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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
This week’s question is from the mother of a 13-month-old girl who is up three times per night for a bottle. She writes:
“My daughter is 13 months old and she goes to sleep on her own and quickly at 8:00 p.m. every night but still wakes up, on average, three times a night. I am still breast feeding her and I have tried to cut it out but she got sick and we went on holidays and I started feeding her again in the night and now I am exhausted and I am over getting up in the night.”
I can bet that you are over it, I would have been over it a long time ago. This is a common question I get. The first thing to look at is whether your child can fall asleep on her own at bedtime. It sounds like she can so that is victory one! That is the main goal. The best case scenario is that a child learns how to put themselves to sleep at bedtime and just starts sleeping through the night and there is nothing a parent has to do, it just naturally happens.
But other times not, especially if something is different for night wakeup, than at bedtime. She falls asleep on her on but in the night wakeups it sounds like she gets feeding so there is some inconsistency there. She is 13 months old so unless she is really underweight or there is something wrong with her health wise, there is no reason she needs to be eating in the night – even if she eats a full feed during the night. If I woke up in the middle of the night and my husband was sitting there with my favorite meal, I would eat every bite. I do not need to eat in the night, but I would.
We are very capable of eating when we do not need to eat. So I think what has happened is she is just waking up and eating out of habit more than anything else. So I would just cold turkey pull the night feeds. Each time she wakes up in the night give it a few minutes rather than rushing in. She might settle on her own.
If she does not settle on her own, then you either go back to the leave-and-check method or you stay with her until she falls back asleep, without feeding her. If you’ve got your husband’s help on this, this might be a good place to send him in. She knows she is not going to get fed from dad and even though she might be initially a bit madder to see dad, I find that the time it takes is a lot shorter.
If you are in there, she might just whine and moan for an hour. But if dad goes in she might be really mad initially to see him, but then 10 minutes later she is back to sleep. If you have his help on this, definitely use him and send him in for the night waking.
No more feedings and don’t consider morning anything before 6:00 am. If she is up then and you think enough is enough for one night, then get up and start the day. So some people do a 5:30 or 6:00 feed and then put the child back to bed. In my opinion, that is the same thing as a middle of the night feed and in the child’s mind, she cannot understand why can she eat at 5:30am and she cannot eat at 3:30am. It’s is just too confusing so I would pull the feeds completely. No feed until morning and then really make morning known by opening the curtains and turning on lights and taking her somewhere new for her first feed and letting her know that it is now morning.
The good news is because she can do this on her own at bedtime, it should not take too long. It will be a few nights and maybe even a few rough ones. Because she has the skill already, it is just a matter of transferring it to night wakings. Instead of waking up and thinking she might get fed or you might do something for her, she will just know every time she wakes up, she’ll just do the same thing that she does at bedtime and she’ll just sleep through the night. There is some good news in all that!
Thanks for your question. Good luck and sleep well!
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
My 14month old keeps waking up at night around 11:00. She goes to bed between 7 and 8. She is crying solid for at least two hours and some nights longer. At first I thought it might be because she was teething. Now I feel something just isn’t right. She just cries and cries. She had reflux as a baby and I am wondering if it could possibly be coming back. She sounds hoarse and just cries. It’s not every night but 3 out of 5. Any ideas? She only takes one nap during the day around 11am. She seems tired later in the day but won’t go to sleep. Please help.
i have a 22 month old and she is able to get herself asleep at night but she will wake all through the night could be 5 or 6 times a night sometimes i will give her a drink to settle her but she does settle in my arms then i lie her back down and she will stay asleep for another while but will wake again and its only me she will settle for i do send daddy in but she kicks up until i go in sometimes she has no choice but to go to sleep for him when i am exhausted please tell me what to do before its too late thanks
OMG. HELP ME PLEASE !! first time mum
my son was sleeping for 11 – 12 hours from 10 weeks (with a dummy, wont sleep without it) with the odd night feed/burp. he now has med for his reflux. now he is 7 mths old almost 8 mths & for about 2-3 weeks now he wont nap for anymore then 30min – 1 hour, use to for 2 hours a time & im lucky if i get him down for his afternoon nap. he has all of a sudden started kicking off his sheets even while im putting him down & wakes up crying before & once i go to bed, when i go in to see him he has rolled over & is on his hand & knees this happens anywhere from 3 – 6 times a night. im loosing my mind. my husband is a shift worker so he either not home or is sleeping . im so tired i just dnt know what to do anymore i have changed blankets for hot/cold same as what he sleeps in & have tried a nice cd playing quite still dont work. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME
My son is 1 year and 9 months, he cries alot at night in his sleep, wakes up on an average of 3-6 times a night wanting to drink. I breast fed for a year, so for 9 months now already he is drinking milk, or rooibos tea at night. Last night was exhausting cause he screamed the whole night in his sleep holding his ear.
Hi Dana, My 2 year old wakes up 3 + times every night for milk, I am replacing the milk for water but he still wakes up. Shall I just let him cry? HELP.. Thank you :-)
My 16 month old son wakes a few times a night. Sometimes its once for an hour, sometimes a few times. Its getting pretty old and I just want him to sleep through! When he’s up for an hour he is reatless with a few whines here and there! He goes to sleep really well at 730pm and has good naps! I’ve started cutting his naps off at 4pm, so he’s more tired by 7! This hasn’t worked! He’s up at 6, naps at 930 for 2 hrs, naps again at 3 for an hour! He goes down for his naps great, but does get a bottle before naptime! Is that maybe the problem? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Heidi
My 1 year old boy wakes up at least 3 times a night on a good night on a bad night every two hours he goes too sleep with a bottle everytime I put him down I’ve tried giving him juice or ware he refuses it I’ve tried letting him cry it out he just gets out of control he has at least 3 bottles during the night sometimes 5 I’m getting very exhausted as I haven’t had a full nights sleep since he was born everyone tells me it’s normal him waking up at this age I’m sure there would be something I can do to stop him waking up so much it’s driving me insane!!
Can i give her water instead of food?
THANKS.
also how do i help her language skills and get her talking. Im really worried that she is behind. and how do i get her to eat solid food? any suggestions on what kind of food i ould give her to get her eating? I thought a highhair might help but im out of ideas. she wont let me feed her she wants to get it and do it herself but she will just tare it up and throw it down on the floor and then try to get it and eat it. help please im outta ideas. what do you think about the highchair idea. maybe then she couldnt throw her food in the floor/
PLEASE HELP
My 13 month old daughter is still taking a bottle of milk like she ded her formula and wont eat solid food at all. I can get her to eat some yogurt every now and then she wont touch baby food anymore and at night she has to have a bottle of milk to go to sleep. then she wakes up 3-4 sometimes more times than that a night for a bottle and they are 6-8 ounce bottles. pluse she is not talking at all just mama, da, and bubby. what am i doing wrong and how can i change what is going on with her? she acts like she is trying to talk to me but just ant find the words and dont know how to say them.
Hi,
We have 2 boys–a 2.5 yr old and an almost 1 yr old. The oldest sleeps in his own room in a regular toddler bed and the youngest sleeps in our bedroom in a crib. We are having a stressful time b/c our youngest is waking at least 5 times per night, sometimes more. We have to swaddle him (and the swaddler is becoming too small for him) to get him to sleep at all. He’s a screamer so we’ve been very hesitant to do any kind of sleep training that calls for any amount of crying. He will cry and scream until he’s sweaty and throws up–I know this b/c it happened once when I couldn’t get to him b/c the oldest was hurt.
I love him, but my husband and I are suffering very negative effects from sleep deprivation and I’m starting to resent him (the baby). Our health is suffering. I’m struggling w/ postpartum depression and could really use a few hours of solid sleep at night. My husband is getting sick more often and has become depressed also.
Our pediatrician doesn’t seem to think the youngest has any health issues–he’s a very healthy weight and is even meeting his milestones early. What can we do?
Also, when he wakes at night he acts like he’s starving so we feed him (formula), but he usually won’t finish even 4 ounces. We go through 6 bottles between 10pm and 5am.
We’re so tired and so desperate for help, thank you for any advice you might have.
My daughter is 13 months and keeps waking up at nite for breastfeds. Then at day time she hardly sleeps, she fusses alot and wants things her way always. I have older boys and i dont remember them fussing this much. Whem will she start sleeping well and stop fussing?
