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Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.
Are you giving your baby some mixed signals that could cause nighttime wake ups? This week’s question comes from Elena, and she writes:
“I’ve been using the Sleep Sense Program with my nine-month old son for the last three weeks and it’s working really well. But, I’m not sure if what I’m doing is right. He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 p.m. He’s waking at least one or two times in the night but falling back to sleep on his own, then he wakes up at 5:30 a.m. and I go in and I nurse him and put him back in his crib. He’ll sleep for another hour so, wake up again and I bring him to bed with us so that we can get some more sleep. He falls asleep until 9:00 or 9:30 but only if he’s sucking on the breast, is this a problem?”
The bad news for Elena is that yes, it basically is a problem; you really want to be more consistent than that. The good news is that her baby is learning to fall asleep on his own at bedtime and making it through most of the night without too much intervention. My concern is that by feeding him at 5:30, you’re running the risk of teaching him that there’s still a night feed.
True, it is almost morning at 5:30, but the baby doesn’t know that. What can happen is that he’ll start to backslide. 5:30 becomes 5:00, then it becomes 4:30, then 4:00 and before you know it you’re back to middle of the night feeds.
He might also begin to think that if he wakes up once and gets a feed, then why not wake up and have a feed every time he opens his eyes? Instead of decreasing his night wakings, it might actually increase them.
It’s important to ask yourself, “Is there anything I’m doing in the night that might be confusing?” I think the answer here is yes, it could be confusing the baby. A feed at 5:30, bringing him to bed and then basically letting him nurse himself to sleep until 9:00 is confusing, and tiring. I’m not a morning person but my children have forced me to become one. I’ve learned to live with it, but starting the day out the way Elena is would be tough on anyone.
Elena’s son goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00, so their day probably is going to start around 7:00 or 7:30 in the morning. I’d suggest that she stop the 5:30 feed. If he wakes up at 5:30, go in and tell him “its nighty night,” pat him on the back, tuck him in and leave the room.
You might have to go back in every five or ten minutes or so to check on him, but this would be a great time to send your supportive husband in. The baby knows he’s not going to get any sort of feed from dad so he’ll most likely go back to sleep faster because of that.
With you or your husband going in every five or ten minutes, hang in there until at least 6:00am. If the baby goes back to sleep, that’s great. If he’s not asleep by 6:00, you should probably get up and start your day. Take him somewhere new for the first breastfeed and be sure to keep him awake during the feed.
The good news is that a 6:00am wake up won’t stay there as he gets better and better at the routine. When he realizes that there really are no more night feeds and that he isn’t coming to bed with mom anymore, he’ll probably start sleeping until 7:00 or even later. Mom has got to hang in there though and be very consistent with no more night feeds and no more bringing the baby to bed with her.
All three of my kids come into our room every morning for a few minutes of cuddle time in bed before we start our day. Cuddle time is fine, but not for the purpose of falling back to sleep. My advice for this mom would be to move away from it altogether for at least a month and not have the baby come to mom’s bed. Once he’s sleeping consistently through the night, she can experiment with some morning cuddle time, but not for the purpose of going back to sleep. Completely erase that thought from your mind.
Elena is on the right track with her son. I’d just hate to see them backslide at this point though. She is on a slippery slope with what she’s doing. Eliminate those inconsistencies with him and get him sleeping through the night. Soon, you’ll both be sleeping well.
To learn more about The Sleep Sense Program, click here — or you can click here to order now!
To ask a question about your child’s sleep, just leave it in the ‘Comments’ section below! I’ll choose one and create a new video answer each week!
Hi, I have a 7 month old son. He normally goes to bed about 7pm. (by his choice) He still wakes up twice for a feeding normally about 11 pm and then about 2am or 3am. He is trying to crawl and has been practicing nonstop sitting up and then going to all fours. He does this all day long and now he has been doing this in his crib. He normally slept from 7pm to about 6:30 to 7am with 2 maybe 3 feedings. In the last week he has been waking up at 5 am sitting up and trying to go back down. He is tired so of course he cries I go in put him back down and he continues to do this. His entire day routine is shifted now because of this. He normally always got up about 5 cried and whined alittle but always went back to sleep and I would start our day by 7 am. My question is: Is this happening because of a milestone? Will it go back to waking up closer to 7am. or at least 6ish. What should I do??? Thank you for your help.. Ewa
My son Mathis is 15months. He has been sleeping through the night since he was 5 months old (following your program). He suddenly started waking up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning or even protest when going to bed. There is no apparent reason for this. I really don’t know what to do. I tried to let him cry but after 10/15 min he becomes really upset. Please help!! Thank
Sophie
Hello, I’ve been using the Sleepsense programme for a week now and my 7 month old son is now settling really well on his own at bedtime. He is still breastfed and I’m reluctant to pull the feeds cold turkey and have been trying to stretch the interval between feeds using the checking method. The problem is last night he cried for 2 hours and I gave in and fed him. I’m worried that this has sabotaged the program – how should I now proceed? Also, he goes down at 7:30/8 and then will wake between 2 and four times a night – which feeds should I be dropping first? Thanks you
I just started looking at this website and saw this – my one year old still wakes between 4-5am for a bottle and then starts her day between 545-630am… I think I might try this for a few weeks to see if she will go back to sleep and sleep through the night (til 7am) … lord knows mommy needs the sleep! I just have to discuss with my husband as he is a shift worker and needs to sleep during the day sometimes… it has been a hard year in terms of sleep for mommy but I am willing to try anything right now.
Thanks to your book, I no longer have a problem getting my daughter to fall asleep so Thank you! My daughter used to sleep 7-8 hrs a night at 8 weeks but at 12 weeks has begun waking up at the 5- 5 1/2 hr mark. After re-reading your book, I decided to schedule an awakening 20 minutes before her usual time. This worked great on the first night! She slept from 7 pm to 430 am. I think I woke her up actually because I just had to check on her. Anyway, I fed her and put her back in bed awake. Previously, she would make a little noise and go back to sleep, but last night she was so wide awake she became very upset at being in bed and began crying very hard. I burped her again, then started checking on her in intervals. She finally fell asleep at 6 am to 7 am and I’m afraid I had to “help” her.
I know this is probably because she was feeling fantastic after 9 1/2 hrs of sleep, but I am hoping for advice on how to ease this transition. My husband was very upset at the crying and cannot not go to her when she cries like that.
Again, thank you for your book and hope to hear from you!
Carmen
Our 13 month old falls asleep between 7:30 and 8 pm, but wakes up in the morning between 4 and 5:30 wanting to breastfeed. When I feed him he will usually fall back asleep until 7 or 8 am. We have tried to let him cry but he just gets more and more upset and will howl for more than an hour. I was hoping to ween him off of this early morning feed but I am not sure how to get him to settle down enough to fall asleep again. When we let him cry he is up for so long that he is exhausted in the day and then doesn’t nap, and then won’t sleep well in the night so it seems like a vicious circle. Is there anyway to get him to get him off this feeding?
