task at hand.) Then we read a story and I lie down with her in bed, i.e. to snuggle. We chat for a few minutes and then I try to leave and she says one more minute…and then I stay one more minute – then hugs and kisses and I leave the room. 10 minutes later she’s calling me – can’t sleep, wants to snuggle, had started to have a bad dream etc. So I snuggle again and the same routine again where when I try to leave – she wants 1 more minute. Sometimes she wakes in the middle of the night and it’s the same routine. Anyway, it’s taking an hour some nights before I can be rest assured that I can go on with my evening. She almost always says she’s scared. And yes she has seen some Disney movies…so…
Anyway, please help! (I’ve also snuggled with her this way to support her in stopping her thumb sucking – I haven’t seen her do it for a long time, but I see marks on her thumbs so I know she’s started again…somewhat) Thank you!!! Tracey Whitmore
My daughter Addison is 2 & 1/2, we sold our house in July quicker than expected and had to move in with my parents. Before we moved Addison was going to bed by 8:30 and had a good sleep routine in place because of your techniques and sleepsense guide. But everything fell apart when we moved. She became a co-sleeper and wouldn’t sleep in her toddler bed any longer. She started sleeping with me and my husband and has been since July. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned and we didn’t move to our own home as quickly as expected. We are ready to move this week and I am panicking about how to get my daughter back to a normal sleep schedule and back in her soon to be new room. I know this is a major change for a child and I have no idea how to handle this. PLEASE HELP!! Thank YOU!! (Karen)
Hi. My daughter has just turned one. For the first 4 months of her life she was very distressed, 24 hours a day. The problem turned out to be a milk protein allergy. Once she was on the right formula she settled but was left with MAJOR sleep problems. Over the past 8 months we have made slow steady progress in trying to resolve these issues. Isabelle has a good bed time routine and falls asleep independently at 7pm. She sleeps well until 2am. She then cries on and off until morning. Some nights I get up around 3 times. The most I do is say sh sh sh and cover her back up. She will settle quickly but not for long. Other nights I don’t go to her at all and she will settle herself, but not for long! I don’t know what my next step should be.
Hi Dana
I have a 10 month old baby, my problem is that she has trouble, she cries and cries and then finally she falls asleep with a bottle. I’m giving her 4 to 6 ounces I don’t know if that is enough cause. She takes a nap in the afternoon not at the same time everyday because I work and the babysitter says she sleeps different hours everyday. At night she wakes up like 4 or 5 times and the only way she goes back to sleep is with a bottle ( 4 oz) I’m tired because like I told you I work and I don’t rest enough but I’m really worried about her cause she doesn’t rest properly at all. I don’t know what to do, let her cry and cry but I have tried it and she cries and doesn’t stop for hours so I do not know how to handle the situation anymore. Thank you
My baby Reid is a little over 3 weeks. He will not sleep in his crib. I lay him down when he’s asleep and he will be crying in about 15 minutes. I swaddle him in a blanket so he will feel safe. What else can I do so he will sleep in his bed and I can get some sleep?
I don’t know if you can help me – but I’m hoping! My son (7 and a half months old) is a great napper – 2 solid naps a day. We have a great bedtime routine and he goes to sleep without complaint between 6 and 7pm every night. Our problem is that he wakes up crying about 4am every morning and he’ll complain and cry for a half hour or more unless I get up and feed him (he’s still breastfeeding). Once he eats, he’ll go back to sleep and wakes up happy about 7am. How can I wean him off this morning feed? Or should I? Will he just naturally wean himself off of it?
Any advice is welcome.
Groggily,
Tina Morris
Maia is nearly 4 months old, breastfed, a healthy weight and currently waking up to 4 times a night. I don’t feed her every time she wakes, depending on how long it’s been I’ll often resettle her by putting the dummy back in. I know she’s happy to go at least 5 or 6 hrs between feeds so I think it’s an issue with resettling, not hunger. I put her to sleep awake during the day and at bedtime but during night feeds she falls asleep at the end of a feed and I put her in her cot already asleep, is this wrong? She also uses a dummy to fall asleep and then needs our help to find it during the night when it falls out (this is also the case during day sleeps – after a 35minute sleep cycle, she wakes and needs the dummy again). I’d rather not use a dummy for this reason but have been unsuccessful in getting her to sleep without it – how can I get her off the dummy??
Thank you!
my 5 month old wakes up once but i would like her to sleep later she generally wakes up around four am and i want to push it to at least 530 to 6 am which i do know 4am is pretty good. but im not sure how to accomplish it. i let my son cry it out which worked for him but im not so sure it will with my daughter
Hi! I have a tricky situation as I have 3 little boys under the age of 3 (none multiples) and a 2 bedroom house. Presently, my 4 month old (who is healthy and 17 lbs) is in a crib beside my bed as I don’t want him to wake his brothers by putting him in their room. He takes a bottle every 3-4 hours around the clock, and now won’t settle well after the feeds in the night. I have resorted to swaddling (which of course he gets out of) and a soother (which of course falls out) but because I am afraid of him waking everyone else in our small home, I tend to him quickly. I still wonder if he doesn’t need 1 feed in the night, so when I did try your program a few weeks ago, he went to sleep well, but when he woke, I fed him once and then decided that was it. Unfortunately, it was a horrible night, when he woke again and I was determined he didn’t need a feed, he screamed for over 2 hours, even with me there trying to console him! I am exhausted and becoming a horrible wife and mom to my other 2 kids. Please help!
we have a 1 year old boy Jake who he was settled as regards his bedtime sleeps. Unfortunately, Jake was ill for about 2 weeks and during his nights we kept ending up bringing him from his bed to ours putting him between us. Now that his illness has passed, he is refusing and protesting heavily even for more than an hour for not to sleep back into his bed.
