Click on the ‘Play’ button above to start video!
Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from Barbara. She writes:
“My daughter Tristan is 20 months old and still waking through the night. She can fall asleep completely on her own at bedtime, but then wakes up three hours later and wants a drink. Then for the second time she falls asleep, she is up from about 2 am until 7 am — and I have to be at school at nine!
If she does not wake for good, she will wake up three more times for a drink. I give her about three ounces of milk each time. If I do not give her the cup, she screams and cries until she is completely awake. I am so exhausted and tired towards the end of the day… What can I do?”
Okay, the good news is that Tristan is falling asleep on her own at bed time, so that is step one and that has already been taken care of. That is a great beginning. When you say cup, I am not sure exactly what you mean, but am guessing a sippy cup perhaps, with milk in it. I would eliminate that from the bed time routine all together.
Have a routine like a bath, getting jammies on, reading a few stories and then lights out. It does sound to me, even though she is not using the cup to get to sleep at bed time, like she has an association between milk and sleep. The farther you can distance those two, the better off you will be. Completely eliminate it from the bedtime routine and put her in her crib like you normally do with no changes there. It’s more a habit than anything, to wake up and think she needs something, when in fact she does not. People convince themselves of all kinds of things that they need in order to sleep.
I have had people tell me they cannot sleep unless they have earplugs in, or unless music is playing. Well, the truth is that they could sleep without those things but they have convinced themselves that those things needed in order to sleep. When first removed, anyone is going to have anxiety and find it more difficult to get to sleep, but once they are no longer dependent on those things, sleep comes easily again.
In essence what Tristan has is simply a habit; she does not need the milk. For a 20 month old, there is no reason why she should need milk in the night. She just thinks she cannot get back to sleep unless she has had milk. When she has a night waking, go in and remind her that it is still sleepy time, give her back her blanky or teddy, and tuck her back in, with no milk. Because she is 20 months old, she is going to understand, at some level, that there is no milk until morning.
Since it is dark out, you can make reference to it being night and say, “It is night time; still no milk.” Instead, I would do the leave-and-check style approach from The Sleep Sense Program with her. You can stay for a few minutes, reminding her it is sleepy time and still night, so there will be no milk until morning. Then leave for five or ten minutes and if she is still crying for the milk just go back and tell her there is no milk until morning and then out you go for another 5 or 10. Continue to go back in and check, until she has gone back to sleep without the milk.
I know that you are worried and because you have written that she will cry and scream until she is completely awake. Of course, she wants the milk and you are not giving it to her, so she thinks her only choice of action is to cry. It sounds like crying for it has worked it in the past and that you have given in and given her the milk. So you can be sure that she is going to do those things, because it has for her worked before. You are just going to have to be very strong in that there is no milk, until morning time. Keep going back to check on her, so she knows that there is nothing wrong and everything is fine, but there should be no milk.
Go in to check on her as many times as it takes until she is back to sleep. I know it is tough when you are already tired. I have a tough job when I am asking tired people to be even more tired, but really it is the only way to get to the end of it. Right now, this tunnel you are in, of waking up one to three times a night to offer milk to your toddler is sort of an endless cycle. Who knows when she will decide she no longer needs milk so that would be a tough road to be going down, as well.
By making some changes now, you are going to be more tired in the short term, but there really is no reason why she needs to wake for milk. Once she realizes that it is no longer an option, she will sleep well. The great news is that she can fall asleep without it at bed time, so that is going to start transferring to her night wake-ups quickly. You are going to be in for a few rocky nights, but there is no reason why she cannot just transfer those skills to that night waking as well, and start sleeping right through the night. Hang in there Barbara; work at not giving her that milk.
Thanks a lot for your question. Sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
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My son is 7 months old and has slept fantastically, for over a week now he is waking at 5.00am with a dirty nappy, but by the time I have changed him he is wide awake and wont go back to sleep…he is then grumpy and his routine is totally out…what should i do..thanks
Hi, my boy is four months old. He rarely sleeps at night. Even if he falls asleep he keeps waking up crying. I tried gas drops from over the counter he does release gas a lot but still he wakes up all night six or seven hours straight. He is calm and sleep at day. He is happy baby baby till midnight after that he starts to be fussy. Please help me.
if we awake long time in night what are the symptoms will seem on our face?
will our face be seemed like yellow color?
My 16 month old wakes up screaming every 2-3 hours a night. Usually, I just go in and pat his back, wrap him in his blanket and he is fine, but I am tired of getting up so often. He has a twin brother so sometimes, I have to get up for him too and I feel like i have no sleep. Advice? P.S. He still has a strong urge to suck and I think he wants a binky or sippy cup to suck on, but I don’t want to make more habits to break. Once in a while, I give in, but rarely. Please Help!
i have a 5 month old son. he will not sleep for longer than 40 minutes in the morning, he used to sleep more than that but recently he just wake up after 30-40 minutes! and needs to be rocked or patted to sleep. I have tried to let him cried it out but it only works sometimes.
early on he sleeps quite well because he’s cough & takes medication from Dr. But after that, he starts to have problem of sleeping longer.
i put him to bed 7-8pm, it usually took him 15-30 minutes to fall asleep. i stop his night feed 1 week ago & seems ok but if he wakes up in the middle of the night,he can’t fall back to sleep on his own, even if he’s very tired he refused to close his eyes & keep moving his legs & body until he’s fully awake again!
he has a very sore cry and it is hard to know if he’s not well or is just crying for attention. he sleeps better during the night although still wakes after sleeping for 4-6 hours & sometimes he will wakes up & took him 2-3 hours to sleep back even with my help – i have to cover his eyes with hanky & give him his dummy. if i leave him alone he will just try to move his body, kicking legs & eyes open even if you know that he’s so tired.
Pls help me cause i’ve tried to let him cried it out & i do night routine before putting him to sleep. how to make him sleep longer at the day & nights? what to do if he doesn’t know how to sleep back on his own?
My baby is 3 1/2 months and she started sleeping thru the night before she was 3. After her last feed being fully awake, I swelled her, turn the light off, give her her paci and she falls asleep on her own. Lately, she has waken up around 2am looking for her paci. She is not hungry, I put her paci on her mouth and automatically she goes back to sleep. If I don’t giver her her paci, she cries until she is completely awake. What can I do to get her off her paci?
My 20 month old has problems with sleep.
As a baby she was perfect & self settled just fine.
Since putting her in a BED she now screams the house down and gets out all the time. Most nights she used to walk to our room in the middle of the night and sleep without our knowing until we woke!
We stopped this by closing her door at night, but after 3 months of ROUTINE and trying to get her to stay in her room, we still have problems……
Any suggestions as we have always had a routine & nothing has changed!
My 2 1/2 yr old son NEVER sleeps all night. It does not matter what time he goes to bed he is always up by 6:30am. He also wakes up throughout the night and sleep walks. I dont know what to do about his broken sleep.