Thanks
Hi Dana,
I’ve been following the sleep sense program more and more as my baby matures to the 4 months stage. We have been using a little stuffed tiger and a snuggie(blanket) which are both working well. He is currently at the stage of finding his fists and his fingers. We’ve been removing the pacifier but now I’m worried that he will become a thumb sucker which in my mind is a worse long-term habit than the pacifier. Is his soothing skills a natural part of this and how do I avoid the potential of thumb sucking instead of use of a pacifier?
thanks in advance!
My daughter who is 9 1/2 mths old is starting to wake up 2-3 times a night. She’ll turn over on her back and fuss and whine until I turn her over on her stomach and put her pacifier in her mouth. She has been on a nightly routine since 4 mths. She has always slept through the night (7:30-8:00 pm until 5:30 am). Plus she falls asleep on her own. What is going on?
My 22 month old son goes to sleep between 7 30 and 8 o’clock each night… He usually wakes once or twice calling out for a drink or his soother… He almost always wakes at 6 o’clock… what should I do to try and get him to sleep past 6
I have 11 week old twins. For the last 3 weeks my daughter has been sleeping through the night, whereas my son still wakes at 4am for his feed. I have them on 4 hourly feeds at the moment and the last feed at the minute is 10pm. The first feed in the morning is 6am to which at this time my daughter is ready for. I have my twins sleeping in the same cot in my bedroom and when my son wakens at 4am for a feed he disturbs my daughter, but she easily puts herself back to sleep. My son however howls from 4am and wont stop. My partner then moves into the spare room at this time to get some peace before having to go to work. What can i do to have my son sleep through? I want the twins kept in a routine feeding together when i say and not when they say!!
hi there my daughter is 10 months old, she will not sleep through the nite she wakes up all nite sometimes every half hour. i go in to the room and give her a dummy bak and she sometimes goes back to sleep. most of the time she wants a bottle. how can i stop the feed and get her to sleep through the night? she will not go to sleep on her own and needs rocked to sleep .. help x
I finally got my 13 month old son to sleep through the night. Some nights he will wake up once and wine and then in 5 minutes he will fall back asleep. He has been sleeping through the night for about 2 weeks now. I stopped breastfeeding a few days after he first slept throught the night. He continues to sleep through the night but wakes up between 5 and 5:30 am. He will scream and scream to get up. I have not put him in the bed with me for about 4 days or more. But he still continues to scream until 6am. I put him to bed with a cup of water so if hes thirsty he has that. and sometimes i change his diaper if its too full. But then i leave the room and tell him night night. But he still screams for 30-1 hour. I dont let him scream past 6 like this article says and i get up and start my day. Now that hes waking up this early he is taking his nap at 8:30 or 9 and wakes up at 10:30-11. He goes down fine for his nap. I can get him to sleep in 10 minutes. Then he gets tired around 2. And he will scream and scream and scream when i try to put him down. Then bedtime i can get him to sleep in 10 minutes. He goes to bed at 7. Any advice on how i can get him to sleep longer?
My two year old son used to go to sleep in his recliner chair with his bottle. He has climbed out of his cot since he was 15months old so he now has a low bed in his own room. I’ve tried controlled crying, i’m considering giving up as he becomes hysterical and traumatised! He can climb over his safety gate, so i have now removed it, i cannot leave him to cry as he will be out of the room like a shot. i could close the door but he’ll just come out and i don’t think it’s right to lock him in, please help!!!!!!!!!
Hello…My question is about my 6month old…I also have a 3yr old which I didnt want my infant waking up so as soon as the infant would cry I would get him out of his crib and bring him downstairs to feed him and put him back to sleep on the couch…now that the baby is 6months old, he will not sleep through the night, wakes up anywhere from 1:00am on and the only way he goes back to sleep is downstairs on the couch! (bad habit I know!) the other thing is he does not go to sleep in his crib when he is awake…he will frantically scream and cry until I pick him up and he falls asleep in my arms…and he has never been a napper since he was born! he will take a few 20min naps throughout the day in his vibrating chair and that is it! My first son was the best sleeper from 6weeks on and always sleeping in his crib but I can not get his baby brother to do the same! help!!
I have a 3 yr old she will be 4 in january 2010 and she takes clonidine to help her sleep but she wakes up numerous times during the night and she can be very violent at times…what can i do??
hi dana,
i have been able to finally get my 12 month old son of the bottle, but he even loves the sippy cup more. he would take any drink about 3.30 -4 every night before going back to sleep. i put him to bed at 7.30-8pm. what can i do to cub this habit?
thanks
Hi, my daughter, Elizabeth, is now almost 11 months old, it took her a long time before she could sleep through the night, she goes to bed at 7:30 p.m. and waking up every morning at 5:30 a.m. I do not feed her until 6:30 a.m. because I do not want her to wake up thinking that she is going to get a bottle right away. I bring her to our bed just to cuddle for 30 minutes, by then, she would become restless and I will bring her downstairs and start my day. Is there anything else that I could do to make her sleep later?
My 3 1/2 month old daughter is sleeping for 3-5 hours from her bedtime at 7pm, then wakes up every 1-2 hours for the rest of the night, and needs to be nursed back to sleep… we are so sleep deprived we are going crazy, I have been doing various techniques to help her learn to get to sleep on her own but it is not working!! Please can you help??? Her nap times are also very difficult, she either has to be nursing or moving in her buggy to be able to sleep, there is never any time to rest…HELP!
My 7 month old baby girl demands to go bed at 6pm, i can give her solids or a bottle before bedtime and she will go to sleep by herself and in her own room. But she wakes up at 10pm for a bottle and 2am for a bottle and than wakes up at 7.30am, she has weet bix and yogurt than she has a morning sleep from 9.30/10am till 11am she is up and has solids for lunch and than back down 1/1.30 and up around 3pm has her dinner at 4.30 and than bath at 5.30 and than bottle and than bed – i have just taken out the morning sleep to try and help me to get her to sleep through the night!!!! Am i doing this rigth to trying to get her to sleep through the night?????
Hello Dana,
My almost 4 month old has been sleeping great at night in his crib and going to bed at 9pm and waking up between 7-8am. Most of the time he goes right back to sleep when I feed him a bottle between 7-8am. However, I am having trouble with him sleeping and where he sleeps throughout the day. He does go to a sitters 3 days a week. He gives me a hard time sleeping in his crib and I get him to sleep (sometimes with a pacifier) amd then hr wakes up in a half hour. But when he sleeps in a bouncy or rocker he sleeps for hours. I want to note that I do not turn the bouncy or rocker on. he just loves to sleep in these things. What happens when he is too big to sleep in these things and he wont sleep anywhere else or will he just adjust to where I put him when he gets older? I don’t understand how he can sleep in his crib so well at night but not throughout the day. IS it ok to let him sleep in a bouncy now, as logn as I don’t rock him? Or will he give me a hard time later to transitiion him to the crib. I also have noticed that he loves to be around noise and his room is so quiet.
hi,
my toddler is 23 mths & shares bed with me and the minute i wake up, he gets up too. now that i have found out i am expecting another baby this worries me. how would i be able to cope with him. how to get him out of my bed ? please help me.
thank you x
How do I get my baby to go to sleep without her soother. She is 3 1/2 months old, and it helps her fall aspleep. But, if it falls out before she is asleep she cries. Recenlty, she has been cryiing in the middle of the night when she wakes up and once the soother is in her mouth, she is fine. I feel like I have gotten her into a bad habit, how do I get her out of it?