Hello,
I am praying you can help me and my husband:)
I have 21month old twin boys who go to bed at 7pm every night,they are fine when i first put them to bed they settle well..Its about an hour after this the drama unfolds. They wake every hour from 8pm till 5am every night.They have 4 milk bottles each a night and a dummy as this settles them a little but they still dont fall asleep. I have night lights for each of them but that doesnt help either. I close the door and wait 5 min before i go back in and by then they are banging on the door screaming to get out and into our bed.By around 2am i have givein in and they are both in our bed kicking and rolling around they stay unsettled through out the whole night.I put them to bed around 10am for a day sleep they go down for about 40min if im lucky then they dont sleep untill 7pm. they cry during the day if i am not sitting right next to them playing i cannot even hang the washing out without them trying to climb the baby gate to get to me.My partner works 6 days a week 4am start and 6pm he arrives home. My husband and i are exhausted. as this has been going on since day one.we have not had a full night sleep in nearly 2 yrs. I have type 1 diabeties and my heart is always beeting very fast we really need some help or tips could you please help us. kind regards felicity
My son has started waking between 11pm and 3am for up to 3 hours. It starts with him grizzling and then that changes to crying and he can go on crying for hours.
At bedtime he always cries for 10-15 minutes when I put him to bed but then goes to sleep by himself. But at night he will quiet down if I or hubby goes to him, but as soon as we leave he wil cry again even if he seemed to be asleep.
He is 1 year old and has slept well intermittently throughout his life. This episode has gone on for a month or more, occuring about 1 in 3 nights.
Help!
I posted a question earlier regarding my 17 month old and just realized I forgot to add his bedtime, which is around 9:30, 10pm if he wakes at 8am. 10pm-11pm if he wakes at 9am.
Thank you.
My 17 month old still wakes up a few times throughout the night and sometimes when he doesn’t fully wake, he is restless throughout the night, starting from around 2am on. His bedtime varies, depending on the time he wakes, how active of a day he’s had and the time of his afternoon nap, which is always for 2 hours. His normal wake up time is 8 am, but sometimes 9am(depending if he’s been tossing and turning all night), an early nap for him is 2pm till 4pm, a late is 3:30pm-5:30pm. If it’s later than 3:30 I try everything to prevent him from napping by keeping the afternoon full, because he will not go to bed till midnight then.
So, he was doing well during the night for about 2 months, but went back to terrible sleeping routine.Nothing has changed in his environment or routine wise. I still do feed him when he wakes, because I’ve tried letting him cry it out, it only gets LOUDER and worse, he does not stop, then he just wakes completely and stays up, so i give him a bottle. And there are times i go in and his hands are out to be picked up and brought into our bed, i’ve tried not doing that either and again, he doesn’t stop crying and eventually fully wakes for the night then. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE EXHAUSTED. We would let him just stay awake, but we work/school, and are just so exhausted to stay up completely for the rest of the night. We seriously need some kind of help. He is a picky eater, (quanity wise) so doesn’t eat much, but loves his milk-only in the bottle, he makes a terrible face and throws it when its in his sippy cup and refuses to drink any of it (??), but i don’t believe it’s the milk that keeps him waking up, at least not fully. He still tosses and turns at times after having been fed. I usually know when it’s gas or whatnot. We are lost here. Please help if you can.
Hi, my son is 7 months old. He started sleeping through the night when he was 2 1/2 months old, but always had to be breastfed in order to fall asleep. Last month this all changed. He will no longer sleep through the night, some nights he wakes up 6 times. He won’t go back to sleep unless he is on the breast. He also sleeps with m boyfriend and I. We are only living in a one bedroom apartment right now, my bofriend is attending college, so he has to share a room with us. This past week I’ve tried putting him in his crib awake and letting him fall asleep on his own-it didn’t work. He cried for 15 minutes straight and finally I had to pick him up.. I will never let him cry like that again!!Also, lately he will not go to bed until 1130-12ish and usually doesn’t nap during the day either!!! I really need help, I am so tired.. I feel like a bad mother in the day time because I don’t have the energy to play with him as much as I should. Please, any help would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!
My 13 month old still wakes 3-4 times a night. We’ve tried every book, every method, I’ve asked multitudes of peds nurses what to do and nothing works. He has a set routine and quickly falls asleep around 8:30 every night. From 11:30 on almost consistently every 2 hours he will wake up crying. We go in, lay him down, put a paci in his mouth, cover him and he quickly falls back to sleep. If we don’t go in, he escalates until he is fully awake and won’t go back to sleep for 2 hours. We give him a night time bottle just before bed with cereal and fruit, there are multitudes of paci’s in his bed that he knows how to find, we’ve taken away the paci’s before the behavior didn’t change, we’ve tried the crying it out method didn’t work, the behavior became worse, we’ve tried the no-cry sleep solution again no change in behavior. We’re kind of at our wits end as to what to do now. Everything we try works, but it only works for one or two days, then we’re back to the every two hour schedule of get up, lay baby down, go to sleep, wait for baby to wake up again. He always wakes in the morning happy and refreshed, he takes 1-2 naps a day usually 2 but he’s transitioning to 1 long nap, each nap he sleeps an average of 1-2 hours usually 1.5 hours. Any ideas?
Thank you
Our 3 1/2 year old son goes to bed fine but he wakes in the night and cries uncontrollably – nothing we do seems to help – it usually lasts about an hour – it happens at night and sometimes after he takes a nap (the odd time he takes one) what should we do?????
my 6month old baby boy goes to bed every night at 8pm he screams but we dont give into him considering hes just been fed so we leave him to go sleep he wakes up about four times a night sometimes wants a bottle other times he wants to stay up and play and its really getting tiring please help!
My 8 month old still does not sleep throught the night! He cries for a bottle when he’s tired and because we are so tired of holding him we just lay him down with it and that’s how he falls asleep for naps and at bedtime. As for night wakings, he wakes up about 5 times we have tried feeding him right before bedtime and then a bath but nothing is working! PLEASE HELP!!
How do I get my 1 yr old to sleep through without waking my nearly 3 yr old. They share a room and every time my daughter wakes (& cries), she wakes up my son who then comes into our bed. We’ve tried going in when she wakes, not picking her up but just comforting her in the hope that she will go back to sleep which sometimes works but not always.
My son is now 8 months and is wakeing 4 to 5 times a night. he goes to sleep well on his own but he wont sleep through the night. I am breastfeeding so when he wakes I just end up feeding him. My husband will go in the room and rock but only for 10 mins and then he is waking to get him back to sleep b/c he says that he cant do it. So getting him to sleep is all up to me without any help. Please help me. I cant afford to buy the sleep scense program so I am asking for help.
My child is 10 months old and falls asleep whilst nursing how can i get him to fall asleep on his own.
Hello, my son is 11 monts old, he goes to bed at 10 or even at 11 in the evening.
I gave him a cereal, to be sure he is not hungry,,, but aften an hour, after 2 hours maybe, he wakes up and make me feeding him. I am breafsfeeding him yet, and after that maybe avery two hours he wakes up and cries antill I feed him.
What to do, I can`t give him crying and not to give him to eat.
Thanks
Hi Dana,
My daughter is 11 months old, she falls asleep great but I can’t get her to sleep through the night. We have a routine 6:00 dinner, 6:30 bath, then nursing, brush teeth, read a book, pray and to bed between 7 & 730. She goes into her bed awake, curls up and goes right to sleep. But she is back awake around 11, again at 2 and 4. Getting up around 6:15 for the day. When she wakes up I go in after a few minutes and rub her back to comfort her without picking her up. Sometimes she’ll go back to sleep within 10 minutes but the next time it takes an hour. What do I do? I am desperate for sleep.
Hi,
My twin daughters (1 year) go to sleep nicely and sleep through the night (about 12 hours) and have been for about 5 months. My question is – what do I do with the occassionaly wakings – about once or twice they will wake up and cry. I want to be a compassionate and loving mother – what if they had a bad dream or got scared. On the other hand, I am afraid if I go to them one night, they will want it the next and we will start waking up at night.