Dana can you please help us on this since keeping him crying isn’t helping convincing him to sleep in his bed as it was originally doing.
[Reply]
we have a 1 year old boy Jake who he was settled as regards his bedtime sleeps. Unfortunately, Jake was ill for about 2 weeks and during his nights we kept ending up bringing him from his bed to ours putting him between us. Now that his illness has passed, he is refusing and protesting heavily even for more than an hour for not to sleep back into his bed.
Dana can you please help us on this since keeping him crying isn’t helping convincing him to sleep in his bed as it was originally doing.
My daughter is 7 months old, and my problem is I get her to sleep by nursing her, and this is a habit that I need to break so that she can fall asleep on her own, but I don’t know how to go about it. After getting her pajamas on, I start nursing her around 8, and she will gradually fall asleep.. then I cannot seem to get her to burp, so I put her down, and about an hour after I put her down, she wakes up and cries.. I pick her up and of course she has a burp. I nurse her for a few minutes, and then she’s back to sleep.. Then she’s truly out for the night and sleeps until 7:30am. She generally takes 2 half-hour naps a day, one at about 10:30 and another between 4:30 and 5:30.
I know that I should really put her down while she’s awake, but tt seems like she needs that feeding before bed, but I just know this routine as to be broken. Any suggestions would be truly helpful! Thank you!!!
My 5 month old was waking every couple hours. I would nurse him – sometimes he was actually hungry, sometimes not. Sometimes I felt I wasn’t “producing” enough so he was waking often to eat. Now, after reading that a 5 month old who is healthy and >14lbs does not need to eat overnight, I am getting with the program. This the the third night of a routine including eating around 7:20 and crib at 7:30. He went to sleep beautifully tonight. My question is about night feeding. The last two nights (and plan for tonight) is to feed him if he wakes around 10-11pm but not again until 6am. Is this too harsh? Should I allow one more feeding at 2am? If not, when he wakes crying at 2 and/or 4, should I pick him up after waiting 10 minutes, if just to check him diaper and calm him or not pick him up at all?
Hi, my daughter just turned a year old and i was wondering why she wasn’t sleeping through the night! She wakes up atleast once a night if not more and I dont know why! what should i do!
hi, my baby is now 1yr, she slept through each night from about 10pm til 7/8am every night from 6weeks til 7 months we started mixed feeding at 6months!she has breast feeds too. since 7mnths we have been unable to get her to sleep for naps or into own cot at night this is getting worse she screams when put in cot,no amount of stroking reasurrance ect is helping she appears to have developed a fear of the cot.is this possible?
Hi Dana
Thanks you for some good advice.
My son Anton is now 7 months and sleeps in our bed. He use to suffer from reflux, colic an had a broken colarbone at birth. I had to nurse him most of the days and nights.
He is now feeding evey 40min – 1.5 hours evey night for beween 5-30 minutes. If I don’t give him the beast or pick him up when he wakes up he will scream an cry until he can not breath. I am exhausted and is going back to work in 3 weeks. please help, what can I do?
thank you
My son is 10 weeks old and doesn’t sleep through what I would call the night but other babies his age are doing a good stretch of at least 8 hours. He has a routine of bed at 10/10.30pm and will sleep roughly 5/5and half hours until next feed and then does another 5/5 and half hours. During the day he will feed 5oz every 3-4 hours. How can I get him going for a longer stretch at night
I am interested to hear the answer to this one. When I hear stuff like this, my immediate reaction is “a 10-week old should not sllep through the night! They need to eat!” But I may be wrong and my thinking may have led to what I have now – a 5 month old that wakes a lot and needs to snack to go back to sleep. I believe newborns should be fed on demand, day and night, at first. When is the age/weight that it is appropriate to start expecting/training for “through the night” or >5 hour stretches?
HI Megan,
Currently Harry is feeding once in the night after a 5 hour stretch (it was 6 last night!) Some people call sleeping through the night 12 til 5 but my idea is very different-I’d expect at least 8 hours. The only reason I ask this question on here is because I here other mum’s boasting their baby was sleeping through at 6, 7, 8 weeks and am thinking if other babies can do it then maybe mine can too
Gabriel which is 3 months old going on 4 on the 14th sleeps from 8pm til 4am sometimes and i give him a bottle and put him to bed but then he’s up at 5am and we have to rock him because he will persist until we get him. He does not nap long enough, the most 30 minutes…
Hi Dana,
I have a 4 yr old that I had to lie down with to fall asleep till finally I told him mommy can’t (just started 2 days ago) but now I sit on his bed till he falls asleep (which is only 2 mins) HOWEVER, now when he hollars for me through the night (3-5 times) I have to sit on his bed till he falls asleep and it takes anywhere from 15 -45 mins… I know that I am barely funcitoning so I can only imagine how he is feeling… please send me some advise. Did I start a bad thing by sitting on his bed with him till he’s out?
