Click on the ‘Play’ button above to start video!
Are you struggling with YOUR child’s sleep?
Click here now for $142 in free tools and resources!
Babies, toddlers, older children. Guaranteed results.
Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
Are you trying to wean your baby from the breast and get them to stay in their crib at night? You’ve got your hands full, literally, but we might be able to make it go more smoothly for you and your child.
This week’s questions comes from Michelle, who asks:
“I have a 17-month-old that I’m working on weaning from the breast as well as getting him to sleep in his crib all night. He won’t go to sleep unless he’s rocked or nursed. I’ve tried to leave him in his crib on his own but he screams. I just can’t deal with that as it makes me feel terrible. How do I teach him to self-sooth and sleep in his own crib all night?”
Let’s set the weaning issue aside for the time being and instead focus on bedtime. If Michelle would like to nurse at bedtime, that’s okay. It’s also alright if she wants to get rid of it altogether. Either way, she’ll have to change the way she does it to stop her baby from falling asleep at the breast.
It’s important that there is a nice, clear bedtime routine. She doesn’t mention what time her son goes to bed at night, so I’m going to suggest a bedtime of around 7:00.
At about 6:30 p.m. I would start his routine with a bath. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a bath, but for this example he’ll have a bath at 6:30 and then get on his pajamas.
If you’ve decided to keep a feed in his routine, do that at this point while you sit up in a chair in his room, not lying in bed with him. Leave the lights on and don’t allow him to close his eyes while he’s feeding. Each time he does, give him a little poke or call out his name. If he’s trying to get to sleep while on the breast, you might even need to end the session a little earlier than normal.
A benefit of doing it this way is that once you break the connection the baby has between nursing and sleeping, the easier it will be to wean him. It becomes very difficult to wean if you’ve got a child who really associates sleep with feed.
It’s almost like you then have two problems instead of one. How do you stop him from nursing and how do you get him to sleep without nursing? It really becomes a problem, that’s why I suggest you go ahead with the feed if you feel that’s best. Just be sure that they don’t fall asleep there or even get a little drowsy, because you’re going right to the crib with him while he’s wide awake.
Now that he’s in his crib, you can turn off the lights but now you or your husband will stay in the room with him. Taking turns with your husband at this point of the routine is a great way for him to help. Nine times out of ten when fathers are the ones that stay in the room, it goes a lot smoother for everyone. And that’s wonderful for the fathers. A lot of dads feel helpless when their children are having sleep problems because it often involves mom and the breast and let’s face it; dads are out of the loop there. If your husband wants to help but isn’t sure how, this is a great time for him to jump into the bedtime routine.
Now, you or your husband is in the baby’s room, staying there until he’s asleep. Bring a chair into the room and sit right beside the crib. As outlined in the Sleep Sense Program, you’re going to sit beside the crib and if the baby stands up, try laying him down a few times. If that’s not working, go ahead and let him stand up. You’re going to keep repeating your key phrase “It’s sleepy time” or “It’s nighty night.”
If it makes the baby calmer, you can do a little bit of touching like rubbing his back or holding his hand, but be really cautious with this. We don’t want to actually loll him to sleep with anything, like your touch. Make your touches intermittent; offer, withdraw, offer, withdraw is the best way.
These ideas will get you through the first three nights, which are often the roughest nights during the transition.
Then on the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth nights you’re going to back yourself and the chair out of the room. By the end of ten nights, he’ll be falling asleep on his own without you or your husband’s assistance.
Because the baby is used to sleeping with you, he’s probably going to have some night wakings. He’ll sort of be holding out the hope that you’ll bring him to back your bed. It’s important that night wakings be handled in the same way though. You’ll have to go back in his room, sit in the chair, and say your key phrases, doing exactly like you did at bedtime, until he falls asleep.
I can’t say that the baby won’t cry; he probably will. Making changes to anyone’s sleep environment or sleep habits is always going to be met with some protest. Children and adults are very habitual about our sleep habits. If I came in and changed your personal sleep strategies, you’d feel some anxiety about it and probably wouldn’t like the idea. Changing your baby’s sleep habits is pretty tough to do without some type of protest.
The good news for your baby is that you and your husband will be there and he’ll realize that he’s got your support to get through this. What has to happen is that he needs to find some of his own skills to get himself to sleep, without relying on you to do all the work for him. The first couple of nights will be rough though.