What do you advise?
my 8 1/2 month old weighs about 26lbs and I cant get him yet to sleep through the night. He is breast and formula feed, mostly formula now except here and there with the breast. I haved tried giving him a bowl of cereal and an 8oz bottle of formula at night to hold him longer. But usually 2hrs later he is awake again and looking to eat. What can I do to get him to sleep through the night. I thought formula was supposed to be more filling?
my 10 month old still wakes several times at night. she is a very light sleeper. from 5 til 8 she probably wakes 3 to 4 times and finds it hard to get back to sleep without a feed. i have tried to leave her and put her to bed a wake in the eve but after 8 weeks of this i find i could do it no more. she is bright and chirpy through the day and it doesn’t seem to be affecting her, just me! cheers roni
my 15 month old falls asleep on his own but stands at the side of the crib to nurse anywhere from 0-5 times before putting himself to sleep. He is not at the breast long when he does this and it seems to be more out of comfort.
I think you misunderstood me when I first explained my baby’s problem. Finn is now 11 months old and does not nap more than 45 minutes at a time during the day . He is not nursed until he wakes up and just has a story and song before nap and at nite he is up 2 or 3 times a nite and sometimes will cry for an hour.If we go in to comfort him most times he doesn’t even want me to hold him or nurse him.
He is up between 5:00am and 6:30 am for the morning and then down for a nap by 9:00 am because he is so tired.
I am exhausted and so is my husband and 4 yr old daughter.
hi im michelle my baby is 7 months old and still wakes up 3 time a night and takes 2 feeds during the night too he doesnt go to bed till 9.30pm or 10.30pm it depends on how tierd he is i have tryed putting him to bed awake but it doesnt work all the time im really tierd and get annoyed easy with my other kids cos im so tierd .
my son is six months old he does not take very long naps and ends up sleeping early for the night. he sleeps between 5 and 6 pm. he will sleep two to four hours and wake up to eat, sometimes he stays up and others he goes back to sleep. He continues to wake up throughout the night and I have to nurse and rock him to get him to go back to sleep. He also wakes up early between 5 and 6 am. Sometimes if i rock him I can get him back to sleep. should I do that Or let his day start at 5 or 6 am. What should I do to get him to take longer naps so he goes to bed later, and how do I get him to sleep through the night, he does not take a bottle but he is almost at the age of a sipi cup, should I give him water in a sipi cup and then rock him so I could stop nursing him at night.
My son will be 3 on Nov 2nd. When he was 2 months old he was sleeping through the night. I got pregnant 3 months after I had him and about a month before his brother was born he began waking. Now his brother is here and is 2 years old. He sleeps through the night and goes to sleep on his own. But my oldest still doesn’t. He always wants someone in there with him to fall asleep, and then wakes 2-4 times in the night. Sometimes it is just to go to the bathroom or get his drink filled, and I want to take the drink away, but it is so dry in his room that he will wake up asking for the drink if I do. We have tried the cry it out aproach, but he always makes himself throw-up. I hate going through this. We are tired, what do we do??
Hi Dana
How do you handle waking at night when night time potty training begins?
Regards,
Soshanna
Hello.. My son Otis falls asleep on his own and sleeps so well at night. However, he won’t nap during the day unless I’m holding him. I’ve tried putting a nap routine in place and getting him to fall asleep on his own but all I get is both him and me crying for an hour straight. We go in the room when I know he is getting tired but before he gets cranky, I put on some soft music and we cuddle and I talk to him a bit. Once he is relaxed but not asleep I put him in his crib and stay with him until his eyes get heavy. He’ll fall asleep for maybe 5 min. I know he is so tired and I have tried to set a routine but after a week of no-stop crying I can’t do it anymore and went back to carrying him for his naps. Any advice??
firstly i have to thankyou for your advise on putting my 9 month old to sleep without a bottle. it only took a week or so and he now falls asleep in his bed on his own without complaint. my problem now is that i work permanent night shifts (3 per week) and therefore it is up to my partner to deal with the baby’s night time routine. it is not going well at all. the nights that i am home max goes to bed at 7:15 sleeps till around 1am i pat him on the bum for 2 mins and he sleeps till 7am. when i am at work he sleeps till 1am then wants to play, won’t go back to sleep, bounces around in his cot etc… i got home this morning to my partner in tears, he is totally sleep deprived. is there anything you can suggest to help?
My daughter is 2 1/2 years old & for the past 2 months has started waking 3-4 times per night. She comes into our room & on most occasions I get up & take her back to bed without any fuss. She goes back to sleep easily, but is normally awake within 30-60mins. Then I repeat the process again. Some nights after waking up for the 4th time I put her in our bed & she goes straight back to sleep. What can you suggest?
Do you have any tips for the time change we are about to have? We will “fall back” an hour on November 2nd. How can we prepare? My twins currently go to bed between 7-7:30 and wake up between 6:00-7:00. The thought of 5:00 am has me shuddering.
Thank you
I have 11-month old twins, and they are each still taking 3 naps a day. The naps range anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 1/2 hours (on a good day). Because we have a small house, if one wakes up from his/her nap, the other twin is inevitably woken up. How can I get them to take longer and fewer naps? FYI-They do fall asleep on their own in their cribs.
My daughter falls to sleep on her own about 7pm sleeps soundly until 2am ish where on and off all night she is stirring for her dummy, i am up 12-15 on and off putting her dummy back in and susshing her back to sleep. She will not settle back to sleep on her own without it. She then wakes up about 5-6am wanting to actually get up and play. Im exhausted!
My 12 months years old baby girl goes to bed after dinner and wakes up about 10 times at night waiting for someone to give her the dummy. She doesn’t take the bottle and now I stopped giving breast.
I really don’t no what to do.
My 6 month old baby sleeps about 9 hrs a night consistently but has on occasion slept almost 12 hours. He goes to bed roughly between 7:30 and 8 pm. He does protest abit when going to bed for the night but it only lasts about 10 mins. He wakes up about 5 am for a bottle and will be back in bed in less then hour (sometimes 20 min). He will then sleep for up to 3 hrs and will start his day. He will take 2 naps as well during the day. How do I help him sleep past his 5 am bottle and sleep a full 11-12 hrs? How do I put him to bed happy and not protest to go to sleep?
Hi Dana,
My 1 year old wakes up between 5-5.45am every morning and I give him a bottle and almost every morning he will go back to sleep until about 7. Should I treat this as a morning bottle or should I let him cry it out?
Thanks
Hi Dana,
My daughter Sophia is 7 months old. She WAS going to bed very easy at 7pm every night and we just got naps down to a good routine as well. But recently she is fighting going to sleep at night and will wake up several times and naps are inconsistant again. Sophia sits and stands up in her crib almost instantously when she wakes up and I kind of think that is part of the problem she partially wakes up and all of sudden she is sitting or standing and doesn’t know how to get back down, or just doesnt want to. I don’t like to leave her standing because she has fallen a few times and hit her head against the crib. How do I keep her down??? We also use a pacifier which might be part of the night wakenings as well, she has used one since birth, how do I just stop it now without yet another battle in the middle of the night?
Thank you for all your great tips,
Paula (tired mom from Cleveland)
My 16 month old son, Aaron
will not fall asleep without breast feeding he also wakes up at least 3 times during the night and only goes back to sleep breastfeeding. He does not take a bottle. He has fallen asleep with his dad when I have been out but if I put him to sleep breastfeeding is the only way he goes to sleep. He also co sleeps with us its the only way I make it through the night.
Please help!
My 18 month old daughter puts herself to sleep at bed time, and she has since she was around 13 months old. She used to sleep all thru the night with out waking. The last month or so she has been waking up screaming like something is wrong. Its gotten to be more and more often now. I let her cry for an hour or more but she continues screaming, so i give in and have been putting her to bed with me. i know i shouldnt do this. should i just let her scream herself to sleep, even if it takes all night?
My 2 year old will not go to bed without a bottle and will not sleep through the night. I tried to let him cry it out but he is too persistent and makes himself sick over it inevitable breaking me heart until I give in. I get so frustrated and cannot get a good nights sleep. The other half of the story is that he is with his dad 3 nights a week and his dad let’ shim sleep in his bed. How do I get him to sleep on his own at my house. We used to just fine before he started staying with his dad. HELP!!!!
thank you.
-Rachael Allen
Hi there. I’ve got into a terrible habit of giving my 15th month old a dummy whenever he wakes up in the early hours of the morning so he goes back to sleep until 7. He has all his naps and goes to bed without a dummy, but since he was poorly about a month ago, the dummy seemed to soothe him, and now he is waking up I think for it. I have a little girl, who is a light sleeper, and I think if I leave him to cry out, he’ll wake her too, and the whole house will be up at 5 in the morning! Help! How do I get him to re-settle until morning without having to get up and give him the dummy?