Thanks,
Kristina
Hi Dana,
My son Jakub is 14 months old and still does not sleep through the night. We had very traumatic birth and I was warned that Jakub would be unsettled for a few weeks. He was very jittery which looked horribly.He used to have reflux until 11 months and was on medication until that time as well. He always had sleep problems but only during the day, he fell asleep for 3 to 5 minuts and he was constantly overtired. We hardly ever went out for the first three months, except for walks twice a day, which wasn’t any pleasure as well as Jakub was usually crying instead of sleeping calmly. After the first month we became very isolated because Jakub was sensitive to almost everything, too much light, too much noise, too many people etc. and since he was such a poor sleeper I wanted to provide the best possible conditions for him to be able to sleep. Having said all that I must say that he always fell asleep on his own, never wanted to be carried around or rocked. I guess he was so exhausted at the end of each day that he slept better at night. I have always been very careful with routine. He always went to sleep before 7 pm and woke up at 2 and 5 only for a feed and slept till 7 am. As soon as he started teething, around 5 months, he started waking up more often, but I did not want to feed him that often so I just try to sit next to his cot and helped him go back to sleep, he used to have a soother. Ater some time he was not able to fall asleep on his own any more, I tried to leave him to cry for a while and came to check on him, but he became really frustrated and because I knew he was in so much pain, I mean teething and reflux, that I just could not leave him alone. As the time passed Jakub started waking up 15 to 20 times a night, and once he woke up at about 2 am he usually could not go back to sleep for about 2 hours. I became so exhausted that I started to take him to my bed from time to time, which did not help him to go back to sleep, it just helped me to have a little bit of rest. Now because his reflux is gone, I am assuming he should sleep better, but I guess he has this bad habit of waking up. I have read your book and started to teach him to fall asleep on his own again, I chose the ‘stay in room’ method. I am really concerned as it is getting worse and I don’t know if this is normal? It’s been seven days since we started, for the first 5 nights Jakub was up the longest for an hour, but on day six he was up for three hours, crying terribly, and the next day he did not even wanted to have a nap. I thought he would be exhausted, but he was happy all day long, acting nicely. Last night he kept waking up all night long to finally get up at 6am for good. I have no idea where does he get the energy from to be so active, but I am hoping it will eventually get better if we stay consistent. Please advise me on what to do next?
Thank you.
Hi kate, when my Payton was that age and we were doing the “stay in the room method” she acted similarly so we used to tell her, “Lay down or mommy is going to leave, ” or “If you will lay down and not cry mommy will stay with you.” Once she was laying down and not crying she would drift off pretty quickly. Of course I had to fake leaving a few times (just stepped outside of the room) so she would know I meant business. Sometimes she would keep standing up or crying and I would poke my head back in and say “I’ll come back if you lay down.” Don’t know if that will help. Goodluck.
Hi Mary,
Thank you very much for your reply. I actually tried that few times, but I wasn’t sure if he understood what I said because he was crying histerically and did not seem to be listening at all. But if that worked for you, I will definitely try again and be more consistent with it.
Thank you again.
We have a 2 year old and we’re due to have another baby in 7 weeks. We used your program with our first when she was 14 months old (to get her out of our bed) and it was a challenge – we have a very determined child – but it worked! 2 months ago she got the chicken pox, which made her become very needy and she would not sleep in her crib. I tried to stick to the program, but screaming till 3am for a pregnant Mom just wasn’t working. (Dad works out of town 20 out of every 30 days). She developed a very strong aversion to it somehow and almost goes into convulsions she cries so hard when she’s in there. Needless to say, she has been in our bed since and we haven’t been able to get her back in the crib. It’s fine while Dad’s away at work, but crowded when he’s here. I also am anxious to get her back in the crib before the baby arrives to avoid jealousy problems. Do you have any suggestions?
I have twin daughter’s that are now 9 months old. They slept through the night until they reached 6 months and then started waking up. From birth I put them down to sleep awake. They have naps twice a day for an hour each time. I give them dinner at 4pm, as they go to bed at 6pm. They can only last 3 hours at a time awake time. Sometimes they don’t want their bedtime milk at 6pm. I am wondering if they are waking up hungry, as when they wake, they have 6oz of milk and gulp it down!?
Thank you.
Is it ok to breast feed your baby to sleep at night IF he stays asleep until morning? also – will waking my baby up to breastfeed in the am before i go to work cause any problems with his sleep?
Dana,
My son is now 22 months old and in a twin bed in his own room. He did very well sleeping through the night, even in his “big boy” bed, up until about 3 months ago. Now it’s a fight to put him to sleep…often my husband lays down with him…and he will wake up between 2am-4am every morning. He goes to bed at 9:00pm so we get very little uninterrupted sleep since we have our time and go to bed at 10:30pm. When he wakes up, he either wakes up screaming and crying and gets out of his bed OR he wakes up, gets out of his bed and comes to climb in bed with us. When we try to comfort him by talking to him, reading, or listening to lullabies, he will dose. When we leave the room, he screams until we lay down and sleep the rest of the night with him. When he gets into our bed sneakily…haha…he goes immediately back to sleep! It’s frustrating because I don’t want to allow him to sleep with us or us have to sleep with him. There is a night light in his room and I’ve tried a cup. He drank the cup when he got up and brought it to me in my room!! Ahhh! I have heard about sleep issues starting around this time, but somethings gotta give. Do you have any advice?
Hello Dana,
Maximilian is 8 months and he has 1 nap 12pm-3pm and goes to bed at 8pm. Is 1 nap enough for him? He wakes up 2 times on avarage at night to breast feed. when he goest to sleep later 9-10pm and I feed him cereal later he seems to sleep longer, but it’s difficult to keep him up late and then he still wakes up at the same time – around 8am. Should I encourage the 2nd nap during the day?