My 14 month old son cant fall asleep on his own at either nap time or bedtime and when I leave him to cry himself to sleep he just throws up within minutes of leaving him – help!!! What do I do ??? I really dont wont to be clearing up his sick or losing his nutrients but I do want him to learn to fall alseep on his own and put himself back to sleep in the middle of the night when he wakes.
Thanks for your help
Debbie
My son is 11mths im not sure about his daytime naps he has at least one nap for about an hour and half but he is all over the place then this effects his scedule for the rest of the day including the bedtime. How often should he be napping?
My son carter is 18 months old and has always been a very good sleeper. From the time he was 6 months old hes been going to bed at 8pm and waking upabout 7:30 am. Once in a while he’ll go to bed adn would wake up in the mid of the night but not very often. Anout a month ago he had tubes put in and the doctor says hes doing great, the only problem is now hes been waking up anywhere from 1 am to 6 am and wont go back to sleep unless hes in bed with my fiance and myself. Ive tried rocking him back to sleep, ive tried giving him a glass of water or warm milk, and even let him cry back to sleep. Nothing works except putting him in our bed. Hes tiny but takes up our whole bed! What should I do?
Hello Dana,
I am mother of Anahit 10 months old, and i have one question concerning her sleeping.
Is it possible that she wakes up at night because she is having 4 teeth at the same time, can this be the cause of disturbing her at night?
She wakes up 1 or 2 times and wants to eat, I breastfeed her and then put her awake in her bed and she sleeps herself. But if I dont breastfeed she cries all the time, until I feed her, then she becomes happy and sleeps herself after playing for a few seconds in her bed with a toy.
Thank you,
Marina.
I have a question: I watched your recent blog about night wakings. I have a 3-month old son who wakes once during the night for a feed then goes back to sleep. I need to get him up at 6:30 every morning to take him to daycare. What time should I be putting him to bed at night? Right now he goes down about 9:00 p.m. He wakes about 4:00 a.m. every morning needing to eat, sometimes taking him an hour to go back to sleep, I fianlly put him down till 6:30. He is a pacifier baby, but if tired enough, he won’t need it because he nurses himself to sleep.. What should I be doing and how can I get him to sleep all the way till 6:30 or later? Thanks.
Hi Dana
My son is 2years and 7 months. He goes to bed at 8pm and wakes sometimes twice or once per night, he always wakes around 5am saying goodmorning!!!!!!!! and he’s ready to go. I have tried the settling him but he keeps asking for me persistantly for as long as i can handle it. I’m soo tired but i feel like i’m complaining and being weak. He used to wake 6 times per night and is now finally sleeping more however the early start is really tiring me or i havent yet caught up from the lack of sleep. Is it too late to use any settling methods?
Linda
Riley is now 23 months. Your program has worked beautifully. However, since the time change this past weekend Riley has been waking up at 6am instead of 7am. She is going to bed by 8pm still, but is wide awake at 6am. Is there anything I can do to try to get back to 7am if she just won’t fall back to sleep. Is 8pm – 6pm enough of a night time sleep for a child her age?
How can i get my 2 year old son to sleep in his own bed and not wake up at night?
i am haveing the same problem i cant get my 2 year old son to sleep in his own bed he sleeps with me .and he still wakes up through the night .
I was going through a custody case with my sons grandmother. I won custody of my son. Somethings I did was turn the t.v on for him (put the sleep on so you dont have to turn it), put a night light in his room, read him a book and gave him his favorite toy so he can feel safe at night. It worked i didnt have any problems getting him comfortable in his room. He shared a bed with his aunt before coming home to, so I thought it would be a problem.
My 2 mon old daughter wont sleep at night..she use to for about a 2 weeks. Even when i put her in the bed with us she still wont go to sleep with me doing a number of things to get her asleep. How can i get her to go to sleep at night and stay sleep.
I’ve been using the sleep sense program since my son was 6 months (now 11 months) and even though I had some hic-ups, we really like what we’ve done training him to sleep by his own.
He still wakes up a couple of times through the night, but goes back to sleep on his own. My question is regarding to the small routine we have before his nap times (bottle, story, with music in the background for about 5-10 minutes), and since he’ll be in day care by December, I’m wondering if we should change this to make it easier to the provider… also, what other changes should we make now that he’s turning 1.
Thank you,
my son is now 1 and 4 months old.
i am in a dilema and really feel bad becoz i think i am doing really bad as a mom so far. my baby is now accustomed to my breast he has to feed like every time he gets up at night infact i think he literally cant sleep without a suckle its so annoying and distressing .and nowadays he tends to sleep really late upto twelve in the night as well as if he gets up at around eight or nine in the morning i try to give him some breakfast and bath him .he runs around a bit and then after three or four hours he naps again for an hour or two.then he has another nap in between his bedtime again (which is between ten and twelve at night!).
now my husband says its bettre i dont let him sleep esp in the evening but i heard its not good to wake a sleeping baby.
now if u can help me becoz av put my baby and myself in a bad situation. he is now relying on suckle to fall asleep.and his biological clocks are really messed up by me.thank you.may our kids hav the best we cud ever giv them.thank for your help
Hi Dana! Thank you very much for your help.
I don’t understand why nobody teach us all this staff before it’s too late. I joined parenting class when I was pregnant but they don’t even mentioned one tip of yours!
I started the planning just 4 days now and we are going quit well. Even if my son, 6 months old, still wakes up during the night he managed to go back to sleep with some help. The problem is that he desperate needs the dummy to go back to sleep. I know it’s not the best thing to do but I really don’t know how to carry on with the strategy specially now that I can see lots of progress. It’s ok if I let him take it and then take it out of his mouth?I know it won’t awake him. Or what I should do?
Also last night he didn’t drink all his milk in the last fed: 160 ml instead of 210 ml. He waked up lot of times since I fed him at 3.30 in the night! I even think I heard his stomach protesting! He drunk everything! How do we have to behave in a situation like this?
Another question please. If we start our day at 10 o’clock in the morning do I have to put him to sleep a little bit later in the night? I mean not at 7.30 as you suggest. I’ve done once: he went to bed at 22.00 in the night and he woke up for a feed at 6.30 in the morning and went back to sleep till 10 in the morning but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do!
Too many questions…I hope you can help me!
Francesca
My son is almost 3 months old now. I put him to bed at 7:30 and he usually wakes up at around 2:30 and 6:30am to feed. Last night he made it until 5:00am and was fussy. I watched him and he put himself back to sleep by sucking his thumb. I have heard not to let a child suck on his fingers. Should I do something to stop this, or should I leave him alone since it is comforting him?
My daughter is 4 years old. She will not fall asleep at night unless I am in bed with her until she falls asleep. Is there any chance that Sleep Sense can help even though she is so much older than the majority of the cases that I have read about?????????
Hi,
I have 7 month old twins. Because they were born a month early and underweight, my husband and I started working on their sleep habits a little late – around 5 months old. We have had to absolutely be firm about NO feedings during the night, especially now that they are on solid foods. We have learned that if we give in even once, then they expect to be fed during the night. If one of them wakes up, I go in periodically to comfort and they will eventually fall back asleep on their own. Right now, it is “hit or miss” with whether they BOTH sleep through the night without fussing.