My 10 month old twin boys sleep in the same room, but separate cribs. John wakes up crying loudly one to two times a night wanting a bottle. Jacob sleeps through the night (He must be used to John’s crying). How can I get John to sleep through the night? He drinks 8 oz of formula before he goes to sleep on his own at 7:30pm. I’m not sure if he’s really hungry or just wants a reason to get up. Is 12 hours too long for him to go without a bottle?? Once he drinks he goes right to sleep though and sleeps until 7:00am.
We live in a drafty old house, and when our son was born it was the middle of winter. Since I was a new mom, I was convinced he would freeze to death, so I began bringing him into our bed. When I went back to work, this was great because I didn’t have to get up in the middle on the night to feed him. Now he’s ten months old. My doctor says he should no longer be eating all night, but he does. My house is also a disaster because I have to go to bed with him to get him to sleep the proper amount of time (usually 8-ish). I can rock/nurse him to sleep around 7 and put him in his crib, but that only lasts around 40 minutes before he is up screaming again. And when I try to put him in the crib awake, even if I’m sitting in the rocking chair next to him, he screams until I pick him up. He screamed 3.5 hours the first night, 4 hours the second night, 5 hours the third night, and on the 4th night, I couldn’t handle it any more. ANY advice for a child who simply doesn’t want to be put down?
Please please please help. My 13 month old never sleeps .She has a bedtime routine and goes down fine , but its keeping her asleep thats the prpblem. She also only has 2 , 10 minute cat naps in the day.
when she wakes its normally anything from midnight to 2am ,she then stays awake until 4,5am. My husband works 9 hour days. I work part-time 2 evenings a week and every other saturday a 12hour shift. I physically cannot cope. I feel ill due to lack of sleep and cannot cope aymore. we have tryed everything to letting her cry to soothing and rubbing her head. She slept through for 6 nights in a row and then she would wake. Out of 7 nights she will sleep for 2 of them. I have asked for help from every aspect in the UK and nothing is working. I also have a 7 year old , who is also being kept awake by our babie. My first child slept staright through from age of 4 weeks. Please help before I lose my mind!!!.
my daughter brianna just turned two oct2 and she still get’s up at night she falls asleep ok but around 2am she starts too cry and she will cry till me or my husband give her a bottel thers’s times were she will stay up for two hours, and screams az loud az she can till we give up and once she has her bottel shell sleep the rest of the night i dont know what to do anymore we’ve tryed everything please help me :)
All of your information is SOOOOOOOOO helpful, but I have TWINS, I cannot let one cry when I withold a feeding at night because they wake up the other baby. WHat do I do for twins? Tthey are 16 months and want to nurse back to sleep at night. I too am worn out.
My 9 month old son goes to sleep around 8:30pm. Throughout the night he moves a lot. He will change to be on his tummy then sometimes wakes himself up. After 4-5 hours of sleep, he wakes up and will not settle back to sleep. He will sit up in his cot and want a feed at 4-5am. Can you help me with this issue. Thanks
My son is 16 months old and I decided to take away his pacifier (cold turkey; he only used it for sleep before this). It has COMPLETELY thrown off his sleep. He used to sleep from 7:45 until about 7:30AM everyday. For the past two days he has been waking up at 5:30 and has not been able to fall back to sleep on his own. What should I do??? PLEASE HELP! Thanks Dana!
My baby girl slept well at night until she was about 5 months old. She slept in a bassinet beside my bed but outgrew it. I tried to move her to her cot but she just screamed and wouldn’t sleep. I moved her to a portacot in my room. I had to get up so many times a night that I eventually moved her to my bed. She is now 10 months old and still sleeping in my bed. She needs a feed to go to sleep and wakes up anywhere between 4-10 times a night. Most of the time she wont go back to sleep until she gets a feed. She has two really short naps during the day. She is a very active and happy baby and the broken sleep does not seem to affect her at all. I have so many sleep problems I don’t know where to start. I am very opposed to letting her cry it out or using controlled crying.
My son is 15 months and will not go to bed without his bottle. He then wakes up 3 to 4 times during the night to drink water or black tea without sugar. I have ried the cry out method but no luck, he only screams to whole house down. Also lately after he wakes up at around 02:00 in the morning he is wide awake and we struggle for about 2 hours getting him back to sleep. Any suggestions?
My son Rayan is almost 7 months old and he won’t put himself to sleep on his own except when he is exhausted. We have a bedtime routine, but he won’t fall asleep on his own: needs to be held.
At night he keeps on waking up between 8pm and 12:00 am and then he wakes up again at 3 am.
We tried to let him cry out: he goes crazy and starts scratching himself.. we tried to stay next to his crib without holding him but it does not work either…
Please help.
Lara
My daughter is 22 months old, and we must sleep in the same room together. The only way she’ll go back to sleep after a night wakening is by being walked for 5-15 minutes. Being in the same room poses a problem if I wanted to allow her to just cry it out. She will stand in her crib and cry and bang on the rails if I do not pick her up and walk with her. Due to some back pain ithismakes it difficult to hop right out of bed and immidiately tend to her, and she cries more if I sit down and do not nurse her.
HI, I have a beautiful 6 month old son who is usually able to settle himself to sleep in his cot most nights and for most day naps, however, he is waking every night anywhere between 4-7 times. He will only re-settle if I breastfeed him, mind you he doesn’t really feed much he suckles lightly. He is awake when I then put him back in the cot and will then go to sleep only to repeat the process again and again. I have tried to let him cry it out but he gets so hysterical that I get upset and nurse him. Is letting him cry the only option here???
I have an 18 month old son which several months ago we used the ‘cry it out’ method to get him to fall asleep on his own. It worked very easily and the longest it ever took was 30 minutes one night. However my son has been plagued with ear infections followed by a stomach virus which led to my husband and I waking in the middle of the night to treat his discomfort. Again we were in the habit of waking up in the middle of the night and again not able to get him to sleep on his own. We tried the cry it out method again and he went into a shear panic screams and BM’s, which resulted in us changing his diaper and starting our routing all over again. Now we rock him to sleep each night… he wakes up once but will not fall back to sleep in his crib. We bring him to bed with us where he falls asleep but his constant motion prevents my husband and I from getting a restful sleep. Help!
My son is a little over nine months old and lets us know he is ready for a nap by rubbing his eyes. We then give him a pacifier & a lovey and put him to bed without any problems. He would roll around a little and go to sleep. Our evening routine is bath, bottle, book & bed (still with a pacifier & lovey.) This worked for awhile, but recently, he falls asleep during the bottle and doesn’t make it to the book. He will often wake up at 4:30 and will not go back to sleep without a bottle. I tried to stop this feeding cold turkey, and it was rough. Last night, he woke up twice and went back to sleep, but while holding my finger (and pacifier & Lovey). I don’t mind the first two, but I want him to learn to put himself back to sleep without me or a bottle. What would you suggest. He started out great, but has regressed, I suppose.
my 21 month old still doesn’t sleep through the night. He has been going to sleep effortlessly every night since we tried the crying interval method and took his soother away when he was 12 months to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. He still however doesn’t stay asleep. Sometimes he’s up 4 or 5 times! I don’t feed him, and I don’t go to him unless he’s been crying for a minimum of 15-20 minutes….many times he goes back to sleep on his own but then an hour later he’s crying again. This happens over and over all night. What can I do? I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown as I work full time and can barely make it through the day! His pediatrician says it’s a behavioural issue as he’s checked him out thoroughly for me. Help, I’ve bought 5 different books and they all say once he can put himself to sleep on his own, he’ll stay asleep. Nothing is working.
My 2 year old refuses to go to sleep without a bottle. We had him broke for about a week, and he was only taking a sip of water from his cup a few times a night. We were very upset when he started screaming for a bottle again at bedtime. We ended up giving into him and only giving him the bottle at bedtime. This was about 3 months ago, and much to my dislike, he is still going to bed with the bottle and insists on having a refill anywhere from 2 to 4 times a night. When I try to soothe him back to sleep without it, he cries until he throws up. I am at my witts end, and I feel just as exhausted as I did when he was an infant, if not more. I dont know how much longer I can deal with waking up so many times a night. Help!!