In just a very few days, when you think of the big picture of your child’s life, this will be just a tiny blip on the radar and you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. I’d encourage you and your husband to get on board together; to really tackle this problem so you can have your bed back, and soon, very soon, all of you will sleep well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
WHen should a dream feed be stopped and how. My son is 6 months old and around 8.5 kilos. He has 4-5 feeds suring to day and a dream feed at between 10-11pm. However recently he has woken earlier around 9.30 so i have given it to him then and he has continued to sleep through. Ari however has always been an early riser between 5.30-6.30. He always self settles to sleep however we have tried everything and i dont feed him till 6.30 am despite when he wakes up. I would like to stop thew DF so i can go to bed earlier given that he is an early riser
There is probably 2 questions in this ceasing the DF and how to manage early rising.
thanks YVette
Hi Dana,
My son is now 11 months old and have not sleep through the night since birth. He goes to sleep at 8pm and wakes up at 11pm for milk and after that he gets up every hour. Sometimes I would feed him right back to sleep or walk him to sleep. I have tried many times not to walk or feed him to sleep but instead I just leave him in his crib and hoping he would go to sleep . After 4 hours, he still wide awake. His problem is he doesn’t know how to fall asleep on his own. I can’t go on like this any longer now tat he is getting bigger and heavier. It breaks my back every night walking him to sleep. I have tried the “cry it out” method but after 3 hours of crying I gave in, eventhough he is very tire but he just doesn’t know how to fall asleep on his own. Help, I really don’t know what to do. I am getting very desparate.
i have a 7 month old daughter that just will not sleep through the night. she goes down at night around 7pm without a problem and also has regular nap times during the day without a hitch. but a night time it is a different matter. she wakes up every 2 hours and the only way she will go back off is with a bottle. she knows it is night-time as she is never fully awake when she does wake up. ive tried letting her cry it out, boiled water, rubbing her back, giving her a big feed before bed time. shes on solids and loves them but just will not give her bottle up during the night. it is so much easier just to give her the bottle as it keeps her quiet and does not keep the rest of the house awake. i have also got 3yr old twin girls and never had this problem. as u can imagine having twins aswell and being up alnight with baby, im like a bear with a sore head in the morning if i dont give in, hope u can help me
I have a 19 month old little girl, who we have just moved into a single bed, due to having a second baby arriving in 5 weeks time. We have so far been trying to sleep her in this bed at niight now for 3 weeks. We find that she wakes and walks down to our bedroom wanting to get into bed with us. Despite taking her back to her own bed, and trying to resettle her, she may stay awake then for up to 2 hours at a time, dozing off and on during this time for attention. We have stopped giving her a bottle during the night, which did help settle her, we have also stopped letting her into bed with us, and I am now taking to sleeping on a mattress beside her bed, and then she seems to find her way onto the mattress. She use to resettle herself no problems when she was in a cot, but for some reason she does not seem to be able to. She has not been the best of sleepers since she was born, and is often a very restless sleeper. she does not have a dummy, but sleeps with a teddy bear. Her day time sleeps are from 1 hour to 2 hours a day. I have tried the whole walk out and come back in, letting her cry, which no matter how hard you try she continues to cry/scream…. that has never worked….. Any suggestions???? Am at my wits ends…..
I have a 15 month old that i finally got to go to sleep on her own about 3 months ago and everything was going great, till for some reason she figured out how to make herself get sick. Now everytime i put her in her crib she stands up and makes hersolf get sick by sticking her fingure in her mouth.I’ve asked everyone and no one has any idea of what i am to do. It now to the point i have to sleep with her on the futton so my husband can get a good sleep for work. I’mlost at what to do, if i can’t let her cry then what? Please help, Sincerly Sabrina
Dana,
All of the info on your site seems to be related to babies and toddlers, but my issue is with my nine year old son that doesn’t seem to be able to self sooth. He is terrified to go to sleep in his room if I am not there with him. Up until a couple weeks ago, I had to lay down with him, but now I am sitting in a chair in his room and then leaving after he falls asleep. When he wakes up at night, I am sending him to his room and telling him I will come kiss his cheek and then check on him in 10 minutes. Watching him experience this is really hard, as he is really just beside himself. He switched between getting hysterical and sobbing. At this point, I am sticking with it, but I am worried that I am emotionally harming my son with this approach.