My question is: are they getting up too early? We put them to bed about 6:00pm because that seems to be the time that they can fall asleep on their own with no problem, and they wake up at 5:00am. We feed them, they are awake for about an hour to an hour and a half, then we put them back down – and they will usually sleep for another hour. We have no problem getting up at 5:00am since that is when we usually start our day anyway (we are morning people). My thought is that they are sleeping 11 hours straight (or close to that amount even if they wake up in the night), so I feel that that is long enough? We do not go and get them until 5:00am – even if they wake up at 4:30-4:45. We have tried moving their bedtime to later, but they are usually so overtired by then that they have a hard time falling asleep.
I would very much appreciate comments!
Micheal won’t sleep in his bed. He has a new brother who was in his cot in my room so Micheal wanted to sleep in my room. So I put the new baby into Micheal’s room as I only have 2 rooms so that he wouldn’t get jelous now he won’t go into his bed at all & is sleeping in our bed. The baby is in his cot in their bedroom & micheal refuses to go into his bed. He gets hysterical makes himself sick & then wakes the baby up. I don’t know how to get him back into his own bed.Please help
My son is now 12months he has never slept through night & does not always sleep well in day without being rocked. he has had most of his teeth since 4months old so am thinking this is why he is always waking, & struggles to go off on his own! he only has 2 more to come in now & he is in so much pain but giving him calpol or ibuprofen just makes him constipated & then he wakes with an upset tummy! i put him to bed at 530pm after his bottle because he is so tired by then! he has lots to eat in day so is not waking because he is hungry! most times all i have to do is give him his dummy & teddy or a sip of water/juice & he goes back off but other times he is stood up talking & playing refusing to go back down so i either rock him back off or desperate measures make another bottle for him to fall back off! I havent slept properly in a year & dont know how to help him! he knows now though that I will rock him & he knows he can get what he wants from me if he cries enough he is very cheeky!!!!!!! WHAT CAN I DO???????????????
Dear Dana
i have similar problem with Elena.3rd of November Video. My baby is 3,5 months and i would like to ask if i should follow your advice for a baby so young! Does he still need a night feed? I feed him around 04:30 but he now starts to wake up every hour from 03:00 oclock.
I take him to bed about 05:30 where he falls alseep immediately until 07:30. Many Thanks Margarita
Hi Dana,
I have 10 month old baby girl and we share our bed since she’s got sick about 3 months ago. She goes to sleep every night @8pm. Sometimes she sleeps through the night and other times she will wake up between 4-5 a.m. wanting her night feed. Start crying and so on…. I give her early feed so, she goes back to sleep until 7am – 7:30am. I have been doing this with her for over 2 months. How can I stop the night feed? So, we both have a little more sleep. Thanks Emily
hi i have been doing sleep training with my little girl skye she is just 7 months now…. she has done sooooo well. she now sleeps through but wakes up on the dot at 6 in the morning… she goes to bed at 7.30 evening time. she eats so well so its not a hunger issue. any advice you can give would be great
Hi before I start using the program I want to inform you about our problem. Achilleas struggles to sleep at night arount 10.00pm so I lay down with him and he sleeps after a while. Unfortunately he comes to light sleep every night at 1.15 am and at 5.30 am. He is kicking, turnig his head, changing places in the bed,
Hi before I start using the program I want to inform you about our problem. Achilleas struggles to sleep at night arount 10.00pm so I lay down with him and he sleeps after a while. Unfortunately he comes to light sleep every night at 1.15 am and at 5.30 am. He is kicking, turnig his head, changing places in the bed
what can i do to stop this habit. Forgot to tel you that I put him with me after all that
HI dana, i’m dawlat’s mother, she will be 2 years by end of this onth. I’m really stressed out and very exhusted, as u know i;m a working mom from 8:30 am till 5pm and my big boy goes to school now. i put them in bed maximum 9pm but the problem lies in:
1- I have to sleep with dolli on teh couch in there room so she sleeps.
2- she sleeps with the bottle and wakes up for 3 times to take a full milk botlle.
4- i wake up with her and this makes me very sick in the mornign and pretty tired.
5- Thank god i took away teh pacifier a month ago and she is fine without her although sometimes she remembers it.
I need to take off the bottle and mae her sleep on her own because really it kills me.
N.B. she wakes fully at 10 am and sometimes b4 that. she takes one nap for and hour maximum an hour and half
Please help
desperate working mom
Hello Dana, I have a 4 month old baby girl, and for about 3 weeks now she has been getting up about every 2 hours a night. She used to sleep a full 6 hours, and wake up for a feeding and than go back to bed for another 3 hours. I usually give her a bath around 9:00 pm, and she is sleeping by 9:45. She falls asleep nursing too, witch i know is a big no no, but I don’t know how to break her of that. She mostly sleeps in her swing too, and i need to know how to get her to sleep in her crib. If you could please help me out on some tips and pointers that would be great!! Thank you so much for your time and i look forward to hearing what you have to say.
My 2 year old goes to bed at 8pm 99% of the time. He is in a big boy bed and has been for at least 2 months because he learned to crawl out of his crib a month or so before that. When he started crawling out of his bed he started waking up anywhere between 2 and 5am and coming into our room. We get up and put him back in his bed and he goes back to sleep really well. Then is back up at 6:30 and we start our day. I just want to know how to avoid that one wake up during the night.
Dana, thank you very much for the information you provide me about my toddler is waking up early…yes, my daughter of 19 months (Julianne) she is going to bed at 10:00 p.m. at night, she wakes up like two or three times during the night still (my mistake still is that I give her milk everytime that she wakes up…) I am very frustrated when I hear her crying desperately then, she wakes up at 6:00 a.m. and it is hard to get her back to sleep again…so, I am very exhausted and my husband too…both of us work, I am working part time and he is working full time…during the day Julianne takes a nap about 3:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. I take advantage of this time, and I take a nap too…I know I have to stop feeding her during the night but it is hard for me…P.D. I usually give her a bath at 6:00 or 6:30 p.m. and then I feed her and later on I give her a bottle of camomile tea, so she can relax her…Am I doing ok? Can you give me more advices please? some options? thank you for your valulable help…
My daughter is 9 months old she has her last bottle at 10.30pm and sleeps through the night until about 9.30-10.00am. Does this seem ok? I mean its good for me, I get sleep in the morning but is it ok for her?
Hi Conniann
My daugher did exactly the same thing, for about 2 months, at a similar age. Then 1 night, it just changed, for no reason, we did nothing different. If it works for both of you, just live with it for a while.
I have a 6 week old son who has always been difficult to get to go to sleep at night. Usually daddy walks and rocks and pats him but for the past few nights he cries and cries and cries and will only settle for a few short minutes before it starts over. We try to have a nightly routine and to respond to him as soon as he seems tired but nothing is working.
Does he then sleep late in the mornings?
I received a tip from an experienced mother of ten children that helps a lot! Wake him up at 7:00 am and try to keep him awake as long as you can before his first nap. It is so hard, because you know he is exhausted, and you are too. It will help re-adjust his days and nights very quickly.