My 6 week old sleeps well during the day taking the “normal” 3 naps and being awake a couple hours in between. She can be anywhere and have lots of noise and sleeps through it all. She is awake from around 5:00pm until 8:00pm then I try and put her down for the night. I give her a bath, feed her a bottle and she usually stops eatting because she is so tired. When I lay her down in her bed though she usually wakes up after a few minutes. I pick her up to make sure she doesn’t need to burp, which is sometimes the case, and then she seems really sleepy again so I lay her down to try and let her learn to fall asleep on her own. I sometimes use the pacifier and that works for a while and then she wakes again. This process can sometimes go on and on for 3 hours. She just won’t seem to get settled when I first try and put her down for bed. The night goes fine with her waking 2 to 3 times to eat and then she usually goes right back to sleep it’sjust that first initial time of getting her to go to bed.
Hi Dana,
sorry I should add that Marcus’s sleep routine at night, is bed, bottle book and goes to sleep awake.
Thanks!
Dear Dana
How do I get my 8 month old to sleep a bit later in the morning? He goes to bed around 7:30-8pm and was sleeping until about 6-6:30, but recently has been waking up between 4:30-5:30. Help !!!!
Thanks
Marcus is 10 months old and is sleeping through the night from 6:30pm to 6:30am. However, about once or twice a month he will wake up around 4am. First starting off just talking, or groaning and after 10 minutes it turns into a full fledge cry. We go in to comfort him, leaving after a few minutes to leave him to fuss for 5-10 minutes on his own and then going in again. It gets to the point that he gets so worked up that in the end we give him a bottle. It seems that this night waking corresponds to him teething. I would say 90% of the time he is sleeping right through.
My Dr. says I should not feed him through the night, however I feel that his cry isn’t a mad cry but a pain cry. Just wondering what your thoughts are on this. I feel every child can not fall under the same umbrella, and that indeed he could be hungry, or in pain and needing something extra. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
My nine month old sometimes wakes up at 5 am. I want her to sleep until 6, but she will just cry until 6 and then get reinforced for the behavior when I feed her. If I feed her at 5, she is falling back asleep within 20 minutes of finishing eating, so I know she is not “starting her day” at 5.
Thanks Dana,
Lauren
Dear Dana,
My eight months old has been waking up at night on all fours,and crying very hard. This happens about eigt or nine times a night, and the only way to get her back to sleep is to pick her up and hold her for a little while. She just recently has learned how to crawl and pull her self up. Is this something she will grow out of soon. It is getting very exhausting. Thanks
Hi Dana,
My daughter Alishba is 8 months now and we started putting her awake in her cot almost a month ago. There are days when she sleeps after only crying for 5 mins but on the really bad days she will take up an hour of crying and me going in after every 3 mins to pat her.
She takes a dummy(usually) for her daytime naps but i dont give it to her at night. She wakes up 3-4 times during night just to be patted back to sleep which can be anywhere from 15-40 mins of patting.
Should i give her a dummy when she wakes up? but the prob is everytime it falls out of her mouth she wakes up crying again. Please help!!
not sure when to give her the dummy.
Thanks
My 2 1/2 year old will not go to bed on his own. He NEEDS/WANTS his sippy cup of milk and have to hold him to put him to sleep. You put him in his bed and he kicks and screams and climbs out. He is in a big boy twin bed so it not that I can put him in a crib and keep him in there. What can we do to get him to fall asleep in his bed without holding him to sleep? He has a very bad temper and we tried to hold him down in his bed or lay with him but that didn’t work neither.
Hi Dana,
I have a 2 year old that has been sleeping through the night since she was 12 weeks old. She has always been a great sleeper, sleeping from 8pm to 7am. She also still takes a 2-3 hour nap during the day. The past week now, she is waking up early in the morning, about 6am, as she has figured out how to get out of her room. Once she is up, you can tell that she could use some more sleep because of her mood. How do I get her to stay in her room, or sleep as late as she used to?
My daughter Delilah is 4 months old and she will only fall asleep in my arms and when i go to put her in her cot she wakes after 5 minutes, this is a ritual she’s started about a week ago and is repeated for about 2-3 hours before finally she goes to sleep about 9-10pm.
I’ve just started introducing formula to her diet so could this be something to do with it??
thanks
My son Ray is 18 months old and wakes up 2-3 time each night. He goes to bed at 8:30, wakes ups 2-3 times and gets up for the day between 5:00-6:30. We have a night time routine but the food/milk intake before bed varies because he is such a picky eater now. After we cuddle or read a book, we place him in his crib and he falls asleep on his own while we are standing beside his crib. When he wakes up, we do not pick him up (unless he is hysterical), but we give him his pacifier, and make him lay down again. He does, but he wants to hold our hand or he wants us to rub his face and he will go back to sleep. If we attempt to leave the room when he is falling asleep he gets hysterical. Every once in a while, after waking up once during the night, he will sleep through the night. This happens maybe once a month and it is GREAT! My husband and I would love to get some sleep on a regular basis not just once a month.
Dear Dana,
I have a 7 week old that has really bad colic and can’t seem to get hm to sleep at night pretty much at all. I was wondering if there was something I could do just to get him to sleep between feedings!? Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your time,
Kara
Dear Dana,
I have a 2 month old son named Jacob and Ive tried to get him on a nightly bed schedule, (bath, bottle and bed), before he reaches his scream fest he has every night, what is now refered to as PURPLE crying (like colic). Somtimes it works but he’ll only sleep for an hour somtimes less after, then he wakes every 2 hours during the night time hungry, but he’ll only eat 1 ounce then fall back asleep then up again in another hour for another ounce. Its like this all night. My question is how can I get him to sleep more than 1-2 hours during the night without wasting a bottle which he doesnt realy eat, but wants?
Thanks in advance!!!
Hi Dana,
my 12 month old has a variable sleep pattern. Some nights she wakes twice, sometimes once and occassionally through the night. It can be really difficult to get her back to sleep when she wakes. Sometimes she will go back to sleep quite easily within about half an hour but always wants milk. Other times she will not go back to sleep for an hour or 2 hours and I cave in and she sleeps next to me in our bed. I know she should be doing without milk but she will scream and wake herself up, vomit, and cry for hours if I dont give her milk. I tried one night and when it got to 3 hours of crying I couldnt take it anymore! Another thing is that she doesnt drink much milk in the day – she is too interested in playing, so I feel that if she drinks at night at least she is getting more milk. Is there anything I can do? She has had a number of infections and virus’ lately and her sleep pattern had naturally started to be better before that. She also went through the night from 3-5 months old on her own without me doing anything different when she was being exclusively breastfed so I know she can do it.
hi,
my son is 19 months old and is still waking in the night,he is going down on his own (eventually) but waking up at least 7 times a night he doesnt rely on milk or cuddles.how can i break this habit i have tried everything im exhausted! thanks for your time.