My 6 month old still wakes up three times a night. He falls asleep on his own every night at 8pm with or without a bath. He wakes up twice for no reason, no feeding required. One of these wakes, he will stay up for almost an hour fussing and then eventually crying until I feed him. The third wake time is 6am for a feeding and he goes back to sleep until 8am. He naps well during the day. What can I do besides letting him cry it out – which I don’t like, to ensure he sleeps through the night. He used to only wake up once for his 6am feed but two months ago he started with the two additional wakings. Thanks!
My 16 month old son wakes up without fail every morning between 4.30 and 5am and that’s him up for the day. He has an hour and a half sleep at lunch time and goes to sleep (by himself) between 7 and 7.30 at night. We don’t feed him or play with him or anything like that , but he just alternates between talking / crying / whining until he wakes his 3y.o. sister up. What can we do so that our day doesn’t start at 4.30am?
I read the article on the 13 month old waking up 3 times during the night. How do I handle twins who are 3 years old sleeping in the same room? One still wants the bottle and cries and sometimes the other wants the bottle and also cries. Then one of the twins doesn’t want to sleep in his bed. Very exhausting!
how do i get my 10 and a half month old out of my bed and into his own i tried everything,but once he wakes up he wont go back too sleep in his own bed,can u help me with this problem.thanks
My son is almost 14 months old as does a great job sleeping during the day. 2 two hour naps a day. He is however been going to bed btw. 7:30 and 8 and then wanting to get up at 5 a.m. I tried letting onenap go and he could not make it all day with just one nap. what do I do! I am exhausted from starting my day earlier than necessary!
I have the same problem with my one year old, awakes 3 times per night and my partner just brings him into my bed and gets me to feed him. I awake exhausted every morning and I am so over it! I want to wean him but can’t.
The trouble is he falls asleep on the breast every nap time and at bedtime.
How do I break that habit?
Lyn
My 2 year boy has always been a bad sleeper. Some nights he goes down to sleep ok, other nights it can take over an hour for him to settle.
He sleeps well until midnight, then is extremely restless from then on, regularly waking up 2-3 times for reaasurance. He then wakes up anytime between 4.30 and 5.30am, and will not go back to sleep !! He then sometimes naps at 9am. We have tried being firm and putting him back to bed, but he ends up screaming the house down and waking my 5 year old son. How can I get him to sleep in to a more acceptable hour ? I could cope with 6am, so I’m not asking for much !!
hi alice (above)
i had the same problem with my first born, couldn’t even walk past his room on tip toe without him waking!! and God forbid hw would sleep anywhere other than his cot! this is what i ended up doing:
1. i just accepted that some people are lighter sleepers, i can’t sleep unless its pitch black and no noise, a bird on the roof would wake me up! sometimes its just hereditary!
2. i let him cry it out, if i wend in and he saw me he would lose the plot as he thought i was comming in to pick him up or hold him so i went cold turkey, day AND night, the first two days were maddness and i was CONVINCED he was crying for hours on end, on day two i actually timed him and it was only 25mins of crying and not “hours”. i think as mothers we just get caught up in it so maybe try it and see.
i turned off all the phone ringers in the house except the cordless phone and just had that with me so i could answer it as soon as it rang.
my boy is now 2 1/2 and he has slept through the night since he was 7 months old, he still occasionally wakes but its always a bed dream, thirsty, or he’s lost “monkey”
i always tried to put him down to sleep awake, if he fel asleep while feeding i would make sure he was at least semi awake when he went into his cot, he hated it but it onle took three days of consistency and he figured out this was the new routine, you gotta get tough luv, i felt horrible like i was a bad mother, but then i thought of the brat he would become later and that made me feel worse!
he’s an angel now and does what he’s asked when he’s asked, i was criticised for being too firm and was told ” you can’t spoil them” and “how can you be so cold” etc, remember they don’t have to be there when things fall apart or when you can’t get anything done! i hope you reclaim your days back soon :) and know that you have my full support! we’ve all been there. rasha taylor rshataylor@hotmail.com
PS Hollie also has a dummy and always used to wake up find her dummyherself and go back to sleep but now she cries for her dummy some times and will then just go back to sleep but more often than not when we go in she already has her dummy and her teddy and is just rolling round her cot crying
My daughter Hollie is 14 months old and has always been really good when it comes to sleeping. She has slept through the night since she was 5 weeks old and has always been able to get herself off to sleep at night times. However, the last couple of months or so she keeps waking up anywhere from 2 or 3 times a night to 6 times a night and we dont know why. She isnt hungry and it cant be her teeth all the time. Sometimes she will have a drink of water and sometimes she just cries and cries and nothing we do seems to sooth her. if she does calm down she will often go mad the minute we leave her room again and gets herself in a real state. She seems to sleep through one night then for 3 or 4 nights after she has us up and down all night then she will sleep through again and we cant think of any pattern or reason why. We have tried giving her a bottle, leaving her in her cot and soothing her, when she is a state we sit in her room and read her another story and try and get her back to bed but we are at a loss as to why this is now happening or how to deal with it.
aydin is 13 month and sleeps 8 till 6 most nights occasionally waking about 1 am and he cant go back to sleep without milk, i have tried letting him cry and giving him water but didnt work. i know the problem is that he falls asleep at night and for his naps with a bottle so he cant get to sleep without one, how can i get him to fall asleep without a bottle of milk?
i have a 6 month year old who sleeps through the night from 6.00PM and falls asleep on her own. She has recently started instead of waking at 6Am wakes at 5 to 5.30 crying and will not accept anything but breast milk not sure what ti do should i start the day then or try to let her cry it out?
My 7 month old son wakes up every hour when put to bed for the night. He has to be held to fall asleep and then will wake up every hour until I finally just bring him to bed with me. Even then, he will wake up every couple of hours and need to be soothed back to sleep.
I have tried putting him down awake, but after a few minutes he’ll start crying which my husband can’t tolerate.
My husband refuses to do any sleep training that involves short periods of crying, but I am beginning to get desperate and wondering if this is going to carry on for years to come? How do I stop it now and keep everyone happy?
Hello,
My 10 month old boy goes to bed great around 7:30p.m. and sleeps until 4:00a.m. when he wakes up wanting his sippy cup with formula. After eating I put him back in his crib awake and he falls back to sleep until 7:30a.m. What can my husband and I do to get him to cut out that last feeding that is hanging on? Thanks!
Sorry I should have added that Sebastian is one year old
I have the same issue as Jamie, we have followed sleep sense since Sebastian was three months old and it worked amazingly well. However over the last month he has been really hard to get him to nap, I am trying to do one nap in the middle of the day but he only sleeps for one hour which I don’t think is enough, BUT the major problem is he is screaming for over an hour or two at night and is not going to bed like he used to. He gets so worked up, I think its his teeth but Im unsure!
Its becoming very stressful as he will often be waking up and screaming until 9pm at night, when he used to be out of it by 6-6:30pm! what do we do????
My 14 mo. old was nursed and was fed on demand even at night. 6 months ago, I broke her from the night nursing habit, but the wakings continued. I tried various methods and eventually turned to the cry-it out method.. for up to two weeks… this didn’t help.
She falls asleep on her own always, (has not been nursed to sleep since long before I cut her off from night nursings) but has never been able to do so without crying. Usually the crying is between 5-10 min. Therein lies the problem. When she wakes at night, even though she can put herself to sleep, she cries for at least 5-10 minutes 4-6 times a night (or sometimes 2 1.5 hr. stints) and wakes everyone else up multiple times a night in the process. We are all exhausted.
She is weaned now- has been for several months and this has not helped. She fights naps horribly- always has- and I was never able to establish a nap schedule that did not require me to let her cry it out (often 30 min) to get to sleep. She never sleeps longer that 1.5 hrs., even when I cut her nap to once a day with 9 hours of sleep at night. We have nice routines, she has two older siblings. She shares a room with a 4 year old sister who is good about sleep. She has a lovey. We have tried white noise and sunset lamps. What else can I try?
My son is almost 9 months old and wakes up 7+ times every night. My husband and I are both college students and we live in a one bedroom studio-style apartment so we all three sleep in the same room. I think that the problem is that he wakes up at any little sound because the three of us in there creates too much background noise through out the night. I dont know how to solve this problem, he sleeps better when we sleep out on the couch but that is hardly a long term solution, and even then he still wakes up around 3 times every night. Suggestions? I am 2 months pregnant and exhausted, I just need a few hours of uninterupted sleep. I am breastfeeding him still and plan on tandem nursing both children.
i have the same problems as Jackie and Fran my son is 13months old and sleeps in my bed and nurses basically all night long!! sometimes for a few hours i can sleep apart from him but he wakes and wants to nurse. He takes one 2 hour nap a day and sometimes i have to put him back to sleep during nap also. he usually goes to be around 8pm and wakes 7:30am and eats 3 meals plus 2 to 3 snacks and drinks whole milk threw out the day. PLEASE HELP US THAT ARE BEING USED AS PACIFIERS BY OUR CHILDREN!!!
hi,
My baby, Mekus, is 17mths old. He was exclusively breastfed for 6 mths and still breastfeeds now – mostly at night and when he feels sleepy. He normally takes a nap about mid day , most times, he sleeps again at about 7pm only to wake up some hours later.