Hi Dana,
Am I too late? You may or may not remember me with my daughter Deanna and putting her to sleep. She is now almost 15 months old and is capable of actually THROWING UP from all the crying if I put her in her crib. My husband has no problem hearing her cry and in 10-15 minutes she falls asleep (that’s when I’m out). For me she fell asleep once after just 5-10 minutes of crying but not anymore. She threw up from all the crying 2 times now so I said forget it, I feel like I’m traumatizing her or basically saying, “well I’m not there for you when you need me”. I just cry with her and my husband and I argue about going in or not. I know he’s right. She will get used to it and it will be heaven for us all. (My 8 year old son cries with me). But I don’t want her to get that upset where she coughs or throws up. It’s almost worth just putting her to sleep in my arms. Am I too late? Please help, I don’t want to be a wimp.
Hello. I’ve seen this question on here in so many words before so I think it may be a common problem. I have a 2 yr old who has hit a the clingy phase…. Ugg. Which means even thought she was sleeping soundly before, she now seems terrized to be left to fall asleep on her own throughout the night. A night light makes no difference she simply wants to hold my hair, which is a new pacifier she started when this clingy phase hit when she turned two. None of the usual “routines” from her first year that worked so well in the past have any affect. She cries a frantic cry (not one of her manipulative cries, but genuinely fearful) the minute I’m out of site. Anything specific to this age/phase that I can do?? – Mary
This sounds like a recording of what my child and I go through every night. My son also sounds fearful when I leave the room and frantically tries to beat me to the door. He doesn’t do this when he’s at my parents or at the sitter, only when he knows my husband and I are at home. It’s crazy! I’ve tried all of the same routines that worked months ago, but to no avail, nothing works. If you get any feedback that works or find something, please let me know.
Dana,
I have a 6 month old son and he is still getting up at night anywhere from 1-4 times a night. Up until 3 weeks ago, I would have to rock him to sleep and then when he would get up in the middle of the night I would nurse him and then I could put him in his crib while he was a wake, but when I put him to bed wide a wake, he would scream and cry so loud, so I would rock him…not a great idea I know. Well, I am not a fan of letting him cry it out, but about 3 weeks ago, I started to put him in his crib awake and he would fuss for 15 minutes or so (not screaming or crying anymore) and then fall asleep. So every night around 7:30pm-8pm (my husband thinks he is going to bed too early and that is the issue), I just lay him in his crib (I do not feed him before doing so…last feeding is at 7pm). Noah still wakes up screaming still a few times a night. The only thing that seems to calm him down is when I nurse him…I know this is a big no, no, but when I nurse him, he will feed for a few minutes, and then I will put him back in his crib (sometimes he is still awake and sometimes he is asleep). Sometimes he will sleep for 5 hours in a row and then wake up crying, but for the most part his average is every 3-4 hours. I know that he is not hungry when he wakes…but it is all that helps him calm down. Another thing is that he is teething…he has been teething for a while. I am not sure if this is what is waking him up, but teething or not, he has always been this way. Should I stop feeding him in the middle of the night? If so, how can I break him from this? I read on your last email to start with not feeding them before they go to sleep. And I have already done that step 3 weeks ago. I am a working mother and I am very tired! My husband and I try to take turns at night with Noah, but when it is my husbands turn, Noah will not calm down, until I get up and nurse him. Last night he got up 5 times! Noah is goes to an at home daycare and his caregiver tells me that he fusses just a few minutes before he falls asleep for his nap, but once he falls asleep, he will sleep anywhere from 2.5-3 hours. His is taking too long of a nap? I know every child is different, but what is the typical nap schedule for a 6 month old? Is his bed time too early?
Sorry for such a long comment! I am desperate for help!
Thank you,
Heather Aleman
I am a single mom and my daughter sleeps in the same room with me. Is it possible to try this method while she is sleeping in a crib in the same room with me? My daughter is 19 months. She goes to bed around 7:30 pm and usually wakes up around 4 am to crawl in to bed with me. Lately I have let her come to bed with me but refused to breast feed her. She usually falls asleep by herself after crying for a few minutes.
My daughter, Kaylee, is 8 months old. For about 3 weeks now she has woken no less than 2 times during the night. At the onset of her wakings, she was getting over a monor cold and just cut 4 teeth. Our bedtime routine, includes the last feeding for the night abnd yes she does fall asleep with the bottle. Now I know, I should not allow her to do this, but what do you do if both of you work? I know what I should do: intermittently take away the bottle, not allow her to fall asleep eating, separate feedings from sleep- however having to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready for work- all of this is difficult- it is easy to take the easy way out- give her the bottle- please help!
Thank you,
Melissa
My son is now 20 months old. He has had sleeping issues but thanks to your advise he now goes to bed at 8pm every night and he does go down without a struggle. However recently he has started getting up at 3 or 4 am and is wide awake and just will not settle. I have tried everything from feeding him a larger dinner, giving him an extra bottle of warm milk. I have changed his room to make it a nice calming environment, left a toy at the bottom of his bed in the hope that he will maybe just play for a bit and go back to sleep, put music on in the background (wich used to work when he was a baby as he doesnt like the quiet). Nothing seems to work and he will not stay in his bed unless I sit beside it. Do you have any advise?
He goes to nursery during the day, which he enjoys and does tire him out but due to the winter holidays has been at home with me until 4 days ago. I worry that he is missing me and that is why he is getting up and looking for me as he will not settle for my husband and will only calm down when I come in the room.