Another thing you can try is carrying him a lot in a sling or other sort of carrier. Studies show that the more a baby is carried, the less they cry. Good Luck.
My 12 month old son is still having trouble with napping. He is sleeping from 8pm until 7am. He will nap once in the morning for 30-45 minutes and then once in the afternoon for 30-45 minutes. We can’t seem to break this nap intruder. Can you help? Thanks!
How can i not only get my 22 month old son to sleep through the night but how can i also get him to sleep in his bed/crib?
My 21/2 year old son think he’s the boss…He fight all the way until the end it doesn’t matter who it is…..He goes to sleep late and wake up early. I tried giving him time out but he just gets out.
Cooper is only 12 weeks old, he still doesn’t sleep through the night, he use to only wake 1-3 times during the night but now he is waking every 3 hours. He has a routine at night of a feed between 6 – 6.30 play on his activity mat while I get his bath ready, then we play together for about 10 minutes, then bath, another feed in the bedroom (he is still sleeping in his bassinet in my room) then he goes down for the night. He manages to go to sleep okay normally within about 2- 15 minutes but now he is waking at 11pm, 2.30, 4.30, 6.30.
My partner works away 4 weeks out of 5 and I am really starting to feel the effects of the sleepless nights. I feed him every time he wakes in the night, should I try to cut this back so that he doesn’t expect it?
my 6month daughter yahvi was sleeping whole night from last 2 months but from last week she has started waking up every 2 to 3 hrs and i can’t understand why,she has started taking solids ,at times she sleeps by her own when i pat her but most of the time i have 2 nurse her….
Hi our 5 and 1/2 month old has been sleeping in his own room in the dark since he was 8 weeks. He has always slept very well. He goes down at 6.30-7pm every night awake and without fail drops off to sleep on his own. He was having a late night (10pm-12pm) feed followed by an early morning (2-4am) feed. He dropped his late night feed a few months ago but still wakes for his early morning feed anywhere between 2am to 5am. He is formula fed, we plan to start him on solids at the end of this week. How can we wean him off the final night feed?
I have started the habit of putting my baby to sleep in her cot. She is now learning to sleep on her own but at times she wakes up in the middle of the night and then does not go back. i feed her but she does not have her proper feed and then gets restless and starts crying. my husband generally picks her up and swings her. How do I teach her to sleep back after the feed in her cot because she was doing fine when in bed with me.
Hi there Ruchi,
It sounds like she has become quite reliant on havng you close to be able to settle to sleep. Have you tried the tapping nd shhhsing method, this can then in time turn to shhhhsing only and then just standing at the door to hopefully them settling themselves. This worked well for me – it does take persistance :-)
My son Dexter was very ill when he was 6weeks old and we almost lost he. I developed a real dependancy on having him sleep with me as i took ever second i could to hold him and prepare myself. He is now a happy healthy 8months old boy, but i am finding it hard to get him to sleep in his cot and through the night. He’s up 3-4times for a feed and is very reliant on me to sleep, i’ve been doing controlled crying for about a week and it’s still taking him at least 2 hours of screaming to fall asleep and then its never for long. I’m really at a loss for what to do, any advise is very welcome thank you, Linds
Hi Dana
My daughter Mikayla has been to sleep training twice and seems to have failed, she is 22 months old and we have only now managed to cut out breast feeds during the night but she is still in bed with me, but sleeping throught the night, I have tried to put her in the cot but the hysterical crying for hours is too much. Any suggestions would be great as my husband is sleeping on the foor……..
Joanne
My daughter is three months old and she sleeps rather well through the night. It was a mini battle to get her on a consistent schedule, however I was persistent and she was a little trooper! My question is during the daytime whenever she cries even the slightest bit I have a tendancy to pick her up and hold her. I fear I am spoiling her too much but if I let her just “cry it out” am I in any danger of her feeling neglected? I am a brand new mom and I want what is best for her. Her crying is interrupting mealtimes and any household chores I need need to get done. I hold her all the time. Any suggestions please let me know.
Thanks!!
You can’t spoil a baby with too much holding. Studies show the more a baby is held the less they cry. Try a sling, wrap, or some other sort of carrier so you can get things done. She will be more independent later if you hold her more now.
I have a 2 1/2 yr old and he is having a hard time sleeping through the night. I am also pregnant and due in 5wks, and we could use some help. We use to have his bed time routine start at 8pm and in bed by 8:30pm, but he was waking up by 6am. So my husband and I decided to try changing his bed time because he was acting like he had a lot of energy left to get rid of, so we did and now we start his bedtime routine at 8:30pm and he is in bed by 9pm. However he was still waking between 6 & 6:30am. Now he is having these night terrors at least 3 a night. It is really starting to concern me and I would like to get him sleeping through the night getting a good nights sleep before his baby sister is born. My husband and I are at a lost on what else to try. PLEASE HELP!
hi dana
my son is almost 11months and i followed your tips on howto get hin sleeping throught the night im happy to say it worked and we are have been getting full night sleeps for the past 2months,however im having issues with getting him to nap on his own,he has establshed day from night and unless i put him to sleep on my breast he wont sleep on his own,sitting in the room makes him think its a game,i also tried the crying out method but that just made him even more kranky,im at a loss because im so religious about him having his 2 naps a day as you said,please tell me how i can fix this problem,thanks
devona
My daughter is seven months old. She will take two naps a day in her crib for two or more hours
I put her in her crib awake and we have no problems. At night I have a good routine but she will still wake up
And fuss many times right after she goes down and this can go on all night every hour.
Then sometimes she will go down for the whole night.
I don’t know why the night time is so different. What can I do to get her to sleep ALL the time?
My son is 2 years old. He goes to sleep every night at 8 p.m. Sometimes he sleeps through the night and other times he will wake up between 4-5 a.m. wanting his “binky” (pacifier). I give it to him and he goes right back to sleep until 5:30 or 6 a.m. (I don’t let him get out of bed until after 6 a.m.) I have been doing this with him for over a year now, and I can’t ever get him to sleep past 6 a.m. and now with the time change he is up no later than 5:30 a.m. How can I get him to sleep a little later? I have no problem getting up that early because I get up at the time for work everyday, but I think he needs a little more sleep and we’ve tried everything with him.
We started the sleep sense program about 2 months ago and it has worked really well! But my daughter who is now 6 months old has started to teeth and she wakes up 1-3 times a night. She’s been doing this for the last 2 weeks. Because I’ve felt bad I’ve gone in and put some orajel on her gums and she goes back to sleep. Now I wonder if she’s waking up because she’s in pain or if she just wants to see if I’ll come in and get her.
my baby keeps waking up during his sleep he moves around alot to find a comfortable spot but he cant find a spot or go back to sleep he wakes up at least three times at night.
my 5 month old is waking at 3- 330am for a feed but then doesn’t seem to interested to feed in the morning, do i need to cut out this feed??? her last feed before this is usually about 9-10pm
We have done SleepSense and it’s been great, however now that our 7 month old has been sick for nearly 8 weeks (she started day-care)! I haven’t been able to get her to sleep through. Obviously didn’t want to not get up to an upset and sick baby, but now that she’s better, she still wakes twice.
Also wakes due to dirty nappy at 4:30am – never had that before – she was regular and would only soil at 7:00am.