Hi Dana,
My daughter is 6 and half months old. At first she was a great sleeper but for the past few months she has been waking regularly.
At first this was for milk, I was breast feeding her and at Christmas we were staying away in someone elses house and to keep her quiet at night I ended up having her in bed with us and letting her feed on demand- this was the beginning of the problems.
Since this we have worked hard and she is now in her own room however, up until two weeks ago she had a dummy and I was going into her room 3-4 times per night to put it back in as she was crying for it…. nearly two weeks ago we got rid of the dummy and after two hard nights she seems to have forgotten all about it, however I ended up settling her with milk…. writing this i realise I sound like a disaster, replacing one crutch for another!
So what s happening now… last three days she has been very unhappy about going to bed (and day time naps) but eventually settles after a lot of crying (this feels very stressful and tiring though). We wake her for dream feed at 11 and then she wakes at 3am and I am unable to settle her without a bottle of milk, she clearly doesn’t really need it as she only has a few mils. She then sleeps until 7.00 and then wakes and will happily coo and play until 7.45.
To be a bit more concise, my concerns are:
1) she seems so unhappy when settling down, cries for up to an hour.
2) she needs milk to settle at 3am.
Thank you
Hi Dana
My son is 8 months old and he wakes up at night time around 12 – 1 am for a feed. but the problem if after the feed he doesn’t go back to sleep. he wants to sleep but he can’t settle. we put him in the cot and pat him but then he wakes up again in 1 hr time. putting him to cot during day time or night time is not a problem. this only happnes after the night time feed. I tried to stop the feed but that makes the situation worse. most of the time he goes to sleep after a bottle feed.
Pls help me with this. this is really difficult as I am a full time working mum.
I have a 10 mth baby girl, Maya. There isn’t really a major problem at the moment, but I believe there maybe very soon. I have a bedtime routine which works very well in that she feeds, i put her down awake then she sings to herself then falls asleep, but sometimes she falls asleep whilst I bottle feed her. I try to wake her up but she’s dead to the world, and to be honest i’m afriad too just in case she gets upset and cries all evening.
I’m concerned that the two ways i put her to bed are confusing and may eventually come to a head. Am i doing the right thing in letting her decide how she falls asleep or should her wake her up if she falls aslepp whilst feeding?
p.s. she sleeps through the night (8pm – 7am) regardless of how she falls asleep.
Hi Dana,
My name is Stephanie and I have a 12 month old little boy named Isaiah. I am a single mother and I work and go to college and to be honest I could not take avantage of the great offer you have on your website because of finanial reasons, but I did read all the free information that was offered (thank you) and put it all together and made my own routine for bedtime. With the help of God, my son started going to bed at 8:00 p.m. every night; sleeping all night long and was taking great naps during the day. He continued this for about 3 or 4 weeks, but now (all of a sudden)he dont want to fall asleep on his own and is crying until I give him a bottle and still is waking up atleast 4-5 times during the night. I am in tears. I dont know what else to do! I have tried to “start over” again and let him cry and go in like every 5-7 minutes and lay him back down to show him that its “bed time” and I try not to pick him up out of his crib, but he crys longer now then he did when I first started the bedtime rountine. He takes naps during the day as he did before (when I first started teaching him to self soothe) without crying and hes going to sleep on his own (this is at my mothers house because she babysits while I work). I dont understand why he is going to sleep on his own during naps and not at bedtime. PLEASE HELP!!! If you have any advice please let me know, I am to the point of crying at bedtime also (lol). Thanks.
I follow the bedtime routine with my 3 year old; bath, story, quiet reading and bed with lights out by 8:0.0 The problem is Evan will not fall asleep until 11:00 pm – 1:00 am. I’m exhaused because I have to get up by 5:00 am. Sometimes I get desperate so I try laying with him, rocking him, or taking him for a car ride. His sister who is 6 will fall asleep in the car but he won’t. He also keeps his sister up by talking or playing around when he should be sleeping so she doesn’t go to sleep until 10:00 -11:00 pm and she has school. I noticed on the weekend he doesn’t nap so I don’t have this problem. I asked that they shorten his nap but I don’t know if they really do.
My daughter Tessa is 9 1/2 months old. I put her down tired, but awake for naps and bedtime and she goes to sleep on her own. She still wakes up at least once a night. I breastfeed her, put her back down awake and she falls asleep. If I don’t feed her she stays awake and eventually starts to wail and has gone on crying up to 1 1/2 hrs. (I haven’t been able to stand it much longer). She sleeps in our room and will eventually share a room with her 4 year old sister so it is hard to listen to her wail right next to my bed. At her last MD appointment for 9 months she weighed 16lbs 12 oz (25%) and was 26 in. (7%). Since she is on the little side, does she still need to eat at night? And if she doesn’t need to eat at night, how do I get through sleep training her with her being in the same room?
Thank you for all you do to help us tired parents, Erin
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Dana, thanks for your email– We have 14 month old Oliver. who has been in bed by 6pm every night and slept 12 hours without waking he has also been great at getting himself off to sleep, we would put him down tired but awake and he would take himself off to sleep. He has used a dummy in the past. About 3/4 weeks ago we took the dummy away and he was fine and continued his usual sleeping pattern— Then we changed the clocks by an hour so we still did our usual routine but the old 6pm was now 7pm. A week on our little man is standing in his cot beside himself crying and crying then he puts his fingers in his mouth and vomits. So we go in and clean him up as much as possible then put him down, only for it to happen again– makes mum and dad very stressed and wonder if he is ill. He is fine and has a runny nose got some teeth and is slowly giving up breast feeding ( was only doing morning and afternoon) but two nights ago he gave up afternoon by himself so now only has morning when he wakes. so at the moment ( today and yesterday) he is having dinner at 6pm and then bath books and bed but the crying has started before his bath and calm’s for his books then starts again before being put into the cot. My husband waits for him to go to sleep before leaving his room at the moment and he usually dosen’t go to sleep till 7.45pm we now think by this stage he is overtired. We have tried the cry down method and it ends in vomit. at the moment he is sleeping 7.45pm till 6am then naps while walking in the buggy 8.10am till 9am or 9.10 am. then afternoon is again in the buggy out in the fresh air 1.30pm till 3.30pm. he is a good eater and no problem with that– just need to get him Happy to go to bed for his evening sleep– Shall we got back to the 6pm? look forward to you reply thanks in advance. Emma
my son is 9 and 1/2,he started waking up in midnight and wants milk,he was not doing that for long after 6 months of age and sometimes after having milk he starts playing and it becomes hard for me to put him to sleep,sometimes he takes 1 hour to sleep again,help………….