Your situation is identical to mine. My son goes down at 9pm and wakes up, like clock work, between 2am-3am every morning wanting us. He will come find us in our room and crawl in the bed unless I, because he doesn’t want my husband anymore either, go and sit by his bed or get in his bed with him (he’s in a twin). He will dose off, but as soon as I leave the room, he immediately wakes up screaming. I’m at a loss! If you find anything that works, please let me know. :)
Hi Dana,
My son is now 5 months old and weighs a healthy 17lbs. I know that he is able to sleep through the night for at least 10 hours because he has done it before. He was on a good schedule but now for some reason he has been waking up at least 2 times a night. I think it may be from him starting to teeth and also because he has recently learned how to roll both ways and I’ve heard that when babies learn a new skill they may wake in the night to practice that skill. Is this true? I’m worried that I messed up because when he started waking up again I gave him a small bottle and now he wakes up around the same time each night so I think he feels like he needs this feeding now. How do i break this pattern and get him to sleep through the night again? please help. Thanks
~Allyson
Hi, my name is Guerline I have a two year old girl and a 7 month old baby girl the 2 years old is still waking up at night for bottle feeding and she refused to start potty training I talk to her Dr he said everything is o.k with her, can you help me.
Hi. I am having real trouble getting my 9 month old to sleep through the night. She only has an hour nap during the day and has plenty to eat during the day but still waking up atleast twice. I am so tired and stressed out i have tried everything from routines to letting her fall asleep alone, can u tell me what the problem could be and give me some advice?? please.
My fully breastfed baby is 3 months old. Since birth she has suffered terribly with expelling wind. She doesn’t have big burps after feeding, but struggles with passing it from the other end!! During the day she is comfortable and has 2 – 3 two hour sleeps, but at night she wakes every 2-3 hours screaming and we have to get up and pick her up and push on her little legs until the fart comes out then she re settles and after another couple of hours we begin this all again! Please help, we are tired and frustrated and can’t understand why it only happens at night? we have had so many opinions I feel like crying – i have tried everything, from eating nothing but plain toast and water to giving her gripe water! :(
Hi Dana,
I have a 8 1/2 month old whose short life has been rough. He has very bad reflux and is on prevacid, and Neocate formula. He also has some “gut” issues still, which cause discomfort, and he is currently teething.. He definitely has some sleep/bottle associations.. I’ve been working on those, but he is very resistant and seems to be getting more and more upset when it is time to go to sleep. He has alot of negative associations with eating, so has been very hard to get on a eating schedule because he just won’t eat if he is not really hungry.. this really makes naps and bedtime routines even more difficult as I don’t want to him have a bottle right before a nap, to break the association. The harder I try, the more histerical he gets, and it doesn’t matter if I am right in front of him, he gets upset and won’t calm down unless you pick him up, and sometimes that doesnt’ even work. I’ve been to tons of Drs.. and they don’t have any advice.. do you think you can help me?
Thanks!
shani
Dear Dana,
I can not get my 12 month old son to sleep for more than 45 min during the day. I could set my watch by him! I know he needs more sleep (he takes a morning and afternoon 45 min nap each) because he is often cranky when he wakes. On average his night sleep is from 7:30 pm to 6 am and is interupted by wakings several times a night; 3-4 times on average. It is very challenging to get him back to sleep–day or night–as he does not have one reliable consistent way he soothes to sleep. We try to lay him in his crib drowsy after bedtime routine and rocking. That always works at bedtime, but for any other wakings he always sits up and screams! We usually end up swaying, rocking, or at our wits end nursing. Can you help solve our 45 min problem?
Sarah
Hi Dana,
Alex is nearly 5 months, 15lbs and is sleeping through the night from about 7 pm to 7 am. He’s been doing this for about a month now since I started your program and life is wonderful! My question is, what will happen at his next growth spurt? When he wakes crying in the night do I feed him and risk messing with his routine?
Thanks
Nicola
Hi, My daughter is 9 months old, since she was born she has waken up in the middle of the night not wanting to go back to sleep. She doesn’t sleep no longer then 2 hours at a time before waking up, and most nights she wakes up in the middle of the night and either wants to play for 2 hours or tosses and turns untill she finally goes back to sleep. I know she wakes up often because I nurse her back to sleep, but I can’t figure out why she has to wake up and can’t go back to sleep.
Hi, Dana:
I hope email finds you well. My son is an ‘active sleeper.’ Sometimes, he even talks in his sleep. He’s extremely energetic and strong (as are mom & dad); so when he does wake up during the night (usually 1-2 times), he starts trying to climb out of his crib. Thankfully, he’s short; we’d really have a problem, otherwise. My question is: How can we get him sleep solidly through the night and not have to worry as much about his ‘adventurism’ when he wakes? The other problem is that once awakened, I am unable to go back to sleep. most of the time, I’m up until it’s time for work. PLEASE HELP US!! My son and I both need better sleep for basic wellness/ well-being. Thanks, in advance, for your help.
I had a similar problem with my son trying to escape from his cot during the night when he was just 12months. I took the side off the cot and rolled up a duvet on the floor, so that he has a soft landing when he rolls out of bed and as his room is quite large I just put a stair gate on the door, rather than shut the door until I felt he was big enough to understand he has to stay in his room at night (that took about a month). On occasion he would stand at the gate and cry for me but then I would just get up and put him back in bed. He is now 20 months and until very recently he was happy to get out of bed and play in his room for a little bit and would then just get back into bed (or curl up in the duvet on the floor) and go back to sleep cuddling which ever toy he had picked up. I am not sure that this situation is ideal but it worked for us until just over a week ago when he has started coming into my room and climbing in bed beside me.
Does premature babies have more problems with sleeping thatn full term?