I am still finding it hard during the night with my twins aged 14 months. Dylan will wake up twice durung the night, and wakes up at 6am, not bad, but Tyler will wake up to 6 times and up at 430am, I have tried making him go to bed an hour later (9pm instead of 8pm) and this had made no difference. Tried cutting his nap time down during the day, still no difference. I am so tired now. Ran out of ideas. Please help, I cant leave him to cry himself back to sleep as he wake Dylan up. Please help. Claire
Hi
I have a seven month old boy. His sleeping pattern is getting worse day by day. I usually take him up for bed around 7.30pm but he will not get to bed until 10.30 even after a bath. Recently he has giving up drinking bottle feeding and is back to breast – he refuses to take the bottle. Every time i put him down to bed in his cot he is up every hour. Due to this i have to give him my breast for about a few seconds and is back to sleep again but then again he is up again the next hour. I get so tied and soon i’ll be returning to work. I have also these couple of days introduced the dummy but as he refuses the bottle he also refuses the dummy. I really don’t know what to do. I also have a 5 yr old boy who is also very demanding. PLEASE HELP
Hi Dana,
My son is 7.5 months old and my husband and have followed your sleep program for a few months now with success thank you so much. My questions is how do I get him back to sleep after he wakes too early in the morning because his diaper is soaking wet or he has pooped? I try my best to change him before I go to bed around 10 or 11pm and most often again around 3am or 4am and both times he doesn’t wake up when I’m changing him which is great but if it’s after 4:30 am he will and he tends to hold his pee until around that time. I don’t talk to him I change him in his crib (always) I always change him in the dark (or as dark as the room can be) but he still wakes up thinking it’s time to get up. I’ve tried getting him to go back to sleep the way we do at night but he won’t have it….he starts to laugh and stand up and then when I leave crys and crys and crys…..screaming surfing around the crib. I’ve tried putting a toy in the crib which helps sometimes to keep him occupied but he never goes back to sleep….what should be we do??? By the way he normally wakes up around 6-6:30am when he doesn’t have a wet or poopie diaper.
Thank you so much for your help.
Maureen
Hi Dana,
My 2 month old baby sleeps well over night. She sleeps from 7:00 pm and wakes very early in the morning. The problem is that she dosen’t sleep during the day & if she sleeps, she dosent take more than half an hour and some times only 10 minutes before she wakes again ,so is it ok to stay awake all the day without sleeping. The other problem is that she sleeps while I am feeding here but some times she completes the bottle before she sleeps and when she tries to sleep, she could not and still crying until I hold here on my shoulder but I notice her sucking my clothes until she falling sleep. I am so tired with her pattern of sleeping what can I do???
Please help me
We have a three month old who used to sleep through the night very well (from 9pm – 7am). The past three weeks, he has gone back to his old routine of waking up at 3am or 4am and then again at 6:30am. What can we do to get him back on the “through the night” schedule?
Hi, Thank you so much for all your wonderful advise. My 14 month old sleeps for 12 hours now. (8pm-8am). She does not even cry when I put her in the crib anymore. My only concern is she uses a pacifier to fall asleep. I only allow the pacifier in her crib. When I check on her after she falls asleep, the pacifier is normally out of her mouth. I do however hear her during the night, she lets out a short 1 second cry and then sometimes I hear her sucking on the pacifier again. How do I take away the pacifier all together. I am afraid that she will stop sleeping for the nice long 12 hours. Or should I just wait and see if she just out grows the pacifier. Thanks, Kim
My 9month old has been sleeping in his crib, in his room since he was 3.5months old, but he has never been able to sleep thru the night and it is getting worse. On an avg. night he wakes up about 15-20times. Not exagerating!!! He has a bed time routine, and I have no problem putting him down. He take a bottle, we brush his teeth and I put him down and he cuddles up to his blanky and down he goes. Bedtime is between 8:30 – 9PM. At about 11 or 12 it starts, he starts crying or grunting, and if we leave him the yelling will start and it just makes it that harder to calm him down. If we go in while he is just grunting and semi crying, we usually give him his passy or shhh him and he will go back. But usually he will start up again in about 20min. And this can go on all night. How do I stop this. Lettng him cry has not worked. He can go on for 3hrs crying and he will go to sleep, but then he will start again in 20min – 1hr and it continues. I know he is not getting enough sleep, and I am really concerned. His nap time is fine. He sleeps 2 hours in the AM and 1 hour in the PM, and he sleeps/ takes his nap in his crib. My husband and I are exhausted and we are running out of idea. HELP!