I can’t not change her – what am I doing wrong with meals and sleep for her routine to go like this?
My son is 3 months and 3 weeks old. He used to go to sleep around 7:30 in the night but for a couple of weeks he is taking more time to sleep and goes to bed around 8:30pm. once he goes to bed he will wake up around 2am for a feed, I feed him, he goes to sleep again and then he wakes up at 6am and thats where his day starts. My questions are:
1. Is he having enough sleep?
2. Is it normal if he is changing his night sleep time from 7:30 pm to 8:30?
3. How do I help him to sleep after a 6am feed?
Thanks
Arti
Our nearly 4 month old daughter has reflux. She is a breast fed baby and is taking medicine to help the reflux 3 times a day. We were advised by our paediatrician to hold her upright for half and hour after feeds so that the stomach can partially empty. She is therefore used to falling asleep in our arms, and placed in her bed asleep. Sometimes she has woken, and we have given her a soother/dummy to get her back to sleep which I’m guessing isn’t a good thing either?
Should we be waking her up after the half hour of holding upwards to put her to sleep awake? I’m worried that by the time the reflux problem is resolved that we will be stuck with doing the same thing as that is the norm to her.
Many thanks
Lucy
We have a 2yo who has been a fantastic 730 – 730 sleeper. Since arrival of her new sister 3months ago we had to re-sleep train her. everything is going great except she is waking at 530am. i would like to encourage her back to at least 615. i dont know if i am being unreasonabel or if i should use some of the back to bed methods.
Hi there Nicole, we are having the same problem – I am also very keen to learn how to get him to stay in bed till at least 6.30.
My two year old has always been a problem sleeper. We used Sleep Sense at 11 months and things were great until June this year. We then had to put it into practice again as he refused to sleep unless I was with him and would wake every two hours and only go back to sleep if I was there. After using the Sleep Sense method of leaving him and going back to check on him he was sleeping on his own after three days. This is now happening again but the leaving him and going back is not working. He goes hysterical and keeps saying mummy sit. If my husband goes in he goes hysterical. I am not sure now what to do. I just cant bear the thought of going back to how it was. He is waking two of three times a night and just wants his mummy with him. Help
My 3 year old is in bed every night by 8:30pm but still wakes up a couple times during the night, simply wanting me to take him back to bed. He falls right back to sleep on his own but wakes up wide awake at 5am. This is way too early to be starting his day. He does still take a 3 hour nap during the day which he still seems to really need. Any suggestions on whether or not we need to do away with the nap now to help him sleep better at night?
I have the EXACT same problem!! I have put a digital clock in his room, and he knows he can’t get up until 7:00. It worked for a while, but now that we have moved the time back an hour it is not working at all!!! I need a solution to this as well!!
I have twin girls that are 2 yrs old. I took away their cribs bed and put them in big girl beds. They slept all night for a month or so but now they are waking up again and wanting to stay up or sleep with me and their father! Help me please, i am tired!
My 3mo. old is sleeping most of the night. She goes down permanently after 10pm feeding, and stays asleep for 7-10 hours. Last night I tried something new. Bathed her at 7:45, nursed her, and put her in bed. She slept til I woke her for the 10pm feeding, then she woke at 2, then 3. This is not the norm.- she normally wakes between 5 & 6, nurses, and then sleeps for a couple more hours. How long does a 3mo old, breast fed infant sleep without having to be fed?
Hi Dana,
I have been doing your sleep program with my 8 month old son Ryan and am happy to report that he is sleeping from 7:15pm-5:45am. However his naps are now down to 40 minutes or so from 1 1/2 hours. (He takes 2 naps a day). Why is this happening?
how can i get my 3 year old to stop having a temper tantrum when he is tired, i try to calm him down by sitting with him and all he does is fight with me, even when we are out. please help
My daughter is now 29 months and she sleeps through the night just fine, falls asleep on her own all the time. She usually goes to sleep at 8:00 pm every night and takes a nap at daycare from about 12 noon to 2 or so. Lately she’s been falling asleep at 9:30 or 10:00 pm. We haven’t changed her routine or time, I still put her to bed at 8 or 10 min before 8, but she just stays in bed moving around and doesn’t fall asleep until an hour 1/2 to 2 hrs later. Could be time to skip the nap? How do I know if she’s ready to stop napping?
Thank you so much!
Hi Dana,
My son is 22months old and sleeps fine throughout the night. I usually put him to bed around 8:30. He wakes up around 7:15/7:30. He used to nap from about 12:30 to 2:30. But, lately, I’ll put him down at this time and he will just play with his mobile and babble for the two hours, if I let him. However, I continue to do it, because occasionally, he will fall asleep after a half an hour to an hour. It is very unpredictable when he decides to nap. When do they end their naps? Should I give up on his nap, or keep trying? I’m not sure how to handle this, please help!
Definately time to stop the naps… My son at about the same age did much the same and I didn’t think he would cope with out his sleep in the afternoon (he was also having about two hours). It took two or three weeks to have him adjusted but it was worth it. He had to go to bed about an hour earlier than his normal time for two weeks and he went straight to sleep. In the first week at around teatime he was especially tired… irritable and crying but by a month later he was coping well and asleep within 5mins of going to bed at night. Hope this helps!
how do i manage my baby’s naps?
he sleeps well at night – 11 or 12 hours from 7:15 till about 7 am
he does not take good naps in his crib – only 30 min and then will not fall back asleep. if he were on my chest or the sofa or the car he sleeps for much longer and does much better.
what do i do
my 1 year old has started waking about 6 hours after bed time and wont go back to sleep without a bottle. I am concerned as this is having a knock on effect and she is starting to eat less in the day now as she is filling up at night on milk.
Hello Dana!!! PLEASE HELP ME :) I have a 6 month old who is still waking up 1 or 2 times during the night. Here is what is happening: he goes to bed at 7:00 pm and is GREAT at falling asleep on his own, usually wakes up at 11:00 pm, but puts himself back to sleep on his own, then wakes at 2:00 am for a feeding ad then again at 6:00 am(At this time, I try to soothe him by patting and shushing but doesn’t seem to work. He slept through the night from 3 weeks to 4 months and now we are having these sleep problems..What do I do? I have tried letting him CIO, but he is not wearing down at all! Please Help Me
Need Sleep!
hey i had the same problem with my little girl…. what i did was when she woke for a feed at night i realised when i gave her milk i was rewarding her for waking up… so i left her. i did controlled crying where when she did wake id get up . (she wiggles) so i would pull her back to the bottom of the cot, give her a kiss and say goodnight. then if she is still crying after 10 mins i would do it again, untill she got herself to sleep. now she sleeps all through. it was sooooo hard it lasted 2 weeks plus she was in my room…all of a sudden she slept through… hope this advice helps…. kerry
my daughter is 4 months old. she is a great baby during the day – and has her nap routine down perfectly. 2-2.5 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon and a 40 minute cat nap as I am getting dinner ready for the family. she goes down around 7-730p for the night…and thats where the fun begins. she has always woken for 2 night feedings – around 1a and 5a – and goes back down after both until 730a. we have been getting better at weaning off the 5a feed which seems to be working – using her pacifier to put her back down. however, she is now “losing” her nuk throughout the night and needs someone to go in several times per night to plug her. I fear that she is now confusing the plug times and actual feeding times. what can I do to help phase out overnight feeds all together and get her sleeping through the night (or one feed at 2-3a)?