I have a 2 yr old. I put her to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 each night. She falls asleep on her own. Anywhere between 2am-5am,she will start to scream my name for me to come and get her. Once I finally get up, go get her and put her in the bed with us–she goes right back to sleep. Please help. Do I leave her in there and let her scream herself back to sleep or what?
Hi Dana
My son is 17 months old, he goes to bed okay, awake, with his dummy and teddy. The problem I have is that he has always woke up alot during the night. As soon as he wakes up he screams/crys when I go in he is normally stood or sat up and I lay him back down, tuck him in, give him is teddy and dummy (if not got) and he goes back off. I think now he has got into a habbit of waking up and crying (he will cry given if he can see you) How do I break this cycle? Do I have to wait till he grows out of it?
Hi Dana
My Son Rayyan, 9 month old he used to sleep all night or let’s say half of it. but abot a month ago he changed to a different habit, he sleep early around 7 and 8 and wakes up every 3 hours for milk, some times i give him and some times i give dummy. in the begining he went back to sleep but now when he wakes up he want me to breast feed him not even the bottle, iam relly tired and dont’ know what to do. please give me advice.
thank you.
D,
We have a great napper and she goes to bed with no problem. I firmly believe in a routine, i.e bath, pjs, books, cuddling prayers and then sleep! She knows how to fall asleep on her own from 6months and she does not use a pacifier since 3 weeks ago! We don’t believe in co-sleeping however we put her to bed and after 6 hours of sleep she gets in our bed (I let her because I am so dead asleep ) and I noticed she is whimpering from bad dreams and is extremely restless. We are now putting her back in her bed but the nightmares still continue?? I am not sure why or how to remedy this help???
thanks
Hi Dana,
My name is Casey I am a very young mother of 2 boys Caydon 4 Jaxon 14 months. Lets start with Caydon, when he was a baby we put him to bed after the normal routine of dinner bath story and we would rock him and sing a song my mother made up, he would fall asleep then we put him in the crib. Now he wont go to sleep. EVER! He will stay awake until 2 or 3 in the morning. He will say he is starving, or scared to shut the tv off, or want to watch 20 movies. It is all my fault I got him into a horrible habit because I always stayed up. I want our lives to change and this has got to be our first step other wise we will be way to tired to do anything else, oh yeah he has an attatchment to a cup also, except he wont drink milk not even chocolate milk. I know, I know! SUGAR. now for Jaxon, he;’s my 14 month old, he is always ready for bed at 9, I think it’s too late. He is still on a bottle only for naps and sometimes bed time. He now is at the age where he wants to crawl up in my lap and waller for a few minutes and then fall asleep, or he lets us know when he wants to just lay down. This is another thing I have done out of habits. I always offer the ba ba. I do because I feel so overwhelmed with Caydon going through preschool and new attitudes and Jaxon teething and exploring EVERYTHING. They are a handful. I am so tired, and exhausted. We just moved into a new house and I’m just too tired to even care about hanging clothes up or picking toys up. And My 14 month old is clingy. He wakes throught he night all night long. I am drowning here. I would really love to hear that there is hope for me and my family. Thank you for listening.
Casey
My 3 month is still waking up every 2-3 hrs at night to be breastfed. Alexander had a few nights when he has slept for a 5-6 hr stretch but very rarely. I usually put him to sleep after a bath and a feed at around 8:30, in my bed. We live in a small open concept loft space which means I have to keep quiet after his bedtime and so I end up going to bed soon after. He doesn’t fall asleep on his own, but recently I gave up on the rocking and walking around with him and started swaddling him again. He now falls asleep after a short cry, a song and a bit of tummy rubbing. Unfortunately he wakes up about 4 times at night and so I end up exhausted. Then more so, when he doesn’t nap on his own during the day, unless he is in a sling or held by me, and the naps are no longer than 45 mins. I am a single mom and exhausetd. How can I get him to sleep on his own and for longer stretches ?
my 13 months old daughter wakes up 5 to 6 times a night and every time she wants (not need) a little breastfeed to go back to sleep.I beleive its only her habit.How can i teach her to leave this habit.
Hi Dana,
I am looking for advice about the question that the lady previous had about he milk at night. We too give our daughter a milk cup at night she wakes at least once about a few hours after shes gone to sleep..which is getting to be a challenge to get her to sleep on her own..and when I say on her own I mean without me being in the room, or on our bed! I told you we had questions…lol. I am 7 mths pregnant with our son, and I m at my wits end with the night waking!!! I don’t know how to get any sleep…sometimes its only once or twice a night but lately it’s all the time and it seems like it’s every other hour!! She wants her milk, I water that down ALOT!!! And am trying to comfort her without the milk, she will cuddle and kiss and then want more milk…when she’s really restless…it’s annoying and I’m having a hard time with it!! Not only getting thru bedtime which she has a steady routine, supper, bath, stories, milk, bed! That’s the way we’ve had it for awhile…now it just seems that she wont sleep without me or milk!!! How can we transition her to her own bed, leave the milk, and not have her clinging to mom every night!!! PLEASE HELP:{ Frustrated and no help in sight..I’ve read your article about getting rid of the milk..and I’m tryin..it’s with the new baby it will be extremely hard with the waking up in the middle of the night to feed him..and wake up still to comfort her that’s how I feel things will go for me!! I’m very scared..and tired.
Thanks any help would do…Jen
I have been reading through some comments and totally dis-agree with the one who suggests that when cryin it out the baby falls asleep unloved and out of desperartion.
I think overall the baby that has learnt to sleep alone is going to be mentally more stable than a child that has not learnt this and i am talking from experience my mtoher believed it was cruel to teach a child to sleep alone and strongly believed that she should show her baby (me back then) security and love at every winge. This resulted to me being unhealthy attached to my mother at bedtimes and i even struggled at the age of 12-14 years to sleep in my own room which i believe is all down to the fact that my mother didnt allow me as a baby to learn to sleep alone.
My son who is now 6months old has recently been put in his own room. I try my best to put him down in his bed when he is asleep and he will eventually knock him self to sleep. However he still wakes up 3-4times a night for comfrt. At his first cry i tend to him almost immediately and comfrt him back to sleep then i make him wait 5-10mins befre i enter to see him. At the start this was hard to do but i believe strongly that if a baby cries at night and is then left alone to sleep then he/she if they wake again will not be startled that you are not with them like you where last time and will actually remeber that they fell asleep alone and will then do the same and the pattern will continue.
Isaac my son is doing well with his rountine and i hope by another week or so he is not needing me at all at night apart from his morning 6am feed.
Good luck to all the mums out there
We are all in the struggle together :)
keep up the good work x
Hi Dana, My son Daniel is 21 months old. 6 months ago I took Plunkets advice (parents support group here in New Zealand) and did “tough love” or your cry it out method to get him through the night without crying for a bottle. It did work after 4 nights! The problem is that Daniel has always been a restless sleeper. He snores and snuffles like a little old man! He has taken to waking several times a night, not wanting anything, as he has found his dummy, cuddly etc but still needs to be settled down. How can we stop him consistantly waking through the night. Will the cry it out work when he doesnt actually want anything? We have also had a couple of instances of “night terrors” but this does not seem to be a regular occurance, thank goodness. Your advice would be appreciated.