My 4 month old daughter only naps during breasfeeding and if I’m lucky 15-20 minutes after she’s done. She usually falls asleep around 9 p.m and wakes up at least 3 times during the night I breastfeed her and she continues sleeping. How can I get her to nap for longer periods of time? Please advise
tired Mom
Dear Dana,
My 13 months old girl Marsha wakes up 2-3 times at night for a bottle feed and drinks about 180ml each time.
We have a nice bed routine: dinner at 6:30PM, bath at about 7PM, last bottle of milk about 7:30PM and her bed time is about 7:50 – 8:00PM when she falls asleep within minutes hugging her comforter toy. We have 12 hours protection nappy for nights and keep a night lamp on. When she wakes up at night all she wants is a bottle of milk. We don’t even need to pick her up, just give her a bottle of milk and she falls asleep right after she finishes it. She seems to have more bottles at night then during day time, she simply refuses bottles during a day and has only about 2, maximum 3. What can I do about it? She seems to be so thirsty at night…
Hi Dana,
Our son Ty just turned 2 and has been going to bed regularly at 8:30 and sleeps great at nights, but lately when Mom puts him to bed (book, relaxation time) and then lays him down he gets right back up and screems until I (Dad) go in there and hold him for a few minutes and then lay him down. We don’t hear a peep after that. Any advice on what Mom could do to get Ty down herself? Thanks.
I have made the mistake of letting my two year old sleep with me how do i get her two sleep in her own bed ?
I asked you about a month ago if your system would work for Kiaria who is going to be 3 in September. She takes about a 2 hour nap every day. At night she goes to bed around 9:00 p.m. and wakes up a few times in the middle of the night and comes into our bed. What do you sugest?
For the past 5 months, my 3 yr. old gets up every night at 2am or sometimes more, & walks into our bedroom to wake up mom or dad because he’s scared or wants to lay w/ mom/dad in our bed. We put him immediately back in his bed, and he sometimes falls back to sleep within 5 minutes or it may take
1/2 hr.-45 minutes. We don’t know what to do to get him to sleep thru the night again, & not come into our room awaking us every night. We NEVER have let him sleep in our bed so it’s a mystery as to why now he comes into our room & wants to stay/sleep with us? He shares a room w/ his twin brother (who always sleeps thru night- thank god) so he’s never been alone or scared before. In his younger years, he had night terrors, but outgrew them on his own. How do we get him to sleep thru the night again??
Help! Help! Sleepless, Tired Mom
For the past 5 months, my 3 yr. old gets up every night at 2am or sometimes more, & walks into our bedroom to wake up mom or dad because he’s scared or wants to lay w/ mom/dad in our bed. We put him immediately back in his bed, and he sometimes falls back to sleep within 5 minutes or it may take
1/2 hr.-45 minutes. We don’t know what to do to get him to sleep thru the night again, & not come into our room awaking us every night. We NEVER have let him sleep in our bed so it’s a mystery as to why now he comes into our room & wants to stay/sleep with us? He shares a room w/ his twin brother (who always sleeps thru night- thank god) so he’s never been alone or scared before. In his younger years, he had night terrors, but outgrew them on his own. How do we get him to sleep thru the night again??
Help! Help! Sleepless, Tired Mom
My 5 month old goes down really well for naps in the early part of the day but not so well in the afternoon and bedtimes can be difficult. Why? We have a bedtime routine and she goes to bed awake between 7-8pm.
Why does she not go to sleep as readily as she does thru the day?? Confused Mum.
Hi Dana,
My 8 and a half month old baby sleeps well at night. I have a routine and he is in his cot awake by 6.55pm and asleep by 7pm. He occassional wakes once in the night and falls back to sleep after my husband stays with him for a bit of time. Naps however are really difficult for me. If I am in the room with him he wont sleep but want to be picked up instead. Sometimes he will sleep easily in the morning, but not the afternoon. I’m not even sure if I am putting him down at the right time.
Hi Dana, I have a 15 month old girl who sometimes sleeps through the night and sometimes doesn’t. I try to put her to sleep around the same time every night with the same routine. I’d give her the bottle, she’d drink it and put it aside and go to sleep. Just recently she started keeping the bottle in her mouth, I would say like a pacifier and sometimes when I take it out she’ll wake up and cry. She’s been off the pacifier for about 3 months and am wondering if that’s what she is doing with the bottle. I try to take it away when I see it. She’s also been waking up 1 or 2 times through the night for the past week or so and don’t know what it could be. I know she is teething so I’m guessing it’s that. Should I keep giving her milk in the middle of the night or just let her go to sleep on her own?? I would like to know if and what I’m doing wrong. Thanks and I hope you can help me.