I started putting Alyssa down and staying in the room for about ten min. before she goes asleep, but we decided to take the paci away, but I couldnt take it so I gave it back to her. So now I totally have to stay in the room til she goes to sleep even when she
had the paci. She decided to throw it away a couple days ago by herself, but now she still wont go asleep on her own. Please help!!!
I have a 10 month old baby and she refuses to eat any kind of solids-she eats just breast milk. Not from a bottle or sippy cup, just from me. The pediatrician said to give up on baby foods and try the soft foods that I eat. Now she is teething and not eating as much milk during the day. That said, she goes to bed around 7pm and wakes up between 4 and 6 to eat. Sometimes she’ll go back to sleep, sometimes she wont unless i bring her into bed. If it’s 6 am we just keep her awake. I don’t know if i should deprive her of that feeding in the early morning because I truly believe she’s has hunger pain. I don’t see how breast milk can keep her sustained for 10 to 11 hours. What you mentioned about the baby waking up earlier and earlier then thinking she can feed anytime she wakes up happens to us and we have to re-train her to sleep longer through the night again. I keep hoping she’ll stabilize to waking up around 5 am to feed and then going back to sleep till 7. If she were to sleep through the night we are all up at 6 am and I worry then about how little she gets in total. What should I do?
This is my concern too, because a breastfed child cannot go as long without nursing. My daughter did not start eating 3 meals a day until very recently and she is 27 months old. At ten months a totally breastfed baby still needs those frequent nursings. My little one took no bottle or sippy cup either. I became resigned to the every-so-often teething bouts.
How do you know it is just a game or really a problem; hunger, teething, illness…?
My daughter is 33 months old. She goes to bed at 8 p.m. and sleeps through the night until 6:00 a.m. She still has a 1 1/2 hour nap from 12:00 noon to 1:30 p.m. If I eliminate the afternoon nap, will she likely sleep from 7:30 p.m. to 7:30 a.m.?
probably not. She still needs a nap, do you wake her from her nap or is that as long as she sleeps on her own? The better nap she has the more likely she will sleep well at night. 8-6 isn’t bad though!
Hi Dana-
My son is 5 months old and he depends on his pacifer to go to sleep. He is actually a really good sleeper however there is at least once when he wakes up for it. He does need it to go to sleep and I am wondering what I do to ween him from his fire? Do I just stop giving it to him? Your advise would be helpful.
My son is 19 months old. He goes to sleep every night between 8:30-9:00 after an 8oz bottle of milk and still wakes up around 4am. He throws everything out of his bed including his pillow and pacifers, which forces me to go into his room and put everything back in his crib. I’ve let him cry himself to sleep but he’s cried for as long as an hour. It totally breaks my heart. My husband and I are exhausted, so at times we bring him into our bed where he falls back to sleep until about 8am. How to I get him to sleep though the night at this point? And how do I know it isn’t a teething or nightmare problem? He’s already old enough to know what he has to do to get me to go into his room. I don’t know what else to do. I’m sooooo frustrated!!! Please help!!!
How do I get my 19 month old out of my bed and into his crib. Our 19 mnth old son sleeps through the night but wakes up crying in his sleep often around 2-3 am. He falls asleep in our bed and wakes up when we put him in his crib so end up back in our bed again. Please help. I am told I should let him cry until he falls asleep but when I do this he ends up throwing up all over everything. I don’t know what to do.
I am heading back to work after a year of maternity leave and am panicked about handing India’s nap routine over to my husband and mother-in-law. Any advice for making this transition easier on everyone? I’ve tried a few trial runs with my husband trying to put her down but she just cries for him. I’m worried that this new stage is going to change my otherwise amazing sleeper and napper into something else entirely! Help!
This has to do with a 6 year old. My middle child who is 6 still does not sleep through the night. He has trouble even going to sleep we still have to lay with him every night. Then a couple hours later he is in bed with us sometimes without us even knowing it. How do I stop this?
My daughter just turned two last month, and still wakes up several times at night-every hour or so, then goes back to sleep. This goes on all night, and it keeps me up, i wake up tired most mornings. We sleep together on the same bed-that is all we have. What can I do to help her sleep more soundly.
Thanks
My 2 and a half month old goes to bed around 7:00pm and then he sleeps until about 1:00am at which time i feed him. Then after that feed he wakes up again after two hours and I feed him again sometimes if i cant get him back to sleep any other way and then after that he wakes up every half hour to hour. Should i wake him up before 1:00am for another feed. How do i get that long sleep stretch to be from 11:00pm to 5:00am.
My baby is almost 6 months old. He used to sleep from around 7;30 till 7 am with one feeding around 3 am. Suddenly he started waking up at night 3-4 times. He also is waking up around 6am. We try to not go there till 7am, but sometimes I feel bad about it since his diper is probably soiled, and he is just lying there in a dark. Is there any way to make him not to wake up during night and sleep a little longer?
check him and see if he is soiled, let him know you are there, do not pick him up, say goodnight and leave the room. That way you know he is not soiled and he knows it is still time to sleep.
My son Harrison is almost 2 1/2. We put him to bed in between 730pm and 9pm depending on our evening plans. He takes a bit to fall asleep in his toddler bed, but does fall asleep knowing we are outside his door. He seems to be getting up every night around 1 or 2am and it is a fight to get him to go back to sleep in his room. We have been letting him come into our room and sleep on a mat on our floor which he falls asleep on and stays asleep until 7am. How do we keep him in his room all night? I am too tired at 1 or 2 am to keep going back into his room to try and get him to sleep in his bed. Any suggestions?
Melissa
First thing he needs is a consistent bed time, the bed time should not vary by an hour and a half every night, at most it should be 30 minutes different, if he goes to bed at 7:30 one night and 9 the next, it will really mess up his whole schedule. Second is that you need to work through your exhaustion for a few nights and get him back into his bed. It is normal for a child or adult to wake in the middle of the night, but we all need to know how to put ourselves back to sleep in our own beds. Go in and tell him you are there but it is still night time and he needs to go back to sleep in his bed like a big boy. If you have to keep going back and put him down do it, after a few nights he wont even try to get up and go into your room because he knows there is no use. He is old enough to understand that he needs to stay in his own bed. At 2 and 1/2 you probably have him in a toddler bed already and are working on potty training? Maybe he needs to use the potty, even if you haven’t started that yet, that could be why he is waking, he is ready to be potty trained and use the potty on his own and that urge is waking him.
What if my 11 month old son fights sleep? how do I put him to bed? If I stick him in his crib all he does is get back up and cry, then if I leave the room he cries for hours and hours. I’ve been rocking him and that works sometimes, otherwise We are up all night and when he’s asleep he’s in our bed. What can I do?
we are trying to get the baby colin to sleep through the nite. when he wakes up at nite we just give him water but now he know that and just cries, we let him cry for awhile then we go in and rock him alittle and then he goes back to sleep. he is now nine months old is this ok
My 8 Month old son has been going to bed at 7pm and sleeping through until around 6.30 – 7am for about 4 months now however, in the past month he has started to fill his nappy/diaper at around 5am which is waking him up. If I change him and feed him he will go back to sleep until 7am. If I leave him or change him then leave him without feeding him, he will stay awake speaking to himself until 7am. His room is dark and he gets no interaction but will not go to sleep. He eats plenty through the day so should not be hungry. On the odd occasion that he does not fill his nappy he sleep til around 6.30am. I have been experimenting with what he eats through the day but can’t seem to find a soloution to this.