He ends up not sleeping again until we turn in for the night ourselves. I have had to hold him down for him to even sleep
My son is going to be 3 1/2 years soon. He still gets up at least once (or twice) in the middle of the night. Has to drink something. Water, milk or gerber baby juice. And then will go back to sleep. It’s a bad habit that I can’t seem to break. But he has pre-school in the morning so I just give it to him, so he goes back to sleep faster.
What to do?
My son is 13 months old and still takes a bottle before falling asleep at night. He can’t fall asleep on his own and requires us to put him to sleep by walking him and/or patting his back. He still wakes up 2-3 times a night and can’t fall back asleep without our help. He does not require a bottle to get back to sleep. He is a reflux baby but is otherwise healthy. Please help I haven’t slept through the night in over a year and I am exhausted!
Hi! I have a beautiful 3 1/2 month old baby girl. I have a few questions/ concerns. First, I was told that I could not spoil her. Well, now I question that. My baby will only fall asleep after nursing. She wakes with the slightest noise day/ night. She wakes when I put her down for nap/bed. She doesn’t nap anywhere but at home and that’s only for about 30 minutes while being held. I am getting zero done. I can’t put her down to sleep (she’ll cry or play… not sleep). I can’t talk above a whisper when she does try to nap. I’m missing calls and can’t go anywhere. She’s a good baby and I know she is exhausted. She fusses or is hyper most of the time. I am typing this while she takes her short nap, on my lap, just finished nursing. I’m worried she is spoiled and I’ve created future problems. HELP!! We both need sleep!!! Thank you so much!!
My 12 month old has been waking up numerous times in the night ever since she was a newborn. It has now gotten to the point where I take her out of bed about the 3rd time she wakes and sleep with her in the guest bed just so I can get some sleep. I’ve recently started feeding her a bottle when she wakes as well because I have run out of options on how to put her back to sleep. Another problem is that she goes to bed around 7:30 but wakes up between 4:00 AM and 5:30 AM and that has become the routine for months now. I am exhausted. Please help!!!
I have a 17 month old boy who used to sleep through the night 7:30 to 7:30. He was always a self soother since he sucks his thumb, and slept really well since he was 3 months old. The last week he for some reason isn’t letting us put him in his crib. When we do he screams uncontrollably until we get into his room and bring him into our bed. I can’t even get him down. When he finally falls asleep in our bed, I try to transfer him, but he always wakes up in the process and continues to freak out until I put him back in our bed. What can we do??
I guess I break all the records here – I have a 3 year-old boy who has not slept through the night ever since he was born! He only falls asleep if I lie down with him in his bed. Because he is tired after spending his day at the daycare, he usually falls asleep in about 5 to 10 mins, so I really do not mind lying there with him. But the problem is he wakes up 2 to 3 times in the night and does not fall back to sleep until he is fed (he insists on having milk with a cookie mixed to it). I have tried making him fall back to sleep without the feeding, but he starts to cry and gets to the point of screaming it out! I’m tired from a busy day at work and I have not slept well in more than 3 years: what can be done to have him sleep through the night without those feedings which I more than sure he does not need anymore?!
My 7 Month old has been so good to go to sleep on his own at night and for naps. recently it has been a struggle to get him to do either on his own. He wakes up 2-3 times during the night before 6:30-7:00 a.m.. He screams so loud that I just give in and give him a bottle. Any suggestions?
I have been trying to get my 10 month old son to sleep in his own bed almost a week and I am getting really tired. I let him cry in his crib and I do go in every 15 minutes talk to him in a soft voice and leave. (for naps and bed) After a while i do give up only at the nights not his naps. The father seems he does’nt want to help or have any part of this and I will be going to work soon, in 2 and a half weeks. what should I do, continue putting my son in his crib and let him cry? Please HELP me Dana I am stressed and very tired. HELP ME!!!
My 2 year old goes to bed fine but will wake up 2-5 times during the night screaming uncontrollably and is irrational. She has always slept through the night or if she would wake up it would be every now and then and you could tell her to go back to sleep and she would. If daddy goes in, she wants mommy and vice versa. Oftentimes she doesn’t even want me to touch her! Sometimes she asks for a cup or water, but we try to hold her off until 6:00 or 7:00 am before giving her more to drink. We’ve tried letting her cry for 5-10 minutes to see if she’ll self soothe, but it just turns into uncontrollable crying and screaming. We don’t know what to do and we are craving a good night sleep again.
My daughter is thirteen months old. We give her a bottle and let her lay down with us on the couch and then we put her to bed. She goes to sleep on her own but wakes up and wont go back to sleep unless she is put in our bed. I didn’t care when she was a couple months old but shes a lot bigger now and we want our bed back.
I have 13 month old twin boys and my husband and I have not slept a whole night for 13 months. We also have a 7 year old who sometimes is affected. I have 2 problems one of the boys will go to sleep on his own with a little crying, the other one will not he will cry for over and hour hysterically and he will only go to sleep with a bottle. I tried breaking them form the bottle by only putting water in it, but that didn’t work. I know they are way past needing a bottle. Also the same twin that will not go to sleep without a bottle wakes up at least 3 times a night and will not go back to sleep on his own, usually causing my other twin to then wake up. It just seems to be a neverending process, and I am extremely worn out. My daughter was so easy when she was a baby. I need help! I need sleep!!
Hi,
I have a 7 month old with GERD, who wkaes up on average two times a night to feed.
Normally Noah puts himself to sleep between 6-7 each night relatively easily. He then wakes up between 11-12 to feed and goes back to sleep quickly.
HOWEVER, he then wakes up between 2:30 and 3:30 each night and we can not get him back to sleep. On average he is awake for at least 1.5 hours. While he attempts to fall asleep and is clearly tired, he rolls and rolls until he gets frustrated and then wakes himself up.
If we do manage to get him to sleep quickly he then proceeds to wake up at 5:00 and will not go back to sleep.
Needless to say this pattern is very tiring and we need it to stop.
Please help!
Hello Dana. My daughter is studying for her phd in psychology and because it is so intense and she works also at the hospital (3 full days a week) she is exhausted because Alex – her 2year old son- still won’t go to sleep on his own . He wakes more than once every night – she has tried the sit and move away method without success and she and her husband are just so exhausted, they just pick him up and put him in their bed so they can some sleep.
my daughter is 4 months old and has been sleeping through the night ever since she was 5 weeks old, until recently. She now is waking up anywhere between 3 and 5 am every night. We have been giving her naps on schedule for her age and sometimes she goes down without crying but I don’t know what to do about her waking up in the middle of the night. I feed her a little bit before bed, could she be getting hungry? She usually wakes up happy until we don’t get her out of bed, then she cries. Please help! The naps are wonderful but I am not sure if not sleeping through the night is worth it.
neev is 13 month old she still wakes up 3 times during night she goes to bed between 10and 11. she takes 2 good napes during the day i dont feed her during the night until she had a bad day about her food schedule and i know she did not eat well during the day and that only happens once in a while. she wakes up and i rock her back to sleep or if m too tired after work i just lie her down on me on my bed and just kind of pat her and she goes to sleep after 10- 15 minutes. and people have suggested me to let her cry i think i dont have courage to do that every next day i feel i will try to do that but i think i can not do that suggest if there is any other way.
kalen,goes to bed at 8pm & still wakes up at least 2-3 tmes a night .He is 15 months old. please help.
Our son is going on 10 months old and he falls asleep in his crib most nights after a little cuddling. However, he’ll wake up between 1am and 2am crying for someone to come get him. So I’ve tried to go in and lay him back down in an effort to get him to soothe himself back to sleep. And this worked for about a week, until my husband and I had to go out of town and we had to leave him with my mother. She would take him out of the crib and put him in the bed with her to soothe him back to sleep. Now he won’t go back to self soothing in his crib no matter how much we’ve tried. Letting him cry all night is not an option. What can we do to get him to sleep in his crib without waking all night even when he stays with my parents overnight?