Hi Dana,
My daughter is 5 months old and I am having trouble getting her to bed at night. I do a routine of bath, feed and then rock her to sleep, however sometimes it takes me over half an hour to get her to sleep. If I put her in the cot drowsy she will just scream so I have to wait until she is fully asleep in my arms before I transfer her to cot. I am considering letting her cry it out but I am not sure if this is the right thing to do.
My son Cade has always been a terrible sleeper. He had colic and acid reflux for the first 4 months of his life and never slept more than a total of 6-7 hours total in a 24 hour period. Now he still does not sleep well at night or during the day at 8 months. He has never taken naps longer than 30 minutes. He will be exhausted and fast asleep when his eyes all of a sudden shoot open. I’ve tried to get him to nap next to me in my bed to see if he just wants to be with me but that doesn’t seem to be the case. He usually wakes up with a startling cry and is fussy all day because he is tired, but he will not sleep. I’m just wondering if this is something I can fix on my own with the help of your program or if I need to take him to see someone. Thanks.
Dana I have a question, I have a 15 month old and she is refusing to sleep through the night. She will take between 2-3 bottles a night. She has slept in a pack and play from the time she came home, so when we put her in her crib she will climb out and cry until she vomits. My husband can’t stand hearing her cry and so I dont know what to do. PLEASE HELP!!
Thanks so much,
Angela V.
My daughter is 7.5mths old. She has gotten into the habit of needing her soother to fall asleep. If she is really tired then she will fall asleep at night without it. But then she wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep until the soother gets back in her mouth. Its common for her daytime naps to include a soother also. Is it a bad habit to be using the soother only for sleep time. Once the sleep time is over, the soother is gone.
How do I eliminate the soother from her falling asleep. I still breastfeed but her bedtime feeding is by a bottle(pumped milk).
My son is 5 1/2 months old. He is sleeping well at night! We put him down wide awake between 6:45- 7:15pm and he usually goes until about 7:00am with one quick feeding at about 3:00am. If I don’t feed him once he is wide awake at about 5:15am. However, I am having trouble with his naps. He eats about 7:15am and then is tired by 7:45ish (rubbing his eyes and yawning). However, then he only sleeps for about 30- 45 minutes. He goes about 4 hours between feedings. When I feed him at 11:15 he shows signs of being tired very quickly. I have tried many nap times, putting him down right when he shows signs of being tired and even trying to hold him off for a 9:00 nap and then 1:00 nap. I can’t quiet seem to get him to take longer than a 45 minute nap at the most. Do you have any suggestions? He is fairly content throughout the day but I can tell that he is tired. Thank you!
My son is 16 months old and wakes up usually 1-2 times a night. I am weaning him off the bottle to a sippy cup, but he will not go to sleep unless he has a bottle at night. I have tried the pacifier, which he will fall asleep, but wakes up every hour or two and stands and cries until he gets his bottle. He has a routine at night with a walk outside at 6, bath at 7, pjs on, cuddle and bedtime at 8. However, he does take a good nap without a bottle, just needs a pacifier, and sleeps for 2-3 hours. I am frustrated with his nighttime sleeping habits. I end up giving his bottle to him so I can get some sleep for work the next morning. Help. any suggestions?
Hi Dana. I have a 23 month old son who is finding falling asleep by himself very difficult. He has been breast fed and this is his way of falling asleep. I recently tried discouraging this which left him quite stressed and now he does not want the breast but finds it difficult to fall asleep by himself. Before, he was in bed by 8.00p.m. Now he cries until he falls asleep which is near 12 midnight. He aslo sleeps in our bed. Please help!
Hi Dana,
My nine monthe old is now going to bed at around 8:30. We put her into to bed awake and will eventually fall asleep with or with out the pacifier now. But Our problem is not the going to sleep part, it’s the waking up in the middle of the night at least 2-3 times. My husband and I quickely go into the room to put her pacifier in or pat her on her back or give her her blanket. That seems to work but it’s every night at least 4-5 times a week. How do we get rid of the night wakings all together?