Thanks, Helen, Auckland, NZ
Emma is 20 months and falls asleep easily at night however afternoon naps are a different story. she doesn’t want to nap and I try to do the same routine minus the bath. She sleeps up to 2 hrs sometimes but when it’s time to go to bed she isn’t ready until sometimes 10 pm. I figure her naps are ending too late in the day, usually around 4pm however I cannot get her to nap at all before 2 pm. I have been trying to back it up but she’s not complying at all. She used to go to bed at 8pm and was up at 7am which was great. I would like those days back again or at least not the 10 pm bedtime. Suggestions?
Hi Dana, I notice that a few other mums are having this same problem…my almost 4 month old usually has 2 daytime naps (if I am lucky, 3 naps) but he wakes almost 45 minutes later, to the minute and I can’t get him back to sleep. Then at night, he has ‘bath-boob-bed’ and is alseep by 7.30pm. He cannot settle himself and can only fall asleep after his feed, in my arms with a dummy in his mouth. (I REALLY don’t like the cry-it-out method and when I tried it, I only lasted a few minutes before he gets so hysterical and so worked up that he vomits and takes a lot of work to calm him down.) He then wakes (and only falls asleep again if I feed him, cuddle or put his dummy back in) at about 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am when hubby and I are so exhausted that we bring him into bed with us where he falls asleep instantly and sleeps for another 3 hours! We also run a boarding house with 30 boys that are constantly at our door from 8am-10pm, so there is NEVER a peaceful moment. We are getting to the point where we need some good sleep and some serious help!
Hi Dana,
I have some good news & some bad news.
My four month old was waking every three hours on the dot, i have taken your advice and would check on him once down at bed time. This worked great, he now goes to bed at 7 awake no problems, he then wakes up between 12-3 once for a bottle before returning straight back to sleep until 7 in morning. Is this ok at this age or can i cut out the middle feed????? I have tryed the wait 10mins and check on him this does not work as he will scream for hours until he has that feed. I wouldn’t mind so much that he cry’s for a while but he wakes my 3 & 9 year old up, if i try to leave and check on him every 10mins. His cry’s are like nothing i have ever heard before im afraid people may think im neglecting my child at night?????
His day sleep consist of bed around 9am wakes up inbetween 12-2. i have to pick my eldest at 3 from school so what times should he be waking and sleeping to get him into a routine that provides me popping out at 3 and going to bed at 7.
And one more question i have gone out a few times and khai will not sleep anywhere other than his bed at home sometimes this is not practicle what should i do????
Please advice would be great at this time.
Thankyou.
Janiyah won’t go to bed at her given bed time she thinks she can stay up all night and go to bed at 1:30am or 3am in the morning. She won’t stay in bed she’ll keep getting up and cutting on the light. When she awakes some morings it’s about nine and on those late nights she’ll wake about 11am or 1pm not good what can I do she hits and says NO alot and doesn’t obey us HELP!
Did it occur to you that this baby could be going through an growthspurt and needing extra milk???
Any kind of training is for the convenience of the parents, not the babies. Stop the insanity. People, there will come a time when your baby sleeps through the night, until then, give the baby what it needs, it’s part of their development. Too much nazi-ness out there and parents convinced to believe they must let their babies “cry it out”. Whats the point of having a baby if you dont want to be there for him/her?
Hi Dana, My baby boy Riyyan is now 8 1/2 months. he is sleeping 9 o, clock every nite. before he goes to sleep i breastfed him. then he wakes up 2 oclock again for feeding. he still doesnt know how to sleep on his own. he is having enough sleep during a day. he was sleeping in cradle first few months. now he is sleeping in his baby cot but if i put him in there he is not sleeping there on his own. i make him sleep first then put him in cot. but if he wakes up then he doesnt go back to sleep.please help me with this.
My 6 month old baby goes to bed at 7pm but wakes every morning at 4.30am. I rush in and put a dummy in and she will sleep again till 5.30am and that is it. I really need her to sleep through until 6.30 or 7am for a good day time routine but just can’t manage it. She is not waking due to hunger as she doesn’t feed till 6.30. Because she wakes so early she is ready for bed again at 7.30am. Will nap for an hour and it up from 8.30 till 11. She then sleeps till 2pm with another nap from 4 till 5pm. Then is up for tea, bath and back to bed by 7pm. I have been told to cut her 4-5pm nap out but there is no way she can last from 2pm till bed at 7pm. Help please.
Hi Dana, I put my 8 month old to bed at 7 everynight, but she is very inconsistent in the morning. she wakes anywhere from 4 to 6:30. I never know what to expect. If she wakes early I feed her and put her right back to sleep for another 1-2 hours depending on the time. Now she learned to sit up in the crib. I don’t want to feed her before 6. Should I just ignore her until then? Help I wake up for work at 6 and the 4 am feeding are killing me…..
My 11months daughter, has been going to bed at night really well on her own, thanks to your programme..But i have trouble getting her to sleep for her naps during the day, i have to nurse her to sleep,or she will just play in her cot, ive tried the rapid return etc but her just give me a big smile thinking its funny, thats with all the tried signs prior trying to put her down… when i do nurse her to sleep she sleeps between an hour and a half to two hours… WHAT CAN I DO PLEASE ….
Dana,
Keep up the good work. As a parent of 4 children, we thought we had it “figured” out but there is always something new you can learn. And you taught it to us.
After a lot of long nights with our 10 month old your sage advice fixed our issues.
Thanks a bunch.
-E:-)
My son is 10 months old and is usually a good sleeper, going to bed between 6.30-7pm and sleeping throught until about 6.30pm. However the last month he has started to wake anywhere between 4.30-5am. My husband and I try to settle him sometimes taking an hour or so and if he is still upset we will give him a bottle but this still does not work. He can self settle without props like dummies etc but this doesn’t work in the morning. He has been teething, but why would this only bother him at 4.30am? I’m at a loss as to why he is waking so early when we haven’t changed anything about his routine. Would love to hear your ideas.
Hi Dana,
my 21 month old daugther Talisa Dana just start sleeping in her own cot about 3-4 weeks ago, before then she used to sleep with us in our bed with mummy and daddy and she is got this bad habit – holding my hand. She never use to like her cot. She would scream if i would put her downin ther . Now that i am pregnant again and time is ticking for my second baby to come out i want my daugther to start sleep in her own bed before the baby arrives.I started step by step, first staying with her next to her cot holding her hand and waiting till she falls as sleep, but then she start waking up at night, i wouldnt have energy to go there and wait another 20 min. for her to go to sleep, so she would come to our bed, of course then me and my partner would have a shocking sleep, cause she would kick all night. I started sleeping in our other bedroom for her get used to the cot and just come her down with my voice if she wakes up! It worked, but only for a short period time she would sleep all night till 7am! Now i started to put her to sleep on her own trying not to hold her hand and not staying with her, its working after few cryings, but then she still wakes up at night twice in a road and this morning she is up at 6clock and i am very very tired, do am doing the right thing?? When my second child will come i dont want get up for two at night, please help!