My baby boy was born prematurely, he is now 9 months actual, 7months and 3 weeks corrected age. He is not sleeping through the night, he used to wake up every 45 minutes, but now he will wake up twice a night. I will feed him, and he is off to sleep, he will usually drink 150-180 mls. He is on mixed feeding breast and bottle. One important thing he is self-soothing, for bedtime and naps, and he is not falling asleep on breast or bottle. When asking my doctor, why he is still not sleeping through the night, the answer is “because he was premature”. Is the reason for him not sleeping through the night is prematurity?
Hi there
I have a 3 mth old boy, at around about 8 weeks I introduced the dream feed(roll over feed)It worked really well with my two girls, so I tried it on him, before I started the roll over feed he would sleep from 7pm to 4am but started to wake around midnight a few times so thats why I started the dream feed, so ever since we started this he can wake at 9pm, 10pm or 10.3opm most nights we feed him at 11pm, if he wakes (as he has been doing) I settled him back till 11pm, after this feed, he then can wake at midnight, 1.30am, 2am, 2.3am etc… so after the 11pm feed, ever time he wakes up after that I re-settle him till about 4am, so I am lucky to get 3hours sleep in each night, I am a walking zombie, I can’t even stop the 11pm feed as he wakes a few times before that any way, or he wakes at midnight, so I am not sure what to do. Can you help
Thanks in advance.
Hi dana,
My son is 10 month old still not sleep whole night.
He wakes up every hour for bread milk that he will drink in sleeping mood only.
he sleep next me other wise he will strat crying in mid night if wont feed him.
whole night i have feed him then only he will be quite.
My wee man (8 months) used to suck his thumb to get to sleep but since growing his bottom teeth he has stopped sucking his thumb and can’t get to sleep by himself. When I put G in his cot he is unable to relax and wriggles and squirms all over the place. I have tried patting his back, staying in the room, leaving him for 30mins etc but nothing seems to calm him down. Once asleep he sleeps well (through the night and a 45min and 1.5hr nap each day) but the only way to get him to sleep is to hold him close – rocking or lying down holding him both work. After 5-10 mins of struggling, he drops off to sleep. This happens at nap and bed time. Before bedtime he has a bath massage and bedtime story and I read to him before each nap. How can I get him to relax enough so that he can go to sleep.
My husband thinks it’s time for our 4 month old daughter to learn to go to bed on her own by crying it out. I’m not comfortable with that. How can we reach a compromise?
Hi Jenny, I’ve had disputes with my husband about the CIO method as well. I’ve tried it at 3 months, 4 months, and at 6 months, without much success. Finally, feeling very exasperated, I stumbled onto Dr. Sears’ website and learned about “nighttime parenting”. I would suggest that you read about different methods and try the ones that you feel most comfortable with. After trying different methods, I’ve finally settled with my own recipe for putting my 8-month-old down for bedtime and naps. Now she falls asleep on her own. The key is consistency. BTW, she hated the cry-it-out method.
My 6 1/2 month old just moved to a crib in her own room. She had been sleeping in a cradle by our bed. We started the new routine, and things were going well until the holidays hit. We were visiting family throughout the holidays, and Madalynn slept in the bed with me for multiple nights. Now that we’re back home, she is having trouble sleeping in her crib and waking many times throughout the night. How do I get her back to where she was?
My son is five and a half months old, I feed him around 8pm and then he goes to bed awake and he falls asleep by himself, then about 11pm, which is when I go to bed, I feed him again (I do not know why, because I know babies at his age can go without it) My real problem is that every night about 3 and 4 am he wakes up crying so I put his pacifier back on his mouth and he goes back to sleep till maybe 5 or 6 am. I do not know how to stop this, should i let him cry, i did it before and he got so mad that I put the pacifier in his mouth again. please help me, thank you.
My baby is almost 9 months now. I breast feeding him and he always drink to sleep. I wonder why it is not good for him? Why should he be awake while he is eating?
Thanks a lot.
Hi Ivy, try the book called “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Weissbluth. He says that you don’t need to keep the baby awake while feeding.
Hi Dana. I’v used your program with great success for my son’s night time sleeping. He has acquired the skill to fall asleep on his own in his crib and get back to sleep during the night as long as nothing is wrong. He usually only has one night waking to none. If I give him a night feed I put him down in the crib awake and he will fall back asleep on his own with no crying.
He has also learned to fall asleep in his crib for naps. However, despite having a nap routine for at least 2 months (he is 5 months old) he still full-out cries for 5 minutes or more before he falls asleep for the nap. Then he only sleeps 45 minutes and he’s pretty much immediately frantic as soon as he wakes up after the 45 minutes.
What should I do when he wakes up from a nap after 45 minutes? How long should I wait before going in? Will he learn? Also, is it normal to still have a full-out cry when he goes down for napping, after 2 months of nap training? He’ll fall asleep on his own, but it’s like he’s ticked off that he has to nap! We read the same book before every nap, and he gets stressed out when he sees the book!
My baby started the best sleep schedule. The key word in that sentence is started. Before 2 weeks old skipped the 11pm feeding (going from 8-2am). Then before 6 weeks old skipped the 2am (sleeping from 8pm-5am). he did this schedule consistently for the next 6 weeks with even a couple 8pm-7am nights! Then he took back the 2am feeding for a bit (I figured it was a growth spurt). It did not really go away. For the next month he would wake up between 3:30-4:30, but then sleep until 8am after. I tried to not swaddle him at night any more and that went terribly wrong. Now here he is almost 6 months old and he is waking up at 1am, 4am, 7am and then sleeping until like 9am, but does not need to eat right away. We tried adding solid food during the day, making sure my milk supply was OK, having him go to bed earlier, then trying later. If I nurse him, he goes right back to bed. But I try other things at first to get him to go to sleep, but always end up feeding him just to get him back to sleep. Some people say it is a growth spurt, others say it is because he is teething. Thoughts? I don’t feel like I should be getting less sleep than when he was 2 weeks old!!! Help!