Thanks
Harrison (8 months) goes to bed normally at 7.30pm, usually without a fuss (no dummy). He then wakes up screaming an hour or two later, he doesn’t usually settle until you either feed him (he is bottle fed), pick him up or give him his dummy. I feel that it is a feeding issue. He doesn’t drink at all during the day and I am up at least twice a night to give him a bottle. No health professional believes it is a drama, but I truly believe it does affect his sleeping. He is a very good eater of solids. I feel I need to feed him at night because then I can be sure that he has had some fluids. It is extremely concerning because he has ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING at all during the day to drink.
My 5m old son goes to bed well on his own. The problem I have is his dummy.It falls out throughout the night.He then cries for me to put it back as he is still too small to do it himself.I want to wean him off the dummy.How do I go about it?There is no good information on the net.
My son Jack is 2 and has gone into a bed, we have a routine and he is in bed at 7.30 every night. He dosn’t have a daily nap only sometime when he’s really tired. But we can’t seem to keep him in his bed we have to sit on the end till he is asleep, he thinks it is a game coming out and being put back to bed, we can’t shut the door as he can open it. i would love to have my evenings back. How do i get him to stay in his bed and go to sleep by myself without me. once he is asleep he will sleep through the night please tell me what i need to do.
I have a three month old son. He has started soothing himself to sleep by sucking on his hands or thumb. Is this bad and how can I broke this. My3 year old also sucks her thumb to go to sleep.
i have a 10 month old daughter who doesnt sleep through the night she seems like shes up all night because shes hungry but she gets fed a vegetable and a fruit along with a bottle before bed. what should i do.
I have a 14 month old son. I’ve heard you suggest a bed time of 7:00 p.m. I’m a working mom and I normally do not get home until almost 6:00 p.m. So, my son normally does not go to bed until 9:00. What do you suggest for our situation? He also wakes twice a night and I feel like I’m his human pacifier.
Hope Freya is getting too big for her cot at 20 months. She loves her cot and she has an established routine with nap around lunchtime for 1/2 hours and then bath, pyjamas, milk in a cup and bed around 7/7.30pm she has always settled down to sleep (has a dummy) and ted bear and we have been blessed with this good sleeper until 7am next morning. We are now wanting to get her into her bed adn wondered if you have any tips around making this transition easy for us and Hope – thank you
My 14 month old daughter goes to sleep on her own, in her cot and sleeps thru the night from 7/8pm til 7am. However, when we put her into her bed she gets very upset and stands up instantly, we lie her back down and say ‘sleepy time, night night’ and walk out of her room but she still cries, and sometimes stands up again. If we leave her she does eventually lie back down and fall asleep but this can take upto half an hour!! She has a good routine, a bath at around 6pm, then cuddles and quiet play or reading in her bedroom with a bottle of milk around 6.30 and is put into bed at 7pm. She does sleep so I shouldn’t complain but I would love it if she would just happily go to bed instead of crying for so long. She is a very happy baby who never cries in the daytime (unless she hurts herself!) She is even happy to be left in a room on her own playing. Do you know what we are doing wrong at bedtime or have any tips to send her off to sleep happily. I have tried: playing music, cuddles for 5-10 minutes before bed, no cuddles or just a quick cuddle, teddy in her cot with her… I feel like ive tried everything!! Thanks, Donna
My 7 month old son Cooper has always been put to bed awake and had slept 12 hours from very early on but at 5 months his weight gains weren’t enough so I had to start feeding at night. He now wakes 1-2 a night and has a breastfeed but that’s ok for now as his weight isn’t great but my real issue is the daytime sleeping. Previously, we would have 2 day sleeps of 1.5 – 3 hours per sleep. For the last 3 weeks, he has been only sleeping 30-45 minutes (I guess that’s one sleep cycle). I think I’m putting him down at the wrong time but I feel like I’ve tried every time slot. He has gone from being a very happy baby to a tired out of sorts crying baby. This has conincided with him learning to roll onto his tummy but he hasn’t learnt to go back so he is getting really frustrated. For both day and night time sleeps, he has religiously been put in his cot awake in his merino sleeping bag in the dark (does have nightlight) – what daytime sleep cues am I missing? PS. his weight is increasing but he is a slight baby.
Thanks Jo
My 23 month old daughter fights sleep and will eventually go to sleep around 9:15. We wake her up at 6:30 every morning. I know this is not enough sleep for her. We start her bath right around 7:00 and then jammies and read and quiet time w/ mom or dad. The thing is that we’ve always stayed with her until she falls asleep, either on her own or sitting with us in the chair, which is perfectly fine with us if she would just fall asleep earlier….. She naps usually 2 hours from noon – 2 every day (at day care, this is the time the whole room takes their nap).