Thank you!
My 9 month old is an early waker. Very early waker-4am! He will cry in his crib for an hour, then I get tired of it and go get him. He is AWAKE, then ready for his first nap by 7:30. Our schedule is toast. He is good at putting himself to sleep, but this early schedule is really making me tired! Help!
How do I transition my 3 month old baby from being swaddled in his bassinet, to sleeping in his cot in a ‘sleeping-bag’? I have found that he wakes himself up when his hands arms are free.
Hi, My 10 month old son, goes to sleep unaided at night at 7.30pm, I have stopped all night feeding now for the past four weeks, he wakes at 3.33am and can be awake from 30 min to 2 hours! Playing to start with and then crying for attention. I try to settle him back the same as I do at 7.30pm to no avail! Luckily my three year old sleeps through it! Any suggestions greatly received. I have seen 3.33am more times than I would like to mention, would love to miss it!
Thanks for any feed back.
I have a 5 1/2 month old daughter Sophie. She will not sleep for longer than 40 minutes at a time during the day and needs to be rocked or patted to sleep. I have tried driving her in the car, walking her in the pram and even darkening the room during the day but nothing seems to work. She has a very sore cry and it is hard to know if she has pain or is just crying for attention. She sleeps better during the night although still wakes for a feed after sleeping for 4-6 hours. She takes a bottle and usually goes back to sleep. She takes a dummy
Hey Dana!
PLEASE HELP ME!!!
My son is 11 months old his bed time is usually 6:30-7:00. I’m still nursing he had no problem falling asleep, the problem is that he would wake up at about 11:00 and want to be rocked or sometimes nurse to go back to sleep.I must mention that I live in a 16*20 size house which is basically his crib is only about two feet away from my bed,our living room is in the same room with the bedroom. After he’s gone to bed the lights are still on because we are either having dinner or watching tv and it gets loud sometimes. I feel so sorry for him at times because the lights are on and the noise of the tv is loud but my husband refuses to turn off the lights and watch tv in the dark. What would you recommend doing?
Thanks in advance
veronica
Hi, My 9 month old son is sleeping well at night time, but I cant seem to get him to take good naps during the day. At the minute, he goes to bed at 7.00 and sleeps through to nearly 7.00. His first nap is about 9.30 and he only sleeps for 30 minutes. He naps again after lunch – 1.00 to 1.30 possibly 40 minutes and that is him until bedtime. Sometimes I can get him to nap for 20 minutes at 5.00. Any ideas on how I can extend his nap times. Are is this normal?
many thanks.
Hi, I am very lucky as my daughter is sleeping at night for between 10 & 12 hours, so I am not complaining at all! but she no longer sleeps during the day so by the time it comes to bed time at night she is exhausted & grumbly, what can I do or should I just count my blessings that she is sleeping at night.
Neve is 18 weeks old.
My 8 month old daughter is still waking up once at night. She settles herself to sleep at night and for naps (without a dummy) however I can only get her to settle again at night with a dummy. I’ve tried controlled crying, blankies and shush/pat which have not worked, but if I give her a dummy she goes right back to sleep. I’m trying to increase her food intake to see if that helps but other than that, what can I do? I’m desperate for a full night’s sleep!
Hi Dana
Thanx for all the great advice so far. I do seem to be having a problem with 8 month old Chloe, we usually put her to bed at seven after she has had dinner at five, she then drinks the bottle in bed and that puts her to sleep. After about an hour she is awake again and ready to play,if we leave her and dont offer milk which only works occasinally, she will scream.
This happens a few times a night but I have come to realise its not milk that she wants as she will reject it.
Brianna is 23 months and has never fallen asleep on her own! I rock her every nap and everynite! She wakes at 8 am, has 1 afternoon nap from 1-3p.m and bedtime is 9. Its starting to take anywhere from 15 mins. to a full hour to rock her to sleep! We still offer a bottle before her nap and also before bed. She wakes up at nite 2 hrs after she goes down and the routine has always been to run to her as soon as she calls or cries out. Pick her up, warm up some milk and then fall asleep in OUR GUEST BEDROOM with either her father or me. Even though, she still can wake up 2 more times, ask for milk and do the whole routine again. We have never given her the opportunity to fall asleep by herself but i havent slept together with my husband for almost a year! I am the one that will go thru and implement the change but my husband is the softy and thinks that shes only a baby once and hes going to enjoy this time , which i understand too but he is not understanding me when it comes to fixing these sleep issues! what to do?
How do i begin to make him understand as well as teaching our daughter to fall asleep and soothe herself on her own when she wakes in the night?? thx Dana!!
wanting to break the habit/routine!
Hi Dana!
My son is 4 months old. When he was 2 months old we did not have any kind of routine, he was cranky during the day and evening but once put to sleep at 12AM (!!!) he would sleep 5 hours, eat and sleep for another 3-4 hours. It was great, at 2 months, I was rested. That lasted about 4 weeks… Then I started changing his routine…like you said, I tried moving his bedtime by about 30 mins everyday so it would get closer to 7 PM. We have a great routine that we all love- take a bath, pj’s on, breastfeed for about 5 mins, read a “NIGHT NIGHT SLEEP TIGHT” book (we use those keywords to let him know it’s sleepy time), put him down, whisper “Go Night Night” and he falls asleep on his own. I didn’t mention he sleeps in a cosleeper in our bed… (BTW can’t wait to move him out to his own bed!). I have been making logs of his night wakings and it looks like he wakes up every 2 hours each night- to feed of course (I breastfeed). I am wondering, is there anything I can do to get him to sleep longer stretches? I don’t even dream of him sleeping all night long without feeding ( he is 17 pounds and just starting solids- BTW- that is not making him sleep any longer), but a stretch of 4-5 hours would be a blessing!
Please tell me how!
My daughter is 2 month old, she is my first baby . She wont take naps during the day. She cant sleep without her pacifier, she falls asleep with it and then it falls out of her mouth and she wakes up, i tried putting her down without it but she wont sleep at all, she will just cry and cry until i take her in my arms and she falls asleep again. Then i put her down and she wakes up again. During the night she wakes up two times and I breastfeed her and she falls asleep, but she still need her pacifier in order to sleep well. Im so exahasted she is so fussy and cranky during the day, and I think its because she doesnt get enough sleep.My question is how can I make her fall asleep on her own without pacifier? I tried cry it out method but it doesnt work.