I don’t agree that there is any one formula for all babies. I do believe that it is important for each mother to listen to their intuition and do what they feel is best for them and their baby. For me it was to feed my baby to sleep – for the first year he would feed two2-4 hourly around the clock. He has grown to be strong, healthy and emotionally secure. I stopped breastfeeding him three months ago when he was 2.5yrs. He now sleeps in his own bed throughout the night. I am glad that I was able to do this the way I felt was right for us without judgement from others or being told that I was wrong by a ‘professional’. I understand that this will not work for everyone but the point I am making is the importance of listening to one’s inner voice. Australia has a great organisation called the Australian Breastfeeding Association – I was interested to learn in my reading that the hormones secreted at the end of a feed have a sedative effect on both baby and mother and that it is perfectly natural for babies to feed during the night during infancy (demand, supply etc.). I often wonder that we, in our Western Culture, just try too hard sometimes to control everything – even nature…
I just wanted to post to say that I agree. Although I did things completely different from you Melissa I do think that each child is different and you have to do what is right for them. I breastfed until my son was 3 months, at which stage my milk did not seem to be enough and had started to dry up (I was a little unwell at the time and think that affected it) and then moved to a mix of bottle and breast until he was 6 months. I weaned him early, as he was ready for something more than milk early and I did not have any problems with his sleeping until he was 9 months and we moved house. I know people who breastfed until their children were 2, and some who only ever bottle fed and their children were happy and healthy. It does depend on your child and what you are comfortable with. At the end of the day (in most cases) it would seem to be that your child will be happy if you are happy. I wonder that if we had not moved house I would never have had a problem.
hi dana. Bonnie is now 8 months and has been a terrific sleeper, day and night. She has never had a dummy to go to bed at night and self settles to sleep really well, at 6.30pm not waking again till 5-5.30am. she is still really tired but the only way she will go back to sleep at this time is if i give her a dummy..(she then sleeps till 6.30-7am.) i have been doing this now for a few months but am finding the 5am thing tiring as i cant get back to sleep and just want your opinion on getting her to sleep till 6.30-7 without that early wake up. i have tried putting her to bed a bit later eg 7-7.30pm but it doesnt make any difference and she is just tired the next day. She still has 2-3 day sleeps usually 8am-9.30am, 11.30am-1am and 3pm-4pm. Any suggestions?? i still wrap her too which im trying to stop without any luck as she wont go to sleep with being wrapped but its rolling non stop in her cot and yelling out to me cause she is stuck… very frustrating!!!
Hi Dana, I wonder what you would do with my 10-month old baby. He used to sleep through but since he was about 5 months old he’s had repeated and very painful ear infections. These often caused his eardrum to perforate and he would be up for up to 3 hours screaming at night. Milk used to help settle him and we wonder if the sucking action helped to relieve some of the pressure in his ears. Now he is getting treatment for this, but he still wakes every night. We’ve tried to settle him without milk, but it doesn’t work. He goes to sleep well at night. We always put him down awake and he has a good bedtime routine. He’s asleep by 7 every night but wakes once or twice for milk. We’ve also tried giving him LOADS of food and milk in the day to see if this helped, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. We’re not happy to leave him to scream, though we can leave him to cry a little. At the moment I’m trying to gradually water down the millk I give him at night and my hope is that in the end he will settle with jsut water, and then eventually with just a cuddle, then a shush. What would your thoughts be?
I have a 4 month old that will not sleep in his crib – the only place he sleeps more then 30 minutes is in the swing or in my bed….any help out there?
Until my son was about 4-5 months he slept in his bouncy chair. We just used to put it in the cot and let him settle. he did not seem to settle in the cot until he was bigger. The health visitor did advise that some babies only like dont seem to like to sleep in beds that are larger than them (if that makes sense) and did advise that I roll up a blanket and put it half way up the cot so that it would feel like a smaller bed. At around 5 months this did seem to work.
Hello,
I have a 1 year old son who has been sleeping thru the night for quite a few months. But over the last 3-4 weeks he has been waking up at least once during the night. I realized that he was thirsty, so he has a cup in his crib with water so it is easy to grab when he is thirsty.
He is teething, I give him tylenol before bed to help with any discomfort he may be having. I don’t medicate him during the day because he acts completely normal, so no discomfort.
We heat our home with a wood stove so it is dry but he has a humidifer in his room to keep moisture in the air.
I try to comfort him in his crib, without picking him up, but it doesn’t help. I then pick him up and rock him in my arms, pacifier is available to him at bed time. I put him back in the crib, awake- he will settle after being rocked a little by me. I don’t know what to do. I am not getting a full night sleep, please help!
Leslie
I just started the program last night. It just so happens that my husband booked a trip to Florida (months ago). We are leaving in 13 days from today. I know you said to wait until after your vacation to start training but I could not wait any longer (especially becasue I have two children). We all need sleep!! I know that I am cutting it short by just starting the training now right before we go away but what is the most important thing for me to do during bedtime while we are away?
My 4 1/2-month old daughter was sleeping well during the night (around 5 hours then up to feed and back to sleep for another 5 hours or so). Now that she has begun teething, she rarely sleeps (at night) for more than 2 hours at a time. What can I do to help her “sleep through the night”?