Hi, what should be done differently if the baby shares a room with the parents? we don’t have another bedroom, so move him out to his own room is out the question for the next 6 months. My son is 21 months old, I stopped breastfeeding 3 weeks ago, I used to nurse to sleep, now he falls sleep in my arms, then I put him in his crib, but at about 4am he comes to bed with us. Thanks.
Hi Dana,
I am really struggling to get Hope to sleep – she will be 4 months tomorrow & is still not quite in a sleep pattern. She doesnt sleep through the night till after 3am, what can I do differently to get her in bed early & have a good nights sleep too?
i Have a 3 1/2 month old baby who has just started being difficult at bed time. our son use to be pretty easy going, if he started getting fussy i would put him in his crib with some music on and he would go to sleep. but the past month he has been rolling around and crying. he doesn’t want to be rocked to sleep, i know this because he squirms in my arms, and i find when i help in the crib he will still squirm and fuss. i have triied leaving him to cry and coming back every few minutes to comfort him but it still takes 30-60min or more to put him to sleep. so now i am finding the only thing that works is that i nurse him to sleep.
we do have bed time routine it starts between 7:45- 8:00 he will have a bath and a nurse/ cuddle then into bed btwn 8:30-9:00. also he is breast fed.
we are also having problems with him sleeping through the night, because he use to sleep8 hours feed then sleep for four more hours. now he is up every 3-4 hours i try to feed him only when necessary because i know he can do that 8hours with out food.
napping is also just as difficult.
so i know this probley normal but i think i have been spoiled by his previous sleeping behavious, that now i would do anything to get them back.
thanks
Loni
Zander is now 15 months and has slept just about every single night of his life in bed with me. He was very collicky till 4 months and has had ear infections that would wake him at night. It was so much easier to have him right there beside me to pat back to sleep. He also used a passy and if he looses it, he wakes up crying. It has pushed my husband out of our bed and into the bed with our 7 yr. old son. I want to do this program but I am scared that I will get discrouraged and give up. I have tried to put him down to naps in his own bed, but he screams! It’s as if he is terrified of his own bed. He will scream for an hour! He is very stuborne and bull headed and I’m afarid he will never give up screaming if I try this program. I have a career which requires me to be at work at 7:00 a.m. I’m afarid that I will loose so much sleep and not be efficient on my job the next day. I miss my husband so much. Have you ever heard of a child being so hard headed that they never adjust to going to sleep in their own bed? lol HELP!!
My 9 month old son is sleeping about 10 hours at night and 2 naps a day of about 70 minutes each. Is this enough sleep for his age? He gets very cranky late afternoon, but we have a very hard time getting him to take a third nap. He has been going to sleep @ 7:30 pm and waking at 5:30 am- way too early in my opinion, plus it makes our normal scedule of daytime sleep get thrown off. How do I get him to sleep longer, especially in the morning? Does he need to?
My 6 month old is waking nightly – every hour or two and seems thirsty but will often use the bottle to go back to sleep. We have a bedtime routine and she is usually asleep by 9 but is awake by 11 or 12. She also has very short naps. Her crib is in our room (until she is old enough to join her sister in their own room) and we have a nightlight on to help us see her during the night. How do we get her to stay asleep with the crib in our room?
I am having a serious sleep problem with my 12 month old son. I weaned him from the breast about 6 weeks ago. The weaning was not difficult. He very rarely fell asleep at the breast. He has always had a bedtime routine and bedtime of 8 pm. He would go to sleep at 8 by rocking or patting his back in his crib, he would wake at 5 am, I would nurse him and he would go back to sleep until 8 am. He would occasionaly wake if he was started by a noise and there were many times when he would go back to sleep in his own. Ever since I stopped breastfeeding him he has been waking every hour to two hours all night, every night. He will not self sooth and rocking, walking, singing and even bringing him into my bed will not put him back to sleep for long or keep him alseep. I have tried sound machines, lullaby music, heartbeat simulators, pacifiers, blankies, other comfort objects, etc… If he is left alone to “cry it out” or even if I sit next to his crib to offer reassurance he cries. When he cries, he gets himself so worked up that he chokes and sometimes vomitts. Last week he was cring so violently (with me sitting next to his crib) that he gave himself a bloody nose and lip after hitting his face on the side of the crib!!! I thought that possibly he was having a milk allergy since the problems got worse after stopping breastfeeding so I switched him to Soy milk. It seems like he is uncomfortable or in pain. I have been to the Dr. and she said “kids at this age DO NOT sleep” and that I should just leave him to cry it out no matter how worked up he gets because he is just “testing” me to see what he can “get away with”! I am at a loss and utterly exausted! I have tried everything and nothing is working!!! He is a very light sleeper, even the quietest nose will wake him. Ever since birth he has never slept well, (and will not even sleep in the car) it is like he never goes into a “deep sleep”, like his mind never shuts down! I am desperate for some sort of solution!!!