Hi Dana,
My son Matthias is 7 months old and not able to fall asleep on his own still. I feel like his sleep patterns are not able to be consistant because of my 4 1/2 year old sons routine. He attends afternoon kindergarten and usually that means that I’m waking Matthias up from a nap that has taken me quite a while to get him into or that his nap is postponed while I am taking and/or picking my older son up from school.
At night the two boys share a room as there is no other option and both are light sleepers – they’re constantly waking one another up and I’m starting to lose my mind because I’m so tired. I need this rectified before I go back to work in 5 months time. Where do I start? Matthias is waking every 2-3 hours currently and only falling asleep from nursing. I’ve tried letting him ‘cry it out’ and that hasn’t worked for anyone here. We’ve also tried swaddling, night bathing and a bottle – to which nothing has worked yet. My eldest Nathaniel is up at least once during the night. HELP!
My daughter Kamryn is 2 1/2 and still does not sleep thru the night. She wakes up anywhere from 3-8 times during the night. I am so exhausted from not getting sleep and I don’t know what to do. She is still taking a bottle at night and cries for one almost everytime she wakes up. I have tried so hard to get her off and I can’t find anything that helps!! I have tried the “let her cry” method but I can’t stand to let her go like that for more than 5 minutes. Do you have any suggestions?
Hi Dana,
Our baby Claire is 10 1/2 months old and she’s been falling asleep on her own now, for about five weeks, without any props (well, with one exception – see below), for both naps and before bedtime at night. However, most nights and naptimes, she cries, sometimes for only a few minutes, sometimes for up to an hour before falling asleep. There doesn’t seem to be any pattern to the crying. My husband and I will go in and check on her if the crying escalates. We’re concerned about the level of crying after five weeks. It’s gut-wrenching to listen to and we worry that we are causing long-term harm to her nervous-system, with the levels of cortisol released under stress, especially after weeks.
She’s usually in her crib at night between 7-8pm and she oftens has at least one night-waking. I have often breast-fed her partially to sleep in the middle of the night, and I suppose that is part of the problem. She will usually awaken again sometime around 7am.
Her naptimes are usually consistent.
Before five weeks ago, I had been nursing her to sleep all the time.
If you could address our concerns about the crying, that would be wonderful.
Thanks so much,
Colleen
I HAVE AN 11 MONTH OLD INFANT AND SHE FIGHTS HER SLEEP REALLY BAD. I HAVE HAD HER SLEEP WITH US SO FAR BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER BECAUSE I NURSE ,BUT NOW FEEL IT IS TIME FOR HER TO GO TO HER CRIB. SHE IS GETTING TOO BIG AND KIND OF A BED HOG. I CAN’T CHECK ON HER AT CERTAIN TIMES BECAUSE IF SOMEONE GOES IN HER ROOM SHE BECOMES HISTERICAL. SHE WAKES UP SEVERAL TIMES THROUGH OUT THE NIGHT AND NOBODY GOES ON. BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHEN IS CRYING TOO EXCESSIVE. I DRAW THE LINE AT AN HOUR. AM I DOING OK OR IS THERE SOMETHING I NEED TO CHANGE. BY THE WAY I CRY RIGHT A LONG WITH HER. I AM CURIOUS HOW LONG WE WILL WILL HAVE TO ENDURE THIS? ANY TIPS THAT YOU COULD OFFER WILL BE APPRECIATED. THANKS
hi,my baby is 7 months old and she started sleeping through the night when she was 10 weeks old(i was breast feeding at the time),she would go to bed at 8pm then i would feed her while she was sleeping at 10pm and she would sleep until 8 am.when she turned 4 months old(now bottle fed) she started waking up a few times a night, even though i stuck to the same routine as always,i did not feed her and she would go back to sleep after a few minutes but now things are getting really bad,we are still in the same routine only now she goes to bed at 7.30pm.she will sleep(restlessly) until about 10.30pm and drink about 200mls of milk then go back to sleep until about 12 and cry until i give her milk thereafter she wakes every 45 mins (crying) until 5am.
i feel i cannot be the kind of mom she needs on the amount of sleep i am getting so please,please HELP ME!!!
I have four months old. Did u find any solution I have same problem
My 20 month old wakes up 30 min after going to sleep every night and then from 1-7 times additionally after that, usually about every 2 hrs. She is not attached to milk, but to touch – she just wants to rub my hand. We stopped rocking her and picking her up months ago but the only way now she will still go back to sleep is if you stand/kneel by the crib and let her touch my arm or hand. she is extremely stubborn and has cried for over an hr before when we try to not give in and ultimately, we usually bring her into bed with us just so that I can get some sleep; i’m 20 wks pregnant again and this has to be fixed by the new baby so that we can all get some rest. Help!
My 26 month old gets out of bed constantly when we put her to bed, we put her back in every time she gets out and try not to talk to her but she usually does this for at least 2 hrs! Please help me
Brielle is 9 months old and gets up at least 4 times a night for a bottle and wants to be picked up and cuddled. She goes to sleep good at night but uses a bottle to go to bed. How can i get her to go to sleep and stay asleep without waking up so many times a night?
My son is 8 months old and has been sleeping very well since we have started putting him to sleep awake for about a week now. My question is when should I start doing this with his naps. Right now I still nurse him to sleep about 80% of the time for his naps
hi dana
willow is now 11 months and slowly her sleeping is getting worse. She will only go down with a dummy in her mouth and goes down quite happily. But when she wakes up and the dummy has fallen out of her mouth she cries til i put it back in. This means i am up 3 or 4 times a night. Luckily as soon as its in her mouth she goes back to sleep but how do i get her to lose dependency on the dummy. If i put her down without it she screams til she chokes. She has 2 1-2 hour naps a day, also with the dummy. I dont want this to become a huge problem…
Thanks
Hi there– I have a 10 1/2 month old who is a recovered refluxer. He had it pretty bad and developed the habit of eating small, frequent meals (breastfeeding). He also had slow growth, so I never wanted to limit any of his night feedings. Now he is recovered from reflux, but of course he’s still waking up all night. I can get him to go down without nursing as the last step, but the progress is slow and we’re exhausted waking every 1 1/2 to 2 hours at night. I’ve also been trying to get him to take in more during the day. He sleeps in an Amby bed next to ours, but I want to transfer him to his own room and crib. Thanks for your help!
My daughter is 5months, she use to sleep threw the night waking once, MAYBE twice but lately shes been up every 2 1/2 hrs. she goes to bed between 7/730 and use to wake up at 8/9 and now shes waking at 630/7!! how can i get her to sleep threw the night again, she refuses a bottle so gets breast fed all the time, i started her on pablum (rice cereal) hoping that would fill her up more before bed but it hasnt seem to changed. Im exhausted as i also have a 17month old who still screams through the night too. How do i get my babys back to sleeping well again. Please help.