My daughter has just turned 7 months and is a healthy baby. My question is about her naps during the day. She is a cat napper taking on average 3 1/2 hour naps per day. If I need to run errands throughout the day you can be sure she will get extra sleep as she always falls asleep in the car. My question is: If I know I am going to leave the house do I allow her to nap in the car during her regular nap time OR do I simply allow the extra sleep she gets in the car above and beyond her nap time?
Thanks
Hi Kathy, My baby girl was a good sleeper until she started teething too. Now at 8 months and with 2 bottom teeth installed, she’s sleeping a lot better. Be patient. Once she has her teeth, she’ll be a better sleeper.
my child has specifikal heart problem. doctors made diagnose at last week.can it by a problem why he is waking up at night because if he wake up at night he dont want to eat? he dont cry.he just want to “talk” with somebody.
Thanks 4 this post dana. I have been tryin to tell my husband that breastfeeding is more natural & digests easier in baby’s tummy and that by giving her formula only gives her sometimes 1 more hour between feedings. In fact soetimes it doesn’t make any difference if she gets formula or breast milk she still wants 2 eat every 2-3 hours. I have been trying 2 tell him this since our daughter was 2 weeks old and she is now 5 1/2 mths. He would not listen 2 me so I’m going 2 show him this post & hopefully he’ll listen 2 a professional.
I have 3 children (aged 5 1/2, 3 1/2 and 20 months). A little late for me but I am SO pleased to have seen this thread regarding breastfeeding and sleeping.
I breastfed all 3 of my children and unfortunately none of them were good sleepers. The youngest still isn’t, which is how I came across this website.
Since the first was born, my mother-in-law has badgered me constantly about “getting them on the bottle”. Her 6 children were bottle fed so this was her solution to it all and I found it incredibly hurtful that she made me feel so guilty for doing what I felt was so completely natural.
Even though I stopped breastfeeding them all at around 12 months (so obviously no longer breastfeed anyone and don’t plan to have any more children for her to worry about me breastfeeding), she still insists on telling me stories about other people she knows who are having trouble with breastfed babies and sleep. Her take on it is that “some people’s milk obviously just turns to water” (ie, mine!) and so the baby is constantly hungry, making it wake in the night. I’ve always believed this to be rubbish but was hurt by her saying it nonetheless.
Sorry for the rant but she has upset me so often with this unnecessary guilt-trip and I have been very reassured by reading that it was probably more a sleep association problem for me, rather than a problem with my milk. My children are all thriving, by the way, and have always been tall for their ages, so I take comfort that perhaps my milk didn’t do them so much harm, after all!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I just wish I could make her believe the advice on an expert, rather than arrogantly believing I did the wrong thing by not following her advice about breast v bottle, althoug I guess she’s just too long in tooth to change her mind now. x
Hi Dana, I have been following your emails for a while now and am not sure if the program will work for me or not. I have a 21 month old little girl named Emma and she does not sleep through the night and does not take naps unless she is in the car. I have been successful at bedtime with a routine and getting her to go to bed on her own. I am still nursing her on demand but would like to figure out how to stop. I do nurse her at bedtime but make her stay awake and put her to bed awake and she does fine, but she wakes up 3 to 4 times a night wanting me to either nurse or rock her and I do my best to not do either but usually give in b/c my husband gets up early for work as well as do I and we have a 3 year old in the room right beside her. Is it hopeless for me? Will I ever sleep again for more than 3 hours at a time? Exhausted mom of 2 toddlers.
I feel your pain and exhaustion and give you credit for keeping it together for this long. my daughter is kinda the same (she takes naps) but i know i wud loose the plot if I had two kids to look after. Believe it or not you are a very stong woman. Stay strong and email me if you want a ear to listen to exhausted talk and bounce ideas ladyrutherford1984@gmail.com good luck
My son was diagnosed with severe reflux at 3 wks of age. The doctor suggested we hold him upright after each feeding for at least an hour. Because he was eating every two hours it became that we were holding him constantly. We therefore transitioned him into our bed so that I could get some rest myself. Now, he will not even allow you to lie him down for naps. Not only does he still suffer from reflux at 4 months, but he also suffers from ear infections due to constant drainage during the cold season. I need rest..good solid sleep. Is there any hope for getting my son to sleep through the night in his own crib before I lose all sanity.
p.s. even sleeping with us he still wakes up every 3 to 4 hours and I have to rock him back to sleep
My daughter goes to sleep fairly well/easy in the day time, but when it’s time to got to bed for the night she gets extremely gassy. She may sleep for only 5 – 10 min. then wakes up and this continues for hours. She is 12mths old and has been this way for about 6 months or so. We haven’t really changed her diet a lot and is on a fairly consistent schedule. She is no longer on a bottle, but we did try the soy milks, eliminating certain veggies etc. Nothing works to eliminate her pain.
Can you please offer any suggestions…
Hi Shannon, when my daughter was in her 1st year and also on solids we had a very similar problem, we talked to several MD’s but they couldn’t help or wanted to extensively medicate her. It finally occurred to us to take her to a holistic/naturopathic doctor. He ran a very inexpensive, simple and painless test and told us what specific foods to avoid. For her it was seeds, seed oils, and grains. I don’t know where you live, but his name was Dr. Anderson of Longetivity, in Roswell, GA, USA. Once we took her off the foods that were bugging her she was a totally different baby and finally slept. :) I don’t know how severe your problem is with the gas, but maybe there is a holistic doctor near you that you could check with. Good luck.
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