I recently purchased your program and it worked like a charm on my 6 month old son. I was able to put him to bed awake and he would sleep 10-12 hours a night! Now that he is 9 months and crawling and pulling up, he just plays in his crib until he gets bored and then cries. We have reverted back to rocking. I’m also a school teacher so our schedule changes in the summer and staying home with me has changed his sleep habits as well. He stays up later (instead of going to bed at 7 it is 9) but his naps are longer (two 2 hour naps a day) but again is rocked to sleep. How can I get back to the progress we had made. I go back to work in 2weeks and this will exhaust me.
My two and a half year old had been sleeping brilliantly from 8 till 7ish without any problem until we started potty training. The potty training went so well that within a week he was dry through the night, but waking up early (between 5-6) to go onthe potty, and then not going back to sleep after that. He has pull up pants on but doesn’t want to wee in these as he is worried he will wet the bed. Since then things have deteriorated and he is waking up all through the night and getting out of his bed continuously to come and get me up to either tuck him in, find his comforter or only occasionally now, to go on the potty. Last night he was up at 1, 3, 4 and then 6. He doesn’t complain when I put him back in his bed and if it is before 5 he will usually go straight back to sleep. If it is after 5 he will keep coming in every 10-15 minutes to see if it is time to get up. We have told him to stay in his room until we tell him it is morning and threatened him with bringing back his cot rather than his big boys bed, offered rewards for staying in bed but none of these have worked so far. Can you help?
Prior to this on the days that he slept in well he was not having a day time nap but now he is so tired he often wants a sleep before lunch. His father and I are equally exhausted! I would be grateful for any advice.
How do you get a 2 1/2 year old to sleep through the night. She was doing really well and now she consistently gets up every night.
I have a four month old and i’m presuming the routine of getting a child to sleep doesn’t change much according to age but in this stratagie,how long should you let them cry for and to what extreme.Sometimes it sounds unbearable for them and would continue for two or more hours until we give in, which i know we shouldnt
You mentioned that usually the routine can go smoother when daddy steps in to help. I’m not having that great of luck with that. My husband is going to school and working, so his schedule isn’t always the same. So sometimes I’ll be the one to put my baby (6months) to bed for weeks in a row. Then when dad takes his turn, my baby is fussy and won’t take his bottle. He fights going to sleep. So I’ll take him and he’ll go right down. Is this just a phase or is there something I can do to fix it? Thanks so much!
Hi Dana, My son Aiden is 10 months old. He has been in a well established sleep rotine since he was 4/5 months old thanks to your programme. This is despite 7 months of ill health( 2 bouts of bronchiolitis and countless viral infections all back to back.) Which came to a head recently when he was admitted to Yorkhill Sick Kids hospital in Glasgow with a lump in his chest the size of a ping pong ball, which was growing in the way and out. He was a patient there for 2 weeks and was diagnosed as having an infected cyst, due to the sternum becoming infected. He was on iv antibiotics, then oral antibiotics and these seem to have helped. It has been a trying time for him, and us. Now we have him home our routine is gone and he won’t settle back down. He screams sometines for hours before going to sleep, other nights he falls asleep getting his bottle. In both instances he wakes up 5-6 times a night, either crying because he is restless and has rolled onto his front and can’t get back onto his side or sometimes we don’t even know why he is awake and trying to get him back to sleep takes hours. can you help. we are exhausted. Thanks Gill x x x
hello Dana, i have a three and a half month old daughter that used to sleep for 6 straight hours in the night. However, for the past couple of nights she’s started to wake up every 3 to 4 hours. I don’t know what has caused the reverse since the bedtime routine hasn’t changed nor is she sick. She does take the pacifier at bedtime but so did she take it when she slept ‘thru the night’ and back then she would never wake up two hours after she got fed like she does now. i’ve started to put it back in (since i don’t want to nurse her back to sleep) but she spits it out and makes noises. why do you think this is happening?
thank you so much and i hope you can help me and my daughter.