My 6 month son is still waking up every 2 hours on the dot. Sometimes I can give him his pacifier and he’ll fall back asleep and other times I’m having to nurse him. I know he just needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own but he’s very stubborn and cries so much that I just can’t handle it. I really don’t want to have him cry it out. He’s started eating solids but this has not yet helped his sleeping patterns. For his naps and his bedtime I lay him down awake so he can fall asleep on his own it’s just when he wakes up in the middle of the night he depends on his pacifier or me. What can I do??
Why should the middle of the night be any different than nap and bedtime? If you are not consistent with those he will be confused, so if he lays down awake for nap and bedtime he needs to soothe himself in the middle of the night. If you constantly have to give him his pacifier he will only get more dependent on it, try to wean him off of it now, you will thank yourself later that you did it this early!! Then be consistent with however you put him to bed, if you let him cry for nap, let him cry in the middle of the night. Or soothe him with words and rubbing his back, not letting him eat or suck on his pacifier.
i have been put my son down between 7-8pm but he is still waking up at 2 am and wont go back down untill 4 or 5 am then he is up at 8 or 9am what else can we do to fix this
My son is nearly 10 months old and still is not sleeping through the night. He is eating breakfast, lunch and dinner (and sometimes dessert) but still wakes up every 3 hours for a feed. Surely he can’t be hungry!!
Hi Felicia. Your son definitely isn’t hungry in the night. I had the same trouble with my son at 6 mths. I had to do controlled crying to stop him waking for a feed that he didn’t need. It was horrendous but he was sleeping through the night after 2 attempts & has slept through ever since. It’s tough but worth it in the long run. Good luck!
Hiya – what exactly is controlled crying? He woke up after 3 hours last night and I helped him back to sleep without feeding him and he slept for a further hour
Does he sleep with you?
With our 12 month old I did it gradually, at first I would only feed him if he woke after say 3am. Any time before that I would help him back to sleep any way possible. After a few nights we changed the time to an hour later and so on. Eventually, I stopped feeding at all during the night. The first night it took nearly 2 hours for him to settle to sleep only to wake an hour later but 5 nights later, he slept until 6.45! He has woken occasionally since but no longer expects a feed. We are working on going back to sleep alone next… Gradual and consistent worked for us.
This was really helpful and timely. The good news is I’m doing everything right, and I was very reassured that I should just keep up the good work and it will get better. Thanks!
hi my son jay is nearly 2and a half he still dosent sleep through the night he sometimes dont go to bed till midnight then wake 3 to 6times through the nite just grizzling,or he will go to bed at 8 sleep for 3hrs then wake up he has no bed time routine at all but he always wake up,im a single parent so im the 1 whos always there for jay,when he wake i get in bed with him but he still wake up,please can you give me any advice im so tired and i dont get a minute to my self jay sleep when i do he wake when i do,he dosent even nap during the day so thats not keeping him up late.i have a boyfriend who stay 3times a week and we never sleep 2gether as im always in bed with jay or hes running about all nite,its it to late now to get him a routine as hes over 2.please help thank you loretta
It is never too late to get into a routine. You have to start somewhere and it seems like you are at your wits end so now is the time. Your son needs you to set limits for him, set a bed time, tell him he needs to sleep in his bed by himself and mommy is going to sleep in her own bed, he will fight but you need to be the parent figure and do not let him tell you no. At 2 and 1/2 he is old enough to understand and manipulate you, set limits and be firm and do not let him get up, if he wake sat night put him back down and say goodnight, he may cry and fight it but eventually he will sleep. He also needs a nap during the day, kids who sleep well during the day will sleep better at night!
My son is 18 months old. He has only slept through the night probably only 10 times in his whole life. He is still waking up once or twice a night to drink a bottle. I want to stop this all together. He doesn’t eat a lot and getting him to eat is a chore. I think he is waking up becuase he is hungry. If I can get him full, he has a better chance of sleeping through the night. Just this week I have started giving him his bottle before he goes to bed. He has no problem going to sleep without his bottle, so I am thinking it is just that he gets hungry. The last couple of nights I feed him his dinner then about 30 min later I give him a pedisure and then before bed I give him his bottle. The last two nights he has slept through the night. Do you see anything wrong with what I am doing?
An 18 month old should not have a bottle. I would give him the milk in a cup before bed if you need to but not in a bottle.
Reply to Cathy Rowland:
Cathy i too are in the same position as you with my 20 month girl, she wakes at least once a night, around about 4am, daddy gets up and gives her a small bottle and off to sleep she goes to generally 7am. A bottle at night before bed…why not, they are still babies and if it settles them, i dont mean in bed, we give H her bottle about 40min before bed time in her chair. To be honest, i used to worry so much about it and that i was doing the wrong thing! Who says, what is right and what is wrong, you do what is best for you and your baby if it means getting a good nights sleep for everyone. Ive learnt not to sweat the small stuff, they are only little and it wont go on forever!!
Tyler will not sleep in his own bed, he prefers sleeping on the couch and on top of all that, he wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to my room and crawls into bed with my husband and I. I have tried everything, from staying with him in his room until he falls asleep (which never happens because he is in hysterics, he will not stay in his room), I have tried sitting with him until he falls back asleep, that only works for about one hour until he wakes up again, and I have tried letting him cry it out. I just can’t seem to let him cry for more than 30 minutes. It kills me. Tyler used to be able to fall asleep by himself in his crib, and then he stopped when got sick, and we couldn’t seem to get him to go back to his good sleeping habits. I am losing a lot of sleep as Tyler moves a lot during the night, and he seems to take the whole bed, no matter how small he really is.
Hello Dana,
My 14 1/2 month old has only just got into the habit of sleeping in her crib through the night (before now she refused and slept in bed with me- nursing ALL night!). I was putting her to bed between 6pm-7pm and she was waking once maybe twice in the night but would go back to sleep fairly easily, after maybe 15 minutes of crying. I think she might be teething at the moment with her molars coming through, so she has gone off food quite a lot. I worry when I put her to sleep that she hasn’t eaten enough in the day so when she was waking I was going in a feeding her. Now I seem to have set myself up, as she is waking 4-5 times through the night and refusing to go back to sleep so I am feeding her every time. Its like having a newborn again! I’m just wondering what is best to do when they are waking at night with teething pain?
Thanks!
Louise
10 month baby girl has a very bad sleep pattern early on she wouldnt fall asleep alone and now possibly due to me travelling and jet lag is going to bed late about 10 pm and still waking 4/5 hours later for a feed then sleeps through to 8 am but in our bed. the trouble is we live a flat and I cannt leaving her crying too long. she has her own room and cot but will not sleep in it. I have given in due to desperation but I know I must deal with this. Any advice.