Thank you
My 6 year old son has never been a good sleeper. He was my first child and unfortunately he slept in our bed for about 18 months, and had a lot of crutches for going to sleep in his own bed for a long time. He did not sleep through the night until he was 5, and now sleeps through because he has a CD player beside his bed which he turns on to help him get back to sleep. The problem is that he is a very light sleeper and wakes up at the slightest noise or movement from his sister who is in a crib in the same room. He is tired during the day even though he “sleeps” from 7:30pm until 6am, and he has attention difficulties and a lot of tantrums that could be related to insufficient sleep. How can I get him to sleep more deeply at age 6?
I have 4 week old twins and I’ve read that they do not have the ability to self soothe at this age, but at the same time I’m reading I should be putting them in their crib at night awake. They always start to cry and if they can’t self soothe should I be doing this?
My son is 16 months old. He does take a nap everyday with his care provider usually 2 hours. Very good at that. I was very lucky to have my son sleep very well until about 11months -12months when he began walking and becoming much more active. I always rock him to sleep, and in no time he is in his crib. But at night he is waking up more and more and wants to be on top of me constantly. So I pick him up and rock him back to sleep and then he wakes up again in about 1 1/1 to 2hrs. Eventually I just take him to be w/ us and of course he can stay sleeping until 8am in the morning if you let him in our bed. I remember telling myself i would NEVER place my baby in bed, but when you are tired and sometimes just plain exhausted it is very tempting. I do not want to continue this pattern. It’s already been 4 months and I really want him to sleep on his own. Please help.
My baby is now 7 months old and had slept through the night from 6 and a half weeks old, but since I recently went back to work he no longer sleeps all night. He has begun waking anywhere from 1 am to 3 am and refuses to sleep. He is not hungry, he will take a bottle but is not really interested in it he just wants to stay up. We have also noticed that he no longer naps well during the day either. Help! How can we get our baby and the rest of our family a good nights sleep??
My son Randolph is 22 months. He is is daycare Mon – Fri, takes 2 hour naps without a complaint. There are two problems I am having with him at home. FIrst, he will not lay down by himself for a nap. Second, he will not go to sleep at night by himself, no matter how tired he is. He always cries for 2 min after I leave the room, but falls asleep by himself. THen wakes at 2 AM and won’t go back to sleep, unless I pick him up. He is not wet or hungry, just wakes at the same time. Please give me some advise as to what I should be doing. I am really tired!
My 14 week old is a great napper during the day and puts himself to sleep in his crib every night, waking once or twice in the night to eat. However, he only naps well in his swing (without music or movement) on the main floor of the house, but has a hard time staying asleep in his crib for longer than 30 minutes. How can I help my little guy nap in his crib?
Dear Dana,
My grandahgter Jaylee is 13 months old..
She might sleep a coulple hours a night,,
can you please help?
Thank You
Sherry
It sounds to me, Dana, that you recommend the “cry it out” method. I am a firm believer in attachment parenting. If you let a child cry and you do not respond to his/her needs, do you not feel that the child feels like he/she is abandoned and only falls to sleep out of desperation. What is so wrong with parenting a child to sleep, showing him/her love, comfort, and security? Wouldn’t that make for a more emotionally balanced child than one who thinks they are no longer loved.
Hi Dana,
Wesley, my eighteen month old, struggles with sleep each night. I exclusively breastfeed him for 12 months. Now he takes soymilk during the day, but I still breastfeed him at night in my bed when he wakes. This is usually between 1 and 3 AM in the morning. Then he usually stays in my bed unless I try to move him when he is sleeping. This only works on occasion.
I think I got into bad habits early on with him. He is my third child and my other two children were in their cribs by three months of age.
Not to make excuses, but right after he was born, I was sick with gallstones, and had to get my gallbladder removed after five months of agony… In addition, it was discovered that Wesley has numerous allergies that included egg, dairy, cats (we had three at the time) I think these factors contributed to our poor sleep habits..
I am trying extremely hard to get him into a bedtime routine without the nursing, but I am having a challenging time due to the fact that he also shares a room with his three year old brother. In addition, three year old Nate, was just moved to a big boy bed. I usually put Nate to bed between 7 and 7:30pm, but he will not go to sleep right away sometimes and insists on leaving the overhead light on when he is intially put to bed.
I have tried to put Wesley to bed with Nate, but Wes crying usually disrupts Nate as well and they both end up crying in the end. Unfortunately by the time I put Wes in his crib it is around 8 or 8:30pm and he is probably overtired by that point…
Any ideas for getting them both on the same page at bedtime. In addition, any ideas for easing the transition for him to give up the breastfeeding at night? Any ideas would be appreciated…
Thanks,
Laurel Hollinden
Dear Dana,
My Granddaughter Jaylee, Wakes up every hour or less all night sometimes she whines and she acts like she just cant sleep.. But she will go back to sleep and then she wakes up in 15 minutes or so all night long.. she is 13 months old.. when she naps she generally naps good .. she naps for 2 hours or so.. But me and her mom we are so worried and tired we sure could use your help!! We Need some sleep and so does Jaylee.. Thank you
Sherry
My baby is 11 months old and sleeps through the night but she is now starting to wake early. She would sleep 6:45pm until 6:45am. but the length of time has decreased 15 min. everyday and now we are up at 5:30am. Help!!! She also wakes up with a dirty diaper.
My daughter is going to be 2 next week and she is a great sleeper at night, however she will not nap for me. She goes to daycare Mon-Fri and naps every day for them, but when the weekend comes she will not nap for us. I keep her on the same schedule as her daycare and have even watched them from the doorway on their techniques on naptime but it is not working at home. She is so tired by the end of the day that we spend alot of time crying and having temper tantrums. I am not sure how to solve this problem.
I was wondering how to transition my baby from swaddling to sleeping on his own. He is 4 1/2 months old and if swaddled sleeps 7.5-9 hours has a bottle and goes back to sleep. The problem is he is getting out of the swaddle and then he sleeps 30 minutes to 2 hours before waking up. He falls asleep on his own when swaddled but if he is just in pj’s he moves all over the crib and does not fall asleep on his own.. Any ideas.. Thank you!
My daughter was 14 months old and waking up 8 – 9 times a night (from the age of 6 months). She was drinking 3 x 250ml bottles of milk a night because it was the only way I could get her to go back to sleep.
After consulting various websites and seeing her paediatrician 2 or 3 times, her paed finally prescribed some sleeping medication and told us to eliminate the night time bottles.
After just 2 nights of the medication and no night bottles, we took her off the medication and found that she had managed to form a pattern of no longer waking up for the night bottles.
Both my daughter and myself became different people after getting decent sleep at night. She is 18 months old now and still sleeping through the night.
I wish someone had told me sooner that the night time bottles were something that should have been eliminated long ago. It really would have saved me from many sleepless nights.