Same thing! Sometimes Tate is a perfect baby. Goes in his crib with no fuss and falls perfectly to sleep with his blanky and teddy. This will continue for about a week or two – only up once in the night, then, all of a sudden he is a bear for a week or so. Acting overtired and screams instead of taking a bottle nicely and falling to sleep peacefully. These mood swings are very frustrating. He hates his car seat so very unreliable to take anywhere. hmmm…… Help!
My 11-month-old daughter used to be able to go to sleep on her own with a pacifier, and I would take the pacifier out from her after she was asleep. But she started to get back up and refused to lie down after I put her down since 2 or 3 weeks ago. Now we need to put her in a stroller and rock her to calm her down until her eyes are about to close and bring her to bed. And she wakes up crying and doesn’t necessarily go back to sleep even if I give her the pacifier. I need to pick her up or rock her for her to fall back to sleep. It’s very frustrating and tiring. HELP!! What can we do???
How do I help teach my 14 month old to fall asleep on her own?
I feel like we’ve really missed the window for teaching her this vital lifeskill, as she still needs either movement (walk in the buggy or trip in the car) or a breastfeed in order to fall asleep … otherwise she just fights sleep every step of the way and ends up screaming to the point of hysteria and vomiting everywhere!
It’s a real nightmare, my husband and I are totally exhausted (as she demands breastmilk 3-6 times a night, every night) and as you say, she’s too old to need any of this milk.
We really don’t know where to turn next! Please HELP us Dana!
HELP!!! My 5 mth old son doesn’t put himself to sleep. He cries for a bottle when he’s tired and because we are so tired of holding him we just lay him down with it and that’s how he falls asleep for naps and at bedtime. As for night wakings, he wakes up about 5 times and each time a diaper change is required. I am so exhausted. I myself get no sleep. what should he eat during the day? Maybe he’s just not full. I don’t know but I feel like a zombie! PLEASE HELP!
My daughter who is now 1 goes to bed fine for her daddy, he gives her cuddles in her bedroom and lays her down awake, she then just takes herself to sleep with no fuss. However, if I take her to bed, she cries for about 15 minutes before going to sleep. Also, she might wake at about 5:30 in the morning and still be really sleepy but she won’t go back to sleep if you leave her, however, if I feed her she might go back to sleep but this isn’t consistent. Help…what can I do to make putting her to bed less traumatic than her daddy putting her to bed and how can we get her to take herself back to sleep when she wakes early morning?
My 9 1/2 month old falls asleep in mine or my husband’s arms right after he drinks his bottle at 730pm. we put him down at 8pm usually already asleep. he had a reflux problem when he was younger so I am nervous about putting him down to soon after he drinks his bottle. no nightly feedings since he was 4 months old. But, he wakes up at least twice at night crying and he eventually goes back to sleep after we console him, no we do not pick him up. Usually he wakes up because he has an air bubble or can’t find his pacifier. We keep about 5 pacifier in the bed too! What else can we do? When we will these nightly crying episodes be done?
My daughter is six months old and still not sleeping through the night. Her brother started sleep through the night when he was 3 months old. My husband and I are very tired. She is getting up typically 2 times to eat. She eats frequently during the day and weighs 15 pounds. She is on soy formula. Do you think that has anything to do with it. Maybe not staying with her long enough?
My son is 11 month old and has some very poor sleeping habits and activities happening around night time. Two in particular, which my husband, my mother, and I have struggled now for about 7 months or so. He suffered from strong colic problems since he was about 2 month old and since then his nights and day have been inverted. Here is how it goes, he wakes up at 12PM or 1Pm in the afternoon every day, because the night before he’ll finally fall asleep any time after midnight. We have tried setting him on a routine and setting him to sleep early, which works to an extend, he’ll stay asleep for an hour (a nap) and he’s then alert for the rest of the night till about 12AM or 12:30AM because that nap re-energizes him. (That’s his first issue)
The second issue comes after he has fallen as sleep. It is 1:30 AM and my son is bawling, crying hysterically with tears in his eyes and a scared look on his face. We flick the lights on and wake him up–yes, he’s having night terrors/nightmares. It is now half an hour later (2:00AM) and he’s finally falling asleep until about 8AM for his bottle, and finally wakes up for the day at noon sometimes 1PM. We have brought it up to our Pediatrician, which he brushes off and says “Scared? He shouldn’t be scared at this age!” And that’s the end of it with him.
This is a frustrating issue which has my husband, my mother, and myself sleep deprived. We share the “sleep depriveness” because my mother helps us out by keeps him over night every other day.
Dana, please help, we are lost and don’t know what to do! It is pretty sad to know that we do not have control over his sleep and he’s exausted by the time he finally falls asleep (at 2:00AM) which I’m pretty sure he’s not healthy.
Thank you.
–Mary
my 7 month old son is waking up in the night still and wanting milk n wont go to sleep till he has it i have now put him onto water insted of milk but he is still waking the same amount of times a night and drinking more of it, is this normal for his age as many other kids i know at his age sleep a good 10/12 hours.
My son is soon to be 3 years old and he will not sleep in his room. I have tried to let him cry it out and go to sleep on his own but that didn’t work. I also have sit with him till he went to sleep but he wakes up and will not go back to sleep until he is in the bed with me. What do I do to get him to sleep in his own bed all night?
My 9 month old used to sleep through the night until she was about 6 months old. When I say sleep through the night I mean 10 to 12 hours. Then we had a few things happen and everything changed. I know that when you change things or have stressful times that the babies will react to this and stop sleeping through the night but this has been happening for over 3 months now. We did find out that part of our problem was giving her the pacifier at night so we stopped that. It has been about 2 months since she has not had a pacifier at night but she is still waking several times a night. She will wake up anywhere from 1 time to almost every hour. And there is no rhyme nor reason to when she wakes up. We do not pick her up over night unless she is really inconsolable otherwise we either just sit in the room with her until she falls back asleep or just put a hand on her back and that calms her down and back to sleep rather quickly. Is there anything else that we can do to get her back to sleeping throughout the night?
MY 23 MONTH OLD BOY FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS HAS BEEN HAVING AT LEAST ONE OR TWO SOMETIMES THREE NIGHT WAKENINGS. HE SETTLES VERY WELL AT BED TIME AROUND 8PM, NO ISSUES THERE BUT ANYTIME AFTER 12 MIDNIGHT HE BEGINS TO CRY AND SCREAM AND WOULD CONTINUE TO DO SO FOR AS LONG AS I WOULD LET HIM. IT IS NOT HUNGER AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GO INTO HIS ROOM, SAY NOTHING, TUCK HIM BACK IN AGAIN WITHOUT HIS COMPLAINT AND THAT WOULD SETTLE HIM FOR ONLY A COUPLE OF HOURS BEFORE IT ALL KICKS OFF AGAIN. I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY HE IS DOING THIS. WE HAVE TRIED THE CONTROLLED CRYING FOR THE FIVE, TEN MINUTE ROUTINE AND WE ARE STILL HAVING THIS PROBLEM. DO I JUST GRIT MY TEETH AND HOPE SOMEDAY IT WILL ALL STOP?
This sounds exactly like the issue I’m having with my 19 month old daughter. (so its def not a gender thing lol) She goes to bed great at 8:30 with her older brother who is 2 &1/2. As soon as 12 mid night rolls around I am in her room consoling her and she goes right back to sleep after a quick hug outside her crib. This will happen between 2-3 more times during the night. I am exhausted as well and I know how it feels. If you have heard anything back regarding this issue please pass it on. Good luck
My daughter is 4 mths old and she goes to sleep on her own with alittle bit of crying but is doing it but she still is getting up in the middle of the night for a feeding but she does not eat a full bottle is this normal for her age? people tell me she should be sleeping through the night.
Hi I have a 21 month old daughter that doesn’t like to sleep she only naps for an hour during the day and 8-9 hours at night she goes to bed sometimes 8 or 9 and wakes up around 6 for milk, if I don’t give her milk she won’t sleep it has been few nights that she goes to bed at 9 and wakes up at 2 for milk and won’t go to sleep for at least one hour later I am exhausted I need your help she also take pacifier to go to sleep at nights and for her nap please advice me of where to start thanksss
My 18 month old has been getting up in the middle of the night. She has been sleeping through the night since 9 weeks and now she wakes up crying. She goes to bed on her own very well with out crying. Is she too young for nightmares?
Alexander is almost 12 months old and he still takes a bottle before falling asleep and still wakes up on average about 2 – 3 times a night. We’ve tried the let him cry it out method, and unless he gets a bottle, he continues to cry for more than an hour. Even when he gets the bottle, he’ll wake up, stir, and seek out physical contact before falling back to sleep. He is a reflux baby, and still on medication, but is otherwise very healthy.
Please help!!!
Thank you
My son is 13 months and has been and continues to be on demand breastfed! He also still sleeps with us half way through the night! The problem is he still wants to nurse basically the whole time he’s laying next to me. I know he’s not hungry, but is just pacifying himself. He will not take a pacifier or anything besides me! He does not fall asleep at bedtime without being fed unless we are in the car or a rare accurance where he falls asleep with daddy holding him. I am so ready for a full nights sleep, but don’t like the idea of letting him cry it out. Does he need to be in his own room, or is there any hope for us, or have we just created some bad habits never to be broken?!!! Please Help!!!
My 3 year old goes to sleep by himself, but just in the last year he wakes up every night at about 2am and cries or comes in with me and my husband. He says he is scared, but we don’t know of what. Please help us get a good night sleep.
I have a 4 year old girl who does not go to sleep at night till 1 or 2 in the morning. She takes NO NAPS all day, and I have eliminated sugars from her diet. The Dr feels this is her schedule, but this can’t be normal for a child. She has been doing this ever since she left her crib at about 2 years of age. EVERY night she does this – this is not random or once in awhile. I have had family keep her overnight to show them that this is consistent behavior.
I have a 10 month old and I have put him in his own room, in his cot since the last 3 days. I have been trying to put him to bed at 7pm but I usually have to breastfeed him and then put him in his cot once he is asleep. He wakes up thrice and has to be rocked to sleep. But last night he just would not stop crying and I had to bring him to bed with me and feed him. Even though he does go to sleep sometimes on his own in the cot, how do I make him do that every time I put him to sleep??? Please help me. Im going crazy and it is putting a real strain on my marriage as bringing a baby to your bed every night is really not the best option! Thank you
I have recently stopped feeding my four month old in the middle of the night, but she is still waking at about 3:30 every morning then again around 5:00. I was trying the “leave and check” method for a while, but she has started rolling over from front to back and she won’t fall asleep on her back so I’ve been going in almost immediately to keep her from rolling over. I’ll pat her on her back for a while, and if that doesn’t work I will end up giving her a pacifier. What can I do to teach her to sleep on her back and should I or shouldn’t I give her a pacifier? Is she even too young to be worrying about this? Also, my husband has to go to school early in the morning, and works late so I feel guilty letting her cry for too long because he needs his sleep. What can I do?
I have a 13 month old that use to go to bed by himself and in the last month he just cries when you put him in his bed by himself. He also gets up at least once in the middle of the night as well. We have been doing the let him cry himself to sleep, but that is very hard because his room is next to our 9 year olds room whom does not sleep that well with alot of noise. So are there anyother options besides letting him cry himself to sleep? HELP!!!!
My 13 month old still wakes up 23-4 times a night for a bottle. She takes regular milk now. She eats ok during the day. Sometimes I wonder if she eats enough. She seems to be very picky. Some nights I have a hard time getting her to sleep and have to rock her for a long time or lay with her. She usualy wakes up for the first time about 2 hours after she goes down. She shares a room with my 5 year old, so when she cries I have to take her out of the crib and put her in bed with me so my oldest can sleep. What do I do?!?!
I have a four year old daughter and a 16 month daughter. We only have two bedrooms so currently the baby is still in our room. The four year old dreams and talks in her sleep a lot, and the baby still wakes up to 3 times a night. I really want to move her out to her sisters room, but I am afraid they will just wake each other up more times at night. I have tried many months to get the baby to sleep through the night but it just does not work in our room. I am just so desperate for sleep, but what are the chances of both sleeping better when they are together in a room?
My daughter will be 3 in January, the problem we have is that she refuses to go to sleep on her own. She insists that either my husband or I stay with her until she falls asleep every night, which turns into a 45-60 minute process (often ending in World War III). We have tried the leave and check method, but once you leave, she gets out of bed. Last night she got out of bed 8 times in 10 minutes. Once she is asleep, she pretty much stays asleep thru the night, which is good, but we have to figure out a solution to ‘going to bed’. This is taking its toll on our patience, not to mention the only alone time my husband and I have! HELP PLEASE!!!
My son is 10 months old and just doesnt like to sleep. He has a set routine for bedtime, tea, playtime, bathtime and then bed and i can get him to sleep initally but after around an hour he just keep waking up. He drinks between 1 – 4 bottles of water a night and is always thirsty. I have tried leaving him to cry as people suggested but he just gets into such a state he is shaking! PLEASE PLEASE HELP!
Our 22 month old wakes up 5 to ten times a night wanting a bottle which is actually a sippy cup. She has never slept through the night in 22 months and we are physically exhausted. She was a preemie who had episodes of apnea so we always rocked her to sleep or slept with or near hear in case something happened. She will sleep on her toddler bed and fall asleep watching a movie only if her father or I are with her in the night. We don’t know what to do. I have ms and the sleepless nights are taking a toll on me. Please help!
My 8 month old goes to bed fine, waked up 3 to 4 hours later and from there it is a restless unsettled night, he cries, and rolls around, very unsettled. He was just diagnosed with Asthma so in the past it has been difficult because we were up giving breathing treatments through the night when he gets sick. Nothing seems to soothe him, I am mentally and physically exhausted, do I let him cry it out in his crib???
my 19 month old daughter wont sleep in her own cot no matter how hard i try. She has to fall asleep in my bed, i have to lie beside her untill she is asleep and when she is sleeping i put her in her bed, but she wakes in the nite and wont go back to sleep untill she is put back in my bed. i am always tired in the morning and i cant think of anything, i have tried leaving her to cry but she doesnt give in. what else can i do?
i have the same exact problem , did y find the answer please let me know.
How about just giving in and sleeping with her? Sounds like that’s what she wants and there is nothing wrong with that! You might get a better night’s sleep too. If you question the bedsharing issue and need support, just read any books on attachment parenting.
My 6month old boy is exactly the same lauren!! I am so exhausted as I havent had a full nites sleep since before he was born. Ive tried the cry it out method which resulted in him vomitting so never again. I have to ‘ssh ssh’ him and hold his hand or let him touch my face to get him back to seep even after that he will only sleep for 15 – 30 minutes. If I dont respond he starts to cry even louder.
Any suggestions on a what I can do, would be greatly asppreciated.
My 7 month old is a pretty good night sleeper, but around the early hours of 3:00-5:00am wakes crying for his pacifier. Very rarely does he fall asleep with a pacifier at the start of the night. And for naptime its 50-50, but after about 30-40 minutes during naps he wakes crying and I have to quick POP in the pacifier so he’ll fall back asleep to get finish his nap. (He only has a pacifier when its sleep time.)
My first 2 kids were thumb suckers and self-soothed, so I never had this problem. But I’m tired of running in to save the day, and want him to learn better self soothing skills and to become a better napper. Any advice on how to elminate the pacifier?
My 2 year old still has to have a sippy cup before going to sleep. He sits beside me in the chair or on the couch and goes to sleep. We then put him in his bed, in our room to sleep. He eventually wakes up crawls in bed with us and demands a cup. I have tried cold turkey, and it breaks my heart to know I have caused this and he cant possibly understand why I am taking it away now. I know I have waited way to long for all of these things. I am a first time mom and didnt know much better. Can you help or is it to late? Thank you.
My daughter Adelaide wont nap without me rocking her and when she wakes up after 30 min. on the dot she is screaming and will fall back to sleep if i pat her but wakes up 10 min. later. This is an ongoing fight that I go through for about an 1 hr. 1/2 until I’m satisfied she’s had at least a full hour of sleep. HELP****??
My five-month-old wakes up five or ten times every night. She puts herself to sleep at bedtime easily, but cries when she wakes at night. If it has been less than three hours since she last ate, then I let her cry herself back to sleep. I hoped that she would eventually learn, cry less, and go back to sleep quicker, or just wake up less, but we’ve been doing this for weeks and nothing has changed. What else can I do?